1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:24,074 © anoXmous @ http://thepiratebay.sx/user/Zen_Bud 2 00:01:50,009 --> 00:01:50,976 Yo. 3 00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:53,202 Hey, I was doing some research for next year... 4 00:01:53,413 --> 00:01:56,314 ...and I think I figured out which website I wanna subscribe to. 5 00:01:56,516 --> 00:01:59,542 - The Vag-tastic Voyage. - Which one is the Vag-tastic Voyage? 6 00:01:59,752 --> 00:02:01,515 The Vag-tastic Voyage is the one where... 7 00:02:01,721 --> 00:02:05,020 ...they find random girls on the street, and they invite them into a van... 8 00:02:05,225 --> 00:02:06,988 ...and then they bang them in the van. 9 00:02:07,193 --> 00:02:08,455 It's like 13 bucks a month... 10 00:02:08,661 --> 00:02:10,322 ...and you get access to other sites. 11 00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:14,830 Like one's Latina, one's Asian, you know, there's one for fetishes... 12 00:02:15,034 --> 00:02:17,525 ...like feet and pee-pee and shit and stuff like that. 13 00:02:17,737 --> 00:02:19,500 That's disgusting. You're like an animal. 14 00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:22,174 I'm- What? I'm disgusting? You're the weird one, man. 15 00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:24,343 Don't make me feel weird because I like porn. 16 00:02:24,544 --> 00:02:26,842 You're weird for not liking porn. I'm normal as shit. 17 00:02:27,046 --> 00:02:28,809 Peeing on people. That's normal? 18 00:02:29,015 --> 00:02:31,347 Evan, I'm not saying I'm gonna look at it. 19 00:02:31,551 --> 00:02:33,917 I'm just saying that it comes with the site, okay? 20 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:36,486 I don't know what I'm gonna be into 10 years from now. 21 00:02:36,689 --> 00:02:38,384 I'm just sick of all the amateur stuff. 22 00:02:38,591 --> 00:02:41,754 I mean, like, if I'm paying top dollar, I want a little production value. 23 00:02:41,961 --> 00:02:44,691 Like some editing, transition, something. Some music. 24 00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:48,732 Yeah, well, I'm sorry the Coen brothers don't direct the porn that I watch. 25 00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:50,493 They're hard to get ahold of, okay? 26 00:02:50,703 --> 00:02:53,536 Plus your parents are gonna be looking at the bill, dipshit. 27 00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:58,143 Yeah, you're right. I probably should pick the one with the least dirty name. 28 00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:02,439 What about, like, Perfect Ten? 29 00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:04,446 Something like that, you know? 30 00:03:04,651 --> 00:03:06,209 Like Perfect Ten? 31 00:03:06,419 --> 00:03:08,250 Because that could be any number of things. 32 00:03:08,454 --> 00:03:11,821 They can't really get you for that. That could be, like, a bowling website. 33 00:03:12,559 --> 00:03:16,051 Yeah, but they don't really show dick going in, which is a huge concern. 34 00:03:16,262 --> 00:03:17,229 I didn't realize that. 35 00:03:17,430 --> 00:03:19,990 Plus, have you ever seen a vagina by itself? 36 00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:22,596 Not for me. 37 00:03:22,802 --> 00:03:24,235 Hi. 38 00:03:25,104 --> 00:03:28,232 - Thanks for taking him, Seth. - No- No problem, Jane. 39 00:03:28,441 --> 00:03:30,671 - How are you? - Good. 40 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,469 Beautiful. 41 00:03:33,446 --> 00:03:35,073 - Don't touch that. - What are you-? 42 00:03:35,281 --> 00:03:37,374 - I'm not a piece of meat. - You two are funny. 43 00:03:38,184 --> 00:03:41,347 I can't imagine what you're gonna do without each other next year. 44 00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:43,579 Evan told me you didn't get into Dartmouth. 45 00:03:44,424 --> 00:03:48,451 I got into some schools, some pretty good ones. So I'll be fine. 46 00:03:48,661 --> 00:03:51,653 - You gonna miss each other? - No. Miss each other? No, thank you. 47 00:03:51,864 --> 00:03:53,422 I don't- I don't miss each other. 48 00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:55,430 I'm gonna cry myself to sleep every night. 49 00:03:55,635 --> 00:03:57,193 - Me too. - When I'm out partying. 50 00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:58,995 Go to school, boys. 51 00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:02,166 - Bye, Mom. - Bye, Jane. 52 00:04:03,509 --> 00:04:08,208 I am truly jealous you got to suck on those tits when you were a baby. 53 00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:11,315 Yeah, well, at least you got to suck on your dad's dick. 54 00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:25,655 Hey, Seth, you can't park in the faculty lot. 55 00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:28,766 Don't be such a vagine, man. I gotta get a Red Bull before class. 56 00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:32,927 You're being an idiot. You shouldn't have parked there. 57 00:04:33,139 --> 00:04:34,663 Fuck it. I'm about to graduate. 58 00:04:34,874 --> 00:04:37,638 They should be sucking on my ball sac. 59 00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:41,572 It's the least they could do for stealing three years of my life. 60 00:04:44,684 --> 00:04:48,245 - Oh, fuck me. - Look at those nipples. 61 00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:50,388 They're like little baby toes. 62 00:04:50,590 --> 00:04:52,649 It's not fair they get to flaunt that stuff... 63 00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:54,952 ...and I have to hide every erection I get. 64 00:04:55,161 --> 00:04:57,789 You know what I do? I flip my boner up into my waistband. 65 00:04:57,997 --> 00:04:59,988 It hides it and it feels awesome. 66 00:05:00,199 --> 00:05:02,633 I almost blew a load into my bellybutton. 67 00:05:02,835 --> 00:05:05,804 I mean, just imagine if girls weren't weirded out by our boners... 68 00:05:06,005 --> 00:05:07,666 ...and just, like, wanted to see them. 69 00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:10,968 I mean, that's the world I one day wanna live in. 70 00:05:11,177 --> 00:05:14,305 It's been two years since I've seen an actual human female nipple. 71 00:05:14,514 --> 00:05:16,482 Shauna? Shauna was two years ago now? 72 00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:17,650 Yeah. 73 00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:20,284 Yeah, I guess so. But she was insanely hot. 74 00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:23,683 Exactly. She was too hot, okay? That's what sucks. 75 00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:26,154 How can that suck? I'd be psyched if I got with her. 76 00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:27,849 You got, like, two dozen handjobs. 77 00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:30,757 Yes, and three-quarters of a blowjob, but who's counting? 78 00:05:30,963 --> 00:05:33,056 Look, it was the peak of my ass-getting career... 79 00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:34,824 ...and it happened way too early. 80 00:05:35,034 --> 00:05:36,968 - You're like Orson Welles. - Exactly! 81 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,661 If I'd paced myself, I'd be having at least steady sex... 82 00:05:39,872 --> 00:05:41,169 ...With a decent-looking girl. 83 00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:44,343 I honestly see now why Orson Welles ate his fat ass to death. 84 00:05:44,544 --> 00:05:46,341 You'll have sex in college, everyone does. 85 00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:49,640 But the point is to be good at sex by the time you get to college. 86 00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:52,682 You don't want girls thinking you suck dick at fucking pussy. 87 00:05:52,885 --> 00:05:54,853 I still think you have a chance with Jules. 88 00:05:55,054 --> 00:05:56,851 She got incredibly hot over last summer... 89 00:05:57,056 --> 00:05:59,024 ...and she obviously hasn't realized it yet... 90 00:05:59,225 --> 00:06:01,887 ...because she's still talking to you and flirting with you. 91 00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:05,121 Are you out of your mind? Look at Jules' dating record, okay? 92 00:06:05,331 --> 00:06:08,664 She dated Dan Remick, who's had a six-pack since, like, kindergarten. 93 00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:12,429 Jason Stone, who looks like fucking Zack Morris. And Matt Muir. 94 00:06:12,638 --> 00:06:14,902 Matt Muir. He's the sweetest guy ever. 95 00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,939 Have you ever stared into his eyes? 96 00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:19,703 It was like the first time I heard the Beatles. 97 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,973 Why would she end her high school career with me? 98 00:06:23,182 --> 00:06:25,207 Becca dated Eric Rosecrantz for like two years. 99 00:06:25,418 --> 00:06:28,717 Yeah, but he's a fucking idiot. You're a step up from that dick-load. 100 00:06:28,921 --> 00:06:31,014 That's why you need to stop- Will you get this? 101 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,624 That's why you need to stop being a pussy and nail her. 102 00:06:33,826 --> 00:06:35,589 You could bang her before you leave. 103 00:06:35,795 --> 00:06:38,730 And I'm not gonna dance around it, she looks like a good fucker. 104 00:06:38,931 --> 00:06:41,331 I'm tired of you talking about her like that, man. 105 00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:44,992 What, you can talk about her all day and if I say one thing, it's blasphemy? 106 00:06:45,204 --> 00:06:46,762 Well, I don't constantly insult her. 107 00:06:46,973 --> 00:06:48,372 I'm not trying to insult her. 108 00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:51,099 I'm just saying that she looks like a good fucker, okay? 109 00:06:51,310 --> 00:06:52,834 She looks like she can take a dick. 110 00:06:53,045 --> 00:06:55,605 Some women pride themselves on their dick-taking abilities. 111 00:06:55,815 --> 00:06:58,716 Dick-taking abilities? You think that's good to say about someone? 112 00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:01,113 The fucked-up thing is, I actually do, okay? 113 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:04,915 If a woman tried to compliment me on my dick-giving abilities, I'd be psyched. 114 00:07:05,124 --> 00:07:06,489 Hey, yo, Seth. 115 00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:09,728 What? 116 00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:12,955 Did you hear I'm having a big grad party next Saturday? 117 00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:16,334 - No. - Yeah. 118 00:07:17,537 --> 00:07:19,903 - Oh, shit! - You're not coming. 119 00:07:20,573 --> 00:07:23,804 Tell your fucking faggot friend he can't come either. 120 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,143 So Jesse wanted me to tell you... 121 00:07:30,349 --> 00:07:32,715 ...you're a fucking faggot and can't come to his party. 122 00:07:32,919 --> 00:07:34,784 You really bitched out back there, man. 123 00:07:34,987 --> 00:07:36,318 I bitched out? 124 00:07:36,522 --> 00:07:39,286 You bitched out, man, you fucking Judas. 125 00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:40,686 You fucking left me hanging. 126 00:07:40,893 --> 00:07:42,884 Did you want me to dive in front of his spit? 127 00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:48,025 Come on, guys, let's go! 128 00:08:03,015 --> 00:08:04,539 This is bullshit. 129 00:08:04,750 --> 00:08:06,877 Pussy. 130 00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:11,049 If I equals the square root of negative one... 131 00:08:11,257 --> 00:08:16,820 ...then I squared equals negative one. Okay? 132 00:08:17,029 --> 00:08:19,259 In other words, if you consider I as a constant... 133 00:08:19,465 --> 00:08:23,231 ...you can then define the square roots of all the negative numbers. 134 00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:28,106 So I is an imaginary number. It doesn't really exist. 135 00:08:28,307 --> 00:08:31,367 If I equals the square root of negative one... 136 00:08:31,577 --> 00:08:33,568 ...then I squared equals negative one. 137 00:08:33,779 --> 00:08:36,441 Is this making s-? Okay. 138 00:08:43,055 --> 00:08:44,352 - Okay, bye. - Evan! 139 00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:46,358 - Evan, hey. - Hey, Becca. 140 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:48,151 - Hey, thank you for your pen. - Hey. 141 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,989 No problem. No, no, don't worry. No worries. You keep it. 142 00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:54,758 You won't have to borrow one again because you'll have that one. 143 00:08:54,967 --> 00:08:58,835 - Thank you so much, that's... - You're welcome. Don't worry about it. 144 00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:00,665 So I was gonna ask you... 145 00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:03,364 ...did you hear about Jesse's grad party next weekend? 146 00:09:03,576 --> 00:09:07,137 - It should be fun. - I heard. L- It's a maybe. 147 00:09:07,346 --> 00:09:08,836 - Really? - For me at the moment. 148 00:09:09,348 --> 00:09:10,576 - My R.S.V.P. - Just a maybe? 149 00:09:10,783 --> 00:09:11,750 So far. 150 00:09:11,951 --> 00:09:14,613 There's so much other fun shit that's gonna be happening... 151 00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:17,846 ...that I can't really commit and, you know, hurt someone's feelings. 152 00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:21,117 Fun shit? But I never see you at parties or anything. 153 00:09:21,994 --> 00:09:24,792 That's because of all the other fun shit I'm off doing. 154 00:09:24,997 --> 00:09:26,726 I'd love to be at all of them, but... 155 00:09:26,933 --> 00:09:28,764 Why weren't you at Dimitri's on Saturday? 156 00:09:28,968 --> 00:09:30,458 There was so many things going on. 157 00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:32,763 I couldn't find a minute to make an appearance. 158 00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:36,408 - What did you do? - Saturday was a crazy night for me. 159 00:09:39,478 --> 00:09:41,412 I had some friends over, we had a few drinks. 160 00:09:41,614 --> 00:09:43,445 That's Vag-tastic! 161 00:09:43,649 --> 00:09:46,379 I hung out in my basement, the chill zone, where we chill-lax. 162 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,214 Like "relax" and "chill" all at once. 163 00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:51,813 Seth's parents Were throwing a party. 164 00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:54,959 We got to hang around adults, which was a nice change of pace. 165 00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:58,597 You converse, you talk to people and they have interesting stories. 166 00:09:58,798 --> 00:10:02,461 I talked to a man who claimed he had climbed five mountains in his life. 167 00:10:02,835 --> 00:10:06,100 Then we went to a nightclub, which was incredible. This big, fancy one. 168 00:10:06,305 --> 00:10:09,069 - Gonna look at tits right now! - I'm feeling crazy. I said that. 169 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:11,740 - You got in? - We got right in. 170 00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:13,741 - Wanna do this, 'roid monkey? - Fuck you! 171 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:17,313 Then we called it a night. We were all just really exhausted. 172 00:10:17,516 --> 00:10:19,279 What the fuck?! 173 00:10:19,485 --> 00:10:22,716 You would've loved it. It was an incredible, unbelievable night. 174 00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:24,219 That sounds like a lot of fun. 175 00:10:24,423 --> 00:10:27,324 You know, I'd love to go do something like that sometime. 176 00:10:27,526 --> 00:10:29,153 Who wouldn't? I mean, it was like... 177 00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:32,559 ...me and Seth are always kind of cooking up these... 178 00:10:32,765 --> 00:10:35,393 ...fun, sort of, little, you know, events. 179 00:10:35,601 --> 00:10:38,331 I guess you guys are really gonna go crazy next year together. 180 00:10:38,537 --> 00:10:41,267 We were going to, but we got into different schools. 181 00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,499 Really? That sucks. 182 00:10:43,909 --> 00:10:46,935 Yeah, I mean, it's not too bad. I mean, it should be okay. 183 00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:48,704 Not too worried about it, really. 184 00:10:48,914 --> 00:10:51,508 Don't worry about it. I'm not worried at all. 185 00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:56,621 - All right, well, thank you for the pen. - Yeah. No problem. 186 00:10:56,822 --> 00:10:59,689 - Bye. - Bye. 187 00:10:59,892 --> 00:11:02,156 Bye, Evan. 188 00:11:11,203 --> 00:11:14,536 Mrs. Hayworth, I joined this class because I'd be cooking with a partner. 189 00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:18,301 But she's never here, and I don't get twice the grades for doing all the work. 190 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,570 I didn't invent odd numbers, Seth. 191 00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:23,806 I know, but look at Evan, okay? Just look at him. 192 00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:27,474 Don't keep me waiting much longer. I'm getting impatient up here. 193 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,485 You know what I'm talking about. Miroki, you're embarrassing me. 194 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:34,091 I'm here in my unit, isolated and alone, eating my terrible-tasting food... 195 00:11:34,293 --> 00:11:35,760 ...and I gotta look over at that. 196 00:11:35,961 --> 00:11:38,156 Looks like the most fun I've ever seen in my life. 197 00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:41,492 And it's B.S. Excuse my language. I'm just saying that I wash and dry. 198 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:42,827 I'm like a single mother. 199 00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:45,003 We all know Home Ec is a joke, no offense. 200 00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:48,605 Everyone takes this class to get an A. It's bullshit, and I'm sorry. 201 00:11:48,808 --> 00:11:51,743 I'm not putting down your profession, but it's just the way I feel. 202 00:11:51,944 --> 00:11:54,242 I don't wanna sit here alone cooking this shitty food. 203 00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:58,406 No offense. And I just think that I don't ever need to cook tiramisu. 204 00:11:58,617 --> 00:12:00,346 When am I gonna need to cook tiramisu? 205 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:01,918 Am I gonna be a chef? No. 206 00:12:02,121 --> 00:12:05,113 There's three weeks left in school. Give me a fucking break. 207 00:12:05,324 --> 00:12:07,485 I'm sorry for cursing. 208 00:12:08,694 --> 00:12:10,992 All right, Jules' partner isn't here today either. 209 00:12:11,197 --> 00:12:12,630 Pair up with her. Station four. 210 00:12:13,365 --> 00:12:14,957 Jules? 211 00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:18,032 All right. I'll give it another shot. 212 00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:20,228 I'll give Home Ec another shot. 213 00:12:29,849 --> 00:12:32,044 Hey, Jules. Your partner didn't come today? 214 00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:34,783 - That's kind of a personal question. - What? 215 00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:38,447 Nothing. It's my attempt at humor. I was just- 216 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,453 Oh, like coming. 217 00:12:40,659 --> 00:12:42,718 Like "coming" coming. 218 00:12:44,296 --> 00:12:47,265 Wow, that was a little too far right there. The gesture. 219 00:12:47,466 --> 00:12:50,367 Yeah. It's pretty far. Shit, I do that- 220 00:12:50,569 --> 00:12:52,935 No, don't worry. I'm actually used to it. 221 00:12:53,139 --> 00:12:55,733 My older brother says, like, the nastiest shit. 222 00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:58,068 Like he called me "hymen" until I was 12. 223 00:12:58,844 --> 00:13:00,812 - That's sick. That's not even clever. - I know. 224 00:13:01,013 --> 00:13:01,980 I know. 225 00:13:02,181 --> 00:13:04,741 I would've gone with something at least mildly entertaining. 226 00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:07,350 You know, like- Like- Like "family Jules. " 227 00:13:07,553 --> 00:13:11,956 Or like "nuts. " Yeah, that's funny. That's a fucking funny joke. 228 00:13:12,391 --> 00:13:14,359 Fucking funny. 229 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,929 - I can't believe that. - So, all right. We gotta... 230 00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:19,097 ...mix it up. 231 00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:59,336 Yeah, Hayworth will notice this, if we cover it with chocolate. 232 00:13:59,738 --> 00:14:01,831 - The whole thing? - Just dump it on. I'm serious. 233 00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:03,065 Okay. 234 00:14:03,876 --> 00:14:06,743 - And now it looks professional. - That's really impressive. 235 00:14:06,946 --> 00:14:09,380 - It's beautifully done. - I think we're gonna get an A. 236 00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:13,976 So, what are you doing tonight? 237 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:16,049 - Probably nothing. Why? - I don't know. 238 00:14:16,255 --> 00:14:18,246 My parents are gone so I'm having a party. 239 00:14:18,457 --> 00:14:21,051 I don't really know how many people are gonna be there... 240 00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:23,524 ...but you could stop by if you wanted to. 241 00:14:24,096 --> 00:14:26,223 Yeah, I love parties. 242 00:14:26,665 --> 00:14:28,257 Really? 243 00:14:28,634 --> 00:14:30,966 I just don't really ever see you at them. 244 00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:32,865 You know, it's a love-hate thing. 245 00:14:33,072 --> 00:14:36,405 So, like, you know, right now, I really love them, though. 246 00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:40,076 - Yeah. - Good shit, right, Miroki? 247 00:14:40,479 --> 00:14:41,571 Yeah. 248 00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:44,408 Hey, Miroki, could we have a minute alone? Just- Thanks. 249 00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:47,177 Dude, Jules is having a fucking party. 250 00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:48,751 Hey! 251 00:14:49,154 --> 00:14:52,419 - Don't tell Fogell about the party. - Gangsters. What's up, guys? 252 00:14:52,925 --> 00:14:55,951 I was just walking down the hall and Nicola was right in front of me. 253 00:14:56,161 --> 00:14:59,096 She's wearing these tight white pants with this black G-string... 254 00:14:59,298 --> 00:15:02,324 ...and you could see right through the pants. It was so sweet. 255 00:15:12,478 --> 00:15:14,844 It's 10:33. 256 00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:18,716 What? 257 00:15:20,786 --> 00:15:22,048 I told her what time it was. 258 00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:25,189 That's the coolest fucking story I've ever heard in my entire life. 259 00:15:25,391 --> 00:15:27,951 - Can I hear it again? You have time? - Yeah, yeah, Seth. 260 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:30,958 I'll miss your knee-slappers when me and Evan are at Dartmouth. 261 00:15:31,163 --> 00:15:33,256 While you guys are at Dartmouth, I'll be at State... 262 00:15:33,465 --> 00:15:36,559 ...Where the girls are half as smart and twice as likely to fellash me. 263 00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:39,169 What are you guys doing tonight? Asshole. 264 00:15:39,371 --> 00:15:41,566 We got nothing. Nothing tonight, Fogell. 265 00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:44,641 No? Well, if nothing comes up, We can get shitfaced again, yeah? 266 00:15:44,843 --> 00:15:47,573 You're always calling me a pussy, but today you're wrong. 267 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,214 At lunch, I'm going to the same place Mike Snider went... 268 00:15:50,416 --> 00:15:52,782 ...to pick up my brand-new fake ID. 269 00:15:53,652 --> 00:15:57,088 Yeah. Fake ID. Fake ID. I'm tight. 270 00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:59,723 That's insane. Evan was like, "I heard about this party. 271 00:15:59,925 --> 00:16:02,860 We shouldn't tell Fogell. " I was like, "No, we should tell Fogell. " 272 00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:05,189 You could buy us booze now. It's awesome. 273 00:16:05,397 --> 00:16:08,855 Yeah, I'll- Sure, I'll buy the booze. Yeah, we're gonna get our drinks on. 274 00:16:09,068 --> 00:16:11,559 We're gonna party and get crunk and rock out, dude. 275 00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:13,829 If you're not in this class, leave this class. 276 00:16:14,039 --> 00:16:16,200 Fogell! Hi. 277 00:16:16,408 --> 00:16:17,466 Okay. Gotta go. 278 00:16:17,676 --> 00:16:19,667 Well done. Seriously. See you after class. 279 00:16:20,245 --> 00:16:22,008 You tell that idiot you're not rooming with him? 280 00:16:22,214 --> 00:16:23,181 Not yet. No. 281 00:16:23,382 --> 00:16:26,112 All right, well, you better. That guy's the fucking anti-poon. 282 00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:28,252 Seth, it's dishes time. What's the holdup? 283 00:16:28,687 --> 00:16:30,712 We're getting a fake ID, so... 284 00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:33,687 - It's not like a big deal. - Wow, that's cool. 285 00:16:33,892 --> 00:16:36,019 But you guys have, like, four more years to go... 286 00:16:36,228 --> 00:16:37,627 ...so do you wanna get to work? 287 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,196 Well, we got into different schools, so... 288 00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:42,492 So you're cutting the cord? What's gonna happen? 289 00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:45,261 Nothing. Jeez, what does everybody think is gonna happen? 290 00:16:45,471 --> 00:16:48,304 The world's gonna explode if we don't spend every second together? 291 00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:50,873 I mean, we're not dependent on each other, you know. 292 00:16:51,076 --> 00:16:53,476 We met when we were 8. We were fine before then. 293 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:56,477 I was. I mean, it's like, We don't do everything together. 294 00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,377 No. All right, I gotta take a piss. 295 00:16:58,584 --> 00:17:01,212 My dick's not gonna shake itself. Come on, babe. 296 00:17:03,455 --> 00:17:06,185 - He's a crack-up. - I'm just gonna go. 297 00:17:08,994 --> 00:17:11,360 Well, at least We're getting a graduation party. 298 00:17:11,563 --> 00:17:12,689 Thank God, man. 299 00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:14,763 I'm excited. 300 00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:18,425 I would do terrible, disgusting things to hook up with Jules. 301 00:17:18,637 --> 00:17:20,400 - Unforgivable things. - I hear you, man. 302 00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:22,733 I'd give my middle nut to start dating Becca. 303 00:17:22,941 --> 00:17:24,841 Becca's a bitch. 304 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,672 You know what? I'm seriously getting fucking sick of you... 305 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,314 ...talking about her like that, if we can be honest. 306 00:17:30,516 --> 00:17:32,143 - Me too. - Why do you hate her so much? 307 00:17:32,351 --> 00:17:34,751 You've never given me a reason. I think you like her. 308 00:17:35,154 --> 00:17:38,248 - Fuck no, man! I hate Becca. - Why, man? 309 00:17:38,457 --> 00:17:40,925 Fine, Evan. Here it comes. 310 00:17:41,126 --> 00:17:43,924 When I was a little kid, I kind of had this problem. 311 00:17:44,129 --> 00:17:45,756 And it's not even that big of a deal. 312 00:17:45,964 --> 00:17:48,694 Something like 8 percent of kids do it, but whatever. It's... 313 00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:55,329 For some reason, I don't know why, I would just kind of sit around all day... 314 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,873 ...and draw pictures of dicks. 315 00:18:00,946 --> 00:18:02,004 What? 316 00:18:02,514 --> 00:18:04,641 Draw pictures of dicks. 317 00:18:04,983 --> 00:18:06,382 Dicks? 318 00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:08,382 Like a man dick? 319 00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:10,889 Yeah. Like a man dick. 320 00:18:13,692 --> 00:18:16,957 I'd sit there for hours, drawing dicks. I don't know what it was. 321 00:18:17,162 --> 00:18:20,928 I couldn't touch the pen to paper without drawing the shape of a penis. 322 00:18:21,133 --> 00:18:23,397 - That's fucked. - No shit, it's really fucked up. 323 00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:24,864 Here I am, this little kid... 324 00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:28,005 ...and I can't stop drawing dicks to save my own life. 325 00:18:37,082 --> 00:18:39,812 All right. I mean, I don't see What this has to do with Becca. 326 00:18:40,018 --> 00:18:42,384 Just listen. Okay? 327 00:18:42,588 --> 00:18:45,751 Your precious little Becca sat next to me for all of fourth grade. 328 00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:50,087 And in the classroom is where I did the majority of my illustrations. 329 00:18:50,929 --> 00:18:54,126 I was very secretive about this whole dick operation I had going on. 330 00:18:54,333 --> 00:18:55,891 Even I thought I was fucking crazy. 331 00:18:56,101 --> 00:18:57,762 Imagine what everyone else would think. 332 00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:59,938 So I would stash all of my dick drawings... 333 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:03,006 ...in this Ghostbusters lunchbox that I had. 334 00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:07,406 So one day I'm finishing up this real big, veiny, triumphant bastard. 335 00:19:07,613 --> 00:19:08,705 All of a sudden... 336 00:19:08,914 --> 00:19:10,643 Pussy! 337 00:19:13,085 --> 00:19:15,019 You hit Becca's foot with your dick? 338 00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:17,950 Yeah. I know. 339 00:19:33,472 --> 00:19:34,439 Oh, my God! 340 00:19:34,773 --> 00:19:38,903 She starts crying. She flips out. And she rats me out to the principal. 341 00:19:39,111 --> 00:19:41,602 He finds this Ghostbusters lunchbox dick treasure chest... 342 00:19:41,813 --> 00:19:43,212 ...and he fucking flips out. 343 00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:56,060 He calls in my parents. Turns out this principal is some religious fanatic... 344 00:19:56,261 --> 00:19:58,422 ...and he thinks I'm possessed by some dick devil. 345 00:19:58,630 --> 00:20:02,066 My parents make me see a therapist, and he's asking me dick questions. 346 00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:04,497 They made me stop eating foods shaped like dicks. 347 00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:06,330 No hot dogs, no Popsicles. 348 00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:09,405 You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds. 349 00:20:09,608 --> 00:20:11,041 Yeah. 350 00:20:11,843 --> 00:20:14,778 Well, I don't- That's really messed up. 351 00:20:15,681 --> 00:20:17,808 - Super gay. - All right, let's stop this madness. 352 00:20:18,016 --> 00:20:21,247 - Let's just go get some dessert. - I can't, I gotta go meet my counselor. 353 00:20:21,453 --> 00:20:23,751 I'm picking out my classes for next year. 354 00:20:24,756 --> 00:20:28,817 So I gotta sit and eat dessert alone, like I'm fucking Steven Glanzberg? 355 00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:31,961 I gue- Yeah, I mean, What do you want me to do? 356 00:20:33,031 --> 00:20:35,090 I don't know. Nothing. It's fine. 357 00:20:35,767 --> 00:20:39,533 - Just relax, man. I'll see you later. - That's fine. I'll be fine. 358 00:20:46,845 --> 00:20:48,813 Hey, pussy. 359 00:20:49,014 --> 00:20:50,879 Fuck off. 360 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:52,778 Just the one. Just the one. Not both. 361 00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:54,612 - So I'll call Andy and Greg. - Okay. 362 00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:57,288 And I'll bring the '80s dance music. 363 00:20:57,489 --> 00:20:59,081 - Yeah, yeah. - Right on. 364 00:20:59,291 --> 00:21:01,725 Seth! Hi. There you are. We were just talking about you. 365 00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:04,122 - Here I am. - That's weird. 366 00:21:04,329 --> 00:21:07,059 So you're coming to my party tonight? Because it's fully on. 367 00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:10,326 Yeah, why? Should I not come? Because I could think of other shit... 368 00:21:10,535 --> 00:21:13,026 Oh, no. No. I want you to come, I just- 369 00:21:13,238 --> 00:21:16,469 You said something earlier about, like, a fake ID or something, right? 370 00:21:16,675 --> 00:21:19,235 Yeah, I'm gonna get one. For sure, for sure. 371 00:21:19,444 --> 00:21:22,174 I'm getting that for sure. 372 00:21:23,048 --> 00:21:24,913 Can you get us booze? 373 00:21:27,352 --> 00:21:29,684 Yeah. I can. I can get you guys alcohol. 374 00:21:29,888 --> 00:21:31,412 - Really? Seriously? - Yes, for sure. 375 00:21:31,623 --> 00:21:33,181 That would be awesome. Thank you. 376 00:21:33,392 --> 00:21:35,860 Because we were worried about that. That would be great. 377 00:21:36,061 --> 00:21:38,723 Plus, you know, you scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours. 378 00:21:38,930 --> 00:21:40,955 Well, Jules, the funny thing about my back... 379 00:21:41,166 --> 00:21:43,657 ...is that it's located on my cock. 380 00:21:46,204 --> 00:21:48,172 So you do want alcohol? You want some or no? 381 00:21:48,373 --> 00:21:50,568 You do or you don't? You do want alcohol. 382 00:21:50,776 --> 00:21:52,107 - Yeah. - Either way. 383 00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:54,302 - Well- - Either way. Either way's fine. 384 00:21:54,513 --> 00:21:56,242 This is actually kind of a big favor. 385 00:21:56,448 --> 00:22:00,384 Because my parents left me like 100 bucks to feed myself for the week. 386 00:22:00,585 --> 00:22:03,782 But the house is full of food, so I just thought I'd spend it all... 387 00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:06,787 ...on, you know, extra drinks for the party, so... 388 00:22:06,992 --> 00:22:10,120 That's really nice. I don't think I've ever done anything that nice. 389 00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:11,853 - It's cool? - Yeah. 390 00:22:12,064 --> 00:22:13,224 - Okay. Thank you. - Awesome. 391 00:22:13,432 --> 00:22:16,401 I mean, seriously, that's really- That's nice of you. Thank you. 392 00:22:16,601 --> 00:22:20,230 So should I just get a shitload of different shit? 393 00:22:21,073 --> 00:22:23,371 Well, you gotta get me some Kyle's Killer Lemonade. 394 00:22:23,575 --> 00:22:26,806 Kyle's Killer Lemonade. That's kind of gay, but I can get it for you. 395 00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:30,247 So- Okay, so then We will see you tonight. 396 00:22:30,449 --> 00:22:31,279 Go to the ball, guys. 397 00:22:32,050 --> 00:22:34,211 Evan. Get into the game. 398 00:22:34,786 --> 00:22:36,686 Kick it over to me. 399 00:22:36,888 --> 00:22:38,947 Seth! Get off the field! 400 00:22:39,157 --> 00:22:41,318 Get out of here. They're gonna make me run laps. 401 00:22:41,526 --> 00:22:42,720 Just fucking listen, okay? 402 00:22:42,928 --> 00:22:46,386 Jules and her stupid fucking friend asked me to buy her alcohol. 403 00:22:46,598 --> 00:22:49,533 But not just her, for her whole party. You know what that means? 404 00:22:49,735 --> 00:22:52,898 By some miracle, we were paired up and she actually thought of me. 405 00:22:53,105 --> 00:22:55,801 Thought of me enough to decide I was the guy she would trust... 406 00:22:56,007 --> 00:22:58,805 ...with the whole fun-ness of her party. She wants to fuck me. 407 00:22:59,010 --> 00:23:01,843 She wants my dick in or around her mouth. 408 00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:04,811 Did you think that maybe she's using you to get her alcohol? 409 00:23:05,016 --> 00:23:07,541 - She doesn't want your dick. - Of course I thought of that. 410 00:23:07,753 --> 00:23:09,744 The first thing that came to my mind. Listen. 411 00:23:09,955 --> 00:23:12,048 My older brother always says the nastiest shit. 412 00:23:12,257 --> 00:23:14,725 Like he called me "hymen" until I was 12. 413 00:23:14,926 --> 00:23:16,416 Seth, I wanna blow you. 414 00:23:17,295 --> 00:23:18,557 She didn't say that. Come on. 415 00:23:18,764 --> 00:23:20,595 She didn't say the second part, the first- 416 00:23:20,799 --> 00:23:23,199 She's got an older brother. She could have asked him. 417 00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:24,994 She looked me in the eyes and said: 418 00:23:25,203 --> 00:23:28,934 "Seth, Mom is making a pubie salad. I need some Seth's Own dressing. " 419 00:23:29,141 --> 00:23:31,507 She's D.T.F. She's down to fuck, man. 420 00:23:31,710 --> 00:23:34,372 P in vagi. She wants to fuck, man. 421 00:23:34,579 --> 00:23:37,241 Tonight is the night that fucking is an actual possibility. 422 00:23:37,449 --> 00:23:40,077 You sound like an idiot. You're not gonna sleep with her. 423 00:23:40,285 --> 00:23:43,550 No. Dude, I know I talk a lot of shit, okay? 424 00:23:43,755 --> 00:23:46,349 But she's gonna be at the party and she's gonna be drunk. 425 00:23:46,558 --> 00:23:49,959 She likes me at least a little. At the very least, I'll make out with her. 426 00:23:50,162 --> 00:23:52,153 Two weeks, handjob. Month, blowjob. Whatever. 427 00:23:52,364 --> 00:23:53,922 And then I make her my girlfriend. 428 00:23:54,132 --> 00:23:56,100 And I've got, like, two solid months of sex. 429 00:23:56,301 --> 00:23:57,893 By the time college rolls around... 430 00:23:58,103 --> 00:24:00,367 ...I'll be like the Iron Chef of pounding vag. 431 00:24:00,572 --> 00:24:01,869 Can we talk about this later? 432 00:24:02,073 --> 00:24:04,007 What the fuck, Evan? We're down two points. 433 00:24:04,209 --> 00:24:06,040 Fucking calm down, Greg. It's soccer. 434 00:24:06,244 --> 00:24:07,836 - It's soccer. - Fuck you, man. 435 00:24:08,046 --> 00:24:10,276 Hey, Greg, why don't you go piss your pants again? 436 00:24:10,482 --> 00:24:13,007 - That was eight years ago, asshole. - People don't forget. 437 00:24:13,218 --> 00:24:15,277 Do you wanna hear the best part? Becca. 438 00:24:15,487 --> 00:24:17,284 You do the same thing with her. 439 00:24:17,489 --> 00:24:19,582 When you guys are shitfaced, you get with her. 440 00:24:19,791 --> 00:24:22,555 This is our last party as high school people. 441 00:24:22,761 --> 00:24:25,628 I've ignored my hatred for Becca in coming up with this plan. 442 00:24:25,831 --> 00:24:28,595 I'm flexing nuts. Just fucking come with me on this voyage... 443 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:30,358 ...and stop being a pussy for once... 444 00:24:30,569 --> 00:24:33,595 ...and we can fucking fuck some girls already. 445 00:24:34,206 --> 00:24:36,504 - I should buy Becca alcohol? - Yeah, it'll be pimp. 446 00:24:36,708 --> 00:24:39,575 That way you know she'll be drunk. You know when girls say: 447 00:24:39,778 --> 00:24:42,941 "I was so shitfaced last night. I shouldn't have fucked that guy. " 448 00:24:43,148 --> 00:24:44,513 We could be that mistake! 449 00:24:46,818 --> 00:24:48,080 Have you talked to Fogell? 450 00:24:48,286 --> 00:24:51,187 All right, you talk to Becca. I'll talk to that retard, Fogell. 451 00:24:51,389 --> 00:24:52,356 Don't worry. 452 00:24:52,557 --> 00:24:55,492 - Seth, get off the field! - Goal. 453 00:24:55,694 --> 00:24:57,423 - You're getting that! - No, I'm not! 454 00:25:01,399 --> 00:25:03,264 Hey, Becca. Hey, hold up. 455 00:25:03,468 --> 00:25:04,435 - Oh, hey. - Hey. 456 00:25:04,636 --> 00:25:07,036 Hi. Did you hear about the party tonight? 457 00:25:07,239 --> 00:25:09,207 Yeah. Yeah, I just heard. It sounds awesome. 458 00:25:09,407 --> 00:25:11,375 Yeah. Yeah, I'm going. 459 00:25:11,576 --> 00:25:12,907 - Really? - Yeah, I'm gonna go. 460 00:25:13,111 --> 00:25:14,669 That's why I came looking for you. 461 00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:17,041 Me and the guys are gonna go to a liquor store. 462 00:25:17,249 --> 00:25:18,773 And I just thought, you know... 463 00:25:18,984 --> 00:25:21,646 ...if you needed someone to get you yours, I could do that. 464 00:25:21,853 --> 00:25:23,377 I could be that person. 465 00:25:23,588 --> 00:25:24,816 Yeah. 466 00:25:25,023 --> 00:25:26,513 Yeah, no, that would be great. 467 00:25:26,725 --> 00:25:30,058 That would save me such a hassle, because I was gonna beg my sister. 468 00:25:30,262 --> 00:25:32,628 Could you get me, like, a bottle of Goldslick Vodka? 469 00:25:32,831 --> 00:25:35,425 Yeah. That's the one With the little golden flakes in it? 470 00:25:35,634 --> 00:25:38,296 - Yeah. The girly one. - That's classy. 471 00:25:38,503 --> 00:25:40,232 Well, I'll pay you back at the party. 472 00:25:40,438 --> 00:25:42,167 No, you won't. No, it's my treat, miss. 473 00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:43,636 - Really? - Yep. That's that. 474 00:25:43,842 --> 00:25:46,709 It's the first of many too, so get used to it, sister. 475 00:25:46,912 --> 00:25:49,107 Well, thank you. 476 00:25:49,314 --> 00:25:51,145 Yeah, no problem. 477 00:25:58,123 --> 00:26:00,353 - I'm sorry. It was an accident. - It's okay. 478 00:26:00,559 --> 00:26:03,153 I was gonna give you a nudge- A punch, the friend thing. 479 00:26:03,361 --> 00:26:04,385 I didn't mean- 480 00:26:04,596 --> 00:26:06,029 - Hey, Becca. - Hey. 481 00:26:06,231 --> 00:26:07,255 - Hey. - Gaby. 482 00:26:07,465 --> 00:26:08,659 - What's up, Evan? - Hey, Gaby. 483 00:26:08,867 --> 00:26:10,698 - We should get to class. - We're gonna go. 484 00:26:10,902 --> 00:26:12,460 - So I will see you tonight. - Okay. 485 00:26:12,671 --> 00:26:14,229 - Really, don't worry. - Okay. Sorry. 486 00:26:14,439 --> 00:26:16,498 - Bye. - Sorry. 487 00:26:16,708 --> 00:26:18,039 Bye. 488 00:26:19,544 --> 00:26:21,171 Sorry. 489 00:26:29,020 --> 00:26:31,420 Where's that sack of shit, Fogell? He said he'd be here. 490 00:26:31,623 --> 00:26:33,056 I'm here with my thumb up my ass. 491 00:26:33,258 --> 00:26:35,249 I did it, dude. I even offered to pay for it. 492 00:26:35,460 --> 00:26:37,325 It was pimp. I feel like a pimp right now. 493 00:26:37,529 --> 00:26:40,157 - Like one of those pimps. - That is fucking pimp. 494 00:26:40,365 --> 00:26:43,528 - That's what I was afraid of. - Why didn't I think of that? Shit. 495 00:26:45,804 --> 00:26:47,101 Sh- we're screwed. 496 00:26:47,305 --> 00:26:48,567 - Okay? We're screwed. - Okay. 497 00:26:48,773 --> 00:26:50,798 This is what we get for trusting Fogell, okay? 498 00:26:51,009 --> 00:26:53,170 He pussied out. I know he pussied out. 499 00:26:54,613 --> 00:26:55,580 What are you making? 500 00:26:56,114 --> 00:27:00,517 I'm just drilling holes. The last two weeks. Fuck it. 501 00:27:00,986 --> 00:27:03,477 What do we tell the girls, We couldn't do the one thing... 502 00:27:03,688 --> 00:27:05,849 ...we promised because we're dickless incompetents? 503 00:27:06,057 --> 00:27:09,151 Now we're never gonna bone because of that used tampon, Fogell. 504 00:27:09,361 --> 00:27:13,058 How'd he get into Dartmouth? I don't get it. He's got shit for brains. 505 00:27:13,264 --> 00:27:15,164 All right, how else can we get alcohol? 506 00:27:15,367 --> 00:27:18,097 - Yo, guys! What's up? - Fogell, where have you been, man? 507 00:27:18,303 --> 00:27:20,168 You almost gave me a goddamn heart attack. 508 00:27:20,372 --> 00:27:23,569 - Let me see it. Did you pussy out? - No, no, man. I got it. 509 00:27:23,775 --> 00:27:25,834 It's flawless. Check it. 510 00:27:26,044 --> 00:27:27,238 Hawaii? 511 00:27:27,445 --> 00:27:30,073 All right, that's good. It's hard to trace, I guess. 512 00:27:30,281 --> 00:27:33,648 Wait, you changed your name to McLovin? 513 00:27:34,185 --> 00:27:36,483 - Yeah. - McLovin? 514 00:27:37,555 --> 00:27:40,649 What kind of a stupid name is that? Are you an Irish R & B singer? 515 00:27:40,859 --> 00:27:43,191 They let you pick any name you want when you're there. 516 00:27:43,395 --> 00:27:44,987 And you landed on McLovin? 517 00:27:45,196 --> 00:27:47,357 Yeah, it was between that or Mohammad. 518 00:27:47,565 --> 00:27:49,726 Why the fuck would it be between that or Mohammad? 519 00:27:49,934 --> 00:27:51,925 Why not just pick a common name? 520 00:27:52,137 --> 00:27:55,265 Mohammad is the most common name on earth. Read a fucking book. 521 00:27:55,473 --> 00:27:57,270 Have you ever met anyone named Mohammad? 522 00:27:57,475 --> 00:27:59,272 Have you ever met anyone named McLovin? 523 00:27:59,477 --> 00:28:01,570 No, that's why you picked a dumb fucking name. 524 00:28:01,780 --> 00:28:03,042 - Fuck you. - Give me that. 525 00:28:03,248 --> 00:28:06,649 All right. You look like a future pedophile in this picture, number one. 526 00:28:06,851 --> 00:28:09,945 Number two, it doesn't even have a first name. It just says McLovin! 527 00:28:10,155 --> 00:28:11,247 What? One name? 528 00:28:11,456 --> 00:28:14,016 One name? Who are you, Seal? 529 00:28:14,225 --> 00:28:16,523 Fogell, this ID says you're 25 years old. 530 00:28:16,728 --> 00:28:18,286 Why wouldn't you just put 21, man? 531 00:28:18,496 --> 00:28:20,521 Seth, Seth, Seth. Listen up, ass-face. 532 00:28:20,732 --> 00:28:24,224 Every day, hundreds of kids go into the liquor store with their fake IDs... 533 00:28:24,436 --> 00:28:26,233 ...and every single one says they're 21. 534 00:28:26,438 --> 00:28:28,167 How many 21-year-olds are in this town? 535 00:28:28,373 --> 00:28:29,772 It's called fucking strategy. 536 00:28:29,974 --> 00:28:32,135 Let's stay calm, okay? Let's not lose our heads. 537 00:28:32,343 --> 00:28:35,471 It's a fine ID. It'll- It's gonna work. It's passable, okay? 538 00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:38,205 This isn't terrible. I mean, it's up to you, Fogell. 539 00:28:38,416 --> 00:28:40,941 This guy's gonna think, "Here's a kid with a fake ID"... 540 00:28:41,152 --> 00:28:45,384 ...or "Here's McLovin, the 25-year-old Hawaiian organ donor. " 541 00:28:45,590 --> 00:28:47,751 Okay? So, what's it gonna be? 542 00:28:48,293 --> 00:28:49,783 I am McLovin. 543 00:28:50,795 --> 00:28:53,457 No, you're not. No one's McLovin. McLovin's never existed... 544 00:28:53,665 --> 00:28:57,032 ...because that's a made-up, dumb, fucking fairy-tale name, you fuck! 545 00:28:57,235 --> 00:28:59,567 Jeez, man. It'll work. Give it a chance. 546 00:28:59,771 --> 00:29:01,136 Did you move my-? 547 00:29:01,339 --> 00:29:02,601 Where is my car? 548 00:29:02,807 --> 00:29:04,206 Oh, my God, man. 549 00:29:04,409 --> 00:29:06,775 What did I say to you? I told you not to park here. 550 00:29:06,978 --> 00:29:09,378 Why would you park in the staff parking lot? 551 00:29:09,581 --> 00:29:10,878 Shut the fuck up, Fogell. 552 00:29:11,082 --> 00:29:13,642 I mean, because you're not staff. 553 00:29:13,852 --> 00:29:17,379 I know that, Fagell! I know that! 554 00:29:19,791 --> 00:29:21,656 Evan, let's go to your house. 555 00:29:22,794 --> 00:29:25,422 Wait, are you guys still picking me up from work? 556 00:29:26,831 --> 00:29:28,423 Can you answer me? 557 00:29:32,237 --> 00:29:34,967 Man, don't you have any non-infant clothes? 558 00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:37,007 - It'll be fine. - Yeah. 559 00:29:37,208 --> 00:29:39,369 Why don't you just wear what you wore to school? 560 00:29:39,577 --> 00:29:42,637 I can't do that. I can't let Jules see me in what I wore to school. 561 00:29:42,847 --> 00:29:44,280 It's completely unbecoming. 562 00:29:44,482 --> 00:29:47,883 No one's gotten a handjob in cargo shorts since Nam. 563 00:29:48,086 --> 00:29:50,953 I have to kill these guys. You don't negotiate with terrorists. 564 00:29:51,156 --> 00:29:53,989 Really? Yeah, that's what we should be talking about right now. 565 00:29:54,192 --> 00:29:56,660 Then why don't you go and get some of your own clothes? 566 00:29:56,861 --> 00:29:58,226 That's the dumbest thing ever. 567 00:29:58,429 --> 00:30:01,557 My parents will see that my car's been towed and I'll be grounded. 568 00:30:01,766 --> 00:30:03,893 These fucking terrorists multiply like bunnies. 569 00:30:04,102 --> 00:30:05,399 Where did I leave the M16? 570 00:30:05,603 --> 00:30:09,004 Do you have any bigger clothes or do you only shop at babyGap? 571 00:30:09,207 --> 00:30:11,437 Fuck me. I can't- 572 00:30:12,010 --> 00:30:14,240 That's fun. Why do they make that? 573 00:30:14,445 --> 00:30:17,505 If you can't even win, then why am I fucking playing? 574 00:30:17,715 --> 00:30:19,478 Do you wanna go see what my dad has? 575 00:30:43,308 --> 00:30:45,071 What the fuck? 576 00:30:48,613 --> 00:30:49,705 What the hell is that? 577 00:30:49,914 --> 00:30:51,848 It's a fucking vest, dumbass. 578 00:30:52,050 --> 00:30:54,518 - I'm trying to look older. - You look like Pinocchio. 579 00:30:54,719 --> 00:30:57,210 - It's just a vest. - They got a lot of booze in there. 580 00:30:57,422 --> 00:31:00,391 If we get it now, we can get to the party faster with Jules' shit. 581 00:31:00,592 --> 00:31:02,787 No way, man. I work there. They know I'm not 25. 582 00:31:02,994 --> 00:31:05,019 Nobody said anything about you, dick-mouth. 583 00:31:05,230 --> 00:31:07,255 You really fucked me on this one. 584 00:31:07,465 --> 00:31:09,262 So now I'm gonna steal the booze. 585 00:31:09,467 --> 00:31:12,231 Don't do this. I promise you I'll get the liquor later. 586 00:31:12,437 --> 00:31:14,735 Mike Snider's ID always works. So will mine, man. 587 00:31:14,939 --> 00:31:18,375 Mike Snider's ID doesn't have one fucking name on it! Okay? 588 00:31:18,576 --> 00:31:22,171 I thought you Dartmouth guys would be smart enough to understand that. 589 00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:25,046 Now Seth's gotta pick up all the pieces. 590 00:31:25,250 --> 00:31:26,911 He won't do it. Don't worry. 591 00:31:27,118 --> 00:31:30,315 I forgot to tell you, my mom said we can have the TV from the basement- 592 00:31:30,521 --> 00:31:32,216 Shut the fuck up, he's gonna hear you. 593 00:31:32,423 --> 00:31:34,220 Just be quiet. Wait until he goes away. 594 00:31:34,425 --> 00:31:36,985 You still haven't told him that we're rooming together? 595 00:31:37,195 --> 00:31:38,628 Fogell, shut the fuck up. 596 00:31:38,830 --> 00:31:40,923 And take off your vest. You look like Aladdin. 597 00:31:41,132 --> 00:31:43,828 Okay. You got it. 598 00:31:52,577 --> 00:31:54,602 Hope piggy can run. 599 00:32:10,862 --> 00:32:12,352 How old are you? 600 00:32:12,563 --> 00:32:14,121 Twenty-two. 601 00:32:14,632 --> 00:32:17,260 You certainly are. That'll be 80 dollars. 602 00:32:17,835 --> 00:32:19,564 Okay. 603 00:32:19,771 --> 00:32:22,069 Thank you kindly. Will that do? 604 00:32:22,273 --> 00:32:24,468 Certainly will. Thank you, Seth. 605 00:32:24,676 --> 00:32:26,644 Hey, thank you. 606 00:32:37,255 --> 00:32:38,688 You dropped your purse, ma'am. 607 00:32:38,890 --> 00:32:40,323 Would you like some help? 608 00:32:40,525 --> 00:32:42,720 Well, that would be lovely, young man. 609 00:32:42,927 --> 00:32:46,021 Would you like me to buy you alcohol? 610 00:32:46,531 --> 00:32:48,522 That would be lovely. 611 00:32:48,733 --> 00:32:51,293 - Enjoy your remaining years. - I will. 612 00:32:51,502 --> 00:32:54,801 - Enjoy fucking Jules. - I will. 613 00:33:13,091 --> 00:33:14,752 Don't do it, kid. 614 00:33:18,930 --> 00:33:20,898 I never had a choice. 615 00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:30,871 You fucking killed her! 616 00:33:31,943 --> 00:33:32,910 No! 617 00:33:43,254 --> 00:33:46,223 Where's all the stolen liquor? Did you hide it up your butt? 618 00:33:46,424 --> 00:33:49,222 Piss off! I was gonna do it, but there was a security breach. 619 00:33:49,427 --> 00:33:50,655 You never would've done it. 620 00:33:50,862 --> 00:33:54,093 Let's go to a liquor store and watch your stupid ID get rejected. 621 00:33:54,298 --> 00:33:56,732 Wait, I'm gonna go put my vest back in my locker. 622 00:34:23,828 --> 00:34:25,455 All right. Here we are. This is it. 623 00:34:25,663 --> 00:34:26,960 - You ready? Yeah? - Yeah. 624 00:34:28,199 --> 00:34:31,566 - Here's the money and the list. - Change is yours. Keep the change. 625 00:34:31,769 --> 00:34:34,829 - Thank you. What's the list for? - The alcohol. 626 00:34:35,039 --> 00:34:37,940 We're gonna get alcohol for the whole party, okay? 627 00:34:38,142 --> 00:34:40,804 We put a lot of time into this list, so don't fuck it up. 628 00:34:41,012 --> 00:34:41,979 It's perfect. 629 00:34:42,180 --> 00:34:45,513 Ouzo, bourbon, spiced rum, Goldslick... 630 00:34:45,716 --> 00:34:48,184 Goldslick Vodka. That's for Becca. Don't forget that. 631 00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:51,119 Raspberry vodka, Scotch... 632 00:34:51,322 --> 00:34:53,085 And Kyle's Killer Lemonade. A six-pack. 633 00:34:53,291 --> 00:34:56,192 This is a lot. I don't know if I can get away with all this. 634 00:34:56,394 --> 00:34:57,793 What difference does it make? 635 00:34:57,995 --> 00:35:01,362 I don't know, man. I'm, like, really nervous. 636 00:35:01,966 --> 00:35:04,434 - Are you okay? - No, man. I should have wore the vest. 637 00:35:04,635 --> 00:35:06,967 - Calm down. - What the fuck are you doing? 638 00:35:07,171 --> 00:35:09,036 What if I go in and they turn me down, man? 639 00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:11,105 Then we're in the same place we're in now. 640 00:35:11,309 --> 00:35:13,004 - Who cares? - It's fucking humiliating! 641 00:35:13,211 --> 00:35:15,008 Everybody sees them kicking me out. 642 00:35:15,213 --> 00:35:18,307 What if they make me put the liquor back? I can't do that. 643 00:35:18,516 --> 00:35:20,882 This whole thing is bigger than you, Fogell! 644 00:35:21,085 --> 00:35:24,452 So grow a pair of nuts and fucking walk in there and buy the alcohol! 645 00:35:24,989 --> 00:35:27,184 What if I don't feel like it anymore, Seth? What? 646 00:35:27,391 --> 00:35:29,188 Then I'll fucking kill you, okay? 647 00:35:29,393 --> 00:35:31,361 I'll stab you through your fucking heart. 648 00:35:31,562 --> 00:35:33,052 No, you can do this, man. Come on. 649 00:35:33,264 --> 00:35:36,131 Killing me won't get you alcohol. I'm the one with the fake ID. 650 00:35:36,334 --> 00:35:38,325 Then I'll cut your dumb fucking face off... 651 00:35:38,536 --> 00:35:41,630 ...throw it over mine and get your ID and buy it my fucking self! 652 00:35:41,839 --> 00:35:44,706 Oh, really? You don't have the technology or the steady hands... 653 00:35:44,909 --> 00:35:46,877 ...to pull off a procedure like that, so ha! 654 00:35:47,078 --> 00:35:48,568 Peace. 655 00:35:49,213 --> 00:35:51,738 Fogell, just be cool, man. Get in and get out. 656 00:35:51,949 --> 00:35:52,916 You're the hero. 657 00:35:55,720 --> 00:35:57,187 Sorry. 658 00:36:27,318 --> 00:36:28,945 Is there a problem here, sir? 659 00:36:29,153 --> 00:36:32,486 No. No problem whatsoever. 660 00:36:35,693 --> 00:36:38,355 Sir, did you do this? On the floor? 661 00:36:38,563 --> 00:36:40,030 No. 662 00:36:40,231 --> 00:36:41,858 And you should really clean this up. 663 00:36:42,066 --> 00:36:44,227 Someone could really hurt themselves. 664 00:36:46,003 --> 00:36:47,868 Fuck my life. 665 00:36:48,472 --> 00:36:49,905 We're so fucked. We're so fucked. 666 00:36:50,107 --> 00:36:51,938 This plan's been fucked since Jump Street. 667 00:36:52,143 --> 00:36:54,737 Okay, just calm down. Just calm down, all right? 668 00:36:55,279 --> 00:36:58,009 Hey, so did you bring a condom for tonight? 669 00:36:58,216 --> 00:37:00,150 You brought a condom with you? 670 00:37:00,351 --> 00:37:02,216 Yeah. I figured I might as well, you know? 671 00:37:02,420 --> 00:37:04,945 I brought a little bottle of spermicidal lube too. 672 00:37:07,558 --> 00:37:10,322 You laughed in my face When I said I'd be having sex tonight. 673 00:37:10,528 --> 00:37:12,826 That doesn't mean you shouldn't always be prepared. 674 00:37:13,030 --> 00:37:15,328 - You didn't even bring a condom? - No. 675 00:37:15,533 --> 00:37:17,330 No, Evan, that wasn't part of the plan. 676 00:37:17,535 --> 00:37:19,560 You did this without consulting with me. 677 00:37:19,770 --> 00:37:23,433 We've never discussed, like, any plan, but you keep saying we have a plan. 678 00:37:23,641 --> 00:37:26,576 I had, like, a general outline. You know? 679 00:37:26,777 --> 00:37:29,575 I was gonna go down on her for, like, several hours, okay? 680 00:37:29,780 --> 00:37:32,681 She would love that. She'd be smitten. She'd go out with that. 681 00:37:32,883 --> 00:37:34,578 Or I dry hump the shit out of her leg. 682 00:37:34,785 --> 00:37:37,811 Well, I just- I don't see the harm in bringing one little condom. 683 00:37:38,022 --> 00:37:40,149 And one little bottle of spermicidal lube? 684 00:37:40,358 --> 00:37:42,792 Yeah, one little bottle of spermicidal lube. 685 00:37:42,994 --> 00:37:45,792 - Evan, that's psycho shit, man. - No, it's not. 686 00:37:45,997 --> 00:37:47,624 That's, like, Charles Manson shit. 687 00:37:47,832 --> 00:37:50,926 What, do you think Becca's gonna be psyched that you brought lube? 688 00:37:51,135 --> 00:37:54,536 "Oh, Evan. Thank you for bringing that lube for my pussy. 689 00:37:54,739 --> 00:37:57,833 I never would've been able to handle your fucking 4-inch dick... 690 00:37:58,042 --> 00:38:01,136 ...inside my pussy without that gigantic bottle of lube. " 691 00:38:01,345 --> 00:38:02,972 - Okay, that's- That's enough. - Fuck. 692 00:38:03,180 --> 00:38:05,808 These girls are 18, they're not dried-up old ladies. 693 00:38:06,017 --> 00:38:08,008 - They're good to go. - Then I won't bring the lube. 694 00:38:08,219 --> 00:38:11,188 Don't make me feel like that. I thought it was cool. 695 00:38:11,389 --> 00:38:13,687 - This is a nice kind. - Let me see that for a second. 696 00:38:13,891 --> 00:38:15,882 - An impressive kind. - It is kind of cool. 697 00:38:16,093 --> 00:38:17,788 - That's cool. - Fucking dumbass. Lube? 698 00:38:17,995 --> 00:38:19,360 - That's funny. - You brought lube? 699 00:38:19,563 --> 00:38:22,794 You owe me 6 bucks because I'm not walking over to get it and it exploded. 700 00:38:24,502 --> 00:38:26,697 Hello, Mindy. 701 00:38:39,417 --> 00:38:41,977 I love that stuff. Been drinking it for years. 702 00:38:43,387 --> 00:38:47,721 You know, I heard they recently decided to add more hops to it. 703 00:38:51,996 --> 00:38:53,190 Okay. 704 00:38:53,397 --> 00:38:55,888 I'm gonna need to see some identification. 705 00:38:58,069 --> 00:38:59,366 Really? 706 00:38:59,570 --> 00:39:01,800 Makes me feel young again. There you go. 707 00:39:04,475 --> 00:39:06,670 Oh, shit, it's Cary Hutchins. 708 00:39:09,347 --> 00:39:11,315 She had the biggest tits I've ever seen. 709 00:39:11,515 --> 00:39:13,346 I heard she got breast-reduction surgery. 710 00:39:13,551 --> 00:39:15,212 What? Making your tits smaller? 711 00:39:15,419 --> 00:39:18,479 That's like slapping God for giving you a gorgeous gift. 712 00:39:18,689 --> 00:39:19,951 She had back problems, man. 713 00:39:20,157 --> 00:39:23,251 And it's not just making them smaller. They completely reshape them. 714 00:39:23,461 --> 00:39:25,395 They make them more supple and symmetrical. 715 00:39:26,163 --> 00:39:28,063 I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. 716 00:39:28,265 --> 00:39:29,823 Let's make a move. 717 00:39:31,402 --> 00:39:33,233 - She's going around the corner. - Come on! 718 00:39:39,643 --> 00:39:42,578 Okay. Your total is 96.59. 719 00:39:52,523 --> 00:39:53,785 I don't believe it! 720 00:39:54,725 --> 00:39:56,750 Are you okay, mister? 721 00:39:57,561 --> 00:39:59,688 What the shit was that? 722 00:40:01,232 --> 00:40:04,258 I don't believe it. I don't believe it. 723 00:40:05,770 --> 00:40:07,101 I don't believe it. 724 00:40:07,304 --> 00:40:09,670 I don't know, man. I think she looked better before. 725 00:40:09,874 --> 00:40:13,275 But now that she can jog comfortably, she's in the best shape she's ever- 726 00:40:16,647 --> 00:40:18,410 What is this? What's that? 727 00:40:21,152 --> 00:40:22,414 Oh, man. 728 00:40:27,658 --> 00:40:29,216 Holy shit, they busted Fogell. 729 00:40:30,327 --> 00:40:32,227 How did this happen, Evan? Fuck, man! 730 00:40:32,430 --> 00:40:33,920 His dad's gonna fucking kill him. 731 00:40:34,131 --> 00:40:35,291 Look, okay? 732 00:40:35,499 --> 00:40:38,900 He assaulted the customer, grabbed the cash and ran out. 733 00:40:39,103 --> 00:40:40,070 So... 734 00:40:40,271 --> 00:40:41,898 - How-? - How-? How-? How-? 735 00:40:42,106 --> 00:40:45,507 - Say when, height-wise. - I'm gonna start up here, tell me when. 736 00:40:45,709 --> 00:40:47,939 - I'll start on the bottom and- - When. 737 00:40:48,145 --> 00:40:50,170 Whatever 5'10" is, he was 5'10". 738 00:40:50,381 --> 00:40:53,043 Ethnically, I mean, did- what-? 739 00:40:54,251 --> 00:40:58,813 I mean, was he-? Was he like us, or-? 740 00:41:00,191 --> 00:41:01,488 A woman? 741 00:41:01,692 --> 00:41:02,716 - Female? - No. 742 00:41:02,927 --> 00:41:05,418 - Is that what you're asking? - No, no. Was he-? 743 00:41:05,629 --> 00:41:06,596 - Like... - What? What? 744 00:41:06,797 --> 00:41:07,764 - African? - Af- Af- 745 00:41:07,965 --> 00:41:09,489 - Was he African? - African. 746 00:41:09,700 --> 00:41:11,759 No. He was American, and he was like you. 747 00:41:11,969 --> 00:41:14,836 - He looked just like you. - He was Jewish. Okay, Jew. 748 00:41:15,039 --> 00:41:17,530 - It's an odd crime for a Jew. - They're pretty docile. 749 00:41:17,741 --> 00:41:21,336 Okay, so we have an African Jew wearing a hoodie. 750 00:41:21,545 --> 00:41:25,072 No, you don't. No. That's not what I said. Is that what you heard me say? 751 00:41:25,282 --> 00:41:28,080 I said he looked like you. Do you look like an African Jew? 752 00:41:28,953 --> 00:41:31,114 - No, I look like a cop. - Yeah. 753 00:41:32,456 --> 00:41:34,651 He was Caucasian. 754 00:41:34,859 --> 00:41:36,622 - Caucasian. - All right. 755 00:41:36,827 --> 00:41:37,794 - Okay. - Well, touché. 756 00:41:37,995 --> 00:41:40,327 Kind of looked like Eminem. Does that help you? 757 00:41:40,531 --> 00:41:41,498 - An M&M. - An M&M. 758 00:41:41,699 --> 00:41:44,395 - So he was circular-? - Marshall Mathers. Eminem? 759 00:41:44,602 --> 00:41:47,799 - The rapper, Eminem. - Did he look like this? 760 00:41:48,339 --> 00:41:50,830 - I'm an amateur. I kind of- - That looks like an M&M. 761 00:41:51,041 --> 00:41:55,410 Longer face? Bigger nose? Would you say his mouth was wider? 762 00:41:55,613 --> 00:41:56,978 Open? A gap? 763 00:41:57,181 --> 00:42:02,016 Is there another squad car in the area that could be of further assistance? 764 00:42:02,219 --> 00:42:03,846 I don't seem to be getting any. 765 00:42:04,054 --> 00:42:06,955 Okay, so just walk me through again what this guy did. 766 00:42:07,157 --> 00:42:10,217 He- He- He came in, he's wielding- 767 00:42:10,427 --> 00:42:14,693 He's wielding something. He hits this small gentleman in the slacks. 768 00:42:14,899 --> 00:42:17,925 And then he jumps over you, he feels you up, violates you. 769 00:42:18,135 --> 00:42:19,796 - I did not say that. - No, he doesn't. 770 00:42:20,004 --> 00:42:23,633 Look, I can't do this. I told you already, I have an exam tomorrow. 771 00:42:23,841 --> 00:42:27,174 Can you understand that? I have a goddamn veterinary exam! 772 00:42:28,746 --> 00:42:30,509 Goddamn it. This is bullshit. 773 00:42:30,714 --> 00:42:33,444 This is some bullshit. I got an exam tomorrow. Forget this. 774 00:42:33,651 --> 00:42:35,516 Well, apparently someone has an exam. 775 00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:37,380 How'd you know? 776 00:42:38,255 --> 00:42:39,882 You. You're the one that got punched? 777 00:42:40,090 --> 00:42:41,717 - Yeah. - Okay. 778 00:42:41,926 --> 00:42:44,292 First things first. What is your name? 779 00:42:48,165 --> 00:42:49,894 My name? 780 00:42:50,100 --> 00:42:53,900 It's M- McLov- McLovin. 781 00:42:54,505 --> 00:42:55,972 McLovin? 782 00:42:56,173 --> 00:42:57,538 Yeah. 783 00:42:58,609 --> 00:43:00,099 Now, what's your first name? 784 00:43:00,311 --> 00:43:01,505 What? 785 00:43:01,712 --> 00:43:03,543 - Your first name? - My first name? 786 00:43:04,815 --> 00:43:09,479 Technically I don't have a first name, so don't worry about my first name. 787 00:43:10,554 --> 00:43:12,715 But we're the police. 788 00:43:12,923 --> 00:43:14,754 We just wanna get the story straight. 789 00:43:16,293 --> 00:43:17,453 - Come on. - Fuck, man. 790 00:43:17,661 --> 00:43:20,061 - Come on! - He must be so afraid. 791 00:43:20,264 --> 00:43:23,233 I don't believe this bullshit. I can't believe this is happening! 792 00:43:23,434 --> 00:43:26,926 I didn't know you could get arrested for this shit. We need that liquor. 793 00:43:27,137 --> 00:43:29,765 - Are they gonna take him downtown? - Fuck Fogell. 794 00:43:29,974 --> 00:43:31,805 He got arrested, okay? We're on our own. 795 00:43:32,009 --> 00:43:33,533 We need a new way to get liq- 796 00:43:33,744 --> 00:43:37,339 Fuck! The money, man! Fuck! How much money can you get? 797 00:43:37,548 --> 00:43:39,709 Why are you talking about money? What about Fogell? 798 00:43:39,917 --> 00:43:43,580 That doesn't matter anymore. I lost a hundred dollars of Jules' money. 799 00:43:43,787 --> 00:43:47,348 Are we gonna bust him out of jail? Bake a cake with a fucking file in it? 800 00:43:47,558 --> 00:43:51,619 Fuck Fogell. We need a new way to get liquor, which is fucking impossible. 801 00:43:51,829 --> 00:43:54,730 All right, you need to calm down. We need to think for a second. 802 00:43:54,932 --> 00:43:57,696 - We need to think this out. - Fuck thinking, we need to act! 803 00:44:00,037 --> 00:44:01,265 Seth! 804 00:44:01,472 --> 00:44:04,305 - What the fuck happened? - Just- Just get up. Slowly. 805 00:44:04,508 --> 00:44:07,272 You all right? You okay? 806 00:44:07,478 --> 00:44:10,413 I am so sorry, man. I am so sorry. 807 00:44:10,614 --> 00:44:14,607 I didn't even effing see you at all, man. Are you okay? 808 00:44:14,818 --> 00:44:18,219 So it's just McLovin? 809 00:44:18,422 --> 00:44:19,980 Yeah. 810 00:44:20,758 --> 00:44:22,953 - That's badass. - That is badass. 811 00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:24,388 - Really cool. - A badass name. 812 00:44:24,595 --> 00:44:27,291 - Lot of people with weird names. - Chingy. Shakira. 813 00:44:27,498 --> 00:44:28,931 Rafe. Pax. 814 00:44:29,133 --> 00:44:32,261 We arrested a man-lady who was legally named "Fuck. " 815 00:44:32,469 --> 00:44:34,334 Think he was Vietnamese, it was with a P-H. 816 00:44:34,538 --> 00:44:36,506 But it's still shocking to see on a license. 817 00:44:36,707 --> 00:44:40,234 - Okay, and how old are you, McLovin? - Old enough. 818 00:44:41,645 --> 00:44:43,112 Old enough for what? 819 00:44:45,582 --> 00:44:47,482 To party. 820 00:44:51,822 --> 00:44:53,687 Can I see your ID? 821 00:44:54,258 --> 00:44:56,317 Yeah, I think I have it. 822 00:45:20,851 --> 00:45:24,014 - You're an organ donor. - What? 823 00:45:24,221 --> 00:45:25,916 I didn't wanna, but my wife insisted. 824 00:45:26,123 --> 00:45:27,886 I give him shit for it too. All the time. 825 00:45:28,092 --> 00:45:31,118 I say, "It's just like a woman. Even after you're dead... 826 00:45:31,328 --> 00:45:34,388 ...they wanna tear your heart out. " - They wanna tear your... 827 00:45:34,598 --> 00:45:37,362 - I say it weekly and it's still funny. - It still makes me laugh. 828 00:45:37,568 --> 00:45:39,001 - Really funny. - There you go. 829 00:45:39,203 --> 00:45:42,297 I'm sorry, guys. I don't really have any information. 830 00:45:42,506 --> 00:45:45,066 He just hit me, and I didn't see what he looked like. 831 00:45:45,275 --> 00:45:47,641 - I don't know if I can help you. - You in a hurry? 832 00:45:47,845 --> 00:45:49,870 Yeah, kind of had to catch that bus. 833 00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:53,777 - Where were you headed? - Near 13th and Granville. 834 00:45:54,585 --> 00:45:57,383 - We can take you there. - Get your information on the way. 835 00:45:57,588 --> 00:45:59,852 - Why waste 2 bucks? - We'll take you. No problem. 836 00:46:00,057 --> 00:46:03,686 Please don't report me, man. We can figure this out, right? 837 00:46:03,894 --> 00:46:06,488 Why the fuck wouldn't I report you? You just hit me. 838 00:46:08,532 --> 00:46:10,523 Because I'll do anything. 839 00:46:10,734 --> 00:46:13,225 Please, okay? Anything. Like, literally... 840 00:46:13,437 --> 00:46:14,870 ...fucking anything. 841 00:46:15,072 --> 00:46:18,667 Name anything. Name it. Name it. 842 00:46:19,743 --> 00:46:22,507 All right, look. Hey, man. All right. 843 00:46:22,713 --> 00:46:24,146 Listen, you can trust me, okay? 844 00:46:24,815 --> 00:46:27,579 I'm gonna be totally honest with you. 845 00:46:29,019 --> 00:46:31,419 I have a warrant out for a totally nonviolent crime. 846 00:46:31,622 --> 00:46:35,353 Okay? There. Mercy Street, guys. 847 00:46:35,559 --> 00:46:37,254 I'll be honest with you for a second. 848 00:46:37,461 --> 00:46:39,691 You better get us a shitload of cash or a shitload of alcohol... 849 00:46:39,897 --> 00:46:41,558 ...or you're going to fucking prison. 850 00:46:41,765 --> 00:46:43,858 What are you doing, man? You don't need to- 851 00:46:44,067 --> 00:46:46,035 No, let's not- Let's hang on a second here. 852 00:46:46,236 --> 00:46:47,294 - Cough it up. - Fine. 853 00:46:47,504 --> 00:46:49,335 Don't know if we should be doing anything official. 854 00:46:49,573 --> 00:46:52,474 We're working together. It's like Let's Make a Deal. Here we go. 855 00:46:53,377 --> 00:46:54,776 Seven bucks? 856 00:46:54,978 --> 00:46:58,038 Are you fucking serious? This isn't enough. What are you, a 6-year-old? 857 00:46:58,315 --> 00:47:01,944 - It's all I have, man. It's all I have. - You better think of something quickly. 858 00:47:02,152 --> 00:47:06,111 - My back! My back. Cops, my back. - No, no, no. Wait, don't do that. 859 00:47:06,323 --> 00:47:08,587 All right, listen. I can get you alcohol. 860 00:47:08,792 --> 00:47:10,953 I'm going over to this party right now, bro. Okay? 861 00:47:11,161 --> 00:47:15,097 It's got booze, it's got girls. Booze and girls equals... 862 00:47:15,299 --> 00:47:17,494 I don't know. Do you? I don't know. Do you? 863 00:47:17,701 --> 00:47:20,636 - I think you do. Do you? - Yes. That's a definite yes. 864 00:47:20,838 --> 00:47:21,805 Definite yes, then. 865 00:47:22,005 --> 00:47:24,337 - Give me one sec to talk to him. - Stay right here. 866 00:47:24,541 --> 00:47:27,840 Yeah, yeah. Do what you gotta do. Mix it over. I'll be over by the car. 867 00:47:28,045 --> 00:47:31,014 Just talk it out. Hey, I'm a nice guy. 868 00:47:31,815 --> 00:47:33,942 - Come on, it's great. - What are you thinking? 869 00:47:34,151 --> 00:47:35,618 - What are you doing? - What? 870 00:47:35,819 --> 00:47:38,219 I lost Jules' money, Fogell's dead to us now... 871 00:47:38,422 --> 00:47:40,014 ...we don't have any choice. Let's go. 872 00:47:40,224 --> 00:47:43,193 I don't like this idea. This guy's fucking creepy, man. Look at him. 873 00:47:43,393 --> 00:47:46,157 What? He looks like a guy. That's what guys look like. 874 00:47:46,363 --> 00:47:48,991 - What is your problem? - You guys know a guy named Jimmy? 875 00:47:49,199 --> 00:47:51,429 You totally look like his brother. 876 00:47:51,635 --> 00:47:54,069 You totally look like his brother, man. 877 00:47:54,271 --> 00:47:55,829 You do. 878 00:47:57,541 --> 00:47:59,338 You promised Becca you'd get her alcohol. 879 00:47:59,543 --> 00:48:01,511 If you don't, she's gonna have a shitty night. 880 00:48:01,712 --> 00:48:03,680 That's all I'm saying. Come on. 881 00:48:04,481 --> 00:48:06,449 We bingo, bango, ready to go, go? 882 00:48:07,050 --> 00:48:09,575 - Good luck on your exam tomorrow. - Good luck on your exam. 883 00:48:09,786 --> 00:48:12,687 - You don't wanna ride the bus. - Buses smell like piss, generally. 884 00:48:12,890 --> 00:48:13,857 - You know why? - Why? 885 00:48:14,057 --> 00:48:15,649 People piss on them. 886 00:48:21,798 --> 00:48:26,758 You know, one of you bros could've come up and sat up with me. 887 00:48:26,970 --> 00:48:28,665 - We're fine back here. - Back's fine. 888 00:48:28,872 --> 00:48:30,806 Safe in the back seat. 889 00:48:34,278 --> 00:48:35,336 - Oh, my God. - What's up? 890 00:48:36,713 --> 00:48:39,307 - Hey, Jules. - Who is it? Who's on the phone? 891 00:48:39,516 --> 00:48:40,983 Seth. Hey, where are you? 892 00:48:41,184 --> 00:48:44,642 I'm in a cab right now, on the way to a liquor store. 893 00:48:44,855 --> 00:48:46,652 Good. I can't wait for you to get here. 894 00:48:46,857 --> 00:48:49,382 Well, I hope your friends are ready to get fucked up. 895 00:48:50,994 --> 00:48:52,222 I'm sure they will be. 896 00:48:52,429 --> 00:48:54,624 - Okay, I'll see you soon. - Peace. 897 00:48:55,599 --> 00:48:57,396 Oh, man! Dude, this is crazy. 898 00:48:57,601 --> 00:49:00,331 She called, she said, "I can't wait for you to get there. " 899 00:49:00,537 --> 00:49:03,472 That sounds like she fully wants it, man! Oh, yeah! 900 00:49:03,674 --> 00:49:08,168 Who's gonna give it to her, huh, my man? You, that's who. 901 00:49:08,378 --> 00:49:10,573 Man. 902 00:49:10,948 --> 00:49:12,609 You guys on MySpace, or...? 903 00:49:25,696 --> 00:49:29,723 Officers? I can answer those questions now if you want me to. 904 00:49:29,933 --> 00:49:32,959 We get the gist of it. You were buying beer, some guys punched you. 905 00:49:33,170 --> 00:49:35,365 Don't worry about it. We're not gonna find them. 906 00:49:35,572 --> 00:49:38,132 - Case closed. - But it was only- 907 00:49:49,519 --> 00:49:53,011 - But it was only one guy. - Only one guy? Shit. 908 00:49:53,223 --> 00:49:54,815 How am I supposed to find one guy? 909 00:49:55,025 --> 00:49:58,461 This job really isn't how, you know, shows like CSI make it out to be. 910 00:49:58,662 --> 00:50:02,291 When I first joined the force, I assumed there was semen on everything... 911 00:50:02,499 --> 00:50:04,967 ...and there was some, like, huge semen database... 912 00:50:05,168 --> 00:50:08,331 ...that had every bad guy's semen in it. There isn't. That doesn't exist. 913 00:50:08,538 --> 00:50:11,336 I often go to sleep and dream of waking up in a world where... 914 00:50:11,541 --> 00:50:13,975 ...everything's covered in semen. - I mean, who doesn't? 915 00:50:14,177 --> 00:50:16,145 Lt'd be nice. Like that crime scene today. 916 00:50:16,346 --> 00:50:18,780 If the man had ejaculated and then punched you... 917 00:50:18,982 --> 00:50:20,609 ...we'd have a shot at catching him. 918 00:50:20,817 --> 00:50:23,047 - No way. - Just punched in the face, no semen. 919 00:50:23,253 --> 00:50:25,744 - No semen. - Story of my life. 920 00:50:30,961 --> 00:50:34,761 Michaels here, he's six months in. 921 00:50:35,599 --> 00:50:37,999 He's young, but the Force is strong with this one. 922 00:50:38,201 --> 00:50:40,601 Learning you are, young padawan. 923 00:50:40,804 --> 00:50:42,396 Thank you very much. 924 00:50:43,673 --> 00:50:46,039 - That's Yoda. - Are you familiar with Yoda? 925 00:50:46,243 --> 00:50:47,733 From Attack of the Clones? 926 00:50:47,944 --> 00:50:52,005 We have a 245 at East 24 and Montgomery, Bailey's Bar and Grill. 927 00:50:52,215 --> 00:50:54,183 Car 98 on it. 928 00:50:54,384 --> 00:50:57,319 See, Michaels, you always take a call at a bar because... 929 00:50:57,521 --> 00:50:59,580 ...better or worse, you get a beer out of it. 930 00:51:00,524 --> 00:51:01,582 Pretty sweet, huh? 931 00:51:01,792 --> 00:51:03,885 - True that. Amazing thinking. - Hey, McLovin. 932 00:51:04,094 --> 00:51:07,154 We got a situation at Bailey's, so we'll drop you off after, all right? 933 00:51:07,364 --> 00:51:09,389 Actually, I kind of have to be somewhere- 934 00:51:09,599 --> 00:51:12,659 - Sweet. Sit tight. - Set course for Bailey's, warp 10. 935 00:51:12,869 --> 00:51:14,200 Engage. 936 00:51:19,910 --> 00:51:21,138 Yeah. 937 00:51:21,344 --> 00:51:24,404 Welcome to the Thunderdome. 938 00:51:26,550 --> 00:51:29,178 Hey, man, are you sure it's cool that we're here with you? 939 00:51:29,386 --> 00:51:30,717 Oh, definitely, man. 940 00:51:30,921 --> 00:51:32,889 I'm essentially best friends with the guy... 941 00:51:33,090 --> 00:51:35,024 ...so a bunch of my buds are coming. 942 00:51:35,225 --> 00:51:38,023 We're gonna rock out with our cocks out. Just kidding. 943 00:51:38,228 --> 00:51:40,958 - We are gonna rock out. - Just go, just go. 944 00:51:41,164 --> 00:51:43,132 What's up? What's up? What's up? 945 00:51:44,367 --> 00:51:46,767 Hello, hello. Hey, guys. 946 00:52:04,554 --> 00:52:06,681 This is something a smart person wouldn't do. 947 00:52:06,890 --> 00:52:09,518 Look, just act cool and act casual, and try and look old. 948 00:52:09,726 --> 00:52:12,388 We'll get the booze and get the fuck out of here, okay? 949 00:52:16,333 --> 00:52:18,460 Hey, where the party at? Right. 950 00:52:18,668 --> 00:52:21,432 - You got those shots, bro? - It's coming. 951 00:52:22,439 --> 00:52:23,929 Come on, let's party. 952 00:52:24,141 --> 00:52:27,542 Come on. Do it up. 953 00:52:33,383 --> 00:52:35,544 We should grab one of these buckets and get out. 954 00:52:35,752 --> 00:52:38,516 You out of your mind? How are we gonna get a fucking bucket out? 955 00:52:38,722 --> 00:52:40,587 - Dude, what the fuck? - Hey, man. 956 00:52:40,790 --> 00:52:42,587 What the fuck do you think you're doing? 957 00:52:42,792 --> 00:52:45,818 - What are you-? What? Nothing. - You using my phone? 958 00:52:46,029 --> 00:52:49,658 - What do you think you're doing? - Hang up. Nothing. 959 00:52:49,866 --> 00:52:51,731 What- What- What's wrong, Mark? 960 00:52:51,935 --> 00:52:54,631 You weren't invited. Get the fuck out of here. 961 00:52:54,838 --> 00:52:57,932 - Come on, Mark. It's cool, man. - You using my fucking phone? 962 00:52:58,141 --> 00:52:59,938 You calling your fucking friends again? 963 00:53:00,143 --> 00:53:02,236 You calling your friends, your fantastic friends? 964 00:53:02,445 --> 00:53:04,345 No. I mean, yes. But I mean I'll- 965 00:53:04,548 --> 00:53:06,982 Come on, man, just relax. Mark, please. 966 00:53:07,184 --> 00:53:09,345 Get the fuck out of here. The fuck out of my house. 967 00:53:09,553 --> 00:53:11,020 Get the fuck out of my house. 968 00:53:11,221 --> 00:53:14,384 - This is my house. - Don't be such a dick, man! 969 00:53:14,758 --> 00:53:16,157 What the fuck? 970 00:53:16,359 --> 00:53:18,350 Mark! You really wanna do this, man? 971 00:53:18,562 --> 00:53:21,156 Here we go. We're really gonna do this? 972 00:53:22,699 --> 00:53:24,496 That's right, motherfucker. 973 00:53:25,635 --> 00:53:27,865 Come on, pussy. Get up, dude. 974 00:53:28,405 --> 00:53:31,135 Oh, shit. I'm sorry, bro. I'm sorry, bro. I'm sorry, bro. 975 00:53:31,341 --> 00:53:34,936 Tiger got out of the cage, man. All right? I'm sorry. Come on, Mark. 976 00:53:35,145 --> 00:53:37,306 Let's just chill. Everyone just chill out. 977 00:53:37,814 --> 00:53:39,714 Truce, man. 978 00:53:42,619 --> 00:53:44,553 Right in the nads! 979 00:53:47,338 --> 00:53:50,899 This is for your friends. Here, have another one. 980 00:53:51,109 --> 00:53:54,306 Shit. Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit. Oh, my God. What do we do? 981 00:53:54,512 --> 00:53:56,207 - Come on. Come on. - Choose one. 982 00:53:57,315 --> 00:54:02,150 - We can slip out the back, man. - Come on. Let's hurry up and do this. 983 00:54:02,353 --> 00:54:04,446 Are you crazy, man? Wanna end up like that guy? 984 00:54:04,656 --> 00:54:07,216 Not me. I need my nuts, man, for a lot of things. 985 00:54:07,425 --> 00:54:09,154 - We need liquor. - You need it. I don't. 986 00:54:09,360 --> 00:54:12,022 I'm gonna tell Becca how I feel. Maybe she'll get with me. 987 00:54:12,230 --> 00:54:14,528 I'm not gonna get her drunk out of her mind. 988 00:54:14,732 --> 00:54:17,496 Oh, really? Then how come you never made a move, you pussy? 989 00:54:17,702 --> 00:54:21,069 Because I respect her, Seth. I'm not gonna put unfair pressure on her. 990 00:54:21,272 --> 00:54:23,263 I don't see a problem. Let's just do it. 991 00:54:23,474 --> 00:54:26,170 We're leaving, okay? You wanna get killed for liquor? 992 00:54:26,377 --> 00:54:29,676 No, but I would get killed for pussy, no questions asked. 993 00:54:29,881 --> 00:54:33,009 - Fuck this, man. - You're just gonna bail on me? 994 00:54:33,217 --> 00:54:36,084 - I'm going. - Fucking bitch. 995 00:54:36,688 --> 00:54:38,986 Move, people. 996 00:54:39,991 --> 00:54:43,620 - Thank you. - Oh, I love this place. 997 00:54:52,804 --> 00:54:54,431 What the hell is going on in there? 998 00:54:54,639 --> 00:54:56,869 If the bullets start flying, hit the deck. 999 00:54:57,075 --> 00:54:59,270 You pissed everywhere, you son of a bitch! 1000 00:54:59,477 --> 00:55:02,708 Everywhere? You didn't see me pissing anywhere. 1001 00:55:02,914 --> 00:55:04,643 I don't know what you're talking about. 1002 00:55:04,849 --> 00:55:06,544 Take your nuts out of your shells! 1003 00:55:06,751 --> 00:55:08,343 Michaels, I got your back. 1004 00:55:08,553 --> 00:55:10,453 Why don't you show this rummy how we roll? 1005 00:55:10,655 --> 00:55:11,952 10-4. 1006 00:55:12,557 --> 00:55:15,549 Excuse me, sir. Stop what you are doing at once. 1007 00:55:16,861 --> 00:55:19,989 - Blue guys! - Resisting. Resisting! 1008 00:55:20,198 --> 00:55:21,756 - Slater! - Michaels! 1009 00:55:22,233 --> 00:55:23,461 Everybody stay calm. 1010 00:55:25,336 --> 00:55:28,499 - Everybody stay calm. - Get the fuck out of my way! 1011 00:55:28,906 --> 00:55:30,669 Stay calm! Fuck! 1012 00:55:31,609 --> 00:55:33,509 - Should I shoot him? - No, no, no! 1013 00:55:33,711 --> 00:55:35,975 - No! - Stop him, McLovin! 1014 00:55:36,180 --> 00:55:38,910 McLovin, stop him! Do it, do it, do it, do it! 1015 00:55:43,454 --> 00:55:46,685 Please stop it, you fucking bum. What the fuck? 1016 00:56:01,372 --> 00:56:04,364 McLovin! Nice! 1017 00:56:04,942 --> 00:56:06,842 He just came at me. I took him down. 1018 00:56:07,045 --> 00:56:09,570 - I'm buying you a beer, McLovin. - I'm buying you one too. 1019 00:56:09,781 --> 00:56:12,341 Take note. That's how you take down a motherfucker. 1020 00:56:12,550 --> 00:56:13,915 That's right. 1021 00:56:14,118 --> 00:56:16,678 McLovin in the fucking house! 1022 00:56:51,456 --> 00:56:55,790 Hey. You dance hot. 1023 00:56:56,728 --> 00:56:58,423 Thank you. 1024 00:57:14,245 --> 00:57:18,045 Okay, okay. Here we- Here we go. 1025 00:57:18,916 --> 00:57:20,611 - Hello? - Evan, it's Becca. 1026 00:57:20,818 --> 00:57:22,547 Oh, Becca. Hi. 1027 00:57:22,754 --> 00:57:26,986 Hey. Hello. Hey. Becca. 1028 00:57:27,391 --> 00:57:28,881 - Becca- - Evan, can you hear me? 1029 00:57:29,093 --> 00:57:31,118 - Hello? What? - Can you hear- -? Piece of shit! 1030 00:57:31,329 --> 00:57:33,695 Guy sells me a piece of shit fucking phone. 1031 00:57:33,898 --> 00:57:35,331 - Becca? - It's Becca. 1032 00:57:35,533 --> 00:57:37,524 I get one bar everywhere I fucking go. 1033 00:57:37,735 --> 00:57:40,499 - What is he saying? - Fucking asshole. 1034 00:57:40,705 --> 00:57:42,468 - I think- - What happened? 1035 00:57:42,673 --> 00:57:44,231 Son-of-a-fucking-bitch phone company. 1036 00:57:44,442 --> 00:57:47,104 - What? It's rude. Hello? - Fuck. You suck. 1037 00:57:47,311 --> 00:57:48,938 Bullshit phone. Piece of shit. 1038 00:57:49,147 --> 00:57:51,479 I swear I'll bitchslap you so fucking hard. 1039 00:57:51,682 --> 00:57:53,240 - What? - Bec-? 1040 00:58:37,295 --> 00:58:39,160 Thanks. 1041 00:58:40,865 --> 00:58:42,594 This is fucking crazy. 1042 00:58:51,642 --> 00:58:54,907 Hey. Look what fell out of the truck! 1043 00:58:56,747 --> 00:58:58,180 You're full of shit. 1044 00:58:58,382 --> 00:59:00,316 Yeah, I know. 1045 00:59:01,018 --> 00:59:05,614 Dude. Dude. We're so gonna get fucked up. 1046 00:59:05,823 --> 00:59:08,155 - All right. - Hey. 1047 00:59:08,693 --> 00:59:10,320 What is that? 1048 00:59:11,696 --> 00:59:13,323 I don't know. What? 1049 00:59:13,531 --> 00:59:17,262 That fucking stain on your pants, idiot. What is that? 1050 00:59:17,768 --> 00:59:19,861 - What are you talking about, man? - Dude. 1051 00:59:20,805 --> 00:59:23,239 - Is that blood? - What the fuck is that? 1052 00:59:23,441 --> 00:59:25,409 - Are you bleeding? - I'm not cut or anything. 1053 00:59:25,610 --> 00:59:28,306 - Why would I be bleeding? - It's fucking blood, man. 1054 00:59:29,480 --> 00:59:32,142 Were you dancing with some chick in there? 1055 00:59:32,717 --> 00:59:34,947 - Yeah, so? - It's blood. 1056 00:59:35,152 --> 00:59:38,679 - Dude, that's not funny. - It's blood, dude. 1057 00:59:38,890 --> 00:59:42,417 But why would I be bleeding? Why the fuck would I be bl-? 1058 00:59:42,627 --> 00:59:44,390 Dude, why would there be bl-? 1059 00:59:46,697 --> 00:59:49,666 Oh, fuck. Oh, my God. 1060 00:59:51,869 --> 00:59:55,270 Oh, shit. I'm gonna fucking throw up. 1061 00:59:55,473 --> 00:59:56,997 Someone perioded on my fucking leg? 1062 00:59:57,208 --> 00:59:59,267 - Oh, shit. - What the fuck do I do? 1063 00:59:59,477 --> 01:00:01,707 I've never before seen that in my life! 1064 01:00:01,913 --> 01:00:03,574 This is so disgusting. 1065 01:00:03,781 --> 01:00:05,271 - Yes, it is. - I'm gonna go get Bill. 1066 01:00:05,483 --> 01:00:07,007 - He's gotta check this shit out. - Fuck, yeah. 1067 01:00:07,218 --> 01:00:10,415 No. Who's Bill? Don't tell Bill! Bill has nothing to do with this! 1068 01:00:10,621 --> 01:00:13,181 Hey, calm down. Let me get a picture of that real quick. 1069 01:00:13,391 --> 01:00:14,722 No, you can't have a picture! 1070 01:00:14,926 --> 01:00:16,791 - Dude, stop! - Bill, Bill! Check it out! 1071 01:00:16,994 --> 01:00:18,894 This kid's got period blood on his slacks. 1072 01:00:19,096 --> 01:00:20,893 It's merlot. That's what you don't get. 1073 01:00:21,098 --> 01:00:23,726 Hey, Pat! This jerk-off's got period blood on his pants! 1074 01:00:23,935 --> 01:00:25,903 - Please stop. - God, man, let me see. 1075 01:00:26,103 --> 01:00:29,038 Oh, my God, that's a fucking man-gina, man. 1076 01:00:29,240 --> 01:00:32,641 - Do you need a tampon? I could- - Wait, wait. I have one! I have one! 1077 01:00:33,311 --> 01:00:35,302 Yeah, right? I don't know. 1078 01:00:35,513 --> 01:00:38,539 - I gotta wash this off. Is this the line? - What does it look like? 1079 01:00:38,749 --> 01:00:40,410 Fuck me, right? 1080 01:00:55,666 --> 01:00:58,157 "Yeah, I'm McLovin. I'd like to buy some-" 1081 01:01:00,371 --> 01:01:01,963 Shit. 1082 01:01:02,173 --> 01:01:04,505 - Rewind, rewind. - Rewind it. Yeah! 1083 01:01:04,709 --> 01:01:06,734 So hot. Let's see it again. 1084 01:01:09,213 --> 01:01:12,614 - Your legs lifted off the ground. - That is bona fide badass, man. 1085 01:01:12,817 --> 01:01:15,183 You gotta keep that tape, McLovin. It is badass. 1086 01:01:15,386 --> 01:01:16,648 - It really is. - Really? 1087 01:01:16,854 --> 01:01:19,687 Well, don't you guys, like, need it for, like, evidence or...? 1088 01:01:19,890 --> 01:01:23,053 The only thing that's evidence of is you can take a hit like a champ. 1089 01:01:23,260 --> 01:01:24,955 Seriously. Take that. 1090 01:01:25,162 --> 01:01:29,758 Are there any ladies we'd like to show this tape to? 1091 01:01:30,534 --> 01:01:34,061 No. You don't wanna meet a chick in a bar, man. Seriously. 1092 01:01:34,271 --> 01:01:36,899 That was a turning point in my life, when I realized that. 1093 01:01:37,108 --> 01:01:41,306 You gotta go to other places. You gotta go to a spin class, a farmers' market... 1094 01:01:41,512 --> 01:01:44,208 ...pumpkin patch, given the time of year. 1095 01:01:44,415 --> 01:01:46,883 Just somewhere social, non-threatening. 1096 01:01:47,084 --> 01:01:50,315 - You know, something like that. - Yeah, I met the missus at paintball. 1097 01:01:50,521 --> 01:01:53,490 Yeah, I shot her in the neck. And we just... 1098 01:01:53,691 --> 01:01:55,556 And we just hit it off, you know. 1099 01:01:55,760 --> 01:01:59,196 My first wife- Who is a whore, by the way. 1100 01:01:59,397 --> 01:02:00,728 - Where do you think I met her? 1101 01:02:00,931 --> 01:02:03,764 A bar. A bar. 1102 01:02:03,968 --> 01:02:05,959 - It was this bar. - It was this bar. 1103 01:02:06,170 --> 01:02:08,331 Yeah, it was this bar. 1104 01:02:08,606 --> 01:02:12,303 Bought her a Binion's, complimented her on her tote bag... 1105 01:02:12,510 --> 01:02:17,379 ...and next thing I know, she's putting her mouth around the tip of my penis. 1106 01:02:18,182 --> 01:02:20,207 You don't have to tell me that. 1107 01:02:20,418 --> 01:02:23,182 - Right in there. - She opened up my world, sexually. 1108 01:02:23,387 --> 01:02:25,787 On our wedding night, we had group sex. 1109 01:02:25,990 --> 01:02:27,355 I wasn't involved in it. 1110 01:02:27,558 --> 01:02:30,083 - But I could hear it through the wall. - I was. 1111 01:02:30,294 --> 01:02:33,286 She was amazing. And then it was exactly 23 months later... 1112 01:02:33,497 --> 01:02:35,522 ...that I found out she was an actual whore. 1113 01:02:35,733 --> 01:02:37,701 - We discovered her on the street. - Yeah. 1114 01:02:37,902 --> 01:02:39,335 I'm sorry. 1115 01:02:39,537 --> 01:02:41,767 She was bad. Fucking whoring bitch. 1116 01:02:41,972 --> 01:02:45,408 - But you got a new wife now, so... - Yeah. Yeah. 1117 01:02:45,609 --> 01:02:47,907 And she is wonderful. 1118 01:02:48,112 --> 01:02:50,080 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You'll meet her. 1119 01:02:50,281 --> 01:02:52,442 You know what? I bet I know your trick, McLovin. 1120 01:02:52,650 --> 01:02:54,982 - You play the whole myst- - Calling all units. 1121 01:02:55,186 --> 01:02:56,813 Just turn that off. 1122 01:02:57,021 --> 01:03:00,013 Send backup! There's so much blood- - 1123 01:03:00,224 --> 01:03:03,955 I bet you play the whole mysterious-guy thing, right? 1124 01:03:04,762 --> 01:03:07,959 Yeah, seriously. How's it going with the ladies? 1125 01:03:08,232 --> 01:03:12,259 It's not the going with the ladies I care about... 1126 01:03:12,470 --> 01:03:15,268 ...it's the coming. 1127 01:03:17,141 --> 01:03:19,109 - I get it. - What is it? What is it? 1128 01:03:19,310 --> 01:03:20,607 Like: 1129 01:03:20,811 --> 01:03:22,472 Like coming. 1130 01:03:25,349 --> 01:03:29,581 - That's funny. That is really funny. - Oh, my God. 1131 01:03:34,592 --> 01:03:37,755 All right, looks like we got a call. We can't pay for these. 1132 01:03:37,962 --> 01:03:39,259 10-4. We'll be right there. 1133 01:03:39,463 --> 01:03:42,091 - Speedy Gonzales, let's go. - We should get road beers. 1134 01:03:42,633 --> 01:03:44,601 Hell, yeah, We should get some road beers. 1135 01:03:44,802 --> 01:03:46,963 Can I have 13 beers to go, please? 1136 01:03:47,171 --> 01:03:50,402 Please. God, my fucking leg. 1137 01:04:06,657 --> 01:04:08,318 Fuck. 1138 01:04:34,552 --> 01:04:36,918 - I think it's him. - Is it him? 1139 01:04:37,121 --> 01:04:38,383 - Hello? - Hey, Becca. 1140 01:04:38,589 --> 01:04:42,286 Hi, I had a bad reception. So about your Goldslick... 1141 01:04:42,493 --> 01:04:45,189 - Guys, shut up. - Hey, what's going on over there? 1142 01:04:45,396 --> 01:04:47,455 It's nothing. It's just- 1143 01:04:47,665 --> 01:04:50,532 I was just calling, you know, to see if you were coming... 1144 01:04:50,734 --> 01:04:53,965 ...because I thought maybe you were stuck at, like, a nightclub... 1145 01:04:54,171 --> 01:04:56,696 ...or a cocktail party or something. 1146 01:04:56,907 --> 01:05:00,172 No, no, I'm gonna be there for sure. Full throttle. 1147 01:05:00,377 --> 01:05:02,072 - Charlie's Angels 2. - Awesome. 1148 01:05:03,981 --> 01:05:06,279 - I can't wait to see you. Evan? - Okay, bye. 1149 01:05:06,483 --> 01:05:09,941 That was the first time I ever did coke. Off that bitch's nipple. That was so- 1150 01:05:10,154 --> 01:05:11,883 - A little white sniff. - That was awesome. 1151 01:05:12,089 --> 01:05:13,056 That was gorgeous. 1152 01:05:13,257 --> 01:05:16,522 Hey, hey, hey. You guys, stay in this room, man. 1153 01:05:16,727 --> 01:05:19,924 They're gonna kill that guy tonight. That chick's boyfriend is pissed. 1154 01:05:20,130 --> 01:05:21,654 Yeah. He's a beast. 1155 01:05:21,865 --> 01:05:24,891 I've been praying for a fight. I'm literally waking up and praying... 1156 01:05:25,102 --> 01:05:27,036 ...to see a fucking fight. - Hey, hey, hey. 1157 01:05:29,273 --> 01:05:30,433 Who's that guy? 1158 01:05:35,479 --> 01:05:36,468 - Hi. - Who is that guy? 1159 01:05:36,680 --> 01:05:38,705 - Who's this guy? - Pleasure to see you fellas. 1160 01:05:38,916 --> 01:05:39,974 Hi, everyone. 1161 01:05:40,184 --> 01:05:41,845 - Who are you? - I'm nobody. 1162 01:05:42,052 --> 01:05:43,610 No, no, no. I know you. I know you. 1163 01:05:43,821 --> 01:05:46,051 He was at that party I was telling you about. 1164 01:05:46,257 --> 01:05:47,417 - No, no. - Who is it? 1165 01:05:47,625 --> 01:05:50,753 Remember? He's Jimmy's brother. The guy. The singer. 1166 01:05:51,195 --> 01:05:53,595 - No. - He's the guy with the beautiful voice. 1167 01:05:53,797 --> 01:05:56,357 - The fucking singer, Jimmy's brother! - That's not me, man. 1168 01:05:56,567 --> 01:05:58,296 - Oh, my God. - Sing for us! Sing. 1169 01:05:58,502 --> 01:05:59,969 "It's not me"? You fucking lying? 1170 01:06:00,170 --> 01:06:03,264 No, I don't mean to accuse you guys of being ill-informed, but- 1171 01:06:03,474 --> 01:06:05,840 My brother came from Scottsdale, Arizona to be here. 1172 01:06:06,043 --> 01:06:07,408 You're not gonna sing for him? 1173 01:06:07,611 --> 01:06:08,771 - Fucking bullshit. - Sing. 1174 01:06:08,979 --> 01:06:11,140 - You're a fucking singer. - You sing good. 1175 01:06:11,348 --> 01:06:12,815 - Sing it again. - Like a bird. 1176 01:06:13,017 --> 01:06:15,679 - No, I know, I just- I want to. - You want a line of cocaine? 1177 01:06:15,886 --> 01:06:16,978 - No way, man. - Yeah. 1178 01:06:17,187 --> 01:06:19,348 Don't make this weird. Sing. 1179 01:06:19,556 --> 01:06:21,717 - Sing it again. - Turbo. 1180 01:06:26,096 --> 01:06:28,121 - Fuck! Over! - Okay, watch this. 1181 01:06:28,332 --> 01:06:31,165 I'll get it right on the nose. 1182 01:06:31,368 --> 01:06:33,598 You're gonna fuck it up. You're gonna fuck it up. 1183 01:06:33,804 --> 01:06:35,635 Under! 1184 01:06:35,839 --> 01:06:38,034 I feel hammered. That doesn't make any sense. 1185 01:06:38,242 --> 01:06:40,836 - You're a fucking pussy. - Okay, okay. Great, great. 1186 01:06:41,045 --> 01:06:44,503 - Okay, McLovin, see if you can do it. - The kid's gonna nail it. 1187 01:06:44,715 --> 01:06:47,582 Come on, McLovin. Do it, buddy. Come on, buddy! 1188 01:06:47,785 --> 01:06:50,379 - Bring it! - 0.08, motherfuckers! 1189 01:06:50,587 --> 01:06:53,249 - Man! - That's my boy! 1190 01:06:53,657 --> 01:06:55,591 - Yes! - Beginner's luck. Beginner's luck. 1191 01:06:56,460 --> 01:06:59,258 So, what's it like to have guns? 1192 01:06:59,463 --> 01:07:02,159 It is awesome, McLovin. 1193 01:07:02,366 --> 01:07:04,027 - I mean, it's mindbl- - It's great. 1194 01:07:04,234 --> 01:07:06,964 I haven't had one for long, a few months, but I'll tell you... 1195 01:07:07,171 --> 01:07:08,934 ...it's like having two cocks. - Yup. 1196 01:07:09,139 --> 01:07:11,972 If one of your cocks could kill someone. 1197 01:07:13,077 --> 01:07:15,637 - Can I hold one? - What? 1198 01:07:15,846 --> 01:07:17,143 Can I hold one of your guns? 1199 01:07:20,417 --> 01:07:23,477 - Yeah, sure. - Fine with me. Why not? 1200 01:07:23,687 --> 01:07:25,985 Everyone should hold a gun at least a couple times. 1201 01:07:26,190 --> 01:07:27,623 Yeah, there you go. 1202 01:07:27,825 --> 01:07:30,157 - Have a blast. - "Have a blast. " 1203 01:07:30,361 --> 01:07:34,525 - That's funny. - I've never held one of these before. 1204 01:07:34,732 --> 01:07:37,462 - Are they hard to shoot? - Lf you're Michaels, they are. 1205 01:07:37,668 --> 01:07:39,363 - He can't shoot worth dick. - What? 1206 01:07:39,570 --> 01:07:41,060 I can shoot. What are you-? Wait. 1207 01:07:41,271 --> 01:07:43,569 - I can't shoot worth dick? - You cannot shoot. 1208 01:07:43,774 --> 01:07:46,208 - I shot that cat last week. - It was already dead, man. 1209 01:07:46,410 --> 01:07:47,968 - I still shot it. - That cat was dead. 1210 01:07:48,178 --> 01:07:50,043 There's only one way to settle this, guys. 1211 01:07:50,614 --> 01:07:52,104 - Shoot-off. - Shoot-off. 1212 01:07:52,316 --> 01:07:55,149 - Shoot-off! - Shoot-off! 1213 01:07:55,352 --> 01:07:57,047 There's a lot of reasons why I like you. 1214 01:07:57,254 --> 01:07:59,552 I mean, you're handsome and you're a good friend. 1215 01:07:59,757 --> 01:08:03,784 Dude, there he is. That's the guy. Hey, Mark, right there. 1216 01:08:05,696 --> 01:08:06,720 Oh, you got a stain too. 1217 01:08:08,565 --> 01:08:10,726 - We're blood brothers. - Shut the fuck up. 1218 01:08:10,934 --> 01:08:13,459 You're in my house, you answer my questions. 1219 01:08:13,670 --> 01:08:15,570 What were you doing dancing with Jacinda? 1220 01:08:18,275 --> 01:08:19,537 I don't even dance. I just- 1221 01:08:19,743 --> 01:08:22,268 I don't even dance ever, so- I've never even tried it. 1222 01:08:22,479 --> 01:08:25,141 Then where the hell did this come from, asshole? 1223 01:08:26,617 --> 01:08:29,142 Maybe you and I rubbed up against each other at some point. 1224 01:08:29,353 --> 01:08:32,322 I don't remember. Maybe it was some ricochet scenario. I don't know. 1225 01:08:32,523 --> 01:08:34,548 - How am I supposed to know? - Kick his ass, Mark. 1226 01:08:34,758 --> 01:08:36,521 Shut the fuck up, Scarlett. 1227 01:08:37,394 --> 01:08:40,090 Where do you get off dancing with my fiancée? 1228 01:08:48,539 --> 01:08:49,597 To some girl. 1229 01:09:02,986 --> 01:09:04,317 Talk about the hurting. 1230 01:09:14,565 --> 01:09:15,998 - Shit. - All right. 1231 01:09:38,989 --> 01:09:40,650 - Yo! Fight! - Move it! 1232 01:09:40,858 --> 01:09:42,587 - Go, check this out! - Oh, fuck! 1233 01:09:42,793 --> 01:09:44,761 And what the hell is this? 1234 01:09:45,262 --> 01:09:48,561 - I don't fucking- It's detergent. - Yeah, what are you doing with it? 1235 01:09:50,334 --> 01:09:53,360 I got fucking blood on my pants. 1236 01:09:53,570 --> 01:09:55,094 Get down. 1237 01:09:57,107 --> 01:09:59,541 What the fuck is this all about, man? Are you-? 1238 01:10:00,577 --> 01:10:03,910 - Well, fuck me. - Fellas. 1239 01:10:04,481 --> 01:10:07,450 Oh, shit, I've been tackled by little girls! 1240 01:10:07,651 --> 01:10:08,743 You die! You're next! 1241 01:10:11,488 --> 01:10:16,255 I should fucking kill you, you motherfucker! 1242 01:10:16,460 --> 01:10:20,419 - Hold him, Jimmy's brother! Hold him! - What do you mean? No. No way! 1243 01:10:20,631 --> 01:10:22,360 - You humiliated me! - I'm sorry! 1244 01:10:22,566 --> 01:10:26,127 - You used my leg as a tampon! - I'm calling the cops. 1245 01:10:26,336 --> 01:10:31,035 Evan! Come on! Move! 1246 01:10:31,275 --> 01:10:33,903 Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. 1247 01:10:34,111 --> 01:10:38,275 Yeah. Fifth and Paysview. Hurry. 1248 01:10:38,482 --> 01:10:41,212 Mark, I called the cops. You should hide your gun. 1249 01:10:41,451 --> 01:10:43,043 You're a fucking pussy. 1250 01:10:43,253 --> 01:10:44,481 Don't listen to him, officer. 1251 01:10:44,688 --> 01:10:47,122 If you make this, we're no longer friends, Michaels. 1252 01:10:47,357 --> 01:10:49,757 - You're a fucking pussy. - Cheating. You're cheating. 1253 01:10:50,894 --> 01:10:55,558 - Fuck me. - Oh, suck on my nuts, Slater! 1254 01:10:55,766 --> 01:10:57,597 All right, you- That was a lucky shot. 1255 01:10:57,801 --> 01:11:00,964 - That was a lucky shot. - I rule. 1256 01:11:01,171 --> 01:11:02,399 I got jizzed on. All right. 1257 01:11:02,639 --> 01:11:04,664 - Can I shoot one? - Yeah, go nuts. Go nuts. 1258 01:11:04,875 --> 01:11:06,342 Have a good time, man. 1259 01:11:06,543 --> 01:11:09,444 Empty the clip. Empty the clip on it, man. Shit! 1260 01:11:09,646 --> 01:11:13,605 The cops! Bail! Bail! Bail! Shotgun, shotgun! Damn it! 1261 01:11:15,052 --> 01:11:16,417 Shotgun. 1262 01:11:25,829 --> 01:11:28,389 - What a rush. - What do you guys wanna do? 1263 01:11:28,599 --> 01:11:31,033 - Man, let's get drunk! - Let's get more fucked up! 1264 01:11:31,234 --> 01:11:33,327 You're fucking living the dream, Michaels! 1265 01:11:33,537 --> 01:11:34,504 Oh, man. 1266 01:11:34,705 --> 01:11:36,434 This is gonna be the best night ever. 1267 01:11:36,640 --> 01:11:39,074 - Got a 257 at Fifth and Paysview. - Shit. 1268 01:11:39,276 --> 01:11:41,642 All units in the area report to Fifth and Paysview. 1269 01:11:41,845 --> 01:11:44,143 - Car 98, that's you. Do it. - Fuck. 1270 01:11:44,348 --> 01:11:46,407 - Shit. - Shit. 1271 01:11:46,617 --> 01:11:49,882 Car 98 on it. You dumb fucking whore. 1272 01:11:50,087 --> 01:11:53,079 Hey, did she say we're gonna get to shoot somebody or something? 1273 01:11:53,290 --> 01:11:54,587 Oh, God, I wish. 1274 01:11:54,825 --> 01:11:58,192 It's probably some lame house party. We'll drop you off after. Cool? 1275 01:11:58,428 --> 01:12:00,692 Yeah, man. Let's show these fuckers how we roll! 1276 01:12:15,379 --> 01:12:19,008 - You fucking prick. - What? 1277 01:12:21,952 --> 01:12:25,888 - You bailed on me. - I didn't bail on you. 1278 01:12:26,089 --> 01:12:28,148 Yeah, you did. 1279 01:12:28,358 --> 01:12:31,191 You said you were gonna do something and you didn't do it. 1280 01:12:31,395 --> 01:12:32,521 That's bailing. 1281 01:12:32,729 --> 01:12:35,960 You're the one that dragged me to that fucking party with those lunatics. 1282 01:12:36,166 --> 01:12:41,126 - I didn't bail on you. - You bailed on me, okay? 1283 01:12:41,338 --> 01:12:43,738 You bailed on me this morning when Jesse spat on me... 1284 01:12:43,940 --> 01:12:45,567 ...and you're bailing on me next year. 1285 01:12:45,776 --> 01:12:48,836 What the fuck? It finally comes out. That's good, man. 1286 01:12:49,046 --> 01:12:50,980 We were supposed to go to college together. 1287 01:12:51,214 --> 01:12:53,273 Since we were kids, since elementary school... 1288 01:12:53,483 --> 01:12:55,917 ...that's all we've ever talked about, us going together. 1289 01:12:56,119 --> 01:12:57,746 And you got into fucking Dartmouth. 1290 01:12:57,954 --> 01:12:59,945 You're making me feel like I'm a bad guy. 1291 01:13:00,157 --> 01:13:03,092 What-? I didn't do anything wrong. I got into a good school. 1292 01:13:03,860 --> 01:13:07,023 How the fuck am I supposed to get into Dartmouth? You knew I couldn't. 1293 01:13:07,264 --> 01:13:08,731 How fucking selfish are you? 1294 01:13:08,932 --> 01:13:10,957 You had no problem letting Fogell take the fall. 1295 01:13:11,168 --> 01:13:13,136 You don't want me going to a good school. 1296 01:13:13,336 --> 01:13:15,327 - Fuck, man! - So, what the fuck do you want? 1297 01:13:15,539 --> 01:13:18,064 I'm not gonna let you slow me down anymore, Seth. 1298 01:13:21,244 --> 01:13:22,302 What are you saying? 1299 01:13:23,046 --> 01:13:26,743 I've wasted the last three years sitting around talking bullshit with you. 1300 01:13:26,950 --> 01:13:28,918 Instead of chasing girls and making friends... 1301 01:13:29,119 --> 01:13:32,111 ...I've just sat around wasting all my time with you. 1302 01:13:32,322 --> 01:13:34,916 And now I'm going to college a fucking friendless virgin. 1303 01:13:35,158 --> 01:13:38,616 Is this about Becca? This is about some girl, man? 1304 01:13:38,829 --> 01:13:40,262 - I like her! - Who gives a fuck? 1305 01:13:40,464 --> 01:13:42,625 She's some fucking girl! You gonna go out with her? 1306 01:13:42,833 --> 01:13:45,324 - What about after that? - Fuck you, you're a piece of shit. 1307 01:13:45,836 --> 01:13:48,600 Fuck you! And next time you're pissed off about something... 1308 01:13:48,805 --> 01:13:51,638 ...don't keep it inside for 10 years, say it like a fucking man! 1309 01:13:51,842 --> 01:13:52,809 - Don't touch me. - Fuck you! 1310 01:13:55,345 --> 01:13:58,280 Hey, McLovin, are the numbers on your side odd or even? 1311 01:13:58,482 --> 01:14:02,213 - I don't know. It's too dark to see. - We got flashlights. 1312 01:14:02,419 --> 01:14:04,182 Oh, that's true. 1313 01:14:09,893 --> 01:14:11,758 Where the fuck are we? 1314 01:14:12,629 --> 01:14:14,597 - Hey, Slater. - What's that? 1315 01:14:14,831 --> 01:14:16,560 Slater. 1316 01:14:19,970 --> 01:14:23,599 Now, young Michaels, you will die. 1317 01:14:25,175 --> 01:14:28,508 All right. Come on, stop it. I can't fucking see. I can't see. Fuck it. 1318 01:14:28,712 --> 01:14:30,509 - Like it? - Hey, fuck off, that hurts. 1319 01:14:30,714 --> 01:14:32,443 - You stop first. - Not until you stop. 1320 01:14:32,649 --> 01:14:34,276 - Stop it, asshole. - Hey, you stop. 1321 01:14:35,352 --> 01:14:37,377 - Fuck you, Evan! - Don't fucking touch me. 1322 01:14:49,299 --> 01:14:50,391 Why did you do that? 1323 01:14:50,600 --> 01:14:52,761 - You shined the light in my face. - You did too. 1324 01:14:52,969 --> 01:14:54,994 - I'm driving. - We were playing Lightsabers. 1325 01:14:55,205 --> 01:14:57,230 - Excuse me. - Oh, my God. 1326 01:14:57,440 --> 01:14:59,840 Are you guys gonna make sure he's okay? 1327 01:15:03,079 --> 01:15:04,341 - Check on him. - You check. 1328 01:15:04,548 --> 01:15:08,006 - You go out there and check on him. - Fuck that. You go. 1329 01:15:08,218 --> 01:15:12,552 Balls. Okay, we'll both go out there and check on him. 1330 01:15:14,024 --> 01:15:16,891 I can't believe this is happening again. What are the odds? 1331 01:15:17,427 --> 01:15:19,054 Fuck. 1332 01:15:23,066 --> 01:15:26,763 - Is everyone okay? - Yeah, we're great, thanks. 1333 01:15:26,970 --> 01:15:31,430 Hey, hey, where's the love? 1334 01:15:31,641 --> 01:15:36,101 - He's okay. He's fine. - Stand right next to your friend. 1335 01:15:36,313 --> 01:15:38,144 - Get over there. - I got them. 1336 01:15:38,348 --> 01:15:39,679 You got these guys? 1337 01:15:46,523 --> 01:15:48,388 You boys doing a bit of drinking tonight? 1338 01:15:48,592 --> 01:15:52,722 - No, officer. Not at all. Not- we- - We found those. 1339 01:15:52,929 --> 01:15:54,055 I don't believe you. 1340 01:15:57,734 --> 01:15:59,895 Freeze. Stand right there. 1341 01:16:00,103 --> 01:16:02,162 - We're telling the truth. - Keep it going. 1342 01:16:02,372 --> 01:16:04,704 - Don't be a hero tonight, guys. - Wrong night for that. 1343 01:16:04,908 --> 01:16:06,466 You gotta fucking take care of this. 1344 01:16:06,676 --> 01:16:10,737 No. Look, I am not fixing your mistakes again, okay? Fuck that shit. 1345 01:16:10,947 --> 01:16:13,245 I don't wanna get shitcanned. I like this job. 1346 01:16:13,450 --> 01:16:15,714 Me too. I get free haircuts. I'm not taking the fall. 1347 01:16:15,919 --> 01:16:17,546 Okay, okay! 1348 01:16:18,555 --> 01:16:20,716 We're gonna arrest these two little dipshits, okay? 1349 01:16:20,924 --> 01:16:22,653 And we're gonna pin it on them. 1350 01:16:23,326 --> 01:16:24,793 Yeah, do what you have to do. 1351 01:16:31,268 --> 01:16:32,326 Spread your shit! 1352 01:16:32,535 --> 01:16:35,561 Get on the ground! Loaded gun, ready to go! 1353 01:16:35,772 --> 01:16:38,366 Spread your shit! Pussies on the pavement, fellas. 1354 01:16:38,575 --> 01:16:40,770 - Come on! - Please don't shoot, sir. 1355 01:16:40,977 --> 01:16:43,571 "Please don't shoot. " Shut up and spread your shit! 1356 01:16:45,148 --> 01:16:48,049 I am the law! Okay? 1357 01:16:48,251 --> 01:16:49,377 Now hold hands. 1358 01:16:49,586 --> 01:16:50,985 - What? - Why? 1359 01:16:51,187 --> 01:16:54,782 You don't want an asshole where your face used to be, Whaling Jennings. 1360 01:16:54,991 --> 01:16:57,391 - Hold his fucking hand! - Fucking hold my hand. 1361 01:16:57,594 --> 01:16:59,960 There. That's not so hard, is it? 1362 01:17:00,163 --> 01:17:02,597 Here, McLovin, have a cigarette. 1363 01:17:03,833 --> 01:17:05,596 Smoke up. Life's short, you know. 1364 01:17:06,369 --> 01:17:08,360 Suck it in, my friend. 1365 01:17:08,571 --> 01:17:11,131 Suck it long and deep. 1366 01:17:11,341 --> 01:17:12,831 Enjoy it. 1367 01:17:13,443 --> 01:17:16,003 McLovin, McLovin, McLovin. 1368 01:17:17,480 --> 01:17:22,713 - You like Officer Slater and myself? - Yeah, you guys are awesome. 1369 01:17:22,919 --> 01:17:26,047 Thanks. We really like you too, McLovin. 1370 01:17:26,256 --> 01:17:27,814 So here's what's about to happen. 1371 01:17:28,024 --> 01:17:29,457 We're gonna arrest these guys... 1372 01:17:29,659 --> 01:17:33,220 ...you're gonna write a witness report saying they leapt in front of our car... 1373 01:17:33,430 --> 01:17:35,762 ...and there was nothing we could do. Sound cool? 1374 01:17:37,033 --> 01:17:39,934 - Yeah, that's fine. - Good. 1375 01:17:40,136 --> 01:17:42,434 That's good. Pretend he's your little sister. 1376 01:17:42,639 --> 01:17:44,630 Your little sister with the... 1377 01:17:55,518 --> 01:17:56,542 What the fuck? 1378 01:18:08,932 --> 01:18:10,456 Fagell? 1379 01:18:19,776 --> 01:18:21,767 - Shit! - Shit! 1380 01:18:25,782 --> 01:18:27,147 Run! Run! 1381 01:18:27,350 --> 01:18:28,578 Wait. 1382 01:18:28,785 --> 01:18:32,186 Hold on, I gotta get all the booze. Seth, wait up! 1383 01:18:32,389 --> 01:18:34,050 McLovin bailed! 1384 01:18:34,257 --> 01:18:36,316 Chase the kid! 1385 01:18:43,933 --> 01:18:45,025 Stop! 1386 01:19:05,955 --> 01:19:08,082 That was a fast kid. 1387 01:19:10,760 --> 01:19:15,197 I want a ride! You hear me? You can't unarrest me! 1388 01:19:17,700 --> 01:19:19,190 Stop! 1389 01:19:21,337 --> 01:19:25,239 - McLovin! - Come on. 1390 01:19:27,210 --> 01:19:28,370 McLovin! 1391 01:19:29,112 --> 01:19:31,876 McLovin! Why? 1392 01:19:33,817 --> 01:19:34,875 McLovin, come back! 1393 01:19:36,786 --> 01:19:41,780 My hand! Monster! Nicole! Nicole, get Daddy. 1394 01:19:41,991 --> 01:19:44,482 - Get Daddy. - Get Daddy! 1395 01:19:44,694 --> 01:19:47,288 - Oh, shit. - Get away from my kids! 1396 01:19:50,600 --> 01:19:52,761 You sick sons of bitches! 1397 01:19:55,772 --> 01:19:57,262 What the fuck? 1398 01:20:03,046 --> 01:20:05,480 Michaels, are you okay? 1399 01:20:05,715 --> 01:20:07,478 - It's just beer. - Give me a break. 1400 01:20:07,684 --> 01:20:09,276 - It's just beer. - Man up. 1401 01:20:09,486 --> 01:20:11,078 What happened? What, did you lose him? 1402 01:20:11,287 --> 01:20:14,051 He's a freak. He's the fastest kid alive. 1403 01:20:14,257 --> 01:20:16,782 - This is not good. - He's the fastest kid alive. 1404 01:20:17,026 --> 01:20:20,052 Fastest kid alive, my ass. Come on. What are we gonna do? 1405 01:20:20,363 --> 01:20:22,263 I'll shoot my gun in the air. 1406 01:20:22,499 --> 01:20:24,433 Give me a fucking warning before you do it. 1407 01:20:24,634 --> 01:20:26,602 I'll scare him out of wherever he's hiding. 1408 01:20:26,803 --> 01:20:29,465 This isn't gonna do shit. Get in the car. Get in the car. 1409 01:20:29,672 --> 01:20:31,503 This is your fault, you piece of- 1410 01:20:32,041 --> 01:20:34,441 Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. They shot Seth. 1411 01:20:34,644 --> 01:20:36,771 They fucking shot Seth, I know it. 1412 01:20:37,514 --> 01:20:38,742 Holy shit. 1413 01:20:38,948 --> 01:20:39,937 Holy shit. Holy shit. 1414 01:20:41,551 --> 01:20:42,643 - Should I run? - Yes. 1415 01:20:47,390 --> 01:20:49,483 - Fuck. Stop! - Stop the bus! 1416 01:20:49,692 --> 01:20:51,125 - Stop it! - It's stopping. 1417 01:20:51,327 --> 01:20:53,488 - It's stopping. - Oh, thank God. 1418 01:20:56,266 --> 01:20:58,496 Hey, Evan, pay for me, please. 1419 01:21:00,870 --> 01:21:01,837 That's me and him. 1420 01:21:02,939 --> 01:21:06,466 Hey, hey. It's you. 1421 01:21:06,676 --> 01:21:07,904 McMuffin. 1422 01:21:08,311 --> 01:21:09,676 - You know this guy? - It's- 1423 01:21:09,879 --> 01:21:13,906 Ain't got no cop people to help you keep your booze now, do you? 1424 01:21:14,117 --> 01:21:17,450 Hey! Back the fuck up, man, or I'll beat the shit out of you. 1425 01:21:17,654 --> 01:21:19,713 - Give me the booze. - Hey! Back the fuck up. 1426 01:21:19,923 --> 01:21:23,120 Back the fuck up. Back the fuck up. 1427 01:21:23,326 --> 01:21:24,987 Please, please, calm down, sir. 1428 01:21:34,170 --> 01:21:39,506 Goldslick. 1429 01:21:50,954 --> 01:21:53,047 Get off the bus or I'm calling the cops. 1430 01:21:59,762 --> 01:22:01,821 Eat shit, bum. 1431 01:22:02,198 --> 01:22:04,291 Oh, shit, guys. We're three blocks away, man. 1432 01:22:04,500 --> 01:22:06,900 We made it. We made it with the booze and everything. 1433 01:22:07,103 --> 01:22:08,434 We made it. 1434 01:22:08,638 --> 01:22:10,071 Hold this. 1435 01:22:10,807 --> 01:22:13,332 I can't believe you still have the liquor. 1436 01:22:14,377 --> 01:22:15,435 It's awesome. 1437 01:22:15,645 --> 01:22:18,705 Yeah, I told you the idea would work. I fooled those cops. 1438 01:22:18,948 --> 01:22:21,917 I'm McLovin. I am McLovin. 1439 01:22:23,786 --> 01:22:25,185 Why do you guys have detergent? 1440 01:22:25,388 --> 01:22:28,357 I don't understand why you were smoking cigarettes with those cops. 1441 01:22:28,558 --> 01:22:30,185 Because I fucking rule. 1442 01:22:30,393 --> 01:22:33,692 - we are so gonna get laid tonight. - I am. I'm gonna get laid. 1443 01:22:33,896 --> 01:22:36,296 we're finally gonna get our drinks on. 1444 01:22:38,468 --> 01:22:40,163 I can't believe Becca's bottle broke. 1445 01:22:40,370 --> 01:22:41,735 - I'm sure it'll be fine. - Yeah. 1446 01:22:41,938 --> 01:22:44,839 I thought you didn't need it. You were gonna tell her how you feel. 1447 01:22:45,041 --> 01:22:47,566 Good luck getting Jules drunk enough to have sex with you. 1448 01:22:47,777 --> 01:22:49,711 - what's wrong with you guys? - Nothing. 1449 01:22:49,912 --> 01:22:53,075 You two femmes can talk about it next year at your little slumber party. 1450 01:22:53,283 --> 01:22:54,978 Oh, you told him. 1451 01:22:55,184 --> 01:22:57,812 - Told me what? - Yeah. You're an idiot, Fogell. 1452 01:22:58,021 --> 01:22:59,818 - well, we gotta tell him now. - No, we- 1453 01:23:00,023 --> 01:23:01,490 well, he knows something's up. 1454 01:23:01,724 --> 01:23:03,988 what are you guys talking about? Tell me now. 1455 01:23:04,227 --> 01:23:06,388 Seth, me and Evan are rooming together next year. 1456 01:23:06,596 --> 01:23:07,585 what's the big deal? 1457 01:23:07,797 --> 01:23:09,731 "Oh, my God, Fogell's rooming with Evan. " 1458 01:23:09,932 --> 01:23:11,627 Jeez, why don't you go cry about it? 1459 01:23:11,834 --> 01:23:14,268 - I didn't tell you because- - You're a backstabber... 1460 01:23:14,470 --> 01:23:17,701 ...and you lied to your best friend and you just don't care anymore? 1461 01:23:17,907 --> 01:23:20,102 I didn't expect this from you, Evan. 1462 01:23:20,576 --> 01:23:21,736 Not from you. 1463 01:23:21,944 --> 01:23:24,139 Give me that booze, Fagell. 1464 01:23:27,717 --> 01:23:30,686 we never should have had to hide our arrangement. 1465 01:23:40,863 --> 01:23:43,195 - Seth's here. - Seth, you're here. 1466 01:23:43,399 --> 01:23:47,130 Hi. Everybody, Seth has got it. 1467 01:24:10,393 --> 01:24:12,520 - Evan. - Gaby, hey. 1468 01:24:12,729 --> 01:24:14,594 where have you been? You almost blew it. 1469 01:24:14,797 --> 01:24:17,322 - what are you talking about? - Becca. She's been waiting. 1470 01:24:17,533 --> 01:24:18,830 She's over there. 1471 01:24:19,702 --> 01:24:20,999 She's way smashed. 1472 01:24:21,204 --> 01:24:23,502 And she's been yammering about you all night. 1473 01:24:23,706 --> 01:24:25,503 Really? what was she saying? 1474 01:24:25,708 --> 01:24:27,801 She told you that she thinks I'm a good guy? 1475 01:24:28,010 --> 01:24:30,570 No, no. She said something more like: 1476 01:24:30,780 --> 01:24:33,305 "I will fully blow him tonight. " 1477 01:24:33,549 --> 01:24:35,881 - what? - I know. 1478 01:24:39,322 --> 01:24:41,552 - Yeah. - But she's totally hammered... 1479 01:24:41,758 --> 01:24:44,659 ...and if I get with her and I'm not drunk, isn't that unethical? 1480 01:24:45,495 --> 01:24:46,894 Not if you're drunk too. 1481 01:24:48,231 --> 01:24:49,596 I guess not. 1482 01:24:49,799 --> 01:24:51,130 To Seth. 1483 01:24:51,334 --> 01:24:53,529 - To Seth! - All right. 1484 01:24:53,736 --> 01:24:55,601 who the fuck is Seth? 1485 01:24:55,805 --> 01:24:57,500 I'm Seth! 1486 01:24:59,208 --> 01:25:01,438 Let's do another one to me. 1487 01:25:12,488 --> 01:25:14,080 Oh, boy. 1488 01:25:14,824 --> 01:25:16,883 Calm down. Calm down, man. 1489 01:25:17,093 --> 01:25:19,152 Calm down. She likes you. 1490 01:25:19,529 --> 01:25:21,759 She wants to suck on your penis. 1491 01:25:21,998 --> 01:25:23,625 It's a good thing. 1492 01:25:23,833 --> 01:25:27,496 It's the best thing. 1493 01:25:28,304 --> 01:25:29,965 Just down the hatch. 1494 01:25:57,800 --> 01:25:59,700 Fogell. what's up? 1495 01:26:46,682 --> 01:26:48,980 Evan, hey. Evie, come here. 1496 01:26:49,185 --> 01:26:50,584 Can you please help me up? 1497 01:26:50,786 --> 01:26:54,347 I fell down and none of these assholes will help me up. 1498 01:26:54,557 --> 01:26:57,117 - Shit. - Becca. 1499 01:26:57,326 --> 01:26:59,419 I have been waiting for you for, like, ever. 1500 01:26:59,629 --> 01:27:01,597 - what took you so long? - I know, it- 1501 01:27:01,797 --> 01:27:04,231 - Do you have my Goldslick? - No, I can't even- 1502 01:27:04,433 --> 01:27:06,094 It's such a crazy story, okay? 1503 01:27:06,302 --> 01:27:09,601 - I swear I was try- - It doesn't even matter. 1504 01:27:09,805 --> 01:27:12,296 Look. Look what we- we can just drink this. 1505 01:27:12,508 --> 01:27:14,772 - Here. You could have a drink. - Oh, no. 1506 01:27:14,977 --> 01:27:16,968 - I'm already pretty wasted. - Take a drink. 1507 01:27:17,179 --> 01:27:19,545 Okay, here's to you. This is to Becca. 1508 01:27:19,749 --> 01:27:20,841 To Becca. 1509 01:27:21,050 --> 01:27:23,382 - To the respecting- - Guys. 1510 01:27:23,586 --> 01:27:26,646 - women. To people respecting women. 1511 01:27:26,856 --> 01:27:29,848 Okay. Yeah. 1512 01:27:32,295 --> 01:27:33,523 You're a lightweight. 1513 01:27:34,897 --> 01:27:36,262 Hey. 1514 01:27:37,300 --> 01:27:40,565 You and me, we should go upstairs, because- 1515 01:27:40,770 --> 01:27:44,900 Because I need to tell you something. Okay? 1516 01:27:45,474 --> 01:27:47,635 You could just tell me here, I mean... 1517 01:27:47,843 --> 01:27:52,576 I can't tell you, because it's a secret for you from me. 1518 01:27:52,782 --> 01:27:54,841 - All right. - So come. Come on. Okay. 1519 01:27:55,051 --> 01:27:56,211 - Bye, guys. - Bye. 1520 01:27:56,419 --> 01:27:58,614 - Bye-bye. - Bye. 1521 01:28:04,060 --> 01:28:07,325 You changed your name to McLovin? 1522 01:28:09,198 --> 01:28:11,826 - That's so cool. - Thanks. 1523 01:28:12,034 --> 01:28:15,902 So, like, what's Hawaii like? 1524 01:28:16,572 --> 01:28:17,937 All right. I am back. 1525 01:28:18,140 --> 01:28:20,404 I had to thank the peeps for coming out, you know. 1526 01:28:20,610 --> 01:28:23,101 Jules. I want you to have a drink with me. 1527 01:28:23,312 --> 01:28:25,678 Just drink some of this. You're gonna love it. 1528 01:28:25,881 --> 01:28:27,678 You're to- I know you're gonna love it. 1529 01:28:27,883 --> 01:28:31,444 - You know, I- - It's green beer. For your information. 1530 01:28:31,654 --> 01:28:34,282 You know, I'm actually good right now. But thank you. 1531 01:28:34,757 --> 01:28:37,988 And thank you very much for bringing everything, again. 1532 01:28:38,194 --> 01:28:39,821 Seriously, it really made the night. 1533 01:28:40,029 --> 01:28:42,793 No, that's how I roll. That's the thing. 1534 01:28:42,999 --> 01:28:45,832 It's no problems. You'll learn that. 1535 01:28:51,641 --> 01:28:56,271 I love talking and conversing with you. 1536 01:28:56,479 --> 01:28:59,471 But I can't hear you, though, because the music is so loud. 1537 01:28:59,682 --> 01:29:02,845 So do you wanna go outside and talk more? 1538 01:29:05,721 --> 01:29:08,349 Yeah. Sorry, sure. You know, why not? 1539 01:29:08,557 --> 01:29:10,525 Let's do it. I haven't conversed in ages. 1540 01:29:10,726 --> 01:29:14,184 - Okay. Ladies- Ladies first. - Okay. 1541 01:29:15,264 --> 01:29:17,232 - Thank you very much. - No problem. 1542 01:29:17,433 --> 01:29:19,833 - watch your step. I fell earlier today. - You serious? 1543 01:29:20,036 --> 01:29:22,129 well, I was hit by a car. It's a long story. 1544 01:29:22,705 --> 01:29:26,436 - Oh, shit. Careful. - Okay, well... 1545 01:29:27,543 --> 01:29:30,740 So loud. Don't let the parents hear. 1546 01:29:31,380 --> 01:29:33,245 You look so pretty. 1547 01:29:36,552 --> 01:29:40,750 - Are you okay? - I so flirt with you in math. 1548 01:29:40,956 --> 01:29:43,083 Tell me about it. L- Samesies. 1549 01:29:43,292 --> 01:29:48,821 I've wanted to tell you for so long that you're the best girl. 1550 01:29:49,031 --> 01:29:53,934 I know. I've wanted to get with you, like, so hard. 1551 01:29:55,538 --> 01:29:57,870 Like so hard. 1552 01:30:03,813 --> 01:30:05,713 You're the best. 1553 01:30:05,915 --> 01:30:09,442 we'll take this sweater off. I think so. 1554 01:30:09,652 --> 01:30:12,883 Just be careful, because it's a meaningful sweater to me. It's vintage. 1555 01:30:13,089 --> 01:30:14,147 Okay. 1556 01:30:14,890 --> 01:30:17,757 - Bought it at that vintage market. - Just hurry. 1557 01:30:18,260 --> 01:30:20,785 - And this one. - It's off. 1558 01:30:20,996 --> 01:30:23,089 Hey, wait, careful. 1559 01:30:24,266 --> 01:30:25,790 - Oh, shit. - Oh, my. 1560 01:30:26,001 --> 01:30:27,195 Put that there. 1561 01:30:27,403 --> 01:30:29,098 - Now, looky, looky... - Okay. 1562 01:30:29,305 --> 01:30:31,865 ...what I got for you under here. - Oh, my gosh. 1563 01:30:32,074 --> 01:30:33,871 You are the prettiest girl... 1564 01:30:34,076 --> 01:30:36,977 ...this side of the Mississippi. - I have a little something... 1565 01:30:37,179 --> 01:30:40,046 ...for you under here. 1566 01:30:40,249 --> 01:30:41,273 You look so pretty. 1567 01:30:41,751 --> 01:30:44,049 - Look so pretty. - Under there. 1568 01:30:44,253 --> 01:30:46,084 Hello. 1569 01:30:47,356 --> 01:30:49,381 For you. 1570 01:30:53,996 --> 01:30:58,433 You're the best. You're so unique. 1571 01:30:58,634 --> 01:31:00,101 Come here. 1572 01:31:00,302 --> 01:31:02,634 Evan, kiss me. 1573 01:31:02,972 --> 01:31:04,769 I like you so much. 1574 01:31:05,841 --> 01:31:07,706 Come on, McLovin. 1575 01:31:07,910 --> 01:31:09,741 I've never been with an older guy before. 1576 01:31:09,945 --> 01:31:13,278 well, it's way better. 1577 01:31:13,482 --> 01:31:15,677 I know, we made some kick-ass tiramisu earlier. 1578 01:31:15,885 --> 01:31:19,412 It was deli- It looked weird. But it was delicious. 1579 01:31:23,926 --> 01:31:27,123 what-? what's wrong? 1580 01:31:27,763 --> 01:31:31,358 L- I would prefer if we would just do that... 1581 01:31:31,567 --> 01:31:35,094 ...at some other time. 1582 01:31:35,304 --> 01:31:38,364 No. There is no other time. School is up. 1583 01:31:38,574 --> 01:31:42,840 - what's wrong with right now? - well, I mean, you're- You're drunk. 1584 01:31:43,546 --> 01:31:47,448 - You're, like, really, really drunk. - So? You're drunk. You're drunk, Jules. 1585 01:31:47,650 --> 01:31:50,619 Yeah, I'm actually- I'm not drunk at all. 1586 01:31:50,820 --> 01:31:53,380 I don't even drink, so it's... I mean... 1587 01:31:54,623 --> 01:31:57,683 Jules, you drink. You drink. 1588 01:31:57,893 --> 01:32:00,726 Everybody- You- You had me get liquor, so you drink. 1589 01:32:00,930 --> 01:32:01,954 It's like... 1590 01:32:02,164 --> 01:32:05,497 well, yeah, because I'm throwing a party, remember? 1591 01:32:05,701 --> 01:32:07,293 Other people drink and so I just... 1592 01:32:07,503 --> 01:32:08,993 You...? 1593 01:32:10,372 --> 01:32:13,705 You don't wanna, you know? 1594 01:32:15,511 --> 01:32:18,446 Not right now. 1595 01:32:18,647 --> 01:32:21,707 You know, not while you're drunk. 1596 01:32:22,351 --> 01:32:24,342 But, you know, thank you. 1597 01:32:29,692 --> 01:32:34,220 - Evan. Evan, I'm so wet. - Oh, yeah. 1598 01:32:34,430 --> 01:32:37,729 They said that would happen in health, when I learned about it. 1599 01:32:37,933 --> 01:32:39,730 - Yeah. - Yeah. 1600 01:32:39,935 --> 01:32:43,098 - They taught me about- - who's down there? 1601 01:32:43,305 --> 01:32:44,533 Yeah, it's your hand. 1602 01:32:49,445 --> 01:32:52,812 - Thank you, that's good. - You have such a smooth cock. 1603 01:32:53,015 --> 01:32:55,040 Thank you. You would too if you were a man. 1604 01:32:55,251 --> 01:32:57,742 But you got such a smooth chest. 1605 01:32:57,953 --> 01:33:00,615 I am gonna give you... 1606 01:33:00,823 --> 01:33:05,260 ...the best blow-J ever... 1607 01:33:05,461 --> 01:33:07,861 ...with my mouth. 1608 01:33:08,063 --> 01:33:10,258 why don't we-? why don't we just kiss a while? 1609 01:33:10,466 --> 01:33:14,061 why don't we keep kissing for a bit, instead of...? 1610 01:33:15,971 --> 01:33:17,529 How badly do you wanna fuck me? 1611 01:33:18,007 --> 01:33:19,634 Jesus Christ. 1612 01:33:20,442 --> 01:33:21,409 Jesus, fuck. 1613 01:33:21,610 --> 01:33:22,872 - Hang on one second. - what? 1614 01:33:23,078 --> 01:33:24,807 Becca, I don't think you wanna do this. 1615 01:33:25,014 --> 01:33:28,916 - You're really drunk. - No, I'm not. I am not drunk. 1616 01:33:29,118 --> 01:33:33,282 - I see that you are. I think you are. - And I really- I want you inside me. 1617 01:33:33,489 --> 01:33:35,719 I want you to be my first. I want you inside me. 1618 01:33:35,925 --> 01:33:38,120 So just- Just go with it. 1619 01:33:38,327 --> 01:33:40,261 - Let it happen. - I know, but... 1620 01:33:40,763 --> 01:33:42,754 Becca, this is kind of intense. 1621 01:33:42,965 --> 01:33:47,299 And I just- I'm so drunk. I can't even, like, process this. 1622 01:33:47,503 --> 01:33:49,835 And you're really pretty. 1623 01:33:50,039 --> 01:33:52,098 And I just think this isn't how I pictured it. 1624 01:33:52,308 --> 01:33:56,745 I don't understand why you have to be such a little bitch about it. 1625 01:33:57,947 --> 01:34:01,075 - Did you just call me a bitch? - Yes, a scared- 1626 01:34:01,283 --> 01:34:03,877 See, I, like, I think we're not thinking clear- 1627 01:34:04,086 --> 01:34:05,348 Holy shit. Oh, my God. 1628 01:34:05,554 --> 01:34:07,920 - Go get Gaby. - I'll go get her. 1629 01:34:08,123 --> 01:34:12,856 Oh, God. Oh, God. Go get Gaby, please. 1630 01:34:27,076 --> 01:34:30,705 - I got a boner. - Good. 1631 01:34:32,014 --> 01:34:34,608 - Do you have a condom? - Yes. 1632 01:34:36,552 --> 01:34:38,520 And lube. 1633 01:34:38,721 --> 01:34:40,211 Seth? 1634 01:34:44,193 --> 01:34:46,627 Are-? Are you crying? 1635 01:34:47,029 --> 01:34:49,896 No, I just have something in both my eyes. 1636 01:34:50,099 --> 01:34:51,259 I don't cry. That's funny. 1637 01:34:51,467 --> 01:34:53,697 You look- You look- It looks like you're crying. 1638 01:34:53,902 --> 01:34:55,233 So... 1639 01:34:57,473 --> 01:34:59,805 It was my last chance and I fucked it up and- 1640 01:35:00,009 --> 01:35:01,567 Your last chance to do what? 1641 01:35:01,777 --> 01:35:04,803 To make you my girlfriend for the summer. 1642 01:35:05,414 --> 01:35:08,247 You're, like, the coolest person that's ever talked to me. 1643 01:35:08,450 --> 01:35:10,042 I thought we'd both be drunk. 1644 01:35:10,252 --> 01:35:12,982 what does me being drunk have anything to do with it? 1645 01:35:13,188 --> 01:35:15,486 You'd never get with me if you were sober. 1646 01:35:15,691 --> 01:35:17,158 Look at you. 1647 01:35:18,227 --> 01:35:22,425 - Look at me. - Seth, come on, you didn't blow it. 1648 01:35:23,032 --> 01:35:24,624 I think maybe- 1649 01:35:25,267 --> 01:35:27,030 what the fuck?! 1650 01:35:27,236 --> 01:35:28,897 Help me. 1651 01:35:31,106 --> 01:35:32,073 Shirley. 1652 01:35:32,274 --> 01:35:34,333 I'm sorry. 1653 01:35:34,743 --> 01:35:37,234 - Someone forgot to call pest control. - Yep. 1654 01:35:37,446 --> 01:35:39,277 where you going? Hey, party's still on. 1655 01:35:39,481 --> 01:35:40,709 - where are you going? - No. 1656 01:35:40,916 --> 01:35:44,113 If you're back there, get out. Everyone, come on. 1657 01:35:44,319 --> 01:35:46,082 - we will shoot you. - Party's over. 1658 01:35:46,288 --> 01:35:47,778 - Evan. - Get the hell out of here. 1659 01:35:47,990 --> 01:35:49,651 Keep your hands up. 1660 01:35:55,431 --> 01:35:58,127 Life's bullshit, Miroki. 1661 01:36:07,509 --> 01:36:09,477 Ev, wake the fuck up, man. 1662 01:36:09,678 --> 01:36:11,976 we gotta go. Those fucking cops are here, man. 1663 01:36:15,284 --> 01:36:17,582 "Oh, no, it's the cops. " we have a complaint. 1664 01:36:17,786 --> 01:36:20,311 - Evan, come on. - Get the hell out of here right now. 1665 01:36:20,522 --> 01:36:22,149 Get out of here. She's not interested. 1666 01:36:22,357 --> 01:36:25,053 - Drop the crantini and move it, sister. - See you, sugar tits. 1667 01:36:25,260 --> 01:36:26,227 Guys, come on, move. 1668 01:36:26,428 --> 01:36:29,556 Everybody out. Leave the booze and go. 1669 01:36:30,732 --> 01:36:31,926 what the fuck, man? 1670 01:36:32,734 --> 01:36:33,996 what the fuck, Seth? 1671 01:36:34,203 --> 01:36:36,433 He's my best friend. Oh, shit. 1672 01:36:37,039 --> 01:36:39,439 Oh, shit. Come on. 1673 01:36:39,641 --> 01:36:42,269 I assume you all have guns and crack. 1674 01:36:45,013 --> 01:36:48,744 Oh, my God, come on. Don't stop. 1675 01:36:51,320 --> 01:36:52,685 Okay, everyone... 1676 01:36:52,888 --> 01:36:55,721 ...prepare to be fucked by the long dick of the law. 1677 01:36:55,924 --> 01:36:57,687 Get out. 1678 01:36:59,495 --> 01:37:00,484 Come on, go. 1679 01:37:04,733 --> 01:37:06,291 Fuck off, Seth. 1680 01:37:08,871 --> 01:37:10,065 Get a room. 1681 01:37:10,272 --> 01:37:12,672 I'm gonna save you. I'm gonna save you, Evan. 1682 01:37:14,309 --> 01:37:15,970 Fuck. 1683 01:37:17,646 --> 01:37:20,843 Fuck. Fuck, man, so heavy. 1684 01:37:36,165 --> 01:37:38,565 It's in. Oh, my God, it's in. 1685 01:37:38,767 --> 01:37:41,133 All right, everybody out. Come on, let's go. 1686 01:37:41,336 --> 01:37:43,702 McLovin! what the fuck? 1687 01:37:43,906 --> 01:37:46,272 - Officer Slater, is that you? - You ran away from us. 1688 01:37:46,475 --> 01:37:48,443 why did you run away? Michaels, get up here. 1689 01:37:48,644 --> 01:37:50,578 - No. I didn't run away. - what the fuck? 1690 01:37:50,779 --> 01:37:51,768 why would you do that? 1691 01:37:51,980 --> 01:37:54,471 - I was disoriented from- - were you violating that girl? 1692 01:37:54,683 --> 01:37:57,083 You just violated her with your penis? Michaels, look. 1693 01:37:57,286 --> 01:37:58,651 - McLovin? - No, no, no. 1694 01:37:59,221 --> 01:38:00,711 No. 1695 01:38:01,356 --> 01:38:03,153 Holy shit. were you just getting laid? 1696 01:38:03,358 --> 01:38:06,020 No. Yeah, I was, but- 1697 01:38:06,228 --> 01:38:08,492 - Yes, yes, he was. - It's not what you think, guys. 1698 01:38:08,697 --> 01:38:10,892 - I'm not even- - Sit the fuck down. Stay down. 1699 01:38:11,099 --> 01:38:12,930 - Calm down. - I thought we were friends... 1700 01:38:13,135 --> 01:38:14,602 ...and then you go running away. 1701 01:38:14,803 --> 01:38:16,430 Contain yourself. 1702 01:38:16,638 --> 01:38:18,128 - we're friends. - Shut up. 1703 01:38:18,340 --> 01:38:20,604 - Calm down. Calm down, man. - why? what? 1704 01:38:20,809 --> 01:38:22,401 You just cock-blocked McLovin. Okay? 1705 01:38:22,611 --> 01:38:24,101 He's our friend. we don't do that. 1706 01:38:24,313 --> 01:38:27,646 we should be guiding his cock, not blocking it. 1707 01:38:27,849 --> 01:38:31,580 Just relax, okay? Let's make this right. 1708 01:38:39,261 --> 01:38:41,525 wait, what are you-? what are you guys doing? 1709 01:38:41,730 --> 01:38:44,927 No, please, I can't- I can't go to jail. Please, I can't go to jail. 1710 01:38:45,133 --> 01:38:48,933 No, look. we're really sorry, McLovin. 1711 01:38:49,137 --> 01:38:52,470 This has- This has gone on- This has gone way too far. 1712 01:38:52,674 --> 01:38:55,734 what? what are you talking about? 1713 01:38:55,944 --> 01:38:59,880 we know you're not 25, man. we're not idiots, McLovin. 1714 01:39:00,082 --> 01:39:02,573 - Yeah. - Did you know the whole time? 1715 01:39:02,784 --> 01:39:07,949 Look, when we were your age, we hated cops. 1716 01:39:08,156 --> 01:39:11,319 when we saw you in the liquor store today, we just... 1717 01:39:11,526 --> 01:39:13,585 I guess we saw a bit of ourselves, you know... 1718 01:39:13,795 --> 01:39:16,889 ...and we just wanted to show you that... 1719 01:39:17,099 --> 01:39:19,465 ...you know, cops can have a fun time too, you know? 1720 01:39:19,668 --> 01:39:21,260 Yeah. 1721 01:39:22,037 --> 01:39:26,565 You know, in a way, I think we wanted to show ourselves. 1722 01:39:28,310 --> 01:39:30,642 Also, I'm... 1723 01:39:30,846 --> 01:39:33,974 I'm really sorry that I blocked your cock. 1724 01:39:34,650 --> 01:39:37,778 - Apology accepted. - Seriously, man. 1725 01:39:38,820 --> 01:39:40,378 That feels good. 1726 01:39:40,589 --> 01:39:42,454 - It feels so good. - I missed you guys. 1727 01:39:42,658 --> 01:39:45,024 I just wish we could make it up to you somehow, man. 1728 01:39:45,227 --> 01:39:47,855 well, do you think you can do me a really big favor? 1729 01:39:48,063 --> 01:39:50,122 - what is it? Anything. - Name it. 1730 01:39:50,332 --> 01:39:53,358 - This kid's fucking crazy. - Stay back for your own safety. 1731 01:39:53,568 --> 01:39:55,866 Get off me, you fucking cops. Get your hands off. 1732 01:39:56,071 --> 01:39:58,596 Do you know who I am? I'm Fogell. 1733 01:39:59,474 --> 01:40:02,875 - The joint can't hold me. - Holy shit, Fogell's a badass. 1734 01:40:03,078 --> 01:40:06,047 I'm gonna break your glasses, you fucking cop. You can't hold me. 1735 01:40:06,248 --> 01:40:07,340 Fucking pigs. 1736 01:40:12,321 --> 01:40:13,515 Oh, shit. 1737 01:40:16,124 --> 01:40:17,716 Nice mullet, asshole. 1738 01:40:18,360 --> 01:40:20,225 - You crazy. - This kid's crazy. 1739 01:40:20,429 --> 01:40:23,489 He's nuts. well, we caught the infamous Fogell. 1740 01:40:23,699 --> 01:40:25,326 Get your hands- wait for me, Nicola. 1741 01:40:25,534 --> 01:40:26,967 wait for me on the outside. 1742 01:40:27,903 --> 01:40:30,030 we were gonna go to Hawaii. 1743 01:40:31,139 --> 01:40:32,834 Man, that's gonna get you so much ass. 1744 01:40:33,041 --> 01:40:34,008 Seriously? 1745 01:40:34,209 --> 01:40:37,406 - I know what to do about the car. - Sweet. 1746 01:40:38,013 --> 01:40:41,642 Fucking go. Fucking throw up. 1747 01:40:45,520 --> 01:40:46,885 Are you carrying me? 1748 01:40:47,089 --> 01:40:49,216 No, I'm saving you from the cops. 1749 01:40:49,591 --> 01:40:50,580 You saved me? 1750 01:40:52,427 --> 01:40:55,362 well, I don't know what you're talking about, but thanks. 1751 01:40:55,564 --> 01:40:57,691 Can I- Should I just walk? 1752 01:40:57,899 --> 01:41:01,426 - Should I walk? - Yeah, sure. 1753 01:41:02,204 --> 01:41:06,197 - Okay. - where do you wanna go? 1754 01:41:07,042 --> 01:41:10,170 Sleepover at my house? You wanna come sleep...? 1755 01:41:11,880 --> 01:41:14,849 - Okay. - Okay. 1756 01:41:17,919 --> 01:41:19,614 Does your mom still have pizza bagels? 1757 01:41:19,821 --> 01:41:21,448 Yeah. Lots. 1758 01:41:21,656 --> 01:41:23,590 Pizza bagels. 1759 01:41:31,833 --> 01:41:34,427 So by signing this, you are officially saying... 1760 01:41:34,636 --> 01:41:37,070 ...that as we stopped you from being mugged... 1761 01:41:37,272 --> 01:41:40,173 ...a crackhead stole our cruiser and did God knows what with it. 1762 01:41:40,375 --> 01:41:42,969 - You cool to sign that? - Of course. I owe you guys my life. 1763 01:41:43,178 --> 01:41:45,772 we owe you, Mc- wait, what's your real name again? 1764 01:41:45,981 --> 01:41:47,005 - Fogell. - Fuck that. 1765 01:41:47,215 --> 01:41:49,775 - we're calling you McLovin. - McLovin. 1766 01:41:49,985 --> 01:41:52,385 Let's do this dance, boys. 1767 01:42:15,977 --> 01:42:18,639 - Oh, my God. - what did I tell you guys, right? 1768 01:42:18,847 --> 01:42:19,814 That was crazy. 1769 01:42:25,821 --> 01:42:27,015 All right. 1770 01:42:27,222 --> 01:42:29,156 All right, now, guys, check this out. 1771 01:42:29,357 --> 01:42:32,554 It's probably the greatest move in doughnut-spinning history. 1772 01:42:32,761 --> 01:42:33,750 You paying attention? 1773 01:42:33,962 --> 01:42:37,227 Behold, the upward-spiraling pigtail. 1774 01:42:37,432 --> 01:42:40,697 - why is it called that? - I don't know. 1775 01:42:44,873 --> 01:42:46,966 Make the badge proud, Slater. 1776 01:42:48,977 --> 01:42:51,138 He's not usually this drunk when he does this... 1777 01:42:51,346 --> 01:42:54,474 ...but I think that could make it more cool. 1778 01:42:59,588 --> 01:43:01,317 McLovin! 1779 01:43:11,833 --> 01:43:12,891 Oh, no. 1780 01:43:13,702 --> 01:43:15,033 Fuck. 1781 01:43:21,443 --> 01:43:24,810 - Slater! - Officer Slater. 1782 01:43:26,615 --> 01:43:29,550 All right. Fucking crazy. 1783 01:43:30,352 --> 01:43:31,319 Let's do this. 1784 01:43:32,187 --> 01:43:36,351 - Hurry, hurry. Let's go. Go, go. - I'm going, I'm going, I'm going. 1785 01:43:36,558 --> 01:43:38,719 - I'm out, I'm out. - Good, here we go, here we go. 1786 01:43:38,927 --> 01:43:41,020 Yeah? Yeah, okay. Back up. 1787 01:43:41,229 --> 01:43:43,823 Don't blow yourself up, asshole. 1788 01:43:49,004 --> 01:43:52,496 Yes. Oh, my God. 1789 01:43:52,707 --> 01:43:55,107 It worked. It worked. 1790 01:43:55,310 --> 01:43:59,246 we won. we won. 1791 01:44:07,856 --> 01:44:09,756 Can we shoot at it? 1792 01:44:10,926 --> 01:44:14,054 I don't know. Can you? 1793 01:44:32,881 --> 01:44:34,576 Break yourself, fool. 1794 01:44:40,956 --> 01:44:42,446 Tight. 1795 01:44:42,657 --> 01:44:45,251 Listen, and then she said she was gonna give me a blow-J. 1796 01:44:45,460 --> 01:44:49,191 - I can't believe she said that to you. - Man, you have no idea. 1797 01:44:49,397 --> 01:44:52,264 - what was she thinking? - You don't even know. 1798 01:45:00,075 --> 01:45:04,068 I gotta tell you. I gotta tell you something, Evan. 1799 01:45:04,279 --> 01:45:05,610 what? 1800 01:45:05,814 --> 01:45:07,679 I was in your room, like, three weeks ago... 1801 01:45:07,882 --> 01:45:10,112 ...while you were taking a shit. 1802 01:45:10,318 --> 01:45:15,312 And I saw your housing, like, forms. 1803 01:45:15,824 --> 01:45:20,022 So I knew you and Fogell were gonna live together, you know. 1804 01:45:20,228 --> 01:45:22,788 I'm sorry, man, I don't know. 1805 01:45:24,833 --> 01:45:28,929 I should've told you. I don't know why I didn't. 1806 01:45:29,137 --> 01:45:31,867 Don't- No, don't be sorry. I should be sorry. 1807 01:45:32,073 --> 01:45:34,803 I was being a dick. I was being a big dick to you. 1808 01:45:35,010 --> 01:45:36,238 No, I- 1809 01:45:36,444 --> 01:45:40,847 Listen, Seth, I want you to know, I don't wanna live with Fogell. 1810 01:45:41,049 --> 01:45:46,009 I never wanted to live with him. I just don't- I ha- 1811 01:45:46,221 --> 01:45:48,382 I'm afraid to live with strangers. 1812 01:45:50,258 --> 01:45:51,384 I can't. 1813 01:45:52,494 --> 01:45:54,462 I can't do it. 1814 01:45:55,864 --> 01:45:58,594 I know, I know. 1815 01:45:59,901 --> 01:46:02,768 I can't believe you saved me. 1816 01:46:04,439 --> 01:46:06,566 You saved me. 1817 01:46:06,775 --> 01:46:09,676 I can't believe. I owe you so- 1818 01:46:10,545 --> 01:46:14,675 You carried me. I love you. 1819 01:46:15,316 --> 01:46:16,749 I love you, man. 1820 01:46:19,721 --> 01:46:21,746 I love you. 1821 01:46:23,191 --> 01:46:27,821 I love you. I'm not even embarrassed to say it. I just- 1822 01:46:28,029 --> 01:46:29,997 I lo- I love you. 1823 01:46:30,198 --> 01:46:31,859 - I'm not embarrassed. - I love you. 1824 01:46:32,067 --> 01:46:33,534 I love you. 1825 01:46:33,735 --> 01:46:36,499 why don't we say that every day? why can't we say it more often? 1826 01:46:36,705 --> 01:46:38,935 I just love you. I just wanna go to the rooftops and scream: 1827 01:46:39,140 --> 01:46:40,437 "I love my best friend, Evan. " 1828 01:46:40,642 --> 01:46:44,271 - we should go up on my roof. - For sure. 1829 01:46:44,479 --> 01:46:50,281 Like, when you went away for Easter, on your vacation, I missed you. 1830 01:46:50,485 --> 01:46:53,943 - I missed you too. - I want the world to know. 1831 01:46:54,389 --> 01:46:59,053 It's- It's the most beautiful thing in the world. 1832 01:47:02,664 --> 01:47:06,191 Come here. Come here, man. 1833 01:47:16,878 --> 01:47:19,403 - I love you. - I love you. 1834 01:47:32,427 --> 01:47:34,486 what the fuck? 1835 01:47:41,870 --> 01:47:46,864 - what up? - Morning. Morning. 1836 01:47:47,342 --> 01:47:49,833 I should get moving. I should get moving. 1837 01:47:50,044 --> 01:47:52,239 I should be getting a move on, for sure. 1838 01:47:52,447 --> 01:47:55,416 Yeah, you don't- I mean, you don't have to, you know. 1839 01:47:55,617 --> 01:47:58,677 I don't really have anything going on. 1840 01:47:58,887 --> 01:48:01,412 You don't have to rush off like that. 1841 01:48:04,926 --> 01:48:06,951 You wanna hang out? 1842 01:48:07,395 --> 01:48:09,829 I was gonna go to the mall. 1843 01:48:10,031 --> 01:48:13,467 I have to get a new comforter. 1844 01:48:14,102 --> 01:48:16,593 For college. The mall, they would sell that. 1845 01:48:16,805 --> 01:48:18,363 Cool. So... 1846 01:48:19,741 --> 01:48:22,005 ...your mom's got huge tits. 1847 01:48:24,646 --> 01:48:25,908 what do you think? 1848 01:48:26,114 --> 01:48:27,479 I don't know, man. Don't ask me. 1849 01:48:27,682 --> 01:48:30,446 Because I don't give a shit how pants look. 1850 01:48:30,652 --> 01:48:33,018 Yeah, I need someone's opinion. 1851 01:48:33,221 --> 01:48:36,554 Those are too tight. Those are way too tight. 1852 01:48:36,758 --> 01:48:39,226 - Yeah, but, like- - way too tight. You need to upgrade. 1853 01:48:39,427 --> 01:48:41,987 There's not enough pants where there should be. More pants. 1854 01:48:42,197 --> 01:48:44,563 Yeah, but- I mean, does it look weird? 1855 01:48:44,766 --> 01:48:48,133 Looks like you're standing funny. You wouldn't stand like that. Like a duck. 1856 01:48:48,336 --> 01:48:50,099 Yeah, but I'm doing like- 1857 01:48:50,305 --> 01:48:53,536 - I'm doing the college poses like- - I don't know if you are. 1858 01:48:53,741 --> 01:48:55,641 - You might just be doing- - Hey, prof. 1859 01:48:55,844 --> 01:48:57,903 - Okay. - That test was... 1860 01:48:58,546 --> 01:49:02,414 Hey, Susan. Are you gonna party tonight or no? 1861 01:49:02,617 --> 01:49:06,178 Yeah, but that's just- It's like I wish there were more pants where- 1862 01:49:06,421 --> 01:49:07,649 You know, where there aren't. 1863 01:49:07,889 --> 01:49:09,754 But when I was wearing your dad's pants... 1864 01:49:09,958 --> 01:49:12,756 ...I realized that if I wear pants that are a little too small... 1865 01:49:12,961 --> 01:49:14,656 ...it might encourage me to lose weight. 1866 01:49:14,863 --> 01:49:16,763 And also, chicks can kind of see, like... 1867 01:49:16,965 --> 01:49:19,593 ...you know, the borders and outline of my dick a little. 1868 01:49:19,801 --> 01:49:22,770 Yeah, man, they go nuts for that. The male camel toe. 1869 01:49:22,971 --> 01:49:25,963 Yeah, the camel tail. It's right- 1870 01:49:26,174 --> 01:49:27,835 I know where it is, where it happens. 1871 01:49:28,042 --> 01:49:29,703 Like, right there. 1872 01:49:29,911 --> 01:49:33,472 It's like they're so tight that one ball is, like, above my dick, even. 1873 01:49:33,681 --> 01:49:35,376 - Yeah, exactly. - It's like three. 1874 01:49:35,583 --> 01:49:38,177 It's like a three thing. It's like ball, dick, ball. 1875 01:49:38,386 --> 01:49:39,751 It's like a division sign. 1876 01:49:39,954 --> 01:49:41,751 Like a bunch of people crammed into a van. 1877 01:49:42,690 --> 01:49:46,421 - Making my ass look weird? - It makes a lot of stuff look weird. 1878 01:49:46,761 --> 01:49:48,194 No, those are way too tight. 1879 01:49:49,030 --> 01:49:51,794 You're right, these look stupid. Let's get the fuck out of here. 1880 01:49:52,000 --> 01:49:55,265 I'm really sorry about that. I can't believe I actually did that. 1881 01:49:55,470 --> 01:49:57,529 I feel bad that I'm making you buy me a new one. 1882 01:49:57,739 --> 01:49:59,001 It's seems, like, ridiculous. 1883 01:49:59,207 --> 01:50:03,234 - No. I have to, it's puke. It's gross. - Oh, my God. 1884 01:50:03,444 --> 01:50:05,935 Do alcoholics get hangovers? 1885 01:50:06,147 --> 01:50:08,945 Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit. It's them. 1886 01:50:09,851 --> 01:50:13,753 - what the fuck do we do, man? - Don't stop. I don't know. 1887 01:50:15,590 --> 01:50:18,024 - Hey. - Hey. 1888 01:50:18,960 --> 01:50:20,655 How's it going? 1889 01:50:22,397 --> 01:50:25,161 It's so good to- How are you feeling? 1890 01:50:25,800 --> 01:50:29,292 I've felt better. But I'll be fine. How about you? 1891 01:50:30,405 --> 01:50:34,535 I'm okay, you know, yeah. Did you have fun last night? 1892 01:50:37,078 --> 01:50:40,605 You know, I actually don't remember much. 1893 01:50:40,815 --> 01:50:42,339 I don't remember anything. 1894 01:50:43,251 --> 01:50:46,220 - So weird. - Nothing. 1895 01:50:46,721 --> 01:50:49,315 I didn't puke on you, did I? 1896 01:50:49,791 --> 01:50:52,021 You didn't. I remember that you- I avoided it. 1897 01:50:52,226 --> 01:50:56,322 It whizzed right by me, and I said, "Stay away from me," you know. 1898 01:50:56,965 --> 01:51:02,904 I'm really sorry about everything last night, and I just... 1899 01:51:04,572 --> 01:51:07,006 Thank you for being such a nice guy about it all. 1900 01:51:07,909 --> 01:51:09,536 That's okay, you know. 1901 01:51:09,744 --> 01:51:12,338 At least you don't have a black eye from it. 1902 01:51:15,750 --> 01:51:18,878 - That looks terrible. - Yeah. 1903 01:51:19,787 --> 01:51:24,087 You look great. You don't look terrible. It's just, like, a bad bruise. 1904 01:51:24,292 --> 01:51:27,022 Everything's great, just from he- This, just like right there. 1905 01:51:27,228 --> 01:51:28,820 - Your eye. - Yeah, your eye. 1906 01:51:29,030 --> 01:51:30,657 Everything else is great. 1907 01:51:30,865 --> 01:51:34,858 But seriously, I acted like a fucking idiot last night. 1908 01:51:37,572 --> 01:51:41,770 You don't deserve that. So I'm sorry. 1909 01:51:42,610 --> 01:51:46,410 On the upside, I think you look cool with a black eye. 1910 01:51:46,614 --> 01:51:49,981 I'm just gonna throw that out there. I don't- I don't know. 1911 01:51:50,184 --> 01:51:54,177 well, thank you, smart guy. Thanks. That's actually why I'm here. 1912 01:51:54,389 --> 01:51:57,688 Because I have to get a ton of cover-up for the grad photo. 1913 01:51:57,892 --> 01:52:00,326 Oh, man. Fuck. 1914 01:52:00,528 --> 01:52:02,928 And I'm gonna get Jules a new comforter. 1915 01:52:03,131 --> 01:52:05,065 I have to get a comforter too. For college. 1916 01:52:05,266 --> 01:52:07,791 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah, I just figured I would need one. 1917 01:52:08,002 --> 01:52:09,902 So, Seth... 1918 01:52:11,239 --> 01:52:15,198 So do you wanna come buy me cover-up or something? 1919 01:52:15,410 --> 01:52:17,435 I mean, you kind of owe me. 1920 01:52:18,846 --> 01:52:22,213 Yeah, definitely. I would love to do that. 1921 01:52:22,683 --> 01:52:24,583 I had such bad acne last year... 1922 01:52:24,786 --> 01:52:28,153 ...that I pretty much became, like, an expert on the stuff. 1923 01:52:28,723 --> 01:52:31,317 well, you drove. Evan drove me here, though, so... 1924 01:52:31,526 --> 01:52:33,551 well, so- well, I mean, I have my dad's car. 1925 01:52:33,761 --> 01:52:36,594 So I could just give you a lift... 1926 01:52:36,798 --> 01:52:38,823 ...and then Evan could take Becca home. 1927 01:52:39,033 --> 01:52:41,433 If that works. I don't know if it's in your route. 1928 01:52:41,636 --> 01:52:42,864 It'd be fine with me. 1929 01:52:43,071 --> 01:52:45,835 Fine, yeah. Maybe we can get some food. 1930 01:52:47,041 --> 01:52:48,303 Yeah, I'd like that. 1931 01:52:51,212 --> 01:52:52,873 So I guess I'll call you, then. 1932 01:52:53,081 --> 01:52:55,072 Yeah, give me a call. Yeah, you have my number. 1933 01:52:55,283 --> 01:52:58,309 I have your information. So put her there. 1934 01:52:58,519 --> 01:53:01,488 Perfect. Good. All right, man. 1935 01:53:01,689 --> 01:53:03,088 - Okay. - Okay, guys. 1936 01:53:03,291 --> 01:53:04,815 - Becca. - Bye, guys. 1937 01:53:05,026 --> 01:53:06,584 - Bye, have fun. - See you, Jules. 1938 01:53:06,794 --> 01:53:09,922 Yeah, that's funny. Too funny. 1939 01:53:10,131 --> 01:53:12,622 where do you wanna go to eat? 1940 01:53:14,001 --> 01:53:17,266 So can you honestly help me figure out what kind of cover-up to get? 1137 01:53:48,600 --> 01:53:51,700 © anoXmous @ http://thepiratebay.sx/user/Zen_Bud 1138 01:53:51,800 --> 01:53:56,800 © anoXmous @ http://thepiratebay.sx/user/Zen_Bud 1941 01:58:24,645 --> 01:58:26,044 I love you. 1942 01:58:27,000 --> 01:58:30,132 © anoXmous @ http://thepiratebay.sx/user/Zen_Bud