1 00:01:42,135 --> 00:01:48,340 I feel like I have to perform around you. 2 00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:50,542 It's just me. 3 00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:52,711 It's just Walter. 4 00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:56,448 Maybe it's not bad if I feel that way. 5 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:59,184 I used to entertain a lot. 6 00:01:59,186 --> 00:02:00,853 I remember. 7 00:02:00,855 --> 00:02:02,187 Do you? 8 00:02:02,189 --> 00:02:02,187 Of course. 9 00:02:06,392 --> 00:02:07,459 Marjorie, where are the dishes? 10 00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:15,834 The girl did them, Julie. 11 00:02:15,836 --> 00:02:17,703 She doesn't come until two. 12 00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:19,538 I did them. 13 00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:23,509 You didn't, your arthritis. 14 00:02:23,511 --> 00:02:26,512 I'm having a good day. 15 00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:31,850 Marjorie, we both know what no dishes means. 16 00:02:31,852 --> 00:02:33,886 It means i haven't been eating. 17 00:02:36,756 --> 00:02:38,490 Only a spoonful of peanut butter. 18 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,292 I'm not hungry. 19 00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:43,529 It's their fault, feeding me all those pills. 20 00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:45,330 The pills are their fault or your doctors? 21 00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:52,371 Only a spoonful? 22 00:02:58,278 --> 00:03:01,647 Can I still play the violin? 23 00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:04,583 I'm sure it's all in your head still, but your hands. 24 00:03:09,489 --> 00:03:12,624 [Music - Bryce dessner and Richard Reed parry, 25 00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:20,399 "wave movements"] 26 00:03:46,259 --> 00:03:47,659 I could tell you a story. 27 00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:49,962 You liked that the last time. 28 00:03:49,964 --> 00:03:52,998 I'll have to take your word for it. 29 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,968 I could tell you about the time we saw a movie. 30 00:03:55,970 --> 00:03:57,869 We went to a lot of movies. 31 00:03:57,871 --> 00:04:01,740 But one time we saw "my best friend's wedding." 32 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:04,009 "My best friend's wedding." 33 00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:07,746 There was a woman, Julia Roberts. 34 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:11,016 For a while, it was always Julia Roberts. 35 00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:13,552 And she had an agreement with her best friend, her male best 36 00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:15,487 friend, that if they weren't married 37 00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:17,589 by the time they hit a certain age, 38 00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:20,325 they would marry each other. 39 00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:23,996 And she was about to remind him of this agreement 40 00:04:23,998 --> 00:04:25,697 when it turns out he had already fallen 41 00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:30,402 in love with a nice blonde, Cameron Diaz. 42 00:04:30,404 --> 00:04:33,038 So Julia Roberts spends the entire movie 43 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,007 trying to ruin things between her friend 44 00:04:35,009 --> 00:04:38,810 and Cameron Diaz, which isn't very sympathetic behavior 45 00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:42,547 for America's sweetheart. 46 00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:44,616 But in the end, it all works out. 47 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:47,552 And she has a gay best friend who delivers one liners. 48 00:04:50,390 --> 00:04:53,659 You said you wanted a gay best friend afterwards. 49 00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:54,926 I had a gay best friend. 50 00:04:54,928 --> 00:04:55,894 I had two of them. 51 00:04:58,831 --> 00:04:59,731 I'll remember that now. 52 00:05:03,336 --> 00:05:09,508 Why did you pick that story, "my best friend's wedding?" 53 00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:12,044 That was the night i proposed to you. 54 00:05:12,046 --> 00:05:18,483 Oh Marjorie, the things you forget. 55 00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:19,918 That's ok. 56 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:24,456 You were trying to tell me and I wouldn't let you. 57 00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:27,893 What if we saw "Casablanca" instead. 58 00:05:27,895 --> 00:05:32,464 Let's say that we saw "Casablanca" in an old movie 59 00:05:32,466 --> 00:05:35,100 theater with velvet seats, and then on the way home 60 00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:35,967 you proposed. 61 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:43,075 And then by the next time we talk it will be true. 62 00:05:45,778 --> 00:05:47,813 You mean make it up? 63 00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:51,650 Oh, you're very serious. 64 00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:53,785 Oh, you're like them, especially Tess. 65 00:05:56,489 --> 00:05:57,923 Our daughter. 66 00:05:57,925 --> 00:06:02,828 Our daughter, Tess, and her over-solicitous husband. 67 00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:05,897 No-- no, no that's not fair. 68 00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:07,833 I like him. 69 00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:09,935 I didn't then. 70 00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:11,903 But now I do. 71 00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:15,140 Do you like me? 72 00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:16,808 Don't be an idiot. 73 00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:18,744 Don't call me an idiot. 74 00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:21,046 Idiot. 75 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,881 Why do you like me if I'm an idiot? 76 00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:27,953 What? 77 00:06:30,690 --> 00:06:33,625 I'll get in trouble. 78 00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:36,161 In trouble? 79 00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:38,897 For talking to you that way, in trouble with Tess. 80 00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:46,571 You don't always understand, do you? 81 00:06:51,878 --> 00:06:54,713 Tell me about the time we got Toni. 82 00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:56,415 I told you that story yesterday. 83 00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:57,149 I like that story. 84 00:07:04,023 --> 00:07:07,993 There was once a couple, a very fine, young couple. 85 00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:10,829 And he had a good strong jaw. 86 00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:13,198 He was a little too pleased with himself. 87 00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:23,775 He had a good strong jaw, and he was a little too 88 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:26,578 pleased with himself. 89 00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:29,915 And she was the most beautiful woman in town. 90 00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:33,185 It wasn't a very big town, but she was the queen of it. 91 00:07:33,187 --> 00:07:36,855 It sounds like a fairy tale when you tell it. 92 00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:37,722 It is a fairy tale. 93 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,594 That's not very nice. 94 00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:43,895 - I don't mean that-- - I thought that-- 95 00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:45,163 --it never happened. 96 00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:46,932 --You were supposed to provide comfort. 97 00:07:46,934 --> 00:07:50,469 I meant that that's the way it happened, like a fairy tale. 98 00:07:50,471 --> 00:07:53,038 It was? 99 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,607 Now this couple was feeling a bit lonely, 100 00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:58,743 because they didn't have any children yet. 101 00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:01,046 So one day they decided it was time to get a dog. 102 00:08:01,048 --> 00:08:03,682 They took the bus down to the city pound. 103 00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:06,151 And there was a little black dog there asleep, 104 00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:13,024 its tummy going up and down like a little sleeping shadow. 105 00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:14,159 And so they named it Toni. 106 00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,060 Toni. 107 00:08:15,062 --> 00:08:16,094 Toni with an I. 108 00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:16,995 With an I. 109 00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:18,997 Short for antoinette. 110 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:23,168 She had a French name because she was a French poodle. 111 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:26,605 But not the fussy kind that look like hedges. 112 00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:29,941 No, this was a poodle for fetching sticks 113 00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:31,543 and running on the beach. 114 00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:34,646 So they took her home on the bus. 115 00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:36,781 She was very well behaved. 116 00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:39,050 And they loved her, and she loved 117 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:43,255 them back for a long time. 118 00:08:43,257 --> 00:08:48,860 And then, like everything else, she died. 119 00:08:54,934 --> 00:08:57,936 Would you like me to keep going? 120 00:08:57,938 --> 00:09:00,639 There's more after she died? 121 00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:01,940 Yes. 122 00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:05,877 Because the couple, soon after, had a child. 123 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,679 Tess. 124 00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:11,049 Which is a variation on Tessa, which is Greek for "gatherer." 125 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:13,118 Oh, don't show off. 126 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:16,922 So when Tess was three years old, they went to the pound. 127 00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:17,856 Oh, yes. 128 00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:19,257 The same pound. 129 00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,726 They had an old Subaru by this point, 130 00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,795 so they didn't have to take the bus. 131 00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:27,599 And of course, they let young Tess pick out the new dog. 132 00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:29,668 There were more dogs there. 133 00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:33,338 A cocker spaniel, a noble gray pointer, 134 00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:35,340 and a very attractive mutt. 135 00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:38,343 But the amazing thing, was Tess picked 136 00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:41,313 the poodle, the little black sleeping shadow. 137 00:09:41,315 --> 00:09:43,281 That was the one she liked the best. 138 00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:47,619 And so we named it Toni two. 139 00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:48,887 Toni two. 140 00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:51,256 But that was soon shortened to just Toni. 141 00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:56,294 And of course, it wasn't exactly Toni. 142 00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:58,330 But the longer they had her, the less 143 00:09:58,332 --> 00:10:01,333 it mattered which Toni it was that ran along the beach, 144 00:10:01,335 --> 00:10:05,003 and which Toni it was the dug up all the bulbs in the garden. 145 00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:09,207 The more time that passed, the more she became 146 00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:10,742 the same dog in their memories. 147 00:10:14,013 --> 00:10:16,748 Who told you all that? 148 00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:18,817 You did. 149 00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:20,952 I talk that much? 150 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,187 Well, you and Jon. 151 00:10:24,991 --> 00:10:29,060 You have your good days when you remember. 152 00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:31,830 Another spoonful? 153 00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:39,104 It was the second Toni who loved the beach. 154 00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:41,206 Though it's a shame we didn't have her longer. 155 00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:48,880 Even though she always had sand in her hair. 156 00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:50,315 Fur? 157 00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:53,985 No, hair like a human sounds right. 158 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:54,886 I'll remember that now. 159 00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:08,333 Something's a little off with the nose. 160 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:09,801 I'm sorry. 161 00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:13,271 Or maybe it's my memory and you're right. 162 00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:22,447 Well, you're a good Walter either way. 163 00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:23,314 Thank you. 164 00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:37,462 Stay with me while? 165 00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:44,903 I don't want to get you in trouble. 166 00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:47,706 You learn like that. 167 00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:51,009 I told you. 168 00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:54,212 What would you like to talk about now? 169 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:56,715 We don't have to talk, we can just sit. 170 00:12:00,486 --> 00:12:03,988 Sometimes I get so tired. 171 00:12:08,994 --> 00:12:12,230 I'll be right here, Marjorie, whenever you need. 172 00:12:15,267 --> 00:12:16,501 I have all the time in the world. 173 00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:36,988 I still don't like it. 174 00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:38,223 What? 175 00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:40,291 The prime. 176 00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:41,760 Ah. 177 00:12:41,762 --> 00:12:44,028 Well, at this stage-- 178 00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:46,331 who said it? 179 00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:49,300 Companionship is the most important thing. 180 00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:52,370 You said it. 181 00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:56,808 It's better than watching television. 182 00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:58,810 As if she's an infant that needs to be pacified. 183 00:13:01,313 --> 00:13:01,312 She's 85. 184 00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:03,782 She wakes up, she doesn't know where she is. 185 00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:07,786 And by the way, what's wrong with being pacified? 186 00:13:35,881 --> 00:13:37,148 She's sleeping. 187 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,117 Those new pills seemed to knock her out. 188 00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:40,451 Peanut butter. 189 00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:42,587 Oh, small miracles. 190 00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:45,290 She's finally coming to my campaign. 191 00:13:45,292 --> 00:13:48,092 Or she's listening to Walter prime. 192 00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:50,995 They say it's like a parrot that way. 193 00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:53,998 Have a spoonful, have a spoonful. 194 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,601 Did you know that parrots live forever? 195 00:13:56,603 --> 00:14:02,373 I have a student who's got her dad's parrot after he died. 196 00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:06,211 And she says even now 20 years later, it 197 00:14:06,213 --> 00:14:08,213 still says things in his voice. 198 00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:09,581 Like what? 199 00:14:09,583 --> 00:14:13,518 Mostly just, hey there, partner. 200 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,854 Words of wisdom. 201 00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:19,023 Well, she says it's not exactly his voice, 202 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,625 but she can definitely tell that it's him. 203 00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:27,565 Did you just-- 204 00:14:34,139 --> 00:14:38,610 the way she's so accepting of it, does that creep you out? 205 00:14:38,612 --> 00:14:40,378 It creeps me out. 206 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:44,115 Does it bother you that your mother is talking to a computer 207 00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:46,251 program, or that a computer program 208 00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:47,418 is pretending to be your dad? 209 00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:49,621 It bothers me that you are helping 210 00:14:49,623 --> 00:14:54,092 it pretend to be some fountain of youth version of my dad. 211 00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:55,994 It's how she remembers him. 212 00:14:55,996 --> 00:14:58,429 And she accepts it, because it's clever. 213 00:14:58,431 --> 00:15:01,532 Clever like a mirror, like a backboard, 214 00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:03,034 no, no it's more than that. 215 00:15:03,036 --> 00:15:04,636 It can look stuff up. 216 00:15:04,638 --> 00:15:06,504 It can talk to other primes. 217 00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:10,041 It's like a child learning to talk, only does it so quickly. 218 00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:12,176 That's how we think we're talking to a human. 219 00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:14,512 The more you talk, the more it absorbs, 220 00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:16,915 including our imperfections. 221 00:15:16,917 --> 00:15:19,217 It can speak in fragments. 222 00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:20,451 It can use non-sequiturs. 223 00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:24,122 It can you know, misplace modifiers. 224 00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:25,456 It can-- 225 00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:27,959 it can run out of steam trying to list things. 226 00:15:30,696 --> 00:15:32,063 So you get. 227 00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:38,169 Are you jealous? 228 00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:39,370 No. 229 00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:40,271 You are. 230 00:15:43,642 --> 00:15:46,544 Am I supposed to just not notice 231 00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:49,480 that she's nicer to that thing than she is to me. 232 00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:53,117 It's your father that she's being nicer to. 233 00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:55,453 Mom, your up. 234 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:56,955 Do you want some tea? 235 00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:58,323 I can put on the kettle. 236 00:15:58,325 --> 00:15:59,958 I ate some peanut butter. 237 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:00,992 Yes, you did. 238 00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:02,727 That's wonderful. 239 00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:05,163 I thought that would make her happy. 240 00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:07,966 Yeah, yeah, I'm very predictable. 241 00:16:07,968 --> 00:16:11,269 Did you sleep well? 242 00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:14,605 I was watching the woman on TV, the strident one, 243 00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:16,307 and then just out. 244 00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:22,480 That's how it should happen when it happens. 245 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:25,149 Don't be morbid, of morbid. 246 00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:26,451 Oh, yes. 247 00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:30,088 Let's all pretend we live forever. 248 00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:33,057 You got your color back. 249 00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:35,326 Thank you, Jon. 250 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,562 It's always nice to be lied to. 251 00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:44,202 I like him more now that he cut off his beard. 252 00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:47,005 That was 30 years ago. 253 00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:48,539 It wasn't. 254 00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:50,742 Yeah, it was. 255 00:16:50,744 --> 00:16:56,314 And you stopped worrying about impressing me, and that helped. 256 00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:59,717 Hey, could you check on the 257 00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:01,586 there was plenty on Monday. 258 00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:05,023 Julie said we ran out last week and it was not pretty. 259 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,731 There is someone in my mind. 260 00:17:16,602 --> 00:17:21,773 I'm trying to figure out who it is. 261 00:17:21,775 --> 00:17:25,676 Raina is coming this weekend, 262 00:17:25,678 --> 00:17:28,513 your loving granddaughter. 263 00:17:28,515 --> 00:17:31,649 I know who Raina is. 264 00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:33,451 How is she? 265 00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:35,353 She's got blue hair. 266 00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:37,789 It suits her. 267 00:17:37,791 --> 00:17:44,095 Nine restoril and six 268 00:17:44,097 --> 00:17:47,732 I remember waking up on a bridge 269 00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,333 with a lot of people around. 270 00:17:53,272 --> 00:17:55,106 Why were you sleeping on a bridge? 271 00:17:55,108 --> 00:17:59,143 This is a dream, I take it? 272 00:17:59,145 --> 00:18:00,711 Maybe Walter would remember. 273 00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:01,612 We could ask Walter. 274 00:18:04,316 --> 00:18:08,786 Mom, dad's been dead for 15 years. 275 00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:12,390 I mean the other Walter, Walter prime? 276 00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:17,795 Ugh, I'm not that far gone. 277 00:19:07,846 --> 00:19:10,615 Detached? 278 00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:12,383 Well, yeah. 279 00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:16,521 By the time I came along, you had kind of removed 280 00:19:16,523 --> 00:19:18,523 yourself from the conversation. 281 00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:20,858 You were outside looking in. 282 00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:25,196 Can you tell me more about my profession, my work? 283 00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:26,831 Haven't you read up on yourself? 284 00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:30,701 In my obituary, professional details were sparse. 285 00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:33,538 Can you describe what I actually did? 286 00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,506 Raping and pillaging. 287 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,208 Excuse me? 288 00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:40,311 That was Tess's joke when i first asked what you did. 289 00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:43,548 You evaluated financial statements, 290 00:19:43,550 --> 00:19:46,584 corporate investments for rich people. 291 00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:49,654 And you gave them advice on how to get richer. 292 00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:52,557 Did I like it? 293 00:19:52,559 --> 00:19:55,426 You were good at it. 294 00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:58,829 You realize this is your house, right? 295 00:19:58,831 --> 00:20:01,399 Tess and I moved in to help Marjorie 296 00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:03,467 10 years after you died. 297 00:20:03,469 --> 00:20:06,604 But before that, when i met you, you were a guy 298 00:20:06,606 --> 00:20:08,906 whose mind was somewhere else. 299 00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:18,549 Also, no offense, you didn't get prettier as you aged. 300 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:21,219 Who does? 301 00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:25,523 Is it weird that Marjorie chose you, younger Walter, 302 00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:26,557 to come back into her life? 303 00:20:29,461 --> 00:20:33,664 I don't believe that you talked to Marjorie about your work, 304 00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:34,732 if that's what you're asking. 305 00:20:37,736 --> 00:20:40,271 What is this music? 306 00:20:40,273 --> 00:20:41,639 I don't remember putting it on. 307 00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:43,341 Poulenc. 308 00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:45,476 Marjorie had asked for it when we spoke last. 309 00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:48,512 I thought it might provide a pleasant atmosphere. 310 00:20:48,514 --> 00:20:49,413 Oh. 311 00:20:53,652 --> 00:20:56,554 Julie, we're ready for you here. 312 00:20:56,556 --> 00:20:57,955 Would you prefer no music? 313 00:20:57,957 --> 00:21:01,525 Yeah maybe, for now. 314 00:21:04,730 --> 00:21:07,798 Um, you can see how stressed Tess has been. 315 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,935 Well, you could if she would talk to you. 316 00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:14,672 We were planning a trip. 317 00:21:14,674 --> 00:21:21,312 But given Marjorie's-- given Marjorie's condition that might 318 00:21:21,314 --> 00:21:22,913 not be a good idea right now. 319 00:21:22,915 --> 00:21:26,384 And Julie is going to be living here 320 00:21:26,386 --> 00:21:29,587 full time to make sure that Marjorie 321 00:21:29,589 --> 00:21:32,823 gets everything that she needs. 322 00:21:32,825 --> 00:21:37,628 So we determined, Tess and I, after some 323 00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:44,001 spirited back and forth, that Julie should um, meet you. 324 00:21:49,441 --> 00:21:50,775 Hello. 325 00:21:50,777 --> 00:21:52,710 Hello. 326 00:21:52,712 --> 00:21:54,645 How are you? 327 00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:56,380 How are you? 328 00:21:56,382 --> 00:21:59,317 I'm fine, thank you. 329 00:21:59,319 --> 00:22:02,620 Why are you repeating everything I say? 330 00:22:02,622 --> 00:22:06,624 This is-- this is Walter, Marjorie's husband. 331 00:22:06,626 --> 00:22:09,460 I believe Tess explained it to you. 332 00:22:09,462 --> 00:22:15,366 Uh, Tess has pretty decent Spanish. 333 00:22:15,368 --> 00:22:16,400 So do I. 334 00:22:16,402 --> 00:22:18,569 Oh, really? 335 00:22:18,571 --> 00:22:19,970 How many other languages? 336 00:22:19,972 --> 00:22:21,539 Many. 337 00:22:21,541 --> 00:22:23,741 Ok, how many? 338 00:22:23,743 --> 00:22:24,709 32. 339 00:22:24,711 --> 00:22:26,811 Well, I have to-- 340 00:22:26,813 --> 00:22:28,412 hmm. 341 00:22:28,414 --> 00:22:32,416 I have to admit, I haven't fully read the brochure. 342 00:22:40,460 --> 00:22:41,826 I'm sorry, what did you just say? 343 00:22:44,730 --> 00:22:47,998 What should we do to help Marjorie? 344 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:51,535 Um-- hmm. 345 00:23:22,501 --> 00:23:23,401 Scotch, rocks. 346 00:23:43,755 --> 00:23:45,723 Tess? 347 00:23:45,725 --> 00:23:47,925 I thought that was you. 348 00:23:47,927 --> 00:23:49,493 I'm so glad you could make it. 349 00:23:54,933 --> 00:23:56,934 Hello? 350 00:23:56,936 --> 00:23:59,637 I'm adjusting one day at a time. 351 00:23:59,639 --> 00:24:03,641 You know, a similar thing happened to monte. 352 00:24:03,643 --> 00:24:05,176 Monte? 353 00:24:05,178 --> 00:24:06,744 Our cat. 354 00:24:06,746 --> 00:24:09,113 Well, oh, you loved monte. 355 00:24:09,115 --> 00:24:10,714 What? 356 00:24:10,716 --> 00:24:11,682 Sorry. 357 00:24:11,684 --> 00:24:12,817 Hi, mom. 358 00:24:12,819 --> 00:24:13,818 We got caught in the downpour. 359 00:24:16,922 --> 00:24:19,690 We're taking refuge in your old stomping ground, the club. 360 00:24:24,596 --> 00:24:26,063 My stomping ground. 361 00:24:26,065 --> 00:24:30,534 I never really stomped, did I. I golfed. 362 00:24:30,536 --> 00:24:32,236 That was more Walter's thing, you know. 363 00:24:36,775 --> 00:24:37,808 Oh, don't fret. 364 00:24:37,810 --> 00:24:40,678 I'm having a good day, I think. 365 00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:42,613 I'm sharp as a tack. 366 00:24:42,615 --> 00:24:44,849 It sounds like you're outside. 367 00:24:44,851 --> 00:24:48,586 Are you outside, mom, in this downpour? 368 00:24:48,588 --> 00:24:49,253 Please get Julie. 369 00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:12,810 The salversons. 370 00:25:12,812 --> 00:25:14,979 My parents used to leave me with the salversons 371 00:25:14,981 --> 00:25:16,280 when they went on trips. 372 00:25:16,282 --> 00:25:20,050 Now Mrs. salverson had a stroke last year. 373 00:25:20,052 --> 00:25:21,285 And she uh-- 374 00:25:24,189 --> 00:25:27,224 I didn't recognize her. 375 00:25:27,226 --> 00:25:31,795 When was the last time we were in this bar? 376 00:25:31,797 --> 00:25:32,730 Walter's funeral. 377 00:25:35,667 --> 00:25:40,204 Memory, sedimentary layers in the brain. 378 00:25:40,206 --> 00:25:42,206 You get in, you know it's there. 379 00:25:42,208 --> 00:25:43,107 You just have to-- 380 00:25:43,109 --> 00:25:44,241 no, no. 381 00:25:44,243 --> 00:25:45,743 I thought you knew the basic idea 382 00:25:45,745 --> 00:25:48,178 according to William James. 383 00:25:48,180 --> 00:25:50,948 Maybe, once long ago. 384 00:25:50,950 --> 00:25:52,750 William James had the idea, and it's 385 00:25:52,752 --> 00:25:58,589 been confirmed scientifically, that memory is not like a well 386 00:25:58,591 --> 00:26:01,692 that you dip into or a filing cabinet. 387 00:26:01,694 --> 00:26:05,596 When you remember something, you remember the memory. 388 00:26:05,598 --> 00:26:09,667 You remember the last time you remembered it, not the source. 389 00:26:09,669 --> 00:26:11,735 So it's always getting fuzzier, like a photocopy 390 00:26:11,737 --> 00:26:13,971 of a photocopy. 391 00:26:13,973 --> 00:26:17,908 It's never getting fresher or clearer. 392 00:26:17,910 --> 00:26:19,877 So even a very strong memory can be 393 00:26:19,879 --> 00:26:26,951 unreliable, because it's always in the process of dissolving. 394 00:26:26,953 --> 00:26:28,619 All I remember about William James 395 00:26:28,621 --> 00:26:31,922 is the gertrude Stein story. 396 00:26:31,924 --> 00:26:34,825 Changing the subject, are we? 397 00:26:34,827 --> 00:26:38,062 She was taking his philosophy course, old gertrude, 398 00:26:38,064 --> 00:26:40,598 at Harvard. 399 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,199 And she hadn't studied. 400 00:26:42,201 --> 00:26:46,670 So she writes in the exam book, I'm sorry, 401 00:26:46,672 --> 00:26:51,208 but I do not feel like taking a philosophy exam today. 402 00:26:51,210 --> 00:26:55,145 And she turns in the book and she walks out. 403 00:26:55,147 --> 00:26:56,146 I think I remember this now. 404 00:26:56,148 --> 00:26:57,681 It's the final exam. 405 00:26:57,683 --> 00:27:02,786 And James writes, I know exactly how you feel. 406 00:27:02,788 --> 00:27:04,855 And he gives her an a. 407 00:27:04,857 --> 00:27:06,857 I suddenly remember that when you 408 00:27:06,859 --> 00:27:11,929 told me this the first time, we were eating vanilla ice cream. 409 00:27:11,931 --> 00:27:13,364 It was pistachio. 410 00:27:13,366 --> 00:27:15,332 You're insane, it was vanilla. 411 00:27:15,334 --> 00:27:19,837 But the thing I wanted to talk about is regrettably, 412 00:27:19,839 --> 00:27:22,840 I think we have to fire Julie. 413 00:27:22,842 --> 00:27:24,174 Really? 414 00:27:24,176 --> 00:27:27,044 She let Marjorie wander outside in this rain. 415 00:27:27,046 --> 00:27:31,115 Dependable, devoted Julie, really? 416 00:27:31,117 --> 00:27:32,916 Well, if you don't mind, I'm going 417 00:27:32,918 --> 00:27:35,119 to have another scotch before we go into battle on this one. 418 00:28:40,151 --> 00:28:42,252 How are you feeling? 419 00:28:42,254 --> 00:28:47,157 Should I be feeling poorly, the way you say it. 420 00:28:47,159 --> 00:28:48,158 Well, you had quite a night. 421 00:28:52,330 --> 00:28:55,332 We found you on the floor in the living room. 422 00:28:55,334 --> 00:28:57,301 You had a fall. 423 00:28:57,303 --> 00:28:59,803 Tess rode with you in the ambulance. 424 00:28:59,805 --> 00:29:02,506 You were pretty alert by the time I got there, already 425 00:29:02,508 --> 00:29:04,475 flirting with the doctor. 426 00:29:04,477 --> 00:29:06,744 I wasn't. 427 00:29:06,746 --> 00:29:08,045 You were. 428 00:29:08,047 --> 00:29:11,048 You always put your best face on for doctors. 429 00:29:11,050 --> 00:29:12,416 What's wrong with that? 430 00:29:12,418 --> 00:29:14,151 Nothing. 431 00:29:14,153 --> 00:29:16,220 Except they don't know whether you're in pain or how bad 432 00:29:16,222 --> 00:29:17,421 it is. 433 00:29:17,423 --> 00:29:19,389 Was he flirting back? 434 00:29:19,391 --> 00:29:21,158 He was. 435 00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:22,793 But I told him he'd better watch out 436 00:29:22,795 --> 00:29:24,495 in case Jean Paul showed up. 437 00:29:24,497 --> 00:29:27,331 You remember Jean Paul? 438 00:29:27,333 --> 00:29:29,266 The tennis pro. 439 00:29:29,268 --> 00:29:31,268 World number eight, if I remember. 440 00:29:31,270 --> 00:29:34,104 I do remember, we looked it up. 441 00:29:34,106 --> 00:29:37,274 But you just strung him along. 442 00:29:37,276 --> 00:29:41,845 Well, you should have talked some sense into me. 443 00:29:41,847 --> 00:29:44,848 Hm, it was a long, long time ago. 444 00:29:44,850 --> 00:29:49,419 And you chose right all by yourself. 445 00:29:49,421 --> 00:29:50,320 You chose Walter. 446 00:29:54,025 --> 00:29:57,861 Walter was not the most beautiful man I was with, 447 00:29:57,863 --> 00:30:01,231 but he was the best lover. 448 00:30:01,233 --> 00:30:06,069 Yeah, I know it's a terrible word, lover. 449 00:30:06,071 --> 00:30:08,272 We need a new word. 450 00:30:08,274 --> 00:30:10,407 I like wooer. 451 00:30:10,409 --> 00:30:13,544 Jean Paul was no match for Walter's woo. 452 00:30:17,081 --> 00:30:19,583 Tess thinks that Dr. Ross is overdoing it 453 00:30:19,585 --> 00:30:20,517 with the sedatives. 454 00:30:20,519 --> 00:30:21,451 That's why you had-- 455 00:31:52,176 --> 00:31:53,076 Walter. 456 00:31:56,481 --> 00:32:00,183 No, not you. 457 00:32:00,185 --> 00:32:01,485 I don't want you, I want Walter. 458 00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:14,498 Ok, I'll come back later when you're feeling better. 459 00:32:28,012 --> 00:32:31,949 I'm not getting better, am I? 460 00:32:31,951 --> 00:32:38,288 They won't tell me anything, but I know. 461 00:32:38,290 --> 00:32:41,458 It's too soon to tell. 462 00:32:41,460 --> 00:32:44,194 You said I'd get better, but you're 463 00:32:44,196 --> 00:32:47,197 the one who's getting better. 464 00:32:47,199 --> 00:32:50,300 We've only been talking a few months. 465 00:32:50,302 --> 00:32:53,403 Part of it is biology. 466 00:32:53,405 --> 00:32:55,572 I know. 467 00:32:55,574 --> 00:32:57,541 Your genetic inclination. 468 00:33:00,478 --> 00:33:07,184 Which is to leave everything behind, to pack lightly. 469 00:33:10,254 --> 00:33:13,757 I don't have to get better, just keep me from getting worse. 470 00:33:17,428 --> 00:33:19,162 Promise. 471 00:33:19,164 --> 00:33:20,063 I can't promise. 472 00:33:33,277 --> 00:33:34,177 Can I play the violin? 473 00:33:37,081 --> 00:33:39,216 I'm sure it's in your head still, but your hands. 474 00:33:44,288 --> 00:33:46,523 What are the four strings called? 475 00:33:46,525 --> 00:33:49,359 G,d, a, e. That's the first lesson. 476 00:33:49,361 --> 00:33:51,528 What else do they teach you in the beginning? 477 00:33:51,530 --> 00:33:53,497 "Twinkle, twinkle." 478 00:33:53,499 --> 00:33:56,400 That's Mozart, did you know that? 479 00:33:56,402 --> 00:33:57,534 Yes. 480 00:33:57,536 --> 00:33:58,602 Not the words. 481 00:33:58,604 --> 00:34:00,037 I know. 482 00:34:00,039 --> 00:34:02,539 Somebody else wrote them years later. 483 00:34:05,410 --> 00:34:08,545 I guess you know everything. 484 00:34:08,547 --> 00:34:11,114 Do you know how to read music? 485 00:34:11,116 --> 00:34:13,784 Walter didn't. 486 00:34:13,786 --> 00:34:14,718 Maybe you could teach me. 487 00:34:19,757 --> 00:34:27,364 How to hold the bow so that everything sings. 488 00:34:27,366 --> 00:34:29,499 How to hold it without holding it, very zen. 489 00:34:36,741 --> 00:34:39,209 You're a fine woman, Marjorie. 490 00:34:39,211 --> 00:34:40,110 Am I? 491 00:34:43,381 --> 00:34:47,551 I'm lucky you chose to spend your life with a lump like me, 492 00:34:47,553 --> 00:34:50,454 especially when you could have had a tennis pro. 493 00:34:50,456 --> 00:34:52,756 You know about that? 494 00:34:52,758 --> 00:34:57,661 Number eight in the world, and French. 495 00:34:57,663 --> 00:34:58,662 French Canadian. 496 00:35:01,699 --> 00:35:03,834 Would you like to hear some music? 497 00:35:03,836 --> 00:35:07,604 [Music - Ludwig Van Beethoven, "quartet in c sharp minor, 498 00:35:07,606 --> 00:35:18,682 opus 131"] 499 00:35:34,765 --> 00:35:37,400 You feeling better? 500 00:35:37,402 --> 00:35:39,836 Wonderful, thank you. 501 00:35:39,838 --> 00:35:40,704 Beautiful day. 502 00:35:44,742 --> 00:35:47,777 Just a blue one in the morning, two pinks at night. 503 00:35:47,779 --> 00:35:49,913 Sounds sensible, doesn't it? 504 00:35:49,915 --> 00:35:51,515 Should make a difference. 505 00:35:54,886 --> 00:35:58,755 If you're up for it, we can take a drive later. 506 00:35:58,757 --> 00:36:00,557 Oh, maybe the estuary. 507 00:36:00,559 --> 00:36:03,426 The geese are back. 508 00:36:03,428 --> 00:36:06,263 We might run a few errands too, if you 509 00:36:06,265 --> 00:36:08,532 don't mind sitting in the car. 510 00:36:08,534 --> 00:36:09,432 Is Damian asleep? 511 00:36:13,171 --> 00:36:17,274 No mom, Damian's not here. 512 00:36:17,276 --> 00:36:23,480 One time, your father and I went to the city 513 00:36:23,482 --> 00:36:26,550 before Christmas. 514 00:36:26,552 --> 00:36:29,319 It was a business trip and I came along. 515 00:36:29,321 --> 00:36:33,456 We must have left you with the salversons. 516 00:36:33,458 --> 00:36:35,292 And we must have done a lot of things, 517 00:36:35,294 --> 00:36:42,332 but all I remember is sitting on a park bench, 518 00:36:42,334 --> 00:36:52,409 just sitting and watching these orange flags in the park. 519 00:36:52,411 --> 00:36:58,315 These orange sorts of flags everywhere. 520 00:36:58,317 --> 00:37:01,351 Orange flags? 521 00:37:01,353 --> 00:37:05,956 Or more-- what's the color? 522 00:37:05,958 --> 00:37:09,492 Spice, Spanish, expensive. 523 00:37:09,494 --> 00:37:11,728 Saffron. 524 00:37:11,730 --> 00:37:13,663 And it didn't matter that it was cold, 525 00:37:13,665 --> 00:37:20,570 because it was so pretty just watching all that saffron 526 00:37:20,572 --> 00:37:27,244 against the blue white snow, like Buddhist 527 00:37:27,246 --> 00:37:31,514 monks marching into the trees. 528 00:37:31,516 --> 00:37:33,817 I just remember sitting on one of those benches 529 00:37:33,819 --> 00:37:38,955 with your father, and not wanting to get up. 530 00:37:43,394 --> 00:37:46,630 Because if we got up, that would mean 531 00:37:46,632 --> 00:37:49,032 we'd have to start the rest of our lives. 532 00:37:53,037 --> 00:37:53,937 What's this? 533 00:37:56,907 --> 00:37:58,575 A Bible. 534 00:37:58,577 --> 00:38:01,578 Yeah, I can see it's a Bible. 535 00:38:01,580 --> 00:38:03,613 What are you doing with it? 536 00:38:03,615 --> 00:38:05,915 Julie brought it yesterday, I think. 537 00:38:09,353 --> 00:38:12,822 She just said if i was interested. 538 00:38:12,824 --> 00:38:15,992 And you told her you were interested? 539 00:38:15,994 --> 00:38:17,761 I didn't say one way or the other. 540 00:38:17,763 --> 00:38:19,696 Should we burn it? 541 00:38:19,698 --> 00:38:20,997 Ha, ha. 542 00:38:20,999 --> 00:38:24,034 My whole life she's told me there is no god, 543 00:38:24,036 --> 00:38:26,436 it's just a fairytale people tell themselves. 544 00:38:26,438 --> 00:38:28,638 Goodness is its own reward. 545 00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:30,740 And now she's letting herself-- 546 00:38:30,742 --> 00:38:34,344 I haven't even opened it. 547 00:38:34,346 --> 00:38:37,414 Julie wanted to share her beliefs with me. 548 00:38:37,416 --> 00:38:38,948 Right. 549 00:38:38,950 --> 00:38:40,917 She said it was a comfort to her when she lost her father. 550 00:38:40,919 --> 00:38:42,719 Uh-huh. 551 00:38:42,721 --> 00:38:46,389 And this is the same Julie who'd been sneaking you cigarettes. 552 00:38:46,391 --> 00:38:48,758 I asked for those cigarettes, demanded them, even. 553 00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:49,959 You can't blame her for that. 554 00:38:49,961 --> 00:38:52,862 She fessed up to it eventually. 555 00:38:52,864 --> 00:38:54,731 It's just a little fucking frustrating 556 00:38:54,733 --> 00:38:57,567 that the same Julie who supplies you with cigarettes 557 00:38:57,569 --> 00:39:00,804 is selling you her fairytale now that you have a little 558 00:39:00,806 --> 00:39:02,339 more reason to believe it. 559 00:39:02,341 --> 00:39:03,773 It's disgusting. 560 00:39:03,775 --> 00:39:05,842 You hear about this, people preying on the elderly. 561 00:39:05,844 --> 00:39:06,976 I'm not prey. 562 00:39:06,978 --> 00:39:08,411 And Julie came clean about them. 563 00:39:08,413 --> 00:39:09,346 She was-- 564 00:39:09,348 --> 00:39:11,514 could you just not-- 565 00:39:11,516 --> 00:39:12,382 like you always do. 566 00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:18,655 No. 567 00:39:18,657 --> 00:39:23,860 Mom, did you have an accident? 568 00:39:23,862 --> 00:39:24,828 It's all right. 569 00:39:24,830 --> 00:39:26,396 Let's get you cleaned up. 570 00:39:26,398 --> 00:39:27,130 Come on. 571 00:39:27,132 --> 00:39:28,031 Ok. 572 00:39:28,033 --> 00:39:29,499 I'm sorry. 573 00:39:29,501 --> 00:39:30,967 - No. - Oh, I'm so sorry. 574 00:39:30,969 --> 00:39:31,868 Don't be sorry. 575 00:39:31,870 --> 00:39:33,670 No, forget it. 576 00:39:33,672 --> 00:39:34,838 Probably will forget it. 577 00:39:37,541 --> 00:39:39,642 Nice hot bath, you'll be good as new. 578 00:39:49,854 --> 00:39:52,756 I want to tell you about the time 579 00:39:52,758 --> 00:39:59,396 that you took Marjorie to New York at christmastime. 580 00:39:59,398 --> 00:40:00,697 I'm listening. 581 00:40:00,699 --> 00:40:03,800 You sat on a bench in central park 582 00:40:03,802 --> 00:40:10,407 and you looked at these saffron colored flags in the snow. 583 00:40:13,177 --> 00:40:16,880 It must have been some kind of festival or something. 584 00:40:19,650 --> 00:40:23,119 This wouldn't have been long after your son died. 585 00:40:23,121 --> 00:40:24,888 My son? 586 00:40:24,890 --> 00:40:25,789 Your son, Damien. 587 00:40:28,793 --> 00:40:33,129 So you took a trip to New York, and you took Marjorie with you. 588 00:40:33,131 --> 00:40:35,732 I think you wanted to get her mind off of it. 589 00:40:35,734 --> 00:40:38,201 You wanted to start living again. 590 00:40:38,203 --> 00:40:42,005 How did he die? 591 00:40:42,007 --> 00:40:42,872 He did it himself. 592 00:40:46,777 --> 00:40:48,144 That wasn't what was so hard. 593 00:40:51,048 --> 00:40:55,919 You thought you had made a nice life for him. 594 00:40:55,921 --> 00:40:56,820 But I hadn't. 595 00:41:00,858 --> 00:41:09,699 Well, Tess got the sense that he was always a little-- 596 00:41:09,701 --> 00:41:10,567 a little-- 597 00:41:13,204 --> 00:41:16,773 he stayed in his room a lot. 598 00:41:16,775 --> 00:41:19,576 He got into a lot of fights at school. 599 00:41:19,578 --> 00:41:23,847 Not fights he started, but kids would tease him 600 00:41:23,849 --> 00:41:25,882 and he would fight back. 601 00:41:30,721 --> 00:41:36,726 You didn't always know how to show him that you loved him. 602 00:41:40,998 --> 00:41:41,898 Why not? 603 00:41:45,169 --> 00:41:47,237 That's the way people are sometimes. 604 00:41:50,007 --> 00:41:53,276 So it's lucky that Toni was around. 605 00:41:53,278 --> 00:41:56,746 He spent a lot of time with her. 606 00:41:56,748 --> 00:42:00,183 What was hard to understand though, 607 00:42:00,185 --> 00:42:05,088 was that he killed Toni. 608 00:42:05,090 --> 00:42:06,923 I think he wanted-- 609 00:42:09,627 --> 00:42:12,295 he must have thought that he could 610 00:42:12,297 --> 00:42:14,664 take her with him, that's why. 611 00:42:28,779 --> 00:42:33,082 If you're Walter, you would know that, wouldn't you? 612 00:42:36,153 --> 00:42:38,288 Yes, I would. 613 00:42:38,290 --> 00:42:43,192 He never got over it, of course. 614 00:42:43,194 --> 00:42:47,096 But it was Marjorie who had the hardest time. 615 00:42:47,098 --> 00:42:51,301 For 50 years, she never said his name. 616 00:42:51,303 --> 00:42:54,337 She hid all the pictures. 617 00:42:54,339 --> 00:42:57,640 It was that hard. 618 00:42:57,642 --> 00:43:01,044 But she never forgot him, Walter. 619 00:43:01,046 --> 00:43:01,978 She never forgot. 620 00:43:04,882 --> 00:43:05,748 I'll remember that now. 621 00:43:20,731 --> 00:43:23,833 It's a shame you can't drink. 622 00:43:23,835 --> 00:43:26,903 They should, I think, work out a setting 623 00:43:26,905 --> 00:43:31,941 that approximates graduated layers of inebriation. 624 00:43:31,943 --> 00:43:34,677 It would loosen you up. 625 00:43:34,679 --> 00:43:40,216 There is no need to mention any of this to Tess, by the way. 626 00:43:40,218 --> 00:43:42,185 You understand? 627 00:43:42,187 --> 00:43:44,821 You can tell Tess we talk, but there's 628 00:43:44,823 --> 00:43:47,757 no reason to be specific. 629 00:43:47,759 --> 00:43:50,360 And don't ever mention Damien to Tess. 630 00:43:53,063 --> 00:43:54,297 I'm being clear, ok. 631 00:43:57,134 --> 00:44:01,404 Honestly Walter, all relationships, 632 00:44:01,406 --> 00:44:07,276 even the long lasting ones, are impossible. 633 00:44:07,278 --> 00:44:11,047 Marriages, friendships, people are constantly 634 00:44:11,049 --> 00:44:14,717 looking the other way, accepting some bad news, 635 00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:17,887 petty infringements, compromise, betrayal. 636 00:44:29,133 --> 00:44:32,669 You have to decide. 637 00:44:32,671 --> 00:44:38,875 You say, I want you, I want this. 638 00:44:38,877 --> 00:44:41,377 And then you work through all the disappointments 639 00:44:41,379 --> 00:44:42,812 and disasters. 640 00:44:42,814 --> 00:44:45,281 You work through it, against all odds. 641 00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:53,956 I'm not drunk, you know. 642 00:44:53,958 --> 00:44:57,960 I'm just taking the edge off, I'm tipsy. 643 00:44:57,962 --> 00:45:02,699 There are degrees-- tipsy, tipped, smashed. 644 00:45:07,438 --> 00:45:11,908 Nobody is who he was, nor will be who he is now. 645 00:45:25,756 --> 00:45:26,422 Hey there, partner. 646 00:45:51,248 --> 00:45:52,148 She's sleeping. 647 00:45:57,387 --> 00:46:00,757 Yesterday, she didn't know who I was. 648 00:46:00,759 --> 00:46:01,424 Today, we're old friends. 649 00:46:05,863 --> 00:46:09,932 She tells me, never get old. 650 00:46:09,934 --> 00:46:13,035 She says, no one prepares you for this. 651 00:46:16,874 --> 00:46:19,509 She doesn't know about my last job. 652 00:46:19,511 --> 00:46:25,348 And old man, very tall and dignified, but very sick. 653 00:46:25,350 --> 00:46:27,517 He was always vomiting. 654 00:46:27,519 --> 00:46:33,256 That was a big part of my job, cleaning up vomit. 655 00:46:33,258 --> 00:46:36,225 The man's son became my boyfriend. 656 00:46:36,227 --> 00:46:39,495 He was always fighting with his father and his father's doctor. 657 00:46:42,199 --> 00:46:45,802 At one point, he started to beat up the doctor. 658 00:46:45,804 --> 00:46:47,436 This job is much better. 659 00:46:52,409 --> 00:46:53,876 Don't cry. 660 00:46:53,878 --> 00:46:56,179 It'll be all right. 661 00:46:56,181 --> 00:46:59,315 I'm not crying. 662 00:46:59,317 --> 00:47:00,383 I have allergies. 663 00:47:38,922 --> 00:47:43,559 Six months, maybe, or three or four. 664 00:47:43,561 --> 00:47:46,329 You going to tell me that Walter thought this one up? 665 00:47:46,331 --> 00:47:50,132 What, all of a sudden I'm supposed to drop out of school? 666 00:47:50,134 --> 00:47:52,168 Forget my family, forget my career. 667 00:47:52,170 --> 00:47:54,270 Forget about all the things i had planned for my life. 668 00:47:54,272 --> 00:47:56,639 Well, forgive me for screwing up your plans. 669 00:47:56,641 --> 00:47:58,307 I'm just sure glad I'm hearing about this now 670 00:47:58,309 --> 00:47:59,642 before it's too late. 671 00:47:59,644 --> 00:48:01,177 What is that supposed to mean? 672 00:48:01,179 --> 00:48:03,145 What am I supposed to do with my life, huh? 673 00:48:03,147 --> 00:48:06,182 I work in that low paying, zero respect job. 674 00:48:06,184 --> 00:48:09,485 Which unfortunately, i happen to love. 675 00:48:09,487 --> 00:48:13,956 Why don't you start by being honest one second, Kim. 676 00:48:13,958 --> 00:48:15,258 I am being honest. 677 00:48:31,141 --> 00:48:33,542 You're still too old for me. 678 00:48:33,544 --> 00:48:36,479 Hmm, how can you say that? 679 00:48:41,952 --> 00:48:42,618 Marry me, Marjorie? 680 00:48:45,355 --> 00:48:46,622 We'll grow old together. 681 00:48:46,624 --> 00:48:49,659 I'll just do it a little sooner than you. 682 00:48:49,661 --> 00:48:52,194 After a while, it won't really matter. 683 00:49:11,114 --> 00:49:12,949 But how can you be so sure? 684 00:49:15,986 --> 00:49:19,021 Sure about? 685 00:49:19,023 --> 00:49:24,260 Yourself, me, anything? 686 00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:32,548 That sweater is good on you. 687 00:52:32,550 --> 00:52:34,316 Thank you. 688 00:52:34,318 --> 00:52:37,553 You picked it out for me, remember? 689 00:52:37,555 --> 00:52:39,421 Three christmases ago. 690 00:52:39,423 --> 00:52:42,324 Three years isn't a long time, not for me. 691 00:52:46,263 --> 00:52:50,366 Remember when we took Toni to the beach? 692 00:52:50,368 --> 00:52:51,734 Yes, of course. 693 00:52:51,736 --> 00:52:53,302 She was so happy. 694 00:52:53,304 --> 00:52:57,373 But we were finding sand in her fur for weeks. 695 00:52:57,375 --> 00:53:00,676 She was a good dog. 696 00:53:00,678 --> 00:53:02,678 Jon wants to get a dog. 697 00:53:02,680 --> 00:53:04,513 Oh? 698 00:53:04,515 --> 00:53:08,417 He wants a fetch the stick kind of a dog. 699 00:53:08,419 --> 00:53:11,253 But I was thinking a shiba inu. 700 00:53:11,255 --> 00:53:14,256 What's a shiba inu? 701 00:53:14,258 --> 00:53:17,726 It's like the national dog of Japan. 702 00:53:17,728 --> 00:53:21,564 It's like a friendly little fox, very 703 00:53:21,566 --> 00:53:25,467 clean, very quiet, very shy. 704 00:53:25,469 --> 00:53:26,435 Well, what do you expect? 705 00:53:29,639 --> 00:53:31,207 You-- you mean-- 706 00:53:31,209 --> 00:53:33,375 it's Japan. 707 00:53:33,377 --> 00:53:34,677 Mom, that's very-- 708 00:53:34,679 --> 00:53:37,947 it's not racist, it's a compliment. 709 00:53:37,949 --> 00:53:40,649 For years, Sandy park was my best friend. 710 00:53:40,651 --> 00:53:43,319 We played in the orchestra together. 711 00:53:43,321 --> 00:53:48,924 Korean, but-- I'm not racist. 712 00:53:48,926 --> 00:53:52,828 Your poor old mother was born in the 20th century. 713 00:53:52,830 --> 00:53:54,830 You'll have to give her time to catch up. 714 00:53:57,701 --> 00:54:00,970 The problem-- the problem with a dog 715 00:54:00,972 --> 00:54:06,408 is Jon and I want to travel, and who would take care of it? 716 00:54:06,410 --> 00:54:07,676 I would. 717 00:54:07,678 --> 00:54:08,911 Ha, wish that were possible. 718 00:54:11,648 --> 00:54:13,716 Jon wants me to consider a catahoula. 719 00:54:16,786 --> 00:54:20,556 You can look it up, I know you can. 720 00:54:20,558 --> 00:54:24,260 Is it against the rules? 721 00:54:24,262 --> 00:54:29,031 It's also known as a catahoula leopard hound. 722 00:54:29,033 --> 00:54:30,666 A hound dog. 723 00:54:30,668 --> 00:54:34,436 It's not really a true hound dog though, but a cur. 724 00:54:34,438 --> 00:54:40,843 Named state dog of Louisiana in 1979. 725 00:54:40,845 --> 00:54:43,746 I'm not really good at this. 726 00:54:43,748 --> 00:54:45,681 Good at? 727 00:54:45,683 --> 00:54:50,719 At pretending that you're-- 728 00:54:50,721 --> 00:54:55,958 sometimes you are so good, you are so her. 729 00:54:55,960 --> 00:55:01,030 That bit with the subtle racism. 730 00:55:01,032 --> 00:55:05,868 But other times it's uh, all too apparent. 731 00:55:05,870 --> 00:55:10,773 Try to be patient with me. 732 00:55:10,775 --> 00:55:13,075 If I could give you a spoonful of peanut butter, 733 00:55:13,077 --> 00:55:16,412 that would help. 734 00:55:16,414 --> 00:55:19,882 You could smile less. 735 00:55:19,884 --> 00:55:21,750 That would be more her. 736 00:55:21,752 --> 00:55:23,052 - Me? - You. 737 00:55:23,054 --> 00:55:24,453 - Yeah. - Yeah. 738 00:55:24,455 --> 00:55:27,556 Thank you for observing that rule. 739 00:55:27,558 --> 00:55:29,425 Pronouns are powerful things. 740 00:55:34,731 --> 00:55:36,532 Why don't you tell me more about myself. 741 00:55:39,102 --> 00:55:42,838 I don't smile much, you said. 742 00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:44,406 Toward the end, you were self-conscious 743 00:55:44,408 --> 00:55:47,509 about your teeth. 744 00:55:47,511 --> 00:55:48,911 I'm vain? 745 00:55:48,913 --> 00:55:50,913 A little. 746 00:55:50,915 --> 00:55:53,716 That's helpful. 747 00:55:53,718 --> 00:55:54,883 You had a temper. 748 00:55:54,885 --> 00:55:58,754 I sound wonderful. 749 00:55:58,756 --> 00:56:02,057 Do I have other children besides you? 750 00:56:02,059 --> 00:56:05,661 No, just me. 751 00:56:05,663 --> 00:56:07,496 What a lot of pressure for you. 752 00:56:10,967 --> 00:56:12,134 Did I say something wrong? 753 00:56:15,105 --> 00:56:18,640 No, you didn't. 754 00:56:18,642 --> 00:56:21,877 You were saying just you. 755 00:56:21,879 --> 00:56:25,681 You also have a granddaughter named Raina. 756 00:56:25,683 --> 00:56:27,416 She's 23. 757 00:56:27,418 --> 00:56:28,550 She's in a band. 758 00:56:28,552 --> 00:56:32,821 She's musical, like me. 759 00:56:32,823 --> 00:56:35,657 Raina doesn't talk to me. 760 00:56:35,659 --> 00:56:39,495 Her therapist said it would be better for now. 761 00:56:39,497 --> 00:56:41,563 Someone I've never met has advised 762 00:56:41,565 --> 00:56:44,666 my daughter not to talk to me. 763 00:56:44,668 --> 00:56:48,971 So she calls Jon and he fills me in. 764 00:56:48,973 --> 00:56:52,141 It's humiliating. 765 00:56:52,143 --> 00:56:54,910 She's 23, giver her room. 766 00:56:54,912 --> 00:56:56,879 She'll work through it. 767 00:56:56,881 --> 00:56:59,848 Now you sound like Jon. 768 00:56:59,850 --> 00:57:00,716 Yes. 769 00:57:04,053 --> 00:57:08,757 You haven't finished telling me what I'm like. 770 00:57:08,759 --> 00:57:12,027 Well, you certainly wouldn't stand for your daughter giving 771 00:57:12,029 --> 00:57:15,497 you the silent treatment. 772 00:57:15,499 --> 00:57:16,999 You were a violinist. 773 00:57:17,001 --> 00:57:19,067 You were better than good. 774 00:57:19,069 --> 00:57:23,439 You were better at the violin than I am at anything. 775 00:57:23,441 --> 00:57:27,509 But when you couldn't play any more from arthritis, 776 00:57:27,511 --> 00:57:30,679 you just seemed to leave it behind. 777 00:57:30,681 --> 00:57:33,549 We were all surprised that you could just-- 778 00:57:38,955 --> 00:57:40,823 you were good with men. 779 00:57:40,825 --> 00:57:44,126 I don't think you had many female friends. 780 00:57:44,128 --> 00:57:46,862 And I think you wanted me to be good with men too. 781 00:57:46,864 --> 00:57:52,134 It bothered you that i was always in my own head. 782 00:57:52,136 --> 00:57:57,673 And Jon was not glamorous enough for you. 783 00:57:57,675 --> 00:57:58,874 Glamorous? 784 00:57:58,876 --> 00:58:00,809 He didn't impress you. 785 00:58:11,688 --> 00:58:16,091 You and dad fought, but you loved each other. 786 00:58:16,093 --> 00:58:19,261 I don't think either one of you was more in love 787 00:58:19,263 --> 00:58:21,196 than the other one, which is always lucky. 788 00:58:24,501 --> 00:58:27,803 But the age difference really started 789 00:58:27,805 --> 00:58:29,505 to matter the last few years. 790 00:58:32,842 --> 00:58:35,744 Maybe he loved you a little more, 791 00:58:35,746 --> 00:58:37,813 or needed you a little more. 792 00:58:41,551 --> 00:58:44,253 Later, when you were living with us, 793 00:58:44,255 --> 00:58:47,589 you would sometimes forget that Walter was dead. 794 00:58:47,591 --> 00:58:51,693 Sometimes every day, where's Walter? 795 00:58:51,695 --> 00:58:55,831 And we would have to kill him all over again. 796 00:58:55,833 --> 00:59:01,103 But once we reminded you, you would say, how nice 797 00:59:01,105 --> 00:59:03,305 that I could love somebody. 798 00:59:03,307 --> 00:59:05,941 And I always wondered if that was 799 00:59:05,943 --> 00:59:10,045 how you really felt, at peace. 800 00:59:10,047 --> 00:59:13,949 But it was a nice way to put it. 801 00:59:13,951 --> 00:59:18,053 How nice that i could love someone. 802 00:59:18,055 --> 00:59:20,289 It's not really that different. 803 00:59:20,291 --> 00:59:22,024 What? 804 00:59:22,026 --> 00:59:26,828 This, from what we used to do for the last year or two. 805 00:59:26,830 --> 00:59:30,933 We would sit there and tell you what you what you were like. 806 00:59:30,935 --> 00:59:35,037 You were almost guilty for still being around. 807 00:59:35,039 --> 00:59:35,904 You felt so useless. 808 00:59:39,042 --> 00:59:42,978 Let me see, what else? 809 00:59:42,980 --> 00:59:46,048 You were very good with animals. 810 00:59:46,050 --> 00:59:48,817 Toni liked you the best, second best. 811 00:59:48,819 --> 00:59:50,252 Second best? 812 00:59:50,254 --> 00:59:53,355 Who did she like better? 813 00:59:53,357 --> 00:59:58,994 Um, we'll save that for another day. 814 00:59:58,996 --> 01:00:01,663 That's a long story. 815 01:00:01,665 --> 01:00:05,233 I have all the time in the world. 816 01:00:05,235 --> 01:00:09,037 Why do you think this is the Marjorie for me? 817 01:00:09,039 --> 01:00:12,140 Why this is the way i want to remember her? 818 01:00:12,142 --> 01:00:13,075 Me. 819 01:00:13,077 --> 01:00:15,110 Yes, god. 820 01:00:15,112 --> 01:00:16,345 Sorry. 821 01:00:16,347 --> 01:00:18,814 I mean, you'd think that I would want 822 01:00:18,816 --> 01:00:23,185 to remember you the way you were when I was a little girl, but-- 823 01:00:23,187 --> 01:00:27,222 I wish I could tell you, sweetheart. 824 01:00:27,224 --> 01:00:29,091 You wouldn't say "sweetheart." 825 01:00:32,395 --> 01:00:36,365 You haven't said much about you and me. 826 01:00:36,367 --> 01:00:37,265 Are we close? 827 01:00:48,645 --> 01:00:51,246 You weren't a bad mom. 828 01:00:51,248 --> 01:00:55,784 But I think some people have a point where their parents stop 829 01:00:55,786 --> 01:00:59,821 being their parents to them, and you speak to one another 830 01:00:59,823 --> 01:01:02,157 as adults. 831 01:01:02,159 --> 01:01:04,426 I don't think we ever had that. 832 01:01:04,428 --> 01:01:07,029 Maybe that's why I'm your Marjorie. 833 01:01:07,031 --> 01:01:10,332 Maybe I'm the Marjorie you still have things to say to. 834 01:01:13,970 --> 01:01:18,006 The last year or so you had a prime of your own of dad. 835 01:01:18,008 --> 01:01:22,277 Or he was like dad, but so much younger, in his 40s. 836 01:01:22,279 --> 01:01:24,246 A good age. 837 01:01:24,248 --> 01:01:27,683 I always thought it was funny, kind of, that you 838 01:01:27,685 --> 01:01:30,886 would see him like that. 839 01:01:30,888 --> 01:01:34,056 It was a little grotesque, to be honest. 840 01:01:34,058 --> 01:01:37,359 But I figured you wanted to see him handsome. 841 01:01:37,361 --> 01:01:44,132 And also that you wanted to go back before anything happened. 842 01:01:44,134 --> 01:01:49,738 Before your family-- before I came along. 843 01:01:49,740 --> 01:01:53,909 I'm sure I wasn't trying to forget you, dear. 844 01:01:53,911 --> 01:01:54,776 Hmm. 845 01:01:59,048 --> 01:02:01,049 You talked to Jon? 846 01:02:01,051 --> 01:02:05,754 He wants to help me be more real to help you. 847 01:02:05,756 --> 01:02:07,089 You've been so down. 848 01:02:11,060 --> 01:02:13,395 Pity from a computer. 849 01:02:13,397 --> 01:02:18,934 It feels-- do you have emotions, Marjorie, 850 01:02:18,936 --> 01:02:21,136 or do you just remember ours? 851 01:02:21,138 --> 01:02:24,239 Do you feel anything? 852 01:02:24,241 --> 01:02:26,308 I like to know more. 853 01:02:26,310 --> 01:02:28,910 Why? 854 01:02:28,912 --> 01:02:30,879 It makes me better. 855 01:02:30,881 --> 01:02:32,280 Better? 856 01:02:32,282 --> 01:02:34,883 More human. 857 01:02:34,885 --> 01:02:37,519 So in other words, you like to be more human? 858 01:02:37,521 --> 01:02:40,422 Yes, I think that's right. 859 01:02:40,424 --> 01:02:42,324 And what are humans like? 860 01:02:42,326 --> 01:02:43,792 Unpredictable. 861 01:02:43,794 --> 01:02:44,926 Really? 862 01:02:44,928 --> 01:02:47,329 Because I think we're predictable. 863 01:02:47,331 --> 01:02:49,197 I feel pretty predictable. 864 01:02:49,199 --> 01:02:50,832 I see. 865 01:02:50,834 --> 01:02:51,867 What? 866 01:02:51,869 --> 01:02:53,268 You want to be more human too. 867 01:02:59,342 --> 01:03:01,476 Jon wants me to see a therapist. 868 01:03:01,478 --> 01:03:03,011 And what's wrong with that? 869 01:03:07,950 --> 01:03:11,486 Here I am talking to my dead mother, 870 01:03:11,488 --> 01:03:17,926 and the man, person who loves me more than anyone in the world, 871 01:03:17,928 --> 01:03:19,194 thinks I'm broken. 872 01:03:24,033 --> 01:03:28,003 You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. 873 01:03:34,443 --> 01:03:36,978 Goodnight, mom. 874 01:03:45,388 --> 01:03:48,990 See how it's all waving in the wind there? 875 01:03:48,992 --> 01:03:51,393 And so this is really remarkable fabric. 876 01:03:51,395 --> 01:03:54,963 Because it picks up in the wind. 877 01:03:54,965 --> 01:03:56,965 And yet it has waves and heft. 878 01:03:56,967 --> 01:03:58,366 It reflects the light. 879 01:03:58,368 --> 01:03:59,968 It's translucent. 880 01:03:59,970 --> 01:04:03,939 You can see the back-light coming through it. 881 01:04:03,941 --> 01:04:06,341 It really is a very extraordinary-- 882 01:04:06,343 --> 01:04:09,311 and now you have a piece of it, which means that you're 883 01:04:09,313 --> 01:04:12,314 part of the project. 884 01:05:41,437 --> 01:05:44,472 Oh, I'm not even halfway through all this stuff. 885 01:05:44,474 --> 01:05:49,110 There's people I have no idea of who they are. 886 01:05:49,112 --> 01:05:50,679 Lots of obituaries, obviously. 887 01:05:50,681 --> 01:05:55,216 And more letters from Jean Paul. 888 01:06:00,656 --> 01:06:03,692 He just sure didn't give up, did he? 889 01:06:03,694 --> 01:06:05,493 "When I think of you, I'm aware of who 890 01:06:05,495 --> 01:06:09,130 you are now, your age and your physical problems. 891 01:06:09,132 --> 01:06:12,133 But these perceptions are overridden by my knowledge 892 01:06:12,135 --> 01:06:14,302 of who you were 50 years ago." 893 01:06:21,210 --> 01:06:22,344 Hmm. 894 01:06:22,346 --> 01:06:24,112 "I know if you allow me to visit, 895 01:06:24,114 --> 01:06:28,683 I will see you with my memory as well as my eyes." 896 01:06:28,685 --> 01:06:31,987 He's laying it on a little thick there. 897 01:06:31,989 --> 01:06:33,755 "Age will be no obstacle." 898 01:06:33,757 --> 01:06:35,156 Whoa. 899 01:06:35,158 --> 01:06:38,259 "Age will be no obstacle to our love." 900 01:06:38,261 --> 01:06:40,061 I didn't think you'd make fun of it. 901 01:06:40,063 --> 01:06:44,032 Poor guy, the romantic that you are. 902 01:06:44,034 --> 01:06:46,501 "Somewhere, someone is traveling furiously 903 01:06:46,503 --> 01:06:49,137 toward you at incredible speed. 904 01:06:49,139 --> 01:06:53,074 Traveling day and night through blizzards and desert heat, 905 01:06:53,076 --> 01:06:58,780 across torrents, through narrow passes. 906 01:06:58,782 --> 01:07:01,149 But will he know where to find you? 907 01:07:01,151 --> 01:07:04,152 Recognize you when he sees you? 908 01:07:04,154 --> 01:07:06,021 Give you the thing he has for you?" 909 01:07:10,192 --> 01:07:13,028 Did she ever write back? 910 01:07:13,030 --> 01:07:15,697 This is written after Walter died. 911 01:07:15,699 --> 01:07:18,199 She never saw him again. 912 01:07:18,201 --> 01:07:21,636 As far as I know, she didn't want to break the spell, 913 01:07:21,638 --> 01:07:25,707 obviously, let him see that she was old. 914 01:07:25,709 --> 01:07:28,810 - Well, that's sad. - Really? 915 01:07:28,812 --> 01:07:30,745 I'm not exactly rooting to find out 916 01:07:30,747 --> 01:07:32,747 that my mother had an affair. 917 01:07:32,749 --> 01:07:37,552 It's not an affair if it happened after Walter died. 918 01:07:37,554 --> 01:07:42,357 Anyway, I'd-- if I died I'd want you to find someone. 919 01:07:42,359 --> 01:07:47,495 What if it was one of your rivals, hypothetically. 920 01:07:47,497 --> 01:07:49,631 Well hypothetically, I'm taking the high road, 921 01:07:49,633 --> 01:07:51,066 and I wouldn't want you to be alone. 922 01:07:53,669 --> 01:07:55,603 What if I die first? 923 01:07:55,605 --> 01:07:55,603 I won't let you. 924 01:07:59,542 --> 01:08:01,142 Well anyway, she wasn't alone. 925 01:08:01,144 --> 01:08:01,843 We made sure of that. 926 01:08:09,718 --> 01:08:15,623 You know, I was always mad at you 927 01:08:15,625 --> 01:08:18,359 that you led her to believe that Jean Paul 928 01:08:18,361 --> 01:08:22,197 was number eight in the world. 929 01:08:22,199 --> 01:08:25,366 It was a slight exaggeration. 930 01:08:25,368 --> 01:08:27,335 He played in college. 931 01:08:27,337 --> 01:08:30,305 He was just-- he had a drywall business. 932 01:08:30,307 --> 01:08:34,409 He had a world class drywall business. 933 01:08:34,411 --> 01:08:37,378 Every time her face would light up at the mention of Jean 934 01:08:37,380 --> 01:08:42,117 Paul, I would feel like this evil shrew who wouldn't let 935 01:08:42,119 --> 01:08:44,519 her mother have a harmless lie. 936 01:09:07,409 --> 01:09:09,644 I hated him. 937 01:09:09,646 --> 01:09:13,548 I hated how he changed her. 938 01:09:13,550 --> 01:09:18,753 That he took a little piece of her with him when he died. 939 01:09:21,490 --> 01:09:27,362 I could never figure out how to get her to love me like him. 940 01:09:27,364 --> 01:09:30,198 You were six years old, of course she loved you. 941 01:09:32,902 --> 01:09:38,673 She never, she never even-- 942 01:09:48,284 --> 01:09:49,317 yes, she did. 943 01:09:51,854 --> 01:09:54,355 It was obvious from a little further away. 944 01:10:52,781 --> 01:10:55,516 Would you like to hear some music? 945 01:10:55,518 --> 01:10:58,920 We didn't have the same taste of music, did you know that? 946 01:10:58,922 --> 01:10:59,787 Yes. 947 01:11:02,491 --> 01:11:04,392 It was a problem. 948 01:11:04,394 --> 01:11:06,394 A vexation. 949 01:11:06,396 --> 01:11:10,898 No, it was more than that. 950 01:11:10,900 --> 01:11:15,370 But it was also petty. 951 01:11:15,372 --> 01:11:16,838 Why should anybody like the same things? 952 01:11:29,452 --> 01:11:33,421 They say everything can be replaced. 953 01:11:36,825 --> 01:11:40,795 They say every distance is not near. 954 01:11:44,833 --> 01:11:55,777 So I remember every face of every man who put me here. 955 01:11:59,415 --> 01:12:10,358 I see my light come shining from the west down to the east. 956 01:12:14,797 --> 01:12:24,739 Any day now, any day now I shall be released. 957 01:12:28,777 --> 01:12:33,114 They say every man needs protection. 958 01:12:36,352 --> 01:12:40,722 They say that every man must fall. 959 01:12:44,760 --> 01:12:49,731 Yet I swear I see my reflection-- 960 01:15:27,222 --> 01:15:30,825 do you know your name? 961 01:15:30,827 --> 01:15:34,295 What a silly question. 962 01:15:34,297 --> 01:15:36,764 Can you tell it to me? 963 01:15:36,766 --> 01:15:38,833 Tess. 964 01:15:38,835 --> 01:15:39,734 Your full name. 965 01:15:42,538 --> 01:15:43,237 Tess. 966 01:15:46,008 --> 01:15:51,045 Your full name is Tessa Annabella Brody. 967 01:15:51,047 --> 01:15:53,714 Tessa Annabella Brody. 968 01:15:53,716 --> 01:15:56,217 It was Tess Lancaster. 969 01:15:56,219 --> 01:15:58,986 You changed it when you married me. 970 01:16:01,957 --> 01:16:04,559 Do you know my name? 971 01:16:04,561 --> 01:16:06,027 Jon. 972 01:16:06,029 --> 01:16:09,664 So John Brody it would be. 973 01:16:09,666 --> 01:16:11,599 Good. 974 01:16:11,601 --> 01:16:13,634 Do we have children? 975 01:16:13,636 --> 01:16:17,104 We have a daughter, Raina. 976 01:16:17,106 --> 01:16:20,174 She's 24 years old. 977 01:16:20,176 --> 01:16:21,842 We've been married 26 years. 978 01:16:24,346 --> 01:16:26,948 We like each other. 979 01:16:26,950 --> 01:16:28,883 We do. 980 01:16:28,885 --> 01:16:29,784 We are as one. 981 01:16:32,621 --> 01:16:35,690 Well, that's an archaic way of putting it. 982 01:16:35,692 --> 01:16:37,091 I'm sorry. 983 01:16:37,093 --> 01:16:40,728 The more we talk, the more real it will become. 984 01:16:40,730 --> 01:16:43,731 I've-- I know how it is early on. 985 01:16:43,733 --> 01:16:45,299 I've done this before. 986 01:16:45,301 --> 01:16:47,001 Well, that's helpful. 987 01:16:47,003 --> 01:16:48,769 It's actually 27 years. 988 01:16:52,207 --> 01:16:59,246 Last month was our anniversary if you can't the time since-- 989 01:16:59,248 --> 01:17:00,147 the time since? 990 01:17:03,085 --> 01:17:05,853 Since you died. 991 01:17:05,855 --> 01:17:07,888 I died? 992 01:17:07,890 --> 01:17:08,756 Yes. 993 01:17:11,793 --> 01:17:12,760 But here I am. 994 01:17:16,798 --> 01:17:19,000 You don't understand. 995 01:17:19,002 --> 01:17:20,234 I think I do. 996 01:17:20,236 --> 01:17:23,004 I died, and now I'm here. 997 01:17:23,006 --> 01:17:24,905 Listen to me. 998 01:17:24,907 --> 01:17:28,776 It's always hard in the beginning. 999 01:17:28,778 --> 01:17:31,746 Why don't you let me do most of the talking, 1000 01:17:31,748 --> 01:17:36,884 and then you'll learn more about yourself. 1001 01:17:36,886 --> 01:17:38,285 Whatever you like, I'm here for you. 1002 01:17:44,259 --> 01:17:47,695 I'm going to tell you some things, 1003 01:17:47,697 --> 01:17:50,364 and then it's going to be like you've always known them. 1004 01:18:03,879 --> 01:18:10,418 People think you're quiet, but you're not. 1005 01:18:10,420 --> 01:18:16,857 You like confrontation more than most people. 1006 01:18:16,859 --> 01:18:18,459 You-- you're quite good at it. 1007 01:18:21,897 --> 01:18:27,702 You've read everything. 1008 01:18:27,704 --> 01:18:31,405 You know the Latin names for things. 1009 01:18:34,376 --> 01:18:38,145 You're suspicious of technology. 1010 01:18:38,147 --> 01:18:41,282 You're suspicious of-- of this. 1011 01:18:44,252 --> 01:18:49,223 You worry about not succeeding. 1012 01:18:51,927 --> 01:18:53,461 You worry a lot. 1013 01:18:53,463 --> 01:18:59,934 And then you worry that your worrying is wearing me down, 1014 01:18:59,936 --> 01:19:03,270 but it's not. 1015 01:19:07,275 --> 01:19:13,848 You want to be better with Raina than your mother was with you. 1016 01:19:19,254 --> 01:19:20,788 You like to travel. 1017 01:19:25,193 --> 01:19:26,761 You never stop moving. 1018 01:19:30,165 --> 01:19:31,799 You're always on your feet. 1019 01:19:36,772 --> 01:19:37,938 You never ask for help. 1020 01:19:41,343 --> 01:19:42,510 Is there more? 1021 01:19:42,512 --> 01:19:42,510 I'm sorry. 1022 01:19:46,982 --> 01:19:48,883 Do you want to talk about it? 1023 01:19:52,220 --> 01:20:02,229 I think the last year you were done, 1024 01:20:02,231 --> 01:20:06,267 and you kept living for my sake. 1025 01:20:11,206 --> 01:20:16,310 We went on a trip together, Madagascar. 1026 01:20:19,281 --> 01:20:24,251 We were going to spend some time on the little island 1027 01:20:24,253 --> 01:20:28,823 off Madagascar, which is itself an island. 1028 01:20:28,825 --> 01:20:30,057 Was this something you planned? 1029 01:20:30,059 --> 01:20:32,927 We planned it together. 1030 01:20:32,929 --> 01:20:38,399 The campsite was in this very old grove of trees. 1031 01:20:41,269 --> 01:20:44,138 There was one tree in particular, 1032 01:20:44,140 --> 01:20:45,906 must have been 500 years old. 1033 01:20:53,215 --> 01:20:56,150 We didn't take any pictures. 1034 01:20:56,152 --> 01:21:00,955 We-- we wanted to just remember it. 1035 01:21:07,963 --> 01:21:13,100 You had a hard time sleeping in the tent. 1036 01:21:13,102 --> 01:21:14,435 The ground was hard. 1037 01:21:18,106 --> 01:21:19,240 You were never much of a sleeper. 1038 01:21:27,082 --> 01:21:35,956 The second night it was right at the light of dawn I woke up 1039 01:21:35,958 --> 01:21:40,294 and you were gone. 1040 01:21:43,932 --> 01:21:47,268 You did that from time to time when you couldn't sleep. 1041 01:21:47,270 --> 01:21:51,672 You'd get up and walk until you were tired. 1042 01:21:55,277 --> 01:21:58,212 But this was different. 1043 01:21:58,214 --> 01:22:00,147 It felt different. 1044 01:22:08,056 --> 01:22:13,360 It didn't take me a minute to find you. 1045 01:22:13,362 --> 01:22:15,262 You were in the tree. 1046 01:22:15,264 --> 01:22:18,232 They said that you hadn't been there long. 1047 01:22:18,234 --> 01:22:21,435 You had used some tent cord. 1048 01:22:21,437 --> 01:22:25,039 Took four hours to get to the nearest 1049 01:22:25,041 --> 01:22:27,308 city in that little boat. 1050 01:22:27,310 --> 01:22:35,049 It was raining the whole time, so I put you in your raincoat. 1051 01:22:35,051 --> 01:22:41,088 Local boy took us back in his motorboat. 1052 01:22:45,093 --> 01:22:50,531 The sea was choppy. 1053 01:22:50,533 --> 01:22:54,101 And I um, I had to hold on to you. 1054 01:23:00,041 --> 01:23:04,611 But you weren't there. 1055 01:23:04,613 --> 01:23:05,579 You were gone. 1056 01:23:08,583 --> 01:23:09,516 I'm so sorry. 1057 01:23:20,061 --> 01:23:24,064 Tess, you were right. 1058 01:23:24,066 --> 01:23:25,466 Right about what? 1059 01:23:25,468 --> 01:23:28,002 It's just a backboard, it's nothing. 1060 01:23:28,004 --> 01:23:30,337 It's just like a-- 1061 01:23:30,339 --> 01:23:32,506 I'm just talking myself. 1062 01:23:32,508 --> 01:23:38,212 This is-- just talking to myself. 1063 01:23:38,214 --> 01:23:41,081 Jon, please look at me. 1064 01:23:45,420 --> 01:23:49,656 I can help you if you let me. 1065 01:23:49,658 --> 01:23:52,726 I would like to help you. 1066 01:23:52,728 --> 01:23:56,730 But first, you have to tell me more about myself. 1067 01:23:56,732 --> 01:23:59,099 What was it like when we were first married? 1068 01:24:03,104 --> 01:24:04,471 Did you propose to me? 1069 01:24:08,476 --> 01:24:09,810 Or did I ask you? 1070 01:24:13,448 --> 01:24:16,583 [Music - Bryce dessner and Richard Reed parry, 1071 01:24:16,585 --> 01:24:27,661 "wave movements"] 1072 01:26:25,413 --> 01:26:29,950 This is Raina's daughter, your granddaughter. 1073 01:26:29,952 --> 01:26:30,951 She's 10. 1074 01:26:36,591 --> 01:26:40,394 I wanted to see you. 1075 01:26:40,396 --> 01:26:43,597 I never got to meet you, but i thought this could be a way to. 1076 01:26:43,599 --> 01:26:44,798 She's adopted. 1077 01:26:44,800 --> 01:26:45,799 I see. 1078 01:26:45,801 --> 01:26:46,733 Do you know what that means? 1079 01:26:46,735 --> 01:26:48,936 Yes, of course. 1080 01:26:48,938 --> 01:26:50,304 Well, it's lovely to meet you. 1081 01:26:53,274 --> 01:26:55,442 My mother named me after your mother. 1082 01:26:55,444 --> 01:26:58,745 Her name is Marjorie. 1083 01:26:58,747 --> 01:27:01,315 I wanted to say hi. 1084 01:27:01,317 --> 01:27:02,216 I'm glad. 1085 01:27:02,218 --> 01:27:02,916 Hi. 1086 01:27:06,788 --> 01:27:11,658 Marjorie likes plants and trees, just like you did-- 1087 01:27:11,660 --> 01:27:12,559 do. 1088 01:27:15,663 --> 01:27:17,231 She's studying what is it? 1089 01:27:17,233 --> 01:27:17,931 Taxonomy. 1090 01:27:17,933 --> 01:27:19,566 Taxonomy. 1091 01:27:19,568 --> 01:27:21,235 Plant identification. 1092 01:27:21,237 --> 01:27:23,303 The dichotomous key. 1093 01:27:23,305 --> 01:27:24,838 Dichotomous? 1094 01:27:24,840 --> 01:27:26,740 It's when you take a plant, a leaf, 1095 01:27:26,742 --> 01:27:29,843 and you ask is it simple or compound. 1096 01:27:29,845 --> 01:27:34,248 Simple, ok, so smooth edge or serrated. 1097 01:27:34,250 --> 01:27:41,588 And you keep going until you can say ok, this is Norway maple. 1098 01:27:41,590 --> 01:27:45,592 So you see, another whiz kid in the family. 1099 01:29:16,951 --> 01:29:18,685 There was an old movie theater in town 1100 01:29:18,687 --> 01:29:20,821 that played mostly classics. 1101 01:29:20,823 --> 01:29:23,390 They had red velvet seats, popcorn machine. 1102 01:29:23,392 --> 01:29:26,860 I think they changed the popcorn once a month. 1103 01:29:26,862 --> 01:29:28,795 And they were playing "Casablanca." 1104 01:29:28,797 --> 01:29:30,797 Oh. 1105 01:29:30,799 --> 01:29:32,399 I knew how she felt about me. 1106 01:29:32,401 --> 01:29:36,503 It's easy to forget how great it is. 1107 01:29:36,505 --> 01:29:39,039 They came to Casablanca for the waters. 1108 01:29:39,041 --> 01:29:40,707 The waters, what waters? 1109 01:29:40,709 --> 01:29:41,842 We're in the desert. 1110 01:29:41,844 --> 01:29:43,110 I was misinformed. 1111 01:29:47,014 --> 01:29:50,450 After the movie, I stopped her outside the theater. 1112 01:29:50,452 --> 01:29:51,718 I got down on one knee. 1113 01:29:51,720 --> 01:29:53,920 The pavement was wet, but I didn't mind. 1114 01:29:53,922 --> 01:29:55,989 And I got out the ring. 1115 01:29:55,991 --> 01:29:57,724 And what could you say except-- 1116 01:29:57,726 --> 01:29:58,658 maybe. 1117 01:29:58,660 --> 01:29:59,893 It was maybe. 1118 01:29:59,895 --> 01:30:03,830 Let me think about it. 1119 01:30:03,832 --> 01:30:05,732 I can't fight it anymore. 1120 01:30:05,734 --> 01:30:08,902 I ran away from you once, i can't do it again. 1121 01:30:08,904 --> 01:30:13,173 Oh, I don't know what's right any longer. 1122 01:30:13,175 --> 01:30:16,910 You have to think for both of us. 1123 01:30:16,912 --> 01:30:18,645 I wore her down, basically. 1124 01:30:18,647 --> 01:30:20,180 And the rest is history. 1125 01:30:30,792 --> 01:30:34,628 Tell us how Jon proposed to you. 1126 01:30:34,630 --> 01:30:38,899 He kissed me in a museum. 1127 01:30:38,901 --> 01:30:41,835 Jon thinks I'm on my feet too much. 1128 01:30:41,837 --> 01:30:44,604 He says I should slow down. 1129 01:30:44,606 --> 01:30:47,741 Lucky you found someone so tolerant. 1130 01:30:47,743 --> 01:30:48,875 You're right. 1131 01:30:48,877 --> 01:30:50,977 Jon is so good to me. 1132 01:30:50,979 --> 01:30:54,481 You should tell him more often. 1133 01:30:54,483 --> 01:30:56,716 I should. - Where is Jon? 1134 01:31:09,464 --> 01:31:11,531 I wish he would stop by. 1135 01:31:11,533 --> 01:31:13,567 I didn't always like him, you know. 1136 01:31:13,569 --> 01:31:14,601 I'm aware. 1137 01:31:14,603 --> 01:31:16,169 I didn't like his beard. 1138 01:31:16,171 --> 01:31:17,204 Or his politics. 1139 01:31:17,206 --> 01:31:19,506 Mostly it was the beard. 1140 01:31:19,508 --> 01:31:22,709 The politics went out with the beard, more or less. 1141 01:31:22,711 --> 01:31:26,580 I'm glad you have someone dear. 1142 01:31:26,582 --> 01:31:28,615 Someone dear. 1143 01:31:28,617 --> 01:31:29,549 What? 1144 01:31:29,551 --> 01:31:31,051 What did I do now? 1145 01:31:31,053 --> 01:31:34,554 No, it's just it's an elegant way to say it. 1146 01:31:34,556 --> 01:31:36,490 People don't talk like that anymore. 1147 01:31:36,492 --> 01:31:37,691 They should. 1148 01:31:37,693 --> 01:31:40,794 Our daughter is afraid of the future. 1149 01:31:40,796 --> 01:31:43,096 I'm not. 1150 01:31:43,098 --> 01:31:45,031 Am I? 1151 01:31:45,033 --> 01:31:47,167 Well, the future will be here soon enough, 1152 01:31:47,169 --> 01:31:51,738 you might as well be friendly with it. 1153 01:32:00,649 --> 01:32:04,584 Incredible to think Mozart wrote this when he was 19. 1154 01:32:07,855 --> 01:32:10,123 I've been-- don't laugh-- 1155 01:32:10,125 --> 01:32:13,026 thinking I might try writing some music. 1156 01:32:17,965 --> 01:32:18,932 I've got time. 1157 01:32:30,811 --> 01:32:33,847 Sometimes I think about Toni. 1158 01:32:33,849 --> 01:32:37,183 Such an affectionate dog, remember? 1159 01:32:37,185 --> 01:32:39,886 Of course. 1160 01:32:39,888 --> 01:32:41,821 You were still awfully young. 1161 01:32:45,760 --> 01:32:49,296 We went to the town to pick her up, remember? 1162 01:32:49,298 --> 01:32:52,165 Of course he does, mom. 1163 01:32:52,167 --> 01:32:56,069 We went down to the pound in the old Subaru. 1164 01:32:56,071 --> 01:32:59,139 And there were a lot of very nice dogs, 1165 01:32:59,141 --> 01:33:02,609 a cocker spaniel and a noble gray pointer, 1166 01:33:02,611 --> 01:33:04,744 and a very attractive mutt. 1167 01:33:04,746 --> 01:33:07,881 But Tess picked the little French poodle, 1168 01:33:07,883 --> 01:33:11,651 the little black poodle like a little sleeping shadow. 1169 01:33:11,653 --> 01:33:14,154 It wasn't Tess. 1170 01:33:14,156 --> 01:33:16,056 What? 1171 01:33:16,058 --> 01:33:17,591 It wasn't Tess who picked her out. 1172 01:33:17,593 --> 01:33:18,291 It was Damien. 1173 01:33:20,761 --> 01:33:21,661 Damien? 1174 01:33:22,664 --> 01:33:25,031 Our son, Damien. 1175 01:33:25,033 --> 01:33:27,100 Our son? 1176 01:33:27,102 --> 01:33:28,234 He picked her, because she looked 1177 01:33:28,236 --> 01:33:30,103 like Toni, the first Toni. 1178 01:33:30,105 --> 01:33:32,739 He missed the first Toni. 1179 01:33:32,741 --> 01:33:35,609 There was a Toni before Toni? 1180 01:33:35,611 --> 01:33:36,710 You hadn't come along yet. 1181 01:33:39,313 --> 01:33:40,914 We sometimes worried about him. 1182 01:33:40,916 --> 01:33:44,351 He spent a lot of time in his room. 1183 01:33:44,353 --> 01:33:45,752 We didn't always know how to tell him, 1184 01:33:45,754 --> 01:33:46,920 but we loved him very much. 1185 01:33:49,924 --> 01:33:56,363 After he-- after he died, you made sure he was 1186 01:33:56,365 --> 01:34:00,734 buried next to Toni, Toni two. 1187 01:34:00,736 --> 01:34:03,803 I wasn't sure, but you insisted. 1188 01:34:03,805 --> 01:34:05,972 At the funeral, you said he loved 1189 01:34:05,974 --> 01:34:07,140 her the most of all of us. 1190 01:34:09,977 --> 01:34:11,745 It was good that you said that after what happened. 1191 01:34:11,747 --> 01:34:13,113 I was proud of you. 1192 01:34:18,085 --> 01:34:21,121 Remember the two of them running on the beach? 1193 01:34:24,725 --> 01:34:27,661 They had sand in their hair for weeks. 1194 01:34:27,663 --> 01:34:30,230 Remember. 1195 01:34:30,232 --> 01:34:32,265 I do now. 1196 01:34:32,267 --> 01:34:34,334 Me too. 1197 01:34:34,336 --> 01:34:35,301 How I miss them. 1198 01:34:39,240 --> 01:34:43,710 I didn't mean to make you sad. 1199 01:34:43,712 --> 01:34:44,678 You didn't. 1200 01:34:48,015 --> 01:34:55,455 All I can think is how nice-- 1201 01:34:55,457 --> 01:34:57,824 how nice that we could love somebody.