1 00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:26,127 I am the matriarch of a great American 2 00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:28,796 family taking on the ultimate challenge-- 3 00:00:28,896 --> 00:00:30,864 the perfect family meal. 4 00:00:30,964 --> 00:00:32,100 I understand, Mama Clara. 5 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:33,567 Working in a small takeout franchise 6 00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:37,004 is traditionally a gateway to bigger and better things. 7 00:00:37,105 --> 00:00:38,038 I understand, Mama Clara. 8 00:00:38,139 --> 00:00:39,173 You create synergies. 9 00:00:39,273 --> 00:00:40,741 You solve problems. 10 00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:42,210 I understand, Mama Clara. 11 00:00:42,310 --> 00:00:44,978 But that is what happens when I go to the bathroom, 12 00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:47,315 and leave you in charge of the french fries. 13 00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:48,616 Well, give me another chance. 14 00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:51,819 [boom] Give your Uncle Bob another chance. 15 00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:54,455 Bob, you're no uncle, and I'm no mama. 16 00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:56,724 The cute names are company policy, that's all. 17 00:00:56,824 --> 00:00:59,793 Just-- feel good stuff, so they can pay you less. 18 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:00,694 But we're a family. 19 00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:02,596 Look around! - Oh! 20 00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:03,597 [screaming] 21 00:01:03,697 --> 00:01:04,565 Dad! 22 00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:05,566 [screaming] 23 00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:06,467 Are you OK? 24 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,068 Dad? 25 00:01:08,169 --> 00:01:09,403 We're a family. 26 00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:11,805 This is my real father, Bob. 27 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:15,042 There's a difference. 28 00:01:15,143 --> 00:01:17,611 [radio chatter] 29 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:25,153 [sirens] 30 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:28,922 SINGER: Time is drifting. 31 00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:31,925 This rock has got to roll. 32 00:01:32,025 --> 00:01:36,964 So I hit the road and made my getaway. 33 00:01:37,064 --> 00:01:39,800 Restless feeling, we gotta go. 34 00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:41,402 Sorry. 35 00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:45,506 SINGER: I started searching for a better way. 36 00:01:50,244 --> 00:01:52,613 No, no, no! 37 00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:53,714 No! No! 38 00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:54,515 No! Stop! 39 00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:55,115 Stop! Stop! 40 00:01:55,216 --> 00:01:56,617 Stop! [horn] 41 00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:57,518 Stop! 42 00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:03,924 Help! 43 00:02:04,024 --> 00:02:06,894 Help! 44 00:02:06,994 --> 00:02:09,062 Grab onto this rope here. 45 00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:10,898 Pull it. 46 00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:12,266 [screaming] 47 00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:17,371 [giggling] 48 00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:22,543 Hi, people. 49 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:23,511 [pop] 50 00:02:25,112 --> 00:02:26,314 Oh, save the fishies. Save the fishies! 51 00:02:26,414 --> 00:02:28,182 Save the fishies! Save the fishes! 52 00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:29,383 Save the-- 53 00:02:37,225 --> 00:02:38,091 [beeping] 54 00:02:38,192 --> 00:02:40,661 [screeching] 55 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,569 I'm an astronaut. I'm a ballerina. 56 00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:49,570 I'm an astronaut. 57 00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:51,972 I'm a ballerina. 58 00:02:52,072 --> 00:02:54,575 [crying] 59 00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:07,821 Shave, shave, shave-- 60 00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:08,756 [screaming] 61 00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:10,824 Sorry. 62 00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:15,563 SINGER: New York City took me with the tide. 63 00:03:15,663 --> 00:03:16,964 [squishing] 64 00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:18,866 Ha. 65 00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:20,468 Sorry about that. 66 00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:29,477 [screaming] 67 00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:30,778 Oh. 68 00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:41,455 Huh I'm gonna need a bigger board. 69 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,360 It's not a big deal, Rascal. 70 00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:49,096 We're only on the B's, remember? 71 00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:50,598 We've got all this to go. 72 00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:52,866 OK, so we did burger assistant. 73 00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:54,735 Next up we have-- 74 00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:56,570 business consulting. 75 00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:57,305 Butcher? 76 00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:59,873 [squeaking] 77 00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:01,074 Hey, listen to this. 78 00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:03,176 Listen. 79 00:04:03,277 --> 00:04:05,979 Cosmopolitan butler school. 80 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:09,016 Become part of a family in five days. 81 00:04:09,116 --> 00:04:12,686 Rascal-- we're going butling. 82 00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:34,274 [buzzer] 83 00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:39,713 Do you think you're gonna be a lassie? 84 00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:43,984 9: 30? 85 00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:45,553 [whistle] 86 00:04:47,388 --> 00:04:49,256 Good morning, students. 87 00:04:49,357 --> 00:04:50,157 Good morning, sir. 88 00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:51,325 Good morning, sir. 89 00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:52,426 Two lines, please. 90 00:04:52,526 --> 00:04:55,429 [clapping] Take up. 91 00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:57,698 My name is Butler. 92 00:04:57,798 --> 00:05:00,368 I'm a born butler, in all senses of the phrase. 93 00:05:00,468 --> 00:05:02,670 I come from a long line of butlers. 94 00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:05,706 In only five days, you will each receive 95 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:09,309 a certificate of competence to wait on any family 96 00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:11,144 on this side of the pond. 97 00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:12,880 For those of you that are interested, 98 00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:16,384 the full English course, lasting for the 17 years, 99 00:05:16,484 --> 00:05:19,219 standards are slightly higher. 100 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:22,623 So, what does a butler do? 101 00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:23,957 Hm? 102 00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:26,059 Answer-- anything. 103 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:29,897 He must cook, clean, tend the garden, groom the horses, 104 00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:32,833 write letters, iron shirts, arrange appointments, 105 00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:37,270 greet guests, run barbes, buy groceries, pack cases, 106 00:05:37,371 --> 00:05:42,309 unpack cases, make reservations, cancel reservations, and still 107 00:05:42,410 --> 00:05:45,145 find time to be a confidant. 108 00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:46,380 Understood? 109 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:47,347 - Yes, sir. - Yes, sir. 110 00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:48,482 Yes, sir. 111 00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:55,656 Grooming is crucial to the [inaudible]. 112 00:05:55,756 --> 00:06:00,127 Substantial facial hair is quite unacceptable. 113 00:06:00,227 --> 00:06:02,095 Rabbi, how would you serve soup? 114 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,096 Well, I-- 115 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,766 Either it goes, or you go. 116 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:06,700 Oh. 117 00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:12,640 Butlers must be immaculately dressed. 118 00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:16,109 So what's your excuse, you miserable heap of mess? 119 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:17,478 This is me tidy. 120 00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:19,413 Not in my book. 121 00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:22,650 Do you possess any offensively tasteless tattoos 122 00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:26,219 perpetrated in a drunken haze? 123 00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:27,655 No. 124 00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:30,458 Any piercings of body parts? 125 00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:32,460 I do have a series of small holes in my tongue 126 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:33,794 from when I was six. 127 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:36,229 My cousin, he gave me a black sea urchin thing, 128 00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:39,132 and told me it was a chocolate muffin. 129 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:43,537 I think they've grown over. 130 00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:46,406 Show me your nipples. 131 00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:48,241 My nipples? 132 00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:49,142 Yes. 133 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,077 Your nipples. 134 00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:58,486 Hm. 135 00:06:58,586 --> 00:06:59,820 Can't blame a man for asking. 136 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,756 Frankly, you look the weird sort. 137 00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:03,657 I'm weird? 138 00:07:23,844 --> 00:07:24,645 Come on. 139 00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:25,579 Come on. 140 00:07:27,515 --> 00:07:28,348 Tess. 141 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,483 Tess. 142 00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:38,225 This elevator has already left. 143 00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:39,159 Sop that! 144 00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:40,193 You're causing a delay. 145 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,428 I have an important meeting. 146 00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:42,563 If it was so important, you would 147 00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:44,264 have left earlier, like I did. 148 00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:46,199 Mother, you're embarrassing us. 149 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,134 Stop. 150 00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:49,269 Stop! 151 00:07:49,369 --> 00:07:50,203 Witch! 152 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:52,139 What a rude person. 153 00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:53,040 Suck up. 154 00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:57,244 Any news Judith? 155 00:07:57,344 --> 00:07:58,712 Not yet. 156 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,113 OK. 157 00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:01,014 Kate. 158 00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:07,487 - All right, go. - Mr. Dickens called. 159 00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:08,756 Urgent. - Skip. 160 00:08:08,856 --> 00:08:09,890 Next. 161 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,158 Makes the investment conference call urgent. 162 00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:12,593 Safe. Next. 163 00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:14,494 Jacques called about dinner on Monday. 164 00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:15,395 Confirm. 165 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,330 8:00. 166 00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:20,033 It's them. 167 00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:21,168 OK. Put 'em through. 168 00:08:21,268 --> 00:08:22,102 Good luck. 169 00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:28,075 A word or two about money. 170 00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,443 Money makes the world go round, doesn't it? 171 00:08:30,544 --> 00:08:31,478 Yes, Mr. Butler. 172 00:08:31,579 --> 00:08:33,013 Balderdash. 173 00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:36,950 Trust, not money-- that's what makes the world go round. 174 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:39,920 If I haven't been able to produce at least 175 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:43,691 one trustworthy butler out of this course, 176 00:08:43,791 --> 00:08:45,058 then I've wasted my time. 177 00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:45,993 Ah-- sorry. 178 00:08:46,093 --> 00:08:46,927 Sorry! 179 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,161 [clattering] 180 00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:50,463 As I've made clear, you will be in complete control 181 00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:52,065 of the household. 182 00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,868 However, you will be treated by other members of the household 183 00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:57,638 as if you were slightly less significant than a piece 184 00:08:57,738 --> 00:08:59,272 of used toilet paper. 185 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:04,477 To simulate this, I've devised a rather amusing little exercise. 186 00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:06,980 [shouting] 187 00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:11,852 You're enjoying this, aren't you? 188 00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:14,888 I'm getting no pleasure from it whatsoever! 189 00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:17,357 Yeah, right. 190 00:09:17,457 --> 00:09:19,026 Bullseye! 191 00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:26,233 Now look-- open wide for one teeny, weeny little baked bean, 192 00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,301 or I'll tell your mom. 193 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,804 But I'll tell her you hit me. 194 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:31,939 What? 195 00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:36,143 I'll tell her you hit me and pulled my hair. 196 00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:37,978 [screaming] - OK. 197 00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,112 Leave the food. 198 00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:41,414 Can I watch TV tonight? 199 00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:45,585 I will not be blackmailed by you children. 200 00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:48,689 [screaming] 201 00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:58,265 [sigh] 202 00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:00,868 Mrs. Withington, what happened? 203 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:07,641 Sorry, Miss Jamieson, but they are the devil's seed. 204 00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:10,343 Oh, no, they're just playing with you. 205 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:11,444 They're delightful children. 206 00:10:11,544 --> 00:10:12,846 Really. 207 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,214 Underneath all the horrible stuff. 208 00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:15,615 Please. 209 00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:17,550 I promised Jacques I would not let him down again. 210 00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:18,719 [chuckling] 211 00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:33,633 [mumbling] 212 00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:41,008 [phone ringing] 213 00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:44,544 Hello? 214 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:47,214 - Bob the babysitter? - No, ma'am. 215 00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:49,449 This is Bob the Butler. 216 00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:50,951 Now, look, I definitely have this number 217 00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:53,486 down for Bob the babysitter. 218 00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:55,655 Well, that was at least seven jobs back. 219 00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:59,159 But you were a babysitter once? 220 00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:00,593 Well, yes. 221 00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:01,729 Just once. 222 00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:03,663 Oh, please, this is an emergency. 223 00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:06,333 One minute, please. 224 00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:09,536 Rascal-- damsel in distress. 225 00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:11,905 May I have your leave? 226 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,406 Thank you, Master Rascal. 227 00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:19,412 I'd be happy to. 228 00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:22,015 [engine stalling] 229 00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:35,028 [knocking] 230 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:37,364 Oh. 231 00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:38,265 My. 232 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,232 Are you Bob? 233 00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:41,701 At your service. 234 00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:43,670 You have a piece of tomato in your hair. 235 00:11:43,771 --> 00:11:48,641 Oh-- Ugh. 236 00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:50,443 Gone. 237 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:51,478 OK, well, um-- 238 00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:53,280 I want you to meet my children. 239 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:56,083 This is my daughter, Tess. 240 00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:57,184 Miss Tess. 241 00:11:57,284 --> 00:11:58,151 Hello. 242 00:11:58,251 --> 00:11:59,086 lovely name. 243 00:11:59,186 --> 00:12:00,153 My son, Bates. 244 00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:01,054 Mm. 245 00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:04,091 Master-- Bates. 246 00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:05,325 OK. 247 00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:11,899 I have to go, so do me a favor, and do not hurt him. 248 00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:13,666 Bob, please don't sit on any of the nice 249 00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:14,902 chairs unless you have to. 250 00:12:15,002 --> 00:12:16,503 OK. 251 00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:19,439 Goodnight, children. 252 00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:20,740 Goodnight, Mother. 253 00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:23,743 Enjoy your romantic evening out. - Have fun. 254 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,821 Don't forget the back ones, master. 255 00:12:33,921 --> 00:12:35,856 Why do you call me master? 256 00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,925 I'm studying to be a butler. 257 00:12:38,025 --> 00:12:40,593 I don't like it. 258 00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:43,730 Master Bates just feels wrong. 259 00:12:43,831 --> 00:12:45,532 Indeed. 260 00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:46,934 How about I call you Bates? 261 00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:50,838 - I like that. - Yeah. 262 00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:51,939 Just Bates. 263 00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:03,316 [humming] Nice chair. 264 00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:14,127 Bates? 265 00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:15,262 Are you awake? 266 00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:17,097 When will Mom be back? 267 00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:19,799 You think Bob's a real find? 268 00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:22,569 He let me sleep in my fireman costume. 269 00:13:22,669 --> 00:13:24,004 He's crazy. 270 00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:27,207 I like him more than Mrs. Withington. 271 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,142 Would you like to have him back? 272 00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:30,543 Can we? 273 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:31,478 Leave it to me. 274 00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:44,424 Thanks for a lovely evening. 275 00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:46,693 Ah, the pleasure was all mine. 276 00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:47,627 I'd invite you up, but-- 277 00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:48,761 I know. 278 00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:50,530 The children will be up, as usual. 279 00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:53,867 Oh my god! 280 00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:55,035 What-- what's wrong? 281 00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:56,369 The childrens' lights are all out! 282 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:07,847 What's wrong? 283 00:14:07,948 --> 00:14:09,416 Nothing. 284 00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:10,483 They've been good as gold. 285 00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:11,784 Oh, cut the BS. 286 00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:14,121 What, are they bound and gagged somewhere? 287 00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:15,822 You really should be congratulated, ma'am, 288 00:14:15,923 --> 00:14:19,492 on raising such wondrous progeny. 289 00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:21,528 Can I go now? 290 00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:23,997 Normally they're, uh-- 291 00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:25,999 a pain in the derriere. 292 00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:28,301 I think here you say brats. 293 00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:29,002 Oh. 294 00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:30,803 I never say brats. 295 00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:32,872 Well, I don't know what you did, but-- 296 00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,307 I'm impressed. 297 00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:36,643 Well, Jacques, will you pay Bob for me? 298 00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:37,544 Of course. 299 00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:46,119 I'm, uh-- tipping you very generously here. 300 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:49,022 I want you to know why. 301 00:14:49,122 --> 00:14:53,860 Tonight, with the kids in bed, all night I get to do 302 00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:57,564 what Frenchmen love to do most. 303 00:14:57,664 --> 00:15:01,301 You're going to look in the mirror for eight hours? 304 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:02,235 Thanks, Jack. 305 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,706 This morning, those of us that remain 306 00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:09,842 will address the basic skills required for a typical day, 307 00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:13,180 starting with undressing the master. 308 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:14,681 Now, I shall need a volunteer. 309 00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:15,983 Mr. Tree, please. 310 00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:20,353 Jacket? 311 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,358 Good. 312 00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:26,293 Tie? 313 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:30,030 Waistcoat? 314 00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:31,298 Or vest, to you. 315 00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:39,839 Shirt? 316 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,008 Aw, come on. 317 00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:42,442 Haven't you got some kind of dummy? 318 00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:44,411 Dear boy, if you intend to be a butler, 319 00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:47,547 you'd better get used to naked old flesh. 320 00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:49,382 Are you sure this isn't a British thing? 321 00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:51,951 I mean, most Americans know how to dress themselves. 322 00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:53,920 On the contrary. 323 00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:57,324 We are here to educate them to do it better. 324 00:15:57,424 --> 00:16:00,293 And to dress for the right occasion. 325 00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:01,028 Whoa! 326 00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:04,297 Yo, I'm outta here. 327 00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:11,304 Well, Bob, you seem to be the last one left. 328 00:16:11,404 --> 00:16:13,406 Mr. Butler, I don't really know if this is necessary. 329 00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:17,410 I mean, I'll give you $100 if you leave the rest on. 330 00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:18,345 150. 331 00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:20,013 1,000. 332 00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:23,016 Please stop there. 333 00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:25,618 Dress me. 334 00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:26,986 Bob? No. 335 00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:28,088 No. - It's OK. 336 00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:29,689 It's OK, Nico. 337 00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:30,823 I don't want to work here. 338 00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:32,825 I can't stand the sight of blood. 339 00:16:32,925 --> 00:16:34,394 And all that screaming. 340 00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:36,596 You took the guy's earlobe off. 341 00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:38,665 Well, not on purpose. 342 00:16:38,765 --> 00:16:39,799 You used to work here? 343 00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:41,368 Of course I used to work here. 344 00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:44,637 Barber comes before butler in the yellow pages. 345 00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:45,872 So, how do you like it? 346 00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:48,141 Neat and tidy. 347 00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:50,043 As the man says. 348 00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:51,911 No beard. 349 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,113 No beard? 350 00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:55,048 Butlers don't have beards. 351 00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:56,683 Butlers wear beards. 352 00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:58,418 - No beard. - A bit of beard. 353 00:16:58,518 --> 00:16:59,119 No beard at all. 354 00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:00,520 Itty bit of beard? 355 00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:02,222 No beard whatever. 356 00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:03,756 Itsy bit of beard? 357 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,225 Nope. 358 00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:06,526 Not even a little, bitty, bitty, weeny bit of beard. 359 00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:08,195 Itty bit of butler beard? Beardless. 360 00:17:08,295 --> 00:17:09,462 Itty bit of butler beard. 361 00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:10,597 No beard. 362 00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:11,598 Itty bit of butler beard. 363 00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:12,765 Itty bit of butler beard. 364 00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,267 Itty bit of butler beard. 365 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,335 Settled. 366 00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:18,305 So-- pretty much as it is. 367 00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:26,379 What do you expect to do, Bob, if this doesn't work out? 368 00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:28,215 I'll probably move on to the C's. 369 00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:35,054 You know, camping guy, carpet cleaner, car washer-- 370 00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:36,689 computer hacker. 371 00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:38,091 Extraordinary. 372 00:17:38,191 --> 00:17:41,728 You seem to have such faith in yourself, 373 00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:45,765 where none is justified. 374 00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:47,200 Thanks, Mr. Butler. 375 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,171 Well, well, well. 376 00:17:58,044 --> 00:17:59,612 A gentleman's gentleman. 377 00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:00,547 By George. 378 00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:08,888 Loving breaths of deep-- 379 00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:09,922 acceptance. 380 00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:10,823 Ah. 381 00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:19,098 All right, can we speed it up, please? 382 00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:21,301 Here's my needs analysis. 383 00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:22,335 I think it'll save time. 384 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,437 What are you saving time for? 385 00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:25,672 Your family? 386 00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,907 But you don't even have time to enjoy your kids. 387 00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:28,808 Or Jacques. 388 00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:32,078 Jack's not family. 389 00:18:32,179 --> 00:18:34,514 There's too much work. 390 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:35,248 I need more time. 391 00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:38,050 Remember your mantra. 392 00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:40,687 I cannot organize the world. 393 00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:43,089 Blah, blah, blah. 394 00:18:43,190 --> 00:18:44,691 Maybe you could work just as hard, 395 00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:48,060 and find someone who brings the best out of me and Bates? 396 00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:51,931 Tess, that is a very sensible suggestion. 397 00:18:52,031 --> 00:18:53,666 Do you have anyone in mind? 398 00:18:53,766 --> 00:18:55,001 Not really. 399 00:18:55,101 --> 00:19:01,274 Well-- I quite liked the babysitter we had last night. 400 00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:04,110 But Tess said he was freaky. 401 00:19:04,211 --> 00:19:05,278 He's too strict. 402 00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:07,247 He's way too strict. 403 00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:08,915 Definitely not him. 404 00:19:09,015 --> 00:19:11,351 Eh-- 405 00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:13,520 Well, it's not your call, children. 406 00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:24,964 - What are we doing? - Come on. 407 00:19:25,064 --> 00:19:25,898 Come on. 408 00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:27,834 Come on. 409 00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:28,801 Up you go. 410 00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:34,974 Standing still, Mr. Tree, is highly 411 00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:38,010 prized in butler circles. 412 00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:38,911 Freak. 413 00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:39,846 Just get up. 414 00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:43,816 Tiny people down below. 415 00:19:48,321 --> 00:19:50,723 [heavy breathing] 416 00:19:54,661 --> 00:19:55,662 Good. 417 00:19:55,762 --> 00:19:58,631 I want you to clear your mind, and relax. 418 00:19:58,731 --> 00:20:00,400 Relax? 419 00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:01,701 Are you kidding me? 420 00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:05,538 I'm standing inches from certain death, here. 421 00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:07,240 I'll tell you what-- think of the most 422 00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:11,611 beautiful thing you've seen of the last 48 hours. 423 00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,179 Now, come on. 424 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:14,481 You can do it. 425 00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:18,117 I'm beginning to have faith in you, Bob. 426 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,118 OK. 427 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,052 I've got it. 428 00:20:20,152 --> 00:20:21,821 What is it? 429 00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:23,823 It's a woman. 430 00:20:23,923 --> 00:20:24,791 Can you picture her? 431 00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:29,262 Yes. 432 00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:30,630 Excellent. 433 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,565 Hold that thought. 434 00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:53,886 Hey, kiddo. 435 00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:56,789 How was your day? - OK. 436 00:20:56,889 --> 00:20:58,391 Just OK? 437 00:20:58,491 --> 00:20:59,426 Well, mine was pretty good. 438 00:20:59,526 --> 00:21:00,827 Do you want to hear about it? 439 00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:03,630 Does it have anything with campaign management? 440 00:21:03,730 --> 00:21:04,564 Yes. 441 00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:05,498 No. 442 00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:17,510 It's polite to knock. 443 00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,379 It's bedtime, sweetheart. 444 00:21:19,479 --> 00:21:20,847 I haven't finished. 445 00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:22,982 Now, please. 446 00:21:23,082 --> 00:21:23,916 No. 447 00:21:31,658 --> 00:21:34,927 Ah, that's just what I need. 448 00:21:35,027 --> 00:21:37,063 Thank you. 449 00:21:37,163 --> 00:21:39,031 Do you want to hear about my day? 450 00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:40,633 Now? 451 00:21:40,733 --> 00:21:43,503 Your mind is full of work and kids, 452 00:21:43,603 --> 00:21:47,106 work and kids, work and kids. 453 00:21:47,206 --> 00:21:48,541 That leaves little for me. 454 00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:51,344 I am trying to sell my business, Jacques. 455 00:21:51,444 --> 00:21:53,212 For months, mon cheri. 456 00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:55,415 But when? 457 00:21:55,515 --> 00:21:57,850 - I'm thinking of hiring Bob. - The babysitter? 458 00:21:57,950 --> 00:21:58,785 The butler. 459 00:22:01,854 --> 00:22:04,223 Are you sure you want to live with you? 460 00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:05,592 I'm joking. 461 00:22:05,692 --> 00:22:07,460 No, he'll live in the attic. 462 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:10,363 We'll have a babysitter whenever we want. 463 00:22:10,463 --> 00:22:12,899 Perfect. 464 00:22:12,999 --> 00:22:14,233 [knocking] 465 00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,235 Can you hurry up in there? 466 00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:17,970 You've been in there for hours? 467 00:22:18,070 --> 00:22:18,905 MAN: Almost finished. 468 00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:29,115 He'll tidy all this up? 469 00:22:29,215 --> 00:22:30,116 Yeah. 470 00:22:30,216 --> 00:22:31,418 Bates, stop that. 471 00:22:31,518 --> 00:22:33,152 It's a toilet bidet. 472 00:22:33,252 --> 00:22:34,721 What's a toilet bidet? 473 00:22:34,821 --> 00:22:36,188 It's like a fountain for your a-- 474 00:22:36,288 --> 00:22:38,324 Ask me later. 475 00:22:38,425 --> 00:22:40,760 Jack says he's here. 476 00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:42,028 The butler! 477 00:22:42,128 --> 00:22:43,430 Now, then, Robert-- 478 00:22:43,530 --> 00:22:45,264 Actually, my name's Bob. 479 00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:47,534 Oh, well, Bob is short for Robert. 480 00:22:47,634 --> 00:22:50,236 Isn't Rob short for Robert? 481 00:22:50,336 --> 00:22:51,504 Yes. 482 00:22:51,604 --> 00:22:52,872 So, then Bob would be short for Bobert. 483 00:22:52,972 --> 00:22:54,173 Your name is Bobert? 484 00:22:54,273 --> 00:22:55,074 No. 485 00:22:55,174 --> 00:22:56,075 Just Bob. 486 00:22:56,175 --> 00:22:57,677 OK, then. 487 00:22:57,777 --> 00:22:59,812 As long as we're satisfied with first names, can we continue? 488 00:22:59,912 --> 00:23:00,647 Of course. 489 00:23:00,747 --> 00:23:02,048 Though I don't know your name. 490 00:23:02,148 --> 00:23:04,183 Is it all right if I call you Mistress Jamieson? 491 00:23:04,283 --> 00:23:07,253 Oh-- [laughter] No. 492 00:23:07,353 --> 00:23:09,556 That sounds rather sordid, doesn't it? 493 00:23:09,656 --> 00:23:13,125 Perhaps you could just call me Anne? 494 00:23:13,225 --> 00:23:14,694 Anne? 495 00:23:14,794 --> 00:23:16,262 Just Anne. 496 00:23:16,362 --> 00:23:18,097 Anne. 497 00:23:18,197 --> 00:23:19,231 Yes. 498 00:23:19,331 --> 00:23:20,132 Anne. 499 00:23:20,232 --> 00:23:21,067 Bien. 500 00:23:21,167 --> 00:23:22,368 Anne. 501 00:23:22,469 --> 00:23:26,639 Mr. Tree, how many children do you have? 502 00:23:26,739 --> 00:23:28,541 Well, I don't have any children. 503 00:23:28,641 --> 00:23:31,377 But you said in the flier that you would take care 504 00:23:31,478 --> 00:23:32,945 of the children like your own. 505 00:23:33,045 --> 00:23:35,682 Yeah, if I had some. 506 00:23:35,782 --> 00:23:38,050 But you did just recently attend the, 507 00:23:38,150 --> 00:23:40,386 uh, Cosmopolitan Butler School? 508 00:23:40,487 --> 00:23:41,821 It's all tidy. 509 00:23:54,501 --> 00:23:56,135 Ah, how much do I owe you? 510 00:24:08,314 --> 00:24:09,749 What did he say? 511 00:24:09,849 --> 00:24:11,984 Uh, he said he'll drop the bill off next week. 512 00:24:15,387 --> 00:24:19,058 Um-- Jacques got me a wonderful present. 513 00:24:19,158 --> 00:24:21,761 A state of the art toilet. 514 00:24:21,861 --> 00:24:24,230 A toilet? 515 00:24:24,330 --> 00:24:26,098 What a nice gift. 516 00:24:26,198 --> 00:24:27,800 [non-english speech] 517 00:24:31,470 --> 00:24:32,705 My goodness, Bob. 518 00:24:32,805 --> 00:24:35,407 I had no idea that you were fluent in Japanese. 519 00:24:35,508 --> 00:24:37,276 I worked in the Asian market. 520 00:24:37,376 --> 00:24:38,444 Well, that's impressive. 521 00:24:38,545 --> 00:24:39,979 You sold stock? 522 00:24:40,079 --> 00:24:46,719 Stocks, vegetables, some strangely shaped fruits. 523 00:24:46,819 --> 00:24:49,856 Horseshoe shaped fruits. 524 00:24:49,956 --> 00:24:53,760 Bob, I would like to go over a few specifics. 525 00:24:53,860 --> 00:24:55,294 I color categorize my sponges. 526 00:24:55,394 --> 00:24:56,563 Hm? 527 00:24:56,663 --> 00:24:58,130 Blue for bathroom, yellow for kitchen, 528 00:24:58,230 --> 00:25:01,167 purple for general, green for the outdoors-- car included. 529 00:25:01,267 --> 00:25:02,234 Please don't confuse them. 530 00:25:02,334 --> 00:25:03,435 Fine. 531 00:25:03,536 --> 00:25:04,971 - No strange women in the house. - Fine. 532 00:25:05,071 --> 00:25:06,138 - No drugs. - Fine. 533 00:25:06,238 --> 00:25:07,339 No pets. 534 00:25:07,439 --> 00:25:09,075 You allergic? 535 00:25:09,175 --> 00:25:11,077 They're unhygenic. 536 00:25:11,177 --> 00:25:12,011 Fine. 537 00:25:18,851 --> 00:25:20,452 So, what do you think? 538 00:25:20,553 --> 00:25:22,454 Well, he is very strange. 539 00:25:22,555 --> 00:25:24,456 I don't understand this, uh, Rob-- 540 00:25:24,557 --> 00:25:26,458 Bob-- Bobert business. 541 00:25:26,559 --> 00:25:27,526 Well, I suppose we could always 542 00:25:27,627 --> 00:25:29,095 interview other candidates. 543 00:25:29,195 --> 00:25:31,297 There are other candidate? 544 00:25:31,397 --> 00:25:33,299 No. 545 00:25:33,399 --> 00:25:35,902 [squeaking] 546 00:25:37,570 --> 00:25:39,405 I hired an assistant once. 547 00:25:39,505 --> 00:25:40,873 She seemed perfect, she worked hard, she 548 00:25:40,973 --> 00:25:42,842 did everything I told her to. 549 00:25:42,942 --> 00:25:45,578 One lunchtime, I saw her in the gym. 550 00:25:45,678 --> 00:25:49,048 She had a shower, and then she changed right back 551 00:25:49,148 --> 00:25:52,952 into her workout bra. 552 00:25:53,052 --> 00:25:53,986 I'm lost. 553 00:25:54,086 --> 00:25:56,055 I fired her on the spot, of course. 554 00:25:56,155 --> 00:25:59,558 You fired her because of her sweaty bra? 555 00:25:59,659 --> 00:26:03,162 Do you think Bobert wears a bra? 556 00:26:03,262 --> 00:26:04,631 Oh, who knows? 557 00:26:04,731 --> 00:26:06,866 But if it doesn't work out, I'll change him. 558 00:26:06,966 --> 00:26:07,800 OK. 559 00:26:11,137 --> 00:26:12,038 [squeaking] 560 00:26:12,138 --> 00:26:13,640 [glass shattering] 561 00:26:23,115 --> 00:26:23,950 Bates! 562 00:26:27,019 --> 00:26:27,920 Sorry, Mom. 563 00:26:30,823 --> 00:26:34,326 I think you'll find that it has everything you need. 564 00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:37,196 I'm sure it's not up to your professional standards. 565 00:26:44,603 --> 00:26:48,507 Well, it's-- white. 566 00:26:48,607 --> 00:26:49,441 Yeah. 567 00:26:49,541 --> 00:26:51,711 Uh-- oh-- 568 00:26:51,811 --> 00:26:53,179 I'm sorry it is such a mess. 569 00:26:57,884 --> 00:27:00,052 I can, indeed, organize the world. 570 00:27:14,100 --> 00:27:15,401 [squeaking] 571 00:27:15,501 --> 00:27:16,402 Here, Rascal. 572 00:27:21,140 --> 00:27:21,974 Home. 573 00:27:26,478 --> 00:27:27,546 We are robot. 574 00:27:27,646 --> 00:27:30,616 We are monster robot. 575 00:27:30,717 --> 00:27:32,084 I am robot man. 576 00:27:32,184 --> 00:27:33,319 Get out of my way. 577 00:27:33,419 --> 00:27:34,620 I am computer man. 578 00:27:34,721 --> 00:27:36,856 Aren't you a little old to play with toys? 579 00:27:36,956 --> 00:27:40,592 Well, I don't usually play with them, but-- 580 00:27:40,693 --> 00:27:43,996 I got these when I was about your age, and-- 581 00:27:44,096 --> 00:27:46,799 I figured I'd give them to my own son one day. 582 00:27:46,899 --> 00:27:48,935 Do you think he'd want them? 583 00:28:03,149 --> 00:28:05,284 The children are in bed, ma'am. 584 00:28:05,384 --> 00:28:06,218 Thank you, Bob. 585 00:28:06,318 --> 00:28:07,720 Music to my ears. 586 00:28:07,820 --> 00:28:09,588 Is there anything else I can do for you? 587 00:28:09,688 --> 00:28:10,622 No, thank you. 588 00:28:10,723 --> 00:28:12,458 I'll see you in the morning. 589 00:28:12,558 --> 00:28:14,794 I hope you don't mind, but, um-- 590 00:28:14,894 --> 00:28:17,496 I couldn't find any towels for your bathroom. 591 00:28:17,596 --> 00:28:18,430 No. 592 00:28:18,530 --> 00:28:20,399 I don't use them. 593 00:28:20,499 --> 00:28:21,633 OK, then. 594 00:28:21,734 --> 00:28:23,335 They breed germs. 595 00:28:23,435 --> 00:28:24,503 I have a body dryer. 596 00:28:24,603 --> 00:28:25,604 A body dryer? 597 00:28:25,704 --> 00:28:26,638 Yes. 598 00:28:26,739 --> 00:28:29,041 Like a hair dryer? 599 00:28:29,141 --> 00:28:30,276 Bigger. 600 00:28:30,376 --> 00:28:32,611 Much more hygienic. 601 00:28:32,711 --> 00:28:34,346 Did I mention the sponge system? 602 00:28:34,446 --> 00:28:35,247 Blue for the bathroom-- 603 00:28:35,347 --> 00:28:37,583 Purple, yellow, green. 604 00:28:37,683 --> 00:28:38,584 Oh. 605 00:28:38,684 --> 00:28:39,752 Well, goodnight, then. 606 00:28:43,222 --> 00:28:44,090 Goodnight. 607 00:28:55,267 --> 00:28:56,769 [whirring] 608 00:28:59,638 --> 00:29:02,108 [sniffing] 609 00:29:07,546 --> 00:29:09,048 What's that smell? 610 00:29:09,148 --> 00:29:10,249 Cooking. 611 00:29:10,349 --> 00:29:11,550 Real food? 612 00:29:11,650 --> 00:29:12,584 Yeah. 613 00:29:12,684 --> 00:29:13,619 I guess Bob made us breakfast. 614 00:29:13,719 --> 00:29:15,387 Where did you get that blouse? 615 00:29:15,487 --> 00:29:16,856 It's an old one. 616 00:29:16,956 --> 00:29:17,857 Yeah, like, really old. 617 00:29:17,957 --> 00:29:19,025 Like, five years too old. 618 00:29:19,125 --> 00:29:20,726 It's way too small for you. 619 00:29:20,827 --> 00:29:22,528 - It is not. - Is. 620 00:29:22,628 --> 00:29:23,429 Is not. 621 00:29:23,529 --> 00:29:24,496 Let's have Bob decide. 622 00:29:24,596 --> 00:29:25,397 Bob? 623 00:29:25,497 --> 00:29:26,332 Is not. 624 00:29:26,432 --> 00:29:27,533 Is. 625 00:29:27,633 --> 00:29:29,068 Yes, ma'am? 626 00:29:29,168 --> 00:29:33,772 Tess' blouse-- indecently small, or acceptable fashion? 627 00:29:33,873 --> 00:29:35,307 Sorry, Miss Tess. 628 00:29:43,549 --> 00:29:44,951 That's a lot of pancakes. 629 00:29:45,051 --> 00:29:47,486 It's more cost effective to prepare in bulk. 630 00:29:47,586 --> 00:29:50,089 They teach you that bulk stuff at butler school? 631 00:29:50,189 --> 00:29:51,223 Actually, at the finest-- 632 00:29:54,260 --> 00:29:57,196 the finest cooking school in the world. 633 00:29:57,296 --> 00:29:59,131 The Cordon Bleu. 634 00:29:59,231 --> 00:30:00,232 The US Army. 635 00:30:00,332 --> 00:30:01,500 The army? 636 00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:03,035 Cool. 637 00:30:03,135 --> 00:30:04,736 Would you like some pancakes, Miss Tess? 638 00:30:04,837 --> 00:30:05,704 Sure. 639 00:30:05,804 --> 00:30:06,873 Make me put on 50 pounds. 640 00:30:06,973 --> 00:30:08,140 That'll make me popular. 641 00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:10,676 Getting grounded for being rude 642 00:30:10,776 --> 00:30:12,144 will definitely make you popular. 643 00:30:16,849 --> 00:30:18,417 Miss Tess? 644 00:30:18,517 --> 00:30:21,287 I want to prepare a special dinner tonight. 645 00:30:21,387 --> 00:30:22,688 Sort of an introduction. 646 00:30:22,788 --> 00:30:24,223 What does your mother like? 647 00:30:24,323 --> 00:30:25,992 She likes anything she can eat quickly, 648 00:30:26,092 --> 00:30:28,961 so she can get back to work. 649 00:30:29,061 --> 00:30:31,197 You know what would be good? 650 00:30:31,297 --> 00:30:32,164 A luau. 651 00:30:32,264 --> 00:30:34,200 She loves the whole Hawaiian thing. 652 00:30:34,300 --> 00:30:36,168 A luau, huh? 653 00:30:36,268 --> 00:30:37,303 BATES: Pork? 654 00:30:37,403 --> 00:30:38,037 OK. 655 00:30:38,137 --> 00:30:39,171 I'll look into that. 656 00:30:41,773 --> 00:30:44,476 I knew a guy once-- 657 00:30:44,576 --> 00:30:47,379 He was kind of a nervous fellow. 658 00:30:47,479 --> 00:30:49,815 Used to bite his nails. 659 00:30:49,916 --> 00:30:52,651 One day he was so upset, he ate his whole hand. 660 00:30:52,751 --> 00:30:54,086 He did not. 661 00:30:54,186 --> 00:30:55,721 By the time we pulled him off, he'd chewed 662 00:30:55,821 --> 00:30:57,323 all the way up to the elbows. 663 00:30:57,423 --> 00:30:58,324 That is stupid. 664 00:30:58,424 --> 00:31:00,826 That fella has to wear a muzzle now. 665 00:31:00,927 --> 00:31:02,394 A muzzle! 666 00:31:02,494 --> 00:31:07,900 All because he couldn't talk about his problems. 667 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,136 I don't know about that outfit, Miss Tess. 668 00:31:17,543 --> 00:31:18,544 Are you getting out? 669 00:31:18,644 --> 00:31:19,511 Mm-mm. 670 00:31:19,611 --> 00:31:21,680 I've got basketball today. 671 00:31:21,780 --> 00:31:23,315 That's great. 672 00:31:23,415 --> 00:31:25,184 I love basketball. 673 00:31:25,284 --> 00:31:26,953 You're not under four foot. 674 00:31:30,356 --> 00:31:31,190 Hey. 675 00:31:31,290 --> 00:31:32,124 Hi. 676 00:31:34,593 --> 00:31:35,962 Guess what? 677 00:31:36,062 --> 00:31:38,464 You joined the Britney Spears fan club? 678 00:31:38,564 --> 00:31:40,967 My mom hired a butler. 679 00:31:41,067 --> 00:31:43,069 He looks like he's from Transylvania. 680 00:31:43,169 --> 00:31:46,138 He's not the only one. 681 00:31:46,238 --> 00:31:48,674 They remind me of the Addams family. 682 00:31:48,774 --> 00:31:49,641 [laughter] 683 00:31:49,741 --> 00:31:52,311 Sad, sad, sad. 684 00:31:52,411 --> 00:31:53,212 Freaks. 685 00:31:56,715 --> 00:31:59,185 [baby crying] 686 00:32:13,899 --> 00:32:16,368 [mumbling] 687 00:32:22,841 --> 00:32:25,311 [baby crying] 688 00:32:30,782 --> 00:32:33,685 [whinnying] 689 00:32:35,787 --> 00:32:37,256 [baby laughing] 690 00:32:38,757 --> 00:32:40,659 Nice melons. 691 00:32:40,759 --> 00:32:41,827 Thank you. 692 00:32:41,927 --> 00:32:42,728 Thanks. 693 00:32:45,297 --> 00:32:48,234 - You. - Please pick me. 694 00:32:48,334 --> 00:32:49,168 You. 695 00:32:49,268 --> 00:32:50,502 You. 696 00:32:50,602 --> 00:32:51,637 You. 697 00:32:51,737 --> 00:32:52,571 Please pick me. 698 00:32:52,671 --> 00:32:53,472 You. 699 00:32:55,841 --> 00:32:56,675 You. 700 00:32:59,845 --> 00:33:00,679 You. 701 00:33:03,782 --> 00:33:05,251 [whistle] 702 00:33:17,329 --> 00:33:18,030 [beep] 703 00:33:18,130 --> 00:33:20,632 [rock music] 704 00:33:28,374 --> 00:33:29,208 Ah! 705 00:33:33,679 --> 00:33:36,182 [beeping] 706 00:33:37,349 --> 00:33:38,184 Woo! 707 00:33:41,053 --> 00:33:43,155 [clattering] 708 00:33:44,656 --> 00:33:45,557 [clattering] 709 00:33:45,657 --> 00:33:48,227 Oh! 710 00:33:48,327 --> 00:33:49,128 Ah! 711 00:33:52,030 --> 00:33:54,600 Ah! 712 00:33:54,700 --> 00:33:55,534 Whoa! 713 00:34:04,976 --> 00:34:06,078 [water rushing] 714 00:34:07,045 --> 00:34:08,080 Ah-- 715 00:34:11,983 --> 00:34:14,453 [air blowing] 716 00:34:15,654 --> 00:34:16,455 Yeah. 717 00:34:20,559 --> 00:34:24,896 Ah-- Uh-- 718 00:34:24,996 --> 00:34:25,831 Hm. 719 00:34:32,504 --> 00:34:35,574 Oh, yeah. 720 00:34:35,674 --> 00:34:36,508 Hi. 721 00:34:36,608 --> 00:34:37,709 How you doing? 722 00:34:37,809 --> 00:34:38,610 Good. 723 00:34:40,879 --> 00:34:41,847 Where's your sister? 724 00:34:41,947 --> 00:34:43,815 I don't know. 725 00:34:43,915 --> 00:34:47,085 Her cool friends are very sensitive. 726 00:34:47,186 --> 00:34:49,054 She have a lot of friends? 727 00:34:49,155 --> 00:34:51,257 Compared to me, or to normal people? 728 00:34:54,393 --> 00:34:56,595 Tess said she'd rather die than be collected by a man who 729 00:34:56,695 --> 00:34:59,431 looks like a penguin. 730 00:34:59,531 --> 00:35:01,833 I only take random insults from immediate friends 731 00:35:01,933 --> 00:35:02,868 and family. 732 00:35:02,968 --> 00:35:04,102 I'm Tess' best friend. 733 00:35:04,203 --> 00:35:05,871 Good enough. 734 00:35:05,971 --> 00:35:07,339 Where is she? 735 00:35:07,439 --> 00:35:10,008 Waiting for you to leave, or for cover of nightfall. 736 00:35:10,108 --> 00:35:12,878 Thank you. 737 00:35:12,978 --> 00:35:15,581 Miss Tess? 738 00:35:15,681 --> 00:35:17,216 Tess Jamieson? 739 00:35:17,316 --> 00:35:20,552 Your butler is here, and waiting. 740 00:35:20,652 --> 00:35:24,723 Hurry up, or I'll throw out your favorite Barney video, 741 00:35:24,823 --> 00:35:27,659 and your stash of letters to one J. Timberlake. 742 00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:35,934 So, how did basketball go? 743 00:35:36,034 --> 00:35:37,636 I stunk. 744 00:35:37,736 --> 00:35:39,505 What did you expect? 745 00:35:39,605 --> 00:35:40,272 I don't know. 746 00:35:40,372 --> 00:35:41,807 What did you expect? 747 00:35:41,907 --> 00:35:43,575 Well, I thought I'd be lousy. 748 00:35:43,675 --> 00:35:46,245 Well, then, it all worked out the way you thought. 749 00:35:46,345 --> 00:35:48,947 Miss Tess, how was your day? 750 00:35:49,047 --> 00:35:50,282 Do you gamble? 751 00:35:50,382 --> 00:35:51,450 What do you got in mind? 752 00:35:51,550 --> 00:35:53,919 I bet you'll be fired within a week. 753 00:35:54,019 --> 00:35:54,920 What odds are you offering? 754 00:35:57,589 --> 00:36:00,259 Doesn't anyone want to sit up front with the luau dinner? 755 00:36:04,530 --> 00:36:17,776 [humming] Dinner is served. 756 00:36:23,982 --> 00:36:25,784 TESS: This is so perfect. 757 00:36:25,884 --> 00:36:27,118 You think she'll like it? 758 00:36:27,219 --> 00:36:29,688 She'll be breathless. 759 00:36:29,788 --> 00:36:31,923 It's a napkin, moron. 760 00:36:32,023 --> 00:36:33,024 Why the hurry? 761 00:36:33,124 --> 00:36:34,560 He made us all dinner. 762 00:36:34,660 --> 00:36:38,864 The least that we can do is show him a little gratitude. 763 00:36:38,964 --> 00:36:44,503 Ah-- oh my good god. 764 00:36:44,603 --> 00:36:46,605 A luau? 765 00:36:46,705 --> 00:36:47,539 Mm. 766 00:36:53,845 --> 00:36:54,880 Whose idea was this? 767 00:36:54,980 --> 00:36:55,781 The butler. 768 00:37:06,625 --> 00:37:08,527 [groaning] 769 00:37:12,398 --> 00:37:14,300 One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, 770 00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:16,302 five Mississippi, six Mississippi, seven Mississippi, 771 00:37:16,402 --> 00:37:17,803 nine Mississippi, 10 Mississ-- 772 00:37:23,174 --> 00:37:25,243 [groaning] 773 00:37:26,612 --> 00:37:27,245 Rich. 774 00:37:27,346 --> 00:37:29,848 Full bodied. 775 00:37:29,948 --> 00:37:32,884 Hm-- I smell a hint of mushroom? 776 00:37:32,984 --> 00:37:34,019 Shitake? 777 00:37:34,119 --> 00:37:35,053 Portobello. 778 00:37:35,153 --> 00:37:37,356 Burgundy region. 779 00:37:37,456 --> 00:37:39,224 I will take you there one day. 780 00:37:39,325 --> 00:37:41,259 Can I come to "Rodungi?" 781 00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:43,329 Oh, Bates, sweet-- 782 00:37:43,429 --> 00:37:44,963 but it's not for les enfantes. 783 00:37:45,063 --> 00:37:49,335 I think it will be a trip just for your mother and me. 784 00:37:49,435 --> 00:37:51,370 Jacques is joking. 785 00:37:51,470 --> 00:37:53,305 Of course we can all go together. 786 00:37:53,405 --> 00:37:55,040 The children would love it. 787 00:37:55,140 --> 00:37:56,808 Ah, the children? 788 00:37:56,908 --> 00:37:57,843 Of course. 789 00:37:57,943 --> 00:37:59,144 Can we go, Mom? 790 00:37:59,244 --> 00:38:01,680 Just the three of us? 791 00:38:01,780 --> 00:38:02,914 Madam. 792 00:38:03,014 --> 00:38:10,356 Lua-- ah-- the custom is to prepare the food 793 00:38:10,456 --> 00:38:16,261 in an emu, or underground oven. 794 00:38:16,362 --> 00:38:17,996 Sounds-- wonderful. 795 00:38:18,096 --> 00:38:21,132 Doesn't it, children? 796 00:38:21,232 --> 00:38:22,033 [gasping] 797 00:38:22,133 --> 00:38:22,968 Gross. 798 00:38:25,771 --> 00:38:33,078 It is normally served with a mashed taro root, or poi. 799 00:38:33,178 --> 00:38:34,646 [farting sound] 800 00:38:34,746 --> 00:38:36,014 Gah! 801 00:38:36,114 --> 00:38:38,950 [farting sound] 802 00:38:39,050 --> 00:38:39,951 Plug it! 803 00:38:40,051 --> 00:38:41,953 Plug it up! 804 00:38:42,053 --> 00:38:43,555 Ah! 805 00:38:43,655 --> 00:38:44,956 Whoa! 806 00:38:45,056 --> 00:38:45,957 Ah! 807 00:38:46,057 --> 00:38:46,892 Hot piggy. 808 00:38:46,992 --> 00:38:47,959 Hot piggy. 809 00:38:48,059 --> 00:38:48,960 Oh, lord! 810 00:38:49,060 --> 00:38:49,928 Stay with me! 811 00:38:50,028 --> 00:38:51,329 Stay with me! 812 00:38:51,430 --> 00:38:53,532 [screaming] 813 00:38:55,434 --> 00:38:57,936 [screaming] 814 00:38:59,471 --> 00:39:01,106 I cannot organize the world. I cannot the world. 815 00:39:01,206 --> 00:39:02,941 I cannot-- [bang] 816 00:39:06,712 --> 00:39:09,615 I think you'll find that I've just won the bet. 817 00:39:19,558 --> 00:39:21,092 Oh, I'm so sorry. 818 00:39:21,192 --> 00:39:24,262 Here, let me help you. 819 00:39:24,362 --> 00:39:25,731 Imbecile! 820 00:39:25,831 --> 00:39:27,966 But no, you do not want to [inaudible]. 821 00:39:31,369 --> 00:39:33,939 I just wanted to make a nice dinner. 822 00:39:34,039 --> 00:39:35,674 Sort of a thank you. 823 00:39:35,774 --> 00:39:37,409 Well, maybe if I talk to Mom? 824 00:39:37,509 --> 00:39:38,744 Would that help? 825 00:39:38,844 --> 00:39:39,478 Naw. 826 00:39:39,578 --> 00:39:41,146 I'm a screw up. 827 00:39:41,246 --> 00:39:42,581 I've done this before. 828 00:39:42,681 --> 00:39:45,116 You blew up another pig? 829 00:39:45,216 --> 00:39:48,119 Bedtime, Bates. 830 00:39:48,219 --> 00:39:49,287 Good luck. 831 00:39:49,387 --> 00:39:51,022 Can you give me one good reason why 832 00:39:51,122 --> 00:39:53,058 I shouldn't fire you right now? 833 00:39:53,158 --> 00:39:53,959 Yes. 834 00:39:54,059 --> 00:39:55,093 OK. 835 00:39:55,193 --> 00:39:57,829 I'm listening. 836 00:39:57,929 --> 00:39:59,765 Can I have till tomorrow morning? 837 00:39:59,865 --> 00:40:02,934 This is a complete disaster area. 838 00:40:03,034 --> 00:40:08,039 My pristine dining room is covered in pig shrapnel! 839 00:40:08,139 --> 00:40:09,107 I'll clean it up. 840 00:40:09,207 --> 00:40:10,141 You'd better. 841 00:40:10,241 --> 00:40:14,813 Every-- shred. 842 00:40:14,913 --> 00:40:15,781 Oh. 843 00:40:15,881 --> 00:40:17,182 And Bob? 844 00:40:17,282 --> 00:40:23,254 I think it's best if you never, ever, ever cook anything again. 845 00:40:23,354 --> 00:40:24,155 Yes, ma'am. 846 00:40:27,859 --> 00:40:29,127 [knocking] 847 00:40:33,632 --> 00:40:34,833 Thought you should know-- 848 00:40:34,933 --> 00:40:35,801 Closed door. 849 00:40:35,901 --> 00:40:37,035 Big hint. 850 00:40:37,135 --> 00:40:38,570 I'm staying. 851 00:40:38,670 --> 00:40:40,606 I thought service were meant to be seen, and not heard? 852 00:40:45,677 --> 00:40:47,045 Hey, these are great. 853 00:40:47,145 --> 00:40:48,213 Hey! 854 00:40:48,313 --> 00:40:49,147 Give me that. 855 00:40:49,247 --> 00:40:50,415 It's private. 856 00:40:50,516 --> 00:40:52,117 Don't get your knickers in a knot. 857 00:40:59,558 --> 00:41:00,659 Watch. Watch. 858 00:41:00,759 --> 00:41:01,392 Watch. 859 00:41:01,493 --> 00:41:02,393 Watch. 860 00:41:02,494 --> 00:41:03,495 Watch. 861 00:41:06,164 --> 00:41:06,965 OK. 862 00:41:10,869 --> 00:41:12,771 SINGER: Take your time today. 863 00:41:12,871 --> 00:41:18,944 There's no hurry, you can wait a while. 864 00:41:19,044 --> 00:41:22,914 If only for a smile. 865 00:41:23,014 --> 00:41:23,915 I'll get this! 866 00:41:24,015 --> 00:41:24,916 Whoa! 867 00:41:25,016 --> 00:41:26,317 Oh-- 868 00:41:26,417 --> 00:41:27,318 All right! 869 00:41:27,418 --> 00:41:28,219 There you go. 870 00:41:28,319 --> 00:41:30,889 Oh! 871 00:41:30,989 --> 00:41:31,890 Geez. 872 00:41:31,990 --> 00:41:32,891 Ah! 873 00:41:32,991 --> 00:41:33,825 Sorry. 874 00:41:44,369 --> 00:41:45,270 Hm? 875 00:41:45,370 --> 00:41:47,272 Ah-ha. 876 00:41:47,372 --> 00:41:50,241 Ah-ha. 877 00:41:50,341 --> 00:41:51,242 I'm watching. 878 00:41:56,347 --> 00:41:57,816 [phone ringing] 879 00:41:57,916 --> 00:41:59,217 Hello? 880 00:41:59,317 --> 00:42:00,852 Hi, Mom. 881 00:42:00,952 --> 00:42:02,921 I'm in a tree. 882 00:42:03,021 --> 00:42:04,189 [laughter] 883 00:42:04,289 --> 00:42:06,124 Miss Tess. 884 00:42:06,224 --> 00:42:08,059 There you go. 885 00:42:08,159 --> 00:42:09,427 Bates, there you are. 886 00:42:09,527 --> 00:42:11,029 Bates! 887 00:42:11,129 --> 00:42:11,997 Nice hat. 888 00:42:19,738 --> 00:42:21,206 Five in a row. 889 00:42:31,983 --> 00:42:33,852 [humming] 890 00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:37,155 Wanna shoot some balls with me? 891 00:42:37,255 --> 00:42:38,156 Sure. 892 00:42:38,256 --> 00:42:40,125 [squeaking] 893 00:42:42,193 --> 00:42:43,228 What's that? 894 00:42:43,328 --> 00:42:44,763 What? 895 00:42:44,863 --> 00:42:48,867 Have you got a remote controlled ball? 896 00:42:48,967 --> 00:42:49,567 Rascal? 897 00:42:49,668 --> 00:42:51,269 Who's Rascal? 898 00:42:51,369 --> 00:42:52,804 Rascal! 899 00:42:52,904 --> 00:42:53,739 Rascal! 900 00:42:57,142 --> 00:42:58,977 [squeaking] 901 00:43:00,045 --> 00:43:01,046 Rascal! 902 00:43:01,146 --> 00:43:02,147 Rascal! 903 00:43:02,247 --> 00:43:04,082 [squeaking] 904 00:43:05,583 --> 00:43:06,584 Rascal! 905 00:43:09,054 --> 00:43:09,888 BATES: Bob! 906 00:43:13,291 --> 00:43:14,392 Rascal! 907 00:43:14,492 --> 00:43:16,928 Rascal! 908 00:43:17,028 --> 00:43:18,864 Bob! 909 00:43:18,964 --> 00:43:20,832 Bob! 910 00:43:20,932 --> 00:43:22,200 Rascal! 911 00:43:22,300 --> 00:43:23,134 Rascal! 912 00:43:34,112 --> 00:43:36,114 Poor thing. 913 00:43:36,214 --> 00:43:38,149 Someone's been a very naughty butler. 914 00:43:45,757 --> 00:43:48,393 [heavy breathing] 915 00:43:48,493 --> 00:43:49,427 Rascal. 916 00:43:49,527 --> 00:43:51,062 Rascal. 917 00:43:51,162 --> 00:43:53,598 He licked the jar right out of Newton's hand, 918 00:43:53,699 --> 00:43:56,735 sliming his palm with a streak of black gob. 919 00:43:56,835 --> 00:43:58,603 Perhaps the most disgusting thing 920 00:43:58,704 --> 00:44:00,772 Newton had experienced since the time 921 00:44:00,872 --> 00:44:03,174 he mistakenly ate a maggot. 922 00:44:03,274 --> 00:44:04,342 Hi, guys. 923 00:44:04,442 --> 00:44:05,911 How was your day? 924 00:44:06,011 --> 00:44:09,447 Anything interesting happen? 925 00:44:09,547 --> 00:44:10,448 The usual. 926 00:44:10,548 --> 00:44:11,382 Ah. 927 00:44:16,287 --> 00:44:19,124 Why aren't you our dad? 928 00:44:19,224 --> 00:44:22,527 Just didn't happen yet. 929 00:44:22,627 --> 00:44:25,697 [off-key music] 930 00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:36,374 Bob? 931 00:44:36,474 --> 00:44:37,308 Bob? 932 00:44:42,347 --> 00:44:43,181 Too loud? 933 00:44:43,281 --> 00:44:44,149 Uh, no. 934 00:44:44,249 --> 00:44:47,685 No, just, uh-- just, it's really-- 935 00:44:47,786 --> 00:44:50,255 really horrible. 936 00:44:50,355 --> 00:44:51,556 I love the trumpet. 937 00:44:51,656 --> 00:44:53,058 Then you should practice. 938 00:44:53,158 --> 00:44:54,860 Yeah. 939 00:44:54,960 --> 00:45:02,067 Um-- Bob, you must think I'm a really horrible mother. 940 00:45:02,167 --> 00:45:03,001 No. 941 00:45:03,101 --> 00:45:05,336 Well, it wasn't an easy decision. 942 00:45:05,436 --> 00:45:06,872 Sure. 943 00:45:06,972 --> 00:45:09,808 It's not like time was exactly on my side, so I-- 944 00:45:09,908 --> 00:45:10,942 thought I'd do it on-- 945 00:45:11,042 --> 00:45:12,643 Hey. 946 00:45:12,744 --> 00:45:13,979 You're-- you're blessed. 947 00:45:17,448 --> 00:45:18,283 Sorry. 948 00:45:18,383 --> 00:45:21,619 I, uh-- spoke out of turn. 949 00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:22,888 Zip. 950 00:45:22,988 --> 00:45:24,722 That's all right. 951 00:45:24,823 --> 00:45:26,024 Thank you. 952 00:45:26,124 --> 00:45:28,493 Can I ask you a question? 953 00:45:28,593 --> 00:45:29,795 Yeah. 954 00:45:29,895 --> 00:45:32,497 What's capital management? 955 00:45:32,597 --> 00:45:36,134 [laughter] 956 00:45:36,234 --> 00:45:36,835 Bye! 957 00:45:36,935 --> 00:45:38,403 Thanks for the lift! 958 00:45:38,503 --> 00:45:40,738 See you later. 959 00:45:40,839 --> 00:45:42,307 Bye bye. 960 00:45:42,407 --> 00:45:45,243 [phone ringing] 961 00:45:48,646 --> 00:45:50,448 Hello, Judith. 962 00:45:50,548 --> 00:45:52,483 I'll be about an hour, or so. 963 00:45:52,583 --> 00:45:54,119 It can wait. 964 00:45:54,219 --> 00:45:55,186 Yeah. 965 00:45:55,286 --> 00:45:56,454 I'll be on my cell phone if you need me. 966 00:45:56,554 --> 00:45:57,388 OK. 967 00:45:57,488 --> 00:45:59,657 Bye. 968 00:45:59,757 --> 00:46:00,558 Oh! 969 00:46:00,658 --> 00:46:02,961 [car alarm] 970 00:46:04,362 --> 00:46:05,396 Oh! 971 00:46:05,496 --> 00:46:08,934 Oh-- Well, I can't come to a meeting with stains 972 00:46:09,034 --> 00:46:11,469 on my blouse, now, can I? 973 00:46:11,569 --> 00:46:12,670 I'm back, Bob. 974 00:46:12,770 --> 00:46:14,539 I'm just going to take a quick bath. 975 00:46:14,639 --> 00:46:16,707 I'll be there as soon as I can. 976 00:46:16,808 --> 00:46:18,810 [humming] 977 00:46:26,617 --> 00:46:29,320 (SINGING) I'll be over at 10, they tell me time and again. 978 00:46:29,420 --> 00:46:30,555 I can't wait. 979 00:46:34,525 --> 00:46:36,995 [air blowing] 980 00:46:43,601 --> 00:46:47,672 Why do you build me up, buttercup, baby, just to-- 981 00:46:47,772 --> 00:46:50,241 [screaming] 982 00:46:54,712 --> 00:46:56,114 Can I get you some towels, ma'am? 983 00:46:56,214 --> 00:46:57,048 Uh-huh! 984 00:47:12,797 --> 00:47:14,132 Don't get that flipping burgers. 985 00:47:18,469 --> 00:47:22,941 And then I deep right, cut left, and slam dunked. 986 00:47:23,041 --> 00:47:27,412 Who traded in my geek brother for a jock geek brother? 987 00:47:27,512 --> 00:47:28,613 Hey. 988 00:47:28,713 --> 00:47:29,948 Where are you all going on a Sunday? 989 00:47:30,048 --> 00:47:32,317 - Basketball tryouts. - Well, I'll drive you. 990 00:47:32,417 --> 00:47:33,584 Let me get my purse. 991 00:47:33,684 --> 00:47:36,654 I wanna go with Bob. 992 00:47:36,754 --> 00:47:37,622 OK. 993 00:47:37,722 --> 00:47:39,624 Uh-- what about you, Tess? 994 00:47:39,724 --> 00:47:41,626 I arranged to meet Sophie. 995 00:47:41,726 --> 00:47:44,162 Don't you have work to do? 996 00:47:44,262 --> 00:47:44,896 Nope. 997 00:47:44,996 --> 00:47:47,332 Amazingly. 998 00:47:47,432 --> 00:47:48,533 All right, well-- 999 00:47:48,633 --> 00:47:50,701 I'll see you later. 1000 00:47:50,801 --> 00:47:53,304 [phone ringing] 1001 00:47:55,273 --> 00:47:56,107 Oui? 1002 00:47:56,207 --> 00:47:57,342 Hello? 1003 00:47:57,442 --> 00:47:58,576 Anne? 1004 00:47:58,676 --> 00:47:59,945 What's wrong? 1005 00:48:00,045 --> 00:48:03,048 I've got the whole day free, and I'm lonely! 1006 00:48:07,585 --> 00:48:10,888 Ah-- it's so nice to do something for myself 1007 00:48:10,989 --> 00:48:12,457 for a change. 1008 00:48:12,557 --> 00:48:15,493 We'll go out and find a nice, quiet place. 1009 00:48:15,593 --> 00:48:17,996 Oh, this is lovely. 1010 00:48:18,096 --> 00:48:20,565 This is nice. 1011 00:48:20,665 --> 00:48:23,101 Now, this is relaxing. 1012 00:48:23,201 --> 00:48:27,505 This-- Take me home. 1013 00:48:27,605 --> 00:48:29,774 What? 1014 00:48:29,874 --> 00:48:31,242 I-- I can't be here without them. 1015 00:48:31,342 --> 00:48:34,479 I-- I just can't enjoy myself without the kids. 1016 00:48:34,579 --> 00:48:36,982 I mean, you know, I just can't. - Let's go. 1017 00:48:37,082 --> 00:48:38,849 OK, Jacques, I have children. 1018 00:48:38,950 --> 00:48:40,018 I love them. 1019 00:48:40,118 --> 00:48:41,219 They're not just going to disappear. 1020 00:48:41,319 --> 00:48:42,988 You would prefer that I disappear? 1021 00:48:43,088 --> 00:48:44,755 Examine the situation. 1022 00:48:44,855 --> 00:48:47,858 One, you are a single woman. 1023 00:48:47,959 --> 00:48:53,631 Very beautiful, true, but very, very anal. 1024 00:48:53,731 --> 00:48:54,532 Anal. 1025 00:48:54,632 --> 00:48:56,101 I'm anal. 1026 00:48:56,201 --> 00:49:01,672 Two-- your children, they are not beautiful. 1027 00:49:01,772 --> 00:49:04,575 Just annoying. 1028 00:49:04,675 --> 00:49:05,743 Three-- if I go-- 1029 00:49:05,843 --> 00:49:07,212 I'll take three. 1030 00:49:07,312 --> 00:49:08,113 You go. 1031 00:49:08,213 --> 00:49:08,980 Now. 1032 00:49:09,080 --> 00:49:11,049 Take a cab. 1033 00:49:11,149 --> 00:49:14,852 Anne, you are a single woman of a certain age. 1034 00:49:14,952 --> 00:49:17,388 You will not find another man. 1035 00:49:17,488 --> 00:49:22,560 Statistically, you have a better chance of being hit by a truck. 1036 00:49:22,660 --> 00:49:23,995 One driven by Bob. 1037 00:49:33,304 --> 00:49:34,339 So? 1038 00:49:34,439 --> 00:49:35,740 So, what? 1039 00:49:35,840 --> 00:49:36,774 How'd it go? 1040 00:49:36,874 --> 00:49:38,509 The tryouts. 1041 00:49:38,609 --> 00:49:40,545 There was no tryouts. 1042 00:49:40,645 --> 00:49:44,649 The coach had already decided who was on the team. 1043 00:49:44,749 --> 00:49:45,550 What? 1044 00:49:45,650 --> 00:49:48,786 That's not fair. 1045 00:49:48,886 --> 00:49:50,388 Wait here. 1046 00:49:50,488 --> 00:49:53,058 You're not going to embarrass me? 1047 00:49:53,158 --> 00:49:56,261 You bet I am. 1048 00:49:56,361 --> 00:49:57,562 Hey! 1049 00:49:57,662 --> 00:49:59,097 You the coach? 1050 00:49:59,197 --> 00:50:00,698 Who's asking? 1051 00:50:00,798 --> 00:50:01,599 The name's Tree. 1052 00:50:05,503 --> 00:50:07,105 Bob? 1053 00:50:07,205 --> 00:50:10,275 Bob the mascot? 1054 00:50:10,375 --> 00:50:11,276 Jerry? 1055 00:50:11,376 --> 00:50:12,643 Yeah! 1056 00:50:12,743 --> 00:50:15,113 [laughter] 1057 00:50:16,914 --> 00:50:18,083 Yeah. 1058 00:50:18,183 --> 00:50:20,185 What happened to the Bismarck Barbarians? 1059 00:50:20,285 --> 00:50:23,254 Ah-- I left not long after the owner fired you. 1060 00:50:23,354 --> 00:50:24,422 He was a real a-hole. 1061 00:50:24,522 --> 00:50:25,356 I know. 1062 00:50:25,456 --> 00:50:27,292 I know. 1063 00:50:27,392 --> 00:50:28,893 I've still got your helmet, though. 1064 00:50:28,993 --> 00:50:30,461 You want to see it? 1065 00:50:30,561 --> 00:50:32,897 You bet. 1066 00:50:32,997 --> 00:50:34,499 It's about Bates. 1067 00:50:34,599 --> 00:50:35,633 Bates Jamieson. 1068 00:50:35,733 --> 00:50:36,534 Pull up a chair. 1069 00:50:42,840 --> 00:50:44,842 Put it on. 1070 00:50:44,942 --> 00:50:47,778 OK. 1071 00:50:47,878 --> 00:50:49,147 Yeah. 1072 00:50:49,247 --> 00:50:50,915 Still fits like a glove. 1073 00:50:51,015 --> 00:50:54,352 A really-- weird glove. 1074 00:50:54,452 --> 00:50:56,821 It took them two hours to remove that from his buttocks. 1075 00:50:56,921 --> 00:50:59,924 Yeah, I probably shouldn't have left it on his chair. 1076 00:51:00,024 --> 00:51:02,993 So, what about the Jamieson kid? 1077 00:51:03,094 --> 00:51:05,896 He wants to try out for the team. 1078 00:51:05,996 --> 00:51:07,098 He's kinda small. 1079 00:51:10,668 --> 00:51:13,338 Why is it impossible to say no to you? 1080 00:51:13,438 --> 00:51:14,139 [laughter] 1081 00:51:14,239 --> 00:51:15,340 All right. 1082 00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:16,274 Yeah! 1083 00:51:19,110 --> 00:51:20,478 All right. 1084 00:51:20,578 --> 00:51:21,712 [whistle] 1085 00:51:21,812 --> 00:51:22,647 Go ahead. 1086 00:51:28,153 --> 00:51:31,122 BOB: Come on, Bates. 1087 00:51:31,222 --> 00:51:33,424 He's a little nervous. 1088 00:51:33,524 --> 00:51:34,992 Put one in the net there, Bates! 1089 00:51:35,092 --> 00:51:36,361 Put one in the net, there. 1090 00:51:48,773 --> 00:51:50,241 How you doing? 1091 00:51:50,341 --> 00:51:52,277 The coach hates me. 1092 00:51:52,377 --> 00:51:53,911 Forget about him, OK? 1093 00:51:54,011 --> 00:51:55,246 It's just you and me. 1094 00:51:55,346 --> 00:51:57,081 Just like at home. 1095 00:51:57,182 --> 00:51:58,883 Come on. 1096 00:51:58,983 --> 00:52:00,418 Come on, let's go. 1097 00:52:00,518 --> 00:52:01,186 Come on! 1098 00:52:01,286 --> 00:52:02,887 Like we practiced. 1099 00:52:02,987 --> 00:52:04,155 Come on. 1100 00:52:04,255 --> 00:52:05,756 Hey! You're too-- 1101 00:52:05,856 --> 00:52:06,957 Oh, you got. You got it. 1102 00:52:07,057 --> 00:52:08,159 Take it around me. Take it around me. 1103 00:52:08,259 --> 00:52:09,360 Take it around me. Take it around me. 1104 00:52:09,460 --> 00:52:10,195 Take it around me. Take it around me. 1105 00:52:10,295 --> 00:52:11,262 Take it around me. 1106 00:52:11,362 --> 00:52:12,096 Take it around me. Put it in. 1107 00:52:12,197 --> 00:52:12,730 Put it in the net. 1108 00:52:12,830 --> 00:52:13,498 Come on. 1109 00:52:13,598 --> 00:52:14,131 No fancy stuff. 1110 00:52:14,232 --> 00:52:17,435 Put it in the net. 1111 00:52:17,535 --> 00:52:18,169 Yeah! 1112 00:52:18,269 --> 00:52:19,069 All right! 1113 00:52:19,170 --> 00:52:20,871 I got one! 1114 00:52:20,971 --> 00:52:21,972 Two points. 1115 00:52:22,072 --> 00:52:22,907 Two points. 1116 00:52:26,744 --> 00:52:29,647 Hey, Tess. 1117 00:52:29,747 --> 00:52:32,183 Been shopping? 1118 00:52:32,283 --> 00:52:35,119 What is that, a wristband? 1119 00:52:35,220 --> 00:52:36,587 Pair of socks? 1120 00:52:36,687 --> 00:52:37,555 Mom! 1121 00:52:37,655 --> 00:52:38,556 Is it a bib? 1122 00:52:38,656 --> 00:52:39,290 Hey. 1123 00:52:39,390 --> 00:52:40,558 How were the tryouts? 1124 00:52:40,658 --> 00:52:41,459 Great! 1125 00:52:41,559 --> 00:52:42,460 Good. 1126 00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:44,094 I've made salmon skewers. - Salmon? 1127 00:52:44,195 --> 00:52:45,129 I'll tell Tess. 1128 00:52:45,230 --> 00:52:46,264 What? 1129 00:52:49,033 --> 00:52:49,934 BOB: Hey, Tess? 1130 00:52:50,034 --> 00:52:51,202 Don't come in. 1131 00:52:51,302 --> 00:52:53,003 Your mother made a barbecue. 1132 00:52:53,103 --> 00:52:53,904 I'll be down in five. 1133 00:53:01,979 --> 00:53:03,314 [humming] 1134 00:53:06,016 --> 00:53:09,387 Would you like to join us, Bob? 1135 00:53:09,487 --> 00:53:11,956 Please. 1136 00:53:12,056 --> 00:53:14,559 We'd like you to. 1137 00:53:14,659 --> 00:53:16,661 Thank you. 1138 00:53:16,761 --> 00:53:19,564 Real nice of you to have made these salmon skewers, isn't it, 1139 00:53:19,664 --> 00:53:21,632 kids? 1140 00:53:21,732 --> 00:53:22,633 And a green salad. 1141 00:53:22,733 --> 00:53:23,534 Yeah. 1142 00:53:26,170 --> 00:53:27,238 That was delicious. 1143 00:53:27,338 --> 00:53:29,006 Well, I should have made hot dogs. 1144 00:53:29,106 --> 00:53:29,940 No, no. 1145 00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:31,442 It was really good. 1146 00:53:31,542 --> 00:53:32,142 Oh. 1147 00:53:32,243 --> 00:53:33,110 You missed a spot. 1148 00:53:33,210 --> 00:53:34,044 Where? 1149 00:53:34,144 --> 00:53:36,914 Right there. 1150 00:53:37,014 --> 00:53:41,352 You know, Tess has drawn some amazing dress designs. 1151 00:53:41,452 --> 00:53:43,120 You should see her schoolbooks. 1152 00:53:43,220 --> 00:53:44,289 Schoolbooks? 1153 00:53:44,389 --> 00:53:46,524 Yeah, she draws in her schoolbooks. 1154 00:53:46,624 --> 00:53:48,926 TESS: You're such a liar! 1155 00:53:49,026 --> 00:53:51,929 You're such a stupid liar! - Tess! 1156 00:53:52,029 --> 00:53:52,830 It's not true! 1157 00:53:52,930 --> 00:53:55,099 I hate you, Bob! 1158 00:53:55,199 --> 00:53:56,066 Tess! 1159 00:53:56,166 --> 00:53:58,769 Tess? 1160 00:53:58,869 --> 00:54:02,573 I guess that's what it's like having family, Rascal. 1161 00:54:02,673 --> 00:54:04,141 Ups and downs. 1162 00:54:04,241 --> 00:54:06,911 [knocking] Just a second. 1163 00:54:13,017 --> 00:54:15,420 Come in. 1164 00:54:15,520 --> 00:54:17,087 Hi. 1165 00:54:17,187 --> 00:54:18,356 I've spoken to Tess. 1166 00:54:18,456 --> 00:54:20,291 And she's shown me your drawings. 1167 00:54:20,391 --> 00:54:21,225 You're right. 1168 00:54:21,326 --> 00:54:22,827 They're amazing. 1169 00:54:22,927 --> 00:54:24,362 So, thank you for that. 1170 00:54:28,399 --> 00:54:31,569 Is something wrong? 1171 00:54:31,669 --> 00:54:35,105 Don't take this the wrong way, Bob. 1172 00:54:35,205 --> 00:54:37,207 You're the butler. 1173 00:54:37,308 --> 00:54:38,809 You're not her father. 1174 00:54:42,647 --> 00:54:44,715 I understand completely. 1175 00:54:47,852 --> 00:54:48,653 Thanks. 1176 00:54:51,722 --> 00:54:52,990 Goodnight, then. 1177 00:54:53,090 --> 00:54:53,991 Goodnight. 1178 00:55:03,334 --> 00:55:05,269 Why are we eating in here? 1179 00:55:05,370 --> 00:55:06,404 More coffee, ma'am? 1180 00:55:06,504 --> 00:55:07,938 - Oh, I'll get it. - Please, ma'am. 1181 00:55:08,038 --> 00:55:08,873 Leave it to me. 1182 00:55:15,279 --> 00:55:16,313 It's cool. 1183 00:55:19,950 --> 00:55:20,751 A new skirt? 1184 00:55:20,851 --> 00:55:21,686 Yeah. 1185 00:55:21,786 --> 00:55:22,620 Like it. 1186 00:55:22,720 --> 00:55:23,388 No. 1187 00:55:23,488 --> 00:55:24,555 It's like theirs. 1188 00:55:24,655 --> 00:55:27,825 That's the point, stupid. 1189 00:55:27,925 --> 00:55:30,461 So, you coming to watch me get my nose pierced? 1190 00:55:30,561 --> 00:55:33,030 Not on this planet. 1191 00:55:33,130 --> 00:55:35,366 Tomorrow after school, OK? 1192 00:55:35,466 --> 00:55:37,301 [bell ringing] 1193 00:55:37,402 --> 00:55:40,204 Bye. 1194 00:55:40,304 --> 00:55:42,807 You're hanging with the clone Barbies now? 1195 00:55:42,907 --> 00:55:45,810 Maybe when I'm in tighter I'll put in a good word for you, 1196 00:55:45,910 --> 00:55:47,578 and you can hang with? 1197 00:55:47,678 --> 00:55:50,815 I liked you because I thought you were an individual. 1198 00:55:50,915 --> 00:55:53,117 Like me. 1199 00:55:53,217 --> 00:55:54,585 Now you're just more like pathetic. 1200 00:56:08,198 --> 00:56:10,067 Stop! 1201 00:56:10,167 --> 00:56:13,037 Excuse me. 1202 00:56:13,137 --> 00:56:14,972 Kate, is the fruit washed? 1203 00:56:15,072 --> 00:56:17,141 Judith, did you wash the fruit? 1204 00:56:17,241 --> 00:56:18,142 It's pre-washed. 1205 00:56:18,242 --> 00:56:19,877 Pre-washed? Pre-washed? 1206 00:56:19,977 --> 00:56:20,845 Pre-washed. 1207 00:56:25,916 --> 00:56:27,418 I do not want to lose this deal because one 1208 00:56:27,518 --> 00:56:29,887 of my investors has the runs. 1209 00:56:29,987 --> 00:56:30,821 The runs? 1210 00:56:34,859 --> 00:56:37,161 Done. 1211 00:56:37,261 --> 00:56:38,829 Done. 1212 00:56:38,929 --> 00:56:39,764 Done. 1213 00:56:44,234 --> 00:56:45,135 [squeak] 1214 00:56:45,235 --> 00:56:47,738 [screaming] 1215 00:56:55,212 --> 00:56:57,114 Rodent! 1216 00:56:57,214 --> 00:56:58,115 Rodent! 1217 00:56:58,215 --> 00:56:59,517 Huge rodent! 1218 00:56:59,617 --> 00:57:01,218 Where is he? 1219 00:57:01,318 --> 00:57:02,119 Oh! 1220 00:57:02,219 --> 00:57:03,521 Huge! 1221 00:57:03,621 --> 00:57:05,122 [inaudible] - Rascal! 1222 00:57:05,222 --> 00:57:06,156 Rat! Rat! 1223 00:57:06,256 --> 00:57:07,124 Rascal, don't do this to me. 1224 00:57:07,224 --> 00:57:09,093 Furry thing on the table! 1225 00:57:09,193 --> 00:57:10,027 He's on the table! 1226 00:57:10,127 --> 00:57:11,095 Hold it! 1227 00:57:11,195 --> 00:57:12,730 What are you doing, Bob? 1228 00:57:12,830 --> 00:57:13,498 Don't move. 1229 00:57:13,598 --> 00:57:14,999 What are you doing, Bob? 1230 00:57:15,099 --> 00:57:16,000 [squeak] 1231 00:57:18,068 --> 00:57:19,604 [squeaking] 1232 00:57:20,404 --> 00:57:22,873 [screaming] 1233 00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:24,441 Rascal. 1234 00:57:27,311 --> 00:57:28,846 [phone ringing] 1235 00:57:28,946 --> 00:57:29,747 Oh, jeez. 1236 00:57:33,217 --> 00:57:34,351 I guess this is urgent? 1237 00:57:34,451 --> 00:57:36,020 Of course it's urgent. 1238 00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:37,121 Stay calm, Anne. 1239 00:57:37,221 --> 00:57:38,489 Do not explode. 1240 00:57:38,589 --> 00:57:39,456 Too late. 1241 00:57:39,557 --> 00:57:40,891 I've already exploded. 1242 00:57:40,991 --> 00:57:41,926 I've dumped Jacques, and I've kicked out the hamster. 1243 00:57:42,026 --> 00:57:42,860 What hamster? 1244 00:57:42,960 --> 00:57:44,929 Oh, keep up. Bob's taken over. 1245 00:57:45,029 --> 00:57:46,430 He spends more time with my kids than-- 1246 00:57:46,531 --> 00:57:47,998 Than you do? 1247 00:57:48,098 --> 00:57:49,066 Than butling. 1248 00:57:49,166 --> 00:57:50,400 It's exasperating. 1249 00:57:50,501 --> 00:57:51,802 Have you fired him? 1250 00:57:51,902 --> 00:57:53,370 I told him the hamster has to leave immediately, 1251 00:57:53,470 --> 00:57:56,406 and I want this whole house disinfected from top to bottom. 1252 00:57:56,507 --> 00:57:57,441 Ah. 1253 00:57:57,542 --> 00:57:59,944 Sounds like someone has a crush. 1254 00:58:00,044 --> 00:58:00,678 Huh? 1255 00:58:00,778 --> 00:58:01,679 I'm paying you for this? 1256 00:58:01,779 --> 00:58:02,913 I'm not paying you for this. 1257 00:58:03,013 --> 00:58:05,883 Don't you dare bill me for this call! 1258 00:58:05,983 --> 00:58:06,817 Ridiculous! 1259 00:58:13,457 --> 00:58:15,826 Oh, Rascal. 1260 00:58:15,926 --> 00:58:16,961 Who let you out? 1261 00:58:26,671 --> 00:58:28,105 You know what, Tess? 1262 00:58:28,205 --> 00:58:29,840 That was out of order. 1263 00:58:29,940 --> 00:58:33,010 If I was your father, you would be in so much trouble. 1264 00:58:33,110 --> 00:58:33,944 You dig? 1265 00:58:34,044 --> 00:58:34,845 It wasn't me. 1266 00:58:34,945 --> 00:58:37,114 Yeah, whatever. 1267 00:58:37,214 --> 00:58:38,048 Whatever. 1268 00:58:51,128 --> 00:58:52,563 Bates? 1269 00:58:52,663 --> 00:58:53,664 Was it you? 1270 00:58:56,500 --> 00:58:57,902 Aw, Bates, why? 1271 00:58:58,002 --> 00:58:59,403 Come on. 1272 00:58:59,503 --> 00:59:00,537 Talk to me, buddy. 1273 00:59:03,774 --> 00:59:04,975 I didn't make the team. 1274 00:59:07,645 --> 00:59:08,478 You didn't? 1275 00:59:08,579 --> 00:59:09,880 OK. 1276 00:59:09,980 --> 00:59:11,348 That's a shame. 1277 00:59:11,448 --> 00:59:13,117 I didn't make the team! 1278 00:59:13,217 --> 00:59:14,551 You said I would! 1279 00:59:14,652 --> 00:59:16,086 Well, I never said that. 1280 00:59:16,186 --> 00:59:18,222 I said I would help. 1281 00:59:18,322 --> 00:59:20,691 I said I would try. 1282 00:59:20,791 --> 00:59:23,594 Well, I wasn't good enough. 1283 00:59:23,694 --> 00:59:25,462 Not being good enough is-- 1284 00:59:25,562 --> 00:59:26,964 life. 1285 00:59:27,064 --> 00:59:29,600 But you'll find you're good at something. 1286 00:59:29,700 --> 00:59:31,168 Everybody's good at something. 1287 00:59:31,268 --> 00:59:32,102 Oh. 1288 00:59:32,202 --> 00:59:33,638 What are you good at? 1289 00:59:37,742 --> 00:59:41,045 I can catch grapes my mouth. 1290 00:59:41,145 --> 00:59:42,647 [laughter] 1291 00:59:48,518 --> 00:59:49,353 Mom? 1292 00:59:53,390 --> 00:59:56,661 I put Rascal in your room. 1293 00:59:56,761 --> 01:00:00,264 I didn't make the team. 1294 01:00:00,364 --> 01:00:01,766 OK. 1295 01:00:01,866 --> 01:00:03,533 It doesn't matter, though. 1296 01:00:03,634 --> 01:00:05,269 I'll find something to be good at. 1297 01:00:31,896 --> 01:00:34,965 Hello, Mr. Butler? Bob here. 1298 01:00:48,145 --> 01:00:49,013 [squeak] 1299 01:00:50,881 --> 01:00:54,151 You'll look after him? 1300 01:00:54,251 --> 01:00:54,985 Of course. 1301 01:00:55,085 --> 01:00:57,888 Can I make you a cup of tea? 1302 01:00:57,988 --> 01:00:58,723 Ah. 1303 01:00:58,823 --> 01:01:01,826 We have a regular little butler. 1304 01:01:01,926 --> 01:01:04,328 What's your name, master? 1305 01:01:04,428 --> 01:01:06,296 It's Bates. 1306 01:01:06,396 --> 01:01:08,899 Just Bates. 1307 01:01:08,999 --> 01:01:09,800 Hm. 1308 01:01:17,574 --> 01:01:20,811 You're gonna be just fine. 1309 01:01:20,911 --> 01:01:22,446 It's, like, an initiation thing. 1310 01:01:27,918 --> 01:01:29,086 I'll start you a room. 1311 01:01:36,560 --> 01:01:39,196 [knocking] How's everything going? 1312 01:01:39,296 --> 01:01:40,097 It's fine. 1313 01:01:40,197 --> 01:01:41,031 Thanks. 1314 01:01:59,116 --> 01:01:59,817 Let's go. 1315 01:01:59,917 --> 01:02:01,218 You got the stuff? 1316 01:02:01,318 --> 01:02:04,254 No problem. 1317 01:02:04,354 --> 01:02:06,123 [alarm] 1318 01:02:06,223 --> 01:02:07,391 Security! 1319 01:02:07,491 --> 01:02:09,259 [screaming] 1320 01:02:09,359 --> 01:02:10,227 Let me go! 1321 01:02:10,327 --> 01:02:11,796 You guys lied! 1322 01:02:16,533 --> 01:02:17,367 Purple. 1323 01:02:17,467 --> 01:02:18,302 Purple for general. 1324 01:02:18,402 --> 01:02:19,870 What? 1325 01:02:19,970 --> 01:02:24,241 Purple for general, yellow for kitchen, blue for bathroom. 1326 01:02:24,341 --> 01:02:25,943 Purple for general. 1327 01:02:26,043 --> 01:02:26,743 Right. 1328 01:02:26,844 --> 01:02:29,346 [phone ringing] 1329 01:02:32,449 --> 01:02:33,350 Hello? 1330 01:02:33,450 --> 01:02:36,320 Hey, Bob! 1331 01:02:36,420 --> 01:02:39,556 It's for you. - Hello. 1332 01:02:39,656 --> 01:02:41,191 Jamieson family butler speaking. 1333 01:02:44,328 --> 01:02:45,129 I'll be right there. 1334 01:02:48,232 --> 01:02:49,333 I have to go. 1335 01:02:49,433 --> 01:02:51,635 Will you be OK with Mr. Butler for a while? 1336 01:02:51,735 --> 01:02:54,404 Sure. 1337 01:02:54,504 --> 01:02:55,940 Come on, Bates. 1338 01:02:56,040 --> 01:02:59,509 When we're finished here, I'll teach you how to publish 1339 01:02:59,609 --> 01:03:02,112 silver by spitting on it. 1340 01:03:02,212 --> 01:03:03,047 Cool! 1341 01:03:03,147 --> 01:03:03,981 Yeah. 1342 01:03:07,684 --> 01:03:08,618 Hey! 1343 01:03:08,718 --> 01:03:11,455 I'm looking for Tess Jamieson. 1344 01:03:11,555 --> 01:03:12,756 Tough love. 1345 01:03:12,857 --> 01:03:14,558 We give kids a dose of reality, scare 'em 1346 01:03:14,658 --> 01:03:16,060 straight before it's too late. 1347 01:03:16,160 --> 01:03:17,594 This one's not like that. 1348 01:03:17,694 --> 01:03:19,429 Oh, so you're one of those "always looking for the best 1349 01:03:19,529 --> 01:03:20,430 in people" guys, huh? 1350 01:03:34,711 --> 01:03:35,779 Don't worry about it. 1351 01:03:35,880 --> 01:03:36,947 This'll be our little secret. 1352 01:03:39,783 --> 01:03:41,785 Bob, I'm sorry-- 1353 01:03:41,886 --> 01:03:43,954 about everything. 1354 01:03:44,054 --> 01:03:47,124 I lied-- about the luau. 1355 01:03:47,224 --> 01:03:49,894 Our mom's practically a vegetarian. 1356 01:03:49,994 --> 01:03:51,195 I guess she is now. 1357 01:03:51,295 --> 01:03:52,129 Come on. 1358 01:03:52,229 --> 01:03:53,063 Let's go. 1359 01:04:09,980 --> 01:04:12,516 Oh my god. 1360 01:04:12,616 --> 01:04:14,451 Bates! 1361 01:04:14,551 --> 01:04:15,419 I'm standing still, Mom. 1362 01:04:15,519 --> 01:04:16,987 I can be a butler. 1363 01:04:19,823 --> 01:04:22,326 Good evening, Miss Jamieson. 1364 01:04:22,426 --> 01:04:23,327 [clattering] 1365 01:04:30,767 --> 01:04:31,868 [pop] 1366 01:04:32,769 --> 01:04:34,438 Tess, where have you been? 1367 01:04:34,538 --> 01:04:36,706 I got hung up at Sophie's. 1368 01:04:36,806 --> 01:04:38,442 Bob came and got me. 1369 01:04:38,542 --> 01:04:40,344 In that? 1370 01:04:40,444 --> 01:04:41,611 Both of you inside, now! 1371 01:04:46,416 --> 01:04:49,253 Bob, I have known for quite some time 1372 01:04:49,353 --> 01:04:51,956 that you're not the world's greatest butler, 1373 01:04:52,056 --> 01:04:55,025 but you at least seem to care for my kids. 1374 01:04:55,125 --> 01:04:57,427 What kind of a man leaves an eight-year-old 1375 01:04:57,527 --> 01:04:59,663 with a total stranger? 1376 01:04:59,763 --> 01:05:00,965 Stranger? 1377 01:05:01,065 --> 01:05:02,499 What am I saying? 1378 01:05:02,599 --> 01:05:05,335 A psycho, who thinks that standing on the roof of a house 1379 01:05:05,435 --> 01:05:08,505 is good training? 1380 01:05:08,605 --> 01:05:09,639 I'm sorry, Anne. 1381 01:05:09,739 --> 01:05:12,142 Miss Jamieson. 1382 01:05:12,242 --> 01:05:17,514 I'm truly sorry, Miss Jamieson. 1383 01:05:17,614 --> 01:05:19,083 I have to let you go, Bob. 1384 01:05:21,885 --> 01:05:24,688 I'll pay you to the end of the month, but-- 1385 01:05:24,788 --> 01:05:26,023 I want you to leave in the morning. 1386 01:06:39,529 --> 01:06:41,431 Let's not get ourselves down, Rascal. 1387 01:06:41,531 --> 01:06:43,967 You keep going. 1388 01:06:44,068 --> 01:06:46,603 And I'll keep going. 1389 01:06:46,703 --> 01:06:48,505 [squeaking] 1390 01:06:50,474 --> 01:06:52,942 To the end of ATBJ Capital Management. 1391 01:06:53,043 --> 01:06:54,078 Finally! 1392 01:06:56,580 --> 01:06:58,382 Mm. 1393 01:06:58,482 --> 01:06:59,283 OK. 1394 01:07:02,286 --> 01:07:04,754 I don't feel like celebrating. 1395 01:07:13,730 --> 01:07:15,232 [knocking] 1396 01:07:17,667 --> 01:07:19,703 Ah. 1397 01:07:19,803 --> 01:07:21,004 Why aren't you in school? 1398 01:07:21,105 --> 01:07:22,139 Lunch. 1399 01:07:22,239 --> 01:07:23,707 What are you doing? 1400 01:07:23,807 --> 01:07:25,542 Lunch. 1401 01:07:25,642 --> 01:07:27,844 Welcome to my home. 1402 01:07:27,944 --> 01:07:29,146 Nice. 1403 01:07:29,246 --> 01:07:31,215 My natural state is messy. 1404 01:07:31,315 --> 01:07:33,617 I'm sorry you got fired. 1405 01:07:33,717 --> 01:07:38,054 I just wanted the cool kids to like me. 1406 01:07:38,155 --> 01:07:39,923 You know, when I was a kid, I used 1407 01:07:40,023 --> 01:07:42,692 to like building model cars. 1408 01:07:42,792 --> 01:07:47,697 But there was always one piece, I could never figure out 1409 01:07:47,797 --> 01:07:50,066 where it was supposed to go. 1410 01:07:50,167 --> 01:07:52,836 I always felt like that piece. 1411 01:07:52,936 --> 01:07:56,005 I've spent my whole life trying to figure out where I fit, 1412 01:07:56,106 --> 01:07:58,942 so when you figure it out-- 1413 01:07:59,042 --> 01:08:03,913 well, that's good. 1414 01:08:04,013 --> 01:08:06,082 So you're saying it's good to shoplift 1415 01:08:06,183 --> 01:08:10,053 if it helps you fit in? 1416 01:08:10,154 --> 01:08:12,722 I worked for a New York designer once. 1417 01:08:12,822 --> 01:08:13,757 You? 1418 01:08:13,857 --> 01:08:14,958 Yeah. 1419 01:08:15,058 --> 01:08:16,293 I was just sewing, but it was better 1420 01:08:16,393 --> 01:08:18,662 than a lot of jobs I've done. 1421 01:08:18,762 --> 01:08:19,896 Here. 1422 01:08:19,996 --> 01:08:23,800 Severance pay from the sweat shop. 1423 01:08:23,900 --> 01:08:25,935 Bob? 1424 01:08:26,035 --> 01:08:27,437 Can you teach me how to sew? 1425 01:08:40,584 --> 01:08:41,751 Sorry for skipping out on you. 1426 01:08:41,851 --> 01:08:42,752 Yeah. 1427 01:08:42,852 --> 01:08:45,555 We were, like, so cowardly. 1428 01:08:45,655 --> 01:08:47,056 This is ace. 1429 01:08:47,157 --> 01:08:48,625 Did you steal it? 1430 01:08:48,725 --> 01:08:49,526 I made it. 1431 01:08:49,626 --> 01:08:51,094 Shut up. 1432 01:08:51,195 --> 01:08:52,362 I want one. 1433 01:08:52,462 --> 01:08:53,563 Me too. 1434 01:08:53,663 --> 01:08:56,032 Then wouldn't she be wearing the same top? 1435 01:08:56,132 --> 01:08:57,434 Yeah. 1436 01:08:57,534 --> 01:08:58,335 Like a club. 1437 01:09:04,241 --> 01:09:05,342 Hey, Soph. 1438 01:09:09,213 --> 01:09:10,414 [whirring] 1439 01:09:10,514 --> 01:09:11,114 Ah! 1440 01:09:11,215 --> 01:09:12,716 [knocking] 1441 01:09:15,185 --> 01:09:16,853 I had the best day. 1442 01:09:16,953 --> 01:09:18,988 Great. 1443 01:09:19,088 --> 01:09:20,290 He followed me. 1444 01:09:20,390 --> 01:09:22,025 I want to be good at something. 1445 01:09:22,125 --> 01:09:23,293 Well of course you do. 1446 01:09:26,663 --> 01:09:29,433 You ever seen one of these before? 1447 01:09:29,533 --> 01:09:31,268 Check, check, check, check. 1448 01:09:31,368 --> 01:09:33,169 Check, check. Check, check. 1449 01:09:33,270 --> 01:09:34,404 Does it look all right? 1450 01:09:34,504 --> 01:09:35,405 Wicked. 1451 01:09:35,505 --> 01:09:36,673 I hope you're ready. 1452 01:09:36,773 --> 01:09:37,774 Oh, god. 1453 01:09:37,874 --> 01:09:40,176 It's showtime. 1454 01:09:40,277 --> 01:09:43,046 Thank you for coming, ladies and-- 1455 01:09:43,146 --> 01:09:44,481 just lady. 1456 01:09:44,581 --> 01:09:48,752 I am pleased to present original creations by Tess. 1457 01:09:55,425 --> 01:09:58,895 In a stunning outfit of skirt and top, retro chick. 1458 01:09:58,995 --> 01:10:00,497 That's our Sophie. 1459 01:10:00,597 --> 01:10:01,231 [clapping] 1460 01:10:01,331 --> 01:10:03,633 Chic, not chick. 1461 01:10:03,733 --> 01:10:05,034 Whatever. 1462 01:10:05,134 --> 01:10:08,638 And next up, the twins of evil. 1463 01:10:08,738 --> 01:10:09,839 Oh! 1464 01:10:09,939 --> 01:10:11,441 [applause] 1465 01:10:12,909 --> 01:10:18,715 And finally, the heroine of the hour, the one and only Miss 1466 01:10:18,815 --> 01:10:20,116 Tess! 1467 01:10:20,216 --> 01:10:22,686 [clapping] 1468 01:10:36,065 --> 01:10:38,935 [off-key music] 1469 01:10:45,375 --> 01:10:47,477 [knocking] 1470 01:10:52,916 --> 01:10:54,484 Miss Jamieson. 1471 01:10:54,584 --> 01:10:58,688 Yeah, I was just in the neighborhood. 1472 01:10:58,788 --> 01:11:01,057 I wasn't, obviously. 1473 01:11:01,157 --> 01:11:03,893 I came to see you. 1474 01:11:03,993 --> 01:11:04,861 Come on in. 1475 01:11:12,802 --> 01:11:13,670 Here we are. 1476 01:11:19,075 --> 01:11:20,477 She's very talented. 1477 01:11:20,577 --> 01:11:23,747 You've been so good with them. 1478 01:11:23,847 --> 01:11:26,182 But I know the truth. 1479 01:11:26,282 --> 01:11:29,319 I just helped her make a few dresses. 1480 01:11:29,419 --> 01:11:32,956 You got my little girl out of jail. 1481 01:11:33,056 --> 01:11:37,594 I got a phone call this morning from a Detective Alvarez. 1482 01:11:37,694 --> 01:11:40,196 He said that he wished that half the fathers that he met 1483 01:11:40,296 --> 01:11:43,933 were as loyal and determined as you. 1484 01:11:44,033 --> 01:11:46,370 Don't be too hard on her. 1485 01:11:46,470 --> 01:11:48,738 I think you know me better than that. 1486 01:11:48,838 --> 01:11:50,306 I do. 1487 01:11:50,407 --> 01:11:52,175 So, what's next for you? 1488 01:11:52,275 --> 01:11:53,443 Well, I've got a job. 1489 01:11:53,543 --> 01:11:56,112 One of those butler cruises. 1490 01:11:56,212 --> 01:11:59,248 Around the world in 365 days. 1491 01:11:59,349 --> 01:12:03,753 Well, uh-- that's good for you. 1492 01:12:03,853 --> 01:12:05,188 When do you leave? 1493 01:12:05,288 --> 01:12:08,324 First thing Saturday. 1494 01:12:08,425 --> 01:12:12,796 Oh, um-- well, these are for tomorrow. 1495 01:12:15,732 --> 01:12:16,966 Oh, wow. 1496 01:12:17,066 --> 01:12:18,101 I love the trumpet. 1497 01:12:18,201 --> 01:12:19,235 Yeah. 1498 01:12:19,335 --> 01:12:20,704 Jacques and I were supposed to go, 1499 01:12:20,804 --> 01:12:23,006 but I thought maybe you had someone special. 1500 01:12:25,675 --> 01:12:26,510 No. 1501 01:12:31,280 --> 01:12:32,482 Well, I guess we, um-- 1502 01:12:32,582 --> 01:12:34,551 we each could take one. 1503 01:12:34,651 --> 01:12:35,485 Sure. 1504 01:12:38,788 --> 01:12:41,090 OK, then. 1505 01:12:41,190 --> 01:12:43,660 OK. 1506 01:12:43,760 --> 01:12:46,129 OK, well, I'll see you there, then. 1507 01:12:46,229 --> 01:12:47,597 8:00 tomorrow. 1508 01:12:47,697 --> 01:12:48,498 OK. 1509 01:12:55,338 --> 01:12:57,373 It's not a date. 1510 01:12:57,474 --> 01:12:58,307 It's a date. 1511 01:12:58,408 --> 01:12:59,275 It is not. 1512 01:12:59,375 --> 01:13:00,444 Is. 1513 01:13:00,544 --> 01:13:01,678 It's not a date. 1514 01:13:01,778 --> 01:13:02,646 A date? 1515 01:13:02,746 --> 01:13:03,379 Ha. 1516 01:13:03,480 --> 01:13:04,981 We're just two people. 1517 01:13:05,081 --> 01:13:08,818 Two individual people who happen to be going to the same place 1518 01:13:08,918 --> 01:13:10,319 at the same time. 1519 01:13:10,420 --> 01:13:12,856 All I did was give Bob my extra ticket. 1520 01:13:12,956 --> 01:13:15,391 It's so a date. 1521 01:13:15,492 --> 01:13:16,660 Who's going on a date? 1522 01:13:16,760 --> 01:13:17,393 Mom. 1523 01:13:17,494 --> 01:13:18,995 With Bob. 1524 01:13:19,095 --> 01:13:19,996 Awesome! 1525 01:13:24,067 --> 01:13:26,570 [phone ringing] 1526 01:13:28,438 --> 01:13:29,673 Hello? 1527 01:13:29,773 --> 01:13:33,309 JACQUES: What are you doing at this moment? 1528 01:13:33,409 --> 01:13:34,511 [beep] 1529 01:13:35,311 --> 01:13:37,481 [toilet flushing] 1530 01:13:39,382 --> 01:13:40,684 Ew. 1531 01:13:40,784 --> 01:13:43,352 I'm taking care of my family. 1532 01:13:43,453 --> 01:13:46,155 I'm a single woman of a certain age, remember? 1533 01:13:46,255 --> 01:13:50,760 Ah, tonight we have those, uh, tickets to the concert. 1534 01:13:50,860 --> 01:13:51,561 Bye, Jacques. 1535 01:13:51,661 --> 01:13:53,229 You will not use them. 1536 01:13:53,329 --> 01:13:55,331 You would not go alone. 1537 01:13:55,431 --> 01:13:57,834 Are you-- going alone? 1538 01:13:57,934 --> 01:14:00,169 Are you jealous, my little Jacques? 1539 01:14:00,269 --> 01:14:01,404 Oh, easy. 1540 01:14:01,505 --> 01:14:03,507 (FRENCH ACCENT) "Roberre." 1541 01:14:04,373 --> 01:14:06,042 Roberre? 1542 01:14:06,142 --> 01:14:06,943 Boberre? 1543 01:14:10,013 --> 01:14:12,081 Bob? 1544 01:14:12,181 --> 01:14:15,985 It's just a night out with a beautiful woman, 1545 01:14:16,085 --> 01:14:18,488 who's stolen my heart. 1546 01:14:18,588 --> 01:14:19,455 [squeaking] 1547 01:14:19,556 --> 01:14:21,991 [knocking] 1548 01:14:26,496 --> 01:14:28,297 I've got a doorbell, you know? 1549 01:14:28,397 --> 01:14:30,166 [knocking] 1550 01:14:32,168 --> 01:14:33,036 We're here to help. 1551 01:14:33,136 --> 01:14:34,504 Let's see what you've got. 1552 01:14:34,604 --> 01:14:38,041 Could you have knocked a little more, maybe? 1553 01:14:38,141 --> 01:14:39,142 Ugly. 1554 01:14:39,242 --> 01:14:40,143 Ew. 1555 01:14:40,243 --> 01:14:41,344 No. 1556 01:14:41,444 --> 01:14:42,846 Tragic. 1557 01:14:42,946 --> 01:14:44,113 Ew. 1558 01:14:44,213 --> 01:14:45,214 Gross. 1559 01:14:45,314 --> 01:14:46,115 No. 1560 01:14:48,351 --> 01:14:49,619 What's wrong with this? 1561 01:14:49,719 --> 01:14:51,955 I'm kind of bored of suits, you know? 1562 01:14:52,055 --> 01:14:53,256 It's perfect. 1563 01:14:53,356 --> 01:14:55,224 What time is the concert? 1564 01:14:55,324 --> 01:14:57,193 Doesn't take me long to get ready. 1565 01:14:57,293 --> 01:14:58,127 Maybe it should. 1566 01:15:07,203 --> 01:15:08,404 Oh, hello, sir. 1567 01:15:08,504 --> 01:15:09,673 Can I help you? 1568 01:15:09,773 --> 01:15:13,877 This is the Cosmopolitan Butler School? 1569 01:15:13,977 --> 01:15:16,045 It is no more. 1570 01:15:16,145 --> 01:15:17,581 It is closing? 1571 01:15:17,681 --> 01:15:19,482 I'm afraid so. 1572 01:15:19,583 --> 01:15:22,819 Not enough filthy lucre to keep it alive. 1573 01:15:22,919 --> 01:15:27,456 So, you trained the great Bob? 1574 01:15:27,557 --> 01:15:30,259 What about Bob? 1575 01:15:30,359 --> 01:15:33,029 Five day course. 1576 01:15:33,129 --> 01:15:34,430 [french] 1577 01:15:34,530 --> 01:15:36,600 You're not a professional! 1578 01:15:36,700 --> 01:15:42,806 Just a sad British man with his sad little tradition. 1579 01:15:42,906 --> 01:15:47,276 So, now we have Bob the liar, too. 1580 01:15:47,376 --> 01:15:55,051 If I may say so, sir, Bob Tree is a finer man than most. 1581 01:15:55,151 --> 01:15:57,086 And it has been an honor to know him. 1582 01:15:57,186 --> 01:15:58,087 Oh, boo. 1583 01:16:04,093 --> 01:16:04,994 Wow. 1584 01:16:05,094 --> 01:16:07,563 Mom, is that you? 1585 01:16:07,664 --> 01:16:09,733 I'll take that as a compliment, I think. 1586 01:16:09,833 --> 01:16:12,468 Now, don't stay up too late. 1587 01:16:12,568 --> 01:16:13,637 You're sure it's not too much? 1588 01:16:13,737 --> 01:16:14,638 You're a hottie. 1589 01:16:14,738 --> 01:16:16,239 That's a good thing, right? 1590 01:16:16,339 --> 01:16:17,340 It's not too risque? 1591 01:16:17,440 --> 01:16:18,407 If you've got it, flaunt it. 1592 01:16:18,507 --> 01:16:20,443 That's what I always say. 1593 01:16:20,543 --> 01:16:23,312 You'd better not say that. 1594 01:16:23,412 --> 01:16:24,213 Goodnight. 1595 01:16:52,441 --> 01:16:53,276 You're early. 1596 01:16:56,746 --> 01:16:57,847 Yes, I am. 1597 01:17:34,450 --> 01:17:39,222 You look-- radiant. 1598 01:17:39,322 --> 01:17:40,690 You said it yourself. 1599 01:17:40,790 --> 01:17:42,225 I have a very talented daughter. 1600 01:17:45,729 --> 01:17:48,765 [trumpet music] 1601 01:18:02,045 --> 01:18:03,346 - Yeah, I couldn't believe it. - Whoa. 1602 01:18:03,446 --> 01:18:04,513 Ticket please, sir. 1603 01:18:04,613 --> 01:18:05,715 Oh, my-- my ticket, it's in there. 1604 01:18:05,815 --> 01:18:06,950 Bob has it. 1605 01:18:07,050 --> 01:18:07,784 Bob who? 1606 01:18:07,884 --> 01:18:09,052 Uh, Bob has my ticket. Bob. 1607 01:18:09,152 --> 01:18:11,220 Bob. Bob. 1608 01:18:11,320 --> 01:18:12,155 Oh-- 1609 01:18:18,627 --> 01:18:19,528 Forget it. 1610 01:18:19,628 --> 01:18:21,130 Oh, come on. 1611 01:18:21,230 --> 01:18:24,133 [trumpet music] 1612 01:18:52,528 --> 01:18:54,030 It's like a dream, isn't it? 1613 01:18:58,534 --> 01:19:01,004 [trumpet music] 1614 01:19:04,107 --> 01:19:06,409 [applause] 1615 01:19:09,578 --> 01:19:11,114 You want to go backstage? 1616 01:19:11,214 --> 01:19:12,748 I don't think we're allowed. 1617 01:19:12,849 --> 01:19:16,953 All right, we'll go backstage. 1618 01:19:17,053 --> 01:19:17,686 Bob? 1619 01:19:17,787 --> 01:19:19,222 Yeah! 1620 01:19:19,322 --> 01:19:19,956 Hi, Bob. 1621 01:19:20,056 --> 01:19:22,125 - How you doing? - Bob? 1622 01:19:22,225 --> 01:19:23,059 Bob! 1623 01:19:23,159 --> 01:19:24,527 Mama Clara. 1624 01:19:24,627 --> 01:19:26,662 She fired me. 1625 01:19:26,762 --> 01:19:29,298 Are you sure we can do this? 1626 01:19:29,398 --> 01:19:30,466 Bob, is that you? 1627 01:19:30,566 --> 01:19:31,400 Vince. 1628 01:19:34,103 --> 01:19:35,371 How you doing? - Good. 1629 01:19:35,471 --> 01:19:36,505 How are you? 1630 01:19:36,605 --> 01:19:37,740 Good to see ya. 1631 01:19:37,841 --> 01:19:39,475 I want you to meet a friend of mine. 1632 01:19:39,575 --> 01:19:41,277 Anne Jamieson. - Charmed. 1633 01:19:41,377 --> 01:19:42,611 The pleasure is mine. 1634 01:19:42,711 --> 01:19:44,948 You know, a few of us are going out for something to eat. 1635 01:19:45,048 --> 01:19:48,317 Would you and your date like to, uh, go with us? 1636 01:19:48,417 --> 01:19:49,485 She's not a date. 1637 01:19:49,585 --> 01:19:51,254 Uh, we'd love to. 1638 01:19:51,354 --> 01:19:52,788 Fantastic. 1639 01:19:52,889 --> 01:19:54,223 I-- I saw them go back there. 1640 01:19:54,323 --> 01:19:55,158 Who? 1641 01:19:55,258 --> 01:19:56,259 Oh, uh, Bob. 1642 01:19:56,359 --> 01:19:57,593 Bob. 1643 01:19:57,693 --> 01:19:58,862 Are-- are you deaf? 1644 01:19:58,962 --> 01:20:00,363 Hey! Hey! 1645 01:20:00,463 --> 01:20:01,330 Hey! 1646 01:20:01,430 --> 01:20:04,267 [excited shouting] 1647 01:20:12,241 --> 01:20:13,509 [laughter] 1648 01:20:13,609 --> 01:20:14,944 Whoa. 1649 01:20:15,044 --> 01:20:17,480 You seem like you know everyone in the whole city. 1650 01:20:17,580 --> 01:20:18,481 Yeah. 1651 01:20:18,581 --> 01:20:20,483 Well, I've been fired a lot. 1652 01:20:20,583 --> 01:20:22,351 [laughter] 1653 01:20:23,252 --> 01:20:25,288 It was a wonderful evening. 1654 01:20:25,388 --> 01:20:26,389 Oh, Anne, your dress. 1655 01:20:26,489 --> 01:20:27,323 Your dress. 1656 01:20:27,423 --> 01:20:30,726 Oh-- your dress. - Ah-- 1657 01:20:30,826 --> 01:20:32,095 Oh, jeez. 1658 01:20:32,195 --> 01:20:34,163 Did you and Tess plan this? 1659 01:20:34,263 --> 01:20:34,964 Yeah. 1660 01:20:35,064 --> 01:20:37,066 I-- I did teach her to sew. 1661 01:20:37,166 --> 01:20:38,467 Yeah? 1662 01:20:38,567 --> 01:20:39,468 Bob! 1663 01:20:39,568 --> 01:20:41,204 But not for long. 1664 01:20:41,304 --> 01:20:44,473 If I weren't a gentleman, I would kill you right now. 1665 01:20:44,573 --> 01:20:46,675 Oh, Jacques, this isn't any of your business. 1666 01:20:46,775 --> 01:20:48,577 It is my business. 1667 01:20:48,677 --> 01:20:49,745 Put some clothes on. 1668 01:20:49,845 --> 01:20:51,080 Don't you tell me what to do. 1669 01:20:51,180 --> 01:20:56,719 I'll-- run around stark naked, if I want to. 1670 01:20:56,819 --> 01:20:58,754 Anne, you have been fooled. 1671 01:20:58,854 --> 01:21:00,924 He is not a proper butler. 1672 01:21:01,024 --> 01:21:02,158 Maybe I should just go. 1673 01:21:02,258 --> 01:21:03,960 Oh, you think you can just sneak away? 1674 01:21:04,060 --> 01:21:05,494 After what you did? 1675 01:21:05,594 --> 01:21:09,698 You cannot take advantage of a middle aged woman! 1676 01:21:09,798 --> 01:21:11,800 I am not middle aged! 1677 01:21:11,901 --> 01:21:13,869 Am I? 1678 01:21:13,970 --> 01:21:16,572 You're beautiful. 1679 01:21:16,672 --> 01:21:18,441 And I'm going to hire Bob. 1680 01:21:18,541 --> 01:21:19,642 To do what? 1681 01:21:19,742 --> 01:21:21,444 He trained for five days. 1682 01:21:21,544 --> 01:21:22,511 Five! 1683 01:21:22,611 --> 01:21:23,646 Cinc! 1684 01:21:23,746 --> 01:21:25,548 You were going to hire me? 1685 01:21:25,648 --> 01:21:29,085 Well, you really care for my children, and they adore you. 1686 01:21:29,185 --> 01:21:29,986 Anne! 1687 01:21:30,086 --> 01:21:32,088 This situation is intolerable! 1688 01:21:32,188 --> 01:21:33,990 No, this situation is fine. 1689 01:21:34,090 --> 01:21:37,293 You are intolerable. 1690 01:21:37,393 --> 01:21:38,227 Ah. 1691 01:21:38,327 --> 01:21:40,429 So, finni? 1692 01:21:40,529 --> 01:21:41,830 Over! 1693 01:21:41,931 --> 01:21:43,232 Au revoir. 1694 01:21:43,332 --> 01:21:44,300 Good riddance! 1695 01:21:44,400 --> 01:21:45,234 Talk to my hand! 1696 01:21:48,504 --> 01:21:49,372 So, would you-- 1697 01:21:49,472 --> 01:21:51,140 come back to work? 1698 01:21:51,240 --> 01:21:53,009 The children miss you, and-- 1699 01:21:53,109 --> 01:21:55,678 well, we all miss you. 1700 01:21:55,778 --> 01:21:56,912 I can't. 1701 01:21:57,013 --> 01:21:58,814 I don't understand? 1702 01:21:58,914 --> 01:22:00,283 It wouldn't be appropriate. 1703 01:22:13,796 --> 01:22:16,499 Are you going after him? 1704 01:22:16,599 --> 01:22:18,567 He's leaving first thing in the morning. 1705 01:22:35,051 --> 01:22:37,553 Get up, Mom. 1706 01:22:37,653 --> 01:22:39,322 Tess, what are you doing? 1707 01:22:39,422 --> 01:22:42,758 Why did you work this hard, Mom? 1708 01:22:42,858 --> 01:22:44,893 You're all alone. 1709 01:22:44,994 --> 01:22:46,495 Mom, he's part of our family. 1710 01:22:57,873 --> 01:22:58,874 Stay here. 1711 01:22:58,974 --> 01:23:00,376 Go, Mom! 1712 01:23:00,476 --> 01:23:01,177 BATES: Go, Mom! 1713 01:23:01,277 --> 01:23:02,778 Go, Mom! Go, Mom! 1714 01:23:02,878 --> 01:23:03,779 Go, Mom! 1715 01:23:03,879 --> 01:23:04,780 Go, Mom! 1716 01:23:04,880 --> 01:23:05,681 Go, Mom! 1717 01:23:09,852 --> 01:23:11,354 Go, Mom! 1718 01:23:11,454 --> 01:23:12,355 Go, Mom! 1719 01:23:12,455 --> 01:23:13,422 Go, Mom! 1720 01:23:13,522 --> 01:23:14,357 Go, Mom! 1721 01:23:20,463 --> 01:23:21,364 Go, Mom! 1722 01:23:21,464 --> 01:23:22,265 Go, Mom! 1723 01:23:26,669 --> 01:23:27,503 What happened? 1724 01:23:31,440 --> 01:23:32,275 That happened. 1725 01:23:36,412 --> 01:23:38,614 That's the butler cruise. 1726 01:23:38,714 --> 01:23:39,715 You mean-- 1727 01:23:39,815 --> 01:23:40,616 Bob left? 1728 01:23:49,992 --> 01:23:51,394 What a mess! 1729 01:23:51,494 --> 01:23:52,328 A real mess. 1730 01:23:55,164 --> 01:23:56,299 It's a real mess. 1731 01:23:58,901 --> 01:24:02,105 Maybe he'll come back? 1732 01:24:02,205 --> 01:24:03,572 Get tidy, Anne. 1733 01:24:03,672 --> 01:24:04,507 Tidy. 1734 01:24:16,585 --> 01:24:17,420 I'm sorry, kids. 1735 01:24:17,520 --> 01:24:20,656 We lost Bob, and it's all my fault. 1736 01:24:20,756 --> 01:24:22,991 But I want to thank you both. 1737 01:24:23,092 --> 01:24:26,395 I love you so much. 1738 01:24:26,495 --> 01:24:29,165 Both of you. 1739 01:24:29,265 --> 01:24:30,766 Please don't look at me like that. 1740 01:24:36,639 --> 01:24:37,940 Huh. 1741 01:24:38,040 --> 01:24:40,509 They say that kids bounce back, but-- 1742 01:24:50,953 --> 01:24:51,787 Bob! 1743 01:24:55,424 --> 01:24:56,325 Bob! 1744 01:24:56,425 --> 01:24:57,193 Hi. 1745 01:24:57,293 --> 01:24:59,928 What about the butler cruise? 1746 01:25:00,028 --> 01:25:01,664 I couldn't leave. 1747 01:25:01,764 --> 01:25:02,998 Thought I'd stay. 1748 01:25:03,098 --> 01:25:04,267 Car washing? 1749 01:25:04,367 --> 01:25:07,136 Well, it's early on in the C's. 1750 01:25:23,519 --> 01:25:25,454 [laughter] 1751 01:25:26,289 --> 01:25:29,158 TESS: We love you, Mom! 1752 01:25:29,258 --> 01:25:31,727 [laughter] 1753 01:25:31,827 --> 01:25:33,529 Hey! 1754 01:25:33,629 --> 01:25:38,467 SINGER: This is a song about my desire to find work. 1755 01:25:38,567 --> 01:25:42,471 My desire to find a family. 1756 01:25:42,571 --> 01:25:45,874 For the food we are about to receive, and for my new dad, 1757 01:25:45,974 --> 01:25:47,710 Bob, we thank you, God. 1758 01:25:47,810 --> 01:25:48,644 Amen. 1759 01:25:48,744 --> 01:25:50,112 Amen. 1760 01:25:50,213 --> 01:25:53,482 Oh, honey-- why don't I carve? 1761 01:25:53,582 --> 01:25:54,783 Ahem. 1762 01:25:54,883 --> 01:25:56,785 That's a gentleman's job, ma'am. 1763 01:26:01,790 --> 01:26:02,658 SINGER: Check it. 1764 01:26:02,758 --> 01:26:05,194 [farting sound] 1765 01:26:06,662 --> 01:26:08,531 Not again! 1766 01:26:08,631 --> 01:26:10,466 No! 1767 01:26:10,566 --> 01:26:11,467 [pop] 1768 01:26:11,567 --> 01:26:12,835 [squishing] 1769 01:26:12,935 --> 01:26:16,272 Dinner is served. 1770 01:26:16,372 --> 01:26:17,673 SINGER: My name is Bob. 1771 01:26:17,773 --> 01:26:18,907 I'm looking for a job. 1772 01:26:19,007 --> 01:26:20,776 When I'm not getting fired, I'm living like a slob. 1773 01:26:20,876 --> 01:26:23,779 Go through the phonebook looking for work. 1774 01:26:23,879 --> 01:26:26,415 I wanna be an astronaut, like Captain Kirk. 1775 01:26:26,515 --> 01:26:28,284 Flip burgers to make me a buck. 1776 01:26:28,384 --> 01:26:30,118 I burned down the restaurant. 1777 01:26:30,219 --> 01:26:31,320 It's just my luck. 1778 01:26:31,420 --> 01:26:34,257 I got another occupation under my belt. 1779 01:26:34,357 --> 01:26:35,891 Keeping a job for two weeks, I'm doing well. 1780 01:26:35,991 --> 01:26:39,262 Like the time at the barber shop, gave it all I got. 1781 01:26:39,362 --> 01:26:41,697 Chopped off an earlobe. It bled a lot. 1782 01:26:41,797 --> 01:26:43,065 He never said a lot. 1783 01:26:43,165 --> 01:26:47,336 He just screamed, and got blood on my brand new blue jeans. 1784 01:26:47,436 --> 01:26:49,238 Oh, golly, gee, did it again. 1785 01:26:49,338 --> 01:26:52,140 I talk to my hamster, my only friend. 1786 01:26:52,241 --> 01:26:54,209 Go through the phonebook again, like a fool, 1787 01:26:54,310 --> 01:26:55,344 and I see something. 1788 01:26:55,444 --> 01:26:57,313 It's butler school! 1789 01:26:57,413 --> 01:26:59,014 My name is Bob, and I'm looking like a slob. 1790 01:26:59,114 --> 01:27:00,283 Bob! 1791 01:27:00,383 --> 01:27:01,484 My name is Bob, and I need to get a job. 1792 01:27:01,584 --> 01:27:02,285 Bob! 1793 01:27:02,385 --> 01:27:03,185 My name is Bob, not Bobert. 1794 01:27:03,286 --> 01:27:04,487 Just Bob. 1795 01:27:04,587 --> 01:27:06,088 My name is Bob, and I need to get a job. 1796 01:27:06,188 --> 01:27:07,390 Bob! 1797 01:27:07,490 --> 01:27:08,857 My name is Bob, and I'm looking like a slob. 1798 01:27:08,957 --> 01:27:10,125 Bob! 1799 01:27:10,225 --> 01:27:11,460 My name is Bob, and I need to get a job. 1800 01:27:11,560 --> 01:27:12,261 Bob! 1801 01:27:12,361 --> 01:27:13,662 My name is Bob, not Bobert. 1802 01:27:13,762 --> 01:27:14,730 Just Bob. 1803 01:27:14,830 --> 01:27:16,865 My name is Bob, and I need to get a job. 1804 01:27:16,965 --> 01:27:18,100 So I jumped on my motorbike. 1805 01:27:18,200 --> 01:27:19,268 Gonna be a butler. 1806 01:27:19,368 --> 01:27:20,436 Went to the school. 1807 01:27:20,536 --> 01:27:22,237 It was like no other. 1808 01:27:22,338 --> 01:27:24,072 They made me balance plates on my head. 1809 01:27:24,172 --> 01:27:25,374 Yeah! 1810 01:27:25,474 --> 01:27:27,410 They made me make a naked dude get dressed. 1811 01:27:27,510 --> 01:27:29,745 He dressed me up in a suit and a vest. 1812 01:27:29,845 --> 01:27:32,014 Took me to the rooftop for a test. 1813 01:27:32,114 --> 01:27:33,682 Made me climb to the edge real slow. 1814 01:27:33,782 --> 01:27:34,750 Ha! 1815 01:27:34,850 --> 01:27:36,652 Looked at the ground, and I got vertigo. 1816 01:27:36,752 --> 01:27:39,254 I thought about a woman that I met the other day, 1817 01:27:39,355 --> 01:27:41,089 and the vertigo stopped spinning. 1818 01:27:41,189 --> 01:27:42,325 It went away. What? 1819 01:27:42,425 --> 01:27:43,292 It felt real good. 1820 01:27:43,392 --> 01:27:44,460 What can I say? 1821 01:27:44,560 --> 01:27:45,761 I think I'm gonna be a butler. 1822 01:27:45,861 --> 01:27:48,397 I'm on my way, cause my name is Bob, 1823 01:27:48,497 --> 01:27:49,665 and I'm looking like a slob. 1824 01:27:49,765 --> 01:27:50,733 Bob! 1825 01:27:50,833 --> 01:27:51,934 My name is Bob, and I need to get a job. 1826 01:27:52,034 --> 01:27:52,835 Bob! 1827 01:27:52,935 --> 01:27:53,769 My name is Bob. 1828 01:27:53,869 --> 01:27:54,837 Not Bobert, just Bob. 1829 01:27:54,937 --> 01:27:57,105 My name is Bob, and I need to get a job. 1830 01:27:57,205 --> 01:27:58,407 Bob! 1831 01:27:58,507 --> 01:27:59,808 My name is Bob, and I'm looking like a slob. 1832 01:27:59,908 --> 01:28:00,876 Bob! 1833 01:28:00,976 --> 01:28:02,378 My name is Bob, and I need to get a job. 1834 01:28:02,478 --> 01:28:03,812 Bob! My name is Bob, not Bobert. 1835 01:28:03,912 --> 01:28:04,880 Just Bob. 1836 01:28:04,980 --> 01:28:07,550 My name is Bob, and I need to get a job. 1837 01:28:07,650 --> 01:28:10,486 Went to the place, and I got a job on the spot. 1838 01:28:10,586 --> 01:28:12,955 Living in the attic, I didn't need a lot. 1839 01:28:13,055 --> 01:28:14,390 Take the duster, dust. 1840 01:28:14,490 --> 01:28:15,624 I attack this. 1841 01:28:15,724 --> 01:28:17,660 Drive the kids to basketball practice. 1842 01:28:17,760 --> 01:28:20,429 I make dinner, some kind of luau. 1843 01:28:20,529 --> 01:28:22,465 I wanna make the lady say wow! 1844 01:28:22,565 --> 01:28:25,133 But the lady comes home and the pig explodes. 1845 01:28:25,233 --> 01:28:27,803 Messed up again, that's all she wrote. 1846 01:28:27,903 --> 01:28:30,906 Pretty soon I'll be back on the street, looking 1847 01:28:31,006 --> 01:28:32,775 for a job with nothing to eat. 1848 01:28:32,875 --> 01:28:35,544 And maybe I could be a rapper, rapping on the beat. 1849 01:28:35,644 --> 01:28:37,480 Get you on the dance floor, moving your feet. 1850 01:28:37,580 --> 01:28:38,581 Ha! 1851 01:28:38,681 --> 01:28:39,782 My name is Bob, and I'm looking like a slob. 1852 01:28:39,882 --> 01:28:40,849 Bob! 1853 01:28:40,949 --> 01:28:42,084 My name is Bob, and I need to get a job. 1854 01:28:42,184 --> 01:28:43,051 Bob! 1855 01:28:43,151 --> 01:28:44,319 My name is Bob, not Bobert. 1856 01:28:44,420 --> 01:28:45,253 Just Bob. 1857 01:28:45,354 --> 01:28:46,522 Bob! 1858 01:28:46,622 --> 01:28:47,823 My name is Bob, and I need to get a job. 1859 01:28:47,923 --> 01:28:48,924 Bob! 1860 01:28:49,024 --> 01:28:49,792 My name is Bob, and I'm looking like a slob. 1861 01:28:49,892 --> 01:28:50,859 Bob! 1862 01:28:50,959 --> 01:28:52,194 My name is Bob, and I need to get a job. 1863 01:28:52,294 --> 01:28:53,095 Bob! 1864 01:28:53,195 --> 01:28:54,162 My name is Bob. 1865 01:28:54,262 --> 01:28:55,531 Not Bobert, just Bob. 1866 01:28:55,631 --> 01:28:57,900 My name is Bob, and I need to get a job. 1867 01:28:58,000 --> 01:28:59,702 My name is Bob, and I'm looking like a slob. 1868 01:28:59,802 --> 01:29:00,769 Bob! 1869 01:29:00,869 --> 01:29:01,970 My name is Bob, and I need to get a job. 1870 01:29:02,070 --> 01:29:03,806 Bob! My name is Bob. 1871 01:29:03,906 --> 01:29:05,574 Not Bobert, just Bob! 1872 01:29:05,674 --> 01:29:07,142 My name is Bob, and I need to get a job. 1873 01:29:07,242 --> 01:29:08,444 Bob! 1874 01:29:08,544 --> 01:29:09,878 My name is Bob, and I'm looking like a slob. 1875 01:29:09,978 --> 01:29:10,946 Bob! 1876 01:29:11,046 --> 01:29:12,481 My name is Bob, and I need to get a job. 1877 01:29:12,581 --> 01:29:13,849 Bob! My name is Bob. 1878 01:29:13,949 --> 01:29:15,484 Not Bobert, just Bob. 1879 01:29:15,584 --> 01:29:19,888 My name is Bob, and I need to get a job!