1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:05,129 [bright tone] 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:10,199 - 'Bout to get it started, man. Gonna be good. 5 00:00:10,220 --> 00:00:12,130 Here we go, baby! - Hey, George! 6 00:00:12,150 --> 00:00:14,039 - All right! - How y'all doin', what's up? 7 00:00:14,060 --> 00:00:15,220 - What's happening? Everybody all right? 8 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:17,079 - What's up, boy? - Kennedy Center, man. 9 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:18,149 - Yeah, that's it. 10 00:00:18,170 --> 00:00:20,010 - Hey, we're live on HBO right now! 11 00:00:20,030 --> 00:00:21,179 - Yeah, baby! - You been to 12 00:00:21,199 --> 00:00:23,149 the Kennedy Center before? - This place is the greatest. 13 00:00:23,170 --> 00:00:24,179 That's why it's named after JFK. 14 00:00:24,199 --> 00:00:25,280 Where you from, Ben? 15 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,280 - From Koreatown, L.A., baby. - What's up? 16 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,260 - Yeah, man, all right. - K-town, dog. 17 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:31,239 - And your moms? - Mom's from Seoul, South Korea. 18 00:00:31,260 --> 00:00:33,229 She came here...20 bucks, you know what I'm saying? 19 00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:36,039 - That's how we do it. That's how the immigrants do it. 20 00:00:36,060 --> 00:00:37,259 That's what makes America great. - It is, man. 21 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:40,140 It's what it's all about. Great right here. 22 00:00:40,159 --> 00:00:42,119 I'm just glad to be at the Kennedy Center, 23 00:00:42,140 --> 00:00:44,140 you know, where I came through the back. 24 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:46,070 I came in the back door, 25 00:00:46,090 --> 00:00:48,289 but I chose to be stopped. It was... 26 00:00:49,009 --> 00:00:50,289 - I went through the kitchen. Nobody ever stopped me. 27 00:00:51,009 --> 00:00:52,270 - [laughs] You know what, seriously, though? 28 00:00:52,289 --> 00:00:54,219 We're meant to be here. - Yeah, man. 29 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:57,009 - Homies. You're my homies. - You got work to do, bro. 30 00:00:57,030 --> 00:00:58,219 - What's up, Carlos Santana? Hope you're watching, man. 31 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,100 - Yeah, man. - Let's go. 32 00:01:00,119 --> 00:01:02,289 - Ready to do this? We're live right here. 33 00:01:03,009 --> 00:01:04,280 Ladies and gentlemen... 34 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,049 [crowd screaming] 35 00:01:07,069 --> 00:01:09,150 Welcome to the stage... 36 00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:12,200 live from D.C. at the Kennedy Center... 37 00:01:12,219 --> 00:01:16,099 [cheers and applause] 38 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:18,170 George Lopez! 39 00:01:18,189 --> 00:01:21,250 [cheers and applause] 40 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:49,259 - Hi! 41 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:52,129 [cheers and applause] 42 00:01:52,150 --> 00:01:55,049 The Mexican flag right there! 43 00:01:55,069 --> 00:01:58,049 Orale! 44 00:01:58,069 --> 00:02:01,090 [Valley accent] I mean, oh, my God, hi. 45 00:02:06,269 --> 00:02:08,250 [speaking Spanish] 46 00:02:08,270 --> 00:02:11,030 [crowd responds, cheers] 47 00:02:11,050 --> 00:02:15,039 I better be speaking some Spanish tonight. 48 00:02:15,060 --> 00:02:18,110 [loud cheers] 49 00:02:18,129 --> 00:02:20,099 [laughter] 50 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:23,240 I'll sprinkle in some English... 51 00:02:23,259 --> 00:02:25,150 for the seven Caucasians that are here. 52 00:02:25,170 --> 00:02:27,280 Thank you so much. [laughter] 53 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,280 [Anglo voice] I married into the family, 54 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:31,240 so I have to be here. 55 00:02:33,219 --> 00:02:38,079 This is one of the greatest places 56 00:02:38,099 --> 00:02:41,110 to perform anywhere in the world, 57 00:02:41,129 --> 00:02:43,189 the Kennedy Center. 58 00:02:49,199 --> 00:02:51,129 I've been here... 59 00:02:51,150 --> 00:02:54,189 [cheers and applause continue] 60 00:02:59,129 --> 00:03:03,120 I know. I know, huh? 61 00:03:03,139 --> 00:03:05,080 I've been here ten times 62 00:03:05,099 --> 00:03:08,169 and standing here looking at who's here, 63 00:03:08,189 --> 00:03:13,000 this fucking place has never looked like this. 64 00:03:13,020 --> 00:03:15,270 Calor! 65 00:03:15,289 --> 00:03:18,039 Afro-Americano, Dominicano, 66 00:03:18,060 --> 00:03:20,270 Boricua, Mejicano, 67 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,039 Chino, Latino! 68 00:03:23,060 --> 00:03:25,189 [mouthing] 69 00:03:25,210 --> 00:03:27,240 [laughter] 70 00:03:27,259 --> 00:03:28,259 - We love you, George! 71 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:30,030 We love you! - Thank you. 72 00:03:30,050 --> 00:03:31,199 I love you too. [speaking Spanish] 73 00:03:31,219 --> 00:03:33,000 You might meet somebody better, though. 74 00:03:33,020 --> 00:03:35,139 Save it. 75 00:03:35,159 --> 00:03:37,020 Listen... 76 00:03:37,039 --> 00:03:38,170 this is my fourth live-- 77 00:03:38,189 --> 00:03:40,050 but here's what happened today. 78 00:03:40,069 --> 00:03:42,189 Like, you get in the elevator and, you know, you're there, 79 00:03:42,210 --> 00:03:45,139 and this lady's looking at me and she's like, 80 00:03:45,159 --> 00:03:47,210 "I know you." And I'm like... 81 00:03:47,229 --> 00:03:50,229 I'm like, "Yeah." She goes, "Yes, I... 82 00:03:50,250 --> 00:03:55,129 God, I don't have a signal, or I would Google you. Ah..." 83 00:03:58,270 --> 00:04:01,060 She goes, "Yes, I know you." You know what I told her? 84 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:03,199 I told her, "I put in your driveway." 85 00:04:03,219 --> 00:04:06,219 [laughter] 86 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:08,120 You know what that fucking lady said? 87 00:04:08,139 --> 00:04:12,169 "Yes! Yes, you did. 88 00:04:12,189 --> 00:04:14,129 "Yes! 89 00:04:14,150 --> 00:04:16,170 I never got a chance to thank you." 90 00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:19,170 I said, "Yeah, but I didn't do it alone." 91 00:04:19,189 --> 00:04:23,019 [muttering] 92 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,230 She said, "Can you put in a fountain on Monday?" 93 00:04:25,250 --> 00:04:27,250 I said... 94 00:04:27,269 --> 00:04:32,009 I say what all the workers say: [speaking Spanish] 95 00:04:32,029 --> 00:04:34,100 You can do it. 96 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:36,259 So I'm doing this special live tonight. 97 00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:40,199 Then tomorrow... [loud cheering] 98 00:04:40,220 --> 00:04:43,090 Then tomorrow I'm off... 99 00:04:43,110 --> 00:04:46,170 and then Monday I'm putting in the fountain [speaks Spanish]. 100 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,290 Let me tell you something about this fuckin'-- 101 00:04:53,009 --> 00:04:54,259 First of all, let me tell you something about-- 102 00:04:54,279 --> 00:04:57,250 I know everybody is--but Donald Trump--fuck that puto. 103 00:04:57,269 --> 00:04:59,079 [loud cheers, screams] Fuck him. 104 00:04:59,100 --> 00:05:00,180 Fuck him. 105 00:05:00,199 --> 00:05:04,240 In case there was any question, fuck him! 106 00:05:06,060 --> 00:05:09,040 Fuck him today, fuck him tomorrow, 107 00:05:09,060 --> 00:05:11,139 and fuck him 3 1/2 years from now. 108 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:14,170 [cheers and applause] 109 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:22,220 And if you voted for him, fuck you today, 110 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:23,279 fuck you tomorrow, 111 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:27,019 and fuck you three years from now. 112 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:35,050 [Anglo voice] Oh, my God, it's so exciting. 113 00:05:35,069 --> 00:05:37,079 So if you hear I died tomorrow morning, 114 00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:39,129 I didn't O.D., all right? 115 00:05:42,170 --> 00:05:45,110 Listen, that's what you get when you're an American. 116 00:05:45,129 --> 00:05:47,259 You get freedom of speech, you get the First Amendment, 117 00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:50,040 you're wrapped around the flag, everybody's created equal. 118 00:05:50,060 --> 00:05:55,029 There are no minorities because we're all equal! 119 00:05:55,050 --> 00:05:58,230 [cheers and applause] 120 00:05:58,250 --> 00:06:01,220 The word "minority" needs to disappear. 121 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:03,240 If we're all created equal, take "minority" out. 122 00:06:03,259 --> 00:06:05,060 I don't wanna be called a minority, 123 00:06:05,079 --> 00:06:06,259 because that means I'm less than you. 124 00:06:06,279 --> 00:06:09,180 You're calling me a minority, you think I'm less than you. 125 00:06:09,199 --> 00:06:10,269 I'ma tell you something right now. 126 00:06:10,290 --> 00:06:12,199 You call me a minority, you will lose 127 00:06:12,220 --> 00:06:15,129 a majority of your fuckin' dientes, all right? 128 00:06:15,149 --> 00:06:17,069 I'll knock your fucking teeth out. 129 00:06:17,089 --> 00:06:18,290 How about that one? 130 00:06:19,009 --> 00:06:21,019 You can smile like that. 131 00:06:25,029 --> 00:06:27,110 There's tension in the air. Mira. 132 00:06:27,129 --> 00:06:29,089 There's tension. 133 00:06:29,110 --> 00:06:32,060 I'm a Mexican-American. 134 00:06:32,079 --> 00:06:34,100 We're in D.C. 135 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:36,149 You got a guy that's president 136 00:06:36,170 --> 00:06:40,250 that questioned Barack Obama's citizenship for eight years. 137 00:06:40,269 --> 00:06:43,009 He said he wasn't a citizen. It's like, you know what? 138 00:06:43,029 --> 00:06:46,050 You're not really orange, so sit the fuck down. 139 00:06:46,069 --> 00:06:48,000 [laughter] 140 00:06:48,019 --> 00:06:50,269 All right? Orale, spray tan. Orale. 141 00:06:50,290 --> 00:06:52,159 Donald Trump is so orange, 142 00:06:52,180 --> 00:06:56,000 the first time my tio saw him, he tried to pick him. 143 00:06:56,019 --> 00:06:58,029 He was like, "That's... 144 00:06:58,050 --> 00:06:59,199 "That's the biggest orange I've ever seen." 145 00:06:59,220 --> 00:07:01,250 "Tio, that's not an orange." [speaking Spanish] 146 00:07:01,269 --> 00:07:03,220 "Where's that tree? Where's that tree? 147 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:06,009 Because I'm going. Where's that tree?" 148 00:07:09,250 --> 00:07:11,100 The wall. Everybody's talking about the wall. 149 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:13,139 They ask me, "How do you feel about the wall?" 150 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:16,269 I say, "You know what? We'll get over it." 151 00:07:16,290 --> 00:07:18,279 [murmurs] 152 00:07:20,279 --> 00:07:22,290 [cheers and applause] 153 00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:26,160 You think that's the answer? A fucking wall? 154 00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:28,009 Listen, people in Mexico, 155 00:07:28,029 --> 00:07:30,240 they got the Internet and airplanes, puto. 156 00:07:30,259 --> 00:07:32,189 They got... 157 00:07:32,209 --> 00:07:35,040 We can fly over the wall. 158 00:07:38,180 --> 00:07:40,029 What about the President of Mexico? 159 00:07:40,050 --> 00:07:42,019 Donald Trump told the President of Mexico, 160 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:46,079 "Stop saying that you won't pay for the wall... 161 00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:48,259 'cause it makes me look bad. Just say you're gonna do it." 162 00:07:48,279 --> 00:07:50,100 And the President of Mexico said... 163 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:52,139 [speaking Spanish] 164 00:07:53,209 --> 00:07:55,180 [speaking Spanish] 165 00:07:55,199 --> 00:07:58,170 And Donald Trump's like, "Great, we agree." 166 00:08:02,050 --> 00:08:03,199 I'ma tell Donald Trump something right now-- 167 00:08:03,220 --> 00:08:05,019 "Hey, you wanna make America great? 168 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:07,079 Fuckin' resign." 169 00:08:07,100 --> 00:08:09,230 [loud cheering] 170 00:08:09,250 --> 00:08:13,029 Resign! 171 00:08:13,050 --> 00:08:17,019 And take the fuckin' rugrats with you, ese. 172 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:21,189 The stork and the two sons. 173 00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:24,029 And the son-in-law, vato, 174 00:08:24,050 --> 00:08:27,189 fuckin'...Jack Scary. 175 00:08:27,209 --> 00:08:30,290 [laughter] 176 00:08:31,009 --> 00:08:33,120 Listen. Latinos always hire people 177 00:08:33,139 --> 00:08:35,039 when they work but they're not as fucked up 178 00:08:35,059 --> 00:08:36,190 as that four. 179 00:08:36,210 --> 00:08:38,200 Least we have a skill. 180 00:08:38,220 --> 00:08:40,029 Let me tell you something, 181 00:08:40,049 --> 00:08:41,210 this wall right here-- 30 million. 182 00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:43,049 I'ma tell you something right now. 183 00:08:43,070 --> 00:08:45,269 I can do it cheaper, all right? 184 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:54,120 I just put a driveway in. 185 00:08:54,139 --> 00:08:57,190 I'm putting in a fountain on Monday. 186 00:08:57,210 --> 00:09:00,100 I'm your man! 187 00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:05,279 Really, I'm not--I'm not the man, because we're assimilated. 188 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,279 Here's the thing. I have a lot of respect. 189 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,269 I'm assimilated because, you know, I was born here. 190 00:09:10,289 --> 00:09:13,059 But I have respect for people who come from other countries, 191 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:15,269 who come to America who want to live a better life. 192 00:09:15,289 --> 00:09:18,029 That's what made America America-- 193 00:09:18,049 --> 00:09:20,169 immigrants. Your great-grandfathers. 194 00:09:20,190 --> 00:09:23,070 Your great-great-grandfathers. 195 00:09:26,129 --> 00:09:29,210 How can anyone seriously stand there and say, 196 00:09:29,230 --> 00:09:31,210 "Go back to where you came from"? 197 00:09:31,230 --> 00:09:34,029 Why don't you fucking go back to where you came from? 198 00:09:34,049 --> 00:09:37,240 "I'm from Connecticut." "No, no. 199 00:09:37,259 --> 00:09:39,269 Further back." 200 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,159 "Maine?" 201 00:09:44,179 --> 00:09:47,240 Immigrants are not the problem that America has, okay? 202 00:09:47,259 --> 00:09:49,210 We're not the problem. 203 00:09:49,230 --> 00:09:51,259 You have to stop blaming America's troubles 204 00:09:51,279 --> 00:09:53,230 on immigrants 205 00:09:53,250 --> 00:09:57,179 because they do the shit that nobody wants to do. 206 00:09:57,200 --> 00:10:00,190 You think that we're lazy? Let me tell you something. 207 00:10:00,210 --> 00:10:03,070 First they say fucking immigrants are lazy 208 00:10:03,090 --> 00:10:04,230 and they're stealing jobs. 209 00:10:04,250 --> 00:10:07,179 You can't be both. 210 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:11,250 So...decide which one it is. 211 00:10:11,269 --> 00:10:15,120 'Cause you can't be lazy and steal a job. 212 00:10:18,289 --> 00:10:20,129 But if you wanted to steal a job, 213 00:10:20,149 --> 00:10:24,059 there's one about a mile away you could fucking snatch. 214 00:10:27,169 --> 00:10:29,139 Lazy and--we're not lazy. 215 00:10:29,159 --> 00:10:32,000 Let me tell you something. It's hard to convince Latinos 216 00:10:32,019 --> 00:10:35,139 the shit that other people miss work for. 217 00:10:39,070 --> 00:10:42,070 Chronic fatigue syndrome. 218 00:10:42,090 --> 00:10:44,279 [laughter] 219 00:10:46,070 --> 00:10:49,149 "Que es eso?" 220 00:10:49,169 --> 00:10:52,159 "I have chronic fatigue syndrome." 221 00:10:59,250 --> 00:11:02,139 "You're always tired?" 222 00:11:02,159 --> 00:11:03,220 "Yes!" 223 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:10,210 "And you only have one job?" 224 00:11:10,230 --> 00:11:12,220 [laughter] 225 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:15,159 [cheers and applause] 226 00:11:20,169 --> 00:11:23,149 Repetitive motion. 227 00:11:23,169 --> 00:11:26,139 You're missing work because you have to do a repetitive motion. 228 00:11:26,159 --> 00:11:28,289 [chuckles] 229 00:11:29,009 --> 00:11:32,009 "My boss just expects so much for me." 230 00:11:32,029 --> 00:11:35,210 "Yeah, fuck, mine too." 231 00:11:35,230 --> 00:11:37,070 Don't fuck with those people, 232 00:11:37,090 --> 00:11:39,070 because they can't be taking jobs. 233 00:11:39,090 --> 00:11:40,279 Let me tell you something. Just 'cause you don't 234 00:11:41,009 --> 00:11:42,210 wanna work the hours they work, 235 00:11:42,230 --> 00:11:45,169 don't say that they're stealing jobs. 236 00:11:45,190 --> 00:11:47,200 I got on an elevator at 2:30 in the morning 237 00:11:47,220 --> 00:11:49,090 and I said, "Ah, you're working late." 238 00:11:49,110 --> 00:11:50,289 [speaking Spanish] 239 00:11:51,009 --> 00:11:54,100 Why would I even assume that somebody at 2:30 spoke English? 240 00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:57,000 Come on! [laughter] 241 00:11:57,019 --> 00:12:00,019 [speaking Spanish] 242 00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:03,000 "Can you please number five?" "Five? 243 00:12:03,019 --> 00:12:05,110 Okay, five!" [speaking Spanish] 244 00:12:08,110 --> 00:12:11,200 For $30 billion, 245 00:12:11,220 --> 00:12:14,080 you could get Latinos in Mexico 246 00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:17,289 to line up and be their own wall. 247 00:12:18,009 --> 00:12:19,269 "You get paid. Aguanta right here. 248 00:12:19,289 --> 00:12:23,220 "You want $500? Stand right here. 249 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:27,289 "Line up! $500. 500, 500, 500. 250 00:12:28,009 --> 00:12:29,200 "Don't let nobody pass, or they're gonna get mad. 251 00:12:29,220 --> 00:12:32,080 That man's gonna get mad." 252 00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:33,250 After eight hours... [speaking Spanish] 253 00:12:33,269 --> 00:12:35,169 "You're next. Go right there." 254 00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:41,169 The wall. That's the answer. 255 00:12:41,190 --> 00:12:43,159 That's the big answer. That's the big... 256 00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:45,039 that's gonna cost $30 billion. 257 00:12:45,059 --> 00:12:46,259 We're gonna build a wall. 258 00:12:46,279 --> 00:12:49,059 Why don't you take that $30 billion 259 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:51,139 and give some fresh water for people to drink 260 00:12:51,159 --> 00:12:54,139 and give everybody health care 261 00:12:54,159 --> 00:12:57,279 and take care of the elderly 262 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:01,159 and fix the schools? 263 00:13:01,179 --> 00:13:04,279 And then the rest of us will throw a fucking party. 264 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,009 Wanna throw a party? How much is left over, 265 00:13:07,029 --> 00:13:08,110 18 billion? All right, then. 266 00:13:08,129 --> 00:13:11,090 We can throw a nice party with everything. 267 00:13:11,110 --> 00:13:14,149 No. That's not the answer. 268 00:13:14,169 --> 00:13:16,080 First of all, they say there's 269 00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:19,200 11 million undocumented people in the-- 270 00:13:19,220 --> 00:13:21,179 First of all, no one is illegal. 271 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:24,039 That's number one. No one is illegal. 272 00:13:24,059 --> 00:13:26,059 [cheers and applause] 273 00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:29,149 And it's amazing to me how documented 274 00:13:29,169 --> 00:13:31,210 the undocumented are. 275 00:13:31,230 --> 00:13:34,080 [laughter] 276 00:13:37,029 --> 00:13:38,090 If you're undocumented, 277 00:13:38,110 --> 00:13:40,240 you're not supposed to have documents. 278 00:13:40,259 --> 00:13:42,019 Well, we have documents. 279 00:13:42,039 --> 00:13:43,110 What do you want, my birth certificate? 280 00:13:43,129 --> 00:13:45,169 From what year? Dime. 281 00:13:45,190 --> 00:13:48,120 How old do you want me to be? 282 00:13:48,139 --> 00:13:50,149 Orale. I'm gonna make myself younger. 283 00:13:50,169 --> 00:13:52,080 Stay right there. 284 00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:55,110 Here, take this one and make a copy for everybody over there. 285 00:13:57,169 --> 00:14:00,269 11 million. And the answer...is a wall. 286 00:14:00,289 --> 00:14:03,019 11 million. You know what that's like? 287 00:14:03,039 --> 00:14:06,159 That's like putting a condom on after you fuck. 288 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:09,159 [laughter] 289 00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:15,059 It's out. 290 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:18,159 It's out. Ya salio. It's out. 291 00:14:18,179 --> 00:14:22,080 "Put it back." "I... 292 00:14:22,100 --> 00:14:25,139 I can't put it back." 293 00:14:25,159 --> 00:14:29,009 "Well, turn the pillow over. Come on, let's go." 294 00:14:31,029 --> 00:14:33,129 You don't need less immigrants in this country. 295 00:14:33,149 --> 00:14:36,210 You need more...okay? You need more. 296 00:14:36,230 --> 00:14:38,110 [applause] 297 00:14:38,129 --> 00:14:43,009 Or...raise your own kids, cook your own food. 298 00:14:43,029 --> 00:14:45,250 Pick the grapes for your own fucking wine. 299 00:14:48,210 --> 00:14:51,039 Do Latino lives matter? You're fuckin' right. 300 00:14:51,059 --> 00:14:54,110 If you ever wanna fuckin' eat again, they matter. 301 00:14:54,129 --> 00:14:56,070 You like strawberries? "Don't hurt 'em!" 302 00:14:56,090 --> 00:14:58,000 All right, then. 303 00:15:01,059 --> 00:15:03,200 When I was 13, my grandfather told me, "I got you a job 304 00:15:03,220 --> 00:15:05,259 for the summer." I said, "What is it?" 305 00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:08,230 And he said, "You'll see." And I'm like... 306 00:15:08,250 --> 00:15:11,159 It's never good when he says you'll see. 307 00:15:11,179 --> 00:15:13,159 He said, "You'll see." I said, "Doing what?" 308 00:15:13,179 --> 00:15:15,120 [speaking Spanish] "The van comes, you get in." 309 00:15:15,139 --> 00:15:17,200 Said, "Oh, I'm not getting in." "Yeah, you are." 310 00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:20,220 It was picking tomatoes in Sacramento for the summer. 311 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:23,139 And I said, "I'm not doing it." He goes, "You are." 312 00:15:23,159 --> 00:15:25,049 He said, "You're not Mexican?" and I'm like, 313 00:15:25,070 --> 00:15:27,100 "Yeah, but not like that." 314 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:30,029 [laughter] "All right? 315 00:15:30,049 --> 00:15:32,269 Not like that." 316 00:15:35,190 --> 00:15:37,100 Somebody told me to go back to Mexico. 317 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:39,139 I'm fourth-generation. 318 00:15:39,159 --> 00:15:42,129 I don't know anybody in Mexico! 319 00:15:42,149 --> 00:15:46,049 Be wandering around... "Hey. 320 00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:48,269 How's it goin'?" 321 00:15:48,289 --> 00:15:51,090 "I know you." "Yeah?" 322 00:15:51,110 --> 00:15:53,049 "You look like Cheech fucked Chong." 323 00:15:53,070 --> 00:15:55,139 "What?" 324 00:15:58,029 --> 00:16:00,039 I go to Mexico-- You don't realize 325 00:16:00,059 --> 00:16:02,190 how American you are when you go to Mexico. 326 00:16:02,210 --> 00:16:04,019 You're right there eating in a restaurant. 327 00:16:04,039 --> 00:16:05,149 Everybody's drinking and having fun. 328 00:16:05,169 --> 00:16:07,009 Mariachis and shit. You're the only one... 329 00:16:07,029 --> 00:16:09,269 [Valley accent] "Hi, um... 330 00:16:09,289 --> 00:16:13,230 there's a lot of flies... in here." 331 00:16:13,250 --> 00:16:15,279 [applause] 332 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:19,220 "You don't have screens for any of these windows. 333 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:22,070 "All right, uh... 334 00:16:22,090 --> 00:16:24,049 "and can you tell that kid to stop singing? 335 00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:27,090 "I'm not paying for any of those fuckin' songs. 336 00:16:27,110 --> 00:16:30,110 And I don't want any gum, God damn it!" 337 00:16:33,039 --> 00:16:35,269 We can't go back to Mexico. 338 00:16:35,289 --> 00:16:39,129 That's like taking a lion from the zoo 339 00:16:39,149 --> 00:16:42,159 who's only known the zoo life 340 00:16:42,179 --> 00:16:44,090 and taking the lion to the jungle. 341 00:16:44,110 --> 00:16:46,059 That fucking lion would be... 342 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:48,240 [laughter] 343 00:16:53,090 --> 00:16:56,289 How come it don't smell like popcorn no more? 344 00:16:59,169 --> 00:17:02,009 You hear another lion. [growls] 345 00:17:02,029 --> 00:17:04,049 Fuck...I fuckin'... 346 00:17:04,069 --> 00:17:06,220 I fucking peed. Shit. What's that? 347 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:08,210 That's a lion. Fuck, I don't sound like that. 348 00:17:08,230 --> 00:17:10,230 He's mad. 349 00:17:10,250 --> 00:17:13,089 Where's the lady with the bucket and the meat and the kids? 350 00:17:13,109 --> 00:17:16,170 Hey! 351 00:17:16,190 --> 00:17:18,039 No. 352 00:17:18,059 --> 00:17:20,029 Let me tell you something, this is beautiful-- 353 00:17:20,049 --> 00:17:23,079 The stuff that people have now is really ridiculous. 354 00:17:23,099 --> 00:17:25,069 The way the world is, you know? 355 00:17:25,089 --> 00:17:27,119 Everybody's got shit you give to yourself-- 356 00:17:27,140 --> 00:17:30,200 Anxiety. Everybody has anxiety. 357 00:17:30,220 --> 00:17:33,069 Except Latinos, we don't. 358 00:17:33,089 --> 00:17:37,009 And we're the ones that should. "Who's out--who's out there?" 359 00:17:38,279 --> 00:17:40,230 You see people and you're like, "Are you all right?" 360 00:17:40,250 --> 00:17:43,049 "I have anxiety, all right?" [murmurs] "Fuck... 361 00:17:43,069 --> 00:17:44,119 "Fuckin' take it easy. 362 00:17:44,140 --> 00:17:47,130 You're fucking giving me anxiety--relax" 363 00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:49,220 Then you have anxiety, you either take a pill 364 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:51,220 or you go to the doctor, and they let you 365 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:55,009 carry a fuckin' dog everywhere you go. 366 00:17:55,029 --> 00:17:58,250 That's the cure? A fucking...Pomeranian? 367 00:18:02,069 --> 00:18:03,269 "I'm better." 368 00:18:03,289 --> 00:18:06,039 [mouthing] 369 00:18:06,059 --> 00:18:09,069 [laughter] 370 00:18:10,230 --> 00:18:13,119 [mouthing] 371 00:18:13,140 --> 00:18:15,019 [grunts unintelligibly] 372 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,210 You know what Latinos use for anxiety, 373 00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:20,039 African-American people? [speaks Spanish] 374 00:18:20,059 --> 00:18:22,009 Right here. 375 00:18:22,029 --> 00:18:24,279 [laughter, applause] 376 00:18:30,039 --> 00:18:32,130 "Where's your dog?" "Huh? 377 00:18:32,150 --> 00:18:34,240 My dog? Oh..." 378 00:18:39,289 --> 00:18:44,009 "Oh! Chinga! I sold him and I bought weed." 379 00:18:45,269 --> 00:18:49,039 "The fucker was giving me anxiety." 380 00:18:50,109 --> 00:18:53,210 Chinga with the barkin'! 381 00:18:53,230 --> 00:18:56,049 None of that stuff works. Listen... 382 00:18:56,069 --> 00:18:57,269 this is a great country. 383 00:18:57,289 --> 00:19:00,049 Everybody's different, but you have to live. 384 00:19:00,069 --> 00:19:02,230 Everybody's worried about what the fuck they're eating, 385 00:19:02,250 --> 00:19:05,009 what's in it. You go to a restaurant-- 386 00:19:05,029 --> 00:19:09,029 "Hi, what kind of oil is that?" 387 00:19:09,049 --> 00:19:11,289 "Culo." "Oh. 388 00:19:12,009 --> 00:19:14,250 "Culo. Uh... 389 00:19:14,269 --> 00:19:17,200 Is it fresh?" "Ah..." 390 00:19:21,029 --> 00:19:24,130 "I'm making some right now." 391 00:19:27,170 --> 00:19:29,269 I'm gonna let you in on a trade secret. 392 00:19:29,289 --> 00:19:31,269 I might as well tell you guys, because... 393 00:19:31,289 --> 00:19:35,170 like magicians, Mexicans keep their secrets to themselves. 394 00:19:35,190 --> 00:19:37,069 When you go to a Mexican restaurant 395 00:19:37,089 --> 00:19:40,160 and they tell you that the tostada salad 396 00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:42,279 is gluten-free... 397 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:46,059 [laughter] 398 00:19:46,079 --> 00:19:49,130 It's not. Look at all of--"Shh!" 399 00:19:49,150 --> 00:19:52,259 [speaking Spanish] 400 00:19:55,039 --> 00:19:59,059 I'ma tell you, gluten hasn't hit the Mexican community yet. 401 00:19:59,079 --> 00:20:00,279 But if it's free, fuck it, we'll take it. 402 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,240 "It's free? It's free? 403 00:20:02,259 --> 00:20:05,079 "Get the truck and go get the gluten. 404 00:20:05,099 --> 00:20:06,230 "The man said the gluten is free. 405 00:20:06,250 --> 00:20:08,099 "Go get the gluten! 406 00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:10,190 And ask him if he wants that chair that's on the porch." 407 00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:12,170 [speaking Spanish] 408 00:20:15,099 --> 00:20:17,130 Gluten-free. 409 00:20:17,150 --> 00:20:19,150 Allergies. I was at Disneyland. 410 00:20:19,170 --> 00:20:22,240 This little kid was freaking out, crying, 411 00:20:22,259 --> 00:20:24,200 throwing himself on the ground. 412 00:20:24,220 --> 00:20:27,000 Swallowed his tongue. 413 00:20:27,019 --> 00:20:31,250 Took his helmet off and threw it in disgust... 414 00:20:31,269 --> 00:20:34,230 because his dinner roll 415 00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:37,140 touched the chicken. 416 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:40,289 That's what you're allowing your kids to get away with. 417 00:20:41,009 --> 00:20:43,160 His dinner roll touched the chicken, 418 00:20:43,180 --> 00:20:46,059 and the mom was getting him another dinner 419 00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:49,059 because he doesn't like it when the food touches. 420 00:20:49,079 --> 00:20:52,190 That's the fucking problem with kids today. 421 00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:54,200 That's the fucking problem. 422 00:20:54,220 --> 00:20:57,009 Fuck him and his dinner roll. 423 00:20:57,029 --> 00:20:59,059 [cheers and applause] 424 00:20:59,079 --> 00:21:03,029 We wanted our food to touch, 'cause it looked like more. 425 00:21:03,049 --> 00:21:05,029 Put it all together-- put it like a mountain 426 00:21:05,049 --> 00:21:08,130 or something, it'll make it look like more. 427 00:21:08,150 --> 00:21:10,130 Freaked out. And you know what? 428 00:21:10,150 --> 00:21:14,039 Ask yourselves could you have gotten away with that shit? 429 00:21:14,059 --> 00:21:16,160 - No! - Your mom puts down some food. 430 00:21:16,180 --> 00:21:18,140 She walks by once. 431 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,170 She walks by twice. 432 00:21:25,269 --> 00:21:29,029 [speaking Spanglish] "What's--what happened?" 433 00:21:29,049 --> 00:21:30,230 "I..." 434 00:21:30,250 --> 00:21:32,150 [laughter] 435 00:21:32,170 --> 00:21:34,230 "I can't hear you. What?" 436 00:21:34,250 --> 00:21:36,240 "I don't--I don't..." 437 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:41,250 "I don't like it when the corn tortilla..." 438 00:21:41,269 --> 00:21:45,000 [laughter] 439 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,279 "Touches the carnitas." 440 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:52,009 [laughter] 441 00:21:54,180 --> 00:21:57,059 "Come over here. You gotta hear this one." 442 00:21:57,079 --> 00:21:58,269 And this is when you know you're fucked: 443 00:21:58,289 --> 00:22:01,039 "I didn't hear you. What?" 444 00:22:01,059 --> 00:22:03,279 If they make you say it again, you're fucked. 445 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,240 "I don't like it... 446 00:22:09,259 --> 00:22:13,029 "when the corn tortilla... 447 00:22:13,049 --> 00:22:16,150 touches the carnitas." 448 00:22:16,170 --> 00:22:19,089 "You don't like it... 449 00:22:19,109 --> 00:22:22,279 "when the corn tortilla touches the carnitas. 450 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:24,190 "Well, then you're really not going to like it 451 00:22:24,210 --> 00:22:28,240 "when my foot touches your culo. 452 00:22:28,259 --> 00:22:31,190 Eat. Eat." 453 00:22:31,210 --> 00:22:33,170 They say it like five times. 454 00:22:33,190 --> 00:22:35,180 "Eat!" "I'm eating." 455 00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:36,210 "Eat!" 456 00:22:39,039 --> 00:22:41,259 "Son of a bitch. 457 00:22:41,279 --> 00:22:44,049 [muttering] Huh?" 458 00:22:44,069 --> 00:22:47,140 Ivanka Trump, la cabrona. 459 00:22:50,180 --> 00:22:52,230 Listen, in our culture, we eat. 460 00:22:52,250 --> 00:22:56,269 We're not so concerned with fructose 461 00:22:56,289 --> 00:22:58,000 and... 462 00:22:59,150 --> 00:23:02,180 You know, now kids go shopping with their parents 463 00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:05,210 to make healthy choices. 464 00:23:05,230 --> 00:23:07,039 [laughs] 465 00:23:07,059 --> 00:23:09,170 I almost can't say it with a straight face... 466 00:23:09,190 --> 00:23:12,049 to tell you the truth. Like, I know what I'm gonna say, 467 00:23:12,069 --> 00:23:15,099 and I'm already laughing. 468 00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:17,160 Like the little kid's like, "Mom, this is great! 469 00:23:17,180 --> 00:23:20,190 it has omega-3s." 470 00:23:20,210 --> 00:23:24,130 "Wonderful. Put it in the basket, Cameron." 471 00:23:24,150 --> 00:23:27,089 [laughter] 472 00:23:27,109 --> 00:23:30,029 There you are with your mom. "Mom, mira. 473 00:23:30,049 --> 00:23:33,099 This one is high in saturated fat." 474 00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:37,200 "Well, fuck it, so are you. Throw it in there. 475 00:23:37,220 --> 00:23:39,140 "Son of a bitch. 476 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:41,230 "He don't want to learn in school, 477 00:23:41,250 --> 00:23:44,140 but at the fucking market-- 'saturated fats.'" 478 00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:46,029 That was my nickname for five years. 479 00:23:46,049 --> 00:23:48,049 "Hey, saturated fat, vamos, cabron. 480 00:23:48,069 --> 00:23:50,279 Satch, let's go." 481 00:23:54,089 --> 00:23:56,109 Our kids are--listen. 482 00:23:56,130 --> 00:23:58,160 Our kids are kids. You don't baby 'em. 483 00:23:58,180 --> 00:24:00,029 Here's the difference, because... 484 00:24:00,049 --> 00:24:02,160 our parents and our culture shows us 485 00:24:02,180 --> 00:24:05,029 that it's not all compliments. 486 00:24:05,049 --> 00:24:07,009 It's not everything you do is amazing. 487 00:24:07,029 --> 00:24:08,210 It's not you throw the trash away-- 488 00:24:08,230 --> 00:24:12,029 "Hey, high five!" 489 00:24:12,049 --> 00:24:14,089 If you have a kid now, you have to pretend like 490 00:24:14,109 --> 00:24:16,049 everything that motherfucker does 491 00:24:16,069 --> 00:24:19,000 is the best thing you've ever seen. 492 00:24:19,019 --> 00:24:23,190 At Thanksgiving, he comes home, "Oh, my God! 493 00:24:23,210 --> 00:24:27,000 "Did you trace the outside... 494 00:24:27,019 --> 00:24:30,160 of your hand... 495 00:24:30,180 --> 00:24:34,109 and did you make me a turkey?" 496 00:24:34,130 --> 00:24:36,170 [weird laugh] "I did. 497 00:24:36,190 --> 00:24:39,059 "I did. I put my hand-- I did my hand around it, 498 00:24:39,079 --> 00:24:40,269 and I..." [mumbling] 499 00:24:40,289 --> 00:24:42,190 "I'm putting on Facebook, God damn it. 500 00:24:42,210 --> 00:24:44,069 "I'm sending it to 'The Washington Post.' 501 00:24:44,089 --> 00:24:46,029 They'll run it." 502 00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:48,240 I gave one to my grandma. 503 00:24:48,259 --> 00:24:50,279 She says, "What's this bullshit? 504 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:54,259 "Mira, make me one like this, all right? 505 00:24:54,279 --> 00:24:57,240 And stop using my fucking eyebrow pencil." 506 00:25:03,130 --> 00:25:07,109 But you don't have a distorted view of life. 507 00:25:07,130 --> 00:25:09,019 Not everything is wonderful. 508 00:25:09,039 --> 00:25:12,109 Sometimes you make mistakes. That's how you learn. 509 00:25:12,130 --> 00:25:14,150 You know, kids wake up and the parents are there: 510 00:25:14,170 --> 00:25:16,230 "Good morning. 511 00:25:16,250 --> 00:25:19,289 "You woke up awesome. 512 00:25:20,009 --> 00:25:24,279 You're gonna have an awesome day because you woke up awesome." 513 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:26,220 When did our parents compliment us? 514 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:28,130 You take the car out, you scratch it, 515 00:25:28,150 --> 00:25:31,059 the next morning, "Hey! 516 00:25:31,079 --> 00:25:33,220 "Beautiful! 517 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:37,039 "Fuckin' beautiful. 518 00:25:37,059 --> 00:25:40,150 "You're a genius. I don't know how you did it. 519 00:25:40,170 --> 00:25:42,130 "Mira, I'm so proud of you, Einstein. 520 00:25:42,150 --> 00:25:43,240 "Mira, you're a fucking genius. 521 00:25:43,259 --> 00:25:46,269 "I didn't know until right now. 522 00:25:46,289 --> 00:25:50,089 "You scratched both sides of my car. 523 00:25:50,109 --> 00:25:51,200 Brilliant!" 524 00:25:51,220 --> 00:25:53,259 [applause] 525 00:25:53,279 --> 00:25:56,180 "I wish I had two of you right now... 526 00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:58,019 "so I could choke one 527 00:25:58,039 --> 00:26:01,049 and get the other one to rub out these scratches." 528 00:26:03,029 --> 00:26:05,089 We're not there on purpose. 529 00:26:05,109 --> 00:26:06,269 You could take away Planned Parenthood. 530 00:26:06,289 --> 00:26:10,269 That doesn't affect Latinos. 531 00:26:10,289 --> 00:26:13,000 We're not planned. 532 00:26:15,170 --> 00:26:18,190 Planned Weddinghood-- now, the weddings we plan. 533 00:26:18,210 --> 00:26:20,240 You know, it's the difference between somebody having babies, 534 00:26:20,259 --> 00:26:22,109 like, you know-- Here's the thing. 535 00:26:22,130 --> 00:26:23,259 You think that there's a lot of Latinos 536 00:26:23,279 --> 00:26:25,259 and African-American people. We have big families. 537 00:26:25,279 --> 00:26:28,109 We have seven, five kids, nine kids. 538 00:26:28,130 --> 00:26:31,130 We're make making people for the future. 539 00:26:31,150 --> 00:26:32,269 [laughter] 540 00:26:32,289 --> 00:26:36,119 Don't get mad at us 'cause you only had one kid... 541 00:26:36,140 --> 00:26:40,049 and you'll fuckin' lose him in the market. 542 00:26:40,069 --> 00:26:42,079 Don't get mad at us. 543 00:26:42,099 --> 00:26:45,190 Fuckin' Amber Alerts, all of you. 544 00:26:45,210 --> 00:26:48,109 You lose your kid, and we have to look. 545 00:26:48,130 --> 00:26:50,279 Fuck that. I don't gotta look. 546 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:52,269 I got my seven. You're on your own, cabrona. 547 00:26:52,289 --> 00:26:55,109 Hey... pay attention! 548 00:26:55,130 --> 00:26:59,210 Take one of those-- those Adderalls. 549 00:26:59,230 --> 00:27:02,160 If a Latino kid goes missing, no one notices, you know? 550 00:27:02,180 --> 00:27:05,029 Three days go by, and then somebody... 551 00:27:10,289 --> 00:27:13,150 "Que paso con Ruben?" 552 00:27:18,049 --> 00:27:20,140 "I don't know. 553 00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:23,220 I haven't see him como like three days." 554 00:27:27,140 --> 00:27:29,279 "He fucking has my change." 555 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:33,009 That's all we're worried about. He's got the change. 556 00:27:33,029 --> 00:27:34,059 You get home-- "It was awful--" 557 00:27:34,079 --> 00:27:35,150 "I don't want to hear that bullshit. 558 00:27:35,170 --> 00:27:36,250 "Gimme the change. 559 00:27:36,269 --> 00:27:39,130 It was a 20. Give me that change." 560 00:27:42,039 --> 00:27:45,089 That's the reality--listen. That's the reality of life. 561 00:27:45,109 --> 00:27:48,240 You live your life, you have fun, 562 00:27:48,259 --> 00:27:51,190 your doctor tells you, you know, not to drink 563 00:27:51,210 --> 00:27:54,269 and not to eat and not to enjoy your life. 564 00:27:54,289 --> 00:27:56,099 And you believe him. 565 00:27:56,119 --> 00:28:00,009 That's why we don't go to the doctor. 566 00:28:00,029 --> 00:28:03,029 I don't want to hear that shit. 567 00:28:03,049 --> 00:28:06,150 I had a uncle that had diabetes. 568 00:28:06,170 --> 00:28:08,109 And I'm always the one that they say, 569 00:28:08,130 --> 00:28:10,099 "Take me to the doctor." 570 00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:13,220 And the doctor says, "You will lose your leg 571 00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:16,250 if you continue to drink," and my uncle's like... 572 00:28:19,289 --> 00:28:22,069 "What about Crown Royal?" 573 00:28:22,089 --> 00:28:25,119 "He said... 574 00:28:25,140 --> 00:28:26,210 Yes." "Well, no, let him-- 575 00:28:26,230 --> 00:28:30,000 "I don't wanna talk to-- Let him tell me. 576 00:28:30,019 --> 00:28:33,000 What about Crown Royal?" "Yes." 577 00:28:33,019 --> 00:28:35,009 "Oh, because I thought because it's good 578 00:28:35,029 --> 00:28:37,210 that it was over the line, that...[mumbles]" 579 00:28:38,210 --> 00:28:41,279 "Wow, it is serious, huh?" 580 00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:44,289 He drank. They amputated his leg. 581 00:28:45,009 --> 00:28:48,029 Everybody went to go see him. He's in there laughing. 582 00:28:48,049 --> 00:28:50,089 I'm like, "What happened?" "Eh, hey, mira. 583 00:28:50,109 --> 00:28:54,119 "Don't be sad about my leg, I already walked a lot already." 584 00:28:56,250 --> 00:28:59,269 "They can have a travel ban. I ain't goin' nowhere." 585 00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:06,029 It's different, you know? It's the way to grow up. 586 00:29:06,049 --> 00:29:07,230 I think it's the way to grow up. 587 00:29:07,250 --> 00:29:09,140 I think that, you know, life isn't like that. 588 00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:12,119 You just need some adversity sometimes and, you know, 589 00:29:12,140 --> 00:29:15,089 none of the stories of how we meet are amazing. 590 00:29:15,109 --> 00:29:19,240 They're not like oh, my God, that's a beautiful story. 591 00:29:19,259 --> 00:29:24,059 "We were at the Smithsonian at the butterfly exhibit... 592 00:29:24,079 --> 00:29:28,069 "and the butterfly landed on our fingertips, 593 00:29:28,089 --> 00:29:31,150 and that's how I knew he was the one for me." 594 00:29:34,089 --> 00:29:36,160 They'll tell you how they met. You don't even wanna know. 595 00:29:36,180 --> 00:29:39,039 "Hey, you wanna know how me and your mom..." 596 00:29:41,170 --> 00:29:44,130 [laughter, applause] 597 00:29:44,150 --> 00:29:47,190 "Let me talk. Mira. 598 00:29:47,210 --> 00:29:50,079 I wanted to fuck her older sister." 599 00:29:50,099 --> 00:29:52,170 [laughter] 600 00:29:55,140 --> 00:29:57,220 "But she said no. 601 00:29:57,240 --> 00:30:01,180 "So then I went one down. 602 00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:04,079 And that's your mom." 603 00:30:08,140 --> 00:30:10,099 "And thank God that she say yes, 604 00:30:10,119 --> 00:30:11,259 because the next one was your Tio Larry. 605 00:30:11,279 --> 00:30:13,240 [muttering] 606 00:30:16,180 --> 00:30:18,160 That's how we live. Listen. 607 00:30:18,180 --> 00:30:22,240 We don't live sheltered. We don't live with fear. 608 00:30:22,259 --> 00:30:26,119 You know, kids are-- they're afraid of clowns 609 00:30:26,140 --> 00:30:28,230 and they're afraid of, you know, mariachis 610 00:30:28,250 --> 00:30:31,000 and they're afraid of loud noises. 611 00:30:31,019 --> 00:30:32,109 People who grew up poor, 612 00:30:32,130 --> 00:30:34,269 they're afraid of shit they can't see. 613 00:30:34,289 --> 00:30:37,279 Their dad's car coming down. 614 00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:43,019 [speaking Spanglish] 615 00:30:43,039 --> 00:30:47,039 Mexican monsters that nobody's ever seen. 616 00:30:47,059 --> 00:30:49,119 ICE. We're afraid of real shit. 617 00:30:49,140 --> 00:30:51,170 [laughter] 618 00:30:51,190 --> 00:30:52,279 Fucking ICE. 619 00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:54,210 I'm telling you, it's affecting-- 620 00:30:54,230 --> 00:30:56,089 On Father's Day I had a party. 621 00:30:56,109 --> 00:30:58,000 I said, "We need to get ice over here." 622 00:30:58,019 --> 00:30:59,289 Fuckin' everybody took off! "Hey! 623 00:31:00,009 --> 00:31:04,000 "Come back! Ice!" 624 00:31:04,019 --> 00:31:06,220 [yelling in Spanish] "Ice!" 625 00:31:09,109 --> 00:31:13,049 Now we have to say, "Hey, let's get some frozen water." 626 00:31:18,210 --> 00:31:21,140 "In cubed form," you know? 627 00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:24,150 Frozen water. 628 00:31:24,170 --> 00:31:26,250 So, in the neighborhood that I live in, 629 00:31:26,269 --> 00:31:29,250 I set my alarm one day, and I didn't know the code. 630 00:31:29,269 --> 00:31:32,059 I forget--I'm dyslexic, so I don't know the code. 631 00:31:32,079 --> 00:31:34,009 And it's going off-- beep, beep, beep, beep. 632 00:31:34,029 --> 00:31:36,210 Goin' off. And I finally turned it off. 633 00:31:36,230 --> 00:31:38,279 I go inside, watching TV. 20 minutes later... 634 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:40,109 [knock knock knock knock] 635 00:31:40,130 --> 00:31:41,240 Open the door. L.A.P.D. 636 00:31:41,259 --> 00:31:45,009 Like, a white cop and a Latino cop, you know. 637 00:31:45,029 --> 00:31:46,220 And I'm right there and they look at me 638 00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:49,069 and they're like, "Hey, I know you." 639 00:31:49,089 --> 00:31:53,150 I say, "I'm putting in a fountain." 640 00:31:53,170 --> 00:31:56,180 [laughter] 641 00:31:57,250 --> 00:31:59,069 There was this awkwardness, 642 00:31:59,089 --> 00:32:01,140 like the dude couldn't believe that I lived there. 643 00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:02,180 Well, it's a nice house. 644 00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:04,180 I mean, come on, I'm George Lopez. 645 00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:06,279 [loud cheering] Where am I gonna live? 646 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:10,019 Where am I gonna live? 647 00:32:10,039 --> 00:32:13,269 So...the Latino guy is like-- 648 00:32:13,289 --> 00:32:17,029 [stammering] "I know--can we see some I.D.?" 649 00:32:17,049 --> 00:32:19,009 I'm like, "Ah..." I look at the Latino guy. 650 00:32:19,029 --> 00:32:22,089 "Listen, I don't believe it either." 651 00:32:22,109 --> 00:32:24,259 So I let 'em in the house. 652 00:32:24,279 --> 00:32:27,049 I'm walking to find my wallet, and they're looking around, 653 00:32:27,069 --> 00:32:28,240 and there's nothing in that house 654 00:32:28,259 --> 00:32:30,150 that looks like a Latino lives there. 655 00:32:30,170 --> 00:32:33,119 Because we like nice shit, you know. 656 00:32:34,279 --> 00:32:37,140 So the cop is looking around, and I'm looking at the cop 657 00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:39,220 and I'm looking at my house. I'm like, 658 00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:42,269 "Fuck. This..." 659 00:32:42,289 --> 00:32:44,180 He goes, "You get that I.D.?" 660 00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:46,190 "I can't--I can't-- 661 00:32:46,210 --> 00:32:48,130 I can't find it." 662 00:32:48,150 --> 00:32:50,049 And then I remember. 663 00:32:50,069 --> 00:32:53,009 So I opened up the refrigerator. 664 00:32:53,029 --> 00:32:56,230 I had corn tortillas, 665 00:32:56,250 --> 00:32:58,200 flour tortillas, 666 00:32:58,220 --> 00:33:01,069 frijoles de la olla, 667 00:33:01,089 --> 00:33:06,069 salsa with a mayonnaise jar with the foil and the rubber band. 668 00:33:06,089 --> 00:33:10,059 Wedding cake from like five fucking years ago. 669 00:33:10,079 --> 00:33:13,099 With the candle still in it. 670 00:33:13,119 --> 00:33:15,109 And they were like, "Sorry to bother you. 671 00:33:15,130 --> 00:33:17,279 Enjoy your day." 672 00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:21,009 [cheers and applause] 673 00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:26,059 Don't apologize for being successful. 674 00:33:26,079 --> 00:33:27,210 Live your life and don't worry about it. 675 00:33:27,230 --> 00:33:29,190 Don't worry about everybody bringing you down-- 676 00:33:29,210 --> 00:33:31,130 all the haters right now. It's all haters. 677 00:33:31,150 --> 00:33:33,140 Be successful. Don't worry about it. 678 00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:34,180 Don't worry. 679 00:33:37,089 --> 00:33:39,009 That's what we're made for. 680 00:33:39,029 --> 00:33:40,180 That's why we don't get the positive shit. 681 00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:42,160 You get the-- "I'm gonna go to college, 682 00:33:42,180 --> 00:33:44,039 and I'ma graduate." "I'll fucking believe that 683 00:33:44,059 --> 00:33:46,180 "when I see it! Vas a ver, cabron. 684 00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:48,279 Mark it down right now." 685 00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:51,029 That's how we grew up. We're not allergic to shit. 686 00:33:51,049 --> 00:33:53,099 You know, we can eat peanuts. Are you kidding me? 687 00:33:53,119 --> 00:33:57,029 A Latino allergic to peanuts? [speaking Spanglish] 688 00:33:57,049 --> 00:33:59,119 Salted--we do more shit with peanuts 689 00:33:59,140 --> 00:34:01,150 than a monkey could, I mean... 690 00:34:01,170 --> 00:34:03,250 We got different ways to eat peanuts, 691 00:34:03,269 --> 00:34:05,240 and we're not allergic to peanuts. 692 00:34:05,259 --> 00:34:08,210 Chile peanuts, roasted peanuts. Chile. 693 00:34:08,230 --> 00:34:10,289 Different flavor... [speaking Spanish] 694 00:34:11,010 --> 00:34:12,139 Just eating peanuts-- 695 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,059 We're not allergic. 696 00:34:16,079 --> 00:34:18,179 Now, if somebody has a peanut allergy, 697 00:34:18,199 --> 00:34:22,099 the whole world has to change for that one person. 698 00:34:22,119 --> 00:34:24,059 When they fly on a plane, 699 00:34:24,079 --> 00:34:28,030 no one in the airport can have peanuts... 700 00:34:28,050 --> 00:34:30,050 because of that one person. 701 00:34:30,070 --> 00:34:31,179 You're on the airplane-- 702 00:34:31,199 --> 00:34:35,199 peanut-free flight because of that one person. 703 00:34:35,219 --> 00:34:37,019 You're drinking, having a good time. 704 00:34:37,039 --> 00:34:38,130 "Hey, can we have some peanuts?" 705 00:34:38,150 --> 00:34:43,119 [low voice] "I'm sorry, there's a passenger 706 00:34:43,139 --> 00:34:45,079 "in coach 707 00:34:45,099 --> 00:34:48,000 "in the middle seat 708 00:34:48,019 --> 00:34:50,179 "that has a peanut allergy. 709 00:34:50,199 --> 00:34:53,170 In 23A." 710 00:34:53,190 --> 00:34:54,260 "Fuck him. Gimme the microphone. 711 00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:57,260 [blows] "Orale. Hey, 23A. 712 00:34:57,280 --> 00:34:59,119 "Go hide in the bathroom, 713 00:34:59,139 --> 00:35:02,070 "because we're gonna be eating some peanuts right now. 714 00:35:02,090 --> 00:35:04,230 "All right? And next time, go Greyhound 715 00:35:04,250 --> 00:35:07,250 with all the other fuckin' nuts." 716 00:35:07,269 --> 00:35:12,110 Why do we have to change because somebody has a fucking allergy? 717 00:35:12,130 --> 00:35:16,219 They have peanut-free schools. No peanuts in the school. 718 00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:20,039 You can take a gun, but don't bring no peanuts. 719 00:35:21,170 --> 00:35:23,239 You don't even need a gun. Just walk in with some walnuts. 720 00:35:23,260 --> 00:35:26,030 "I'll crack these motherfuckers right here. 721 00:35:26,050 --> 00:35:27,269 "Get on the ground! Get on the ground! 722 00:35:27,289 --> 00:35:31,110 "I'll crack--I'll crack it! And don't try to run, 723 00:35:31,130 --> 00:35:34,030 "'cause I threw cashews all over the parking lot. 724 00:35:34,050 --> 00:35:35,139 "Want me to throw some fucking-- 725 00:35:35,159 --> 00:35:37,070 "Want me to put some almonds in your shirt? 726 00:35:37,090 --> 00:35:39,099 Want me to put some almonds down your shirt?" 727 00:35:43,210 --> 00:35:45,190 Here's what you need to understand about Latinos, 728 00:35:45,210 --> 00:35:47,070 if I haven't already explained it. 729 00:35:47,090 --> 00:35:48,210 We love this country. 730 00:35:48,230 --> 00:35:51,110 We will never hurt this country. 731 00:35:51,130 --> 00:35:52,289 We love this country. 732 00:35:53,010 --> 00:35:55,210 [cheers and applause] 733 00:35:58,170 --> 00:36:01,130 That new immigration law, the RISE Act? 734 00:36:01,150 --> 00:36:05,030 You have to already speak English to come over here. 735 00:36:05,050 --> 00:36:07,119 You have to already have a job 736 00:36:07,139 --> 00:36:10,280 and provide to the economy before you can come here. 737 00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:13,030 Fuck--I was looking at that shit. 738 00:36:13,050 --> 00:36:14,219 I'm like, "Fuck, I'm only one of three. 739 00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:17,260 God damn!" 740 00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:21,110 They're trying to keep us out of this country, but they can't. 741 00:36:21,130 --> 00:36:23,260 This country was made by immigrants 742 00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:26,000 and continues to be made by immigrants, 743 00:36:26,019 --> 00:36:28,280 and all of it makes it great. 744 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:31,159 That's what makes America great. 745 00:36:31,179 --> 00:36:33,210 [applause] 746 00:36:33,230 --> 00:36:36,239 Not some fuckin' fat wobbly-haired fuckin' puto. 747 00:36:36,260 --> 00:36:38,250 Not that-- [laughter] 748 00:36:40,030 --> 00:36:42,010 Donald Trump, let me tell you something. 749 00:36:42,030 --> 00:36:45,099 [scoffs] And let me tell you, huh? 750 00:36:45,119 --> 00:36:46,199 He wants to crackdown on immigration? 751 00:36:46,219 --> 00:36:47,250 He don't like immigrants? 752 00:36:47,269 --> 00:36:50,119 Well, then, stop marrying them. 753 00:36:50,139 --> 00:36:53,019 Stop marrying them, vato! 754 00:36:53,039 --> 00:36:54,119 [scoffs] 755 00:36:54,139 --> 00:36:57,119 [cheers and applause] 756 00:36:57,139 --> 00:36:58,239 She doesn't speak English. 757 00:36:58,260 --> 00:37:00,099 Does it bother anybody 758 00:37:00,119 --> 00:37:02,239 that the First Lady of the United States 759 00:37:02,260 --> 00:37:05,019 doesn't speak English? 760 00:37:05,039 --> 00:37:08,059 And it hurts to watch her try. 761 00:37:08,079 --> 00:37:09,150 [thick accent] "And then my husband, 762 00:37:09,170 --> 00:37:11,250 after he'll get it, he'll..." 763 00:37:11,269 --> 00:37:13,139 [laughter] 764 00:37:13,159 --> 00:37:16,280 [with accent] "Pobrecita. She can't talk. 765 00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:18,110 "She's trying. [speaking Spanish] 766 00:37:18,130 --> 00:37:20,090 "But she cannot talk. 767 00:37:20,110 --> 00:37:22,079 How come somebody don't talk for her?" 768 00:37:22,099 --> 00:37:23,289 [speaking Spanish] 769 00:37:24,010 --> 00:37:25,269 [unintelligible, harsh voice] 770 00:37:27,159 --> 00:37:29,000 Even Arnold Schwarzenegger's at home... 771 00:37:29,019 --> 00:37:32,000 [with accent] "Get it out! 772 00:37:32,019 --> 00:37:34,170 Spit it out, do it!" 773 00:37:36,260 --> 00:37:38,260 You know how hard it is to learn English? 774 00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:41,239 Arnold Schwarzenegger's been in this country... 775 00:37:41,260 --> 00:37:45,280 50 years, and he don't fucking speak English. 776 00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:47,289 He tries to talk slow, like you won't know. 777 00:37:48,010 --> 00:37:51,139 "And then we got..." [muttering with thick accent] 778 00:37:51,159 --> 00:37:54,059 You see that commercial for that app "Mobile Strike"? 779 00:37:54,079 --> 00:37:57,090 [with accent] "Download it now in the app store!" 780 00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:03,019 "What did he say? Up store? 781 00:38:03,039 --> 00:38:05,079 "Que es eso, the Up store? 782 00:38:05,099 --> 00:38:07,239 Download it in the Up store." 783 00:38:10,269 --> 00:38:12,219 No, no. 784 00:38:12,239 --> 00:38:15,039 We make America great, people who sacrifice. 785 00:38:15,059 --> 00:38:17,030 Listen, health care? 786 00:38:17,050 --> 00:38:19,050 You can have health care, okay? 787 00:38:19,070 --> 00:38:21,199 Let me tell you something. If this country 788 00:38:21,219 --> 00:38:25,010 wants to elect somebody who's racially insensitive 789 00:38:25,030 --> 00:38:29,079 with no political experience, here I am. 790 00:38:29,099 --> 00:38:30,219 [cheers and applause] 791 00:38:30,239 --> 00:38:32,050 Here I am. 792 00:38:32,070 --> 00:38:34,260 Here I am! 793 00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:37,050 George Lopez for president. 794 00:38:37,070 --> 00:38:40,070 [cheers and applause] 795 00:38:41,139 --> 00:38:43,079 I golf. 796 00:38:43,099 --> 00:38:46,159 I got a kid I hardly talk to. 797 00:38:52,070 --> 00:38:55,119 Under the Lopez Administration, 798 00:38:55,139 --> 00:38:58,079 in my first 100 days, 799 00:38:58,099 --> 00:39:01,010 I will make Taco Tuesday the law. 800 00:39:01,030 --> 00:39:02,159 [loud cheering] 801 00:39:02,179 --> 00:39:05,059 For everyone. 802 00:39:05,079 --> 00:39:07,000 For everyone! 803 00:39:09,150 --> 00:39:12,219 You want health care? It's free for everyone. 804 00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:14,059 Free. 805 00:39:14,079 --> 00:39:17,079 The Latinos are passing it to you--we don't need it. 806 00:39:17,099 --> 00:39:18,269 [speaking Spanish] 807 00:39:18,289 --> 00:39:22,000 "I don't want to know what's wrong with me--take it." 808 00:39:25,039 --> 00:39:28,050 I will legalize... 809 00:39:28,070 --> 00:39:30,179 marijuana. [loud cheering] 810 00:39:30,199 --> 00:39:34,079 And put pharmaceutical companies out of business. 811 00:39:34,099 --> 00:39:36,079 Same shit. Not only will I legalize it, 812 00:39:36,099 --> 00:39:38,059 if you vote for me, I'll come over your house 813 00:39:38,079 --> 00:39:40,099 and smoke it with you. 814 00:39:40,119 --> 00:39:43,099 [cheers and applause] 815 00:39:43,119 --> 00:39:45,059 Look at this guy. "I hope that's the truth. 816 00:39:45,079 --> 00:39:47,110 "I hope that's the truth. Is that jokes, 817 00:39:47,130 --> 00:39:49,039 "or is he telling the truth? [stammering] 818 00:39:49,059 --> 00:39:51,019 I'ma go right now." 819 00:39:52,150 --> 00:39:54,139 Everything during the day 820 00:39:54,159 --> 00:39:56,210 is all medicine commercials. 821 00:39:56,230 --> 00:39:59,139 Nothing's about having fun. It's all about medicine-- 822 00:39:59,159 --> 00:40:04,219 Asthma, AFib, heart disease, colon cancer. 823 00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:08,130 There's a test where you can shit in a envelope 824 00:40:08,150 --> 00:40:11,010 and send it in the mail. 825 00:40:11,030 --> 00:40:13,179 That's how lazy Americans are getting. 826 00:40:13,199 --> 00:40:16,210 You don't even wanna go to the doctor. 827 00:40:16,230 --> 00:40:21,170 No, just shit in the envelope and put it in there. 828 00:40:21,190 --> 00:40:24,019 And then they'll open your shit and they'll examine it 829 00:40:24,039 --> 00:40:26,010 and send that shit back to you. 830 00:40:26,030 --> 00:40:28,230 [laughter] 831 00:40:28,250 --> 00:40:30,059 That's how lazy Americans are. 832 00:40:30,079 --> 00:40:32,210 You don't want us here? We work. 833 00:40:32,230 --> 00:40:34,269 We don't have a chair that helps us get upstairs 834 00:40:34,289 --> 00:40:38,019 or a walk-in fucking tub. 835 00:40:38,039 --> 00:40:40,199 Your nephew helps you. 836 00:40:42,039 --> 00:40:44,099 Our elderly fall down too, but when they fall down, 837 00:40:44,119 --> 00:40:46,050 they don't fall down in an empty house. 838 00:40:46,070 --> 00:40:47,210 They don't fall down in a nursing home. 839 00:40:47,230 --> 00:40:50,130 They fall down in a house surrounded by family, 840 00:40:50,150 --> 00:40:52,269 because that's how you take care of your elderly people. 841 00:40:52,289 --> 00:40:54,110 You don't take care of your elderly people 842 00:40:54,130 --> 00:40:56,059 by putting them in a place for Mom 843 00:40:56,079 --> 00:40:58,130 and fucking nursing homes and convalescent homes 844 00:40:58,150 --> 00:40:59,289 and never visiting them. 845 00:41:00,010 --> 00:41:02,170 That's what I did to my grandmother--I know. 846 00:41:02,190 --> 00:41:06,070 [laughter] 847 00:41:06,090 --> 00:41:08,099 Take care of those elderly people. 848 00:41:08,119 --> 00:41:10,119 They took care of you. 849 00:41:10,139 --> 00:41:12,159 If you got a grandmother that's in her 80s or 90s 850 00:41:12,179 --> 00:41:14,170 or a tia, take pictures of them, take videos of them, 851 00:41:14,190 --> 00:41:17,010 because when they're gone, that generation is gone. 852 00:41:17,030 --> 00:41:20,190 That real hard-working, you don't need a man providing, 853 00:41:20,210 --> 00:41:23,219 put your kids through college-- those ladies are gone. 854 00:41:23,239 --> 00:41:26,159 [applause] 855 00:41:28,139 --> 00:41:29,269 What are they going to be replaced with? 856 00:41:29,289 --> 00:41:31,059 What are those stories? 857 00:41:31,079 --> 00:41:34,059 "Remember when we used to do pilates? 858 00:41:34,079 --> 00:41:36,219 In 2012 we started." 859 00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:38,239 They got good stories. 860 00:41:38,260 --> 00:41:40,139 They got good stories. My grandmother-- 861 00:41:40,159 --> 00:41:41,260 amazing stories. 862 00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:44,190 My grandmother tried to homeschool me one day. 863 00:41:44,210 --> 00:41:47,079 One day. My grandmother was like, 864 00:41:47,099 --> 00:41:49,099 "Mira. Today... 865 00:41:49,119 --> 00:41:52,119 we're gonna study American history." 866 00:41:52,139 --> 00:41:54,110 [laughter] 867 00:41:54,130 --> 00:41:58,010 "Hey, start getting ready to write it down. 868 00:41:58,030 --> 00:42:00,119 "Mira, my sister, you know her, 869 00:42:00,139 --> 00:42:02,139 "when she was young... [speaking Spanish] 870 00:42:02,159 --> 00:42:04,219 She went with everybody." 871 00:42:07,139 --> 00:42:09,280 "Write it down." 872 00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:11,119 "How's that American history?" 873 00:42:11,139 --> 00:42:16,139 "Well, she's American, and it happened a long time. 874 00:42:16,159 --> 00:42:18,079 History." 875 00:42:21,059 --> 00:42:25,090 Nobody teaches us that we learn by ourselves. 876 00:42:25,110 --> 00:42:27,010 You know, you learn by your mistakes. 877 00:42:27,030 --> 00:42:28,179 When you're riding a bike, 878 00:42:28,199 --> 00:42:30,000 you're riding a bike by yourself. 879 00:42:30,019 --> 00:42:31,099 You hit your head on the sidewalk, 880 00:42:31,119 --> 00:42:33,250 you know: slow down. 881 00:42:33,269 --> 00:42:36,010 No helmet, no pads, no supervision. 882 00:42:36,030 --> 00:42:38,070 You're riding. [thunk] 883 00:42:43,070 --> 00:42:46,199 You learn. You learn. 884 00:42:46,219 --> 00:42:49,110 To swim--you almost have to drown to learn how to swim. 885 00:42:49,130 --> 00:42:51,130 You know that. 886 00:42:51,150 --> 00:42:53,289 That's what the kids learn. 887 00:42:54,010 --> 00:42:55,210 Nobody teaches us about sex. 888 00:42:55,230 --> 00:42:57,030 You know how you learn about sex? 889 00:42:57,050 --> 00:43:00,150 You come home early from school one day. 890 00:43:00,170 --> 00:43:03,039 [laughter] 891 00:43:03,059 --> 00:43:04,289 And you put your books down 892 00:43:05,010 --> 00:43:07,219 and in the back of the house you hear, "Ay... 893 00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:10,039 [moaning] "Ay... 894 00:43:10,059 --> 00:43:11,230 Ahh..." 895 00:43:19,179 --> 00:43:22,079 "Ay..." 896 00:43:22,099 --> 00:43:24,079 You go around the house. You look through the window. 897 00:43:24,099 --> 00:43:25,260 It's your tio taking his socks off. 898 00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:29,230 [moaning] "Ahh...ay!" 899 00:43:33,010 --> 00:43:36,090 "Tio!" "Ay!" 900 00:43:36,110 --> 00:43:38,059 "I thought you were in here making love." 901 00:43:38,079 --> 00:43:41,260 "Shit, I wish--I can't even take my socks off." 902 00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:50,110 We don't go to the doctor. 903 00:43:50,130 --> 00:43:52,090 When women have babies, they've had babies before. 904 00:43:52,110 --> 00:43:54,150 It's not as new to other people 905 00:43:54,170 --> 00:43:57,119 like they're pregnant, they're like, "Oh, my God!" 906 00:43:57,139 --> 00:43:59,010 They go get an ultrasound every hour. 907 00:43:59,030 --> 00:44:01,289 "You've been here..." [imitating electronic sounds] 908 00:44:03,170 --> 00:44:05,199 Latinos are pregnant, they're like, "You're pregnant." 909 00:44:05,219 --> 00:44:07,139 "Uh-huh. 910 00:44:07,159 --> 00:44:11,110 All right, ah..." 911 00:44:11,130 --> 00:44:13,019 "Don't you want to know what it is?" 912 00:44:13,039 --> 00:44:15,269 "No, I got clothes for either one." 913 00:44:15,289 --> 00:44:18,219 [laughter] 914 00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:20,239 "I don't need vitamins, because I still got vitamins 915 00:44:20,260 --> 00:44:23,039 from the other kids." 916 00:44:25,150 --> 00:44:27,250 It's not as exciting. 917 00:44:27,269 --> 00:44:30,010 You know, everybody documents everything. 918 00:44:30,030 --> 00:44:32,230 You know, moms still work out. 919 00:44:32,250 --> 00:44:35,090 When the baby's born, they give them prenatal. 920 00:44:35,110 --> 00:44:38,159 They clean their nose with that--pfft--you know. 921 00:44:38,179 --> 00:44:41,190 Little white kids, they talk--seven months. 922 00:44:41,210 --> 00:44:42,289 You go in the room, 923 00:44:43,010 --> 00:44:45,010 they're leaning against the chair, "Hey. 924 00:44:45,030 --> 00:44:49,059 "Come on in. Yeah. 925 00:44:49,079 --> 00:44:52,170 "I'm seven months yesterday. 926 00:44:52,190 --> 00:44:54,079 "Yeah, my mom told me you were comin' in. 927 00:44:54,099 --> 00:44:56,079 "Come on in. 928 00:44:56,099 --> 00:44:58,130 "I been talking for about a couple of weeks, 929 00:44:58,150 --> 00:45:01,000 "I don't know, ten days maybe. 930 00:45:01,019 --> 00:45:03,280 "Yeah, I know, she's making me wear the helmet 931 00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:06,260 "'cause the top of my head isn't formed and... 932 00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:09,269 I'm self-conscious." 933 00:45:13,130 --> 00:45:17,000 "I'll be driving in a month." "What?" 934 00:45:17,019 --> 00:45:19,030 You go to a Latino house, you knock on the door, 935 00:45:19,050 --> 00:45:20,159 a Latino kid opens the door. 936 00:45:20,179 --> 00:45:23,110 He just stands there with that look on his face. 937 00:45:23,130 --> 00:45:26,139 [laughter] 938 00:45:29,010 --> 00:45:32,260 "Is your dad home?" 939 00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:35,010 "My dad?" 940 00:45:37,230 --> 00:45:40,190 "Is...your dad home?" 941 00:45:44,059 --> 00:45:46,130 "He's not here. 942 00:45:46,150 --> 00:45:49,150 "He was here, and then he left. 943 00:45:49,170 --> 00:45:52,289 "That's why--that's-- that's why he's not here. 944 00:45:53,010 --> 00:45:54,190 "But when his car's here, 945 00:45:54,210 --> 00:45:56,289 "that means that he's here, but right now... 946 00:45:57,010 --> 00:46:00,000 "but right now--but right now his car's not here. 947 00:46:00,019 --> 00:46:02,230 So that means that he's not here." 948 00:46:02,250 --> 00:46:05,230 "How old are you?" "29." 949 00:46:05,250 --> 00:46:07,070 [laughter, applause] 950 00:46:13,119 --> 00:46:16,019 "Don't tell him I got outta the crib." 951 00:46:20,199 --> 00:46:23,090 We're taught respect. Listen... 952 00:46:23,110 --> 00:46:27,039 Therapy is not for us. We don't go to therapy. 953 00:46:27,059 --> 00:46:29,219 Do we need it? Yeah. 954 00:46:31,170 --> 00:46:34,260 We don't feel comfortable telling a stranger. 955 00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:38,230 We'll wait till there's a party 956 00:46:38,250 --> 00:46:40,119 and the mariachis are playing 957 00:46:40,139 --> 00:46:42,210 and they're getting ready to cut the wedding cake 958 00:46:42,230 --> 00:46:45,130 and just say, "Let me tell you, everybody, something. 959 00:46:45,150 --> 00:46:48,019 Everybody!" 960 00:46:48,039 --> 00:46:49,099 [sniffles] 961 00:46:49,119 --> 00:46:52,159 "Nobody loves me." 962 00:46:52,179 --> 00:46:53,289 "Tio." "No, no, no. 963 00:46:54,010 --> 00:46:57,050 Let me talk." 964 00:46:57,070 --> 00:46:59,219 [sobbing] 965 00:46:59,239 --> 00:47:03,090 "Tell him you love him, and take him to the car." 966 00:47:03,110 --> 00:47:05,000 We don't go to therapy. I tried. 967 00:47:05,019 --> 00:47:06,269 You go, you know, and if you go early enough, 968 00:47:06,289 --> 00:47:08,239 you can hear through the-- you know, you see somebody... 969 00:47:08,260 --> 00:47:11,269 [sniffling] 970 00:47:15,070 --> 00:47:17,210 [voice breaking] "My father never told me 971 00:47:17,230 --> 00:47:20,070 that he loved me." 972 00:47:22,099 --> 00:47:23,150 That's it? I open the door. 973 00:47:23,170 --> 00:47:25,000 My father told me he wasn't my father. 974 00:47:25,019 --> 00:47:27,269 How 'bout that one? You don't see me cry. 975 00:47:27,289 --> 00:47:30,260 And fuck him-- he'll never see me cry. 976 00:47:34,090 --> 00:47:37,179 They all drink and, you know, they all over-drink. 977 00:47:37,199 --> 00:47:39,170 My grandfather-- I love my grandfather. 978 00:47:39,190 --> 00:47:42,030 He taught me a lotta things, but when he drank, he was mean. 979 00:47:42,050 --> 00:47:44,219 And since I was an only child, he would look for me. 980 00:47:44,239 --> 00:47:48,039 And he didn't speak English, but when he was drunk, 981 00:47:48,059 --> 00:47:50,179 he'd try to speak English. 982 00:47:50,199 --> 00:47:52,050 And I had to sit there-- 983 00:47:52,070 --> 00:47:54,090 "Hey!" 984 00:47:56,050 --> 00:47:58,260 "Who do ju thing ju are?" 985 00:48:02,269 --> 00:48:05,150 [shouting] "Who do you thing j'are?" 986 00:48:07,030 --> 00:48:09,090 [mouthing] 987 00:48:10,179 --> 00:48:12,010 Then my grandmother would try to jump in. 988 00:48:12,030 --> 00:48:15,110 [speaking Spanish] "Chut up! 989 00:48:15,130 --> 00:48:18,099 Chut ju mouse!" 990 00:48:20,130 --> 00:48:23,119 "Chut up you fucking mouse!" 991 00:48:30,119 --> 00:48:31,280 And then he would hit me. 992 00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:34,099 [thwack, thwack] 993 00:48:34,119 --> 00:48:36,019 In my temple. [thwack] 994 00:48:36,039 --> 00:48:38,030 [thwack] Like 40 times. 995 00:48:38,050 --> 00:48:39,070 [thwack] 996 00:48:39,090 --> 00:48:41,190 And every time-- I was like eight-- 997 00:48:41,210 --> 00:48:44,230 and every time I'd be like, "One day..." 998 00:48:44,250 --> 00:48:48,219 [thwack, thwack] One day." 999 00:48:48,239 --> 00:48:52,010 April 4th, 1988. 1000 00:48:52,030 --> 00:48:53,030 [laughter] 1001 00:48:53,050 --> 00:48:54,239 He died. 1002 00:48:54,260 --> 00:48:58,059 We're having a ceremony there, the open casket. 1003 00:48:58,079 --> 00:49:02,210 The mortician says, "Would anyone like to say good-bye?" 1004 00:49:07,219 --> 00:49:09,110 [thwack] 1005 00:49:09,130 --> 00:49:11,079 [laughter] 1006 00:49:11,099 --> 00:49:14,239 Fuck you and fuck Erik Estrada. 1007 00:49:16,139 --> 00:49:18,000 That puto. 1008 00:49:18,019 --> 00:49:21,110 Come and get me, vato. I can knock you out. 1009 00:49:23,059 --> 00:49:26,219 Spite. That's what motivates me. 1010 00:49:26,239 --> 00:49:28,119 Somebody says, "That's not healthy." 1011 00:49:28,139 --> 00:49:31,070 "Uh... 1012 00:49:31,090 --> 00:49:33,269 I think I'm doing all right!" 1013 00:49:36,230 --> 00:49:39,179 Find love and be happy 1014 00:49:39,199 --> 00:49:41,110 and find somebody that you love 1015 00:49:41,130 --> 00:49:44,059 and be honest and be truthful to them, 1016 00:49:44,079 --> 00:49:47,190 because love is the most difficult thing to find 1017 00:49:47,210 --> 00:49:49,039 in this world. 1018 00:49:49,059 --> 00:49:51,070 I know, because I'm by myself right there. 1019 00:49:51,090 --> 00:49:53,099 [whistles through teeth] 1020 00:49:56,289 --> 00:49:59,230 And my grandmother, she knew. When I was 12, she knew. 1021 00:49:59,250 --> 00:50:02,210 "Cochino, I know what you're doing in there." 1022 00:50:02,230 --> 00:50:04,110 I said, "What?" "You don't think I know, 1023 00:50:04,130 --> 00:50:07,010 but I know." She didn't know medical terms. 1024 00:50:07,030 --> 00:50:08,219 She would say shit. I knew what she meant. 1025 00:50:08,239 --> 00:50:10,010 "I know you're in there throwing your 1026 00:50:10,030 --> 00:50:12,039 [speaking Spanglish] all over the room." 1027 00:50:12,059 --> 00:50:14,010 [mouthing] What? 1028 00:50:16,130 --> 00:50:18,199 "Your tres leches all over the place." 1029 00:50:18,219 --> 00:50:20,260 [laughter] 1030 00:50:28,199 --> 00:50:29,250 My grandmother got sick. 1031 00:50:29,269 --> 00:50:31,260 I hate when elderly people get sick. 1032 00:50:31,280 --> 00:50:33,119 But we keep them in the house. 1033 00:50:33,139 --> 00:50:35,010 All those places, 1034 00:50:35,030 --> 00:50:38,090 all those nursing homes and stuff like that--listen. 1035 00:50:38,110 --> 00:50:40,079 Filipino, Asian people, 1036 00:50:40,099 --> 00:50:42,280 Middle Eastern people, Indian people, 1037 00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:46,090 Latinos--we all run the health care industry 1038 00:50:46,110 --> 00:50:50,050 if you've been around a hospital. 1039 00:50:50,070 --> 00:50:51,269 Maybe not all of us are doctors, 1040 00:50:51,289 --> 00:50:54,059 but we're the ones that are there in middle of the night. 1041 00:50:54,079 --> 00:50:55,190 [crowd whooping] 1042 00:50:55,210 --> 00:50:57,159 So, when you end up in a convalescent home, 1043 00:50:57,179 --> 00:50:59,010 if I were you, I'd be shaking hands 1044 00:50:59,030 --> 00:51:01,230 with every Latino, person of color, 1045 00:51:01,250 --> 00:51:03,179 because in the middle of the night, 1046 00:51:03,199 --> 00:51:06,250 when you're in there... "My heart. 1047 00:51:06,269 --> 00:51:08,059 My heart!" 1048 00:51:08,079 --> 00:51:11,230 This is the last thing you're gonna see. 1049 00:51:11,250 --> 00:51:15,210 [laughter] 1050 00:51:18,110 --> 00:51:20,219 [cheers and applause] 1051 00:51:29,119 --> 00:51:32,250 "What happened to the lady?" "Oh, the lady? 1052 00:51:32,269 --> 00:51:35,179 "She die. 1053 00:51:35,199 --> 00:51:38,230 "But we got married last night, her and I, before she die. 1054 00:51:38,250 --> 00:51:40,230 "I got the marriage certificate. 1055 00:51:40,250 --> 00:51:43,030 I keep all these documents Wait a minute." 1056 00:51:48,059 --> 00:51:51,050 It goes by like that, too. It goes by like that. 1057 00:51:51,070 --> 00:51:53,179 You know? So, eat, have fun, you know, 1058 00:51:53,199 --> 00:51:56,239 don't be a vegetarian, don't be a vegan. 1059 00:51:56,260 --> 00:51:58,019 [laughter] 1060 00:51:58,039 --> 00:52:00,130 Have you-- that's not helping you. 1061 00:52:00,150 --> 00:52:02,289 "I can only have 400 calories a day. 1062 00:52:03,010 --> 00:52:04,090 "That's why I don't breathe, because..." 1063 00:52:04,110 --> 00:52:06,119 [inhales] "That's 20." 1064 00:52:10,099 --> 00:52:11,179 We eat. 1065 00:52:11,199 --> 00:52:12,289 Lettuce? We don't eat lettuce. 1066 00:52:13,010 --> 00:52:15,059 Latinos work in the produce industry, 1067 00:52:15,079 --> 00:52:17,130 but we don't eat lettuce, all right? 1068 00:52:17,150 --> 00:52:19,210 You don't work all day picking lettuce 1069 00:52:19,230 --> 00:52:21,280 and on your day off make yourself a fucking salad. 1070 00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:23,010 That's not... 1071 00:52:24,159 --> 00:52:26,190 Kale. 1072 00:52:26,210 --> 00:52:29,099 [speaking Spanish] We don't know... 1073 00:52:29,119 --> 00:52:32,059 we don't know what kale is. 1074 00:52:32,079 --> 00:52:33,190 But I think it's a little boy 1075 00:52:33,210 --> 00:52:36,210 your tia watches three days a week. 1076 00:52:40,219 --> 00:52:42,119 "When does kale come?" "Oh, kale? Viene-- 1077 00:52:42,139 --> 00:52:44,000 "Right now, he change the schedule-- 1078 00:52:44,019 --> 00:52:46,269 "Viene los Monday, Wednesday, los Fri-- 1079 00:52:46,289 --> 00:52:48,269 El kale?" 1080 00:52:50,039 --> 00:52:52,079 That would almost be like if you're a prostitute 1081 00:52:52,099 --> 00:52:55,210 and on your day off somebody put a dick in your cornflakes. 1082 00:52:55,230 --> 00:52:56,260 You'd be like... 1083 00:53:00,260 --> 00:53:03,150 "It's my day off. 1084 00:53:03,170 --> 00:53:06,099 Take that dick out of my cornflakes." 1085 00:53:10,210 --> 00:53:12,090 We ain't looked at the shit. 1086 00:53:12,110 --> 00:53:13,170 Milk. Let me tell you something. 1087 00:53:13,190 --> 00:53:17,170 Milk--whole-- we all grew up 1088 00:53:17,190 --> 00:53:20,010 on whole milk. 1089 00:53:20,030 --> 00:53:22,210 God gave women the ability 1090 00:53:22,230 --> 00:53:26,079 to have milk to feed their children 1091 00:53:26,099 --> 00:53:28,000 from the beginning of time. 1092 00:53:28,019 --> 00:53:31,099 Milk was created to nurture our families. 1093 00:53:31,119 --> 00:53:34,230 And now milk is bad. 1094 00:53:34,250 --> 00:53:37,159 Why? 1095 00:53:37,179 --> 00:53:40,010 Whole milk-- nobody drinks whole milk. 1096 00:53:40,030 --> 00:53:41,190 If you go to Starbucks and you say, 1097 00:53:41,210 --> 00:53:44,139 "Can I have some whole milk?" "Get the fuck out of here. 1098 00:53:44,159 --> 00:53:46,050 "Son of a bitch. 1099 00:53:46,070 --> 00:53:48,079 We're working!" 1100 00:53:50,059 --> 00:53:53,059 When you grow up poor, you don't want 2% of the milk. 1101 00:53:53,079 --> 00:53:56,019 You want the whole milk. 1102 00:53:56,039 --> 00:53:58,139 I want all the milk. 1103 00:53:58,159 --> 00:54:01,269 I don't want 2% of it. 1104 00:54:01,289 --> 00:54:05,170 Then people have peanut allergies and nut allergies 1105 00:54:05,190 --> 00:54:08,070 and they're allergic to milk, but then there's almond milk. 1106 00:54:08,090 --> 00:54:11,039 What the fuck is that? 1107 00:54:11,059 --> 00:54:13,210 Even you don't even know! 1108 00:54:13,230 --> 00:54:18,070 "I'm lactose-intolerant." "No you're not--you can't hang." 1109 00:54:18,090 --> 00:54:21,269 [speaking Spanish] 1110 00:54:21,289 --> 00:54:24,250 You wanna be another asshole in line bitching about milk? 1111 00:54:24,269 --> 00:54:28,019 "Is this 2%? Because I can only have 1%. 1112 00:54:28,039 --> 00:54:30,179 "Is this 2%? You're not the manager. 1113 00:54:30,199 --> 00:54:32,280 "Are you the manager? Hi, is this 2%? 1114 00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:34,170 Because I can only have 1%." 1115 00:54:34,190 --> 00:54:36,079 I got outta line. I grabbed that dude's latte. 1116 00:54:36,099 --> 00:54:37,170 I spill half. "Here, motherfucker. 1117 00:54:37,190 --> 00:54:41,110 "Now it's 1%. Get your ass outta line! 1118 00:54:41,130 --> 00:54:45,230 You don't look like you're a 2% anything, you fat bastard." 1119 00:54:47,059 --> 00:54:48,179 I didn't say it. I tweeted it, 1120 00:54:48,199 --> 00:54:50,210 'cause then it doesn't count. 1121 00:54:52,039 --> 00:54:54,119 Tweets. 1122 00:54:54,139 --> 00:54:56,099 Let me tell you-- my grandfather's brother 1123 00:54:56,119 --> 00:54:57,269 had a ranch in Mexico. 1124 00:54:57,289 --> 00:54:59,230 We used to go. The most disgusting thing 1125 00:54:59,250 --> 00:55:02,280 I've ever seen was my grandfather milking a goat. 1126 00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:05,250 [gagging] 1127 00:55:05,269 --> 00:55:08,050 And that goat wasn't clean. Ugh. 1128 00:55:08,070 --> 00:55:10,199 [speaking Spanglish] In his eyes. 1129 00:55:10,219 --> 00:55:12,179 He didn't even wave 'em off with his ears anymore. 1130 00:55:12,199 --> 00:55:14,119 He was like, "Hey..." [mutters] 1131 00:55:14,139 --> 00:55:16,059 And my grandfather's milking this goat, 1132 00:55:16,079 --> 00:55:18,000 and we're like... [gagging] 1133 00:55:18,019 --> 00:55:19,250 [retches] 1134 00:55:21,250 --> 00:55:23,039 He had that much milk. 1135 00:55:23,059 --> 00:55:25,179 Even the goat came out of the barn and looked... 1136 00:55:27,250 --> 00:55:30,159 "He's not gonna drink that shit, is he?" 1137 00:55:30,179 --> 00:55:33,070 He tried to warn him. [bleating] 1138 00:55:34,280 --> 00:55:38,070 [bleating] 1139 00:55:38,090 --> 00:55:39,199 Ah! 1140 00:55:45,210 --> 00:55:46,289 We make America great. 1141 00:55:47,010 --> 00:55:50,070 Everybody that gets up and works hard every day 1142 00:55:50,090 --> 00:55:51,199 makes America great. 1143 00:55:51,219 --> 00:55:54,130 It's already great. It's the greatest place to live. 1144 00:55:54,150 --> 00:55:56,030 Go live somewhere else! 1145 00:55:56,050 --> 00:55:57,170 [applause] 1146 00:55:57,190 --> 00:56:00,239 We love this country. We're not terrorists, okay? 1147 00:56:00,260 --> 00:56:02,289 Latinos aren't terrorists. But I'ma tell you right now, 1148 00:56:03,010 --> 00:56:06,130 if we were, we'd be the best. 1149 00:56:06,150 --> 00:56:10,070 The number one ingredient in making a bomb: 1150 00:56:10,090 --> 00:56:12,090 fertilizer. 1151 00:56:12,110 --> 00:56:14,119 [laughter] 1152 00:56:19,079 --> 00:56:21,269 "You want 10 tons." 1153 00:56:23,289 --> 00:56:26,019 "We're doin' a big yard." 1154 00:56:26,039 --> 00:56:28,079 [laughter] 1155 00:56:28,099 --> 00:56:31,000 "And we're putting in a fountain." 1156 00:56:32,289 --> 00:56:34,199 We can't be terrorists. 1157 00:56:34,219 --> 00:56:36,099 Because terrorists take responsibility. 1158 00:56:36,119 --> 00:56:38,070 Latinos? "No. 1159 00:56:38,090 --> 00:56:40,090 "It was already like that when I got there. 1160 00:56:40,110 --> 00:56:42,130 "I didn't-- I didn't do it. 1161 00:56:42,150 --> 00:56:44,289 It was like that." 1162 00:56:45,010 --> 00:56:46,289 They'll be talking on the news. "What happened? 1163 00:56:47,010 --> 00:56:49,039 "I heard a boom, and then somebody yelled, 'Raiders!' 1164 00:56:49,059 --> 00:56:50,230 and they ran off." 1165 00:56:50,250 --> 00:56:54,159 That's how you know we did it. "Raiders!" 1166 00:56:54,179 --> 00:56:57,099 So, try to build a wall. Go ahead, try to build it. 1167 00:56:57,119 --> 00:56:59,150 Use taxpayer money even though you said 1168 00:56:59,170 --> 00:57:01,070 you were gonna get Mexico to pay for it. 1169 00:57:01,090 --> 00:57:04,000 Mexico ain't paying for shit. I coulda told you that. 1170 00:57:04,019 --> 00:57:06,179 We can't even split a fuckin' check. 1171 00:57:09,119 --> 00:57:11,070 You get the check: "I-I don't even eat. 1172 00:57:11,090 --> 00:57:14,090 "What's this bullshit? I didn't even eat! 1173 00:57:14,110 --> 00:57:17,179 Kale--I don't eat Kale, vato, I don't eat kale!" 1174 00:57:20,090 --> 00:57:22,059 I'ma tell you something right now. 1175 00:57:22,079 --> 00:57:25,050 As long as George Lopez is alive-- 1176 00:57:25,070 --> 00:57:28,239 and my cholesterol level's pretty high, so I don't know-- 1177 00:57:28,260 --> 00:57:31,050 but as long as George Lopez is alive, 1178 00:57:31,070 --> 00:57:34,010 I promise you, I will never, ever 1179 00:57:34,030 --> 00:57:37,230 let anyone disparage Latinos or Mexicans 1180 00:57:37,250 --> 00:57:39,179 as long as I'm alive. 1181 00:57:39,199 --> 00:57:42,210 [loud cheers and applause] 1182 00:57:49,050 --> 00:57:50,139 - We love you, George! 1183 00:57:50,159 --> 00:57:52,119 - I love you, baby, thank you. 1184 00:57:52,139 --> 00:57:53,199 When Donald Trump announced 1185 00:57:53,219 --> 00:57:55,019 he was running for president, 1186 00:57:55,039 --> 00:57:57,050 he called Mexicans rapists and criminals. 1187 00:57:57,070 --> 00:58:00,030 When I see him, I'm gonna rob him and fuck him. 1188 00:58:00,050 --> 00:58:03,059 [laughter, applause] 1189 00:58:14,059 --> 00:58:17,280 [laughter] 1190 00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:19,099 And let me tell you something. 1191 00:58:19,119 --> 00:58:21,250 You better build that wall in one day. 1192 00:58:21,269 --> 00:58:23,269 One day, you better build that wall, 1193 00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:27,130 because if you leave all that material out there overnight... 1194 00:58:27,150 --> 00:58:29,219 [laughter] 1195 00:58:29,239 --> 00:58:32,250 [cheers and applause] 1196 00:58:40,179 --> 00:58:43,150 [rock music] 1197 00:58:43,170 --> 00:58:50,179 ♪ ♪ 1198 00:58:54,239 --> 00:58:57,260 [cheers and applause continue] 1199 00:59:01,250 --> 00:59:08,260 ♪ ♪ 1200 00:59:22,070 --> 00:59:24,030 [inaudible] 1201 00:59:24,050 --> 00:59:27,059 [cheers and applause continue] 1202 00:59:38,239 --> 00:59:41,239 [cheers and applause continue] 1203 00:59:41,260 --> 00:59:43,239 ♪ ♪ 1204 00:59:43,260 --> 00:59:46,210 [bright tone]