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(EERIE MUSIC PLAYS OVER TV)
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ANNOUNCER: Mysteries in History,
with your host, Peter Graves.
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Although no one has ever been able
to prove their existence,
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a quasi-government agency,
the Men in Black,
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supposedly carries out operations
here on Earth
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in order to keep us safe from aliens
throughout the galaxies.
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Here is one of their stories
that "never happened"
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from one of their files
that doesn't exist.
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1978. The leaders of Zartha
flee their planet
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in order to escape the clutches
of the evil Kylothian, Serleena.
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Arriving on Earth, the Zarthans bring
with them their greatest treasure:
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The Light of Zartha,
a cosmic force so powerful,
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that in the wrong hands it could
lead to the annihilation of Zartha.
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The Zarthans' princess, Lauranna,
beseeched the Men in Black,
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to hide the Light from Serleena.
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But they had no choice.
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Intervention would have meant
the destruction of the Earth.
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(SPACESHIP WHIRRING)
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However, in an act of galactic bravery,
the Men in Black subdued Serleena,
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allowing the Zarthans to escape
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so they might hide the Light
on another planet.
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Serleena, released from her captors,
vowed that the Light would be hers,
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and that she would destroy
any planet that stood in her way.
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And so,
never knowing what happened,
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the people of Earth were saved
by a secret society of protectors
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known as the Men in Black.
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(♪♪♪)
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(BARKING)
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MAN:
Harvey!
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Harvey, get over here!
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Harvey. Heel, heel!
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You're barking at the moon, moron.
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Harvey. Harvey!
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Harvey!
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(BARKS)
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(CHIRPING)
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(WHIMPERS)
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(WHIMPERS)
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(SNORTS THEN BARKS)
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(GRUNTS)
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(ROARS)
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(♪♪♪)
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(SQUEAKING & GURGLING)
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(♪♪♪)
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Hey, pretty lady.
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You taste good.
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Hey, what the...?
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(ALIEN ROARING)
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(THUG SCREAMING)
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SERLEENA:
Yeah, you too.
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(STOMACH GURGLING)
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(LIQUID BUBBLING
THEN SPLASHING)
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(♪♪♪)
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Nothing fancy, no heroics.
By the book.
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Got it. Hey!
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Ooh. Hey, Jeff.
What's happening, buddy?
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We were wondering why you're here.
The man's talking to you.
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You know our arrangements.
Stay in the E, F and R subway lines
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and you get all the garbage
you want.
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What the hell are you doing here,
worm boy?
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Uh, Tee. Jeff, uh...
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Excuse my partner.
He's new and he's...
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(TEE SCREAMING)
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...Kind of stupid.
TEE: Whoa!
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(GROWLS)
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You getting big, Jeff.
Boy, what you been eating?
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(SCREAMING)
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Oh. You like jokes, huh?
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(♪♪♪)
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Jeffrey!
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(YELLS)
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Ah!
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All right.
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Sweet dreams, big boy.
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(ROARING)
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(MUFFLED GRUNTING)
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(TRAIN BELL RINGING)
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(GRUNTING)
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(JAY SCREAMING)
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(♪♪♪)
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(LAUGHS)
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Sweet dreams...
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(SCREAMING)
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(GRUNTS)
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...big boy.
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Transit authority.
Move to the forward car.
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We got a bug
in the electrical system.
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Yo! People! We got a bug
in the electrical system!
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(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
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Now y'all running'?
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No, no, no! Sit down!
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It's only a 600-foot worm.
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(ROARING)
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Everybody out before I knock heads.
Put the hammer down on this thing.
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I'm Captain Larry Bridgewater.
I decide what happens.
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Oh, oh. You decide? Oh.
Okay, come here. Come here.
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Larry? That's my man, Jeff.
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(ROARING)
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Larry just made a decision.
Larry need to take his ass in there.
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(ROARING)
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Don't make me do this, Jeff!
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(WHIMPERS)
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(♪♪♪)
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JAY:
Eighty-first Street.
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Just a second.
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May I have your attention, please?
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We thank you
for participating in our drill.
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Had this been an emergency,
you'd have been eaten.
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Because you don't listen.
You're ignorant.
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How a man gonna bash through...?
That's the problem with New Yorkers.
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"We've seen it all. A 600-foot worm!
Save us, Mr. Black Man!"
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I ask you nice, "Move to the next
car." You just sit there like...
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Thank you for participating.
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Hopefully, you enjoyed our smaller,
energy-efficient subway cars.
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Watch your step.
You will have a nice evening.
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(♪♪♪)
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I need a cleanup crew
at 81st and Central Park West.
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Revoke Jeff's movement privileges.
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Have him escorted
to the Chambers Street station.
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And please check the expiration date
on the unipod worm tranquilizers.
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Sorry, fellas. Station closed.
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Emergency drill. For your safety.
Do you believe these putzes?
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You're welcome.
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(♪♪♪)
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(GRUNTS)
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I know, by the book.
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Tee, when was the last time
we just looked at the stars?
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This is a test. I can do this.
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Ever feel like you're alone
in the universe?
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Yes.
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No.
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Hey, let me buy you a piece of pie.
Really?
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Thanks.
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Hey, you're not alone
in the universe.
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Remove the arm.
Okay.
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Please, shut up, Charlie.
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I'm tired of you constantly talking
behind my back.
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You meet a girl. She's into it.
The best line you come up with is:
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"Wanna come back to my place for
some tonsil hockey and egg salad?"
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Whoa! Who are you
and how'd you get in?
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You like egg salad?
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Serleena!
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Why didn't you say it was you?
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Where's the Light?
CHARLIE: Here's the deal.
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You're looking for this Light.
We found it.
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You want it, it'll cost you 50 mill.
Here's how it'll work. First...
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SERLEENA:
Where is the Light?
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(BOTH SCREAMING)
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We couldn't find it, but we found
a guy who might know where it is.
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He runs a pizza parlor
on Spring Street.
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Let's go.
And wipe your nose, idiot.
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Mmm. Oh. Good pie.
Yeah.
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Crowded.
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Well, they got good pie.
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(TEE SOBBING)
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What is wrong with you?
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You're gonna neuralyze me.
No, I'm not.
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You took me here
so I wouldn't make a scene.
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You making a scene.
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Let me ask you a question.
Why did you join MiB?
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Six years in the Marines.
I like the action. Protect the planet.
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You like being a hero?
You joined the wrong organization.
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You ever heard of James Edwards?
No.
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00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:07,931
Well, he saved the lives of 85 people
on the subway tonight.
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No one knows he exists.
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00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:14,563
And if no one knows he exists,
how can anyone ever love him?
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(SOBBING)
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00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:21,570
Hey, how long we been partners?
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00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:24,698
Feb 1.
Five months, three days.
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Started at noon.
Nine hours.
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(NEURALYZER ZAPS)
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Get married.
Have a bunch of kids.
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Okay.
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00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:47,512
Excuse me. My buddy's kind of shy,
but he thinks you are hot.
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00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:55,312
BEN:
Here it is. Ta-da.
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LAURA:
Ben, I don't know what to say.
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Years from now,
you know what people'll say?
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00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:03,528
"Employee" is spelled wrong?
Eh, they charge by the letter.
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00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:07,824
They'll say, "imagine that. Big shot
like her used to work here."
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00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:09,409
Ben...
You deserve it.
181
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:12,704
Bring up a case of Mountain Dew
from the basement.
182
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Hey, Bruno.
183
00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:22,839
SERLEENA: Two slices of pepperoni and
information about the Light of Zartha.
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BEN: Whoever you are, don't hurt me.
SERLEENA: Where's the Light, Ben?
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00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:28,136
BEN: I don't know what
you're talking about.
186
00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:31,056
Let me down, ma'am.
I want to report a robbery...
187
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(LOUD BANG)
188
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:41,316
There.
189
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Noise.
190
00:15:44,653 --> 00:15:46,112
Kitchen!
Oh.
191
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:52,202
SERLEENA:
You idiots see anything?
192
00:15:52,369 --> 00:15:55,413
Wind blew the door open.
193
00:15:56,081 --> 00:15:58,041
Nothing out of the ordinary.
194
00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:01,544
For 25 years, I've traveled
the universe looking for it.
195
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:04,673
But it never left Earth, did it?
You kept it here.
196
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:06,549
What are you talking about?
197
00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:09,260
I'm running out of time.
Where's the Light?
198
00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:12,222
BEN: I don't know what you mean.
SERLEENA: Listen, Zarthan.
199
00:16:12,389 --> 00:16:14,975
You hid the Light on Earth.
I'll find it.
200
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:18,687
Once we have the Light,
Zartha will be ours.
201
00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:21,398
(IN DEEP VOICE) You're too late.
Tomorrow at midnight,
202
00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:25,110
the Light will leave
the third planet and be back home.
203
00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:27,612
Sorry you made the trip for nothing.
204
00:16:27,779 --> 00:16:29,739
(GROWLING)
205
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:40,417
Now we don't know
if it's on Earth or not.
206
00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:42,961
He said third planet.
It's here, you idiot.
207
00:16:43,128 --> 00:16:46,840
Third Rock from the Sun.
I never got that till now.
208
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:51,219
It's on Earth, and I know
who's gonna tell me where it is.
209
00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:01,271
(THUNDER CRASHING)
210
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,528
(♪♪♪)
211
00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:18,705
Don't you ever go home?
Nope.
212
00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:21,666
I see you neuralyzed
another partner.
213
00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:30,925
Bee, Dee, when you use
a fission carbonizer,
214
00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:34,804
attach a de-atomizer
so it doesn't sound like a cannon.
215
00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:38,308
Hey, get some booties on them things.
You're crapping up the floor.
216
00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:40,560
(ALIEN SPEAKS
IN ALIEN LANGUAGE)
217
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:44,105
Check his visa.
218
00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:48,443
The Cephalopods have been making
counterfeits at Kinko's on Canal.
219
00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:53,865
Why do I have a dead Tricrainasloph
going through passport control?
220
00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:58,203
That'd be my fault. I'm very sorry.
Please don't neuralyze me, sir.
221
00:17:58,369 --> 00:18:01,623
What's that supposed to mean?
Nothing, sir.
222
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,003
Good work in the subway.
223
00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:09,005
I remember Jeff
when he was yea high.
224
00:18:09,172 --> 00:18:11,049
What you got for me?
225
00:18:11,216 --> 00:18:13,510
Look. See those guys in black suits?
226
00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:16,763
They work here. We got it covered.
Zed, what you got?
227
00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:21,184
Dedication's one thing, but this job
will eat you up and spit you out.
228
00:18:21,351 --> 00:18:24,312
You want to look like me
when you hit 50...
229
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:26,648
ish?
230
00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:29,734
I'll be in the gym if you need me.
231
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:33,738
All right, there was a killing earlier.
177 Spring.
232
00:18:33,905 --> 00:18:35,198
Alien-on-alien.
233
00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:37,909
Take Tee with you
and make a report.
234
00:18:38,076 --> 00:18:40,912
Um... Tee. Right.
235
00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:43,498
What happened...
What happened with Tee...
236
00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:46,668
Passports. No rush.
How they hanging, Jay?
237
00:18:46,835 --> 00:18:49,879
You have got to stop neuralyzing
MiB personnel.
238
00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:52,257
He was crying
in the middle of the diner.
239
00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:53,967
FRANK:
I hate that.
240
00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:56,761
And plus, you can't count Elle.
241
00:18:56,928 --> 00:18:59,889
She wanted to go back
to the morgue. I helped her.
242
00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:02,934
You need a partner.
I'm cool.
243
00:19:03,226 --> 00:19:05,228
I'll be his partner.
244
00:19:06,104 --> 00:19:09,107
Jay, wait up.
I appreciate the shot, man.
245
00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:11,484
Thought I'd never get out.
Lose the suit.
246
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,862
Sure thing.
Just going for the look.
247
00:19:14,028 --> 00:19:16,739
But if I say so myself,
I find it slimming.
248
00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:19,534
Not that I've had problems
with the ladies.
249
00:19:19,701 --> 00:19:21,286
When you get down to... Whoa.
250
00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:23,204
Nice sled, very swank.
251
00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:25,498
Heated seats?
Sometimes I get hives.
252
00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:30,253
♪ Now learn to get along
And so you're back ♪
253
00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:34,174
♪ From outer space
I just walked in to find you here ♪
254
00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:36,259
♪ With that sad look
Upon your face ♪
255
00:19:36,426 --> 00:19:38,303
♪ I should have changed
That stupid lock ♪
256
00:19:38,469 --> 00:19:40,388
♪ I should have made you
Leave your key ♪
257
00:19:40,555 --> 00:19:43,933
♪ If I had known for just one second
You'd be back to bother me ♪
258
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:46,769
♪ Go on, now, go
Walk out the door ♪ ♪
259
00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:48,271
Frank!
260
00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:52,775
Bring your head in this window
before I roll it up in there.
261
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:54,319
Got it.
262
00:19:56,154 --> 00:20:00,158
(FRANK HUMMING
"I WILL SURVIVE")
263
00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:01,784
Frank!
264
00:20:01,993 --> 00:20:03,036
(♪♪♪)
265
00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:04,996
FRANK:
My money? It's missionary.
266
00:20:05,163 --> 00:20:08,249
I was in the Bowery,
and I meet this Great Dane.
267
00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:10,668
A little thick in the body,
but pretty.
268
00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:13,963
JAY: That's just not appealing
to me, man. Seriously.
269
00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:16,424
FRANK: I say we do the
good cop, bad cop thing.
270
00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:19,135
You interrogate the witness
and I growl. Grrr!
271
00:20:19,302 --> 00:20:23,556
How about we do the good cop, dumb
dog thing, and you just shut up?
272
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,100
FRANK: You got it, partner.
Total silence.
273
00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:29,604
Absolute quiet.
Not a word out of me.
274
00:20:30,313 --> 00:20:31,940
What do we got?
275
00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:33,816
Zip.
276
00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:37,528
What do we got?
There's residue on the wall.
277
00:20:37,695 --> 00:20:42,617
We sent samples to Em for analysis.
Hey, Jay, zero percent body fat.
278
00:20:42,992 --> 00:20:44,410
(BOTH LAUGHING)
279
00:20:45,370 --> 00:20:47,038
Funny.
Witness?
280
00:20:47,956 --> 00:20:49,540
Girl. Saw everything.
281
00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:52,293
She's taking it well.
282
00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:56,631
I won't answer any more questions.
I want to know what happened here.
283
00:20:56,965 --> 00:20:59,092
I'll handle this one.
FRANK: You got it.
284
00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:02,637
Alone. A talking dog might be
a bit much for her now.
285
00:21:02,804 --> 00:21:04,847
What do you want me to do?
286
00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:06,349
Sniff around.
287
00:21:06,516 --> 00:21:07,934
(AGENTS LAUGHING)
288
00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:09,352
What?
289
00:21:09,852 --> 00:21:10,979
Funny.
290
00:21:11,145 --> 00:21:13,606
AGENT: Take a deep breath.
Everything is all right.
291
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:16,901
What part is she supposed
to feel all right about?
292
00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:21,698
I'm Agent Jay.
293
00:21:21,864 --> 00:21:23,366
Tell me what you saw.
294
00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:26,035
A two-headed guy and a woman.
Caucasian?
295
00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:29,205
Gray, with tentacles
that she used to rip...
296
00:21:29,372 --> 00:21:30,456
His skin off.
297
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:35,920
It's not skin. It's protoplasma polymer
similar to the gum in baseball cards.
298
00:21:36,087 --> 00:21:38,673
What was the last thing you ate?
Calzone.
299
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:39,966
What time?
Lunch.
300
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:41,467
Spinach?
Mushroom.
301
00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:43,219
Hm.
302
00:21:43,386 --> 00:21:44,929
You need pie.
303
00:21:45,888 --> 00:21:48,099
LAURA:
They kept asking Ben about a light.
304
00:21:48,266 --> 00:21:50,476
Light of Zartha,
something like that.
305
00:21:50,977 --> 00:21:52,520
You okay?
306
00:21:52,687 --> 00:21:55,982
An hour ago, a man I've known
my whole life vanished
307
00:21:56,149 --> 00:21:58,735
because of a woman with
things coming out her fingers
308
00:21:58,901 --> 00:22:01,612
and a two-headed guy
with the IQ of a cannoli.
309
00:22:01,779 --> 00:22:04,449
So yeah, everything's okay.
310
00:22:06,034 --> 00:22:09,746
When we're kids,
before we're taught how to think,
311
00:22:09,912 --> 00:22:13,249
our hearts tell us there is
something else out there.
312
00:22:13,416 --> 00:22:18,338
I know what I saw. Tell me
what I'm supposed to believe.
313
00:22:23,968 --> 00:22:29,098
I'm a member of a secret organization
that monitors alien activity on Earth.
314
00:22:29,265 --> 00:22:31,476
Ben was an alien.
So were his killers.
315
00:22:31,642 --> 00:22:35,646
I don't know why they did it,
but I promise I'm gonna find out.
316
00:22:36,939 --> 00:22:38,900
Okay.
317
00:22:39,275 --> 00:22:41,819
Okay?
Okay.
318
00:22:43,237 --> 00:22:44,655
Okay.
319
00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:49,786
Uh... Uh...
320
00:22:49,952 --> 00:22:52,747
I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to...
Kill me.
321
00:22:52,914 --> 00:22:54,457
No! Ha-ha.
322
00:22:54,624 --> 00:22:58,544
Just a little flash and everything
goes back the way it was.
323
00:22:58,961 --> 00:23:02,298
After you flash me,
324
00:23:02,465 --> 00:23:04,926
if I see you again,
will I know it's you?
325
00:23:05,093 --> 00:23:07,136
I'll see you.
326
00:23:09,806 --> 00:23:11,516
But you won't see me.
327
00:23:11,682 --> 00:23:13,768
Must be hard.
328
00:23:13,935 --> 00:23:15,812
Must be very lonely.
329
00:23:19,357 --> 00:23:21,025
(BICYCLE BELL RINGS)
330
00:23:23,486 --> 00:23:25,655
(COMMUNICATOR BEEPING)
331
00:23:25,822 --> 00:23:26,823
(SIGHS)
332
00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:29,117
(COMMUNICATOR BEEPING)
333
00:23:31,577 --> 00:23:32,620
Excuse me.
334
00:23:33,955 --> 00:23:36,958
I gotta go.
What about the flashy thing?
335
00:23:37,125 --> 00:23:40,753
Uh... I'll flash you
some other time.
336
00:23:47,176 --> 00:23:49,095
(BAHA MEN'S "WHO LET THE DOGS
OUT" PLAYING OVER STEREO)
337
00:23:49,262 --> 00:23:50,513
♪ Who let the dogs out ♪
338
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:52,515
(BARKING ALONG)
339
00:23:53,141 --> 00:23:54,475
♪ Who let the dogs out ♪
340
00:23:54,642 --> 00:23:56,060
(FRANK BARKING)
341
00:23:56,227 --> 00:23:57,520
♪ Who let the dogs out ♪♪
342
00:23:57,687 --> 00:23:58,688
(MUSIC STOPS)
343
00:23:58,855 --> 00:24:00,189
What?
344
00:24:00,356 --> 00:24:01,691
(REMOTE CONTROL CHIRPS)
345
00:24:03,025 --> 00:24:04,527
(REMOTE CONTROL CHIRPS)
346
00:24:04,694 --> 00:24:10,199
Did you tell the girl you love her?
She's a witness to a crime. That's it.
347
00:24:10,408 --> 00:24:14,495
Yada, yada. You're attracted. She's
not my species, and I'm attracted.
348
00:24:14,662 --> 00:24:18,624
I should take advice on love from
a dude that chases his own ass?
349
00:24:18,791 --> 00:24:22,837
Easy, pal. That's canine profiling,
and I resent it.
350
00:24:23,254 --> 00:24:25,256
(♪♪♪)
351
00:24:37,685 --> 00:24:39,395
(REMOTE CONTROL CHIRPS)
352
00:24:39,562 --> 00:24:40,897
FRANK:
Hey, Jay, wait up.
353
00:24:41,063 --> 00:24:44,066
Coming through. MiB brass.
Look sharp.
354
00:24:44,233 --> 00:24:48,196
I'm Agent Eff, Jay's new partner.
Who are you eyeballing, huh?
355
00:24:48,362 --> 00:24:50,615
Frank, just cool out, dog.
356
00:24:50,907 --> 00:24:52,116
(CHUCKLES)
357
00:24:52,408 --> 00:24:53,951
Got kids?
No.
358
00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:55,161
Want them?
359
00:24:55,328 --> 00:24:56,370
(GROWLING AND BARKING)
360
00:24:56,537 --> 00:24:58,623
(AGENT SCREAMING)
361
00:24:58,789 --> 00:25:00,750
AGENT:
Get him off me!
362
00:25:07,256 --> 00:25:08,382
(COMMUNICATOR BEEPS)
363
00:25:09,133 --> 00:25:11,761
Talk to me.
It's Kylothian, class C.
364
00:25:11,928 --> 00:25:12,970
Serleena.
365
00:25:13,137 --> 00:25:15,473
JAY: Serleena. Old girlfriend?
She wishes.
366
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:18,351
The perps were looking
for the Light of...
367
00:25:18,518 --> 00:25:20,186
Zartha.
Yeah, what is it?
368
00:25:20,353 --> 00:25:22,813
This makes no sense.
It's not on Earth.
369
00:25:22,980 --> 00:25:26,275
We took care of this a long time ago.
Obviously not.
370
00:25:26,442 --> 00:25:28,444
That is very bad news.
371
00:25:28,611 --> 00:25:32,323
The Zarthans came to Earth
to hide the Light from Serleena.
372
00:25:32,490 --> 00:25:35,993
We don't do that.
Right. I ordered it off the planet.
373
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:37,787
Well, Zed...
374
00:25:37,954 --> 00:25:42,416
I got a Kylothian class C in my park.
Are you sure this Light isn't here?
375
00:25:42,583 --> 00:25:46,170
Positive. I gave the order.
My best agent carried it out.
376
00:25:46,337 --> 00:25:48,923
It's as if I gave the order to you.
Ask the agent.
377
00:25:49,090 --> 00:25:50,174
Can't.
Dead?
378
00:25:50,341 --> 00:25:52,718
Sort of. He works at the post office.
379
00:25:52,885 --> 00:25:54,512
(♪♪♪)
380
00:25:54,679 --> 00:25:55,805
No.
381
00:25:55,972 --> 00:25:58,641
If Serleena gets to Kay
before we do, he's dead.
382
00:25:58,808 --> 00:26:01,852
The Earth's very existence
may rest on what Kay knows.
383
00:26:02,019 --> 00:26:04,480
Too bad you wiped out
his memory of it.
384
00:26:04,647 --> 00:26:06,148
Bring him in.
385
00:26:06,482 --> 00:26:07,525
Now.
386
00:26:07,692 --> 00:26:11,779
FRANK: How cool is this? Going to get Kay.
The legend, the go-to guy.
387
00:26:11,946 --> 00:26:14,490
Your mentor, the guy who taught you
everything you know.
388
00:26:14,657 --> 00:26:19,287
The greatest agent in MiB history!
JAY: Frank! Stop talking.
389
00:26:23,082 --> 00:26:24,375
Stay.
390
00:26:24,542 --> 00:26:28,296
Listen, partner. I may look like a dog,
but I only play one here on Earth.
391
00:26:28,462 --> 00:26:30,006
(DOG BARKING)
392
00:26:30,172 --> 00:26:33,050
Whatever. Wipe your mouth.
Hey, babe.
393
00:26:38,014 --> 00:26:39,015
(BELL RINGING)
394
00:26:39,181 --> 00:26:42,310
KAY: People of Truro, may I
kindly have your attention?
395
00:26:42,476 --> 00:26:44,895
To facilitate your shipping needs,
396
00:26:45,062 --> 00:26:47,732
all packages must be
properly wrapped.
397
00:26:47,898 --> 00:26:51,777
This one is an example of
"go home and do it again."
398
00:26:51,944 --> 00:26:54,739
I think you know what I mean,
Mrs. Vigushin. Heh, heh.
399
00:26:54,905 --> 00:26:59,785
Brown paper and triple-twist twine
are the preferred media.
400
00:26:59,952 --> 00:27:01,704
Thank you for your time.
401
00:27:03,039 --> 00:27:05,791
Kay.
C. Express mail, two-day air.
402
00:27:07,710 --> 00:27:10,379
Kevin. Heh. Wow.
403
00:27:10,546 --> 00:27:13,758
Kevin. That's funny.
You don't have a "Kevin"...
404
00:27:16,510 --> 00:27:18,721
You don't remember.
We worked together.
405
00:27:18,888 --> 00:27:23,017
I never worked in a funeral home.
Something I can do for you, slick?
406
00:27:23,184 --> 00:27:24,810
Straight to the point.
407
00:27:25,561 --> 00:27:29,774
You were an agent of an organization
that monitors aliens on Earth.
408
00:27:29,940 --> 00:27:34,028
We're the Men in Black. We have
a situation. We need your help.
409
00:27:34,195 --> 00:27:37,907
There is a free mental health clinic on
the corner of Lilac and East Valley.
410
00:27:38,074 --> 00:27:40,076
Next.
GIRL: Excuse me.
411
00:27:40,576 --> 00:27:42,620
Twenty Rugrats stamps.
KAY: Elizabeth.
412
00:27:42,787 --> 00:27:47,083
The Postal Service hasn't kept up
with today's youth, but we have
413
00:27:47,249 --> 00:27:49,919
Berlin airlift stamps. Opera legends?
No. No.
414
00:27:50,086 --> 00:27:53,089
American Samoa? Amish quilts.
No.
415
00:27:53,255 --> 00:27:55,966
I'm sorry, got a world to save here.
416
00:27:57,343 --> 00:27:59,387
There was no coma.
It was a cover.
417
00:27:59,553 --> 00:28:01,347
Who are you?
Who are you?
418
00:28:01,514 --> 00:28:05,810
Postmaster of Truro, Massachusetts,
and I'm ordering you to leave.
419
00:28:08,729 --> 00:28:10,189
Is that decaf?
Sorry.
420
00:28:10,356 --> 00:28:12,733
We have a breach.
Cordon off this area.
421
00:28:12,900 --> 00:28:15,903
Full perimeter wipe-down,
right here, right now.
422
00:28:16,070 --> 00:28:20,449
Get a mop and escort all civilian
personnel from this site immediately.
423
00:28:20,616 --> 00:28:23,786
Listen to yourself, Kay.
Who talks like that?
424
00:28:24,203 --> 00:28:25,955
(DEVICE BEEPING)
425
00:28:30,835 --> 00:28:32,211
Boo.
426
00:28:32,878 --> 00:28:40,878
(BEATBOXING
IN ALIEN LANGUAGE)
427
00:28:43,389 --> 00:28:45,391
(BEATBOXING
IN ALIEN LANGUAGE)
428
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:55,443
(BEATBOXING
IN ALIEN LANGUAGE)
429
00:28:56,485 --> 00:28:58,320
(♪♪♪)
430
00:29:08,831 --> 00:29:10,166
(SQUEAKS)
431
00:29:11,625 --> 00:29:13,169
(MOANS)
432
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:22,678
Why do you think you're
so comfortable here?
433
00:29:24,221 --> 00:29:27,850
Just about everybody who works
in a post office is an alien.
434
00:29:28,017 --> 00:29:30,019
(KEEL'S "SPEED DEMON"
PLAYING)
435
00:29:30,186 --> 00:29:35,566
♪ It's all I need
To get to where I'm going ♪
436
00:29:35,733 --> 00:29:36,901
No smoking.
437
00:29:37,067 --> 00:29:44,074
♪ Speed demon
I can hear the highway ♪♪
438
00:29:44,575 --> 00:29:46,535
(ENGINE SPUTTERING)
439
00:29:46,702 --> 00:29:47,828
JAY:
Kay.
440
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:51,749
My wife and I saw Siegfried and Roy
fly a tiger around a room.
441
00:29:51,916 --> 00:29:53,417
You're nothing special.
442
00:29:53,584 --> 00:29:56,504
When you look at the stars,
you get a feeling,
443
00:29:56,670 --> 00:29:58,672
like you don't know who you are.
444
00:29:58,839 --> 00:30:02,468
Like you know more about out there
than you do down here.
445
00:30:02,635 --> 00:30:07,223
That's why she left you, Kay.
That's why your wife left you.
446
00:30:09,225 --> 00:30:11,060
Okay, I'll tell you what.
447
00:30:11,227 --> 00:30:15,147
You want to know who you really are,
take a ride with me.
448
00:30:15,314 --> 00:30:19,193
If not, people are waiting
for their TV Guides.
449
00:30:22,363 --> 00:30:23,864
FRANK:
Think he'll bite?
450
00:30:24,031 --> 00:30:25,241
(REMOTE CHIRPS)
451
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:29,495
(REMOTE CHIRPS)
452
00:30:29,745 --> 00:30:33,499
I'm just going for a ride. If things
don't add up, it's hasta luego.
453
00:30:33,666 --> 00:30:35,251
FRANK:
Hey, Kay.
454
00:30:36,585 --> 00:30:38,838
How's it hanging?
455
00:30:41,382 --> 00:30:43,384
(♪♪♪)
456
00:30:53,143 --> 00:30:54,979
Good to see you, Kay.
457
00:30:55,145 --> 00:30:58,232
Good to see you too,
whoever you are.
458
00:30:59,608 --> 00:31:03,779
Well, let's see
what you got here, chief.
459
00:31:04,572 --> 00:31:07,074
(♪♪♪)
460
00:31:14,248 --> 00:31:16,542
Welcome back, Agent Kay.
461
00:31:17,793 --> 00:31:19,086
Agent Kay.
462
00:31:19,670 --> 00:31:21,714
DEVICE:
Greetings, Kay.
463
00:31:21,881 --> 00:31:23,799
(AGENTS CHATTERING)
464
00:31:23,966 --> 00:31:25,301
AGENT 1:
Wow, look who's back.
465
00:31:25,467 --> 00:31:28,012
I don't mean to bother you...
You're Agent Kay!
466
00:31:28,178 --> 00:31:31,348
That's what they tell me.
This is an honor. Agent Gee.
467
00:31:31,515 --> 00:31:33,976
The most respected agent
in MiB history.
468
00:31:34,143 --> 00:31:36,645
The most feared human
in the universe.
469
00:31:36,812 --> 00:31:39,815
Maybe I could
buy you a cup of coffee?
470
00:31:39,982 --> 00:31:42,651
Black, two sugars, if you're going.
An honor.
471
00:31:42,818 --> 00:31:46,155
Yeah, I'll take a... My man?
AGENT 2: Good to see you, Kay.
472
00:31:47,823 --> 00:31:49,241
How'd it go?
473
00:31:49,408 --> 00:31:51,869
The Drolacks are gone
and the treaty is signed.
474
00:31:52,036 --> 00:31:53,078
Good work.
475
00:31:53,245 --> 00:31:56,540
What about that position you
promised me in Men in Black?
476
00:31:56,707 --> 00:32:00,169
Still working on the alien
affirmative action program.
477
00:32:00,336 --> 00:32:02,588
That's not what you promised me.
478
00:32:02,755 --> 00:32:04,840
You're breaking up
Zed? Hello?
479
00:32:05,007 --> 00:32:08,260
I'll call you back.
I could be Agent Em. Zed, you...
480
00:32:08,427 --> 00:32:09,470
(LINE DISCONNECTS)
481
00:32:09,637 --> 00:32:14,141
I think Earth might be in a bad way.
You're the only one that could save it.
482
00:32:14,308 --> 00:32:17,394
Well, neither rain, sleet, snow...
Good man.
483
00:32:17,561 --> 00:32:21,482
Get him armed and up to speed
and over to deneuralyzation.
484
00:32:22,650 --> 00:32:23,776
ZED: Frank?
Yeah?
485
00:32:23,984 --> 00:32:25,945
I'm gonna need them together
on this one.
486
00:32:26,111 --> 00:32:27,196
Ouch.
487
00:32:27,363 --> 00:32:31,033
I need an assistant. It's not
field work, but you get dental.
488
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:32,701
Dental?
489
00:32:34,244 --> 00:32:35,287
(♪♪♪)
490
00:32:35,454 --> 00:32:39,667
The most advanced technologies from all
over the universe are in this room.
491
00:32:39,833 --> 00:32:41,001
What's this?
492
00:32:41,710 --> 00:32:42,753
(ALIENS SCREAMING)
493
00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:45,297
All is lost! All is lost!
494
00:32:46,382 --> 00:32:47,925
Don't touch that!
495
00:32:48,884 --> 00:32:50,761
I didn't do anything.
496
00:32:50,928 --> 00:32:54,098
Hands in your pockets.
497
00:33:03,524 --> 00:33:05,693
Your favorite weapon.
498
00:33:08,445 --> 00:33:10,739
That?
Yep.
499
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:13,325
Let's go put it on.
What?
500
00:33:13,492 --> 00:33:15,828
The last suit you'll ever wear.
501
00:33:15,995 --> 00:33:17,496
Again.
502
00:33:17,663 --> 00:33:18,998
The...
503
00:33:24,670 --> 00:33:26,005
The deneuralyzer.
504
00:33:27,589 --> 00:33:30,634
Magneto-energy will surge
through your brain,
505
00:33:30,801 --> 00:33:35,431
unlocking information that could hold
the key to Earth's very survival.
506
00:33:35,597 --> 00:33:38,267
Okay. What's that thing?
507
00:33:39,601 --> 00:33:41,645
The deneuralyzer.
508
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:45,816
(♪♪♪)
509
00:33:45,983 --> 00:33:47,985
(ALIENS CHATTERING)
510
00:33:49,111 --> 00:33:53,115
MAN 1: Welcome to planet Earth. There
are some rules and regulations.
511
00:33:53,282 --> 00:33:54,700
Go out only at night.
512
00:33:54,867 --> 00:33:59,121
If you must go out during the
daylight, only the East Village.
513
00:33:59,455 --> 00:34:01,457
(TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
514
00:34:03,542 --> 00:34:05,085
MAN 2:
Hey, hey, hey!
515
00:34:05,461 --> 00:34:07,463
(WOMAN TALKING INDISTINCTLY
OVER PA)
516
00:34:09,298 --> 00:34:12,217
MAN 3:
Name and planet of origin?
517
00:34:12,384 --> 00:34:16,138
Sylona Gorth. Planet Jorn.
Kaluth system.
518
00:34:17,139 --> 00:34:21,143
Any fruits or vegetables?
Yeah, two heads of cabbage.
519
00:34:21,310 --> 00:34:22,352
Reason for visit?
520
00:34:22,519 --> 00:34:26,023
Education. I want to learn
how to be an underwear model.
521
00:34:26,190 --> 00:34:28,942
They told me I've got real potential.
Hmm?
522
00:34:29,109 --> 00:34:31,111
(GASPS)
523
00:34:31,487 --> 00:34:33,280
CHARLIE:
Help! Heart attack!
524
00:34:34,490 --> 00:34:35,949
Clear!
525
00:34:37,201 --> 00:34:39,203
Wake up, champ!
526
00:34:42,831 --> 00:34:44,041
(ALARM BLARING)
527
00:34:44,416 --> 00:34:45,459
Oh, jeez.
528
00:34:45,626 --> 00:34:47,920
WOMAN (OVER PA):
Lockdown. Code 101.
529
00:34:48,837 --> 00:34:50,798
Lockdown.
530
00:34:51,673 --> 00:34:54,343
This is not good.
This is not good.
531
00:35:01,016 --> 00:35:02,684
Breach! We're being flushed.
532
00:35:02,851 --> 00:35:04,019
Flushed?
Yep.
533
00:35:04,561 --> 00:35:06,647
Ever been to a water park?
I don't know.
534
00:35:06,814 --> 00:35:08,148
(FLUSHING)
535
00:35:17,533 --> 00:35:20,202
(♪♪♪)
536
00:35:37,261 --> 00:35:38,846
(CAR HORNS HONKING)
537
00:35:40,472 --> 00:35:42,891
Whoo! Heh. Flushed. Heh.
538
00:35:44,351 --> 00:35:48,480
Yeah, man, back when you was
an agent, you loved getting flushed.
539
00:35:48,647 --> 00:35:53,235
Yeah, every Saturday night, you'd
be like, "Flush me, Jay. Flush me."
540
00:35:53,402 --> 00:35:55,154
I'd be like, "No."
541
00:35:56,780 --> 00:35:58,282
You can't quit on me.
542
00:35:58,448 --> 00:36:01,368
I save the world, you tell me
why I stare at the stars.
543
00:36:01,535 --> 00:36:03,078
Cool.
544
00:36:05,414 --> 00:36:07,124
Hop in.
Hop in what?
545
00:36:08,917 --> 00:36:10,252
(REMOTE CHIRPS)
546
00:36:13,255 --> 00:36:16,133
Does that come standard?
It came with a black dude,
547
00:36:16,300 --> 00:36:19,094
but he kept getting pulled over.
Yep.
548
00:36:19,720 --> 00:36:21,430
(♪♪♪)
549
00:36:21,597 --> 00:36:26,476
Silly little planet. I could rule the place
with the right set of mammary glands.
550
00:36:26,852 --> 00:36:28,437
Trapped like rats
551
00:36:29,146 --> 00:36:30,230
in a Chia Pet.
552
00:36:30,397 --> 00:36:32,983
Computer, surveillance MiB.
553
00:36:36,695 --> 00:36:39,615
Hmm. MiB is locked down.
554
00:36:41,700 --> 00:36:45,287
Computer, magnify. Times 10.
555
00:36:46,455 --> 00:36:48,332
Communicator. Frank.
556
00:36:48,624 --> 00:36:50,959
Jay, where are you?
JAY: We got flushed.
557
00:36:51,126 --> 00:36:53,295
MiB is code 101.
Yeah, who did it?
558
00:36:53,462 --> 00:36:56,423
Some hot-looking biker chick.
Want me to tail her?
559
00:36:56,590 --> 00:37:01,470
Stay where you are. I'll be in touch.
Stay where I am. Easy for you to say.
560
00:37:01,637 --> 00:37:03,013
Find Kay?
Neuralyzed.
561
00:37:03,180 --> 00:37:05,807
Not active. Civilian.
What?
562
00:37:05,974 --> 00:37:07,017
He was...
Here.
563
00:37:07,184 --> 00:37:08,518
To get...
Deneuralyzed.
564
00:37:08,685 --> 00:37:13,232
Memory's shot. But we'll find him.
Don't put anything in our ears.
565
00:37:14,149 --> 00:37:15,192
What?
566
00:37:15,359 --> 00:37:18,820
What do you make of that?
Found it in my pocket. Weird, huh?
567
00:37:18,987 --> 00:37:21,740
Yeah, you're smiling.
Is that the only deneuralyzer?
568
00:37:21,907 --> 00:37:24,826
Officially. The plans leaked out
on the Internet.
569
00:37:24,993 --> 00:37:26,995
Computer, Internet.
570
00:37:27,162 --> 00:37:28,997
Deneuralyzer.
571
00:37:29,498 --> 00:37:31,375
(COMPUTER BEEPING)
572
00:37:33,085 --> 00:37:35,045
JAY:
Perfect. It's an old friend.
573
00:37:35,337 --> 00:37:37,339
(♪♪♪)
574
00:37:41,677 --> 00:37:42,678
(DOOR OPENS)
575
00:37:42,844 --> 00:37:44,846
Jay, ain't seen you in a while.
576
00:37:45,013 --> 00:37:47,766
Did you peep that drop-top thing
out front?
577
00:37:47,933 --> 00:37:50,060
My business is banging, dog.
578
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:53,939
You gotta check out the website.
It's Jeebsie dot...
579
00:37:54,189 --> 00:37:56,191
Okay, whoa. He's retired, right?
580
00:37:56,650 --> 00:37:58,402
We need the deneuralyzer.
581
00:37:58,568 --> 00:38:01,905
JEEBS: You're kidding.
The meter's running, Jeebs.
582
00:38:04,324 --> 00:38:06,535
Do you remember me?
583
00:38:07,077 --> 00:38:09,204
Can't say I do.
I'm good with faces.
584
00:38:09,371 --> 00:38:11,164
Heh. I think I'd remember that.
585
00:38:11,331 --> 00:38:12,541
(LAUGHS)
586
00:38:12,708 --> 00:38:14,751
The great Kay's a neutral.
587
00:38:14,918 --> 00:38:19,214
You're between me and my memories. Do
you have this deneuralyzer or not?
588
00:38:19,381 --> 00:38:20,716
No.
589
00:38:21,883 --> 00:38:23,385
Fresh out.
590
00:38:24,594 --> 00:38:26,263
Can't help you. Heh.
591
00:38:28,348 --> 00:38:29,891
Don't got it.
592
00:38:38,567 --> 00:38:42,446
Even if I did, if it doesn't work,
he dies, you blow my head off.
593
00:38:42,612 --> 00:38:46,658
If it does, I've brought back Kay,
who, for fun, blows my head oh'.
594
00:38:46,825 --> 00:38:48,744
So, what's my incentive?
595
00:38:49,077 --> 00:38:53,248
Okay, homey, I keep it downstairs
next to the snow blowers.
596
00:38:53,415 --> 00:38:54,791
(♪♪♪)
597
00:38:55,250 --> 00:38:56,501
(DOOR BUZZES)
598
00:38:56,668 --> 00:39:00,005
MAN (OVER PA): Alien prisoners released,
armed and ready for your orders.
599
00:39:00,172 --> 00:39:03,592
SERLEENA: Prisoners of MiB,
the scum of the universe.
600
00:39:04,009 --> 00:39:05,594
Now it's the scum's turn.
601
00:39:05,761 --> 00:39:08,221
I'm in a jam,
so I'll make this simple.
602
00:39:08,638 --> 00:39:12,100
I need the Light of Zartha,
and Kay knows where it is.
603
00:39:12,267 --> 00:39:14,603
Whoever brings Kay to me
gets Earth.
604
00:39:14,770 --> 00:39:18,065
Find a deneuralyzer.
They want his memory back.
605
00:39:18,231 --> 00:39:20,067
Check.
606
00:39:20,734 --> 00:39:22,277
Now.
607
00:39:22,444 --> 00:39:24,446
(♪♪♪)
608
00:39:25,655 --> 00:39:27,616
Jarra, good to see you.
609
00:39:31,620 --> 00:39:33,497
JEEBS:
Okay, that should do it.
610
00:39:33,663 --> 00:39:38,043
If I could have your attention while
we go over the safety procedures.
611
00:39:38,210 --> 00:39:40,754
Keep your hands inside
the vehicle.
612
00:39:40,921 --> 00:39:44,007
If, during the ride,
you become disoriented,
613
00:39:44,174 --> 00:39:46,843
there's nothing we can do about it.
614
00:39:48,303 --> 00:39:50,764
Have you removed all your jewelry?
615
00:39:52,349 --> 00:39:54,768
Are you allergic to shellfish?
Jeebs!
616
00:39:54,935 --> 00:39:57,729
Right, then!
Smoke 'em if you got 'em.
617
00:39:57,896 --> 00:39:59,898
(MACHINE WHIRRING)
618
00:40:04,277 --> 00:40:05,695
Have you used this before?
619
00:40:05,904 --> 00:40:09,658
I used it to make some
hot-air popcorn. That's about it.
620
00:40:09,825 --> 00:40:12,786
Okay! Let's make it happen, cap'n!
621
00:40:15,705 --> 00:40:17,374
(BEEPING)
622
00:40:30,011 --> 00:40:31,847
(♪♪♪)
623
00:40:37,936 --> 00:40:39,855
(ELECTRICITY POWERING DOWN)
624
00:40:40,021 --> 00:40:41,565
(OBJECT CLATTERING)
625
00:40:44,401 --> 00:40:45,861
JEEBS:
Hm.
626
00:40:47,028 --> 00:40:49,448
(MACHINE SPUTTERING)
627
00:40:50,031 --> 00:40:51,908
(♪♪♪)
628
00:41:00,876 --> 00:41:02,711
(GASPS)
629
00:41:03,295 --> 00:41:05,088
(HORN BLOWS)
630
00:41:07,966 --> 00:41:09,384
Perfect.
631
00:41:12,220 --> 00:41:14,222
(♪♪♪)
632
00:41:20,395 --> 00:41:21,771
(WEAPON FIRES)
633
00:41:23,064 --> 00:41:25,150
You're back.
No.
634
00:41:25,317 --> 00:41:26,693
How'd you know
his head grows back?
635
00:41:26,860 --> 00:41:28,528
It grows back?
636
00:41:31,031 --> 00:41:34,910
Real nice. Okay, that's the
last time I help out a friend.
637
00:41:35,827 --> 00:41:37,245
(GRUNTS)
638
00:41:37,412 --> 00:41:39,915
Kay, you remember anything?
Goodbye.
639
00:41:40,081 --> 00:41:41,625
Kay, Wait! Kay!
640
00:41:42,459 --> 00:41:46,004
I never got the updated software.
Still working off the 6.0.
641
00:41:46,171 --> 00:41:48,089
Your brain needs to reboot.
642
00:41:49,341 --> 00:41:50,675
Give it a minute.
643
00:41:50,842 --> 00:41:52,260
Kay!
644
00:41:52,511 --> 00:41:57,766
Bottom of my heart, I'm really sorry.
I hope it won't affect our friendship.
645
00:41:57,933 --> 00:42:02,479
All those years of loyalty and trust,
respect for one another.
646
00:42:04,940 --> 00:42:06,233
Right over there!
647
00:42:07,776 --> 00:42:10,237
Where's Kay?
JEEBS: He's not here! He went...
648
00:42:10,445 --> 00:42:13,782
Kay's retired. I'm his
trigger-happy replacement.
649
00:42:13,949 --> 00:42:17,494
JEEBS: Right in the pie hole. Now
nothing's gonna taste right.
650
00:42:17,661 --> 00:42:20,121
Lower your weapon.
No.
651
00:42:20,622 --> 00:42:22,624
(GRUNTING)
652
00:42:25,627 --> 00:42:28,171
Jay, how are you, boo-boo?
653
00:42:28,338 --> 00:42:31,007
These guys really need Kay.
He's a neutral.
654
00:42:31,174 --> 00:42:34,844
Tell me something we don't know.
Yeah, tell me something... Achoo!
655
00:42:35,011 --> 00:42:36,638
I am so sorry.
656
00:42:36,805 --> 00:42:38,807
God bless you.
Thank you.
657
00:42:40,058 --> 00:42:44,104
If I don't bring Kay back to MiB,
Serleena's gonna kick my ass.
658
00:42:44,271 --> 00:42:46,314
Now, where is he?
Where is who?
659
00:42:46,481 --> 00:42:48,650
You don't look too good.
660
00:42:48,817 --> 00:42:49,818
(GROWLS)
661
00:42:49,985 --> 00:42:51,653
Yeah, and you look like crap.
662
00:42:51,820 --> 00:42:53,697
(ALIENS LAUGHING)
663
00:42:54,489 --> 00:42:57,325
I take that back. He look like crap.
664
00:42:57,492 --> 00:42:59,494
(LAUGHS)
665
00:42:59,953 --> 00:43:01,830
Bend him!
Bend him.
666
00:43:01,997 --> 00:43:03,873
Wait, don't bend him.
667
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:05,500
(GRUNTING)
668
00:43:05,667 --> 00:43:06,668
(BONES CRACK)
669
00:43:07,377 --> 00:43:09,379
(♪♪♪)
670
00:43:13,174 --> 00:43:15,093
(BICYCLE BELL RINGS)
671
00:43:20,015 --> 00:43:21,516
(GROWLING)
672
00:43:25,812 --> 00:43:28,106
HOOKER:
Hey, honey, how you doing?
673
00:43:29,316 --> 00:43:32,193
(♪♪♪)
674
00:43:41,661 --> 00:43:43,455
BUG:
Damn decent of you.
675
00:43:44,039 --> 00:43:45,332
Don't mention it.
676
00:43:45,707 --> 00:43:47,709
(♪♪♪)
677
00:44:04,934 --> 00:44:05,977
(BONES CRACKING
AND JAY SCREAMING)
678
00:44:06,186 --> 00:44:08,980
I'm gonna be sick.
You don't wanna do that.
679
00:44:09,147 --> 00:44:11,941
Fellas, I think he's telling the truth.
Then he's no good to us.
680
00:44:12,108 --> 00:44:13,151
(BONES CRACKING
AND JAY SCREAMING)
681
00:44:13,318 --> 00:44:14,736
(ALIENS GRUNTING)
682
00:44:15,528 --> 00:44:18,531
Didn't I teach you anything, kid?
Pineal eye!
683
00:44:21,076 --> 00:44:22,786
Go for the mosh tendrils!
684
00:44:27,082 --> 00:44:28,833
Kay, he's a ball-chinnian.
Oh.
685
00:44:32,087 --> 00:44:33,088
(GROANS)
686
00:44:33,254 --> 00:44:35,799
You were in a tight spot.
I handled it.
687
00:44:35,965 --> 00:44:38,760
You need a partner.
I had one. Job got too tough.
688
00:44:38,927 --> 00:44:41,262
KAY: I'm back. You got
some dust on your coat.
689
00:44:41,429 --> 00:44:43,306
So you got your memory back.
Yeah.
690
00:44:43,473 --> 00:44:45,934
What the hell is going on?
Don't know.
691
00:44:46,101 --> 00:44:48,603
The Light of Zartha?
Never heard of it.
692
00:44:48,770 --> 00:44:49,771
JAY:
Cool.
693
00:44:52,107 --> 00:44:53,149
(SIGHS)
694
00:44:53,316 --> 00:44:55,443
You don't remember
the Light of Zartha?
695
00:44:55,610 --> 00:44:58,321
Must've neuralyzed myself
to keep it from myself.
696
00:44:58,488 --> 00:45:01,783
Good plan. What you doing?
I do the driving.
697
00:45:01,950 --> 00:45:03,952
Wait, no. Whoa, whoa.
I remember that.
698
00:45:04,119 --> 00:45:08,039
What you remember is you used
to drive that old, busted jawn.
699
00:45:08,206 --> 00:45:11,292
I drive the new hotness.
700
00:45:11,459 --> 00:45:15,088
Old and busted, new hotness.
701
00:45:20,176 --> 00:45:21,386
(REMOTE CHIRPS)
702
00:45:21,553 --> 00:45:23,513
(CAR DOORS OPEN)
703
00:45:24,013 --> 00:45:26,141
JAY:
Old busted hotness.
704
00:45:26,474 --> 00:45:29,185
Serleena, please.
SERLEENA: Been a long time, Zed.
705
00:45:29,352 --> 00:45:32,981
I'm just touched you remembered me.
Makes me fuzzy all over.
706
00:45:33,148 --> 00:45:36,484
Never forget a pretty
whatever you are.
707
00:45:37,318 --> 00:45:39,487
Unh!
Zed?
708
00:45:39,654 --> 00:45:40,655
(MOANS)
709
00:45:40,822 --> 00:45:42,490
Zed? Look at you.
710
00:45:42,657 --> 00:45:45,660
Twenty-five years,
and you're still such a looker.
711
00:45:45,827 --> 00:45:47,537
Cut out the meat and dairy.
712
00:45:47,704 --> 00:45:51,499
And you, still a pile of squirmy
crap in a different wrapper.
713
00:45:51,833 --> 00:45:55,503
So feisty.
Look, we both need the same thing.
714
00:45:58,423 --> 00:45:59,966
Bring him in.
715
00:46:00,633 --> 00:46:01,718
Don't think so.
716
00:46:01,885 --> 00:46:05,847
What about the Light's secret?
If it's not off Earth by midnight,
717
00:46:06,014 --> 00:46:09,476
it self-destructs,
annihilating your little planet.
718
00:46:09,642 --> 00:46:13,521
I lose, you lose.
I win, everything keeps spinning.
719
00:46:13,897 --> 00:46:17,859
You don't want the Light on Earth
any more than I do.
720
00:46:19,110 --> 00:46:20,361
(DIALING)
721
00:46:20,528 --> 00:46:22,197
All right, Serleena.
722
00:46:23,448 --> 00:46:25,033
You win.
723
00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:26,743
(COMMUNICATOR BEEPING)
724
00:46:26,910 --> 00:46:30,246
MICHAEL JACKSON: Zed? Is that you?
I could be Agent Em.
725
00:46:30,622 --> 00:46:32,040
Zed. Hello?
726
00:46:34,542 --> 00:46:37,212
(ZED GRUNTING)
727
00:46:42,550 --> 00:46:44,636
So feisty.
728
00:46:49,098 --> 00:46:52,769
Fastest way back to MiB,
you take this right on 39th.
729
00:46:52,936 --> 00:46:54,521
Right here. Right.
730
00:46:56,689 --> 00:46:58,441
Next right on 37th.
731
00:46:58,608 --> 00:47:01,069
Right here.
Thirty... Thirty... Right!
732
00:47:01,402 --> 00:47:02,987
We're not going back to MiB.
733
00:47:03,154 --> 00:47:08,243
Headquarters has been breached. We
need to peel caps and split wigs.
734
00:47:08,409 --> 00:47:10,036
Not ready.
735
00:47:10,453 --> 00:47:13,915
Look, you've been out for five years.
That's a long time.
736
00:47:14,082 --> 00:47:17,210
I understand you're scared.
I'm a little scared too.
737
00:47:17,377 --> 00:47:19,420
I'm not scared.
Me neither.
738
00:47:20,004 --> 00:47:22,423
I just thought we was bonding.
739
00:47:23,258 --> 00:47:27,345
You're acting like a rookie
. Splitting wigs and stepping on caps.
740
00:47:27,512 --> 00:47:31,599
No wonder Zed brought me back.
He did it because you messed up.
741
00:47:31,766 --> 00:47:34,477
Your attitude makes for
a stressful environment.
742
00:47:34,644 --> 00:47:38,731
Tell it to the hand. Stressful
is what we got back at MiB.
743
00:47:38,898 --> 00:47:43,486
Exactly. Serleena broke into MiB
in order to lure me back.
744
00:47:43,653 --> 00:47:45,738
Into a trap.
745
00:47:45,905 --> 00:47:48,449
Which is why we can't
bust in there.
746
00:47:48,616 --> 00:47:51,619
We need a plan. Where we going?
Scene of the crime?
747
00:47:51,786 --> 00:47:55,999
You're the boss.
Scene of the crime. That's a left.
748
00:47:56,958 --> 00:47:58,293
(♪♪♪)
749
00:47:58,459 --> 00:48:00,962
JAY: I'll contact the witness.
We'll talk to her.
750
00:48:01,129 --> 00:48:04,382
KAY: Things have changed. We
used to neuralyze witnesses.
751
00:48:05,717 --> 00:48:07,468
See, originally, I'd, um...
752
00:48:08,469 --> 00:48:12,974
No, I was going to, uh...
I interrogated her.
753
00:48:13,141 --> 00:48:14,809
KAY: Then neuralyzed her?
JAY: What?
754
00:48:14,976 --> 00:48:20,356
MiB code 773/I-1 clearly states
that all civilian personnel...
755
00:48:21,357 --> 00:48:22,859
Drop that weapon!
No, no, no!
756
00:48:23,026 --> 00:48:24,652
Jay, I'm... I'm sorry.
757
00:48:24,819 --> 00:48:27,906
No, no, I'm fine. It's my fault.
Uh... Uh...
758
00:48:28,072 --> 00:48:30,533
Kay, my partner.
Laura, the witness.
759
00:48:30,700 --> 00:48:31,826
Pleasure.
760
00:48:33,119 --> 00:48:37,707
Thanks for sending those agents over
to keep an eye on me last night.
761
00:48:37,874 --> 00:48:39,876
MiB procedural code 594-B
762
00:48:40,043 --> 00:48:43,212
states that MiB personnel
shall never be used...
763
00:48:43,379 --> 00:48:48,718
Ben, the Zarthan, was vaporized here.
I assume the perp was over here.
764
00:48:48,885 --> 00:48:50,470
Ben.
765
00:48:50,637 --> 00:48:53,473
Was he 5'7", thinning hair?
You knew him?
766
00:48:53,890 --> 00:48:56,142
Nope. Never seen him before
in my life.
767
00:48:56,309 --> 00:48:59,187
That is a hell of a fish.
768
00:49:01,397 --> 00:49:03,191
Wait a minute.
769
00:49:08,363 --> 00:49:09,739
JAY:
You left yourself clues?
770
00:49:09,906 --> 00:49:13,993
In case I was deneuralyzed because
my replacement couldn't handle it.
771
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:18,831
If the joker that had got deneuralyzed
hadn't created the situation...
772
00:49:18,998 --> 00:49:20,333
LAURA:
Boys.
773
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:22,043
(SIGHS)
774
00:49:22,210 --> 00:49:25,129
All right.
You pointing at something.
775
00:49:27,757 --> 00:49:29,133
Okay.
776
00:49:29,300 --> 00:49:30,677
Excuse me.
777
00:49:32,220 --> 00:49:33,346
The astronaut.
778
00:49:35,390 --> 00:49:36,557
Jay?
779
00:49:37,058 --> 00:49:39,352
Okay, all right. He's pointing...
780
00:49:39,519 --> 00:49:41,729
He's like... He like...
781
00:49:44,232 --> 00:49:46,067
Who would stack boxes like this?
782
00:49:46,234 --> 00:49:50,071
A box stacker who's not
stacking boxes. He's leaving clues.
783
00:49:50,238 --> 00:49:51,739
It's an arrow.
784
00:49:55,868 --> 00:49:58,121
KAY: Jay?
You're slowing me down, slick.
785
00:49:58,287 --> 00:50:01,916
Whatever we're looking for
is in these cabinets, right here.
786
00:50:03,334 --> 00:50:06,421
Anchovy filets in virgin olive oil.
787
00:50:09,924 --> 00:50:12,301
I hope I'm not slowing you down.
788
00:50:12,927 --> 00:50:15,555
Good work, partner. Yeah.
789
00:50:15,722 --> 00:50:18,099
We gotta figure out where it goes.
I know where.
790
00:50:18,266 --> 00:50:23,104
Whoa. No. Not yet.
MiB code 773 clearly says...
791
00:50:23,271 --> 00:50:26,441
I know the code,
but she might be important to me.
792
00:50:27,066 --> 00:50:29,569
To us. Well, for help.
To help us later.
793
00:50:30,236 --> 00:50:32,947
Well, she can't stay here.
They'll be back.
794
00:50:35,616 --> 00:50:39,328
You can stay with friends of mine.
People like you?
795
00:50:39,620 --> 00:50:40,621
Kind of.
796
00:50:40,788 --> 00:50:42,373
WORMS:
Jay!
797
00:50:42,540 --> 00:50:45,001
WORM 1: Low bridge!
What's going on, man?
798
00:50:45,168 --> 00:50:47,295
Hey, what's happening, fellas?
MiB is code 101.
799
00:50:47,462 --> 00:50:48,629
(CHATTERING)
800
00:50:49,088 --> 00:50:50,465
Bad.
Very bad.
801
00:50:50,631 --> 00:50:54,677
I need your help. This is Laura.
WORMS: Laura!
802
00:50:54,844 --> 00:50:56,471
Easy, easy!
803
00:50:56,637 --> 00:50:57,680
They're worms.
804
00:50:57,847 --> 00:50:59,974
WORMS: Once you go worm,
that's what you'll yearn.
805
00:51:00,141 --> 00:51:01,142
Yaah.
806
00:51:01,309 --> 00:51:04,645
That's what they say. They just:
I've dated worse.
807
00:51:05,188 --> 00:51:07,815
They're suspended
for stealing from duty-free shop.
808
00:51:07,982 --> 00:51:10,777
We were framed.
Zed's wormophobic.
809
00:51:10,943 --> 00:51:12,236
WORMS: Kay!
NEEBLE: You're back!
810
00:51:12,403 --> 00:51:15,156
SLEEBLE: They said you were dead.
We're double-parked.
811
00:51:15,323 --> 00:51:17,200
Laura's very important to me.
812
00:51:17,909 --> 00:51:21,496
To us. To the stuff... Me and
you, man, the stuff we're doing.
813
00:51:22,663 --> 00:51:25,666
Keep an eye on her.
I'll keep both on her.
814
00:51:25,833 --> 00:51:26,834
No problem!
815
00:51:27,585 --> 00:51:28,878
Hey, hey, hey.
816
00:51:29,045 --> 00:51:31,839
Why don't you sit here?
Like you got a shot.
817
00:51:32,006 --> 00:51:33,174
Hey, shut up!
818
00:51:33,341 --> 00:51:36,177
(SPEAKING IN ALIEN LANGUAGE)
819
00:51:36,344 --> 00:51:39,013
My communicator,
in case you need it.
820
00:51:40,056 --> 00:51:42,517
WORMS:
Ooh. Ha-ha.
821
00:51:42,683 --> 00:51:45,061
GLEEBLE: Nice move.
Okay. Um...
822
00:51:45,228 --> 00:51:46,771
Oh. Uh...
823
00:51:46,938 --> 00:51:50,191
Just watch out for Neeble.
Which one's Neeble?
824
00:51:50,358 --> 00:51:51,776
Um, he's...
825
00:51:53,194 --> 00:51:55,404
Which one of y'all is Neeble?
Yo, mama!
826
00:51:55,571 --> 00:51:59,784
Ah. Him, right there. It's fine.
Everything's straight. It's safe.
827
00:51:59,951 --> 00:52:01,953
Don't fall asleep.
828
00:52:03,704 --> 00:52:05,373
WORMS:
Twister!
829
00:52:05,540 --> 00:52:07,208
(WORMS CHATTERING)
830
00:52:07,375 --> 00:52:12,046
Run over your plan one more time.
I'm struggling with it.
831
00:52:12,213 --> 00:52:16,050
You neuralyzed memory of the
Light but left yourself clues.
832
00:52:16,217 --> 00:52:17,260
Right.
833
00:52:17,426 --> 00:52:22,515
Photo pointing to a key in a pizzeria
which opens a locker at Grand Central.
834
00:52:22,682 --> 00:52:25,810
In the locker, we'll find another clue.
That's the plan.
835
00:52:25,977 --> 00:52:27,311
Ah.
836
00:52:29,188 --> 00:52:32,775
I like to keep my enemies confused.
We all confused, Kay.
837
00:52:32,942 --> 00:52:34,902
(WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
OVER PA)
838
00:52:35,069 --> 00:52:36,612
KAY:
Are you gonna slow me down?
839
00:52:36,779 --> 00:52:39,407
JAY:
Your brain's working on old software.
840
00:52:39,574 --> 00:52:41,784
Why don't you go
grab us some coffee?
841
00:52:41,951 --> 00:52:45,454
Sure. How do you take it? Black?
Couple cubes of kiss my ass?
842
00:52:45,621 --> 00:52:49,041
I don't know what's in there,
so step back.
843
00:52:49,208 --> 00:52:52,670
Kay, for real, man.
Open the damn locker.
844
00:52:53,254 --> 00:52:54,714
(♪♪♪)
845
00:52:57,258 --> 00:52:59,635
ALL:
Kay! He's back! The light giver!
846
00:52:59,802 --> 00:53:02,305
All hail Kay! All hail Kay!
847
00:53:02,680 --> 00:53:06,559
♪ Oh, Kay, can you see
By the dawn's early light ♪
848
00:53:06,726 --> 00:53:09,562
You are the man who would be
king of the train locker.
849
00:53:09,729 --> 00:53:10,771
ALL:
Praise Kay!
850
00:53:10,938 --> 00:53:15,735
Oh, good and gentle townfolk
of Locker C-18,
851
00:53:15,902 --> 00:53:19,447
did I leave anything here?
Yes. The timekeeper.
852
00:53:19,614 --> 00:53:22,283
Left to illuminate our streets
and hearts.
853
00:53:22,450 --> 00:53:26,954
I've been looking everywhere for this.
ALL: Merciful one! The clock tower!
854
00:53:27,121 --> 00:53:29,832
I got y'all, it's cool.
Check this out.
855
00:53:30,124 --> 00:53:33,252
Titanium case.
Waterproof to over 300 meters.
856
00:53:34,003 --> 00:53:36,589
That's banging.
Who are you, stranger?
857
00:53:37,006 --> 00:53:38,633
Jay.
ALL: Hmm.
858
00:53:39,050 --> 00:53:41,260
All hail Jay!
All hail Jay!
859
00:53:41,677 --> 00:53:43,721
♪ Oh, Jay, can you see ♪ ♪
860
00:53:43,888 --> 00:53:46,974
Oh, merciful Jay, the keeper of...
Come on.
861
00:53:47,475 --> 00:53:49,644
ALIEN 1: Wait! The commandments!
ALIEN 2: The tablet!
862
00:53:49,810 --> 00:53:52,855
ALL: The tablet! The tablet!
The tablet! The tablet!
863
00:53:53,022 --> 00:53:57,068
ALIEN 3: We have lived by its word, and
peace has reigned throughout our world.
864
00:53:57,235 --> 00:54:00,655
Pass it on to others! So that they too
may be enlightened!
865
00:54:00,821 --> 00:54:02,490
ALL:
Be kind! Rewind!
866
00:54:02,657 --> 00:54:04,492
ALIEN 3:
Reconcile your past,
867
00:54:04,909 --> 00:54:07,328
in order to move tranquilly
into your future!
868
00:54:07,495 --> 00:54:09,830
ALL:
Two for one every Wednesday.
869
00:54:09,997 --> 00:54:13,376
Give twice as much as ye receive
on our most sacred of days.
870
00:54:13,668 --> 00:54:14,710
Every Wednesday.
871
00:54:14,877 --> 00:54:18,005
ALL: Large adult entertainment
section in the back.
872
00:54:18,172 --> 00:54:20,925
(ALL CHATTERING)
873
00:54:22,093 --> 00:54:23,678
That's just nasty.
874
00:54:24,512 --> 00:54:26,764
What's with the video card?
Don't know.
875
00:54:26,931 --> 00:54:28,432
The watch?
A reminder.
876
00:54:28,599 --> 00:54:29,976
Of what?
Can't remember.
877
00:54:30,142 --> 00:54:31,185
Guess.
878
00:54:31,352 --> 00:54:35,106
I guess we have till midnight,
that's 59 minutes to figure it out.
879
00:54:37,525 --> 00:54:41,654
JAY: Look. Here's an idea. Let's
stop chasing butt-backwards clues,
880
00:54:41,821 --> 00:54:45,992
get a couple fission carbonizers
and get our headquarters back.
881
00:54:46,158 --> 00:54:48,327
It's all about to make sense, kid.
882
00:54:48,494 --> 00:54:50,246
Is this card valid?
883
00:54:51,872 --> 00:54:55,710
This card hasn't been used in years.
KAY: I've been away on business.
884
00:54:55,876 --> 00:54:58,212
Billions of frequent flier miles.
CLERK: Try and use them.
885
00:54:58,379 --> 00:55:02,425
I wanted to go to Cambodia. You can
get a lobster dinner for a dollar.
886
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:08,139
The airlines black out holidays.
It's a conspiracy, I'm sure, I mean...
887
00:55:08,306 --> 00:55:11,017
Can you tell us anything
about the account?
888
00:55:11,392 --> 00:55:13,352
You never checked out a tape.
889
00:55:13,519 --> 00:55:16,272
You reserved one once,
but you never picked it up.
890
00:55:16,439 --> 00:55:17,565
(DOOR OPENS)
891
00:55:17,732 --> 00:55:19,817
Newton.
There's a rat in the toilet.
892
00:55:19,984 --> 00:55:24,238
It's all stopped up. You're
gonna have to pee in the sin...
893
00:55:27,450 --> 00:55:30,411
Still think I'm paranoid?
Yeah.
894
00:55:31,203 --> 00:55:36,667
Gentlemen, my name is Newton. I run the place.
Seen any aliens lately?
895
00:55:36,834 --> 00:55:41,088
You need professional help.
He's getting it. It's not working.
896
00:55:41,255 --> 00:55:43,466
Okay, so, new case, huh?
897
00:55:43,632 --> 00:55:46,093
Episode 27, Light of Zartha.
898
00:55:47,595 --> 00:55:48,929
Got it.
899
00:55:49,555 --> 00:55:53,309
Jarra, it's a sin they've kept
a genius like you locked away.
900
00:55:53,476 --> 00:55:57,438
Their agent Jay caught me siphoning
ozone to sell on the black market.
901
00:55:57,605 --> 00:55:59,565
They're touchy
about global warming.
902
00:55:59,732 --> 00:56:03,277
I need a spacecraft that can travel
300 times the speed of light.
903
00:56:03,444 --> 00:56:05,446
I'll give you
whatever you want.
904
00:56:05,613 --> 00:56:08,115
Give me Jay. We'll call it even.
Groovy.
905
00:56:08,908 --> 00:56:11,369
You've got till midnight.
906
00:56:11,535 --> 00:56:13,537
(♪♪♪)
907
00:56:15,539 --> 00:56:19,126
Gatbot, I got a little
something special for you.
908
00:56:19,293 --> 00:56:21,295
(BEEPING)
909
00:56:23,631 --> 00:56:26,425
MOM:
Newton? Newton, is that you?
910
00:56:26,592 --> 00:56:29,095
Yes, Mom, I'm up here
with some friends.
911
00:56:29,261 --> 00:56:30,846
I wanna have your baby.
912
00:56:31,013 --> 00:56:33,140
MOM:
Would you like some mini-pizza?
913
00:56:34,058 --> 00:56:37,144
You guys want some mini-pizzas?
They're good.
914
00:56:37,311 --> 00:56:40,523
They're like mini-bagels,
with pizza stuff on them.
915
00:56:40,689 --> 00:56:43,484
She'll put
a little fontina cheese on.
916
00:56:43,651 --> 00:56:47,655
She has palsy, so she ends
up putting a lot of cheese on.
917
00:56:52,284 --> 00:56:54,412
No, thanks, we're cool.
918
00:56:54,578 --> 00:56:55,830
All right.
919
00:56:57,581 --> 00:56:58,958
Over here.
920
00:57:03,629 --> 00:57:05,089
This is it.
JAY: Hm.
921
00:57:05,256 --> 00:57:07,550
Finally some hard evidence.
922
00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:11,512
Gentlemen, before I play the tape,
one question:
923
00:57:12,096 --> 00:57:13,848
What's up with anal probing?
924
00:57:14,014 --> 00:57:17,935
Aliens travel billions of light
years just to check out our...
925
00:57:18,102 --> 00:57:20,354
Boy, move.
926
00:57:20,521 --> 00:57:23,441
Okay. Just a question.
927
00:57:24,483 --> 00:57:28,028
PETER (OVER TV): Here is one of
their stories that "never happened"
928
00:57:28,195 --> 00:57:31,449
from one of their files
that doesn't exist.
929
00:57:31,615 --> 00:57:33,325
(♪♪♪)
930
00:57:33,492 --> 00:57:38,497
1978. Devastating war of Zartha
had raged on for 50 years.
931
00:57:38,664 --> 00:57:40,416
Hm, looks like Spielberg's work.
932
00:57:40,583 --> 00:57:44,503
But the Zarthans had
a great treasure, the Light of Zartha.
933
00:57:44,670 --> 00:57:48,048
PETER & NEWTON: A source of
power so awesome, it alone
934
00:57:48,215 --> 00:57:51,802
could mean victory and restoration
for the Zarthans
935
00:57:51,969 --> 00:57:56,390
or complete annihilation, if it
fell into the hands of the Kylothians.
936
00:57:56,557 --> 00:57:58,726
PETER: A group of Zarthans
made the journey,
937
00:57:58,893 --> 00:58:00,686
led by the Keeper of the Light...
938
00:58:00,853 --> 00:58:02,313
Lauranna.
939
00:58:02,730 --> 00:58:04,857
Princess Lauranna.
940
00:58:05,149 --> 00:58:09,737
Lauranna beseeched the Men in Black
to help her hide the Light on Earth.
941
00:58:09,904 --> 00:58:12,239
But they could not intervene.
942
00:58:12,406 --> 00:58:13,657
No.
943
00:58:14,366 --> 00:58:15,493
It was night.
944
00:58:15,743 --> 00:58:17,536
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
945
00:58:17,703 --> 00:58:19,121
And it was raining.
946
00:58:19,747 --> 00:58:21,207
SERLEENA:
You've been very wise.
947
00:58:21,373 --> 00:58:25,920
LAURANNA: Kay, please. If Serleena takes
the Light, it's the end of our world.
948
00:58:26,587 --> 00:58:29,924
KAY: If we extend protection
for the Light beyond Earth,
949
00:58:30,090 --> 00:58:33,427
we put Earth in jeopardy.
We must remain neutral.
950
00:58:33,594 --> 00:58:36,180
SERLEENA: Where is it?
KAY: We're neutral, remember?
951
00:58:36,388 --> 00:58:38,599
If you want it, go get it.
952
00:58:42,811 --> 00:58:44,313
SERLEENA:
No!
953
00:58:47,608 --> 00:58:49,318
(WEAPON FIRING)
954
00:58:57,326 --> 00:58:59,328
(♪♪♪)
955
00:59:13,467 --> 00:59:15,761
PETER: And so never knowing it happened,
956
00:59:15,928 --> 00:59:18,847
the people of Earth
were once again saved
957
00:59:19,014 --> 00:59:21,141
by a secret society of protectors...
958
00:59:21,308 --> 00:59:22,643
(TURNS TV OFF)
959
00:59:23,269 --> 00:59:24,937
I shouldn't have.
960
00:59:25,896 --> 00:59:28,315
JAY:
You never sent it off the planet.
961
00:59:29,441 --> 00:59:30,859
You hid it here.
962
00:59:32,861 --> 00:59:34,280
The worm guys.
963
00:59:38,450 --> 00:59:41,245
MOM: Are you one of Newton's
friends from therapy?
964
00:59:41,412 --> 00:59:43,289
KAY: Yes, ma'am, I am.
Look here, please.
965
00:59:43,455 --> 00:59:44,623
MOM:
Would you like some mini-pizz...?
966
00:59:44,790 --> 00:59:46,125
(NEURALYZER ZAPS)
967
00:59:46,792 --> 00:59:47,835
A neuralyz...
968
00:59:48,002 --> 00:59:49,295
(NEURALYZER ZAPS)
969
00:59:49,587 --> 00:59:53,173
Okay, first, get some contact lenses.
970
00:59:53,340 --> 00:59:55,634
Joints look like they pick up cable.
971
00:59:55,801 --> 01:00:00,389
Second, take her to Cambodia. Get
her lobster. Pay more than a dollar.
972
01:00:00,556 --> 01:00:03,851
Third, the second y'all get back
from Cambodia,
973
01:00:04,018 --> 01:00:07,062
move your bum ass
out of your mom's house.
974
01:00:07,229 --> 01:00:09,648
KAY: Let's go.
JAY: Boy, you like 40 years old.
975
01:00:09,815 --> 01:00:12,109
KAY: Agent Jay?
All right, all right.
976
01:00:12,276 --> 01:00:16,280
Oh. And there ain't no such thing
as aliens or Men in Black.
977
01:00:22,494 --> 01:00:25,706
You wanna go to Cambodia?
Yeah.
978
01:00:27,833 --> 01:00:29,209
Hey, Mom?
979
01:00:29,835 --> 01:00:31,462
Communicator, Jay.
980
01:00:31,629 --> 01:00:32,671
(COMMUNICATOR BEEPS)
981
01:00:32,838 --> 01:00:35,591
Laura, it's me.
Jay, we're playing Twister.
982
01:00:35,758 --> 01:00:37,551
WORMS:
What's up, Jay?
983
01:00:37,718 --> 01:00:41,013
Quit touching my butt!
I thought it was your face.
984
01:00:41,180 --> 01:00:44,224
They're good at this.
They don't have spines.
985
01:00:44,391 --> 01:00:47,353
Oh. They were telling me about
Oprah, from Chicago.
986
01:00:47,519 --> 01:00:51,065
WORMS:
Maybe landed in Chicago. Ha-ha-ha.
987
01:00:51,398 --> 01:00:53,901
Are you wearing a bracelet?
LAURA: Yeah.
988
01:00:54,068 --> 01:00:55,152
Is it glowing?
989
01:01:00,240 --> 01:01:03,243
It's never done that before.
We're on our way.
990
01:01:03,410 --> 01:01:04,953
Communicator, Frank.
991
01:01:05,245 --> 01:01:07,748
JAY (ON RADIO): Frank, get down to Level C.
Deactivate lockdown.
992
01:01:07,915 --> 01:01:10,793
We're headed to the worm guys.
We found the Light.
993
01:01:10,959 --> 01:01:12,378
(IN FRANK'S VOICE) Got it, Jay.
994
01:01:12,544 --> 01:01:13,712
(IN NORMAL VOICE) Scrad?
995
01:01:13,879 --> 01:01:15,005
Bitch.
996
01:01:15,172 --> 01:01:17,091
Why didn't you say I love you?
997
01:01:17,257 --> 01:01:21,887
He's a dog. I don't even like him.
No, the girl. You're sweet on her.
998
01:01:22,054 --> 01:01:25,224
That's why you didn't neuralyze her.
You got emotionally involved.
999
01:01:25,391 --> 01:01:29,895
Like you did with Lauranna?
I put the entire planet in danger.
1000
01:01:30,062 --> 01:01:33,315
I don't want to see you
making my mistakes.
1001
01:01:33,482 --> 01:01:35,067
Whatever, man.
1002
01:01:35,234 --> 01:01:37,236
(♪♪♪)
1003
01:01:39,446 --> 01:01:40,656
Laura?
1004
01:01:42,032 --> 01:01:44,451
(WORMS MOANING)
1005
01:01:44,952 --> 01:01:46,286
Oi.
1006
01:01:47,621 --> 01:01:48,664
Damn!
1007
01:01:48,831 --> 01:01:51,083
(GRUNTING)
1008
01:01:51,792 --> 01:01:53,377
(NEEBLE SPEAKING
IN ALIEN LANGUAGE)
1009
01:01:53,544 --> 01:01:55,045
Never stood half a chance.
1010
01:01:56,296 --> 01:01:57,381
Oh, boy.
1011
01:01:57,840 --> 01:01:59,758
Unh. That's gonna leave a scar.
1012
01:01:59,925 --> 01:02:01,760
(NEEBLE SPEAKING
IN ALIEN LANGUAGE)
1013
01:02:01,927 --> 01:02:02,970
Where's Laura?
1014
01:02:03,137 --> 01:02:05,472
MiB headquarters.
Some dumb two-headed guy.
1015
01:02:05,639 --> 01:02:07,057
They got the bracelet.
1016
01:02:07,224 --> 01:02:09,977
We got 39 minutes.
You guys, um,
1017
01:02:10,144 --> 01:02:12,312
pull yourselves together.
1018
01:02:13,063 --> 01:02:14,148
Damn.
1019
01:02:15,524 --> 01:02:17,609
Oh, that's feeling better.
1020
01:02:17,776 --> 01:02:20,487
SLEEBLE: Hey, guys, wait up!
GLEEBLE: Let me grab my drink!
1021
01:02:20,654 --> 01:02:22,698
Serleena has the bracelet.
Why take Laura?
1022
01:02:22,865 --> 01:02:24,032
She also wants me.
1023
01:02:24,199 --> 01:02:27,494
What's the book say?
We're off book. I say split some wigs.
1024
01:02:27,661 --> 01:02:29,913
We need wig-splitting weapons.
Got them.
1025
01:02:30,080 --> 01:02:32,040
(♪♪♪)
1026
01:02:35,210 --> 01:02:38,505
Ah. Paw Paw's coming to visit me.
Hello, Paw Paw.
1027
01:02:38,672 --> 01:02:41,675
Paw Paw and ZuZu love to see
what's going on in the garden.
1028
01:02:41,842 --> 01:02:46,263
Don't worry, folks. I used to live
here. Came to pick up a few things.
1029
01:02:50,309 --> 01:02:51,810
MANNIX:
Nice place.
1030
01:02:54,480 --> 01:02:55,522
Hoo-ah.
1031
01:02:56,690 --> 01:02:57,858
Hoo-eeh.
1032
01:02:59,860 --> 01:03:01,195
Yah!
1033
01:03:04,281 --> 01:03:05,532
See you.
1034
01:03:15,375 --> 01:03:18,170
KAY: You did not see a room
full of weapons or four aliens.
1035
01:03:18,337 --> 01:03:21,048
You will cherish and love each
other for the rest of your lives.
1036
01:03:21,215 --> 01:03:25,219
Which could be the next 28 minutes,
so get to loving and cherishing.
1037
01:03:25,385 --> 01:03:28,055
Oh. And she can stay up
as late as she want
1038
01:03:28,222 --> 01:03:30,849
and have cookies
and candy and stuff.
1039
01:03:31,058 --> 01:03:33,060
(♪♪♪)
1040
01:03:41,735 --> 01:03:43,904
COMPUTER:
Four minutes to launch.
1041
01:03:44,071 --> 01:03:46,031
Four minutes to launch.
1042
01:03:46,740 --> 01:03:50,744
Your ship is ready.
Good. Send it to Kyloth now.
1043
01:03:54,122 --> 01:03:55,374
Ready, guys?
1044
01:03:55,541 --> 01:03:57,751
Lock and load, baby.
1045
01:03:57,918 --> 01:03:59,586
You ready, kid?
Kid?
1046
01:03:59,753 --> 01:04:02,756
I saved the world
from a Kreelon invasion.
1047
01:04:02,923 --> 01:04:07,094
They're the Backstreet Boys of the universe.
They throw snowballs?
1048
01:04:07,886 --> 01:04:09,346
Know what you're doing?
1049
01:04:09,513 --> 01:04:12,516
I'm about to attack one
of the most feared aliens
1050
01:04:12,683 --> 01:04:15,936
with four worms and a mailman.
Let's make it hot.
1051
01:04:16,103 --> 01:04:17,396
No, no, wait!
1052
01:04:19,147 --> 01:04:20,649
(ALL SCREAMING)
1053
01:04:23,151 --> 01:04:25,445
A code 101 lockdown!
1054
01:04:25,612 --> 01:04:29,658
The building gets pressurized.
Nothing in, nothing out. I knew that.
1055
01:04:29,825 --> 01:04:31,869
Yeah, you knew.
Front and center, worms!
1056
01:04:32,035 --> 01:04:33,328
NEEBLE:
You got it.
1057
01:04:39,960 --> 01:04:45,465
It's about time you guys got here.
That lady is causing all kinds of hell.
1058
01:04:45,841 --> 01:04:47,509
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
1059
01:04:49,177 --> 01:04:51,179
(♪♪♪)
1060
01:05:05,819 --> 01:05:09,072
Yummy. Someone I need to eat.
1061
01:05:09,281 --> 01:05:12,951
Get to the launch pad. The bracelet
shows the departure point.
1062
01:05:13,118 --> 01:05:15,370
Do not come back for me.
What do you mean?
1063
01:05:15,537 --> 01:05:18,248
Do not come back for me.
1064
01:05:22,502 --> 01:05:24,671
Worm guys,
give me some cover fire.
1065
01:05:24,838 --> 01:05:26,590
SLEEBLE:
Too scared, can't move.
1066
01:05:26,757 --> 01:05:28,050
(SIGHS)
1067
01:05:33,513 --> 01:05:35,515
(ALL WHIMPERING)
1068
01:05:36,266 --> 01:05:37,476
Go!
1069
01:05:43,857 --> 01:05:45,567
(GUNS CLICKING)
1070
01:05:48,195 --> 01:05:51,114
Limber.
Go to subcontrol panel 7-R-Delta.
1071
01:05:51,281 --> 01:05:56,787
Shut off power so they can't take off.
Can't. Too scared.
1072
01:05:57,746 --> 01:06:00,374
Oh, that way.
Away from the bullets.
1073
01:06:00,540 --> 01:06:02,167
No problem. Hoo-ah.
1074
01:06:02,584 --> 01:06:04,002
(GRUNTING)
1075
01:06:04,169 --> 01:06:05,587
Alley-oop.
1076
01:06:05,754 --> 01:06:06,880
(♪♪♪)
1077
01:06:10,592 --> 01:06:11,635
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
1078
01:06:14,596 --> 01:06:15,931
(EXPLOSION)
1079
01:06:16,807 --> 01:06:18,725
Nice to see you again, Kay.
1080
01:06:22,980 --> 01:06:25,023
COMPUTER: 3 minutes to launch.
Jay!
1081
01:06:25,190 --> 01:06:27,401
Three minutes to launch.
1082
01:06:27,901 --> 01:06:29,361
Hello, Jay. Long time.
1083
01:06:29,528 --> 01:06:32,030
Jarra! What's up, man?
You look great.
1084
01:06:32,197 --> 01:06:34,825
What's it been? Five years?
And 42 days.
1085
01:06:34,992 --> 01:06:37,494
You count every one
when you're locked away.
1086
01:06:37,661 --> 01:06:41,748
You shouldn't have tried to steal
our ozone. Be there in one minute.
1087
01:06:42,874 --> 01:06:45,460
Over our dead titanium bodies!
1088
01:06:45,627 --> 01:06:47,087
Two minutes.
1089
01:06:47,254 --> 01:06:49,464
(LITTLE JARRAS YELLING)
1090
01:06:51,133 --> 01:06:52,759
(LITTLE JARRA LAUGHING)
1091
01:06:53,760 --> 01:06:55,595
Uh, let's play this one by ear.
1092
01:06:55,846 --> 01:06:57,347
(LITTLE JARRA YELLING)
1093
01:06:58,390 --> 01:07:02,602
I should have vaporized you before.
You really did love Lauranna.
1094
01:07:02,769 --> 01:07:04,646
Didn't you, Kay?
1095
01:07:04,938 --> 01:07:06,982
You silly little man.
1096
01:07:07,149 --> 01:07:09,151
(♪♪♪)
1097
01:07:15,323 --> 01:07:17,325
(LITTLE JARRAS YELLING)
1098
01:07:20,746 --> 01:07:22,622
(LITTLE JARRAS LAUGHING)
1099
01:07:25,500 --> 01:07:28,045
Unh! Aah!
Ha-ha.
1100
01:07:30,589 --> 01:07:33,884
Ow! Aah!
1101
01:07:35,218 --> 01:07:37,304
COMPUTER:
Two minutes to launch.
1102
01:07:39,222 --> 01:07:40,640
Just go, I'll be fine!
1103
01:07:41,475 --> 01:07:43,977
What you talking about?
I'm winning.
1104
01:07:44,144 --> 01:07:48,148
Jarra, you are under arrest
for being that ugly,
1105
01:07:48,315 --> 01:07:51,151
and for making that many copies.
Surrender!
1106
01:07:51,318 --> 01:07:52,360
I want him in pieces.
1107
01:07:52,527 --> 01:07:53,653
(LITTLE JARRAS YELLING)
1108
01:07:53,820 --> 01:07:55,655
Aah! Whoo!
1109
01:07:55,864 --> 01:07:58,200
Jarra Jr. is going, going,
1110
01:07:58,867 --> 01:08:00,660
gone!
1111
01:08:03,371 --> 01:08:05,373
(LITTLE JARRA SQUEALS)
1112
01:08:07,834 --> 01:08:08,835
(JAY SCREAMS)
1113
01:08:13,340 --> 01:08:15,092
MANNIX: Rectum.
NEEBLE: Damn near killed him!
1114
01:08:15,258 --> 01:08:16,301
(ALL LAUGHING)
1115
01:08:16,468 --> 01:08:17,844
MANNIX:
Never get tired of that one.
1116
01:08:18,011 --> 01:08:19,429
SLEEBLE:
Where do we shut off the power?
1117
01:08:19,596 --> 01:08:20,680
GLEEBLE:
I don't know.
1118
01:08:20,847 --> 01:08:22,516
(BOTH SCREAMING)
1119
01:08:26,686 --> 01:08:30,607
JAY: I'm fine. I'll be there in a minute.
JARRA: No, he won't.
1120
01:08:31,358 --> 01:08:32,400
(YELLING)
1121
01:08:35,821 --> 01:08:38,156
Uh-huh. Down to one now, Jarra!
1122
01:08:38,323 --> 01:08:39,407
(YELLING)
1123
01:08:42,786 --> 01:08:43,787
(BOTH SCREAM)
1124
01:08:48,416 --> 01:08:50,794
COMPUTER:
Thirty seconds to launch.
1125
01:08:55,382 --> 01:08:56,883
(GRUNTING)
1126
01:08:58,885 --> 01:09:01,263
Fifteen seconds to launch.
1127
01:09:04,182 --> 01:09:06,309
Ten seconds to launch.
1128
01:09:06,601 --> 01:09:07,853
Eight.
1129
01:09:08,019 --> 01:09:09,354
Seven.
1130
01:09:09,521 --> 01:09:10,897
Six.
1131
01:09:11,064 --> 01:09:12,399
Five.
1132
01:09:12,566 --> 01:09:13,692
Four.
1133
01:09:13,859 --> 01:09:15,861
Three. Two.
1134
01:09:16,027 --> 01:09:17,571
(BEEPING)
1135
01:09:17,737 --> 01:09:19,698
Launch terminated.
1136
01:09:20,157 --> 01:09:23,618
What did you mean, leave you?
Well, he took your gun.
1137
01:09:23,785 --> 01:09:26,621
Cracked your head.
Slammed you across the room.
1138
01:09:26,788 --> 01:09:30,876
Half the time you were on your back.
Look, that's how I fight.
1139
01:09:31,585 --> 01:09:34,045
You've lost, you insignificant speck.
1140
01:09:34,212 --> 01:09:37,257
You've wasted 25 years
of my time, and for what?
1141
01:09:37,507 --> 01:09:41,553
The total annihilation of Zartha.
All because you went mushy.
1142
01:09:41,720 --> 01:09:45,932
I'll give you one last chance to
surrender, you slimy invertebrate.
1143
01:09:46,099 --> 01:09:49,686
What are you gonna do to stop me?
Not me. Him.
1144
01:09:49,853 --> 01:09:51,563
(WEAPON WHIRRING)
1145
01:09:51,730 --> 01:09:54,024
Your flight's been canceled.
1146
01:09:58,403 --> 01:10:00,572
(SCREAMING, THEN GRUNTS)
1147
01:10:00,739 --> 01:10:05,160
Shut down power. Shut down power.
Buttons, buttons. I'm guessing, uh...
1148
01:10:05,327 --> 01:10:06,453
Yeah.
1149
01:10:08,538 --> 01:10:10,790
Worms!
MANNIX: Sorry.
1150
01:10:11,124 --> 01:10:13,126
(♪♪♪)
1151
01:10:15,879 --> 01:10:18,548
Give me the bracelet.
I'm going with you.
1152
01:10:18,715 --> 01:10:21,426
Everybody in the car.
Everybody.
1153
01:10:23,470 --> 01:10:25,472
(♪♪♪)
1154
01:10:28,225 --> 01:10:29,976
(GROWLING)
1155
01:10:34,606 --> 01:10:37,484
This bracelet is what
everybody's been after?
1156
01:10:37,651 --> 01:10:39,361
It's often something small.
1157
01:10:39,527 --> 01:10:42,489
It's not the Light.
It tells us the departure point.
1158
01:10:42,656 --> 01:10:45,575
JAY: What?
If we don't get there in 11 minutes,
1159
01:10:45,742 --> 01:10:48,828
that bracelet will go nuclear
and destroy Earth.
1160
01:10:48,995 --> 01:10:50,455
What?!
1161
01:10:51,039 --> 01:10:52,666
Hello.
Oh.
1162
01:10:53,083 --> 01:10:55,168
Wait, Kay, no.
I know what I'm doing.
1163
01:11:01,049 --> 01:11:02,092
(JAY SCREAMING)
1164
01:11:10,100 --> 01:11:11,142
Damn.
1165
01:11:12,811 --> 01:11:16,022
Modified to hyper-speed!
Seat belts.
1166
01:11:16,314 --> 01:11:18,775
(NEURALYZER ZAPPING)
1167
01:11:19,401 --> 01:11:20,443
KAY:
What's that?
1168
01:11:20,610 --> 01:11:23,363
At hyper-speed, you have
to use the navigational stalk.
1169
01:11:24,197 --> 01:11:26,366
(JAY & LAURA SCREAMING)
1170
01:11:28,285 --> 01:11:32,539
JAY: Toggle switches for the ailerons
. Joysticks for the stabilizer and rudder.
1171
01:11:32,706 --> 01:11:34,124
Okay.
1172
01:11:34,332 --> 01:11:36,751
(LAURA YELLING)
1173
01:11:37,585 --> 01:11:38,670
I just want you to know...
1174
01:11:38,837 --> 01:11:39,879
(PHASER HITTING)
1175
01:11:40,046 --> 01:11:41,881
Hold on to that for one second.
1176
01:11:42,841 --> 01:11:44,342
(PHASER HITTING)
1177
01:11:45,468 --> 01:11:47,137
Computer, worms.
1178
01:11:47,304 --> 01:11:54,019
I said, "Bitch, if you don't want me to kick your
skinny Zone Diet ass, turn around and exit the planet."
1179
01:11:54,185 --> 01:11:56,354
JAY (OVER PA):
Frank, where are you?
1180
01:11:56,521 --> 01:11:57,981
Main hall, egg display.
1181
01:11:58,148 --> 01:12:01,026
We're taking fire.
Kay pushed the red button.
1182
01:12:01,192 --> 01:12:04,112
Computer at MiB can destroy
bogey. I'll walk you through it.
1183
01:12:04,279 --> 01:12:05,905
(PHASER HITS
AND LAURA SCREAMS)
1184
01:12:06,072 --> 01:12:07,282
(ALL SPEAK IN ALIEN LANGUAGE)
1185
01:12:07,449 --> 01:12:11,995
Jay? Frank. You were the best darn
partner a Remoolian could ever have.
1186
01:12:12,787 --> 01:12:14,080
Godspeed.
1187
01:12:14,539 --> 01:12:15,582
(LINE DISCONNECTS)
1188
01:12:15,749 --> 01:12:20,253
Frank? Frank?
Okay, here we go, automatic pilot.
1189
01:12:22,505 --> 01:12:25,842
It is not automatic piloting.
He doesn't operate at hyper-speed.
1190
01:12:26,009 --> 01:12:30,263
I could use a steering wheel here!
This is what we got.
1191
01:12:32,057 --> 01:12:34,976
Didn't you ever have a Game Boy?
What is a Game Boy?
1192
01:12:35,143 --> 01:12:37,437
You know what? Move. Move.
Okay.
1193
01:12:38,021 --> 01:12:40,357
JAY: Oh! Hey, that is not
the navigational stalk!
1194
01:12:40,523 --> 01:12:43,318
(JAY & KAY GRUNTING)
1195
01:12:50,325 --> 01:12:51,451
(PHASER HITTING)
1196
01:12:52,327 --> 01:12:54,329
Okay, straight down.
1197
01:12:54,746 --> 01:12:56,498
(KAY GRUNTING)
1198
01:12:59,042 --> 01:13:00,460
Idiots.
1199
01:13:07,717 --> 01:13:08,968
(PHASER HITTING)
1200
01:13:10,512 --> 01:13:11,805
Subway may not be the best place
1201
01:13:11,971 --> 01:13:13,264
to lose her.
Shh.
1202
01:13:15,683 --> 01:13:17,143
Where is he?
He?
1203
01:13:17,560 --> 01:13:18,853
JAY:
Jeff. Hang on!
1204
01:13:21,147 --> 01:13:22,524
Oops.
1205
01:13:23,358 --> 01:13:24,484
Teeth.
1206
01:13:30,532 --> 01:13:32,617
(JEFF BELCHES)
1207
01:13:41,876 --> 01:13:43,878
(♪♪♪)
1208
01:13:57,016 --> 01:13:58,268
(REMOTE CONTROL CHIRPS)
1209
01:13:58,435 --> 01:14:01,438
Running out of time, Kay.
Where is the Light?
1210
01:14:02,647 --> 01:14:04,149
Right here.
1211
01:14:05,150 --> 01:14:07,360
What?
What, I'm the Light?
1212
01:14:08,278 --> 01:14:10,864
No. No way.
You have a planet to save.
1213
01:14:11,030 --> 01:14:13,533
You're mistaken. I work at a pizzeria.
1214
01:14:13,700 --> 01:14:17,662
Two days ago, I was running a post
office. You are who you are.
1215
01:14:17,829 --> 01:14:20,915
Laura, you are the Light.
1216
01:14:21,082 --> 01:14:24,836
The leader of your people.
Their spirit and their hope.
1217
01:14:25,003 --> 01:14:27,714
The power is within you
to save a planet.
1218
01:14:27,881 --> 01:14:32,177
I protected you until it was
your time. Your time is now.
1219
01:14:32,343 --> 01:14:34,137
(KAY TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
1220
01:14:36,639 --> 01:14:40,393
KAY: You will save a world. You
know things before they happen.
1221
01:14:40,560 --> 01:14:42,687
I'm a Libra.
You're Zarthan.
1222
01:14:42,854 --> 01:14:47,066
When you get sad, it rains.
Lots of people get sad when it rains.
1223
01:14:47,400 --> 01:14:50,069
It rains because you're sad, baby.
1224
01:14:51,571 --> 01:14:53,698
(♪♪♪)
1225
01:15:43,289 --> 01:15:44,916
It's not fair.
1226
01:15:50,797 --> 01:15:52,465
Never is.
1227
01:15:54,217 --> 01:15:55,843
We are who we are,
1228
01:15:56,010 --> 01:15:58,513
even if we sometimes forget.
1229
01:16:06,271 --> 01:16:07,772
(ROARING)
1230
01:16:07,939 --> 01:16:10,483
Jeff, I am so not
in the mood for you!
1231
01:16:10,650 --> 01:16:12,402
Get back in the subway!
Now!
1232
01:16:18,950 --> 01:16:20,201
That's not good.
1233
01:16:20,660 --> 01:16:21,703
(ROARS)
1234
01:16:22,078 --> 01:16:24,747
Wait! No! Aah!
1235
01:16:25,039 --> 01:16:26,374
LAURA:
Jay!
1236
01:16:27,000 --> 01:16:31,421
I cannot emphasize enough how much
we need you on that transport.
1237
01:16:31,588 --> 01:16:32,672
(SERLEENA SCREAMS)
1238
01:16:32,839 --> 01:16:35,133
JAY:
Laura! You have to go!
1239
01:16:35,550 --> 01:16:36,926
Oh, jeez.
1240
01:16:38,970 --> 01:16:41,764
Go. He's fine.
He does this all the time.
1241
01:16:42,849 --> 01:16:44,100
Nope!
1242
01:16:45,059 --> 01:16:46,311
(GRUNTING)
1243
01:16:46,477 --> 01:16:49,355
About to lay the smackdown
on your candy ass.
1244
01:16:49,772 --> 01:16:52,108
Laura! It's your destiny!
1245
01:16:52,358 --> 01:16:54,277
I was talking, Kay! Aah!
1246
01:16:55,778 --> 01:16:57,947
Hey! No biting.
1247
01:16:59,699 --> 01:17:02,076
If you don't go, we all die.
1248
01:17:02,243 --> 01:17:03,786
(JAY SCREAMING)
1249
01:17:03,953 --> 01:17:05,121
(JAY GRUNTS)
1250
01:17:05,288 --> 01:17:07,874
You're just as beautiful
as your mother.
1251
01:17:10,585 --> 01:17:12,754
(JAY GRUNTING)
1252
01:17:14,547 --> 01:17:16,382
JAY:
Kay? A little help?
1253
01:17:16,549 --> 01:17:18,676
(SERLEENA ROARS)
1254
01:17:29,228 --> 01:17:30,355
JAY:
Kay?
1255
01:17:32,190 --> 01:17:34,734
Might I suggest a bigger gun?
1256
01:17:38,571 --> 01:17:40,573
(SERLEENA ROARING
AND JAY SCREAMING)
1257
01:17:44,160 --> 01:17:46,579
(♪♪♪)
1258
01:17:54,837 --> 01:17:57,548
(SERLEENA ROARS)
1259
01:18:01,260 --> 01:18:02,845
Kid?
Yeah.
1260
01:18:03,304 --> 01:18:06,641
Thanks for bringing me back.
No problem.
1261
01:18:07,266 --> 01:18:08,768
Why didn't you tell me?
1262
01:18:08,935 --> 01:18:11,062
Would you have let her go?
1263
01:18:14,607 --> 01:18:15,650
(SCREAMS)
1264
01:18:32,500 --> 01:18:36,379
So, what's it like on the outside?
Not doing this every day?
1265
01:18:36,546 --> 01:18:37,964
It's nice.
1266
01:18:38,131 --> 01:18:41,968
Sleep late on the weekends.
Watch the Weather Channel.
1267
01:18:43,886 --> 01:18:45,221
(SIGHS)
1268
01:18:45,471 --> 01:18:47,598
I did miss this city.
1269
01:18:48,808 --> 01:18:52,353
JAY: So Laura is Princess
Lauranna's daughter.
1270
01:18:54,272 --> 01:18:57,650
Did y'all...?
MiB is a mess. Let's go, kid.
1271
01:18:58,443 --> 01:18:59,652
Let's go?
1272
01:18:59,819 --> 01:19:04,115
Thousands of people in New York
and New Jersey saw our little event.
1273
01:19:04,282 --> 01:19:08,661
Plan needs to be thought out. Plan
needs to be cool. What you...?
1274
01:19:11,164 --> 01:19:12,457
(NEURALYZER ZAPS)
1275
01:19:13,332 --> 01:19:15,293
Kid, I'll get you trained yet.
1276
01:19:15,460 --> 01:19:17,003
I want one of those.
1277
01:19:17,170 --> 01:19:18,421
Damn!
1278
01:19:18,713 --> 01:19:21,215
(♪♪♪)
1279
01:19:23,259 --> 01:19:24,469
KAY: Hey
Hey.
1280
01:19:24,635 --> 01:19:27,054
How you doing?
I'm good, man.
1281
01:19:27,221 --> 01:19:31,768
We've all been there. The girl is
gone and it hurts. Wanna talk'?
1282
01:19:31,934 --> 01:19:33,478
No.
I can help.
1283
01:19:33,644 --> 01:19:34,687
No.
1284
01:19:34,854 --> 01:19:35,855
Still sulking?
1285
01:19:36,022 --> 01:19:37,064
No.
Yeah.
1286
01:19:37,231 --> 01:19:41,486
Hell, you miss her. It happens to all of us.
I knew this hot young thing.
1287
01:19:41,652 --> 01:19:45,239
When our bodies were in the
positions of the Kamasutra...
1288
01:19:45,406 --> 01:19:46,949
Zed!
Ah...
1289
01:19:47,158 --> 01:19:49,035
Come on, man! Damn!
1290
01:19:49,410 --> 01:19:54,040
I'll tell you about dames. They say they want
to be scratched, but they really want is:
1291
01:19:54,207 --> 01:19:55,374
(GROWLING)
1292
01:19:55,541 --> 01:19:56,709
Hey! Frank.
1293
01:19:56,876 --> 01:19:59,587
What? Still sitting shiva?
Want my advice?
1294
01:19:59,754 --> 01:20:01,672
No. No advice.
1295
01:20:01,839 --> 01:20:03,382
No talking.
1296
01:20:04,008 --> 01:20:05,301
Hell, no.
1297
01:20:05,468 --> 01:20:08,137
Fellas, I swear, I'm fine.
1298
01:20:09,096 --> 01:20:11,891
ALIENS:
All hail Jay! All hail Jay!
1299
01:20:12,433 --> 01:20:14,227
KAY: I brought them
from Grand Central.
1300
01:20:14,393 --> 01:20:16,062
Why put them in my locker?
1301
01:20:16,229 --> 01:20:18,564
I thought it would put things
in perspective.
1302
01:20:18,731 --> 01:20:21,400
It's kind of sad.
We need to let them out.
1303
01:20:21,567 --> 01:20:23,778
They need to know the world
is bigger than that.
1304
01:20:23,945 --> 01:20:24,946
(SIGHS)
1305
01:20:25,112 --> 01:20:26,447
Still a rookie.
1306
01:20:26,614 --> 01:20:28,616
(♪♪♪)
1307
01:20:29,700 --> 01:20:31,077
Whoa.
1308
01:20:36,207 --> 01:20:38,209
(ALIENS CHATTERING)
1309
01:20:42,421 --> 01:20:44,131
♪ MiB ♪
1310
01:20:44,507 --> 01:20:47,093
♪ The black suits comin' ♪
1311
01:20:47,260 --> 01:20:51,430
♪ The black suits comin' ♪
♪ I'm comin', I'm comin', I'm comin' ♪
1312
01:20:52,765 --> 01:20:54,517
♪ I am the man in black
I'm back ♪
1313
01:20:54,684 --> 01:20:57,019
♪ Breaking the back
Of the random attackers ♪
1314
01:20:57,186 --> 01:20:59,605
♪ So can the flak
Yo, I'm dangerous ♪
1315
01:20:59,772 --> 01:21:02,066
♪ I've been trained to bust
When a stranger fuss ♪
1316
01:21:02,233 --> 01:21:04,151
♪ Try to endanger us
Praise me, y'all ♪
1317
01:21:04,318 --> 01:21:05,778
♪ Don't nothing faze me, y'all ♪
1318
01:21:05,945 --> 01:21:08,239
♪ When they see me their gaze
Be all crazy y'all ♪
1319
01:21:08,406 --> 01:21:10,658
♪ They say I'm a myth
Trust me if somebody riff ♪
1320
01:21:10,825 --> 01:21:12,076
♪ Out of the depths
Of your imagination ♪
1321
01:21:12,243 --> 01:21:15,121
♪ Appears Will Smith
Black suit, the black shades ♪
1322
01:21:15,288 --> 01:21:17,999
♪ The black shoes
Black tie with the black attitude ♪
1323
01:21:18,165 --> 01:21:20,543
♪ New style, black Ray-Bans
I'm stunning, man ♪
1324
01:21:20,710 --> 01:21:23,129
♪ New hotness, pitch black
Six hundred man ♪
1325
01:21:23,296 --> 01:21:24,463
♪ Don't you understand? ♪
1326
01:21:24,630 --> 01:21:26,173
♪ What, you thought
I wouldn't come again? ♪
1327
01:21:26,340 --> 01:21:28,968
♪ Leave you hanging without
Bringing you the fun again? ♪
1328
01:21:29,135 --> 01:21:30,887
♪ Tangling
With the alien scum again ♪
1329
01:21:31,053 --> 01:21:33,347
♪ Monumental
It's the black suits running in ♪
1330
01:21:33,514 --> 01:21:35,391
♪ Nod ya head ♪
♪ The black suits comin' ♪
1331
01:21:35,558 --> 01:21:40,354
♪ Let me see you
Nod ya head like this ♪
1332
01:21:40,521 --> 01:21:43,482
♪ Let me see you bop your head
Nod your head, come on ♪
1333
01:21:43,649 --> 01:21:45,359
♪ Nod ya head
The black suits comin' ♪
1334
01:21:45,526 --> 01:21:50,990
♪ Let me see you
Nod ya head like this ♪
1335
01:21:51,157 --> 01:21:52,950
♪ Nod ya head ♪
♪ Check it, yo ♪
1336
01:21:53,117 --> 01:21:56,078
♪ It's this chick, right, Serleena
Making me sick, right ♪
1337
01:21:56,245 --> 01:21:58,664
♪ Earth is worthless to her
She be tripping, like ♪
1338
01:21:58,831 --> 01:22:01,292
♪ Threatening me and my men
Trying to get the Light ♪
1339
01:22:01,459 --> 01:22:03,711
♪ Thinking she's superwoman
But black kryptonite ♪
1340
01:22:03,878 --> 01:22:05,630
♪ Finishing whatever you start, son ♪
1341
01:22:05,796 --> 01:22:08,674
♪ The best looking crime fighter
Since myself in part one ♪
1342
01:22:08,841 --> 01:22:11,260
♪ Better act right and play nice
And sing along ♪
1343
01:22:11,427 --> 01:22:12,929
♪ 'Cause Kay is back
And he hype ♪
1344
01:22:13,095 --> 01:22:14,722
♪ What, bring it on ♪
1345
01:22:15,139 --> 01:22:16,265
♪ Unh ♪
1346
01:22:16,432 --> 01:22:19,977
♪ Wanna brawl with me
Trying to brawl with me ♪
1347
01:22:20,144 --> 01:22:22,188
♪ Unh, unh ♪
1348
01:22:22,605 --> 01:22:24,190
♪ What, what ♪
1349
01:22:24,398 --> 01:22:25,524
♪ Yo ♪
1350
01:22:27,652 --> 01:22:31,197
♪ What, what
Then let me see you ♪
1351
01:22:31,364 --> 01:22:33,199
♪ Just come on Just come on ♪
1352
01:22:33,366 --> 01:22:37,536
♪ And nod ya head like this
Let me see you nod ya head ♪
1353
01:22:37,703 --> 01:22:40,331
♪ Let me see you
Nod ya head like this ♪
1354
01:22:40,498 --> 01:22:43,042
♪ Let me see you ♪
♪ Nod ya head, MIB ♪
1355
01:22:43,209 --> 01:22:46,379
♪ Let me see you nod ya head
Let me see you ♪
1356
01:22:46,545 --> 01:22:47,838
♪ Come on, come on ♪
1357
01:22:48,005 --> 01:22:50,007
♪ Let me see you
Nod ya head like this ♪
1358
01:22:50,174 --> 01:22:53,678
♪ Let me see see you
Check it, check it, yo ♪
1359
01:22:53,844 --> 01:22:55,638
♪ Case closed Erase my foes ♪
1360
01:22:55,805 --> 01:22:58,307
♪ Chased away by the black suits
Shades and clothes ♪
1361
01:22:58,474 --> 01:23:00,726
♪ We above the law
Feds can't touch me, y'all ♪
1362
01:23:00,893 --> 01:23:03,145
♪ Highly ranked
Black blank I.D. card ♪
1363
01:23:03,312 --> 01:23:05,731
♪ So disregard
What you think you saw ♪
1364
01:23:05,898 --> 01:23:08,734
♪ Put that phone down now
Who you think you calling, huh? ♪
1365
01:23:08,901 --> 01:23:10,820
♪ One little flash
Then good night there ♪
1366
01:23:10,987 --> 01:23:13,239
♪ Just open your eyes, honey
Look right here ♪
1367
01:23:13,406 --> 01:23:16,325
♪ Thank you, mission completed
I mean it, we won't be defeated ♪
1368
01:23:16,492 --> 01:23:18,911
♪ You seen it, we did it
Even with weapons depleted ♪
1369
01:23:19,078 --> 01:23:21,580
♪ Galaxy defenders
Don't act like you don't remember ♪
1370
01:23:21,747 --> 01:23:23,749
♪ Taking contenders
Proving they only pretenders ♪
1371
01:23:23,916 --> 01:23:25,710
♪ Ladies and gentlemen
Boys and girls ♪
1372
01:23:25,876 --> 01:23:28,129
♪ The Men In Black is back
To protect the world ♪
1373
01:23:28,295 --> 01:23:30,631
♪ When the enemy is near
The elite is here ♪
1374
01:23:30,798 --> 01:23:33,426
♪ So have no fear
Just let me see you ♪
1375
01:23:33,592 --> 01:23:35,803
♪ Nod ya head Come on ♪
1376
01:23:35,970 --> 01:23:38,431
♪ Nod ya head like this
Let me see you ♪
1377
01:23:38,597 --> 01:23:40,266
♪ Nod ya head ♪ ♪ Like this ♪
1378
01:23:40,433 --> 01:23:43,477
♪ Let me see you ♪
♪ Nod your head, MiB ♪
1379
01:23:43,644 --> 01:23:45,938
♪ Nod your head, MIB ♪ ♪ Whoo ♪
1380
01:23:46,105 --> 01:23:48,232
♪ Nod your head ♪ ♪ Unh ♪
1381
01:23:48,399 --> 01:23:52,778
♪ Nod your head, MIB
Nod ya head ♪
1382
01:23:52,945 --> 01:23:54,947
♪ If you want to rock just say
♪ Oh, oh ♪
1383
01:23:55,114 --> 01:23:57,783
♪ Tell me if you want to rock just say ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
1384
01:23:57,950 --> 01:24:00,119
♪ If you want to bop, just say ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
1385
01:24:00,286 --> 01:24:02,496
♪ Come on, if you want to rock, say ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
1386
01:24:02,663 --> 01:24:04,957
♪ Yo, if you want to bop, just say ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
1387
01:24:05,124 --> 01:24:07,793
♪ Tell me if you want to rock just say ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
1388
01:24:07,960 --> 01:24:10,087
♪ If you want to nod, just say ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
1389
01:24:10,254 --> 01:24:12,506
♪ Tell me if you want to rock, say ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
1390
01:24:12,673 --> 01:24:14,008
♪ Ha ♪
1391
01:24:31,108 --> 01:24:33,194
♪ Nod ya head ♪♪
1392
01:24:36,447 --> 01:24:38,449
(♪♪♪)