1
00:00:59,384 --> 00:01:01,886
You must do something.
Baby's coming.

2
00:01:01,970 --> 00:01:05,807
Yeah, I know. Miss, you have to
stay calm and take deep breaths.

3
00:01:05,890 --> 00:01:07,684
Myra. I need a doctor here now.

4
00:01:07,767 --> 00:01:10,728
- I'm working on it.
- You're not doctor?

5
00:01:10,812 --> 00:01:13,147
- I'm a nurse.
- You are man and you are nurse?

6
00:01:13,231 --> 00:01:15,441
What kind of man is nurse?

7
00:01:15,525 --> 00:01:18,987
Look, folks. I'm a professional, OK?
I know what I'm doing.

8
00:01:19,070 --> 00:01:21,823
Trust me, everything's going to be fine.

9
00:01:21,906 --> 00:01:24,117
Yeah.
Yeah, you're fully dilated.

10
00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:26,369
Hey. I need that doctor right now.

11
00:01:26,452 --> 00:01:30,039
There are no free doctors.
You'll have to deliver the baby.

12
00:01:30,123 --> 00:01:32,750
I can see a head.

13
00:01:32,834 --> 00:01:35,254
Holy shit.

14
00:01:41,552 --> 00:01:44,722
Check it out. We did it.

15
00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:46,891
We had a boy.

16
00:01:47,933 --> 00:01:51,353
A boy. You're my hero.

17
00:01:51,437 --> 00:01:54,815
- I name a baby for you.
- You don't have to do that.

18
00:01:54,899 --> 00:01:59,278
I must. It's a Latvian tradition.
We will name the baby...

19
00:02:10,624 --> 00:02:13,335
You've reached the Fockers.
We're not around,

20
00:02:13,418 --> 00:02:15,503
so leave a message. Goodbye.

21
00:02:15,587 --> 00:02:18,882
Roz. How the hell
do you shut this thing off?

22
00:02:18,965 --> 00:02:21,051
I have no idea. Just press a button.

23
00:02:21,134 --> 00:02:24,262
I'm pretty sure it's off.
Honey, you want a chimichanga?

24
00:02:24,346 --> 00:02:27,682
- They give you gas.
- A little, but it's worth it.

25
00:02:27,766 --> 00:02:29,976
For you.
I'm the one that gets the fumes.

26
00:02:30,060 --> 00:02:33,313
- I'm in the mood for a chimichanga.
- So make a...

27
00:02:33,396 --> 00:02:35,065
Hey, guys, it's me.

28
00:02:35,148 --> 00:02:38,443
Dad, I told you six months ago
to change that message.

29
00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:41,530
I'm calling to double check,
cos I didn't hear from you.

30
00:02:41,614 --> 00:02:44,033
Pam and I are flying out
to Oyster Bay today,

31
00:02:44,116 --> 00:02:46,536
then to Miami tomorrow
with the Byrneses.

32
00:02:46,619 --> 00:02:49,914
We get in at 7.30. That should
put us at the house around 9.00.

33
00:02:49,997 --> 00:02:51,916
So give me a call back
on my cell.

34
00:02:51,999 --> 00:02:56,087
I want to go over a few things
with you about Pam's dad and

35
00:02:56,170 --> 00:02:58,965
some other stuff for the weekend.
Love you. Bye.

36
00:02:59,048 --> 00:03:01,259
- Hey.
- Morning. How was your shift?

37
00:03:01,342 --> 00:03:03,261
- Guess what.
- What?

38
00:03:03,344 --> 00:03:05,972
- I delivered my first baby.
- No way.

39
00:03:06,055 --> 00:03:08,933
- Honey, I'm so proud of you.
- It was incredible.

40
00:03:09,016 --> 00:03:13,062
I mean, just to be pulling
this life force out of this woman's...

41
00:03:13,145 --> 00:03:17,108
You know. It was just so...
The whole baby thing is...

42
00:03:17,191 --> 00:03:19,944
- It's so cool.
- That's great, honey.

43
00:03:20,027 --> 00:03:22,321
- That's great.
- So, you ready to go?

44
00:03:22,405 --> 00:03:24,532
- I want to get to the airport.
- In a sec.

45
00:03:24,615 --> 00:03:27,118
- Things always go wrong.
- We have four hours.

46
00:03:27,201 --> 00:03:30,663
I wish we could set a wedding date
without our parents meeting.

47
00:03:30,746 --> 00:03:32,748
This weekend is going to be fine.

48
00:03:32,832 --> 00:03:36,002
- Your parents are great.
- They're great in small doses.

49
00:03:36,085 --> 00:03:40,631
48 hours in Coconut Grove is a small
dose. Besides, you've won over my dad.

50
00:03:40,715 --> 00:03:42,758
And that is the hard part.

51
00:03:42,842 --> 00:03:46,554
It is true. I am still in the
Byrnes family Circle of Trust.

52
00:03:46,637 --> 00:03:49,349
You're firmly in the Circle.

53
00:03:49,683 --> 00:03:50,726
Finally.

54
00:03:51,935 --> 00:03:54,855
- Taxi.
- Taxi.

55
00:03:59,985 --> 00:04:01,820
- You going to the airport?
- Yeah.

56
00:04:01,904 --> 00:04:04,031
- Take mine.
- All right.

57
00:04:04,114 --> 00:04:06,366
Great.

58
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:12,664
- Nice guy, huh?
- Yeah.

59
00:04:29,766 --> 00:04:31,517
You two, you're up.

60
00:04:55,751 --> 00:04:58,045
- Oh, dear.
- What?

61
00:04:58,128 --> 00:05:01,090
Well, they overbooked coach.

62
00:05:01,173 --> 00:05:04,677
So what does that mean?
Do we miss our flight, or...

63
00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:08,430
Well, we are gonna
have to upgrade you to first class.

64
00:05:08,514 --> 00:05:10,766
Really?

65
00:05:10,849 --> 00:05:12,476
Thank you.

66
00:05:14,228 --> 00:05:17,565
Sir, why don't you
let me take that for you?

67
00:05:19,733 --> 00:05:21,652
OK. Yeah.

68
00:05:21,735 --> 00:05:25,698
You wanna check it? Or put it
on another flight? That's cool.

69
00:05:25,781 --> 00:05:28,325
Just gonna store it
in the captain's closet.

70
00:05:31,161 --> 00:05:33,747
- That was nice.
- Yeah.

71
00:05:33,831 --> 00:05:36,125
- Champagne?
- Thank you.

72
00:05:36,208 --> 00:05:39,044
- Champagne, sir?
- Thank you.

73
00:05:39,128 --> 00:05:40,963
Enjoy.

74
00:05:48,679 --> 00:05:51,932
Would you like to purchase
rental insurance, Mr Focker?

75
00:05:53,934 --> 00:05:55,185
No.

76
00:05:55,269 --> 00:05:57,813
- Thanks.
- No?

77
00:05:57,897 --> 00:06:01,025
It's a scam.
That's how they make all their money.

78
00:06:01,108 --> 00:06:03,194
That's true. You don't need it.

79
00:06:04,154 --> 00:06:06,364
Get outta here.

80
00:06:19,628 --> 00:06:22,088
The house of Byrnes.

81
00:06:23,089 --> 00:06:25,550
A lot of good memories here.

82
00:06:26,676 --> 00:06:28,678
Mom? Dad?

83
00:06:29,512 --> 00:06:32,057
I am watching you.

84
00:06:34,100 --> 00:06:36,102
Almost.

85
00:06:36,186 --> 00:06:38,314
But you have to do it
with two fingers,

86
00:06:38,397 --> 00:06:40,566
one on each eye, like this.

87
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,777
I am watching you.

88
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:47,365
We'll get back to that later.
Guess who's here?

89
00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:50,284
It's Professor Einstein.

90
00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:53,120
Hi, Little Jack.
You are a genius.

91
00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:55,998
I see a Nobel Prize in your future.
Yes, I do.

92
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,793
Study break, boys.
Company's here.

93
00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:02,171
- Pamcake.
- Flapjack.

94
00:07:04,298 --> 00:07:06,425
Short stack,
short stack, coming up.

95
00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:09,345
Put some syrup in the cup.

96
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:16,436
That's how it goes, right?

97
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:17,938
That's OK, Greg.

98
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:20,524
- Nice to see you.
- Yes.

99
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:24,111
- Nice to see you, Grandpa.
- Yeah.

100
00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:27,948
My goodness. How did my nephew
get so big? Look at you.

101
00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:31,201
- You look just like your mommy.
- He does, doesn't he?

102
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:35,038
Hey, this is Greg.
Remember we talked about him?

103
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:45,007
Sorry, Greg.
The card only comes in one gender.

104
00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:47,801
Yeah, no, that's all right.

105
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,512
He's taking you in.

106
00:07:50,596 --> 00:07:53,265
He has a very keen sense
for people, Greg.

107
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,560
A chip off the old block, huh?

108
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,896
Might have another CIA man
on our hands.

109
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,815
I'd be discreet about my profession
if I were you.

110
00:08:01,899 --> 00:08:05,360
As far as your parents are concerned,
I'm a horticulturalist.

111
00:08:05,444 --> 00:08:08,447
Are Deb and Bob house-sitting
while we're in Florida?

112
00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:10,032
No, they're in Thailand,

113
00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:13,035
visiting the clinic
they opened on their honeymoon.

114
00:08:13,118 --> 00:08:15,329
What is all this stuff, anyway?

115
00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:18,208
After Denny was sent away
to military school,

116
00:08:18,291 --> 00:08:22,337
your father turned this into
a learning laboratory for you-know-who.

117
00:08:22,420 --> 00:08:25,590
Can't you talk yet,
Mr Munchkin Head, you little...

118
00:08:30,845 --> 00:08:34,265
Greg, Greg, don't infantilise him.
Talk to him like an adult.

119
00:08:34,349 --> 00:08:36,184
Muskrat.

120
00:08:36,267 --> 00:08:38,978
- Muskrat, Jack.
- Right.

121
00:08:39,062 --> 00:08:41,439
Try to understand, he's a little person.

122
00:08:41,522 --> 00:08:45,693
His communication skills aren't verbal
yet, but he understands. Observe.

123
00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:48,738
LJ, are you hungry?

124
00:08:55,246 --> 00:08:56,956
Look at that.

125
00:08:57,039 --> 00:09:02,294
"I would like to eat more, please."

126
00:09:02,378 --> 00:09:06,757
"I'd like a nap, and then later
I'll enjoy a nice poop."

127
00:09:11,679 --> 00:09:14,181
I've heard about
this baby signing stuff.

128
00:09:14,265 --> 00:09:16,767
This is, like, cutting edge.
Like... yeah.

129
00:09:16,850 --> 00:09:19,687
At his age, Greg,
his mind is like a sponge.

130
00:09:19,770 --> 00:09:21,814
But when he reaches your age,

131
00:09:21,897 --> 00:09:25,110
his mind will be less capable
of absorbing information.

132
00:09:25,193 --> 00:09:27,696
He's so cute. Can I hold him?

133
00:09:27,779 --> 00:09:30,282
I don't think that's
such a good idea, Greg.

134
00:09:30,365 --> 00:09:32,200
Muskrat.

135
00:09:33,702 --> 00:09:35,912
All right. All right.

136
00:09:35,996 --> 00:09:39,749
This is Greg.
Greg will not drop you. OK?

137
00:09:41,042 --> 00:09:42,377
OK.

138
00:09:42,460 --> 00:09:45,463
- Be careful.
- Hello. Hello.

139
00:09:48,383 --> 00:09:50,468
I think he likes me.

140
00:09:50,552 --> 00:09:52,012
No?

141
00:09:53,263 --> 00:09:55,640
- Shit.
- Focker.

142
00:09:55,724 --> 00:09:57,225
He's absorbing you.

143
00:09:57,309 --> 00:10:00,061
I don't want his first word
to be a profanity.

144
00:10:00,145 --> 00:10:03,940
It's OK. Cover your nose.
You're terrifying him.

145
00:10:04,024 --> 00:10:06,860
- I'll get a towel.
- Focker.

146
00:10:06,943 --> 00:10:09,654
Cool how your dad's
so into being a grandparent.

147
00:10:09,738 --> 00:10:13,700
I think it freaks my mom out. He spends
every last second with that kid.

148
00:10:15,827 --> 00:10:17,370
Oh, my God.

149
00:10:18,788 --> 00:10:20,582
Daddy?

150
00:10:22,042 --> 00:10:24,377
Daddy, what is this thing?

151
00:10:24,461 --> 00:10:26,296
A custom-designed motor coach.

152
00:10:26,379 --> 00:10:29,049
Jack calls it the
"Highlight of our Twilight".

153
00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:34,972
- This is incredible.
- Isn't it?

154
00:10:37,141 --> 00:10:38,684
It's like a tank.

155
00:10:38,768 --> 00:10:42,730
In these uncertain times,
I opted for a Kevlar-reinforced hull

156
00:10:42,813 --> 00:10:45,566
with two-inch thick Plexiglas windows,

157
00:10:45,650 --> 00:10:48,402
like on the Russian
Widowmaker submarines.

158
00:10:48,486 --> 00:10:51,197
I want you to conduct
a field test for us, Greg.

159
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:55,618
I want you to demonstrate the
impregnable outer skin of the coach.

160
00:10:55,701 --> 00:10:57,787
Throw it at the window.

161
00:10:58,746 --> 00:11:01,749
Jack. I'm not gonna throw
a brick at your window.

162
00:11:01,832 --> 00:11:03,876
- It's a simple demonstration.
- No.

163
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:06,964
- Throw the brick, Greg.
- OK. Just...

164
00:11:07,047 --> 00:11:08,799
- All your might.
- All right.

165
00:11:16,056 --> 00:11:19,226
Don't worry. Your rental insurance
will take care of it.

166
00:11:19,309 --> 00:11:20,352
Jack?

167
00:11:20,435 --> 00:11:23,772
Come on.
We'll call a tow truck from the road.

168
00:11:23,855 --> 00:11:27,401
- The road?
- Yeah, we're driving this to Miami.

169
00:11:27,484 --> 00:11:29,611
I thought we were flying tomorrow.

170
00:11:29,695 --> 00:11:33,448
No. Airline travel being what
it is these days, so unreliable,

171
00:11:33,532 --> 00:11:37,286
I'll feel more comfortable knowing
I have my own Posturepedic bed,

172
00:11:37,369 --> 00:11:39,956
my own thermostat,
my own lavatory facility.

173
00:11:40,790 --> 00:11:43,251
So we're all gonna be in this together?

174
00:11:43,334 --> 00:11:47,672
We hit the road in exactly
seven minutes, 27 seconds.

175
00:11:47,755 --> 00:11:51,926
This way we'll get in early, spend
an extra half-day with your parents.

176
00:11:52,010 --> 00:11:54,721
- Isn't that great?
- That is great.

177
00:11:54,804 --> 00:11:56,973
...but I'm the one
that gets the fumes.

178
00:11:57,056 --> 00:12:00,518
- I'm in the mood for a chimichanga.
- So make a...

179
00:12:00,602 --> 00:12:03,396
Hey, guys, it's me.

180
00:12:03,479 --> 00:12:06,816
I'm getting worried that
I haven't heard back from you.

181
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:11,029
There's been a little change of plans.
We're coming down in Jack's RV.

182
00:12:11,112 --> 00:12:14,824
We'll be arriving tomorrow afternoon,
not tomorrow night.

183
00:12:14,908 --> 00:12:18,870
OK, tomorrow afternoon. And they're
bringing their little grandson.

184
00:12:18,953 --> 00:12:23,499
So... He's a baby,
so... I don't know.

185
00:12:24,626 --> 00:12:26,753
Welcome aboard, me hearties.

186
00:12:26,836 --> 00:12:28,463
This is incredible.

187
00:12:28,546 --> 00:12:31,382
- It's as big as our apartment.
- Pretty neat, huh?

188
00:12:35,678 --> 00:12:38,723
Mr Jinx finally learned
how to flush the toilet, huh?

189
00:12:38,806 --> 00:12:43,895
Yeah, Jack installed a special flusher
and he learned in about two days.

190
00:12:43,978 --> 00:12:45,939
Hey there, Jinxy.
How are you doing?

191
00:12:50,736 --> 00:12:53,447
Ready to hit the road, Co-Captain?

192
00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:57,785
- I'm the co-captain?
- Let's set sail, sailor.

193
00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:03,374
Good afternoon.

194
00:13:03,457 --> 00:13:05,584
This is Captain Jack Byrnes speaking.

195
00:13:06,252 --> 00:13:08,295
- Daddy.
- A quick announcement.

196
00:13:08,379 --> 00:13:10,673
As a courtesy to fellow passengers,

197
00:13:10,756 --> 00:13:14,260
the on-board lavatory
should be used for number one only.

198
00:13:14,343 --> 00:13:16,262
Should a need for number two arise,

199
00:13:16,345 --> 00:13:19,098
we'll stop at a rest stop
or a heavily wooded area.

200
00:13:19,181 --> 00:13:21,184
Thank you. Welcome aboard.

201
00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:25,855
I like that thing. You mind
if I make a little announcement?

202
00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:29,067
Well, only the captain
gets to make an announcement.

203
00:13:30,819 --> 00:13:32,696
Do you want to honk the horn?

204
00:13:34,155 --> 00:13:35,198
Sure.

205
00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:37,409
Only the captain gets to honk the horn.

206
00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:46,835
Look.

207
00:13:46,918 --> 00:13:48,420
Hey, Jinxy. See that?

208
00:13:54,342 --> 00:13:56,679
LJ, are you hungry,
do you want some milk?

209
00:14:01,058 --> 00:14:03,311
Hey, Jack.

210
00:14:04,395 --> 00:14:07,064
- She wants you to honk the horn.
- Not interested.

211
00:14:07,857 --> 00:14:10,318
Rules of the road.
She honks, you honk.

212
00:14:10,401 --> 00:14:13,613
Come on, Jack. Give her a honk.

213
00:14:13,696 --> 00:14:15,573
There you go.

214
00:14:15,656 --> 00:14:18,743
Yeah. Hey. Looks like a team
or something.

215
00:14:18,826 --> 00:14:22,163
"Honk if you're horny."

216
00:14:29,420 --> 00:14:31,547
Thanks for that, Greg.

217
00:14:38,721 --> 00:14:40,223
I'm the one that gets the fumes.

218
00:14:40,306 --> 00:14:43,142
- I'm in the mood for a chimichanga.
- So make a...

219
00:14:48,940 --> 00:14:50,608
Hey, there.

220
00:14:51,525 --> 00:14:53,903
No hard feelings, all right?

221
00:14:53,986 --> 00:14:55,863
Friends?

222
00:14:55,947 --> 00:14:58,241
What's that?
What are you saying?

223
00:14:58,324 --> 00:15:01,619
Wait a minute. What does this mean?
I know what this means.

224
00:15:01,702 --> 00:15:04,289
Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze. Poop.

225
00:15:04,373 --> 00:15:07,167
You gotta poop? OK. Good.
Thank you for warning me.

226
00:15:07,251 --> 00:15:10,712
Everybody poops. Sometimes it hurts.
It's OK. Just let it...

227
00:15:10,796 --> 00:15:13,131
Let it come out.

228
00:15:13,215 --> 00:15:16,093
- What did you do?
- Nothing. I think he has to poop.

229
00:15:16,176 --> 00:15:19,054
That's not the sign for poop.
It's the sign for milk.

230
00:15:19,137 --> 00:15:22,182
- This is the poop sign.
- What's the sign for sour milk?

231
00:15:22,266 --> 00:15:24,351
This tastes a little funky.

232
00:15:24,434 --> 00:15:26,979
Because that's from
Debbie's left breast.

233
00:15:32,317 --> 00:15:35,404
She pumped for a week
to give us enough for the trip.

234
00:15:35,487 --> 00:15:39,867
- OK, snack pack for Little Jack.
- What are you doing there?

235
00:15:39,951 --> 00:15:42,245
During the breast-feeding stage, Greg,

236
00:15:42,328 --> 00:15:45,665
infants can get confused
when separated from their mothers.

237
00:15:45,748 --> 00:15:50,086
So I invented something to ease
LJ's anxiety during chow time.

238
00:15:52,630 --> 00:15:55,466
I call it the Manary Gland.

239
00:15:55,550 --> 00:15:59,012
I had it made from an exact cast
of Debbie's left bosom.

240
00:16:01,681 --> 00:16:03,725
Oh, yeah. OK.

241
00:16:03,808 --> 00:16:07,353
It's been so effective,
I'm thinking of getting it patented.

242
00:16:07,437 --> 00:16:10,065
- Would you like to touch it?
- I wouldn't.

243
00:16:10,149 --> 00:16:13,485
- Feel how soft it is.
- I can see how soft it is from here.

244
00:16:13,569 --> 00:16:16,363
- No, feel it, Greg.
- It looks... Yeah.

245
00:16:16,447 --> 00:16:18,532
Just feel the breast, Greg.

246
00:16:20,409 --> 00:16:23,704
- Just...
- Watch the nipple. Just around here.

247
00:16:23,787 --> 00:16:25,873
The nipple is his.

248
00:16:27,583 --> 00:16:32,421
Oh, yeah.
It's got a great, lifelike kinda...

249
00:16:32,504 --> 00:16:36,050
Or what I would imagine
Debbie's breast might feel like.

250
00:16:36,133 --> 00:16:38,594
Not that I would know.

251
00:16:44,642 --> 00:16:46,435
Greg?

252
00:16:46,518 --> 00:16:48,437
What?

253
00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:52,733
You promised you wouldn't take
the boob out in front of company.

254
00:16:52,816 --> 00:16:56,195
Nothing to be ashamed of.
Breast-feeding is natural.

255
00:16:56,278 --> 00:16:59,073
Dad, that's not natural,
that's just weird.

256
00:16:59,990 --> 00:17:03,410
As soon as Little Jack's topped off,
we're gonna hit the road.

257
00:17:04,453 --> 00:17:07,665
Oh, Jack.
You can't drive any more.

258
00:17:07,748 --> 00:17:11,168
Dr Monroe said
no aggravating your sciatica.

259
00:17:11,252 --> 00:17:13,212
We're on a precise schedule.

260
00:17:13,295 --> 00:17:16,799
We bunk here tonight, we hit
horrendous traffic in the morning.

261
00:17:18,802 --> 00:17:20,470
- Greg?
- Yeah?

262
00:17:20,845 --> 00:17:22,931
Maybe you can drive
the night shift.

263
00:17:23,014 --> 00:17:25,350
I could do that.
I am the co-captain.

264
00:17:25,433 --> 00:17:29,437
So I think that falls under
my responsibilities, right?

265
00:17:29,521 --> 00:17:32,107
- Keep her at 55. Stay alert.
- Yeah.

266
00:17:32,190 --> 00:17:34,818
I want to get behind the wheel
of this big boy.

267
00:17:40,657 --> 00:17:43,201
You got it. Pass.

268
00:17:45,745 --> 00:17:49,249
Sorry. Gotta go 55.
Captain Jack's orders.

269
00:18:07,476 --> 00:18:11,272
- Would you like some company?
- Yeah, sure. You can't sleep?

270
00:18:11,355 --> 00:18:13,441
Have a seat.

271
00:18:22,450 --> 00:18:26,330
- How about a cappuccino?
- You don't have to do that.

272
00:18:26,413 --> 00:18:30,208
- It's no problem for me.
- Really? Yeah? OK.

273
00:18:30,292 --> 00:18:33,962
Dina. Wake up
and make Greg a cappuccino.

274
00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:36,423
Shake a leg, woman.

275
00:18:36,506 --> 00:18:39,718
Jesus. You know what,
I'm not that tired. Really. It's...

276
00:18:39,801 --> 00:18:42,846
Relax, Greg.
This cockpit's completely soundproof.

277
00:18:42,930 --> 00:18:45,432
You should have seen
the look on your face.

278
00:18:45,515 --> 00:18:49,144
OK. You got me.
That was a good one.

279
00:18:49,228 --> 00:18:51,188
Yes, it was. Yes.

280
00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:53,899
That's funny.

281
00:18:53,982 --> 00:18:57,945
But you should never talk to a woman
like that. It's disrespectful.

282
00:18:58,028 --> 00:19:01,865
- Right. Of course. Yeah.
- Greg.

283
00:19:01,949 --> 00:19:05,452
A man reaches an age
when he realizes what's truly important.

284
00:19:06,578 --> 00:19:08,622
And you know what that is?

285
00:19:08,705 --> 00:19:12,709
Love and friendship?

286
00:19:13,543 --> 00:19:17,381
Enjoying the moment?
Living, just... Love.

287
00:19:18,590 --> 00:19:21,009
- His legacy.
- That too. Right. Yeah, sure.

288
00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:24,304
Now, my grandson, Little Jack,
is part of that legacy.

289
00:19:24,388 --> 00:19:26,974
In six months, you and Pam
are gonna be married.

290
00:19:27,057 --> 00:19:29,518
Then you'll want to start
your own family.

291
00:19:29,601 --> 00:19:31,395
Actually, on that subject...

292
00:19:31,478 --> 00:19:35,149
- I've thought about the wedding date.
- We'll discuss that later.

293
00:19:35,233 --> 00:19:37,193
Let's get back on point.

294
00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:39,320
Let me put it very simply.

295
00:19:39,404 --> 00:19:43,283
If your family circle does indeed
join my family circle,

296
00:19:43,366 --> 00:19:45,451
they'll form a chain.

297
00:19:45,535 --> 00:19:47,453
I can't have a chink in my chain.

298
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:51,082
Yeah. OK. I get the metaphor.

299
00:19:51,165 --> 00:19:55,878
Now, I've never met your parents,
so I won't jump to hasty conclusions.

300
00:19:55,962 --> 00:19:59,465
But like studying a frozen caveman,
if I see where you came from,

301
00:19:59,549 --> 00:20:02,719
I'll have a better idea
of where you're going.

302
00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:06,015
OK. Are you thinking,
maybe my parents

303
00:20:06,098 --> 00:20:08,809
might be a chink in the chain?

304
00:20:08,893 --> 00:20:11,812
A doctor and a lawyer.
What's there to worry about?

305
00:20:38,005 --> 00:20:40,550
It seems very nice.

306
00:20:46,431 --> 00:20:48,600
Is that your father?

307
00:20:51,561 --> 00:20:53,355
That is my father.

308
00:21:03,198 --> 00:21:06,159
Gaylord.
What the heck is that contraption?

309
00:21:06,243 --> 00:21:09,621
- I thought you were flying in tonight.
- I left you a message.

310
00:21:09,704 --> 00:21:12,832
- I didn't get a message.
- I left five messages.

311
00:21:12,916 --> 00:21:15,794
Will you get over here
and plant one on me?

312
00:21:15,877 --> 00:21:19,256
I've been waiting so long
to see my best buddy.

313
00:21:19,339 --> 00:21:21,549
- Good to see you.
- Come here. Come here.

314
00:21:21,633 --> 00:21:23,969
- I missed your smell.
- All right.

315
00:21:24,052 --> 00:21:27,180
Is this not the most handsome
young man you've ever seen?

316
00:21:27,264 --> 00:21:30,267
I used to call him
a young Jewish Marlon Brando.

317
00:21:32,978 --> 00:21:35,814
Can you believe I conceived him
with one testicle?

318
00:21:35,897 --> 00:21:38,149
No, really. It's true.

319
00:21:38,233 --> 00:21:41,695
I only have one
because the other one never dropped.

320
00:21:41,778 --> 00:21:44,698
It's not uncommon.
But look at him.

321
00:21:44,781 --> 00:21:47,952
Imagine what he would have
looked like if I had two.

322
00:21:51,956 --> 00:21:54,208
That's a good icebreaker.

323
00:21:54,292 --> 00:21:58,087
There's the sexiest
second-grade teacher I've ever seen.

324
00:21:59,088 --> 00:22:00,590
That was a good one.

325
00:22:00,673 --> 00:22:03,884
Gets her every time.
Goose bumps. She loves it.

326
00:22:03,968 --> 00:22:06,512
I'm Dina Byrnes.
It's so nice to meet you.

327
00:22:06,596 --> 00:22:09,974
The pleasure is all mine,
mon cherie.

328
00:22:11,976 --> 00:22:15,688
- You gotta be the flower man.
- Right. Jack Byrnes. Pam's father.

329
00:22:15,771 --> 00:22:17,732
Bernard Focker, Gaylord's father.

330
00:22:17,815 --> 00:22:21,028
We're all grown-ups here,
and we shake hands like men.

331
00:22:21,111 --> 00:22:22,404
All right.

332
00:22:24,281 --> 00:22:27,492
We're just playing here.
Give me some love.

333
00:22:29,953 --> 00:22:31,413
We're family now.

334
00:22:31,496 --> 00:22:34,124
What are you so shy about?
Come here.

335
00:22:37,794 --> 00:22:40,589
Look at those pecs.
You're harder than sheetrock.

336
00:22:40,672 --> 00:22:43,091
You gotta work out
with weights, right?

337
00:22:43,175 --> 00:22:46,136
I do calisthenics
and medicine-ball training

338
00:22:46,220 --> 00:22:48,055
and I play bi-monthly football.

339
00:22:48,138 --> 00:22:51,475
Oh, football.
I was just practising my capoeira.

340
00:22:51,558 --> 00:22:52,976
- What?
- What?

341
00:22:53,060 --> 00:22:55,730
The Brazilian martial-art
of dance-fighting.

342
00:22:55,813 --> 00:22:58,149
He knows what that is. Yeah.

343
00:22:58,233 --> 00:23:00,693
You know,
I've been doing it for weeks.

344
00:23:00,777 --> 00:23:03,947
Really into it. Keeps me level.

345
00:23:04,030 --> 00:23:07,784
Sometimes I get wound up
so tight I could just snap.

346
00:23:07,867 --> 00:23:09,535
You know what I mean?

347
00:23:10,411 --> 00:23:12,830
What is that?
Is that a baby on board?

348
00:23:12,914 --> 00:23:15,458
That's a baby. Yes, yes.

349
00:23:15,541 --> 00:23:18,127
It's all in the message.

350
00:23:18,211 --> 00:23:21,089
Moses. Go ahead.
Say hello to your future in-laws.

351
00:23:21,172 --> 00:23:22,966
- He's harmless.
- Oh, my.

352
00:23:23,049 --> 00:23:26,719
- Yeah, and fixed. Moses.
- It's all right. He's...

353
00:23:26,803 --> 00:23:29,973
- Just shake him off.
- No. He likes the shaking. Get off.

354
00:23:30,056 --> 00:23:32,684
Don't worry.
The pink part didn't get on you.

355
00:23:32,767 --> 00:23:36,187
- Get in your basket. Go.
- He's all talk.

356
00:23:36,271 --> 00:23:39,357
- Who's this?
- This is our grandson, Little Jack.

357
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:41,442
A widdle baby.

358
00:23:42,944 --> 00:23:44,654
How are you, Widdle Jack?

359
00:23:44,737 --> 00:23:48,241
Dad, don't infantilise him.
Just talk to him like a person.

360
00:23:48,324 --> 00:23:51,619
What are you talking about?
I'm gonna talk to him like a baby.

361
00:23:56,541 --> 00:23:58,668
He likes me.

362
00:23:58,751 --> 00:24:03,173
When Roz's dad died I said,
"Hey, we're freezing here in Detroit."

363
00:24:03,257 --> 00:24:07,177
"Let's head south and get
some year-round fun in the sun."

364
00:24:07,261 --> 00:24:09,847
This house is over 100 years old...

365
00:24:09,930 --> 00:24:12,349
Continue the tour.
I'll tell Mom we're here.

366
00:24:12,433 --> 00:24:16,395
The upstairs bathroom is on el fritzo
so we'll all share this one.

367
00:24:16,478 --> 00:24:20,107
And there's a water scarcity
on the island, so we abide by

368
00:24:20,190 --> 00:24:24,153
the "If it's yellow, let it mellow,
if it's brown, flush it down" policy.

369
00:24:26,989 --> 00:24:29,158
Forgot my own rule.

370
00:24:31,201 --> 00:24:33,203
The RV's paying for itself already.

371
00:24:34,622 --> 00:24:38,543
All right, kids.
Forward. And backward.

372
00:24:38,627 --> 00:24:42,255
Rotate those hips.

373
00:24:42,339 --> 00:24:44,424
Let's get your kundalini rising.

374
00:24:44,507 --> 00:24:49,179
It's time for the ladies to get
into the reverse cowgirl position.

375
00:24:49,262 --> 00:24:51,765
Guys, lie across
the Liberator pad like so.

376
00:24:51,848 --> 00:24:53,892
Everyone look at how Ira's doing it.

377
00:24:56,102 --> 00:24:58,855
The man is loose,
he's limber and ready for action.

378
00:24:58,939 --> 00:25:02,692
Climb aboard, girls,
and let me hear your bodies talk.

379
00:25:02,776 --> 00:25:04,611
Yes.

380
00:25:04,694 --> 00:25:09,367
This position is terrific for anyone
with osteoporosis, gout or goitre.

381
00:25:09,450 --> 00:25:11,452
Stay with me.
We're almost done.

382
00:25:13,079 --> 00:25:14,580
Honey.

383
00:25:15,331 --> 00:25:17,583
All right, guys.
We have to wrap it up.

384
00:25:17,667 --> 00:25:19,252
Take your Liberator pads,

385
00:25:19,335 --> 00:25:22,672
and don't forget to stretch
before you try this at home.

386
00:25:22,755 --> 00:25:25,591
We don't want anyone
shattering a pelvis.

387
00:25:25,675 --> 00:25:28,552
Hello, my precious.
I love you so much.

388
00:25:28,636 --> 00:25:30,846
I haven't seen my bubeleh in months.

389
00:25:30,930 --> 00:25:34,141
You feel thin.
You're not eating. What's the matter?

390
00:25:34,225 --> 00:25:36,686
I'm fine.
How will we explain these people?

391
00:25:36,769 --> 00:25:40,189
They're leaving.
The Byrneses won't know they were here.

392
00:25:40,273 --> 00:25:43,192
You agreed to be discreet
about being a sex therapist

393
00:25:43,276 --> 00:25:45,278
until you know Jack and Dina better.

394
00:25:45,361 --> 00:25:47,530
I'll be discreet.
I put all my toys away.

395
00:25:47,613 --> 00:25:50,408
- My office is all ready for them.
- Your office? No.

396
00:25:50,491 --> 00:25:53,578
- They're going upstairs.
- They'll be comfortable.

397
00:25:53,661 --> 00:25:55,663
The plumbing, you don't wanna know.

398
00:25:55,746 --> 00:25:59,333
Talk about something important.
How are things with you and Pam?

399
00:25:59,417 --> 00:26:01,294
- They're great.
- They're great?

400
00:26:01,377 --> 00:26:03,504
You have to work to keep things going.

401
00:26:03,588 --> 00:26:05,965
Does she still climax regularly?

402
00:26:06,048 --> 00:26:08,676
Mom, you can't talk that way
this weekend, OK?

403
00:26:08,759 --> 00:26:11,721
Honey, I didn't raise you
to be a so-so lover.

404
00:26:11,804 --> 00:26:13,806
- What is he doing?
- What?

405
00:26:13,890 --> 00:26:16,101
Don't worry about that.

406
00:26:16,184 --> 00:26:19,605
Mom, you've got to get these people
out of here.

407
00:26:20,647 --> 00:26:23,817
Wipe that little gloss off you. OK.

408
00:26:24,443 --> 00:26:26,028
- They converted it.
- You hunt deer?

409
00:26:26,111 --> 00:26:28,864
No, I hate that thing.
Roz's father gave it to us.

410
00:26:28,947 --> 00:26:32,868
He was into all that
macho-wacho crap.

411
00:26:32,951 --> 00:26:35,495
So is Greg.
He and I went duck hunting together.

412
00:26:36,163 --> 00:26:38,832
- Duck hunting. Me and you.
- Duck hunting. Yeah.

413
00:26:38,916 --> 00:26:42,794
What? Gay?
You went duck hunting with Jack?

414
00:26:42,878 --> 00:26:46,131
Yeah. We went on a little hunting trip.

415
00:26:46,214 --> 00:26:50,511
- You shot a duck.
- I shot at a duck.

416
00:26:50,595 --> 00:26:52,972
You killed an innocent
creature of the sky?

417
00:26:53,056 --> 00:26:56,559
Did I?
I think I might have clipped it or...

418
00:26:56,643 --> 00:26:58,770
Never really checked.

419
00:27:26,423 --> 00:27:27,800
Oh, Lord.

420
00:27:27,883 --> 00:27:31,553
And now for
the pièce de résistance...

421
00:27:33,180 --> 00:27:37,017
- My goodness.
- Something I'm working on.

422
00:27:37,101 --> 00:27:39,478
I see.

423
00:27:40,980 --> 00:27:43,190
Mom'll be in in a sec.
What's that?

424
00:27:43,274 --> 00:27:45,901
It's you.
It's the Wall of Gaylord.

425
00:27:45,985 --> 00:27:48,195
The Wall of Gaylord?

426
00:27:48,279 --> 00:27:51,365
Isn't it nice to finally display
your accomplishments?

427
00:27:51,448 --> 00:27:53,909
Look at all your awards.
That's great.

428
00:27:53,993 --> 00:27:55,619
He's my champion.

429
00:27:55,703 --> 00:27:58,289
I didn't know they made
ninth place ribbons.

430
00:27:58,372 --> 00:28:00,874
They got 'em all the way up
to tenth place.

431
00:28:00,958 --> 00:28:03,419
Anybody want to get a drink
out by the lagoon?

432
00:28:03,502 --> 00:28:05,170
This one looks impressive.

433
00:28:05,254 --> 00:28:08,966
"Mazel tov, Gaylord M Focker:
World's Greatest Nurse."

434
00:28:10,175 --> 00:28:11,427
Very nice.

435
00:28:11,510 --> 00:28:14,179
We have tried to instil
a sense of self in Gaylord

436
00:28:14,263 --> 00:28:16,807
- without being too goal-oriented.
- Be nice.

437
00:28:16,890 --> 00:28:20,686
It's not about winning or losing.
It's about passion.

438
00:28:20,769 --> 00:28:24,815
We just wanted him to love
what he's doing. Know what I mean?

439
00:28:24,899 --> 00:28:28,777
Not really, Bernard. I think
a competitive drive is the essential key

440
00:28:28,861 --> 00:28:32,073
that makes America
the only remaining superpower today.

441
00:28:33,617 --> 00:28:35,994
Well, whatever works.

442
00:28:36,077 --> 00:28:39,581
- Don't forget the positions.
- Bye. You're a lifesaver.

443
00:28:39,664 --> 00:28:41,583
Thank you, BJ. Goodbye, Sidelle.

444
00:28:41,666 --> 00:28:44,836
Ira, easy on the thrusting.
You're not 78 any more.

445
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:49,174
What kind of work does
your mother do with those patients?

446
00:28:49,257 --> 00:28:52,302
Those look like yoga mats.
Is there yoga involved?

447
00:28:52,385 --> 00:28:56,848
It's yoga-esque.
It's sort of a couples therapy.

448
00:28:56,932 --> 00:28:59,768
Kind of mind/body.
It's kind of her own sort of...

449
00:28:59,851 --> 00:29:02,270
Rozala. Sweetheart. Living room.

450
00:29:03,146 --> 00:29:05,316
Hello. Hello, hello.

451
00:29:05,399 --> 00:29:09,070
How are you, baby girl?
Oh, my God.

452
00:29:09,153 --> 00:29:11,572
- Look at you, you're glowing.
- Thank you.

453
00:29:11,656 --> 00:29:15,785
Hi. I'm Roz Focker.
You must be Jack.

454
00:29:15,868 --> 00:29:18,204
- And you must be Dina.
- Hi.

455
00:29:18,287 --> 00:29:21,874
I can't believe
it's taken us this long to meet.

456
00:29:21,958 --> 00:29:25,503
- And who's this little hairball?
- Their grandson, Baby Jack.

457
00:29:25,586 --> 00:29:28,214
He's so adorable.
I could eat him up.

458
00:29:28,297 --> 00:29:31,008
Bern, did you show them
where they're sleeping?

459
00:29:31,092 --> 00:29:33,302
Right. We don't have air-conditioning,

460
00:29:33,386 --> 00:29:35,763
so I made a nice spot for you
in Roz's office

461
00:29:35,846 --> 00:29:39,184
cos it gets a breeze and
it's near the communal commode.

462
00:29:39,268 --> 00:29:42,229
Actually, we're gonna stay
in our motor home.

463
00:29:42,312 --> 00:29:44,481
In the trailer? Come on, Jack.

464
00:29:44,565 --> 00:29:47,484
We're family.
We sleep under the same roof.

465
00:29:47,568 --> 00:29:50,237
Mom's office is cluttered,
so that works out.

466
00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:53,782
It's really easier with Little Jack.
No, really, we insist.

467
00:29:53,865 --> 00:29:56,702
If they want to sleep
in a trailer, let them.

468
00:29:56,785 --> 00:30:00,122
Mom, it's not a trailer.
It's like a hotel on wheels.

469
00:30:00,205 --> 00:30:02,916
- It's incredible.
- This is practically a hotel.

470
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:06,295
I'd do a turndown service
with chocolates under the pillow.

471
00:30:06,378 --> 00:30:08,171
Wherever you feel comfortable.

472
00:30:08,255 --> 00:30:10,215
- It's not right.
- Let it go.

473
00:30:10,299 --> 00:30:13,343
- Let it go? Fine.
- Yeah, let it go.

474
00:30:13,427 --> 00:30:16,346
Are you sulking? Look at this.
I married a teenager.

475
00:30:16,430 --> 00:30:19,224
Right? At least you have
the libido of a teenager.

476
00:30:19,308 --> 00:30:24,021
- I gave her a little matinee today.
- Don't you dare. Stop it.

477
00:30:24,104 --> 00:30:26,106
How about a double feature?

478
00:30:27,149 --> 00:30:28,483
Come on.

479
00:30:28,567 --> 00:30:31,403
The lagoon.
Why don't we show them the lagoon?

480
00:30:31,486 --> 00:30:34,823
- The lagoon. Come see the lagoon.
- Jack, come on, come on.

481
00:30:34,907 --> 00:30:37,576
We'll get drunk.
We'll take a piss in the lagoon.

482
00:30:37,659 --> 00:30:40,704
Roz, take them outside
and show them around.

483
00:30:40,787 --> 00:30:42,080
I'll make the drinks.

484
00:30:49,547 --> 00:30:51,382
Oh, God.

485
00:30:52,342 --> 00:30:55,011
- Hey, Dad.
- It's going good, right?

486
00:30:55,094 --> 00:30:57,263
You gotta take down that weird shrine.

487
00:30:57,347 --> 00:31:00,224
I'm very proud of you.
What's wrong with showing it?

488
00:31:00,308 --> 00:31:03,645
It's ridiculous.
Most people aren't proud of sixth place.

489
00:31:03,728 --> 00:31:06,397
Since when do you care
about most people?

490
00:31:06,481 --> 00:31:11,361
I don't. But Jack is really into
winning and competition and sports.

491
00:31:11,444 --> 00:31:16,491
- It's a whole other thing with him.
- You're a winner up here and in here.

492
00:31:16,574 --> 00:31:18,159
That's all that matters.

493
00:31:18,243 --> 00:31:21,580
OK. Thank you. I don't know
what that means, but thank you.

494
00:31:22,248 --> 00:31:26,293
To solve that problem
I created a lifelike latex left breast

495
00:31:26,377 --> 00:31:28,587
moulded from his mother's
left breast,

496
00:31:28,671 --> 00:31:31,507
so this way LJ will avoid
any nipple confusion.

497
00:31:31,590 --> 00:31:36,011
You're avoiding confusion
by strapping a boob on a man?

498
00:31:36,095 --> 00:31:38,180
Believe it or not,
it is less confusing

499
00:31:38,264 --> 00:31:42,101
because of the texture
of the breast itself.

500
00:31:43,143 --> 00:31:47,189
I guess it's very creative.
It's very creative.

501
00:31:49,525 --> 00:31:51,443
A little birdie told me

502
00:31:51,527 --> 00:31:56,408
that one of our guests here
is a Tom Collins man.

503
00:31:56,491 --> 00:32:00,203
For pity's sake.
Isn't that nice, Jack?

504
00:32:00,287 --> 00:32:01,621
That is nice. Thank you.

505
00:32:01,705 --> 00:32:05,000
Don't drink.
I wanna make a toast.

506
00:32:06,918 --> 00:32:10,380
Now. I had a vasectomy in 1974.

507
00:32:10,463 --> 00:32:12,591
- '73, honey.
- You're right. '73.

508
00:32:12,674 --> 00:32:15,302
So I never had a chance
to procreate a daughter.

509
00:32:15,385 --> 00:32:18,555
But had I been able to,
I really would have wanted

510
00:32:18,638 --> 00:32:21,766
a girl as sensitive
and as intelligent

511
00:32:21,850 --> 00:32:25,395
and as beautiful
as this young lady

512
00:32:25,478 --> 00:32:29,024
- sitting right here before us.
- Thank you, Bernie.

513
00:32:29,107 --> 00:32:32,027
- And she's not an accident...
- Greg.

514
00:32:32,110 --> 00:32:34,154
- Yeah?
- I thought you had a sister.

515
00:32:35,113 --> 00:32:36,823
Nope. No sister.

516
00:32:36,907 --> 00:32:40,869
You said you had a sister.
You said you milked your sister's cat.

517
00:32:45,707 --> 00:32:47,334
OK, I'm not done yet.

518
00:32:47,417 --> 00:32:51,338
What I'm trying to say is,
it's taken far too long to do this.

519
00:32:51,421 --> 00:32:54,382
You know.
But we're finally all together.

520
00:32:55,091 --> 00:32:57,093
That's nice, honey.

521
00:32:57,177 --> 00:32:59,179
Oh, thank you.

522
00:33:00,472 --> 00:33:02,224
All right. That's enough.

523
00:33:02,308 --> 00:33:05,019
- L'Chaim, everyone.
- L'Chaim.

524
00:33:06,604 --> 00:33:09,273
Like you have popcorn
stuck in the throat.

525
00:33:09,357 --> 00:33:14,195
- OK. To family.
- Family.

526
00:33:14,278 --> 00:33:17,490
I forgot. I want to say
one more thing about my vasectomy.

527
00:33:17,573 --> 00:33:21,077
Sit down.
Honey, get yourself over here.

528
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:23,746
- I went overboard?
- A little bit, honey.

529
00:33:23,829 --> 00:33:26,540
But you're so cute
they'd forgive you anything.

530
00:33:26,624 --> 00:33:31,629
God, you're so beautiful.
You are the sexiest woman alive.

531
00:33:31,712 --> 00:33:34,131
You're just trying
to get me back into bed.

532
00:33:34,215 --> 00:33:35,550
Or the hammock.

533
00:33:35,634 --> 00:33:37,886
This is a delicious Tom Collins.

534
00:33:37,970 --> 00:33:41,974
I use real lemon juice.
It's from our trees. That's the secret.

535
00:33:42,057 --> 00:33:43,934
He was squeezing all afternoon.

536
00:33:44,017 --> 00:33:48,355
Yeah. And, Jack, I managed
to make some lemon juice, too.

537
00:33:51,441 --> 00:33:54,194
- Gay. Are you all right?
- Are you OK, honey?

538
00:34:01,243 --> 00:34:05,998
I think that Roz and Bernie
seem like very nice people.

539
00:34:06,081 --> 00:34:10,253
Very nice.
A little off-colour, but very nice.

540
00:34:10,336 --> 00:34:15,174
But isn't it wonderful? After all this,
the kids are finally getting married.

541
00:34:15,258 --> 00:34:18,636
- I feel so happy.
- Wait, I think he just spoke.

542
00:34:18,720 --> 00:34:21,347
Little Jack.
Were you about to speak?

543
00:34:24,642 --> 00:34:27,478
No. Just a little flatulence.
What were you saying?

544
00:34:27,562 --> 00:34:30,023
Nothing, dear.

545
00:34:30,773 --> 00:34:32,567
- Guys.
- What?

546
00:34:32,650 --> 00:34:35,987
- Where are you going?
- Checking out Jack's macho trailer.

547
00:34:36,070 --> 00:34:39,616
- I want to see that boob.
- Could I talk to you for a second?

548
00:34:39,699 --> 00:34:42,076
Don't let Moses go in there.
They have a cat.

549
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:44,871
Moses is perfectly trained.
What boob?

550
00:34:44,954 --> 00:34:47,540
- He humps everything.
- He's like his father.

551
00:34:47,624 --> 00:34:50,793
- I never cheated on you.
- They're not listening to me.

552
00:34:53,588 --> 00:34:57,133
- What's up?
- They're getting along really well.

553
00:34:57,216 --> 00:35:00,053
Yeah, they are.
I feel bad that I worried so much.

554
00:35:00,136 --> 00:35:01,763
Yeah. It's OK.

555
00:35:01,846 --> 00:35:03,306
What's going on?

556
00:35:04,474 --> 00:35:07,101
- I'm pregnant.
- You're pregnant?

557
00:35:07,936 --> 00:35:09,854
I'm two weeks late, nauseous,

558
00:35:09,938 --> 00:35:12,232
my boobs hurt
and I can smell everything.

559
00:35:12,315 --> 00:35:15,151
- You're gonna have a baby.
- A baby, yeah.

560
00:35:15,235 --> 00:35:18,280
- We're gonna have a little baby.
- A baby. I'm pregnant.

561
00:35:22,534 --> 00:35:24,536
Yeah.

562
00:35:25,871 --> 00:35:27,414
Oh, shit.

563
00:35:28,916 --> 00:35:31,335
You realize your father's
going to kill me.

564
00:35:32,711 --> 00:35:36,090
No. He's not gonna find out,
because we're not gonna tell him.

565
00:35:36,173 --> 00:35:38,634
No. Come on.
He's a human lie detector.

566
00:35:38,717 --> 00:35:42,429
- He lives to sniff out stuff like this.
- We'll get through tomorrow

567
00:35:42,513 --> 00:35:46,517
and we'll tell them on Sunday
before we go.

568
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:48,936
I just hate keeping secrets
from your dad.

569
00:35:49,019 --> 00:35:51,273
It's just one little secret.

570
00:35:52,107 --> 00:35:53,567
Oh, hi, neighbours.

571
00:35:53,650 --> 00:35:55,902
- Hello.
- The Fockers, honey.

572
00:35:55,986 --> 00:35:59,447
- Fancy-schmancy.
- Welcome to the chateau.

573
00:35:59,531 --> 00:36:02,701
No wonder they don't
want to sleep in our shitbox.

574
00:36:04,202 --> 00:36:06,288
I don't think the dog
is a good idea.

575
00:36:06,371 --> 00:36:08,748
Moses is more of a lover
than a fighter.

576
00:36:08,832 --> 00:36:10,750
- Jinx.
- Moses.

577
00:36:10,834 --> 00:36:14,462
He's always dreamed of me
having a white wedding. He'll be upset.

578
00:36:14,546 --> 00:36:15,589
I know.

579
00:36:15,672 --> 00:36:17,299
Moses.

580
00:36:18,049 --> 00:36:19,593
- Jinxy.
- Moses.

581
00:36:19,676 --> 00:36:21,636
I told you to keep him
out of the RV.

582
00:36:21,720 --> 00:36:23,723
- He wanted to see it.
- Dad.

583
00:36:23,806 --> 00:36:25,391
Moses. Moses.

584
00:36:25,474 --> 00:36:28,144
Get that goddamn dog out of here.

585
00:36:30,730 --> 00:36:32,064
Mo...

586
00:36:33,065 --> 00:36:35,151
- Oh, God.
- Dad.

587
00:36:36,319 --> 00:36:37,987
- Whoa.
- Jinx.

588
00:36:38,070 --> 00:36:41,073
- Jinx, don't do it.
- Jinxy, no.

589
00:36:41,157 --> 00:36:43,409
No.

590
00:36:43,492 --> 00:36:46,287
Jesus. Moses. Hold on.

591
00:36:50,458 --> 00:36:52,084
Moses, hold on, I'll save you.

592
00:36:52,168 --> 00:36:53,961
The cat can flush?

593
00:36:54,045 --> 00:36:56,047
Oh, my God.

594
00:36:56,130 --> 00:36:58,883
- It's OK.
- Get out of the way.

595
00:36:58,966 --> 00:37:01,218
- That's my toilet.
- I have to get my dog.

596
00:37:01,302 --> 00:37:03,137
What about my toilet?

597
00:37:04,138 --> 00:37:06,557
Moses.

598
00:37:09,393 --> 00:37:11,020
Greg, grab the baby.

599
00:37:21,489 --> 00:37:22,990
He's alive.

600
00:37:24,325 --> 00:37:27,912
He's fine. So much for the protection
of our rolling safe house.

601
00:37:27,995 --> 00:37:30,207
Oh, honey,
he was trying to save his pet.

602
00:37:30,290 --> 00:37:34,211
I mean, what if it was Jinxy
who got flushed into a toilet?

603
00:37:34,294 --> 00:37:38,674
Mr Jinx has had aquatic training.
He would have known exactly what to do.

604
00:37:43,637 --> 00:37:46,348
20-minute warning
for dinner, guys.

605
00:37:46,431 --> 00:37:49,142
Sorry about the trailer, Jack.

606
00:37:49,226 --> 00:37:51,061
Muskrat.

607
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:55,482
It's OK, Bernard.

608
00:37:56,984 --> 00:38:00,237
- We're not telling your father.
- That's what I was saying.

609
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:02,698
- What do you want to do?
- I'm not sure.

610
00:38:02,781 --> 00:38:05,535
I thought we'd be married
before we got pregnant.

611
00:38:05,618 --> 00:38:08,246
- Hey.
- What?

612
00:38:08,329 --> 00:38:11,541
What if we move the wedding
up to next month?

613
00:38:11,624 --> 00:38:14,669
Then we tell your dad you got
pregnant on the honeymoon.

614
00:38:14,752 --> 00:38:16,921
Oh, my God.
Yeah, that could work.

615
00:38:17,005 --> 00:38:18,673
- It's perfect, right?
- Yeah.

616
00:38:18,756 --> 00:38:22,594
- OK, good, just follow my lead.
- OK.

617
00:38:23,928 --> 00:38:28,391
Without further ado,
my famous Focker fondue.

618
00:38:28,474 --> 00:38:30,602
Go on. Dig in.
Get it while it's hot.

619
00:38:30,685 --> 00:38:34,022
That is so impressive, Bernie.
Did you do that yourself?

620
00:38:34,105 --> 00:38:35,815
Sure. I love to cook.

621
00:38:35,898 --> 00:38:38,903
I can't even fry an egg.
I burn cornflakes.

622
00:38:39,737 --> 00:38:43,407
I'm amazed he finds time to cook
with such a high-powered career.

623
00:38:43,490 --> 00:38:46,285
High-powered?
I wouldn't exactly call it...

624
00:38:47,119 --> 00:38:49,914
- Why did you kick me?
- I kicked you because

625
00:38:49,997 --> 00:38:53,208
you're being modest
and you should tell people

626
00:38:53,292 --> 00:38:55,419
that you are a good lawyer.

627
00:38:55,502 --> 00:38:58,422
He's fought some big,
important legal battles.

628
00:38:58,505 --> 00:39:03,385
When Gay was born, I stopped practising
and became a stay-at-home dad.

629
00:39:03,469 --> 00:39:06,221
Believe me,
he won a trial or two in his day.

630
00:39:06,305 --> 00:39:09,642
- Extremely good trial lawyer.
- A regular Clarence Darrow.

631
00:39:09,725 --> 00:39:12,645
So Roz was the breadwinner
and you didn't have a job.

632
00:39:12,728 --> 00:39:14,271
- Dad...
- Honey.

633
00:39:14,355 --> 00:39:17,274
Come on. You could say
he had the hardest job.

634
00:39:17,358 --> 00:39:20,486
- He's just kidding.
- Of course. I'm... Yes.

635
00:39:20,569 --> 00:39:23,822
Why don't we jump into
the big Focker-Byrnes wedding?

636
00:39:23,906 --> 00:39:25,741
Yes. Good.

637
00:39:25,824 --> 00:39:28,285
I know we've mentioned
a fall wedding...

638
00:39:28,369 --> 00:39:30,412
Isabel?

639
00:39:32,373 --> 00:39:35,834
- Is that Isabel?
- Yes. Our former housekeeper.

640
00:39:35,918 --> 00:39:38,462
She has her own
catering business now.

641
00:39:38,545 --> 00:39:41,507
I asked her to come
and help Bernie in the kitchen.

642
00:39:41,590 --> 00:39:45,011
- You didn't say she was here.
- Gay had a monster crush on her.

643
00:39:45,095 --> 00:39:48,014
- Really?
- I didn't have a monster crush...

644
00:39:48,098 --> 00:39:50,183
- You didn't tell me.
- It's not true.

645
00:39:50,267 --> 00:39:54,479
Not true that I didn't catch you doing
a ba-ziga to her passport photo?

646
00:39:54,562 --> 00:39:57,983
- Honey, stop.
- I walk in the door...

647
00:39:58,066 --> 00:40:00,402
Where is he?
There's my baby.

648
00:40:06,700 --> 00:40:08,702
It's good to see you.

649
00:40:08,785 --> 00:40:12,622
- I haven't seen you in years.
- I know.

650
00:40:12,706 --> 00:40:16,626
Yes. You... Yeah, look at you.
You look...

651
00:40:16,710 --> 00:40:19,630
I know. I had a boob job.

652
00:40:19,714 --> 00:40:22,258
Yeah.

653
00:40:22,341 --> 00:40:25,428
Hey.
This is Dina and Jack Byrnes.

654
00:40:26,887 --> 00:40:28,681
Hi, Isabel.

655
00:40:28,764 --> 00:40:31,851
And this is Pam Byrnes,
my fiancée.

656
00:40:33,769 --> 00:40:35,730
Nice to meet you too.

657
00:40:35,813 --> 00:40:39,734
Not yet married
and already a little one?

658
00:40:40,359 --> 00:40:43,154
He is a handsome little Focker.

659
00:40:44,822 --> 00:40:47,658
- No, he's not a Focker.
- No, he's not mine.

660
00:40:47,742 --> 00:40:51,287
You stayed to raise her child?
Good for you.

661
00:40:51,370 --> 00:40:55,125
He's Pam's nephew. He has
no connection to Greg whatsoever.

662
00:41:00,213 --> 00:41:02,466
I love you, too.

663
00:41:02,549 --> 00:41:04,551
He wants some milk.

664
00:41:05,469 --> 00:41:08,722
Little Jack, no.
Those aren't for you.

665
00:41:14,519 --> 00:41:17,397
- Mom.
- I think I'll take him inside.

666
00:41:17,481 --> 00:41:19,107
Good idea.

667
00:41:21,568 --> 00:41:24,112
You are a very lucky woman, Pam.

668
00:41:24,196 --> 00:41:27,199
He is very special, this one.

669
00:41:28,659 --> 00:41:32,246
- I think so too.
- I could tell you some stories.

670
00:41:32,329 --> 00:41:36,208
- Really?
- She's just being silly.

671
00:41:36,291 --> 00:41:39,336
- It was nice to meet you all.
- Nice to meet you.

672
00:41:39,419 --> 00:41:42,339
So sweet. Gosh. So sweet.

673
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:46,760
Do you guys want some more wine?

674
00:41:52,516 --> 00:41:54,184
You did good.

675
00:41:54,268 --> 00:41:59,064
- She's very pretty, this one.
- Yeah, she's really great.

676
00:41:59,147 --> 00:42:02,402
Can you believe
it's been 15 years?

677
00:42:04,112 --> 00:42:06,656
So many wonderful memories
from those days.

678
00:42:06,739 --> 00:42:12,912
Yes. Yes. A lot of wonderful,
kind of private, memories.

679
00:42:12,996 --> 00:42:17,333
So you never told
your fiancée about us?

680
00:42:17,417 --> 00:42:20,587
No, I don't think I did.
It never really came up.

681
00:42:20,670 --> 00:42:23,923
Not that I didn't want her to know,
it just never really...

682
00:42:24,007 --> 00:42:28,428
Not that it wasn't great.
It was really... For me, it...

683
00:42:28,511 --> 00:42:31,848
And you were so helpful.

684
00:42:31,931 --> 00:42:34,476
Don't worry,
your secret's safe with me.

685
00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:36,645
OK. There's no secrets.

686
00:42:36,729 --> 00:42:39,481
But good.
Yeah, maybe keep it quiet this weekend.

687
00:42:39,565 --> 00:42:41,775
I don't want Pam to feel uncomfortable.

688
00:42:41,859 --> 00:42:44,862
And then later,
when it's the proper setting...

689
00:42:44,945 --> 00:42:46,572
OK. Yeah. Good.

690
00:42:47,573 --> 00:42:48,866
Good.

691
00:42:48,949 --> 00:42:52,161
And the fondue. It's going over.

692
00:42:52,244 --> 00:42:53,829
Gay, you're just in time

693
00:42:53,913 --> 00:42:57,041
to hear me tell
how you lost your virginity to Isabel.

694
00:42:58,792 --> 00:43:01,462
He was 19. A late bloomer.

695
00:43:03,047 --> 00:43:04,882
You slept with Isabel?

696
00:43:04,965 --> 00:43:06,926
We were relieved.

697
00:43:07,009 --> 00:43:11,181
- Why would you bring that up?
- What? It was 15 years ago.

698
00:43:11,264 --> 00:43:15,685
Your father thought it would be fun
to share stories about our first time.

699
00:43:15,769 --> 00:43:20,231
- Really? That sounds like fun.
- It's fine.

700
00:43:20,315 --> 00:43:22,859
Tell how you poppity-popped
your cherry.

701
00:43:22,943 --> 00:43:25,987
I don't feel comfortable
discussing that with you.

702
00:43:26,071 --> 00:43:28,531
Let's get back
to talking about the wedding.

703
00:43:28,615 --> 00:43:30,784
- Yeah.
- Thank you.

704
00:43:32,077 --> 00:43:35,413
What... Didn't you just take
Little Jack back to the room?

705
00:43:35,497 --> 00:43:39,709
I'm monitoring him from
a microphone planted in his crib.

706
00:43:40,627 --> 00:43:45,048
Baby monitors, hidden cameras.
Whatever happened to privacy?

707
00:43:45,131 --> 00:43:47,884
Surveillance technology
protects the freedoms

708
00:43:47,968 --> 00:43:50,178
we Americans take advantage of today.

709
00:43:53,890 --> 00:43:56,476
He's right. It has been good.

710
00:43:58,645 --> 00:44:00,855
Son, that is bullcrap
in a chef's salad.

711
00:44:00,939 --> 00:44:03,650
Jack, tell me one smart thing
the CLIA has done,

712
00:44:03,733 --> 00:44:06,403
I will give you the deed
to her house.

713
00:44:06,486 --> 00:44:07,654
The CLIA?

714
00:44:07,737 --> 00:44:10,490
The Central Lack
of Intelligence Agency.

715
00:44:19,667 --> 00:44:23,629
That baby might need a pull
on that knocker of yours, Jack.

716
00:44:26,424 --> 00:44:28,259
It's OK.
We're Ferberizing him.

717
00:44:28,342 --> 00:44:29,927
- What?
- The Ferber method.

718
00:44:30,011 --> 00:44:33,055
You let him cry it out
so he doesn't depend on coddling.

719
00:44:33,139 --> 00:44:35,266
And yet, the Continuum Concept

720
00:44:35,349 --> 00:44:40,062
shows that a baby benefits more
from constant physical contact.

721
00:44:41,105 --> 00:44:44,108
- We use the Ferber method.
- We used the Focker method.

722
00:44:44,692 --> 00:44:48,321
We hugged and kissed our little prince
like there was no tomorrow.

723
00:44:48,405 --> 00:44:50,532
We Fockerised him.

724
00:44:50,616 --> 00:44:54,202
That's right.
Greggy slept in our bed till he was ten.

725
00:44:54,286 --> 00:44:56,997
- Oh, my God.
- It wasn't quite that long.

726
00:44:57,080 --> 00:44:58,832
- Yes, it was.
- I wasn't ten.

727
00:44:58,916 --> 00:45:01,919
- Nine and a half at least.
- Mom, I don't think so.

728
00:45:02,002 --> 00:45:04,463
I didn't sleep in their bed
till I was ten.

729
00:45:04,546 --> 00:45:07,507
- Get the photo album.
- I'm one step ahead of you.

730
00:45:07,591 --> 00:45:10,177
No, we're eating dinner. Come on.

731
00:45:11,219 --> 00:45:14,598
These are the curls
from his first trip to the barber shop.

732
00:45:14,681 --> 00:45:16,642
Nobody wants to see this.

733
00:45:16,725 --> 00:45:20,270
- Show Jack.
- Look at all those little teeth.

734
00:45:20,354 --> 00:45:24,901
Isn't that sweet?
Somebody looks very grumpy there.

735
00:45:24,984 --> 00:45:27,612
- That's Gay with the mohel.
- The mohel?

736
00:45:27,695 --> 00:45:30,949
He's the man who snips
the baby's little winky-dink.

737
00:45:31,032 --> 00:45:33,826
That's Greg getting circumcised,
right here.

738
00:45:33,910 --> 00:45:35,995
The ceremony was at my parents'.

739
00:45:36,079 --> 00:45:38,122
There was a cold snap...
Tell it.

740
00:45:38,206 --> 00:45:40,917
The heater conked out
so no matter how he tried,

741
00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:45,004
the mohel couldn't coax
Greggy's tiny turtle from its shell.

742
00:45:45,088 --> 00:45:48,716
Let's not talk about
the tiny turtle, OK? This is dinner.

743
00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:51,594
Honey, half the people
at this table have penises.

744
00:45:51,678 --> 00:45:55,098
- Mom, control yourself.
- Roz, he's right.

745
00:45:55,181 --> 00:45:57,475
- You're embarrassing him.
- I'm sorry.

746
00:45:57,558 --> 00:46:00,937
To make a long story short,
he wound up with a semi-circ.

747
00:46:03,773 --> 00:46:06,234
- What's that?
- I can't wait to hear this.

748
00:46:06,317 --> 00:46:10,571
- A cross between an anteater...
- And a German army helmet.

749
00:46:14,576 --> 00:46:19,122
But, honey, you wanted to talk
about the wedding, right?

750
00:46:20,832 --> 00:46:23,543
Don't tell me
you kept his umbilical cord.

751
00:46:23,626 --> 00:46:26,087
Of course not.
That's Greg's foreskin.

752
00:46:27,755 --> 00:46:29,466
That's it. That's enough.

753
00:46:29,550 --> 00:46:32,428
- Come on. We're having fun.
- We're not having fun.

754
00:46:32,511 --> 00:46:35,347
- Why deny us our memories?
- Because we're done.

755
00:46:42,354 --> 00:46:45,566
Anyone in the mood for a Chinese?

756
00:46:47,693 --> 00:46:50,863
You told me your first time
was with a Danish transfer student.

757
00:46:50,946 --> 00:46:53,907
You weren't upfront
about your engagement to Kevin.

758
00:46:53,991 --> 00:46:57,536
- Well, he wasn't my baby-sitter.
- OK, I should have told you.

759
00:46:57,620 --> 00:46:59,413
Can we just let it go, please?

760
00:46:59,496 --> 00:47:02,541
We've both got enough stuff
to deal with this weekend.

761
00:47:07,422 --> 00:47:10,175
- Oh. Hi, Jack.
- Hello, Greg.

762
00:47:10,258 --> 00:47:13,637
- Funny dinner, huh?
- How do you mean?

763
00:47:13,720 --> 00:47:16,556
You're studying my family
like the frozen caveman.

764
00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:19,059
So I just don't want you
to be worried, OK?

765
00:47:19,142 --> 00:47:23,063
They're a little quirky
but they're really well-intentioned.

766
00:47:23,146 --> 00:47:26,316
- I think they were just nervous.
- Greg.

767
00:47:26,399 --> 00:47:28,193
Tomorrow will be better.

768
00:47:28,276 --> 00:47:31,237
Sorry, ma'am.
I thought you ordered room service.

769
00:47:31,321 --> 00:47:35,158
Are you sure you don't want any
whipped cream with your sundae?

770
00:47:35,241 --> 00:47:37,370
- Bern, stop it.
- Who's Bern?

771
00:47:37,453 --> 00:47:40,456
- I'm Chad the bellhop.
- Oh, no. We did that last week.

772
00:47:40,539 --> 00:47:42,416
Be Sam the carpet-cleaning man.

773
00:47:42,500 --> 00:47:45,294
Why would a carpet cleaner
have whipped cream?

774
00:47:45,378 --> 00:47:46,712
Improvise, honey.

775
00:47:46,796 --> 00:47:49,632
Evening, Miss,
I'm here to clean your carpet.

776
00:47:51,133 --> 00:47:53,970
Do you mind if I put some foam
down on your rug?

777
00:47:54,053 --> 00:47:55,596
I don't mind at all.

778
00:47:55,680 --> 00:47:57,598
- Good night, Greg.
- Sleep well.

779
00:47:57,682 --> 00:48:00,101
How long have you worked at this hotel?

780
00:48:00,184 --> 00:48:03,437
It's time to put some snow
on your mountains.

781
00:48:03,521 --> 00:48:06,065
Get some whipped cream
on those Tetons.

782
00:48:07,900 --> 00:48:10,027
- Guys.
- Come back in the morning.

783
00:48:10,111 --> 00:48:12,655
Gay, see the cowboy hat on the door?

784
00:48:12,738 --> 00:48:15,449
Hat is off the door.
No cowboy hat this weekend.

785
00:48:15,533 --> 00:48:18,119
I'm coming in,
so stop doing what you're doing.

786
00:48:18,202 --> 00:48:21,455
Look, I was talking to... Oh, no.

787
00:48:21,539 --> 00:48:24,041
You know what
that cowboy hat means.

788
00:48:24,125 --> 00:48:28,129
- Please help me out here.
- What? We're just being ourselves.

789
00:48:28,212 --> 00:48:30,464
- Mom, please...
- He's saying not to be.

790
00:48:30,548 --> 00:48:32,925
Be yourselves,
but be yourselves in a way

791
00:48:33,009 --> 00:48:35,720
that's a little less
than being your full selves.

792
00:48:35,803 --> 00:48:39,140
I don't understand this.
Why are you so afraid of Jack?

793
00:48:39,223 --> 00:48:41,517
You've kissed his ass
since you got here.

794
00:48:41,601 --> 00:48:43,477
I'm not afraid. That's not true.

795
00:48:43,561 --> 00:48:45,856
- It is.
- You went duck hunting with him.

796
00:48:45,939 --> 00:48:48,150
Our people don't shoot ducks.

797
00:48:48,233 --> 00:48:50,527
Just make Jack
feel more comfortable.

798
00:48:50,611 --> 00:48:52,529
You don't want us to be ourselves.

799
00:48:52,613 --> 00:48:55,949
I don't want you to break his RV
and say I had sex with Isabel

800
00:48:56,033 --> 00:49:00,162
and play weird sex games
that everybody can hear. Mom.

801
00:49:00,245 --> 00:49:04,166
If you ask me, it wouldn't be so bad
if your future in-laws heard this.

802
00:49:04,249 --> 00:49:08,211
Don't therapise the Byrneses
this weekend. At all. OK?

803
00:49:08,295 --> 00:49:11,214
A few minutes of concentrated work
with him and Dina,

804
00:49:11,298 --> 00:49:13,383
she'd get him to blow like Krakatoa.

805
00:49:13,467 --> 00:49:16,178
Right. OK. Yeah.
You know what?

806
00:49:16,261 --> 00:49:19,057
Just give me one day
without any complications.

807
00:49:19,140 --> 00:49:22,560
We get through it, everybody
goes off, we go on with our lives.

808
00:49:22,644 --> 00:49:24,854
- Can we do that?
- You got it, dude.

809
00:49:24,938 --> 00:49:27,148
- Thank you.
- Hon?

810
00:49:27,231 --> 00:49:29,275
- Put the hat back on the door.
- No.

811
00:49:29,359 --> 00:49:32,904
- No cowboy hat this weekend.
- But tonight doesn't count.

812
00:49:34,238 --> 00:49:36,908
- All aboard.
- My God, that tickles.

813
00:49:47,377 --> 00:49:49,337
Morning, partner.

814
00:49:51,464 --> 00:49:55,052
- Morning.
- Sleep OK?

815
00:49:55,135 --> 00:49:57,221
I slept all right, thank you.

816
00:50:03,602 --> 00:50:06,772
It's nice all of us being here together,
don't you think?

817
00:50:08,065 --> 00:50:10,734
Bernard, do you mind
if I have some privacy?

818
00:50:10,818 --> 00:50:12,820
Almost done.

819
00:50:19,827 --> 00:50:23,163
Bernie, this frittata is wonderful.
What's in it?

820
00:50:23,247 --> 00:50:26,667
A lot of the taste comes from
this skillet. I never wash it.

821
00:50:26,750 --> 00:50:30,421
Hey, guys, can I have
everybody's attention, please?

822
00:50:30,504 --> 00:50:32,715
Gay, I'll be back in a sec.

823
00:50:32,798 --> 00:50:35,009
OK. Dad? All right.

824
00:50:35,843 --> 00:50:37,678
- So... Mom?
- Yeah.

825
00:50:37,761 --> 00:50:41,599
I know we've been talking about
having the wedding in October,

826
00:50:41,682 --> 00:50:44,602
but Pam and I have been
playing around with some ideas

827
00:50:44,685 --> 00:50:47,187
and we're thinking
of moving it up to June.

828
00:50:47,271 --> 00:50:49,148
- Nice.
- This June?

829
00:50:49,231 --> 00:50:50,441
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

830
00:50:50,524 --> 00:50:53,068
That's... That's in a month.

831
00:50:53,152 --> 00:50:55,362
I always wanted a spring wedding.

832
00:50:55,446 --> 00:50:57,698
We can announce it
at the party tonight.

833
00:50:57,781 --> 00:50:59,618
- Good idea.
- Wait. What party?

834
00:50:59,701 --> 00:51:02,120
Jack, let's play football.

835
00:51:02,203 --> 00:51:05,332
Your father and I
are throwing an engagement soirée

836
00:51:05,415 --> 00:51:07,292
for you two lovebirds.

837
00:51:07,375 --> 00:51:10,045
Would you look at that punim?

838
00:51:10,128 --> 00:51:11,963
That's so sweet.
Thank you, guys.

839
00:51:12,047 --> 00:51:14,299
I thought we were having
a quiet dinner?

840
00:51:14,382 --> 00:51:18,553
- It was supposed to be a surprise.
- The list keeps growing.

841
00:51:18,637 --> 00:51:20,263
Now it's up to 50 Fockers.

842
00:51:20,347 --> 00:51:23,099
When were you going to tell us
about this?

843
00:51:23,183 --> 00:51:26,686
50 Fockers.
What could be better?

844
00:51:27,145 --> 00:51:29,230
What are you doing?
We never play football.

845
00:51:29,314 --> 00:51:31,191
Trying to cement relationships.

846
00:51:31,274 --> 00:51:33,277
Jack said he was into footie-ball.

847
00:51:33,361 --> 00:51:35,738
Let's show El Stiffo
how we play the game.

848
00:51:35,821 --> 00:51:38,532
- "Footie-ball"?
- Come on. Come on, let's play.

849
00:51:38,616 --> 00:51:41,619
I'm feeling tired.
I'll sit this out with Little Jack.

850
00:51:41,702 --> 00:51:43,955
- You want company?
- No, Dina.

851
00:51:44,038 --> 00:51:46,249
You and I
will take on Jack and Roz.

852
00:51:46,332 --> 00:51:49,335
Come on, Jack. It'll be fun.
We'll swap wives.

853
00:51:50,503 --> 00:51:53,673
Don't worry.
You'll get him back after the game.

854
00:51:53,756 --> 00:51:56,842
We'll play three on two
with somebody as quarterback.

855
00:51:56,926 --> 00:52:00,388
- Gay goes both ways.
- Oh, I bet he does.

856
00:52:02,181 --> 00:52:03,849
One. Two.

857
00:52:25,497 --> 00:52:27,583
- Huddle up.
- I want it down and in.

858
00:52:27,666 --> 00:52:31,503
Draw in the defence,
then you'll hit Roz here for a TD.

859
00:52:31,587 --> 00:52:34,256
What do you mean?
He hits me where with a what? Why?

860
00:52:34,339 --> 00:52:35,757
I'll throw it, you catch.

861
00:52:35,841 --> 00:52:39,553
- You want me to catch that thing?
- Yeah. On two. Ready?

862
00:52:39,636 --> 00:52:42,264
One. Two.

863
00:52:42,347 --> 00:52:43,932
Go, Mom, go.

864
00:52:44,016 --> 00:52:47,060
- This way.
- That way. That way.

865
00:52:48,979 --> 00:52:51,732
It's over. It's over.

866
00:52:51,815 --> 00:52:53,567
Your ass is mine.

867
00:52:53,650 --> 00:52:56,987
Remember that time in the park?
Remember the park?

868
00:52:57,070 --> 00:52:58,614
Guys, come on, cut it out.

869
00:52:58,697 --> 00:53:02,409
- I'm so proud of you.
- I caught the ball, honey.

870
00:53:02,492 --> 00:53:04,620
- Mom, come on.
- I caught the ball.

871
00:53:04,703 --> 00:53:06,997
- Huddle up.
- I'm bored.

872
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:09,458
Here. Dina, come on. Let's go.

873
00:53:09,541 --> 00:53:13,462
- You want a spritzer?
- What? Oh, a spritzer. Yummy.

874
00:53:13,545 --> 00:53:17,091
Dad, you've got to focus.
He's beating you down the field.

875
00:53:17,175 --> 00:53:19,302
- You want me to be macho-wacho?
- What?

876
00:53:19,385 --> 00:53:21,763
Have I ever said "macho-wacho" to you?

877
00:53:21,846 --> 00:53:25,433
I got it.
Gay, I won't disappoint you.

878
00:53:25,516 --> 00:53:28,019
OK, let's try again.
I want to stop and go.

879
00:53:28,102 --> 00:53:31,648
Fake the short pass and hit me
with a Hail Mary. Got that?

880
00:53:31,731 --> 00:53:34,609
Yeah. Do you want
to mix it up a little, or...

881
00:53:34,692 --> 00:53:38,404
No. I've exposed Bernie's weakness.
I want to take advantage of it.

882
00:53:38,488 --> 00:53:41,532
Exposed his weakness?
OK. All right. On four?

883
00:53:41,616 --> 00:53:43,117
Four.

884
00:53:54,088 --> 00:53:57,675
Just you and me, Jack.
Mano a mano.

885
00:53:57,758 --> 00:53:59,635
Think you can take me, Flower Man?

886
00:53:59,718 --> 00:54:02,554
Pretty sure I can, Mr Mom.

887
00:54:03,389 --> 00:54:05,182
You're going down, Byrnesy boy.

888
00:54:05,266 --> 00:54:07,351
I'm gonna rearrange your bouquet.

889
00:54:09,645 --> 00:54:12,898
Sell the pump-fake, Greg.
That Focker's gonna bite.

890
00:54:24,077 --> 00:54:26,913
One. Two. Three.

891
00:54:26,997 --> 00:54:28,999
Four.

892
00:54:55,942 --> 00:54:57,944
- Oh, God.
- Daddy, are you OK?

893
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:03,116
Shit. Jack, don't move.

894
00:55:04,784 --> 00:55:08,371
- Hey, Jack, are you OK?
- I'm fine, Greg. Thank you.

895
00:55:08,455 --> 00:55:12,542
I see that kind of injury all the time.
Let me give you a quick exam.

896
00:55:12,626 --> 00:55:17,881
No, I'm fine.
I'll have my doctor look at it at home.

897
00:55:18,590 --> 00:55:20,050
OK.

898
00:55:20,133 --> 00:55:23,470
It's amazing how your father
anticipated the pump-fake.

899
00:55:23,553 --> 00:55:27,599
It's almost like
he knew it was coming.

900
00:55:28,433 --> 00:55:33,230
Well, he definitely takes
competition seriously.

901
00:55:33,314 --> 00:55:35,733
How a man handles himself
on the field

902
00:55:35,816 --> 00:55:38,235
says a lot about his character.

903
00:55:38,319 --> 00:55:42,281
- Know what I mean?
- Yeah. OK.

904
00:55:46,077 --> 00:55:49,789
- Hey.
- Hey, we got him, didn't we, dude?

905
00:55:49,872 --> 00:55:52,249
- Was he impressed?
- No, Dad. He wasn't.

906
00:55:52,333 --> 00:55:54,877
That was a hard shot,
you could have hurt him.

907
00:55:54,961 --> 00:55:57,546
I just wanted it to be fun,
but you wanted to win

908
00:55:57,630 --> 00:55:59,882
so, you know,
you got me all steamed up.

909
00:55:59,966 --> 00:56:04,054
I asked you to play a little defence,
not turn it into a blood sport.

910
00:56:04,137 --> 00:56:06,515
I play too easy. I play too hard.

911
00:56:06,598 --> 00:56:10,352
- What are you asking me to do?
- I'm not asking anything of you, Dad.

912
00:56:10,435 --> 00:56:13,855
Just go down there and apologize.
He thinks it was a cheap shot.

913
00:56:13,939 --> 00:56:16,566
- Sure. OK. Whatever you say.
- OK.

914
00:56:19,695 --> 00:56:23,156
- I can't win with this kid.
- Honey, it's OK.

915
00:56:23,240 --> 00:56:25,325
- Hi, baby.
- Hey.

916
00:56:25,409 --> 00:56:27,327
So...

917
00:56:27,411 --> 00:56:30,289
- How far along is Pam?
- What?

918
00:56:30,372 --> 00:56:32,624
Come on,
I knew it the minute I saw her.

919
00:56:32,708 --> 00:56:36,629
Her boobs are bigger, she's hormonal,
no wine at dinner, no football.

920
00:56:37,338 --> 00:56:40,258
She just found out yesterday.

921
00:56:41,009 --> 00:56:44,345
Honey.
My bubeleh's gonna have a baby.

922
00:56:44,429 --> 00:56:47,181
My bubeleh's gonna be a father.
Oh, my God.

923
00:56:47,265 --> 00:56:50,059
Tell me. Talk to me.
This is so exciting.

924
00:56:50,143 --> 00:56:51,185
What?

925
00:56:51,269 --> 00:56:54,188
- You didn't tell Dad?
- Not yet. He's gonna plotz.

926
00:56:54,272 --> 00:56:56,107
- You can't tell him.
- Why not?

927
00:56:56,190 --> 00:56:59,902
Because he can't keep a secret.
Do you think Jack knows?

928
00:56:59,986 --> 00:57:03,865
That guy is in such denial,
he thinks his daughter's still a virgin.

929
00:57:03,948 --> 00:57:07,285
Pam doesn't want to tell him
till after the wedding.

930
00:57:07,368 --> 00:57:09,245
- That is ridiculous.
- It isn't.

931
00:57:09,329 --> 00:57:11,956
- You don't know him.
- Fine. My lips are sealed.

932
00:57:12,040 --> 00:57:15,376
I am so excited and thrilled for you.

933
00:57:15,960 --> 00:57:18,338
I'm so happy for you two.

934
00:57:19,505 --> 00:57:22,425
- Did you plan this?
- No, it just sorta happened.

935
00:57:22,508 --> 00:57:24,594
- How did it happen?
- How?

936
00:57:24,677 --> 00:57:26,971
It just happened.
You know how it happens.

937
00:57:27,055 --> 00:57:29,098
I mean, I'm not gonna go into details.

938
00:57:29,182 --> 00:57:31,434
- But, honey, I love details.
- Sorry.

939
00:57:31,517 --> 00:57:33,561
All right. OK.

940
00:57:33,645 --> 00:57:36,648
You know, honey,
many unplanned pregnancies happen

941
00:57:36,731 --> 00:57:40,234
because the man
is such a sexual dynamo

942
00:57:40,318 --> 00:57:42,570
and the woman craves his sperm

943
00:57:42,654 --> 00:57:45,783
on an unconscious
but very powerful level.

944
00:57:45,866 --> 00:57:48,786
I'm not comfortable
having this conversation.

945
00:57:48,869 --> 00:57:51,789
- No?
- I've said that since I was 11.

946
00:57:51,872 --> 00:57:55,042
- All right. Love you.
- Love you, too.

947
00:57:56,502 --> 00:57:58,921
Jack, what say you and me
go into town?

948
00:57:59,004 --> 00:58:03,592
- I got a guy who can fix your RV.
- I'm in far too much physical agony.

949
00:58:03,676 --> 00:58:07,513
I'm sorry. But it'll be good for you
to get out and about.

950
00:58:07,596 --> 00:58:10,975
Perfect. I can take the girls
shopping in Coconut Grove.

951
00:58:11,058 --> 00:58:13,811
Little Jack is on
a specific napping schedule.

952
00:58:13,894 --> 00:58:16,897
- I'd better stay here.
- No. Go.

953
00:58:16,981 --> 00:58:20,986
Greg can watch him.
He has wonderful parental instincts.

954
00:58:21,069 --> 00:58:24,322
Greg deals with little kids
in the E.R. All the time.

955
00:58:24,406 --> 00:58:27,158
They don't call me
Barry Poppins for nothing.

956
00:58:27,242 --> 00:58:29,286
That's funny.

957
00:58:29,369 --> 00:58:31,663
Why would someone
call you Barry Poppins?

958
00:58:35,917 --> 00:58:38,044
They wouldn't.

959
00:59:02,445 --> 00:59:05,323
Remember, Greg,
we're Ferberizing him,

960
00:59:05,406 --> 00:59:06,991
so unless it's an emergency,

961
00:59:07,074 --> 00:59:11,412
under no circumstances
should you pick him up when he cries.

962
00:59:11,495 --> 00:59:13,873
- OK.
- He's learning to self-soothe.

963
00:59:13,956 --> 00:59:16,542
That means no television,
no unapproved toys,

964
00:59:16,626 --> 00:59:19,921
and most of all, no monkey business
of any kind. Clear?

965
00:59:20,713 --> 00:59:22,131
No monkey business.

966
00:59:22,214 --> 00:59:25,843
- Jack. Shall we get a move on?
- I'm ready.

967
00:59:37,063 --> 00:59:39,649
I love this, Roz.
This is a great find.

968
00:59:39,732 --> 00:59:44,445
Oh, good. It's loose, so you can wear it
even if you gain a few pounds.

969
00:59:44,528 --> 00:59:46,572
Isn't that lovely?

970
00:59:46,656 --> 00:59:50,201
Honey, are you all right?
You look a little flushed.

971
00:59:50,284 --> 00:59:52,870
It's the heat.
It takes some getting used to.

972
00:59:52,954 --> 00:59:55,998
I'm fine, I'm gonna try this on.
Thank you, Roz.

973
00:59:56,082 --> 01:00:00,462
And now, madam. Let's find something
sexy for the mama to wear.

974
01:00:00,545 --> 01:00:02,547
Look at this little number.

975
01:00:02,631 --> 01:00:05,050
I think this'll get
Jack's blood flowing.

976
01:00:05,133 --> 01:00:07,219
Jack would have a coronary.

977
01:00:07,302 --> 01:00:09,221
I thought so.

978
01:00:09,304 --> 01:00:12,140
Oh, Dina. Talk to me.

979
01:00:12,224 --> 01:00:17,020
What's really going on with that man?
He seems very uptight.

980
01:00:17,104 --> 01:00:19,481
Jack's always been a little wound up.

981
01:00:19,564 --> 01:00:21,608
His job was very stressful.

982
01:00:21,692 --> 01:00:23,443
Being a florist is stressful?

983
01:00:23,527 --> 01:00:25,779
There's more to it than people think.

984
01:00:26,863 --> 01:00:30,117
If you don't mind me asking...
How's your sex life?

985
01:00:31,326 --> 01:00:33,329
I can't tell you that.

986
01:00:33,413 --> 01:00:35,748
What's the big deal?
I'm a professional.

987
01:00:35,832 --> 01:00:39,335
I'm a sex therapist
specializing in senior sexuality.

988
01:00:39,419 --> 01:00:41,671
I knew those weren't yoga mats.

989
01:00:41,754 --> 01:00:43,590
No.

990
01:00:43,673 --> 01:00:46,342
Well, we're not 25 anymore.

991
01:00:46,426 --> 01:00:48,136
You're not dead, either.

992
01:00:48,219 --> 01:00:50,930
Many couples our age
lack intimacy in marriage.

993
01:00:51,014 --> 01:00:54,601
I didn't say we weren't intimate.
There are special occasions.

994
01:00:54,684 --> 01:00:58,771
Anniversaries and...
Well, on our anniversary.

995
01:01:00,523 --> 01:01:02,525
- I beg your pardon?
- Not good.

996
01:01:02,609 --> 01:01:05,528
I think that I can help
you and Jack reconnect.

997
01:01:05,612 --> 01:01:06,864
How?

998
01:01:06,947 --> 01:01:11,744
Well, it all starts with
a little bit of,

999
01:01:11,827 --> 01:01:14,330
how shall I say, intimate contact.

1000
01:01:14,413 --> 01:01:17,124
Yeah? Oh, my. That tingles.

1001
01:01:17,207 --> 01:01:22,212
Every pleasure in the body
can be stimulated through the ears.

1002
01:01:22,296 --> 01:01:25,674
I would give it a shot
with Jack tonight.

1003
01:01:25,758 --> 01:01:29,553
- What's going on over here?
- Nothing. Just having some girl talk.

1004
01:01:30,512 --> 01:01:31,680
Roz.

1005
01:02:00,292 --> 01:02:02,461
OK. Here's the deal, LJ.

1006
01:02:02,544 --> 01:02:04,380
I'll give you some attention.

1007
01:02:04,463 --> 01:02:08,175
But you have to promise you don't tell
Grandpa Jack anything, OK?

1008
01:02:08,842 --> 01:02:10,844
All right. Good.

1009
01:02:13,013 --> 01:02:15,934
OK, I don't know what that means,
but I'll trust you.

1010
01:02:17,519 --> 01:02:21,189
All right. Here we go.
OK. OK.

1011
01:02:21,273 --> 01:02:23,275
It's OK.

1012
01:02:23,900 --> 01:02:26,444
A little huggy-wuggy
never hurt anybody.

1013
01:02:34,619 --> 01:02:39,582
I know we're not supposed to watch TV,
but we won't tell Grandpa Jack.

1014
01:02:39,666 --> 01:02:42,419
Oh, look. Look. It's Elmo.

1015
01:02:42,502 --> 01:02:44,713
Do you like fishes?

1016
01:02:44,796 --> 01:02:46,966
You don't like fishes? No.

1017
01:02:49,594 --> 01:02:51,762
OK. OK.

1018
01:02:59,895 --> 01:03:03,274
Hey. I got an idea. Let's see
what pre-approved genius toys

1019
01:03:03,357 --> 01:03:07,570
Grandpa Jack has
in his big basket of fun.

1020
01:03:07,653 --> 01:03:11,449
Oh, look. Look. It's a...
It's a... an abacus.

1021
01:03:11,532 --> 01:03:14,285
Abacuses aren't that much fun,
are they?

1022
01:03:14,368 --> 01:03:16,537
I don't know why
people think they are.

1023
01:03:16,621 --> 01:03:20,959
Look at this. Look.
It's bolts on a plank.

1024
01:03:21,460 --> 01:03:24,212
Fun bolts. No, not very fun.

1025
01:03:24,838 --> 01:03:26,798
Hey.

1026
01:03:28,342 --> 01:03:31,511
A little birdie. Look. He sings.

1027
01:03:31,595 --> 01:03:34,473
And if that mocking bird don't sing

1028
01:03:34,556 --> 01:03:38,602
Then Greg is gonna buy you
a diamond ring

1029
01:03:38,685 --> 01:03:42,773
And if that diamond ring gets sold

1030
01:03:42,856 --> 01:03:48,028
Greg's gonna feel like
a big asshole

1031
01:03:49,237 --> 01:03:52,074
Ass... hole.

1032
01:03:52,824 --> 01:03:56,620
No, no, you don't want to say that word.
No, that's a bad word.

1033
01:03:56,703 --> 01:03:59,539
- Ass... hole.
- No, no.

1034
01:04:02,876 --> 01:04:05,754
- I thought this was a repair shop.
- This is better.

1035
01:04:05,837 --> 01:04:09,341
That's Isabel's son, Jorge.
15 years old. He can fix anything.

1036
01:04:09,424 --> 01:04:11,426
Hey, Bernie.

1037
01:04:12,427 --> 01:04:14,054
Georgie-boy.

1038
01:04:14,137 --> 01:04:17,599
So, I think you got a tear
in the bilateral valve.

1039
01:04:17,683 --> 01:04:20,435
- 15, huh?
- Genius.

1040
01:04:22,396 --> 01:04:27,234
Jorge, no more tinkering until
you finish your science homework.

1041
01:04:28,987 --> 01:04:34,534
I was gonna finish it,
but Mr Gerson is out with rickets.

1042
01:04:34,617 --> 01:04:39,914
He said definitely don't do it
until his rickets are cured, and...

1043
01:04:41,249 --> 01:04:43,710
Who knows if he's ever
telling the truth?

1044
01:04:43,793 --> 01:04:45,086
Bernie?

1045
01:04:46,296 --> 01:04:48,381
I made chimichangas.
You guys want?

1046
01:04:48,464 --> 01:04:51,092
Have you ever known me
to turn down a chimi?

1047
01:04:51,175 --> 01:04:54,178
- Jack, you in the mood, amigo?
- No, thanks.

1048
01:04:57,599 --> 01:05:01,269
Why are you looking at me funny?
I said I...

1049
01:05:01,352 --> 01:05:04,565
No, you just look like somebody I know.

1050
01:05:05,774 --> 01:05:08,277
No, no, no. Tadpole. Tadpole.

1051
01:05:08,360 --> 01:05:12,698
- Can you say tadpole?
- Ass... hole.

1052
01:05:12,781 --> 01:05:15,409
Jack's mole.
Jack has a big mole on his face.

1053
01:05:15,492 --> 01:05:19,038
- Is your father a mechanic?
- I don't know. I never met him.

1054
01:05:19,121 --> 01:05:22,374
Never met your dad?
Well, that's unfortunate.

1055
01:05:22,458 --> 01:05:24,460
But very interesting.

1056
01:05:24,543 --> 01:05:26,503
Mind if I take a picture of you?

1057
01:05:26,587 --> 01:05:29,465
- You know, just for fun.
- OK.

1058
01:05:33,385 --> 01:05:36,097
Mr Moose likes to say good words

1059
01:05:36,181 --> 01:05:38,475
He doesn't like you to say bad words

1060
01:05:38,558 --> 01:05:40,727
Ass... hole.

1061
01:05:40,810 --> 01:05:43,021
OK, just hang on a sec there.

1062
01:05:45,231 --> 01:05:46,858
Ass... hole.

1063
01:05:49,194 --> 01:05:52,405
- Yeah, hello?
- Hi, it's me. How's it going?

1064
01:05:52,489 --> 01:05:56,159
Horribly.
He's crying and screaming and cursing.

1065
01:05:56,242 --> 01:05:58,912
That poor kid
is desperate for human contact.

1066
01:05:58,995 --> 01:06:01,915
Hold him and kiss him.
Do whatever it takes.

1067
01:06:01,998 --> 01:06:05,460
I've been hugging him in secret.
Feeding him chocolates, too.

1068
01:06:12,008 --> 01:06:14,594
...and told Elmo all about it.

1069
01:06:14,678 --> 01:06:16,388
All animals have babies.

1070
01:06:21,351 --> 01:06:23,853
Say hello to my little friend.

1071
01:06:26,564 --> 01:06:30,235
He's probably teething,
so put a dab of rum in his milk.

1072
01:06:30,318 --> 01:06:32,654
It'll ease the pain
and he'll go to sleep.

1073
01:06:32,737 --> 01:06:35,782
- Give him a drink?
- Less than a thimbleful.

1074
01:06:35,865 --> 01:06:38,702
You don't want Jack coming home
to a screaming baby.

1075
01:06:47,628 --> 01:06:50,047
Listen to your mother.
Goodbye. I love you.

1076
01:06:50,131 --> 01:06:52,216
All right. Mom?

1077
01:06:58,889 --> 01:07:02,310
OK, Little Jack,
I got a surprise for you.

1078
01:07:04,854 --> 01:07:06,564
Little Jack?

1079
01:07:07,565 --> 01:07:10,735
Mr Moose is looking for you.
Oh, shit.

1080
01:07:10,818 --> 01:07:12,778
Where the hell did he go?

1081
01:07:12,862 --> 01:07:15,406
LJ? Little Jack.

1082
01:07:19,870 --> 01:07:23,582
LJ. Little Jack. Where are you?

1083
01:07:24,333 --> 01:07:26,877
Does that Jorge
resemble anyone you know?

1084
01:07:26,960 --> 01:07:28,920
No one I know.

1085
01:07:39,181 --> 01:07:42,601
There's something
you don't see every day.

1086
01:07:42,684 --> 01:07:44,728
Focker. Focker.

1087
01:07:44,811 --> 01:07:47,356
OK, I know this looks bad,
but I can explain.

1088
01:07:47,439 --> 01:07:49,900
What happened?
I said no monkey business.

1089
01:07:49,983 --> 01:07:53,237
- There was no monkey business.
- You're wearing my breast.

1090
01:07:53,321 --> 01:07:56,240
Little Jack is drinking.
Moses is sodomizing Jinxy.

1091
01:07:56,324 --> 01:07:59,869
No monkey business?
What is going on here?

1092
01:07:59,953 --> 01:08:02,038
- We're home.
- Hey, guys.

1093
01:08:02,121 --> 01:08:03,831
Give me the bottle.

1094
01:08:03,915 --> 01:08:06,834
- What happened to Little Jack?
- His hands are stuck.

1095
01:08:06,918 --> 01:08:08,795
- Thanks.
- You bet they're stuck.

1096
01:08:08,878 --> 01:08:12,131
Greg, how did this happen?
And why are you wearing antlers?

1097
01:08:12,215 --> 01:08:15,718
- It's very complicated.
- It's just glue. He's fine.

1098
01:08:15,802 --> 01:08:18,596
He's not. If he had
the use of his hands, he'd say so.

1099
01:08:18,680 --> 01:08:22,976
- All right.
- Honey, are you OK?

1100
01:08:23,059 --> 01:08:25,186
- Greg...
- Dina? Pam?

1101
01:08:25,270 --> 01:08:27,814
Yes, Dad. Coming.
Little Jack?

1102
01:08:27,897 --> 01:08:30,191
Honey, I said a thimble,
not a bottle.

1103
01:08:34,362 --> 01:08:36,364
- Oh, Greg.
- Hey.

1104
01:08:37,156 --> 01:08:40,702
- How's the little guy doing?
- Everything's just as good as new.

1105
01:08:41,369 --> 01:08:43,371
- Yeah?
- Dad, come on.

1106
01:08:52,005 --> 01:08:54,090
- Is he all right?
- He's asleep.

1107
01:08:54,173 --> 01:08:58,137
I don't care if they called you
Larry Poppins. You can't handle a child.

1108
01:08:58,220 --> 01:09:01,932
- It was Barry Poppins.
- What cocktail were you making?

1109
01:09:02,016 --> 01:09:05,394
He's teething. I told Greg
to give him rum to ease the pain.

1110
01:09:05,477 --> 01:09:06,812
- It was your idea?
- Yes.

1111
01:09:06,895 --> 01:09:11,108
- What is wrong with you people?
- I used to rub bourbon on Denny's gums.

1112
01:09:11,191 --> 01:09:15,112
Look what happened to him.
You couldn't follow simple instructions?

1113
01:09:15,195 --> 01:09:18,240
He was screaming so I gave him
a little attention, OK?

1114
01:09:18,324 --> 01:09:21,869
These setbacks are disastrous
for his development.

1115
01:09:21,952 --> 01:09:23,078
Don't exaggerate.

1116
01:09:23,162 --> 01:09:25,956
The child is adorable,
but he's not Little Buddha.

1117
01:09:26,040 --> 01:09:27,416
What are you saying?

1118
01:09:27,499 --> 01:09:31,170
I've seen that kid eat at least
15 boogers since he's been here.

1119
01:09:31,253 --> 01:09:34,841
I've got news for you.
Prodigies don't eat their own boogers.

1120
01:09:34,924 --> 01:09:37,802
And prodigies don't come in tenth place.

1121
01:09:37,886 --> 01:09:39,638
OK, Dad, that's my fiancé.

1122
01:09:39,721 --> 01:09:42,641
I have never seen people
celebrate such mediocrity.

1123
01:09:42,724 --> 01:09:46,102
Why? Because we love our son?
We hug our son?

1124
01:09:46,186 --> 01:09:49,564
The truth is, you are so concerned
about that Little Jack

1125
01:09:49,648 --> 01:09:53,693
but I think it's the Little Jack in you
who's crying out for a hug.

1126
01:09:55,320 --> 01:09:57,656
The Little Jack in me?

1127
01:09:58,865 --> 01:10:03,662
You have issues. You run around with
a rubber boob strapped to your chest.

1128
01:10:03,745 --> 01:10:05,831
- Were you breast-fed?
- Mom, stop.

1129
01:10:05,915 --> 01:10:07,500
- Key question.
- I guess not.

1130
01:10:07,583 --> 01:10:09,460
Spare the drugstore psychology.

1131
01:10:09,543 --> 01:10:13,547
- It all comes down to that.
- Everybody, all right, just...

1132
01:10:13,631 --> 01:10:16,550
Everybody just stop. OK?

1133
01:10:16,634 --> 01:10:21,013
Jack, yes, Little Jack wouldn't
stop crying so I gave him some hugs

1134
01:10:21,097 --> 01:10:22,682
and I let him watch TV.

1135
01:10:22,765 --> 01:10:24,934
I answered the phone,
I came back in,

1136
01:10:25,017 --> 01:10:27,895
he'd let himself out of the playpen,
put on Scarface

1137
01:10:27,979 --> 01:10:31,107
and glued his hands
to the rum bottle. OK?

1138
01:10:33,943 --> 01:10:35,987
- That's it.
- Oh. That's it.

1139
01:10:36,070 --> 01:10:39,073
Greg just said that's it,
so I feel better. That's it.

1140
01:10:41,200 --> 01:10:45,121
OK, let it go.
He's fine, Greg. He's asleep.

1141
01:10:47,915 --> 01:10:49,208
He spoke.

1142
01:10:49,292 --> 01:10:51,794
Ass... hole.

1143
01:10:51,877 --> 01:10:54,714
- What?
- I dunno. Come on.

1144
01:10:54,797 --> 01:10:56,841
Did he say what I thought he said?

1145
01:10:58,175 --> 01:11:00,886
Little Jack, what did you just say?

1146
01:11:00,970 --> 01:11:04,056
Ass... hole.

1147
01:11:06,809 --> 01:11:08,811
His first word?

1148
01:11:12,733 --> 01:11:15,235
It just slipped out of my mouth. He...

1149
01:11:15,319 --> 01:11:17,446
- He has a mind like a sponge.
- Enough.

1150
01:11:17,529 --> 01:11:19,406
I'm calling a family conference.

1151
01:11:19,489 --> 01:11:22,868
Great idea. Let's finally get
your problems out on the table.

1152
01:11:22,951 --> 01:11:26,997
With my own family. Excuse us. I'd like
to talk to Pam and Dina in private.

1153
01:11:27,080 --> 01:11:29,583
Of course. Of course.
Take your time.

1154
01:11:30,375 --> 01:11:31,376
Come on, honey. Come on.

1155
01:11:34,338 --> 01:11:37,633
I'm not sure this wedding
is a good idea, to say the least.

1156
01:11:37,716 --> 01:11:39,926
I don't like what I see
of these Fockers.

1157
01:11:40,010 --> 01:11:41,053
What?

1158
01:11:41,136 --> 01:11:43,013
Has Greg mentioned a Jorge to you?

1159
01:11:43,096 --> 01:11:45,766
I don't know
what you're talking about. No, why?

1160
01:11:45,849 --> 01:11:48,811
I think your fiancé
may have skeletons in his closet

1161
01:11:48,895 --> 01:11:52,690
he's not telling you about.
Skeletons don't like living in closets.

1162
01:11:52,774 --> 01:11:54,817
God, here we go again.
Dad, listen.

1163
01:11:54,901 --> 01:11:57,654
- Greg has no skeletons, OK?
- Oh, really?

1164
01:11:57,737 --> 01:11:59,155
- No.
- You know that?

1165
01:11:59,238 --> 01:12:00,448
- Yes.
- I see.

1166
01:12:00,531 --> 01:12:02,158
- She knows.
- I'm not a child.

1167
01:12:02,241 --> 01:12:03,868
This wedding is happening.

1168
01:12:03,952 --> 01:12:06,704
The sooner you accept it,
the better for all of us.

1169
01:12:06,788 --> 01:12:10,333
- I can't talk to you.
- Wait a second, sweetheart.

1170
01:12:11,876 --> 01:12:15,129
I'm not so sure Roz
is a yoga instructor either.

1171
01:12:15,213 --> 01:12:17,966
Jack, you promised
you would behave yourself.

1172
01:12:18,049 --> 01:12:20,636
What you said to them
was really hurtful.

1173
01:12:20,719 --> 01:12:23,347
I think you should go up there
and apologise.

1174
01:12:23,430 --> 01:12:25,432
I'm not going to apologise to them.

1175
01:12:26,308 --> 01:12:28,394
Jack.

1176
01:12:31,522 --> 01:12:36,360
A little birdie told me
that somebody's gonna be a daddy.

1177
01:12:36,443 --> 01:12:38,195
- Mom.
- Sorry, honey.

1178
01:12:38,279 --> 01:12:40,197
Look at that face.
How could I keep it a secret?

1179
01:12:40,281 --> 01:12:42,533
He's so excited about being a grandpa.

1180
01:12:42,616 --> 01:12:44,576
We can call me Poppity-Pop.

1181
01:12:44,660 --> 01:12:46,954
- Pop-a-doodle-doo.
- OK, OK. Look.

1182
01:12:47,037 --> 01:12:48,747
- But no champagne, OK?
- Why?

1183
01:12:48,831 --> 01:12:49,915
Jack's angry.

1184
01:12:49,999 --> 01:12:52,835
He's also a bit meshuggener.
Come on, honey.

1185
01:12:52,918 --> 01:12:55,045
How often do we get
to be grandparents?

1186
01:12:55,129 --> 01:12:57,423
- We are having a toast.
- This is a secret.

1187
01:12:57,506 --> 01:13:01,218
- Jack can't know till we're married.
- Why? We're honest people.

1188
01:13:01,302 --> 01:13:04,221
No. I can't stand this secrecy any more.

1189
01:13:04,305 --> 01:13:05,681
Please, be quiet.

1190
01:13:05,764 --> 01:13:08,851
Why diminish our joy
because they live in denial?

1191
01:13:09,393 --> 01:13:10,978
Seriously.

1192
01:13:13,772 --> 01:13:15,733
I promised Pam, OK?

1193
01:13:15,816 --> 01:13:18,110
She thinks it'll break his heart.

1194
01:13:18,193 --> 01:13:20,529
- I'm not drinking.
- Your father's right.

1195
01:13:20,613 --> 01:13:22,114
This is the 21 st century.

1196
01:13:22,197 --> 01:13:24,867
Married or not,
there's no shame in fatherhood.

1197
01:13:24,950 --> 01:13:26,994
This is the fruit of your loins.

1198
01:13:27,077 --> 01:13:29,748
That is so beautiful.
Say that to him again.

1199
01:13:29,831 --> 01:13:31,750
- The fruit of your loins?
- Yes.

1200
01:13:31,833 --> 01:13:34,002
This is the fruit of your loins.

1201
01:13:34,085 --> 01:13:36,421
Let's toast and make a sandwich.

1202
01:13:36,504 --> 01:13:38,757
Mom wants to be the cheese.

1203
01:13:38,840 --> 01:13:40,800
What are you doing?

1204
01:13:41,926 --> 01:13:43,970
What did you do?

1205
01:13:44,804 --> 01:13:48,058
- You OK there, Jacko?
- What's the matter? What happened?

1206
01:13:49,267 --> 01:13:53,605
I was coming to apologise
and my back went into spasm.

1207
01:13:53,688 --> 01:13:56,566
It's tender
from that horrific football accident.

1208
01:13:56,650 --> 01:13:59,194
I feel it.
You're knotted like a pretzel.

1209
01:13:59,277 --> 01:14:01,197
You must be in a lot of pain.

1210
01:14:01,280 --> 01:14:03,032
I don't mind. I learn from pain.

1211
01:14:03,115 --> 01:14:06,494
Pain, schmain. My fingers are magic.
I'll work out the kinks.

1212
01:14:06,577 --> 01:14:09,205
Oh, yeah,
that's a lovely offer, Jack.

1213
01:14:09,288 --> 01:14:11,165
No, thanks, I'll be fine.

1214
01:14:11,248 --> 01:14:14,085
My wife does
wonderful body work, Jack.

1215
01:14:14,168 --> 01:14:15,795
I don't think he needs it.

1216
01:14:20,299 --> 01:14:22,802
OK, handsome, shirt off.

1217
01:14:22,885 --> 01:14:24,637
I'd rather have it on.

1218
01:14:24,720 --> 01:14:27,974
Oh, no dice. No, no, no.
It has to come off.

1219
01:14:28,599 --> 01:14:29,642
Lovely.

1220
01:14:29,725 --> 01:14:34,313
You know,
most back pain is psychological.

1221
01:14:34,397 --> 01:14:38,485
We carry our emotional baggage
right here in our muscles.

1222
01:14:40,237 --> 01:14:42,531
I've been watching you, Jack.

1223
01:14:42,614 --> 01:14:44,449
Studying your body language.

1224
01:14:44,533 --> 01:14:47,327
And you're a very sensual man.

1225
01:14:47,411 --> 01:14:50,372
But I'm not sure you realize that.

1226
01:14:50,455 --> 01:14:53,959
- What are you doing?
- It's a technique I learned in Hawaii.

1227
01:14:54,042 --> 01:14:56,336
It's a Lomi-Lomi massage.

1228
01:14:56,420 --> 01:15:00,173
Named after the gentle waves
of the Polynesian sea.

1229
01:15:00,257 --> 01:15:03,885
The waves go in,
and the waves go out.

1230
01:15:03,969 --> 01:15:07,055
The waves go in...

1231
01:15:07,723 --> 01:15:09,683
Hit some driftwood.

1232
01:15:11,643 --> 01:15:15,314
Jack Byrnes, you are a caged lion.

1233
01:15:15,397 --> 01:15:18,108
But lions can't be captives
their entire lives.

1234
01:15:18,191 --> 01:15:22,070
They have to be free
to roam the bush, free and wild.

1235
01:15:22,154 --> 01:15:27,117
Your wife is a hot, sexy tigress.
She's waiting for you to pounce on her.

1236
01:15:27,200 --> 01:15:29,745
Let me hear you roar, baby, roar.

1237
01:15:29,828 --> 01:15:32,039
Your body is talking to me.

1238
01:15:32,122 --> 01:15:34,333
It's hungry for action.
I can feel it.

1239
01:15:34,416 --> 01:15:38,378
- Unleash the beast inside you.
- Stop it, you're hurting him.

1240
01:15:38,462 --> 01:15:41,173
I am not hurting him,
I am helping him.

1241
01:15:41,256 --> 01:15:42,800
Just don't...

1242
01:15:42,884 --> 01:15:44,844
You shouldn't move just yet.

1243
01:15:44,927 --> 01:15:48,556
Jack, come back for
an afternoon session. It'll do you good.

1244
01:15:48,640 --> 01:15:50,642
- What are you doing?
- We were close.

1245
01:15:50,725 --> 01:15:54,103
- I was getting through to him.
- He doesn't like to be touched.

1246
01:15:54,187 --> 01:15:56,814
He has the emotional hide
of a rhinoceros.

1247
01:15:56,898 --> 01:16:00,318
- Don't break him down.
- I was trying to do you a favour.

1248
01:16:00,401 --> 01:16:02,445
You were riding him like Seabiscuit.

1249
01:16:50,912 --> 01:16:52,706
Dial Foxtrot One.

1250
01:16:57,961 --> 01:16:59,337
Alpha Foxtrot One.

1251
01:16:59,421 --> 01:17:02,299
Foxtrot One,
I need a full comparative DNA analysis

1252
01:17:02,382 --> 01:17:06,428
on one Gaylord M Focker,
one Jorge Villalobos,

1253
01:17:06,511 --> 01:17:09,389
translation:
George House of the Wolves.

1254
01:17:09,472 --> 01:17:12,892
- Might take a few weeks, Santa.
- I need a 12-hour turnaround.

1255
01:17:12,976 --> 01:17:14,769
I'll secure physical evidence.

1256
01:17:14,853 --> 01:17:17,689
Handoff at Harry Focker's
Good Time Supper Club,

1257
01:17:17,772 --> 01:17:19,149
2100 hours tonight.

1258
01:17:19,232 --> 01:17:21,026
You got it. Foxtrot One, out.

1259
01:17:24,446 --> 01:17:27,157
- Hello.
- Bernie, this is Jack Byrnes.

1260
01:17:27,240 --> 01:17:29,159
Where are you calling from?

1261
01:17:29,242 --> 01:17:32,454
My RV. Would you have Greg
meet me here in three minutes?

1262
01:17:32,537 --> 01:17:34,456
- Your trailer?
- Thanks. Goodbye.

1263
01:17:34,539 --> 01:17:35,582
But...

1264
01:17:37,792 --> 01:17:39,085
Hey, Gaylord.

1265
01:17:39,169 --> 01:17:44,132
Jack wants you to meet him in
his trailer in precisely three minutes.

1266
01:17:44,215 --> 01:17:48,637
And I have to tell you, El Stiffo
is really starting to freak me out.

1267
01:17:48,720 --> 01:17:50,597
Greg, wait, OK?

1268
01:17:50,680 --> 01:17:54,351
No matter how hard he probes you,
promise you will not break.

1269
01:17:54,434 --> 01:17:56,645
I'm not ready to tell him I'm pregnant.

1270
01:17:56,728 --> 01:17:58,314
- Honey.
- What?

1271
01:17:58,397 --> 01:18:01,984
Let him probe.
Cos he's probing a brick wall.

1272
01:18:04,487 --> 01:18:08,074
Now show me how you would
like a romantic evening to go.

1273
01:18:08,157 --> 01:18:12,912
Jack, wine and candles.
Gosh, it's not even our anniversary.

1274
01:18:12,995 --> 01:18:14,997
Come here, hot stuff.

1275
01:18:16,082 --> 01:18:18,376
Yes. Yes.

1276
01:18:18,459 --> 01:18:21,879
- Jack.
- That was good, Dina.

1277
01:18:22,588 --> 01:18:25,257
- Jack?
- Down here, under the bed.

1278
01:18:32,891 --> 01:18:34,893
Down here, Greg.

1279
01:18:38,814 --> 01:18:41,024
Have a seat.

1280
01:18:41,692 --> 01:18:43,735
Watch the panel.

1281
01:18:44,653 --> 01:18:46,655
This is incredible.

1282
01:18:57,749 --> 01:19:02,004
So this is like
your mobile command centre

1283
01:19:02,087 --> 01:19:04,131
for all your spy activities?

1284
01:19:04,214 --> 01:19:07,051
Mainly a secure space
for me to spend some alone time

1285
01:19:07,135 --> 01:19:09,721
and reflect on my thoughts.

1286
01:19:09,804 --> 01:19:11,431
Very cool.

1287
01:19:11,514 --> 01:19:13,391
- Greg.
- Yeah?

1288
01:19:13,474 --> 01:19:16,394
You'll recall we had a discussion
earlier in the week

1289
01:19:16,477 --> 01:19:20,398
regarding my feelings about family,
legacies, children and so forth.

1290
01:19:20,481 --> 01:19:22,066
Yeah, of course I recall.

1291
01:19:23,735 --> 01:19:26,487
I'm going to just ask you once.

1292
01:19:26,571 --> 01:19:28,781
Is there anything you want to tell me

1293
01:19:28,865 --> 01:19:31,326
regarding things that
might have happened?

1294
01:19:31,409 --> 01:19:34,329
Unplanned things.

1295
01:19:34,412 --> 01:19:37,832
Things involving
the fruit of your loins.

1296
01:19:41,294 --> 01:19:42,837
No.

1297
01:19:51,304 --> 01:19:54,390
Well, if he's not going
to admit it on his own...

1298
01:20:08,446 --> 01:20:10,823
- Hello.
- Hello, Jorge.

1299
01:20:10,907 --> 01:20:14,578
- It's Jack Byrnes. Remember me?
- Yeah, sure.

1300
01:20:14,662 --> 01:20:17,289
You came with Bernie.
You had that camera pen.

1301
01:20:17,373 --> 01:20:19,083
Yeah, that's right.

1302
01:20:19,166 --> 01:20:22,670
- Do you have any plans tonight?
- No.

1303
01:20:22,753 --> 01:20:25,255
Good, cos I'd like
to invite you to a party.

1304
01:20:43,732 --> 01:20:45,234
- Hey, sweetie.
- Hey.

1305
01:20:45,317 --> 01:20:47,404
- Having a good time?
- No, not really.

1306
01:20:47,487 --> 01:20:51,157
No? Did you tell your mother
I'm pregnant?

1307
01:20:51,241 --> 01:20:53,702
She keeps touching my stomach, smiling.

1308
01:20:53,785 --> 01:20:57,747
- Like that.
- No, I didn't tell her, she guessed.

1309
01:20:57,831 --> 01:20:59,916
- She what?
- Then she told my dad.

1310
01:21:00,000 --> 01:21:01,042
Oh, my God.

1311
01:21:01,126 --> 01:21:04,462
Stop it, Bernie. Bernie, stop.

1312
01:21:04,546 --> 01:21:05,964
It's not funny.

1313
01:21:06,047 --> 01:21:08,591
- Well, I told my mom.
- What?

1314
01:21:08,675 --> 01:21:10,510
- Yeah.
- What are you... I...

1315
01:21:10,593 --> 01:21:12,262
- Your dad will find out.
- No.

1316
01:21:12,345 --> 01:21:14,264
She knows him.
She won't say a word.

1317
01:21:14,347 --> 01:21:16,558
- He's very suspicious.
- Greg.

1318
01:21:16,641 --> 01:21:18,226
- Hi.
- Hi.

1319
01:21:18,310 --> 01:21:20,104
Please take this to your mother.

1320
01:21:20,187 --> 01:21:23,024
It's a wine spritzer.
That's all she drinks now.

1321
01:21:23,107 --> 01:21:25,526
OK. You boys have fun.

1322
01:21:29,989 --> 01:21:32,783
Nice... Nice party. Isn't it?

1323
01:21:32,867 --> 01:21:37,038
Yeah, it is.
It's got a nice, festive vibe.

1324
01:21:37,121 --> 01:21:39,790
You've met some of the cousins?

1325
01:21:39,874 --> 01:21:43,002
I met some, yes, I met some...

1326
01:21:43,085 --> 01:21:44,337
Dom.

1327
01:21:44,420 --> 01:21:47,548
Yeah, Dom Focker,
that's my dad's first cousin.

1328
01:21:47,632 --> 01:21:50,426
Did you meet his kids,
Randy and Orny?

1329
01:21:50,509 --> 01:21:53,721
I've met Randy and Orny, yes.

1330
01:21:53,804 --> 01:21:56,766
Come on, I want to introduce you
to somebody. Come on.

1331
01:21:58,768 --> 01:22:00,728
There he is.

1332
01:22:00,811 --> 01:22:02,772
Glad you could make it, Jorge.

1333
01:22:03,981 --> 01:22:05,942
Thanks for the invite, Mr B.

1334
01:22:06,025 --> 01:22:09,236
Greg, this is Jorge Villalobos.

1335
01:22:09,320 --> 01:22:11,280
How you doing?

1336
01:22:11,364 --> 01:22:12,990
Isabel's son.

1337
01:22:13,074 --> 01:22:15,743
I didn't realise Isabel had a son.

1338
01:22:16,869 --> 01:22:19,497
- When did she get married?
- She's not married.

1339
01:22:19,580 --> 01:22:21,666
He's never met his father.

1340
01:22:24,460 --> 01:22:27,631
I'm sorry.
I mean, that's too bad.

1341
01:22:27,714 --> 01:22:29,675
Oh, no, it's cool.

1342
01:22:29,758 --> 01:22:34,012
My mom said my dad wasn't
mature enough to deal with a kid.

1343
01:22:34,096 --> 01:22:35,931
So, yeah.

1344
01:22:36,014 --> 01:22:37,891
So how do you know each other?

1345
01:22:37,975 --> 01:22:40,268
This young man
is quite the mechanic.

1346
01:22:40,352 --> 01:22:43,063
He's only 15 years old.
Isn't that impressive?

1347
01:22:43,146 --> 01:22:44,606
Really? You're 15?

1348
01:22:44,690 --> 01:22:46,817
- Yeah.
- That is impressive.

1349
01:22:46,900 --> 01:22:49,653
- He's a handsome kid, huh?
- Yeah.

1350
01:22:49,736 --> 01:22:52,823
Almost like a young,
half-Hispanic Marlon Brando.

1351
01:22:55,409 --> 01:22:59,454
Well, I'll leave you two guys to talk.

1352
01:22:59,538 --> 01:23:01,624
You probably have a lot in common.

1353
01:23:08,840 --> 01:23:11,843
Well...

1354
01:23:11,926 --> 01:23:15,388
So you're 15?

1355
01:23:36,785 --> 01:23:39,663
Come on, you Fockers, conga.

1356
01:23:39,747 --> 01:23:42,124
Did you order the Tom Collins, sir?

1357
01:23:42,207 --> 01:23:44,335
Is it made with fresh lemon juice?

1358
01:23:44,418 --> 01:23:47,880
They're Bermuda lemons, sir,
and I squeezed them myself.

1359
01:23:50,341 --> 01:23:52,051
Stay safe, Santa.

1360
01:23:55,512 --> 01:23:57,514
Go, Bernie. Go, Focker.

1361
01:24:07,900 --> 01:24:10,152
Go, Bernie. Go, Focker.

1362
01:24:13,447 --> 01:24:16,283
I mean, it's romantic out here,
don't you think?

1363
01:24:17,159 --> 01:24:19,119
The moon, the sea.

1364
01:24:19,203 --> 01:24:21,997
- Isn't it nice?
- Yeah, it's nice.

1365
01:24:24,124 --> 01:24:26,335
You look very handsome tonight, Jack.

1366
01:24:26,418 --> 01:24:28,462
Thank you, I...

1367
01:24:32,883 --> 01:24:35,094
What are you doing to my ears?

1368
01:24:35,177 --> 01:24:37,763
Nothing. I was...

1369
01:24:40,182 --> 01:24:42,268
Gay. Gay.

1370
01:24:42,352 --> 01:24:45,063
I have to go to the bathroom.
I'll be right back.

1371
01:24:45,146 --> 01:24:47,148
OK.

1372
01:24:55,907 --> 01:24:57,909
- Hello, Greg.
- Hi, Jack.

1373
01:25:01,663 --> 01:25:04,249
Did you have a nice conversation
with your son?

1374
01:25:04,332 --> 01:25:07,627
Jack, I never even
met that kid before.

1375
01:25:07,711 --> 01:25:10,964
Focker, you've been
covering this up from the beginning.

1376
01:25:11,047 --> 01:25:14,926
No, I haven't, Jack. It's just
another one of your crazy theories.

1377
01:25:15,010 --> 01:25:18,055
Greg, you're still in
the Circle of Trust,

1378
01:25:18,139 --> 01:25:20,933
so I'm gonna give you
one more chance.

1379
01:25:21,017 --> 01:25:24,937
Are you ready to admit
you've been hiding this from Pam?

1380
01:25:25,021 --> 01:25:26,522
No, I haven't.

1381
01:25:26,605 --> 01:25:29,025
- You're not hiding anything?
- No.

1382
01:25:29,108 --> 01:25:31,360
All right?

1383
01:25:31,444 --> 01:25:34,196
Oh, Greg...

1384
01:25:34,280 --> 01:25:37,199
What are you holding?
What's in your hand?

1385
01:25:37,283 --> 01:25:38,701
Nothing.

1386
01:25:38,784 --> 01:25:42,038
I can see in the mirror.
There's something in your hand.

1387
01:25:42,121 --> 01:25:44,624
- Don't worry about it.
- Is that a needle?

1388
01:25:45,291 --> 01:25:47,293
Yes, it is.

1389
01:25:47,376 --> 01:25:51,298
You seem tense.
I was going to offer you a sedative.

1390
01:25:51,381 --> 01:25:54,760
- You're joking, right?
- No, I'm not.

1391
01:25:56,094 --> 01:25:58,847
- Jack...
- Is that tartar sauce on your shoulder?

1392
01:25:58,930 --> 01:26:00,974
Tartar sauce?

1393
01:26:03,894 --> 01:26:06,104
Why?

1394
01:26:06,188 --> 01:26:10,025
You've been injected with
a concentrated dose of sodium pentothal,

1395
01:26:10,108 --> 01:26:13,737
street name "truth serum".
You will have no recollection of this.

1396
01:26:13,820 --> 01:26:18,241
Tonight, for the first time in
your life, you are going to be honest.

1397
01:26:20,953 --> 01:26:23,038
Keep the pressure on it.

1398
01:26:23,121 --> 01:26:26,291
Get down, Little Jack.
Get funky.

1399
01:26:30,379 --> 01:26:32,255
- Hey there, preggers.
- Quiet.

1400
01:26:32,339 --> 01:26:34,508
- How you doing?
- Where've you been?

1401
01:26:34,591 --> 01:26:36,551
I went to the bathroom to pee,

1402
01:26:36,635 --> 01:26:41,014
and now I am talking to you, my fiancée,
who I've delayed marrying for two years

1403
01:26:41,098 --> 01:26:44,643
because I didn't want
our parents to meet.

1404
01:26:44,726 --> 01:26:45,811
What?

1405
01:26:45,894 --> 01:26:48,772
- What?
- What?

1406
01:26:48,855 --> 01:26:52,484
You don't like me? It's OK.
I don't like your little red outfit.

1407
01:26:52,567 --> 01:26:54,695
Makes you look
like a demon baby.

1408
01:26:54,778 --> 01:26:57,657
Maybe I'll get you
a pitchfork for Christmas,

1409
01:26:57,740 --> 01:27:00,034
so we can put you on a can
of Underwood ham.

1410
01:27:00,118 --> 01:27:02,453
I'm sorry I can't make
little poop sounds

1411
01:27:02,537 --> 01:27:06,457
and I can't make little things that
tell people when I want to do things.

1412
01:27:06,541 --> 01:27:09,335
Guess what.
I can make a sign to you, too.

1413
01:27:09,419 --> 01:27:11,129
How's that for a sign?

1414
01:27:14,465 --> 01:27:16,551
Look, Bernie's onstage. Come on.

1415
01:27:16,634 --> 01:27:19,137
Now, to say a few words,

1416
01:27:19,220 --> 01:27:23,641
one of the great
registered nurses of all time,

1417
01:27:23,725 --> 01:27:25,935
Gaylord Myron Focker.

1418
01:27:26,019 --> 01:27:29,940
Come on, let's give it up to Gay.
Give it up to him.

1419
01:27:33,569 --> 01:27:36,739
Bernie Focker.

1420
01:27:36,822 --> 01:27:39,408
I love the shirt, Dad.

1421
01:27:39,491 --> 01:27:41,410
Thank you.

1422
01:27:41,493 --> 01:27:44,955
All right.
It's great to be here with all of you,

1423
01:27:45,039 --> 01:27:51,003
as I am about to set sail
in my ship of life

1424
01:27:51,086 --> 01:27:53,297
with my first mate,

1425
01:27:53,380 --> 01:27:56,383
the beautiful young
blonde lass there. Hey, baby.

1426
01:27:57,509 --> 01:27:59,511
I love you, honey.

1427
01:28:02,389 --> 01:28:04,726
I still masturbate to Pam.

1428
01:28:04,809 --> 01:28:06,770
- Greg.
- What? It's true.

1429
01:28:06,853 --> 01:28:09,898
Honey, what? Come on.
You're hot. Look at her.

1430
01:28:09,981 --> 01:28:12,192
Look at those boobs. Man.

1431
01:28:12,275 --> 01:28:16,696
I just wanna lather them up with soap
and just...

1432
01:28:16,780 --> 01:28:18,365
I love it.

1433
01:28:18,448 --> 01:28:24,496
Man, I just wanna nestle in there
and take a little vacation in there.

1434
01:28:25,288 --> 01:28:28,208
- Honey.
- Honey, what? I'm sorry.

1435
01:28:28,291 --> 01:28:30,627
OK, excuse me for you being perfect.

1436
01:28:30,710 --> 01:28:33,838
Hey, you know who else is great?
That woman over there.

1437
01:28:33,922 --> 01:28:36,716
My future mother-in-law,
Dina Byrnes.

1438
01:28:45,392 --> 01:28:47,852
If you want to know
what a woman will look like

1439
01:28:47,936 --> 01:28:50,146
when she gets older,
look at her mother.

1440
01:28:50,230 --> 01:28:54,401
Well, I'm a-lookin'
and I'm a-likin'.

1441
01:28:54,484 --> 01:28:57,320
Look at her. Sweetness.

1442
01:28:59,781 --> 01:29:02,534
Good genes in the Byrnes gene pool.

1443
01:29:04,077 --> 01:29:07,205
Hey. Hey, you.
Yeah, you.

1444
01:29:07,289 --> 01:29:12,378
Hold on. Pam, I got to tell you
something about this little dude.

1445
01:29:12,461 --> 01:29:16,299
In my first really passionate
sexual awakening,

1446
01:29:16,382 --> 01:29:18,926
I did in fact lose my virginity

1447
01:29:19,010 --> 01:29:21,387
to our beautiful
housekeeper, Isabel...

1448
01:29:21,470 --> 01:29:24,098
Greg, that was in the past.
So come and sit down.

1449
01:29:24,181 --> 01:29:26,726
No, honey, I have to
get this off my chest.

1450
01:29:26,809 --> 01:29:28,644
Sit.

1451
01:29:30,271 --> 01:29:33,065
We conceived a child.

1452
01:29:34,692 --> 01:29:38,195
His name is Jorge Villalobos.
Come up here, Jorge.

1453
01:29:39,113 --> 01:29:41,240
Let's lift the veil of mystery.

1454
01:29:41,324 --> 01:29:44,285
The fruit of my loins is right here.

1455
01:29:44,368 --> 01:29:49,333
Everybody, take a look.
See his face. He is mine.

1456
01:29:49,416 --> 01:29:51,793
Search your feelings, Jorge.

1457
01:29:51,877 --> 01:29:53,545
You know it to be true.

1458
01:30:02,262 --> 01:30:05,098
It's OK, I know. I know.
A lot of information.

1459
01:30:05,182 --> 01:30:07,809
You let it settle.
Who'd have thunk it?

1460
01:30:07,893 --> 01:30:10,145
Give that kid a hand.

1461
01:30:11,229 --> 01:30:12,856
Oh, and, Jack.

1462
01:30:14,316 --> 01:30:15,817
Pam's pregnant.

1463
01:30:18,153 --> 01:30:20,114
Focker out.

1464
01:30:56,359 --> 01:30:58,444
What happened last night?

1465
01:30:59,445 --> 01:31:02,156
Well, you got drunk
and told my dad I'm pregnant.

1466
01:31:02,240 --> 01:31:05,243
You revealed you have
a 15-year-old son named Jorge.

1467
01:31:05,326 --> 01:31:07,787
And apparently,
you have the hots for my mom.

1468
01:31:08,413 --> 01:31:10,415
Oh, my God.

1469
01:31:11,374 --> 01:31:15,461
- Is that really true?
- I think she's attractive.

1470
01:31:15,545 --> 01:31:19,215
No. That you have a son
you never told me about.

1471
01:31:19,299 --> 01:31:23,761
Honey, if it is, I never heard about it
before last night.

1472
01:31:23,845 --> 01:31:25,848
Isabel never said anything to me.

1473
01:31:26,932 --> 01:31:29,601
I mean,
I don't even remember drinking.

1474
01:31:30,602 --> 01:31:34,940
- You're telling me the truth?
- Of course I am. Pam, I love you.

1475
01:31:35,024 --> 01:31:37,526
I'd never lie to you
about anything like that.

1476
01:31:42,823 --> 01:31:44,617
I love you, too.

1477
01:31:44,700 --> 01:31:48,704
And if Jorge really is your son,
then we will make it work.

1478
01:31:50,581 --> 01:31:52,207
OK.

1479
01:31:55,127 --> 01:31:58,297
How did your dad react
to the pregnancy news?

1480
01:31:58,380 --> 01:32:00,508
Well...

1481
01:32:00,592 --> 01:32:02,761
Just as you'd expect.

1482
01:32:02,844 --> 01:32:06,306
Slept in the RV. Hasn't spoken to anyone
since last night.

1483
01:32:09,434 --> 01:32:13,063
Pam, we have to leave.
Get in the RV now.

1484
01:32:13,146 --> 01:32:17,233
Bernard, get out from under the vehicle
or I will run you over.

1485
01:32:17,317 --> 01:32:20,403
I'm not moving.
There's a nonviolent way to handle this.

1486
01:32:20,487 --> 01:32:21,738
What's going on?

1487
01:32:21,821 --> 01:32:24,866
Your father wants to leave,
Bernie is staging a sit-in.

1488
01:32:24,949 --> 01:32:26,785
Dad, get up.
This is ridiculous.

1489
01:32:26,868 --> 01:32:30,288
You weren't around in the '60s.
This is how we got things done.

1490
01:32:30,372 --> 01:32:34,085
Pam, Dina, we have to get off
this island. It's evil.

1491
01:32:34,168 --> 01:32:38,589
Jack Byrnes, out of the RV.
You are acting like such a jerk.

1492
01:32:43,719 --> 01:32:47,139
Yes. There you go, Jacko. Yes.

1493
01:32:47,223 --> 01:32:49,225
Man, we're gonna have
a grandchild.

1494
01:32:49,308 --> 01:32:52,228
- We should be celebrating.
- How could you not see it?

1495
01:32:52,311 --> 01:32:54,689
Greg is completely unfit
to handle a child.

1496
01:32:54,772 --> 01:32:57,274
He's neglected his own son
for 15 years.

1497
01:32:57,358 --> 01:32:59,568
Jack, I didn't even know he existed.

1498
01:32:59,652 --> 01:33:02,738
Who knows?
You're dishonest about everything.

1499
01:33:02,822 --> 01:33:04,699
You're so much better?

1500
01:33:04,782 --> 01:33:07,910
Tell us all what you did
last night to Greg at the party.

1501
01:33:07,994 --> 01:33:10,746
- Muskrat, Dina.
- Stuff your muskrat, Jack.

1502
01:33:10,830 --> 01:33:14,500
He shot Greg with truth serum
before his speech.

1503
01:33:14,583 --> 01:33:17,336
- What?
- I found this in his pocket.

1504
01:33:17,420 --> 01:33:19,338
Here we go again, Dad.

1505
01:33:19,422 --> 01:33:21,966
He did this
to Pam's junior-prom date.

1506
01:33:22,049 --> 01:33:24,927
Wait a minute. Yes.
You stuck a needle in my neck.

1507
01:33:25,011 --> 01:33:27,680
- You drugged my son?
- I had no choice.

1508
01:33:27,763 --> 01:33:30,641
- He refuses to tell the truth.
- He's terrified.

1509
01:33:30,725 --> 01:33:32,476
He thinks he has to impress you.

1510
01:33:32,560 --> 01:33:34,395
He's had us trying to impress you,

1511
01:33:34,478 --> 01:33:37,982
but in my opinion, it's you
who should be trying to impress us.

1512
01:33:38,065 --> 01:33:39,483
Jack.

1513
01:33:39,567 --> 01:33:43,322
You've insulted me, my wife,
my son, our entire way of life.

1514
01:33:43,405 --> 01:33:46,950
I've sat back and taken it,
but you've crossed the line, sir,

1515
01:33:47,034 --> 01:33:49,286
and I am gonna have to
kick your ass.

1516
01:33:49,369 --> 01:33:50,912
Dad, wait a second.

1517
01:33:50,996 --> 01:33:54,374
I'm going to teach this florist
some justice, Focker-style.

1518
01:33:54,458 --> 01:33:57,085
- Calm down.
- Just give a minute to stretch.

1519
01:33:57,169 --> 01:33:59,046
You're gonna hurt yourself.

1520
01:33:59,129 --> 01:34:01,757
- We can talk this through.
- Too late for words.

1521
01:34:01,840 --> 01:34:04,968
Dad. No dance-fighting. Stop.

1522
01:34:05,052 --> 01:34:07,429
This is capoeira.
This is hardcore shit.

1523
01:34:07,512 --> 01:34:10,807
Bernard, if you continue,
you will force me to engage you

1524
01:34:10,891 --> 01:34:14,854
and once I begin the secrets of combat,
it will only end with your demise.

1525
01:34:14,937 --> 01:34:17,231
Bring it, dawg.
Come on, bring it. Come on.

1526
01:34:17,315 --> 01:34:19,984
- He's taunting me.
- Dad, chill out.

1527
01:34:20,068 --> 01:34:22,654
- Greg.
- What? You're gonna snap now?

1528
01:34:23,279 --> 01:34:24,906
- Greg.
- What?

1529
01:34:26,741 --> 01:34:29,035
- Greg, honey.
- Now look what you did.

1530
01:34:29,118 --> 01:34:31,996
- It's your fault.
- He's bleeding, Daddy.

1531
01:34:32,080 --> 01:34:34,999
Pam, Dina,
I'm calling a family conference.

1532
01:34:35,083 --> 01:34:37,502
- Come on.
- No, Dad, this is the family.

1533
01:34:37,585 --> 01:34:41,172
In a few weeks I won't be Pam Byrnes.
I'll be Pamela Focker.

1534
01:34:41,255 --> 01:34:43,549
Or Byrnes-Focker.
We haven't decided.

1535
01:34:43,633 --> 01:34:46,177
No, no, no,
I'm gonna be Pamela Martha Focker.

1536
01:34:46,260 --> 01:34:49,223
I know how that sounds,
but that's the name I'm taking.

1537
01:34:49,306 --> 01:34:52,768
Pamcake, you're upset.
I'm not sure you're thinking clearly.

1538
01:34:52,851 --> 01:34:57,314
It's you who is not thinking clearly.
These two kids love each other.

1539
01:34:57,398 --> 01:35:00,317
We've been kvelling over
the pregnancy all weekend.

1540
01:35:00,401 --> 01:35:02,736
You knew she was pregnant?

1541
01:35:03,570 --> 01:35:05,280
We all did, Jack.

1542
01:35:06,657 --> 01:35:09,618
I was gonna tell you after the wedding.

1543
01:35:11,620 --> 01:35:14,415
This was the reason
I created the Circle of Trust,

1544
01:35:14,498 --> 01:35:16,709
so we could discuss these things.

1545
01:35:16,792 --> 01:35:20,879
The circle isn't gonna work
if you don't trust anyone that's in it.

1546
01:35:20,963 --> 01:35:23,299
That's right, honey.

1547
01:35:28,304 --> 01:35:30,639
- Dad.
- Jack.

1548
01:35:30,723 --> 01:35:33,767
- Don't go.
- Daddy.

1549
01:35:33,851 --> 01:35:36,270
Daddy, please.
Daddy, where are you going?

1550
01:35:36,353 --> 01:35:38,981
- Come on.
- Don't drive away.

1551
01:35:41,692 --> 01:35:45,446
- Daddy, come back, please.
- Jack.

1552
01:35:45,529 --> 01:35:47,740
- What are you doing?
- Dad.

1553
01:35:51,035 --> 01:35:52,953
This is nisht gut.

1554
01:36:09,095 --> 01:36:11,473
- Is it ringing?
- There's no answer.

1555
01:36:11,556 --> 01:36:14,184
Give him space.
Maybe he's self-soothing.

1556
01:36:14,267 --> 01:36:17,270
- Roz.
- This is crazy. I'm going.

1557
01:36:17,354 --> 01:36:19,814
- I'm coming with you.
- I can do it myself.

1558
01:36:19,898 --> 01:36:22,734
I know these roads
like the back of my hand.

1559
01:36:25,028 --> 01:36:28,323
Come on.
Let's put this family back together.

1560
01:36:28,406 --> 01:36:30,785
Floor it, Gay.
I know a shortcut.

1561
01:36:30,868 --> 01:36:32,953
We'll beat El Stiffo to the freeway.

1562
01:36:34,288 --> 01:36:36,832
I think you make a right up here.
Or a left.

1563
01:36:36,916 --> 01:36:38,918
It's either one or the other.

1564
01:36:39,001 --> 01:36:41,796
- You don't know where we are.
- Something's wrong.

1565
01:36:41,879 --> 01:36:45,299
- This makes no sense.
- Dad. It's a map of Detroit.

1566
01:36:45,383 --> 01:36:48,052
- Well, that explains it.
- Dad...

1567
01:36:48,135 --> 01:36:50,930
Punch it, Gay.
We're gonna catch that dude.

1568
01:36:54,058 --> 01:36:56,811
- Oh, shit.
- Come on. Come on. Keep going.

1569
01:36:56,894 --> 01:36:59,146
Dad, it's a cop.

1570
01:36:59,230 --> 01:37:01,565
Listen carefully.
Let me do the talking.

1571
01:37:01,649 --> 01:37:03,402
I know how to handle local cops.

1572
01:37:03,485 --> 01:37:06,905
- Dad, don't do any talking.
- Don't shush me. I'm a lawyer.

1573
01:37:06,989 --> 01:37:09,616
Know how many tickets
I've talked myself out of?

1574
01:37:09,700 --> 01:37:12,869
Look at this yutz.
Don't they have height requirements?

1575
01:37:12,953 --> 01:37:16,290
We're screwed. Don't. Dad.
He said to remain in the vehicle.

1576
01:37:18,458 --> 01:37:21,211
Sir, I said to remain in your vehicle.

1577
01:37:21,295 --> 01:37:23,755
- I just wanna talk...
- I gave you an order.

1578
01:37:23,839 --> 01:37:27,092
- Let's talk like...
- Fail to comply, I will arrest you.

1579
01:37:27,175 --> 01:37:29,428
- His future father-in-law...
- Shut it.

1580
01:37:29,511 --> 01:37:32,347
...thinks Gay has a bastard son.
- I said, shut it.

1581
01:37:32,431 --> 01:37:34,474
- Shut it.
- I know my civil rights.

1582
01:37:34,558 --> 01:37:36,768
You know your rights?

1583
01:37:38,020 --> 01:37:41,565
- I have sensitive wrists.
- Sir, return to your vehicle.

1584
01:37:41,648 --> 01:37:44,735
- I don't know what he said...
- That's it. On your belly.

1585
01:37:44,818 --> 01:37:47,237
- My belly?
- Got a hearing problem, freak?

1586
01:37:48,071 --> 01:37:51,199
Now we got two failures to comply.

1587
01:37:51,283 --> 01:37:57,831
Now, I need the two of you
to remain on the vehicle.

1588
01:38:00,542 --> 01:38:04,713
- OK, now, here's my plan.
- Plan? Dad, no.

1589
01:38:04,796 --> 01:38:06,757
It was just a joke.

1590
01:38:08,800 --> 01:38:10,720
I'm sorry.

1591
01:38:10,803 --> 01:38:13,139
I was just trying to help you, Gay.

1592
01:38:13,222 --> 01:38:16,476
I know, Dad.
You're always trying to help.

1593
01:38:22,190 --> 01:38:25,026
What's the intel
on Operation Living Skeleton?

1594
01:38:25,109 --> 01:38:27,904
Focker's not the kid's father, Jack.

1595
01:38:27,987 --> 01:38:30,907
Are you kidding me?
I was sure I had that pegged.

1596
01:38:30,990 --> 01:38:32,909
I'm sending you a visual uplink.

1597
01:38:32,992 --> 01:38:36,454
The dad was a minor-league
Florida ballplayer.

1598
01:38:36,537 --> 01:38:38,957
His name is Rusty Bridges.

1599
01:38:40,792 --> 01:38:43,419
We all make mistakes, Santa.
Foxtrot One out.

1600
01:38:53,806 --> 01:38:57,226
34 years spent reading other people
and I get it all wrong.

1601
01:38:57,309 --> 01:39:00,020
My own wife,
I don't even know what she's thinking

1602
01:39:00,104 --> 01:39:03,148
and my daughter
keeps secrets from me.

1603
01:39:03,232 --> 01:39:07,319
Sometimes I think you're the only person
I can really talk to, LJ.

1604
01:39:07,403 --> 01:39:11,198
Ass... hole.

1605
01:39:16,912 --> 01:39:18,790
I know.

1606
01:39:34,889 --> 01:39:37,058
F-O-C-K...

1607
01:39:37,142 --> 01:39:38,435
Fock-kare.

1608
01:39:39,019 --> 01:39:42,147
Hey, it's Jack.
Hey, Jack. Jack.

1609
01:39:44,274 --> 01:39:45,650
Jack.

1610
01:39:45,734 --> 01:39:46,985
Halt.

1611
01:39:47,068 --> 01:39:50,071
- Jack. Jack.
- Jack.

1612
01:39:50,989 --> 01:39:53,033
Weaver stance.

1613
01:39:55,285 --> 01:39:56,870
Oh, my God. You shot my son.

1614
01:39:56,953 --> 01:39:58,455
Halt.

1615
01:39:58,538 --> 01:40:02,626
Your son has merely been stunned
by a less-than-lethal weapon.

1616
01:40:05,003 --> 01:40:07,922
Remain calm.
50,000 volts of electricity

1617
01:40:08,006 --> 01:40:11,009
are now passing into
your skeletal muscle tissue.

1618
01:40:11,092 --> 01:40:13,637
Your nervous system
has been incapacitated,

1619
01:40:13,720 --> 01:40:17,098
but you will regain
motor functions momentarily.

1620
01:40:20,602 --> 01:40:23,605
Do you mind telling me
why you are arresting these men?

1621
01:40:23,688 --> 01:40:27,026
Oh, mercy.
It just gets better and better.

1622
01:40:27,109 --> 01:40:29,945
That is none of your business,
lookie-loo.

1623
01:40:30,029 --> 01:40:31,697
- Gay?
- Return to your camper.

1624
01:40:31,781 --> 01:40:33,407
At ease. Put away the TASER.

1625
01:40:33,491 --> 01:40:36,786
- Jack Byrnes, CIA.
- Cl-what?

1626
01:40:36,869 --> 01:40:41,040
It says here you're retired.
What you gonna show me now, old timer?

1627
01:40:41,123 --> 01:40:45,169
- Your AARP card?
- You listen to me. Listen good.

1628
01:40:45,252 --> 01:40:47,421
- What's he doing?
- Don't worry.

1629
01:40:47,505 --> 01:40:49,715
- He'll get us out of this.
- You have...

1630
01:40:49,799 --> 01:40:52,760
- Stand down, sir.
- I will not. You stand down.

1631
01:40:52,843 --> 01:40:54,804
- I will not stand down.
- You will.

1632
01:40:54,887 --> 01:40:57,932
Or you'll be working security
in a retirement home.

1633
01:40:58,015 --> 01:40:59,393
Remain calm.

1634
01:41:00,018 --> 01:41:02,896
It's been an hour.
You think they caught up with him?

1635
01:41:02,980 --> 01:41:04,982
I'm sure, sweetheart.

1636
01:41:05,065 --> 01:41:08,151
If I know Bernie,
they're in a café in Little Havana,

1637
01:41:08,235 --> 01:41:11,238
eating chimichangas
and working out their issues.

1638
01:41:20,622 --> 01:41:24,209
Check it out.
He's got a rubber booby.

1639
01:41:38,224 --> 01:41:41,185
- What's going on?
- I talked to Judge Goldfarb.

1640
01:41:41,269 --> 01:41:42,812
It's done. We're out.

1641
01:41:42,895 --> 01:41:45,898
- You were making our call.
- I ran into the judge.

1642
01:41:45,982 --> 01:41:49,694
- I took care of everything.
- Yeah, right.

1643
01:41:49,777 --> 01:41:51,404
What are you saying, Jack?

1644
01:41:51,487 --> 01:41:55,700
If you had kept your mouth shut,
we wouldn't be in this mess.

1645
01:41:55,783 --> 01:41:58,202
I'm a lawyer.
I'm trying to get us out.

1646
01:41:58,286 --> 01:42:00,371
Give the judge your fondue recipe?

1647
01:42:00,455 --> 01:42:03,541
I'm comfortable enough in my skin
to cook for my family.

1648
01:42:03,624 --> 01:42:06,085
When did you last give Dina
breakfast in bed?

1649
01:42:06,169 --> 01:42:08,504
When did you last give her
anything in bed?

1650
01:42:08,588 --> 01:42:10,882
- You're out of line.
- You are out of line.

1651
01:42:10,965 --> 01:42:12,759
- You are.
- You hurt my feelings.

1652
01:42:12,842 --> 01:42:15,261
There is no reason
to hurt my feelings.

1653
01:42:15,345 --> 01:42:17,221
- Stop it.
- He insulted me.

1654
01:42:17,305 --> 01:42:19,807
Yeah, well,
this isn't about you, all right?

1655
01:42:19,891 --> 01:42:22,352
Either of you.
It's about me and Pam.

1656
01:42:22,435 --> 01:42:24,896
We're getting married. That's it.

1657
01:42:24,979 --> 01:42:29,067
We're starting our own Circle of Trust
and guess what, you're not in it.

1658
01:42:29,150 --> 01:42:31,944
You can't start a Circle of Trust.
It's my circle.

1659
01:42:32,028 --> 01:42:34,113
You don't have
a patent on the circle.

1660
01:42:34,197 --> 01:42:36,783
And you're not in your own circle
right now.

1661
01:42:36,866 --> 01:42:40,162
That is untrue.
I say who's in or out of the circle.

1662
01:42:41,038 --> 01:42:43,499
I'm confused.
Whose circle am I in?

1663
01:42:45,459 --> 01:42:47,461
Nobody's.

1664
01:42:54,468 --> 01:42:56,762
Look, we're starting a family, OK?

1665
01:42:56,845 --> 01:43:00,099
We're gonna have a baby.
I have a 15-year-old son.

1666
01:43:00,182 --> 01:43:02,601
You guys have
gotta put aside your issues

1667
01:43:02,685 --> 01:43:05,229
and do what's best for us, OK?

1668
01:43:06,563 --> 01:43:09,650
- Greg, Jorge's not your son.
- What?

1669
01:43:09,733 --> 01:43:13,822
I had a comparative DNA analysis
conducted and I made a mistake.

1670
01:43:13,905 --> 01:43:15,573
You made a mistake?

1671
01:43:15,657 --> 01:43:17,659
- Yes, I did.
- Wait a minute.

1672
01:43:17,742 --> 01:43:21,037
Truth serum, DNA matches.
Who the hell are you, Jack Byrnes?

1673
01:43:21,121 --> 01:43:25,166
I'm not really a florist, Bernard.
I was in the CIA for 32 years.

1674
01:43:25,250 --> 01:43:27,502
I retired right before I met Greg.

1675
01:43:27,585 --> 01:43:30,297
Oh, sure.
Well, that makes sense.

1676
01:43:33,091 --> 01:43:35,593
Bernie, why the heck
are you still here?

1677
01:43:35,677 --> 01:43:38,972
- Ira.
- Cletus, open up. Let these guys out.

1678
01:43:39,055 --> 01:43:41,224
Judge, what exactly did he say to you?

1679
01:43:41,308 --> 01:43:45,020
He didn't have to say anything.
Dr Roz saved my marriage.

1680
01:43:45,103 --> 01:43:47,188
I'd do anything for that woman.

1681
01:43:47,272 --> 01:43:50,735
You tell Sugar Pants
I'll see her in class next week.

1682
01:43:50,818 --> 01:43:52,445
Will do, Ira. Thanks.

1683
01:43:52,987 --> 01:43:55,906
What can I say?
I'm married to a very powerful woman.

1684
01:43:55,990 --> 01:43:58,075
- All right. Let's go.
- Excuse me.

1685
01:43:58,159 --> 01:44:01,662
- Could you close the cell door?
- You wanna remain in the cell?

1686
01:44:01,746 --> 01:44:03,956
We're not done talking yet.

1687
01:44:05,333 --> 01:44:07,043
What?

1688
01:44:07,126 --> 01:44:11,213
So what do you think?
Can we work this out or not?

1689
01:44:13,132 --> 01:44:14,175
OK.

1690
01:44:15,259 --> 01:44:16,302
Jack?

1691
01:44:18,012 --> 01:44:19,639
I don't know.

1692
01:44:19,722 --> 01:44:21,474
Good enough.

1693
01:44:21,557 --> 01:44:25,686
All right. I think Pam and I
should get married this weekend.

1694
01:44:25,770 --> 01:44:28,147
I'm not so sure that's a good idea.

1695
01:44:28,230 --> 01:44:31,275
- You wanna be in the circle?
- OK, this weekend.

1696
01:44:31,359 --> 01:44:33,319
Jack.

1697
01:44:38,741 --> 01:44:41,494
I think I can get Judge Ira
to marry you guys.

1698
01:44:41,577 --> 01:44:44,205
I don't think so,
If it's all right with you,

1699
01:44:44,288 --> 01:44:46,415
I already have a minister in mind.

1700
01:45:02,265 --> 01:45:03,809
Oh, God, Daddy, you didn't?

1701
01:45:03,892 --> 01:45:06,228
Meeting Greg
made an impression on Kevin.

1702
01:45:06,311 --> 01:45:08,438
He spent eight months on a kibbutz,

1703
01:45:08,522 --> 01:45:12,234
took an internet course and got ordained
as an interfaith minister.

1704
01:45:14,027 --> 01:45:17,489
Jack told me that you were OK
with me conducting the ceremony.

1705
01:45:17,572 --> 01:45:21,243
- I hope that's true.
- I think it's great you're doing it.

1706
01:45:25,497 --> 01:45:27,749
I mean, it is a little weird.

1707
01:45:27,833 --> 01:45:29,836
Listen to me when I say this.

1708
01:45:29,919 --> 01:45:31,713
Pam and I did not have one-tenth

1709
01:45:31,796 --> 01:45:34,799
of the spiritual connection
you two obviously share.

1710
01:45:34,882 --> 01:45:38,261
I look at you both together
and you're beautiful. I get it.

1711
01:45:38,344 --> 01:45:39,887
- OK?
- OK.

1712
01:45:39,971 --> 01:45:42,348
- Thank you, Kevin.
- Thank you, Greg.

1713
01:45:50,064 --> 01:45:52,442
You're gonna be a great mom, Pamcake.

1714
01:45:54,402 --> 01:45:56,112
Thank you, Daddy.

1715
01:46:20,763 --> 01:46:23,265
And who gives this woman to this man?

1716
01:46:23,349 --> 01:46:26,769
I do. Jack Tiberius Byrnes.

1717
01:46:36,612 --> 01:46:38,822
Daddy.

1718
01:46:41,784 --> 01:46:43,369
- Sorry, Greg.
- OK.

1719
01:46:44,203 --> 01:46:46,205
She's all yours now.

1720
01:46:53,379 --> 01:46:55,547
That was sweet, honey.
You all right?

1721
01:46:55,631 --> 01:46:59,009
- Shalom, everyone.
- Shalom.

1722
01:47:01,637 --> 01:47:04,390
Which is Hebrew
for "What's going on?"

1723
01:47:06,016 --> 01:47:08,852
Let us begin
with the blessing of the wine.

1724
01:47:25,829 --> 01:47:29,541
Amen.

1725
01:47:35,839 --> 01:47:37,299
- Kevin.
- What?

1726
01:47:37,382 --> 01:47:39,467
Yeah, go ahead.

1727
01:47:57,236 --> 01:47:58,321
Well, hi.

1728
01:47:58,404 --> 01:48:00,281
- Rosalind.
- Yeah?

1729
01:48:00,364 --> 01:48:03,034
I just have to say,
I underestimated you.

1730
01:48:04,452 --> 01:48:06,329
When it comes to relationships,

1731
01:48:06,412 --> 01:48:08,998
you might know
what you're talking about.

1732
01:48:11,083 --> 01:48:13,919
I appreciate that, Jack.
Really, thank you.

1733
01:48:14,003 --> 01:48:17,466
I also was curious about the advice
you gave Judge Ira.

1734
01:48:18,634 --> 01:48:22,054
Is that classified information?

1735
01:48:22,137 --> 01:48:24,431
I thought you'd never ask.

1736
01:48:24,514 --> 01:48:28,060
I'm gonna give you a crash course.
OK?

1737
01:48:28,143 --> 01:48:29,770
Come here.

1738
01:48:32,105 --> 01:48:34,191
Really?

1739
01:48:38,612 --> 01:48:41,823
And I do that
for how many minutes?

1740
01:48:42,658 --> 01:48:44,868
There's my brother
from another mother.

1741
01:48:46,244 --> 01:48:49,373
Congratulations, Jacko.
We made it.

1742
01:48:50,290 --> 01:48:52,292
Put that away, Bernard.

1743
01:48:55,420 --> 01:48:57,422
We're family now.

1744
01:49:01,760 --> 01:49:03,512
We're family.

1745
01:49:03,595 --> 01:49:07,516
If you'll excuse me, I have some
unfinished business to take care of.

1746
01:49:12,020 --> 01:49:13,772
Go get her, Tiger.

1747
01:49:16,400 --> 01:49:19,528
- We Fockerised him.
- We sure did.

1748
01:49:19,611 --> 01:49:21,863
I'd like to Fockerise you.

1749
01:49:43,803 --> 01:49:46,139
Sweetheart, do we have
to hurry like this?

1750
01:49:46,222 --> 01:49:47,849
We're on a covert operation.

1751
01:49:47,932 --> 01:49:52,228
The bandleader told me we have
23 minutes before they cut the cake.

1752
01:49:57,233 --> 01:49:59,194
Jack, what are you doing?

1753
01:49:59,278 --> 01:50:01,739
A little trick Bernie taught me.

1754
01:50:26,639 --> 01:50:31,895
Now, let's find out, LJ,
why the Ferber method isn't working.

1755
01:50:36,941 --> 01:50:38,485
Hi, baby.

1756
01:50:38,568 --> 01:50:43,281
Hi, Little Jack. OK.
Look what I brought you.

1757
01:50:43,365 --> 01:50:45,241
What did I bring?

1758
01:50:45,325 --> 01:50:50,163
A chocolate for the baby.

1759
01:50:50,246 --> 01:50:52,040
Is that good?

1760
01:50:52,123 --> 01:50:54,000
You're not supposed to have this.

1761
01:50:54,084 --> 01:50:57,045
Grandpa Jack doesn't like chocolate.
He's wacko.

1762
01:50:57,128 --> 01:50:58,797
Don't tell him, OK?

1763
01:50:58,880 --> 01:51:00,882
I got cake in the refrigerator.

1764
01:51:00,965 --> 01:51:03,593
Later I'll bring you that, OK?
Chocolate cake.

1765
01:51:03,677 --> 01:51:06,471
Good boy.
But don't tell anyone, OK?

1766
01:51:06,554 --> 01:51:09,265
OK. One more.

1767
01:51:11,393 --> 01:51:13,103
Yell and scream all you want.

1768
01:51:13,186 --> 01:51:15,563
Making noise
is what this country's about.

1769
01:51:15,647 --> 01:51:17,941
We got a little protestor on our hands.

1770
01:51:18,024 --> 01:51:21,736
It figures. I should have known
this was gonna go on.

1771
01:51:21,820 --> 01:51:23,405
Always question authority.

1772
01:51:23,488 --> 01:51:26,282
Question everything
El Stiffo Grandpa Jack says.

1773
01:51:26,366 --> 01:51:28,410
Know why?
Because he's full of...

1774
01:51:28,493 --> 01:51:30,495
He's full of...

1775
01:51:31,538 --> 01:51:33,498
Grandpa Jack is full of...

1776
01:51:37,210 --> 01:51:39,213
Grandpa Jack is full of...

1777
01:51:44,635 --> 01:51:47,680
There he is. Little man Jack.

1778
01:51:47,763 --> 01:51:49,140
How you doing?

1779
01:51:49,223 --> 01:51:51,392
Can I interest you
in a little wodka?

1780
01:51:51,475 --> 01:51:53,686
Just kidding.

1781
01:51:53,769 --> 01:51:55,604
I'm officially your uncle now

1782
01:51:55,688 --> 01:51:59,525
so I was thinking I should
give you some uncle-y advice.

1783
01:51:59,608 --> 01:52:01,694
Hints for surviving in this family.

1784
01:52:01,777 --> 01:52:05,197
You gotta learn to keep secrets
from your psycho Grandpa Jack.

1785
01:52:05,281 --> 01:52:07,908
He was upset when
you got out of the playpen.

1786
01:52:07,992 --> 01:52:12,330
We'd never tell him that instead of
watching you, I was out by the lagoon,

1787
01:52:12,413 --> 01:52:14,499
smoking a little reefer.

1788
01:52:16,918 --> 01:52:20,797
Or that whole thing
about Pam being pregnant.

1789
01:52:20,881 --> 01:52:22,966
There's no little Focker
on the way.

1790
01:52:23,050 --> 01:52:26,303
The whole thing was made up
so Jack would let us get married.

1791
01:52:26,386 --> 01:52:28,930
You got to do what you gotta do, right?

1792
01:52:29,014 --> 01:52:32,601
That's cute.
It's like an alligator tchotchke thing.

1793
01:52:32,684 --> 01:52:36,271
What's that in its mouth?
It's got a camera.

1794
01:52:38,523 --> 01:52:39,858
Busted.

1795
01:52:41,943 --> 01:52:44,237
Hi, Jack.
I knew you were there all along.

1796
01:52:44,321 --> 01:52:47,075
I was just
doing a little show for you.

1797
01:52:47,158 --> 01:52:50,495
You know I don't smoke pot, or anything.
And Pam is pregnant.

1798
01:52:50,578 --> 01:52:52,872
You should have seen
the look on your face.

1799
01:52:52,955 --> 01:52:56,417
- So good.
- Ass... hole.

1800
01:52:58,127 --> 01:53:00,338
Look at me, Jack. What am I?

1801
01:53:04,342 --> 01:53:06,260
I'm a frozen caveman.

1802
01:53:06,344 --> 01:53:07,887
Study me, Jack.

1803
01:53:07,971 --> 01:53:11,683
Learn how strange
the Focker genetic code is.

1804
01:53:11,766 --> 01:53:14,018
We are weird mutants
who hug and kiss.

1805
01:53:14,102 --> 01:53:16,104
We show emotion.

1806
01:53:16,187 --> 01:53:20,191
Jack must learn from us and chip away
with his hammer of truth.

1807
01:53:20,274 --> 01:53:21,693
Focker.