1 00:01:20,761 --> 00:01:23,179 - They're for you. - What am I gonna do with 'em? 2 00:01:23,222 --> 00:01:25,807 We thought you'd like to wear one today. 3 00:01:31,105 --> 00:01:32,438 Shit! 4 00:01:51,125 --> 00:01:54,877 OK, here comes your night to remember! 5 00:02:03,429 --> 00:02:05,638 Here she comes. 6 00:02:06,849 --> 00:02:10,309 She's almost got it. She's almost got it! 7 00:02:11,145 --> 00:02:12,311 She's got it! 8 00:02:13,856 --> 00:02:16,482 Come on, shit for brains! 9 00:03:13,082 --> 00:03:15,541 What do you mean, break Pee Wee's cherry? 10 00:03:15,542 --> 00:03:18,294 If you're not cherry, you don't get Wendy. 11 00:03:18,337 --> 00:03:23,508 I'm cherry. You could put me on top of a banana split, I'm so cherry. 12 00:03:51,036 --> 00:03:55,206 Make it mine. Make it mine. 13 00:03:55,207 --> 00:03:57,291 Please make it mine. 14 00:04:11,890 --> 00:04:14,100 I got laid! 15 00:04:16,353 --> 00:04:18,980 I got laid. I tore her up. 16 00:04:21,608 --> 00:04:23,818 She's ruined. 17 00:04:24,945 --> 00:04:25,945 She's ruined. 18 00:04:42,337 --> 00:04:44,547 Where's Stiffy? Stiffy! 19 00:04:48,051 --> 00:04:52,013 Maybe it doesn't work for a couple of days after you get laid. 20 00:04:52,764 --> 00:04:55,183 Up, you big husky! Up! 21 00:04:57,436 --> 00:04:59,520 Shit. 22 00:05:00,606 --> 00:05:04,066 Marilyn Monroe. 23 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:09,780 Jayne Mansfield. 24 00:05:11,950 --> 00:05:14,160 Shit! 25 00:05:51,573 --> 00:05:53,866 Got a bad rash, Mom. 26 00:05:53,867 --> 00:05:56,494 Hurts like heck. 27 00:05:57,704 --> 00:05:59,956 I don't think I'll ask. 28 00:06:30,487 --> 00:06:33,197 - Hey, Casanova! - Hey, stud, how does it feel? 29 00:06:33,198 --> 00:06:35,700 Listen, about this Shakespeare crap. 30 00:06:35,701 --> 00:06:37,910 - Shakespeare crap? - Stop! 31 00:06:38,829 --> 00:06:40,997 You're getting me in trouble with Mother. 32 00:06:40,998 --> 00:06:43,582 It's not my fault your Mom's a drama teacher. 33 00:06:43,583 --> 00:06:45,918 Look. just because you don't mind running around looking 34 00:06:45,961 --> 00:06:48,129 like a jerk, my mother thinks I shouldn't mind either. 35 00:06:48,130 --> 00:06:50,214 Shakespeare's good for you. It'll broaden your mind. 36 00:06:50,257 --> 00:06:51,882 Shakespeare's ass sucks canal water. 37 00:06:51,883 --> 00:06:54,635 Oh his ass sucks canal water. That's very profound. 38 00:06:54,636 --> 00:06:57,555 - He has a keen analytical mind. - And a way with words. 39 00:06:57,556 --> 00:07:01,434 Hey, Pee Wee. How's what feel? Getting laid. 40 00:07:01,435 --> 00:07:05,187 - Same as it always feels. - Oh, I don't believe it. Never again. 41 00:07:05,188 --> 00:07:08,441 What are you guys talking about? I got bodies laid all over South Florida. 42 00:07:08,442 --> 00:07:11,569 Morris, the last time you got any action was with your fist. You know, Rosie Palm. 43 00:07:11,570 --> 00:07:15,114 You guys are jealous because I ruined Wendy for everybody else. 44 00:07:15,115 --> 00:07:18,534 - Oh, no! - Now that she's had me, what's left? 45 00:07:18,535 --> 00:07:21,162 Yeah, well, that's not what she told me. 46 00:07:21,872 --> 00:07:25,541 - What did she tell you? - Ask her, Pee Wee. Here she comes. 47 00:07:26,710 --> 00:07:29,003 Yeah, I can hear her pantin' from here. 48 00:07:29,046 --> 00:07:31,339 Look man. when they've been had by Pee Wee Morris, 49 00:07:31,381 --> 00:07:33,674 they stay had. I mean they can't keep their hands off me. 50 00:07:33,717 --> 00:07:35,718 You guys better watch out, cause when she sees 51 00:07:35,761 --> 00:07:37,636 me your libel to get caught in the stampede. 52 00:07:37,637 --> 00:07:38,637 Watch this. 53 00:07:38,764 --> 00:07:40,973 Hi, boys. 54 00:07:42,309 --> 00:07:44,602 - She's in a frenzy. - She's rabid. 55 00:07:44,603 --> 00:07:46,437 She didn't see me, she didn't know I was here. 56 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:48,272 That's what she said about you last night. 57 00:07:48,273 --> 00:07:50,232 Oh, man. The girl's my slave. 58 00:07:50,233 --> 00:07:52,318 Wendy! 59 00:07:52,944 --> 00:07:55,029 Hey, Wendy! 60 00:07:55,030 --> 00:07:59,116 - Hey, baby. How's tricks? - You talkin' to me? 61 00:07:59,117 --> 00:08:01,952 Well, yeah. I'm talkin' to you. How you feelin'? 62 00:08:01,953 --> 00:08:06,207 To tell you the truth, I'm a little horny. I haven't had too much action lately. 63 00:08:06,208 --> 00:08:07,750 Is that so? 64 00:08:07,834 --> 00:08:12,546 In fact, if I don't get next to a man soon, I'm gonna be in real trouble. 65 00:08:13,256 --> 00:08:15,758 You guys are as funny as a rubber crutch. 66 00:08:16,093 --> 00:08:17,051 Thanks a lot, kid. 67 00:08:17,094 --> 00:08:19,845 Oh, Pee Wee, come on. It's just a little joke. 68 00:08:19,930 --> 00:08:23,265 They made me do it. They said they'd never let me see you again. 69 00:08:23,266 --> 00:08:26,644 If that happened, I'd just have to go into a convent. 70 00:08:26,686 --> 00:08:31,357 I mean, after you, where's a girl to go? It's all downhill from here. 71 00:08:31,358 --> 00:08:35,361 - That's what I was tryin' to tell 'em. - Well, you were right. 72 00:08:35,904 --> 00:08:39,365 - When? - How about lunchtime? 73 00:08:39,366 --> 00:08:41,575 - OK. - Gotta go. See you later. 74 00:08:41,576 --> 00:08:43,744 Bye. 75 00:08:47,290 --> 00:08:50,668 Look closer. That is the world's record shit-eatin' grin. 76 00:08:50,669 --> 00:08:53,587 - I don't know how you do it, Pee Wee. - I'm an artist. 77 00:08:53,630 --> 00:08:58,426 Michelangelo worked in stone. Van Gogh worked in oil. I work in pussy. 78 00:09:00,095 --> 00:09:03,347 - He works in pussy. - At least he's consistent. 79 00:09:03,348 --> 00:09:06,225 - Let's get him. - I think he needs some more. 80 00:09:06,852 --> 00:09:09,061 I think he does. 81 00:09:09,187 --> 00:09:11,397 Hey, Pee Wee! 82 00:09:12,107 --> 00:09:14,024 Look seriously, If you got all this pussy lyin' 83 00:09:14,067 --> 00:09:16,110 around, I think you should share with your buddies. 84 00:09:16,111 --> 00:09:19,280 - I mean we share with you. - Oh, yeah. Like Cherry Forever. 85 00:09:19,281 --> 00:09:22,241 A mere dalliance, my boy. Affectionately done life experience. 86 00:09:22,284 --> 00:09:24,910 Everybody oughta learn to run from big colored guys with machetes. 87 00:09:24,953 --> 00:09:26,871 Yeah, and as early in life as possible. 88 00:09:26,913 --> 00:09:30,166 Anyway, I think it's pretty awful if you don't fix us up with some of your stuff. 89 00:09:30,167 --> 00:09:33,377 - Sure, I'll fix you up. - Yeah? When? 90 00:09:33,378 --> 00:09:36,046 - Well, hell, any time. - How about tomorrow night? 91 00:09:36,047 --> 00:09:38,799 Tomorrow night? Well now wait a minute, it might take me 92 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:41,427 a couple of days to line up some first-class stuff. 93 00:09:41,428 --> 00:09:44,889 I gotta talk 'em into goin' for some other guys. I mean, you know they're pretty loyal. 94 00:09:44,890 --> 00:09:47,433 - Oh, yeah. I can imagine. - Of course they would be. 95 00:09:47,559 --> 00:09:48,767 Makes sense to me. 96 00:09:50,770 --> 00:09:52,855 Shit. 97 00:10:01,406 --> 00:10:03,616 Hi. 98 00:10:04,034 --> 00:10:06,452 - You still suspended? - Three more days. 99 00:10:06,453 --> 00:10:08,287 Shit. 100 00:10:16,338 --> 00:10:18,380 You're right. 5:10 on the nose. 101 00:10:18,381 --> 00:10:21,717 I told you. She goes to the bathroom 5:10 every day. 102 00:10:21,718 --> 00:10:25,471 - Every day? - Every day. 5:10 every day. 103 00:10:25,472 --> 00:10:27,765 You can set your watch by it. 104 00:10:27,891 --> 00:10:31,101 - She's German, you know. - Very interesting. 105 00:10:31,102 --> 00:10:35,856 Yeah? What's so interesting about when Miss Balbricker goes to the bathroom? 106 00:10:35,857 --> 00:10:38,943 A little experiment I got for zoology class. 107 00:10:38,944 --> 00:10:41,153 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 108 00:10:50,330 --> 00:10:53,541 - Hey, Stemrick! - What do you want, Pee Wee? 109 00:10:53,583 --> 00:10:55,584 Listen, You get a lot of action, just like me. 110 00:10:55,585 --> 00:10:56,544 Yeah, I get my share sure. 111 00:10:56,586 --> 00:10:59,046 Listen, I promised to set Turner and some of the guys up with some pussy ya know? 112 00:10:59,089 --> 00:11:01,131 They haven't been getting much lately. 113 00:11:01,424 --> 00:11:03,551 Except I don't wanna give 'em my choice stuff. 114 00:11:03,552 --> 00:11:05,511 I mean these guys are pretty inexperienced. 115 00:11:05,554 --> 00:11:07,012 Yeah, you don't wanna do that. 116 00:11:07,055 --> 00:11:10,015 Right, so anyway I was wondering if you knew a broad that's a real pushover. 117 00:11:10,016 --> 00:11:12,726 Somebody a real idiot could score with. 118 00:11:12,727 --> 00:11:15,563 Hell, man. That's easy. Wendy Williams. 119 00:11:18,775 --> 00:11:21,402 - Hey, Stemrick. - Yeah? 120 00:11:21,403 --> 00:11:24,113 Your sister sucks rhinoceros dicks. 121 00:11:27,450 --> 00:11:29,660 I wonder what he meant by that? 122 00:11:31,496 --> 00:11:35,040 Hold your splits, girls. Hold your splits. 123 00:11:35,041 --> 00:11:38,168 All right, let's get ready for the tongue exercise. Ready? 124 00:11:38,211 --> 00:11:41,839 All right. up! Out! Right! Left! Down! 125 00:11:42,048 --> 00:11:43,882 Up! Out! Right! Left! 126 00:11:44,092 --> 00:11:46,802 Hey, you guys what the hell did Pee Wee do to Stemrick? 127 00:11:46,803 --> 00:11:49,513 He's pissed as shit and lookin' for Pee Wee everywhere. 128 00:11:49,514 --> 00:11:54,143 I think he asked Big John if he could fix us up with his sister for a gang bang. 129 00:11:54,185 --> 00:11:59,064 Could be. He's desperate enough. Boys, I think we got his ass in a sling this time. 130 00:11:59,107 --> 00:12:01,066 Yeah, well. Serves him right. 131 00:12:04,029 --> 00:12:05,696 Hey, Billy? 132 00:12:05,697 --> 00:12:10,075 - What kinda role you playin'? - I'm playin' a couple of roles, actually. 133 00:12:10,076 --> 00:12:13,203 I'm doin' different scenes from different plays. 134 00:12:13,204 --> 00:12:16,248 - What roles? - Macbeth. 135 00:12:16,333 --> 00:12:18,959 - I heard of that. - Yeah. 136 00:12:20,629 --> 00:12:22,796 What's the other role? 137 00:12:24,132 --> 00:12:28,302 - Oberon. - Oberon? Who's he? 138 00:12:29,971 --> 00:12:32,806 He's sort of like a... forest ranger. 139 00:12:33,933 --> 00:12:36,644 A forest ranger? In Shakespeare? 140 00:12:36,645 --> 00:12:40,939 Yeah. He looks after the woods. You know. 141 00:12:40,940 --> 00:12:42,107 Looks after the woods? 142 00:12:42,108 --> 00:12:44,860 Yes. He sorta runs around in the woods a lot. 143 00:12:45,945 --> 00:12:49,406 - He sounds like a fairy to me. - He's not just a fairy. 144 00:12:50,659 --> 00:12:53,285 He's the king of the fairies. 145 00:12:53,370 --> 00:12:56,914 Oh, you mean like a really big fairy. 146 00:12:57,749 --> 00:13:00,459 You guys are really funny. 147 00:13:00,460 --> 00:13:02,211 Hysterical. 148 00:13:02,253 --> 00:13:05,673 Come on, guys. Let's get serious. This is art here. 149 00:13:05,674 --> 00:13:09,176 - I think it's really admirable, Billy. - I bet you do. 150 00:13:11,471 --> 00:13:14,098 So. 151 00:13:14,099 --> 00:13:16,684 So you're playin' a big fairy? 152 00:13:16,685 --> 00:13:18,894 Yeah. 153 00:13:18,895 --> 00:13:20,979 Well, that's good casting. 154 00:13:22,941 --> 00:13:25,150 Hey, Turner, suck my wand! 155 00:13:34,536 --> 00:13:37,663 - Frank. - What's up, Pee Wee? 156 00:13:41,251 --> 00:13:44,211 Listen, how would you like to get back at Turner for that Cherry Forever gag? 157 00:13:44,254 --> 00:13:46,088 Oh boy, you know I would. Why, whatcha got in mind? 158 00:13:46,131 --> 00:13:46,922 I'll tell ya later. 159 00:13:46,923 --> 00:13:49,216 First we gotta find a broad who they'll believe is ready for a gang bang. 160 00:13:49,259 --> 00:13:50,843 You know, a real push over. 161 00:13:50,844 --> 00:13:54,096 You mean someone who's like a door knob? Everybody takes a turn? 162 00:13:54,097 --> 00:13:57,474 - It's easy. Wendy Williams. - Never mind Wendy Williams. Somebody else. 163 00:13:57,475 --> 00:14:02,062 - Somebody that they don't know. - All right. Let me see. 164 00:14:02,397 --> 00:14:04,857 There's this girl in the band, Big Edna, is supposed 165 00:14:04,899 --> 00:14:07,025 to be hot. I heard, mind you. I wasn't there. 166 00:14:07,026 --> 00:14:10,988 I heard she was about to take on 20 guys on the way back home from the Daytona trip. 167 00:14:10,989 --> 00:14:14,158 Some of the fruitcakes in the band didn't know what to do. 168 00:14:14,367 --> 00:14:17,828 - It figures. Big Edna. - I mean big. Six foot. 169 00:14:17,829 --> 00:14:21,081 Listen, Pee Wee. Take this over to that lab monitor for me. 170 00:14:21,082 --> 00:14:23,292 - Oh, yeah. Sure. - Thanks. 171 00:14:44,731 --> 00:14:46,940 Gee, that's very funny, Morris. 172 00:15:24,646 --> 00:15:26,855 Pee Wee. 173 00:15:36,032 --> 00:15:38,200 Pee Wee, it's not that bad. 174 00:15:38,201 --> 00:15:40,619 Just tell those guys you polled all the members of your 175 00:15:40,662 --> 00:15:43,163 harem and they don't want to make it with a bunch ofjerks. 176 00:15:43,164 --> 00:15:46,291 - That's what you'd do, huh? - I don't have a harem. 177 00:15:46,376 --> 00:15:48,460 Oh, that's not what I hear. 178 00:15:51,214 --> 00:15:53,924 What'd you hear? 179 00:15:53,925 --> 00:15:58,303 I was asking who's the biggest pushover in school. You know what everybody said? 180 00:15:58,304 --> 00:16:00,389 - Wendy Williams? - Right. 181 00:16:01,349 --> 00:16:04,393 Geez Pee Wee, it can't be the first time you've heard that stuff. 182 00:16:04,394 --> 00:16:06,854 - Well that's different. - Why? 183 00:16:06,896 --> 00:16:08,981 Well before, I wanted it to be true. 184 00:16:10,942 --> 00:16:13,026 And I guess now I don't. 185 00:16:15,321 --> 00:16:18,323 Well, that's good. Because it's not true. 186 00:16:19,701 --> 00:16:21,910 - It isn't? - No. 187 00:16:23,580 --> 00:16:24,663 You don't believe me? 188 00:16:24,706 --> 00:16:27,916 You went on the bus with me, just like that. No questions asked. 189 00:16:27,917 --> 00:16:30,836 That's like the old joke "I wouldn't belong" 190 00:16:30,837 --> 00:16:33,797 to any club that would have me as a member. " 191 00:16:34,507 --> 00:16:36,800 Pee Wee, don't you know why I did that? 192 00:16:36,801 --> 00:16:39,011 Yeah. The bet with Tommy. 193 00:16:40,430 --> 00:16:42,639 I did it because I liked you 194 00:16:43,349 --> 00:16:46,476 and because I wanted to. 195 00:16:46,477 --> 00:16:48,061 You did? 196 00:16:48,229 --> 00:16:49,229 uh huh. 197 00:16:50,273 --> 00:16:54,234 - You do it every time you want to? - Yup. Every time I want to. 198 00:16:56,613 --> 00:16:59,740 It's just that I've only wanted to three times. 199 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:03,368 Really? 200 00:17:05,371 --> 00:17:07,456 Tommy - you knew that. 201 00:17:07,498 --> 00:17:10,083 Some guy you don't know at summer camp. 202 00:17:10,084 --> 00:17:12,294 And you. 203 00:17:14,547 --> 00:17:18,216 Well, why are all these assholes talking about you like that? 204 00:17:18,217 --> 00:17:20,677 Because most guys are so desperate, they'll lie 205 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:23,305 about anybody to make themselves look like studs. 206 00:17:23,306 --> 00:17:27,684 Didn't you ever brag about some girl you never really made it with? 207 00:17:28,186 --> 00:17:31,229 Well, I can't believe they'd make all that up. 208 00:17:31,230 --> 00:17:33,440 You know how I got my reputation? 209 00:17:34,150 --> 00:17:36,401 In the eighth grade. 210 00:17:36,402 --> 00:17:38,654 I didn't know anything. I mean... 211 00:17:40,949 --> 00:17:44,201 These guys tried to get me to go skinny-dipping. 212 00:17:44,702 --> 00:17:48,664 I didn't want to, but I didn't care if they did so I watched. 213 00:17:49,624 --> 00:17:51,833 I thought it was funny, you know. 214 00:17:51,834 --> 00:17:54,002 Flopping around. 215 00:17:54,796 --> 00:17:56,964 Oh, God. 216 00:17:56,965 --> 00:18:00,217 The next day in school, I was a slut. 217 00:18:00,635 --> 00:18:03,136 I mean, the original mattress-back. 218 00:18:07,183 --> 00:18:09,393 I got used to it. 219 00:18:10,436 --> 00:18:12,646 What do they know about me? 220 00:18:13,481 --> 00:18:16,400 I do what I want. I don't care what anybody thinks. 221 00:18:17,944 --> 00:18:20,779 Well... I mean, don't you care what I think? 222 00:18:22,448 --> 00:18:23,448 uh huh. 223 00:18:25,159 --> 00:18:27,369 I care. 224 00:18:28,997 --> 00:18:31,289 But I can't tell you what to think. 225 00:18:33,459 --> 00:18:35,711 I can only tell you the truth. 226 00:18:40,758 --> 00:18:43,260 Oh, boy. 227 00:18:43,261 --> 00:18:46,096 Well? We gonna be buddies? 228 00:18:46,806 --> 00:18:49,016 Well first, I'm gonna have to get into shape. 229 00:18:49,017 --> 00:18:51,476 Yeah, why? 230 00:18:51,519 --> 00:18:54,563 Why? Cos I'm gonna kick the shit out of these guys! 231 00:18:54,605 --> 00:18:57,524 I don't want 'em talkin' about my girl like that. 232 00:19:04,032 --> 00:19:06,491 Come on, kids! Let's go. 233 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:10,078 - Shit. - That's your cue. 234 00:19:11,039 --> 00:19:14,708 By the way, we got somethin' cookin' for your Cherry Forever revenge. 235 00:19:14,709 --> 00:19:17,210 Who's "we" and how did you know about that? 236 00:19:17,211 --> 00:19:19,629 "We" is Brian and me. And what do you mean, how 237 00:19:19,630 --> 00:19:22,007 do I know? You don't think I look after my guy. 238 00:19:22,008 --> 00:19:25,302 - We even know where to get the girl. - Don't worry. I got a lead. 239 00:19:25,303 --> 00:19:26,261 Now what's the plan? 240 00:19:26,304 --> 00:19:29,222 We're still workin' on it. I'll tell you everything tonight. 241 00:19:47,617 --> 00:19:49,826 Big Edna? 242 00:19:56,918 --> 00:19:59,586 - Hi. I'm Pee Wee Morris. - I know. 243 00:19:59,629 --> 00:20:02,005 You do? Ah, well, that figures. 244 00:20:02,006 --> 00:20:04,174 Listen Edna, I heard you had a little problem 245 00:20:04,217 --> 00:20:06,218 with the boys in the band the other night. 246 00:20:06,344 --> 00:20:07,344 Huh? 247 00:20:07,345 --> 00:20:11,723 Edna, I have some guys that won't let you down. You know what I mean? 248 00:20:11,724 --> 00:20:12,724 No. 249 00:20:12,725 --> 00:20:16,937 Come on, Edna. A big girl like you takes a lot of men to keep you satisfied, right? 250 00:20:16,979 --> 00:20:21,733 - What are you talking about? - Come on, you know what I'm talkin' about! 251 00:20:21,818 --> 00:20:24,736 - I don't. - Edna, come here. 252 00:20:25,363 --> 00:20:27,864 - I wonder what he's up to. - Who knows. 253 00:20:30,701 --> 00:20:33,495 - What do you think? - No way. 254 00:20:33,496 --> 00:20:35,997 Gang bang? 255 00:20:42,755 --> 00:20:45,382 Dirty, rotten, filthy little creep! 256 00:20:46,926 --> 00:20:50,679 - Are you OK? - I take it that was a no. 257 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:53,140 - She's thinking it over. - You're funny. 258 00:20:53,141 --> 00:20:56,685 Look, don't worry about it. We'll switch to plan B. 259 00:20:56,686 --> 00:20:58,854 Plan B? I don't even know what plan A was. 260 00:20:58,896 --> 00:21:00,230 Here's what we'll do. 261 00:21:00,606 --> 00:21:02,816 Yet I will try the last. 262 00:21:03,651 --> 00:21:05,318 Lay on, Macduff, 263 00:21:05,403 --> 00:21:09,906 And damn'd be he that first cries "Hold, enough!" 264 00:21:10,950 --> 00:21:13,034 No, not you. 265 00:21:13,536 --> 00:21:17,080 Shakespeare. The... play. 266 00:21:23,004 --> 00:21:26,339 - God I'm glad I don't have to eat these. - Hey ah Wendy, you seen Billy around? 267 00:21:26,340 --> 00:21:28,884 Don't bug him you guys, he's studying his role. 268 00:21:28,885 --> 00:21:30,886 Yeah he's studying his role, you ignorant oafs. 269 00:21:30,887 --> 00:21:32,637 Right, I got a role he can study. 270 00:21:32,638 --> 00:21:35,265 He's not ready for a role that big, yet Meat. 271 00:21:36,267 --> 00:21:37,934 Hey, Mickey! 272 00:21:37,935 --> 00:21:39,603 Suckers. 273 00:21:39,729 --> 00:21:41,938 Hey, McCarty. 274 00:21:42,523 --> 00:21:44,608 Can we have your autograph? 275 00:21:44,609 --> 00:21:49,321 Look, you guys, when I become a big star and I'm rubbing elbows with Ava Gardner, 276 00:21:49,322 --> 00:21:52,073 you're the first people I intend to forget. 277 00:21:52,074 --> 00:21:53,450 That's Hollywood. 278 00:21:53,451 --> 00:21:56,912 "Gentle Puck, come hither. " What the fuck's a puck? 279 00:21:56,913 --> 00:22:02,500 It's a character. It's a friend of Oberon's. He's like a... a little forest ranger. 280 00:22:03,085 --> 00:22:05,962 - Puck? A little forest ranger? - Yes. 281 00:22:05,963 --> 00:22:08,465 - Well, who plays that part? - Pee Wee. 282 00:22:08,466 --> 00:22:11,426 Oh. So Pee Wee plays the little fairy and you 283 00:22:11,469 --> 00:22:14,221 play a big fairy. That's a lot of fairies. 284 00:22:14,222 --> 00:22:17,224 You guys get to run around the woods together? 285 00:22:17,225 --> 00:22:22,145 You guys must be really proud of your ignorance cos you show it off so much. 286 00:22:32,365 --> 00:22:34,783 - John Henry. - Yes, I know. 287 00:22:36,035 --> 00:22:38,954 Tell Mrs. Morris I'll take the part. 288 00:22:38,955 --> 00:22:41,873 I will. I'm glad. 289 00:22:46,963 --> 00:22:50,590 - Is he in the show? - Well, he is now. 290 00:22:50,591 --> 00:22:54,552 - He's a Seminole. - Observant, Tim. Real observant. 291 00:22:54,553 --> 00:22:59,266 No, no, no. I just meant that... some people might not care for that. 292 00:23:00,101 --> 00:23:02,727 - Well, it's all right with me. - Me too. 293 00:23:04,605 --> 00:23:07,023 - So we're gonna see the broad tonight? - Tonight, right. 294 00:23:07,024 --> 00:23:08,858 Do you really think they're gonna go for it? 295 00:23:08,901 --> 00:23:10,151 Long as you keep your cool. 296 00:23:10,152 --> 00:23:12,570 Lookjust think of it as an acting lesson. 297 00:23:12,613 --> 00:23:13,613 Cool. Right. 298 00:23:16,617 --> 00:23:17,617 Hey, the door. Right. 299 00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:19,869 Don't forget Tomorrow night at 11 o'clock. 300 00:23:19,912 --> 00:23:20,453 Right. 301 00:23:20,538 --> 00:23:22,831 It's gonna work, right? Graveyard Gloria, right? 302 00:23:22,832 --> 00:23:23,581 Right. 303 00:23:23,582 --> 00:23:25,667 - Cool, right? - Right. 304 00:23:28,671 --> 00:23:30,922 You could be the biggest fairy of 'em all. 305 00:23:30,965 --> 00:23:31,923 Eat my shorts. 306 00:23:31,924 --> 00:23:34,926 Hey, you guys, how they hangin'? 307 00:23:34,927 --> 00:23:37,595 Oh will you cut it out, for Christ's sake! I come here with an offer 308 00:23:37,596 --> 00:23:40,307 of a lifetime and you act like children. It's embarrassing. 309 00:23:40,308 --> 00:23:44,561 - We're sorry Pee Wee. What's your offer? - Forget it. Billy, let's go. 310 00:23:44,562 --> 00:23:47,522 You wanna sample the greatest ass in five counties? Just nod if you're speechless. 311 00:23:47,565 --> 00:23:48,898 What piece of ass is this? 312 00:23:48,941 --> 00:23:51,568 Get this. By day, a mild-mannered librarian. 313 00:23:51,610 --> 00:23:54,029 She talks in a whisper. Looks like a buttoned-up icebox. 314 00:23:54,030 --> 00:23:56,489 But you get her within breathing distance of a cemetery and you better 315 00:23:56,490 --> 00:23:58,658 hold on to your dicks, because she'll ride you into the ground! 316 00:23:58,659 --> 00:24:02,329 I'm not kiddin'. They call her "Graveyard Gloria, the fuck of death. " 317 00:24:02,330 --> 00:24:06,499 I got it all lined up! You wanna act like men for a change and take a shot at this? 318 00:24:06,500 --> 00:24:08,710 I don't know. What do you say? Do you wanna give her a shot? 319 00:24:08,753 --> 00:24:11,212 I'd give her a shot, but it might spoil it for the rest of you. 320 00:24:11,213 --> 00:24:13,965 Well Hell why not? I mean if Pee Wee found her she's gotta have some curiosity value. 321 00:24:13,966 --> 00:24:16,092 I got it all worked out for you all right. 322 00:24:16,093 --> 00:24:19,763 - How about you, McCarty? - Oh, I just love graveyards. 323 00:24:19,764 --> 00:24:22,390 - But can't we rehearse first? - Sure, Billy. 324 00:24:23,726 --> 00:24:25,810 See you, Rock. 325 00:24:25,811 --> 00:24:29,064 - Graveyard Gloria, my ass. - I wonder where he dug her up? 326 00:24:29,065 --> 00:24:31,816 Hey that's funny. I mean it's not as funny as your face, but it's funny. 327 00:24:31,817 --> 00:24:34,361 The little booger's up to something sure as shit. 328 00:24:34,403 --> 00:24:36,821 Yeah we're gonna have to keep start keeping an eye on him. 329 00:24:36,822 --> 00:24:39,991 How we gonna do that? He's in rehearsal all day. 330 00:24:41,243 --> 00:24:44,287 Well, Anthony, you always wanted to be an actor. 331 00:24:44,288 --> 00:24:46,706 Me, an actor? No fuckin' way. 332 00:24:46,707 --> 00:24:50,585 You gotta be kiddin'. It'll never happen. Count on it. 333 00:25:04,683 --> 00:25:06,976 Thanks for coming by, Anthony. 334 00:25:07,019 --> 00:25:10,480 You know I just figured I'd... kinda like, ask you a question. 335 00:25:10,481 --> 00:25:13,483 I mean, is this guy, like... Is he, like... 336 00:25:18,072 --> 00:25:19,739 No. 337 00:25:19,824 --> 00:25:22,867 Well how come he has to wear, you know, clothes like this? 338 00:25:23,369 --> 00:25:25,578 Well, he's pretending to be a girl. 339 00:25:26,831 --> 00:25:30,083 Just pretending? OK. 340 00:25:30,918 --> 00:25:33,753 Will you read Thisbe's speech on page 120? 341 00:25:33,754 --> 00:25:35,463 Yeah. 342 00:25:35,881 --> 00:25:40,802 "O wall, full often hast thou heard my moans. " 343 00:25:42,346 --> 00:25:44,848 That's pretty good, huh? 344 00:25:44,849 --> 00:25:48,101 Anthony, can you get your voice a little higher? 345 00:25:48,227 --> 00:25:49,227 Huh? 346 00:25:49,228 --> 00:25:51,438 Well, he's pretending to be a girl. 347 00:25:55,609 --> 00:25:58,445 "My cherry lips... " 348 00:26:00,281 --> 00:26:03,616 A little higher, Anthony. Come on. 349 00:26:05,077 --> 00:26:08,538 "And I like Helen, till the Fates me... " 350 00:26:08,873 --> 00:26:11,040 This isn't gonna work. 351 00:26:11,041 --> 00:26:14,127 I just got a naturally deep voice. You know. 352 00:26:14,170 --> 00:26:17,672 I just naturally got a man's voice. 353 00:26:54,835 --> 00:26:56,961 Really neat disguise. 354 00:26:57,004 --> 00:26:59,088 Yeah! 355 00:27:00,549 --> 00:27:03,176 I think I'm going to regret this. 356 00:27:49,014 --> 00:27:51,099 Shit. 357 00:27:52,685 --> 00:27:55,728 Graveyard Gloria huh? Why not? Sounds like fun. 358 00:27:55,729 --> 00:27:58,022 - You got a deal. - Gee that's great. 359 00:27:58,315 --> 00:28:00,275 Rex, shut up! 360 00:28:00,317 --> 00:28:02,527 Gosh, he's so possessive. 361 00:28:03,237 --> 00:28:07,198 - OK, Friday night. Good night Gloria. - See you later, boys. 362 00:28:07,199 --> 00:28:10,410 - They're gonna shit. Definitely. - Definitely. 363 00:28:10,411 --> 00:28:12,620 Oh, definitely. 364 00:28:26,468 --> 00:28:28,886 - What do you want? - Is Gloria in? 365 00:28:29,805 --> 00:28:32,348 - Who wants her? - We wanna talk some business. 366 00:28:32,349 --> 00:28:36,686 - She ain't interested. - We brought along a few friends of ours. 367 00:28:37,521 --> 00:28:39,731 Oh, well... 368 00:28:40,232 --> 00:28:42,942 Any friend of yours is a friend of ours. 369 00:28:47,239 --> 00:28:51,284 That is great. Great. Nice, nice. 370 00:28:51,285 --> 00:28:53,494 Very good. Next! 371 00:29:01,337 --> 00:29:05,256 Lovely! Oh, just wonderful. 372 00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:09,010 Next! 373 00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:13,056 All right, who's supposed to be next? Let's move it. 374 00:29:14,725 --> 00:29:18,394 Come on, folks. Let's get with it, please. 375 00:29:21,315 --> 00:29:23,608 All right, who's supposed to be next? 376 00:29:24,026 --> 00:29:28,196 - It's Pee Wee. - Oh. I see. 377 00:29:28,197 --> 00:29:29,238 Pee Wee! 378 00:29:30,699 --> 00:29:35,620 - I'm not comin' out. - Pee Wee, get out here right now. 379 00:29:35,621 --> 00:29:38,748 All we need is a brief look at the costume. 380 00:29:38,749 --> 00:29:40,541 No way. 381 00:29:40,626 --> 00:29:43,336 Pee Wee, you get out here right now or you're 382 00:29:43,379 --> 00:29:46,005 sitting out the rest of the baseball season. 383 00:29:46,006 --> 00:29:49,050 - Aww Mom, I can't. Everybody'll laugh. - Nobody will laugh. 384 00:29:49,051 --> 00:29:51,761 - Yes, they will. - No, they won't. 385 00:29:51,762 --> 00:29:55,723 - Will anybody laugh? - No. 386 00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:03,898 Get the curtain. 387 00:30:11,782 --> 00:30:14,283 It looks great, Pee Wee. 388 00:30:14,910 --> 00:30:17,829 - Nice horn, buddy. - Love your dress, Meat. 389 00:30:19,164 --> 00:30:20,456 Nice tail. 390 00:30:20,791 --> 00:30:25,253 Excellent, costumers. Very good. Very creative. 391 00:30:25,754 --> 00:30:29,924 - All right, let's get on with it. - You're not gettin' on with anything. 392 00:30:29,925 --> 00:30:34,512 - I beg your pardon? - Rise, flock, and follow. 393 00:30:34,513 --> 00:30:38,266 Excuse me. This is a closed rehearsal. We don't open for... 394 00:30:38,267 --> 00:30:41,394 This show is never gonna open. 395 00:30:41,395 --> 00:30:44,105 Miss Balbricker. To what do I owe this pleasure? 396 00:30:44,106 --> 00:30:46,774 Oh, it's no pleasure, I assure you, Morris. 397 00:30:46,817 --> 00:30:49,527 I'm here to lend support to Reverend Flavel. 398 00:30:49,528 --> 00:30:54,866 And I'm the spiritual leader of the Righteous Flock, Reverend Bubba Flavel. 399 00:30:54,867 --> 00:30:57,785 Bubble Flavour? 400 00:30:57,786 --> 00:31:01,956 Bubba Flavel, Mrs. Morris. Reverend Bubba Flavel. 401 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:07,044 - It is Mrs. Morris, is it not? - The last time I looked. 402 00:31:07,045 --> 00:31:12,550 Would you put cow puckeys in these children's mouths, Mrs. Morris? 403 00:31:12,551 --> 00:31:14,761 What? 404 00:31:14,845 --> 00:31:17,680 Or dog oogies? 405 00:31:19,349 --> 00:31:22,059 Or Pelican snot? 406 00:31:22,686 --> 00:31:25,813 Excuse me, I am going to be ill. 407 00:31:26,023 --> 00:31:29,066 This is Shakespeare. It is not filth. 408 00:31:29,151 --> 00:31:35,823 Oh, yes. I know, that's the official position of the academic community. However... 409 00:31:35,824 --> 00:31:39,076 Exactly what are you trying to tell us, Reverend Flavel? 410 00:31:39,161 --> 00:31:44,791 We're closing you down, Morris. Closing you down. 411 00:31:44,833 --> 00:31:47,502 - On whose authority? - God's. 412 00:31:47,503 --> 00:31:51,255 - The Righteous Flock's. - So sayeth the shepherd. 413 00:31:51,256 --> 00:31:53,466 So sayeth the flock. 414 00:31:54,176 --> 00:31:57,428 If that's not good enough, we'll take it to the the principal's office. 415 00:31:57,429 --> 00:31:59,889 Then let's do that, Miss Balbricker. 416 00:32:00,432 --> 00:32:03,768 Let's just do that. Right now. 417 00:32:07,731 --> 00:32:10,149 Mr. Carter, there's a mob here to see you. 418 00:32:10,150 --> 00:32:15,488 - Do they have an appointment, Betty? - God always has an appointment! 419 00:32:25,916 --> 00:32:28,125 Come on, Mr. Carter. 420 00:32:32,631 --> 00:32:35,883 Well, Reverend. What is the problem now? 421 00:32:35,884 --> 00:32:39,011 What is the problem? 422 00:32:39,012 --> 00:32:41,597 The problem is fornication. 423 00:32:41,598 --> 00:32:44,559 - So sayeth the shepherd. - So sayeth the flock. 424 00:32:44,601 --> 00:32:48,813 Sister Balbricker. Open your book. You play the woman's part. 425 00:32:49,982 --> 00:32:53,943 Shakespeare is trash! I'll give proof. Listen to this! 426 00:32:53,944 --> 00:32:57,488 "If I be waspish, best beware of my sting!" 427 00:32:57,489 --> 00:33:01,242 "Who knows not where a wasp does wear his sting?" 428 00:33:01,243 --> 00:33:04,161 Get this: "In his tail. " 429 00:33:04,162 --> 00:33:07,623 - "In his tongue. " - "Whose tongue?" 430 00:33:07,624 --> 00:33:12,086 "Yours, if you talk of tails: And so, farewell. " 431 00:33:12,254 --> 00:33:16,132 "What? With my tongue in your tail?" 432 00:33:16,133 --> 00:33:19,051 Now, there's no mistaking his intention. No, sir. 433 00:33:19,052 --> 00:33:23,306 He intends to put his tongue in a woman's tail. 434 00:33:23,307 --> 00:33:26,434 What kind of man would do a thing like that? 435 00:33:28,353 --> 00:33:31,689 Reverend, here is the Bible. Now... Now, listen. 436 00:33:31,773 --> 00:33:33,983 Just a moment. Listen. 437 00:33:34,067 --> 00:33:38,988 "And my beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door 438 00:33:39,072 --> 00:33:41,991 and my bowels were moved for him. " 439 00:33:41,992 --> 00:33:43,951 Song of Solomon. Chapter 5. 440 00:33:43,994 --> 00:33:46,370 The devil can cite scripture for his purpose. 441 00:33:46,413 --> 00:33:48,998 He can cite Shakespeare too, Reverend Flavel. 442 00:33:48,999 --> 00:33:53,127 I have read Solomon and Job and Isaiah 443 00:33:53,128 --> 00:33:57,840 and Jeremiah and Malachi and Matthew and Mark and Luke and John. 444 00:33:57,841 --> 00:34:00,760 - And nowhere... - He forgot Sneezy and Doc. 445 00:34:00,761 --> 00:34:03,346 Nowhere do I find the likes of this. 446 00:34:03,972 --> 00:34:07,516 Midsummer Night's Dream. Act V. Scene I. 447 00:34:07,559 --> 00:34:11,646 "The iron tongue of midnight hath told twelve; 448 00:34:11,730 --> 00:34:18,194 Lovers, to bed; 'tis almost fairy time. " 449 00:34:18,487 --> 00:34:21,614 Good God! It's enough to make a real man sick. 450 00:34:21,615 --> 00:34:24,116 - So sayeth the shepherd. - So sayeth the flock. 451 00:34:24,117 --> 00:34:27,036 "And Abraham was 90 years old and nine 452 00:34:27,037 --> 00:34:34,251 "when he was circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin. " Genesis 17. 453 00:34:37,464 --> 00:34:40,424 A Midsummer Night's Dream. Act IV, scene I. 454 00:34:40,467 --> 00:34:42,927 "I could munch your good dry oats. " 455 00:34:42,928 --> 00:34:46,305 - So sayeth the shepherd. - So sayeth the flock. 456 00:34:46,306 --> 00:34:51,018 "And thy navel is like a rounded goblet which wanteth not liquor. " 457 00:34:51,019 --> 00:34:53,104 Solomon 7, verse 2. 458 00:34:55,107 --> 00:34:58,234 And King Lear. Act IV. Scene VI. 459 00:34:58,235 --> 00:35:00,861 "Let copulation thrive!" 460 00:35:01,029 --> 00:35:05,116 - So sayeth the shepherd. - So sayeth the flock. 461 00:35:05,117 --> 00:35:08,035 "And when the Lord saw Leah was hated, 462 00:35:08,036 --> 00:35:10,204 he opened up her womb. " 463 00:35:10,205 --> 00:35:12,456 Genesis 24:31. 464 00:35:16,461 --> 00:35:19,672 Vile! Blasphemous! 465 00:35:19,673 --> 00:35:23,634 Intolerable! Shakespeare must go! 466 00:35:23,635 --> 00:35:28,222 - So sayeth the shepherd. - So sayeth the flock. 467 00:35:29,182 --> 00:35:31,392 God damn you, you... 468 00:35:35,230 --> 00:35:37,523 What sayeth you, Mr. Carter? 469 00:35:40,027 --> 00:35:42,653 Get the flock outta here! 470 00:35:52,122 --> 00:35:54,498 All right, Mr.. Carter! 471 00:36:02,632 --> 00:36:04,842 This means war. 472 00:36:04,843 --> 00:36:06,844 Holy war! 473 00:36:07,971 --> 00:36:10,264 Flock, follow! 474 00:36:17,355 --> 00:36:18,522 Thank you. 475 00:36:25,197 --> 00:36:27,782 - Will you hurry up? - Brian, who do I look like? 476 00:36:27,783 --> 00:36:30,493 One last time: Boris Karloff as the Mummy. 477 00:36:30,494 --> 00:36:34,872 - Dead right. Dead ringer, huh? - One more dead joke, you're dead. 478 00:36:36,249 --> 00:36:39,293 Excuse me, girls. Y'all know a good dermatologist? 479 00:36:41,963 --> 00:36:43,756 All right let's go over it one more time. 480 00:36:43,757 --> 00:36:46,092 We pick 'em up. You introduce me. Blah, blah, blah. 481 00:36:46,093 --> 00:36:49,386 "Miss Gloria Tight ass, little Miss Prim and Proper. " 482 00:36:49,387 --> 00:36:51,555 "Good evening, boys. It's swell to meet you. " 483 00:36:51,598 --> 00:36:54,308 I figure she whispers a lot, being from a library and all. 484 00:36:54,309 --> 00:36:57,895 Right. Good, but talk about books or something. You know, keep 'em off guard. 485 00:36:58,021 --> 00:36:59,897 Oh, yeah. Books. 486 00:36:59,898 --> 00:37:02,233 All right then we take the detour. You ask me why. 487 00:37:02,234 --> 00:37:04,276 The minute you hear the word "graveyard"... 488 00:37:04,319 --> 00:37:04,985 I get hot. 489 00:37:05,028 --> 00:37:08,906 But I mean really hot. Be convincing, because these guy's will be lookin' for a trap. 490 00:37:08,907 --> 00:37:11,826 I mean you even gotta convince me. And I've been around. 491 00:37:11,868 --> 00:37:13,577 Lover, I will be convincing. 492 00:37:13,578 --> 00:37:18,707 Oh, I want these guys so horny, they'll do anything for it. Anything. 493 00:37:34,516 --> 00:37:37,351 I don't believe you, what is the matter with you? 494 00:37:37,394 --> 00:37:39,562 It's the booze, man. It's deadly. 495 00:37:42,023 --> 00:37:44,942 Wait a minute. I almost forgot my bottle. 496 00:37:44,943 --> 00:37:47,153 That would be a grave error. 497 00:37:49,531 --> 00:37:52,992 So, Gloria, have you read any good books lately? 498 00:37:52,993 --> 00:37:55,327 I read My Gun is Quick. Do you know that one? 499 00:37:55,328 --> 00:37:56,620 Know it? He lives it. 500 00:37:56,621 --> 00:38:00,207 - Really? Are you a private eye? - No, he's a private dick. 501 00:38:00,250 --> 00:38:03,544 - But not by choice. - Turner, how about gobblin' myjoint? 502 00:38:03,545 --> 00:38:05,045 No, I never read that one, Meat. 503 00:38:05,088 --> 00:38:07,923 Me neither. I don't think we have it in the library yet. 504 00:38:07,924 --> 00:38:10,384 So Gloria, how come we've never seen you at the library? 505 00:38:10,385 --> 00:38:13,721 - She works odd hours. - Midnight till three. 506 00:38:13,722 --> 00:38:16,056 Ooh that reminds me. I promised Mother I'd stop by 507 00:38:16,099 --> 00:38:18,309 the cemetery to put flowers on Granddad's grave. 508 00:38:18,310 --> 00:38:20,060 The graveyard? 509 00:38:20,103 --> 00:38:22,313 Ooh, Pee Wee! 510 00:38:23,231 --> 00:38:24,315 Oh Pee Wee! Oh! 511 00:38:26,151 --> 00:38:27,735 The worms crawl in. 512 00:38:27,819 --> 00:38:29,570 The worms crawl out. 513 00:38:29,571 --> 00:38:34,909 The worms play pinochle on your snout. 514 00:38:41,666 --> 00:38:44,585 Hey, don't forget your flowers. 515 00:38:44,628 --> 00:38:46,879 - OK, where are the rednecks? - Those boys are over there. 516 00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:48,631 Where's Steve? 517 00:38:48,632 --> 00:38:52,593 I think we oughta nail him in his coffin and leave him overnight. 518 00:38:52,594 --> 00:38:55,888 Hey, listen. Listen to me. I'm gonna go back to her and... 519 00:38:55,889 --> 00:38:58,766 - She's hot, man. She is really hot. - That's what you said, Pee Wee. 520 00:38:58,767 --> 00:39:01,810 - Yeah but she's really hot Timmy! - Pee Wee, I'm getting hot. 521 00:39:01,811 --> 00:39:05,689 I want all you guys - but especially you. 522 00:39:06,608 --> 00:39:08,817 Go get her, Pee Wee. 523 00:39:10,445 --> 00:39:13,072 I'm getting hot and I really mean it. 524 00:39:13,073 --> 00:39:16,533 Let's you and I go do it before the others get there huh? 525 00:39:18,370 --> 00:39:20,579 Oh, shit! 526 00:39:21,081 --> 00:39:24,708 - Bye, Pee Wee. - Like shootin' fish in a barrel. 527 00:39:24,751 --> 00:39:27,336 Don't die till he gets all his clothes off. 528 00:39:27,337 --> 00:39:28,337 Right. 529 00:39:30,340 --> 00:39:33,050 - He's going to shit. - So am I. 530 00:39:33,468 --> 00:39:35,135 Steve! 531 00:39:36,513 --> 00:39:38,055 Shut up, man. 532 00:39:38,056 --> 00:39:42,977 Listen, come on! The signal's been delayed. Somethin' important came up. 533 00:39:43,186 --> 00:39:46,313 - Be realistic when you die. - Don't worry, sugar. 534 00:39:46,314 --> 00:39:47,982 - Go easy, Bill. - Right. 535 00:39:49,734 --> 00:39:51,735 OK. I'm ready. 536 00:39:53,321 --> 00:39:55,197 Well... 537 00:39:55,198 --> 00:39:59,034 I'm dying for it. But wait. 538 00:39:59,035 --> 00:40:02,496 I want you to come... slowly. 539 00:40:05,125 --> 00:40:09,461 Step by step... by step. 540 00:40:09,462 --> 00:40:11,964 I wanna feel your arms around me. 541 00:40:14,342 --> 00:40:19,763 Your lips on mine. Your hands on my body. 542 00:40:20,515 --> 00:40:21,974 Oh, yes. 543 00:40:22,475 --> 00:40:25,394 Touching, searching, feeling. 544 00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:27,730 Oh, Pee Wee! 545 00:40:31,276 --> 00:40:33,569 My God. 546 00:40:34,487 --> 00:40:36,989 What's the matter? Don't you like me? 547 00:40:43,788 --> 00:40:45,748 What? 548 00:40:47,542 --> 00:40:48,542 What? 549 00:40:51,087 --> 00:40:52,087 What? 550 00:40:55,633 --> 00:40:59,303 I thought she was supposed to be doing this realistic. 551 00:41:04,184 --> 00:41:06,685 Holy shit! 552 00:41:08,605 --> 00:41:10,606 Help, Tommy! 553 00:41:10,690 --> 00:41:12,816 Help, Tommy, come here! Hurry! 554 00:41:12,817 --> 00:41:15,277 We've got to act serious. 555 00:41:16,404 --> 00:41:17,446 Tommy! 556 00:41:17,822 --> 00:41:20,157 - What happened? - I don't know. 557 00:41:20,158 --> 00:41:22,659 - Check her pulse. - What pulse? 558 00:41:22,660 --> 00:41:25,996 - What do you mean, what pulse? - Is there a heartbeat? 559 00:41:26,039 --> 00:41:26,955 I don't think so. 560 00:41:26,998 --> 00:41:29,792 Of course there is a heartbeat! Otherwise she'd be... 561 00:41:29,793 --> 00:41:31,543 Dead. 562 00:41:31,753 --> 00:41:32,753 Ha! Pee Wee. 563 00:41:33,505 --> 00:41:36,965 Don't look, Pee Wee. Just don't look! 564 00:41:37,967 --> 00:41:40,260 She can't be dead. Let me look. 565 00:41:47,394 --> 00:41:50,729 - Dead as a fuckin' doornail. - Oh, shit! 566 00:41:50,814 --> 00:41:53,023 You got her too excited, Pee Wee. 567 00:41:53,108 --> 00:41:57,194 - I think we should call the police. - Police?! My mom's gonna kill me. 568 00:41:58,530 --> 00:42:00,406 - Oh we can't do that. - Why not? 569 00:42:00,407 --> 00:42:02,699 - Pee We'll go to jail. - Jail? 570 00:42:03,660 --> 00:42:04,952 What do you mean? 571 00:42:04,953 --> 00:42:08,747 Look man, this is coitus interruptus. In extremis. 572 00:42:08,790 --> 00:42:12,209 - Yeah, that's a good point. - But I didn't do anything, Tommy! 573 00:42:12,210 --> 00:42:14,128 The law doesn't look at it that way Pee Wee. 574 00:42:14,170 --> 00:42:18,757 If a woman dies while you're boffing her, you're considered an accomplice. 575 00:42:18,758 --> 00:42:21,677 - Oh, shit, Pee Wee. - Oh, my God. 576 00:42:21,678 --> 00:42:24,596 Look, Pee Wee. It really wasn't your fault. 577 00:42:25,098 --> 00:42:27,057 She probably had a bad heart. 578 00:42:27,100 --> 00:42:29,601 Yeah, it could have happened to any of us. 579 00:42:29,644 --> 00:42:31,520 Yeah, especially you, Meat. 580 00:42:33,064 --> 00:42:38,068 - So. What are we gonna do? - William, there's only one thing to do. 581 00:42:38,069 --> 00:42:40,279 What's that, Thomas? 582 00:42:42,740 --> 00:42:44,908 Bury her. 583 00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:47,744 Yeah. We've gotta protect Pee Wee. 584 00:42:47,745 --> 00:42:50,247 Hold up, they might miss her down at the library. 585 00:42:52,876 --> 00:42:56,128 Well I just suppose that's a chance we're gonna have to take. 586 00:42:56,129 --> 00:42:59,423 - Absolutely right. - Meat, you wanna grab that body? 587 00:43:02,427 --> 00:43:05,345 - Watch your hands buster. - What do you care? You're dead. 588 00:43:06,306 --> 00:43:09,975 - She's gettin' stiff already. - So are you, Meat. 589 00:43:36,836 --> 00:43:39,129 - What is this? - Nothin'. 590 00:43:40,089 --> 00:43:42,508 - What do you mean "Nothin" '? - Who's in there? Where? There! 591 00:43:42,509 --> 00:43:44,468 - Nobody. - "Nobody"? 592 00:43:51,226 --> 00:43:52,893 It's Steve. Steve? 593 00:43:53,019 --> 00:43:55,521 - It was a joke. It was just a joke. - Ajoke? 594 00:43:55,522 --> 00:43:58,190 Good God, Pee Wee, there's a woman lying dead 595 00:43:58,233 --> 00:44:01,068 over there. And you're telling us it was a joke? 596 00:44:01,069 --> 00:44:02,402 I didn't know! 597 00:44:02,529 --> 00:44:06,073 We've put up with your pranks for many years now. 598 00:44:06,074 --> 00:44:10,160 But we never dreamed that you'd have such little regard for human life. 599 00:44:10,161 --> 00:44:12,996 We're disappointed. Bitterly disappointed. 600 00:44:13,039 --> 00:44:15,249 Well, God help you, Pee Wee. 601 00:44:16,501 --> 00:44:19,378 - You're gonna have to live with this! - Yeah. Amen. 602 00:44:20,838 --> 00:44:23,048 But... 603 00:44:26,302 --> 00:44:28,262 Oh, shit, Steve. 604 00:44:29,305 --> 00:44:30,305 Hey! 605 00:44:30,557 --> 00:44:33,267 Goddammit, I'm talkin' to you! 606 00:44:34,519 --> 00:44:37,354 What the fuck do you think you're doin'? 607 00:44:37,355 --> 00:44:42,359 - It's the goddamn grave robbers again. - I'm gonna blow their fuckin' heads off. 608 00:44:44,529 --> 00:44:46,947 Come on, you guys. What's goin' on? 609 00:44:47,240 --> 00:44:49,658 Holy shit! 610 00:44:49,659 --> 00:44:52,452 Bye-bye, Pee Wee. See you later! 611 00:44:52,996 --> 00:44:55,163 What are you guys doin'? 612 00:44:55,164 --> 00:44:57,040 Shit! 613 00:44:58,710 --> 00:45:02,170 - Bye, Pee Wee! - See you around! 614 00:45:09,470 --> 00:45:13,223 - Crazy little fuckers. - Well, it's an easy ten bucks. 615 00:45:13,224 --> 00:45:15,392 That's right. Hand it over. 616 00:45:22,066 --> 00:45:24,276 - Just kids. - Yeah. 617 00:45:26,029 --> 00:45:28,739 Remember the last time we were on this road? 618 00:45:28,740 --> 00:45:30,824 Yeah. Couldn't forget that. 619 00:45:47,091 --> 00:45:49,301 I really wanna hear this story. 620 00:45:52,013 --> 00:45:53,680 Look out! 621 00:45:59,270 --> 00:46:00,812 Boogie, boogie, boogie! 622 00:46:02,899 --> 00:46:04,441 Boogie, boogie. boogie! 623 00:46:05,109 --> 00:46:06,652 Boogie, Boogie, boogie! 624 00:46:09,113 --> 00:46:10,113 Boogie, boogie! 625 00:46:10,490 --> 00:46:12,032 Boogie, boogie, boogie! 626 00:46:13,576 --> 00:46:15,118 Boogie, boogie, boogie! 627 00:46:15,119 --> 00:46:16,119 Boogie! 628 00:46:36,182 --> 00:46:38,392 All right. That's it. 629 00:46:51,864 --> 00:46:53,865 OK, OK. All right. 630 00:46:53,950 --> 00:46:56,159 All right, take it up. 631 00:46:59,163 --> 00:47:01,665 This is gonna scare the shit out of 'em. 632 00:47:08,089 --> 00:47:10,173 They gonna mess their trousers! 633 00:47:12,593 --> 00:47:15,804 - Why are we doin' this for? - I don't know, Billy. 634 00:47:15,805 --> 00:47:18,640 - Brian, get the house lights, please. - Sure. 635 00:47:18,641 --> 00:47:22,853 Just pretend Reverend Flavel and the county commissioners aren't out there. 636 00:47:22,854 --> 00:47:25,731 We'll do the scenes as we've rehearsed them. 637 00:47:25,732 --> 00:47:28,650 Now, don't worry about it. It's going to... 638 00:47:40,788 --> 00:47:44,124 - What is it? - These clowns. 639 00:47:44,751 --> 00:47:47,627 What's this supposed to mean? 640 00:47:47,628 --> 00:47:48,879 Well... 641 00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:52,841 They don't like John Henry playing Romeo to Wendy's Juliet. 642 00:47:54,510 --> 00:47:56,511 I'll withdraw if you think it's best. 643 00:47:56,554 --> 00:47:59,014 Oh, no. We're not givin' in to this stuff. 644 00:47:59,015 --> 00:48:00,974 Now hold on a second. 645 00:48:01,184 --> 00:48:06,521 John Henry, certainly we're not going to be intimidated by this stupidity. 646 00:48:06,522 --> 00:48:10,066 But, ultimately, the decision isn't ours. It's yours. 647 00:48:22,163 --> 00:48:24,372 Mrs. Morris! 648 00:48:26,125 --> 00:48:30,462 Oh, Mrs. Morris. I'd like you to meet His Honor Mayor John G. Abernathy. 649 00:48:30,463 --> 00:48:33,840 - How do you do? - How are you? Great school. Great. 650 00:48:33,883 --> 00:48:37,010 - Great school. My mother was a teacher. - Really? 651 00:48:37,011 --> 00:48:41,765 Have you met the other commissioners? Commissioner Couch. Commissioner Hurley. 652 00:48:41,766 --> 00:48:43,683 - Bob Gebhardt. - Pleased to meet you. 653 00:48:43,726 --> 00:48:47,395 - Well, gentlemen, I hope you enjoy it. - Not likely. 654 00:48:47,396 --> 00:48:49,606 I always admired the Bard myself. 655 00:48:49,607 --> 00:48:54,027 I know several thousand voters who don't share your view, Commissioner. 656 00:48:54,070 --> 00:48:56,696 That sounds like a threat, Reverend Flavel. 657 00:48:56,739 --> 00:48:59,783 The Lord doesn't have to threaten Mr. Flavel. 658 00:48:59,784 --> 00:49:01,868 You remember that, Reverend Commissioner. 659 00:49:01,869 --> 00:49:05,747 - Well, shall we start? - Of course, sir. 660 00:49:07,959 --> 00:49:11,586 Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized; 661 00:49:11,879 --> 00:49:14,673 Henceforth I never will be Romeo. 662 00:49:14,674 --> 00:49:16,675 What man art thou, that, thus be screened in night, 663 00:49:16,676 --> 00:49:19,594 So stumblest on my counsel? 664 00:49:20,012 --> 00:49:24,099 By a name I know not how to tell thee who I am: 665 00:49:24,475 --> 00:49:30,230 My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself, Because it is an enemy to thee. 666 00:49:30,773 --> 00:49:33,066 My ears have not yet drunk... 667 00:49:33,067 --> 00:49:36,486 - That kid's a Seminole. - Yeah, probably. 668 00:49:36,487 --> 00:49:39,823 Are thou not Romeo, and a Montague? 669 00:49:39,824 --> 00:49:43,285 Gentle Romeo, ifthou dost love, pronounce it faithfully. 670 00:49:43,286 --> 00:49:48,331 Or ifthou think'st i be too quickly won, i'll frown and be perverse and say thee nay. 671 00:49:48,332 --> 00:49:52,127 - Lady, by yonder biessed moon... - O swear not by the moon... 672 00:49:54,088 --> 00:49:57,591 That young man is not of the American persuasion. 673 00:49:57,592 --> 00:49:59,926 My bounty is as boundiess as the sea, 674 00:49:59,927 --> 00:50:02,637 My love as deep; the more I give to thee, 675 00:50:02,638 --> 00:50:05,473 The more i have... 676 00:50:05,474 --> 00:50:08,184 Yet I should kiil thee with much cherishing. 677 00:50:08,519 --> 00:50:11,021 Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow. 678 00:50:11,022 --> 00:50:13,857 That I shall say good night till it be morrow. 679 00:50:26,329 --> 00:50:28,914 - Well? - Didn't we tell you? 680 00:50:28,956 --> 00:50:34,961 I want the school board to cut off funds for this extravaganza immediately. 681 00:50:34,962 --> 00:50:37,589 Well Reverend, we're not the school board. The 682 00:50:37,632 --> 00:50:40,216 school board is an independently elected body. 683 00:50:40,259 --> 00:50:42,719 We'll discuss it however. I'll get back to you. 684 00:50:42,762 --> 00:50:43,970 This is ridiculous! 685 00:50:43,971 --> 00:50:49,893 Hell's a lot hotter than Angel Beach, Mr. Carter. You'll get quite a tan. 686 00:50:50,728 --> 00:50:53,021 I wouldn't worry too much about it. 687 00:50:58,361 --> 00:50:59,235 Who's that guy? 688 00:50:59,278 --> 00:51:01,863 It's Commissioner Gebhardt. He's a friend of Dad's. 689 00:51:01,864 --> 00:51:02,697 So what do you think? 690 00:51:02,740 --> 00:51:04,783 He's great guy. We got nothin' to worry about. 691 00:51:04,992 --> 00:51:05,992 Let's hope so. 692 00:51:06,035 --> 00:51:08,787 - You know who's behind this don't you? - Yeah. Balbricker. 693 00:51:08,788 --> 00:51:11,164 Right. Now she gets hers. 694 00:51:12,750 --> 00:51:15,752 Thomas! Hold it, Thomas! 695 00:51:24,387 --> 00:51:26,137 - Billy. - What's this? 696 00:51:26,180 --> 00:51:26,930 Blueprints. 697 00:51:26,973 --> 00:51:29,265 I know they're blueprints. What are they of? 698 00:51:30,226 --> 00:51:33,061 - Take a look. - OK. There's the school. 699 00:51:34,021 --> 00:51:37,649 OK. So this is the gym. So what? 700 00:51:37,650 --> 00:51:40,443 - So we take this snake... - Jesus Christ! What the hell you doin'?! 701 00:51:40,569 --> 00:51:41,736 Get it outta my face! 702 00:51:41,737 --> 00:51:42,821 You don't like snakes? 703 00:51:42,822 --> 00:51:45,365 I hate snakes! You know I hate snakes. Jesus! 704 00:51:45,366 --> 00:51:47,075 What are you gonna do? Kill her? 705 00:51:47,118 --> 00:51:49,536 It's just a rat snake. It's not poisonous. 706 00:52:45,509 --> 00:52:51,765 That old biack magic has me in its speli. 707 00:52:52,099 --> 00:52:58,063 That old biack magic that you weave so well. 708 00:52:58,147 --> 00:53:02,442 - Are you sure this is the one, Billy? - It's that one right there. 709 00:53:04,320 --> 00:53:06,529 - You're sure? - Yeah. 710 00:53:07,740 --> 00:53:09,532 Here we go. 711 00:53:09,742 --> 00:53:12,160 A flame. 712 00:53:12,244 --> 00:53:15,371 With such a burning desire. 713 00:53:15,372 --> 00:53:18,666 That only your kiss, kiss, kiss. 714 00:53:18,709 --> 00:53:21,377 Can put out the fire. 715 00:53:21,587 --> 00:53:26,382 - OK, Billy, gimme the snake. - Give you the snake? 716 00:53:26,383 --> 00:53:29,302 Get your own fuckin' snake. 717 00:53:29,303 --> 00:53:32,013 - I've got your snake right here. - Here. 718 00:53:32,014 --> 00:53:36,726 Oh, you're the lover I have waited for. 719 00:53:36,727 --> 00:53:43,108 The mate that fate had me created for. 720 00:53:43,109 --> 00:53:50,198 And every time your lips meet mine. 721 00:53:50,699 --> 00:53:52,909 Get it outta here! 722 00:53:52,910 --> 00:53:57,914 - Put him in the goddamn hole! - I want you to meet a friend of mine. 723 00:54:00,543 --> 00:54:02,585 OK, come on. 724 00:54:03,420 --> 00:54:05,713 In a spin. 725 00:54:05,714 --> 00:54:08,550 Lovin' that spin I'm in. 726 00:54:08,843 --> 00:54:14,556 under that old black magic called... 727 00:54:14,557 --> 00:54:18,601 Love. 728 00:54:18,644 --> 00:54:20,520 One more turn and we'll go. 729 00:54:47,423 --> 00:54:49,507 What in the world...? 730 00:55:03,189 --> 00:55:05,648 No, it can't be. I fired them. 731 00:55:24,168 --> 00:55:25,752 Excuse me. 732 00:55:30,382 --> 00:55:32,592 It's OK. Nothing to worry about. 733 00:55:33,928 --> 00:55:36,137 Just a little rat snake. 734 00:55:37,473 --> 00:55:39,057 No danger. 735 00:55:39,225 --> 00:55:41,559 No problem, Coach. I'll let him go outside. 736 00:55:41,602 --> 00:55:44,270 Quick thinking, Turner. Good job, son. 737 00:55:45,731 --> 00:55:47,690 Turner! 738 00:55:48,400 --> 00:55:50,443 Turner! 739 00:55:50,694 --> 00:55:52,528 Beautiful. 740 00:55:52,613 --> 00:55:54,822 - Hang on to that. - Jesus! 741 00:55:55,407 --> 00:55:57,367 Goddammit! 742 00:55:57,409 --> 00:56:00,203 Turner, I'm gonna kill you! Goddammit. 743 00:56:01,163 --> 00:56:04,457 Turner! 744 00:56:04,833 --> 00:56:08,127 That's it. You're not gonna surrender to him. 745 00:56:08,128 --> 00:56:10,713 No Seminole ever surrendered! 746 00:56:10,714 --> 00:56:12,799 Go on! That's it! 747 00:56:12,925 --> 00:56:14,259 Go, go! 748 00:56:14,260 --> 00:56:16,344 Oh, wait a minute. Wait! 749 00:56:16,470 --> 00:56:20,848 That's good acting when you wanna kill each other, but don't, huh? 750 00:56:20,849 --> 00:56:23,351 I think Hamlet's supposed to win this one. 751 00:56:23,352 --> 00:56:25,728 - Sorry, I just got carried away. - That's OK. 752 00:56:25,771 --> 00:56:27,730 Oh, Mrs. Morris. 753 00:56:28,065 --> 00:56:29,065 Oh Mrs. Morris. 754 00:56:29,942 --> 00:56:32,568 I must have a couple ofwords with the students please. 755 00:56:32,569 --> 00:56:34,904 - We're in the middle of a rehearsal. - It's very important. 756 00:56:34,947 --> 00:56:36,364 All right Mr. Carter. 757 00:56:36,448 --> 00:56:39,617 All right, folks. Let's get up here, please. Quickly. 758 00:56:39,618 --> 00:56:43,162 Let's move it. Folks, may we have your attention please. 759 00:56:43,205 --> 00:56:46,958 Mr. Carter has a few words. Come on, now. 760 00:56:47,376 --> 00:56:52,297 Thank you. I don't like to have to say this, but I don't want you to be too distressed 761 00:56:52,298 --> 00:56:56,759 because I'm quite sure it can be resolved perfectlyjustly. 762 00:56:56,802 --> 00:57:00,555 As you know, certain uninformed factions have attempted 763 00:57:00,556 --> 00:57:04,225 to halt our production of the scenes from Shakespeare. 764 00:57:04,351 --> 00:57:08,646 They influenced the county commission to address the school board, 765 00:57:08,647 --> 00:57:11,107 and indeed they have been granted a hearing. 766 00:57:11,108 --> 00:57:13,985 Therefore the superintendent of schools has ordered me 767 00:57:13,986 --> 00:57:17,905 to temporarily suspend this production, pending that hearing. 768 00:57:18,741 --> 00:57:21,659 I understand how you feel. Now, please listen. 769 00:57:21,660 --> 00:57:24,078 That is what I am doing officially. 770 00:57:24,580 --> 00:57:29,250 However, there's absolutely nothing to prevent you on your own 771 00:57:29,293 --> 00:57:32,795 continuing to practice as a class project. 772 00:57:32,796 --> 00:57:36,799 Of course I assure you, we're going to everything we possibly can 773 00:57:36,800 --> 00:57:40,303 to put this "Evening with Shakespeare" on the stage. 774 00:57:40,387 --> 00:57:42,889 Thank you, and what's the phrase? 775 00:57:42,890 --> 00:57:44,849 Break a leg! 776 00:57:44,892 --> 00:57:47,727 - What a mess. - Those bastards. 777 00:57:47,728 --> 00:57:48,895 Man, this is ridiculous. 778 00:57:48,979 --> 00:57:53,066 The county commissioners are gonna shutdown Shakespeare because they think it's dirty? 779 00:57:53,067 --> 00:57:56,611 Those creeps watch skin flicks every Saturday in the basement of the courthouse. 780 00:57:56,653 --> 00:57:57,403 You're kidding! 781 00:57:57,446 --> 00:57:59,697 No I'm not kidding. Commissioner Mason was caught 782 00:57:59,698 --> 00:58:04,243 exposing himself two years ago to his Bible school class and they hushed it up. 783 00:58:04,244 --> 00:58:07,330 - Oh, God. How did you know that? - Everybody knows that. That's right. 784 00:58:07,331 --> 00:58:10,041 - Well, don't worry about it. - What do you mean? 785 00:58:10,042 --> 00:58:12,293 We got a friend in court, remember? 786 00:58:12,628 --> 00:58:15,671 - Yeah, Commissioner... - Geb-fart. 787 00:58:15,839 --> 00:58:19,092 God, I love this. I just love it. 788 00:58:20,844 --> 00:58:25,139 I can't tell you how great it makes me feel to see you great American kids 789 00:58:25,140 --> 00:58:27,058 standing up and fighting for what you think is right. 790 00:58:27,059 --> 00:58:31,187 And believe me there's no question about what's right here. I think this is ridiculous. 791 00:58:31,188 --> 00:58:35,274 - But how can he do this? - Well, he hasn't done anything yet. 792 00:58:35,275 --> 00:58:38,861 All he's done is petitioned the school board for a hearing. 793 00:58:38,862 --> 00:58:40,071 But they stopped the play. 794 00:58:40,114 --> 00:58:42,573 Well now son they haven't stopped anything yet have they? 795 00:58:42,574 --> 00:58:44,951 - You're still rehearsing. - Yeah... 796 00:58:44,952 --> 00:58:45,993 Right. 797 00:58:45,994 --> 00:58:48,496 See you don't understand the politics behind this. 798 00:58:48,539 --> 00:58:51,541 This is the way it's gonna work. I've got it all mapped out. 799 00:58:51,583 --> 00:58:55,044 As you know, we've got an election coming up in a couple of weeks. 800 00:58:55,045 --> 00:58:57,422 Flavel's got a few votes under his thumb, 801 00:58:57,464 --> 00:59:00,591 It's not many, but it's enough to scare a couple of my fellow commissioners. 802 00:59:00,592 --> 00:59:02,969 So, what's the easy thing to do? 803 00:59:02,970 --> 00:59:05,805 We make Flavel happy. So... 804 00:59:05,806 --> 00:59:09,725 So the commission makes Flavel happy by taking the issue to the school board. 805 00:59:09,726 --> 00:59:13,229 Right. Now the school board's not up for reelection, 806 00:59:13,230 --> 00:59:16,357 so they turn the petition down and you'll be happy. 807 00:59:16,358 --> 00:59:20,653 And the commission is off the hook because... we tried. 808 00:59:23,323 --> 00:59:25,825 So how'd you get the commissioners to go along? 809 00:59:25,826 --> 00:59:27,910 Old-fashioned horse trading. 810 00:59:28,036 --> 00:59:31,038 Couple of my fellow commissioners have a rezoning 811 00:59:31,039 --> 00:59:33,708 project on the line, and I'm the swing vote. 812 00:59:33,709 --> 00:59:38,463 I really don't give a damn if they get their rezoning - but I can't let them know that. 813 00:59:38,464 --> 00:59:40,923 So I play hardball. 814 00:59:41,341 --> 00:59:44,135 Now if they want my swing vote, they have to help me with your problem. 815 00:59:44,136 --> 00:59:46,345 It's like the hip bone connected to the thigh 816 00:59:46,388 --> 00:59:48,681 bone, thigh bone to the ankle bone and so on... 817 00:59:48,682 --> 00:59:53,769 - It sounds like dirty pool to me. - Well... 818 00:59:54,104 --> 00:59:58,608 Well, now, little fella. Our great American system is built on compromise. 819 00:59:58,609 --> 01:00:03,029 Everybody wants something. The trick is to see that everybody gets a little piece. 820 01:00:03,155 --> 01:00:05,656 - You know what I mean? - You bet he does. 821 01:00:07,659 --> 01:00:09,744 Now, you've got my word on this. 822 01:00:10,496 --> 01:00:14,540 I'm not gonna let a pack of self-righteous bullies deprive you of your play. 823 01:00:14,541 --> 01:00:17,543 Matter of fact, if I'm not mistaken your principal is being notified right now 824 01:00:17,544 --> 01:00:22,840 that the school board has okayed the evening of Shakespeare. 825 01:00:22,841 --> 01:00:25,885 That's wonderful. Thank you very much. 826 01:00:26,303 --> 01:00:29,138 Well, you can't do somethin' for the little guy, you don't belong in office. 827 01:00:29,139 --> 01:00:34,018 Oh, Commissioner. Your meeting in five minutes. 828 01:00:34,770 --> 01:00:38,439 Now you kids go put on a hell of a play. 829 01:00:38,941 --> 01:00:41,651 - Thanks. - Thank you. 830 01:00:41,944 --> 01:00:44,695 Maybe I'll get invited to the opening night? 831 01:00:44,738 --> 01:00:46,113 Front row, center. 832 01:00:52,371 --> 01:00:54,455 - Great guy. - Yeah, he's swell! 833 01:01:01,129 --> 01:01:03,005 What's that? 834 01:01:03,006 --> 01:01:06,926 Reverend Flavel's petition to stop the Shakespeare festival. 835 01:01:06,927 --> 01:01:09,470 - Five thousand signatures. - Five thousand? 836 01:01:09,555 --> 01:01:12,682 Yeah, five thousand and every one of them prepared 837 01:01:12,683 --> 01:01:15,726 to vote against you if things don't go their way. 838 01:01:18,855 --> 01:01:21,065 Set up a meeting with Flavel. 839 01:01:21,900 --> 01:01:23,693 Right. 840 01:01:23,777 --> 01:01:25,987 I thought so. 841 01:01:33,245 --> 01:01:35,454 The Klan! 842 01:01:42,838 --> 01:01:46,757 - Guys, what's goin' on? What happened? - There's no need for you now. 843 01:01:46,758 --> 01:01:49,594 - Wait a minute. We're his friends. - I'm his brother. 844 01:01:49,595 --> 01:01:52,346 If you'd been have been here on time this wouldn't have happened. 845 01:01:52,347 --> 01:01:53,639 Look we couldn't help it. My truck wouldn't start. 846 01:01:53,640 --> 01:01:58,060 John's always waited for us to get here before he came out to the road. We didn't know. 847 01:01:58,061 --> 01:02:02,023 Leave him alone. It was John's mistake. 848 01:02:05,485 --> 01:02:08,404 - How badly is he hurt? - Just his pride. 849 01:02:09,031 --> 01:02:11,198 They tried to shave his head. 850 01:02:11,199 --> 01:02:15,161 A white man's little joke. But their day is coming. 851 01:02:17,706 --> 01:02:19,373 Whoa, buddy. 852 01:02:19,458 --> 01:02:22,043 Are you all right? You're sure, John? 853 01:02:24,212 --> 01:02:27,340 - I wanna go. - Let him go. 854 01:02:28,300 --> 01:02:30,092 All right, go. 855 01:02:30,469 --> 01:02:34,430 - That oughta stir 'em up. - Yeah, they oughta turn tail now. 856 01:02:36,933 --> 01:02:41,520 Look at them dirty redskins attacking that poor, defenseless cross. 857 01:02:48,445 --> 01:02:49,695 I will not yield, 858 01:02:49,696 --> 01:02:53,324 To kiss the ground beneath young Malcolm's feet. 859 01:02:53,325 --> 01:02:56,369 Though Birnam wood be come to Dunsinane, 860 01:02:56,370 --> 01:02:59,288 And thou opposed, being of no woman born, 861 01:02:59,289 --> 01:03:01,374 Yet I will try the last. 862 01:03:01,792 --> 01:03:04,001 Lay on, Macduff. 863 01:03:08,215 --> 01:03:12,385 And damned be he that first cries "Hold, enough!" 864 01:03:48,380 --> 01:03:50,798 - My sword broke. - His sword broke! 865 01:03:50,882 --> 01:03:53,676 - A sword! - A sword! 866 01:03:53,677 --> 01:03:56,512 His kingdom for a sword! 867 01:03:56,513 --> 01:03:59,432 Get him a sword! 868 01:03:59,433 --> 01:04:01,434 A sword! 869 01:04:02,144 --> 01:04:03,269 A sword! A sword! 870 01:04:03,395 --> 01:04:06,522 - I don't have a sword. - What do you mean you don't have a sword? 871 01:04:06,523 --> 01:04:10,484 - Just kill him. - With what? 872 01:04:13,113 --> 01:04:14,113 A sword! 873 01:04:14,781 --> 01:04:15,781 A sword! 874 01:04:16,283 --> 01:04:17,283 A sword! 875 01:04:18,201 --> 01:04:19,201 A sword! 876 01:04:20,662 --> 01:04:21,662 A sword! 877 01:04:22,414 --> 01:04:25,207 Billy, I got a sword. 878 01:05:01,578 --> 01:05:03,788 Stab him. 879 01:05:09,586 --> 01:05:11,670 Just kill me, John. 880 01:05:13,256 --> 01:05:15,341 Aw, shit! 881 01:05:18,345 --> 01:05:19,470 Stab! 882 01:05:19,513 --> 01:05:22,431 Will you stab me? Just stick it in, John! 883 01:06:02,681 --> 01:06:07,476 Now the hungry lion roars, And the wolf behowls the moon; 884 01:06:07,477 --> 01:06:12,815 As this heavy ploughman snores, All the weary task for done. 885 01:06:14,150 --> 01:06:17,820 Now the wasted brands do glow, 886 01:06:17,821 --> 01:06:20,948 Whilst the screech owl, screeching loud, 887 01:06:20,949 --> 01:06:24,493 Does put the wretch that lies in woe To the remembrance of a shroud. 888 01:06:32,711 --> 01:06:34,920 Flock! Follow. 889 01:06:38,216 --> 01:06:41,552 Not a mouse Shall disturb this hallowed house: 890 01:06:41,553 --> 01:06:46,140 For I am sent with broom before, To sweep the dust behind the door. 891 01:06:59,821 --> 01:07:03,282 Ifwe have unearned luck So to 'scape the serpent's tongue, 892 01:07:03,491 --> 01:07:07,578 We will make amends ere long; Or else Puck... 893 01:07:17,547 --> 01:07:21,926 - It's the cops! - Whoa, what's this? What's goin' on here? 894 01:07:24,638 --> 01:07:27,139 I am the principal and I will take care of this. 895 01:07:27,140 --> 01:07:29,850 Ladies and gentlemen, one moment, please. 896 01:07:29,851 --> 01:07:33,938 These learned people, the Righteous Flock, in their infinite wisdom, 897 01:07:33,939 --> 01:07:40,194 have decreed that the works of William Shakespeare, the pearl of English literature, 898 01:07:40,195 --> 01:07:45,824 are unfit to be performed by our students and too indecent to be viewed by you. 899 01:07:47,369 --> 01:07:51,538 However, my good friends, I assure you: 900 01:07:51,581 --> 01:07:53,874 we have not yet begun to fight. 901 01:07:55,794 --> 01:07:57,878 Thank you. 902 01:08:01,132 --> 01:08:03,300 Good night, 903 01:08:03,301 --> 01:08:06,762 and we'll see you all again... very soon. 904 01:08:13,019 --> 01:08:16,438 - Who do you think you're talkin' to? - A hypocrite. 905 01:08:16,481 --> 01:08:18,983 You care nothing about matters of the spirit. 906 01:08:18,984 --> 01:08:22,194 You just wanna control other people's lives, you fascist! 907 01:08:22,195 --> 01:08:24,822 We have dealt with the filth. I can see we will 908 01:08:24,823 --> 01:08:27,324 now have to deal with the purveyors offilth. 909 01:08:27,325 --> 01:08:31,078 - Hey, deal with this. - You whelp of Satan! 910 01:08:31,079 --> 01:08:35,249 No one speaks to me that way. You better get a grip on yourself, boy. 911 01:08:43,341 --> 01:08:45,634 Bye, Reverend. 912 01:08:45,635 --> 01:08:48,887 Anthony, that wasn't entirely helpful. 913 01:08:51,933 --> 01:08:54,727 Now, as I say, we have a warrant here 914 01:08:54,728 --> 01:08:57,771 charging the Angel Beach High drama club 915 01:08:57,772 --> 01:09:01,942 with public presentation of obscene material. 916 01:09:02,444 --> 01:09:07,406 Of course, we have no need to press this warrant. That was never our intent. 917 01:09:07,407 --> 01:09:10,075 These innocent children aren't to blame. 918 01:09:10,076 --> 01:09:13,495 - Do you believe this guy? - He's a deeply religious man! 919 01:09:13,496 --> 01:09:15,748 Yeah, and rich. 920 01:09:15,832 --> 01:09:19,626 We were the voice cryin' in the wilderness. 921 01:09:19,627 --> 01:09:22,755 And we were heard by the mayor 922 01:09:22,756 --> 01:09:27,968 and the God-fearin' members of the county commission, who voted unanimously 923 01:09:27,969 --> 01:09:30,554 to bring this corruption to a halt. 924 01:09:30,597 --> 01:09:34,141 Does your warrant apply to all plays by the drama club? 925 01:09:34,142 --> 01:09:37,686 My warrant applies to all plays by any drama club... 926 01:09:37,687 --> 01:09:39,646 That lousy son of a bitch. 927 01:09:39,773 --> 01:09:43,067 Gebhardt's leg bone got connected to Flavel's foot bone. 928 01:09:43,068 --> 01:09:46,361 And they both got shoved up our asses. I knew it. 929 01:09:46,362 --> 01:09:48,947 Fellow Americans! Fellow Americans... 930 01:09:48,948 --> 01:09:52,326 The Righteous Flock denounces you. You have no part in this. 931 01:09:52,368 --> 01:09:56,080 The God-fearin' members of the Klan support this action. 932 01:09:57,207 --> 01:10:00,834 The mixin' of nigger and Injun blood must stop. 933 01:10:00,835 --> 01:10:03,670 - God, I think I'm gonna puke. - Me too. 934 01:10:04,172 --> 01:10:06,340 Go on, get out of here! 935 01:10:06,341 --> 01:10:11,470 - The Righteous Flock denounces this... - Sister, please! 936 01:10:11,471 --> 01:10:14,640 Friends, I'd like to tell you that tomorrow night 937 01:10:14,641 --> 01:10:17,643 there will be a giant rally right here at Angel Beach 938 01:10:17,644 --> 01:10:22,773 to announce future steps we will take to preserve moral decency. 939 01:10:23,358 --> 01:10:26,068 Amen! Amen, brother! 940 01:10:26,069 --> 01:10:28,987 The Loyal Order of the Klan will be there! 941 01:10:29,739 --> 01:10:31,198 Here comes the son of a bitch. 942 01:10:31,241 --> 01:10:34,159 Be nice to him. Pretend you understand why he did it. 943 01:10:34,160 --> 01:10:37,454 - What are you talkin' about? - Just do it! I'll explain later. 944 01:10:37,455 --> 01:10:38,539 This is exhausting! 945 01:10:38,581 --> 01:10:41,875 All tuckered out from playin' hardball Commissioner? 946 01:10:43,670 --> 01:10:45,754 I was afraid you were gonna misunderstand. 947 01:10:45,797 --> 01:10:47,965 Look, look, I had to make a tactical retreat. 948 01:10:47,966 --> 01:10:51,009 If I'd hung in there, gotten steamrollered. you'd have no friend in court. 949 01:10:51,302 --> 01:10:54,346 Friend in court? Gee, that has a familiar ring. 950 01:10:54,514 --> 01:10:56,723 I said "retreat," not "surrender. " 951 01:10:56,724 --> 01:11:00,185 You heard this guy. He's a fanatic. Give him two weeks, he's gonna bury himself. 952 01:11:00,186 --> 01:11:02,771 - Right after the election, hm? - Yeah. 953 01:11:02,814 --> 01:11:06,775 Apparently you're not prepared to believe me, but I was working in your best interests. 954 01:11:06,818 --> 01:11:11,196 Look, votes don't mean a thing to me if I can't maintain my own integrity. 955 01:11:11,197 --> 01:11:14,032 Look, Commissioner we understand. It's not the end of the world. 956 01:11:14,033 --> 01:11:16,743 Everybody's just a little disappointed, right? 957 01:11:16,744 --> 01:11:18,954 I know. I understand. 958 01:11:18,955 --> 01:11:23,458 Wendy, let me talk to you. I want to explain what it is I'm trying to accomplish, 959 01:11:23,459 --> 01:11:27,087 - then you can relay it to the fellas. OK? - OK. 960 01:11:28,298 --> 01:11:30,591 I know what he's trying to accomplish. 961 01:11:30,592 --> 01:11:34,469 Mrs. Balbricker, be silent! I have spoken on this matter. 962 01:11:34,470 --> 01:11:37,389 What is at stake justifies anything we have to do. 963 01:11:37,390 --> 01:11:41,476 Well, then, I won't be there. It's indecent. 964 01:11:41,978 --> 01:11:45,647 Remember, he who is not with me is against me. 965 01:11:45,648 --> 01:11:47,858 Bubba! 966 01:11:49,611 --> 01:11:51,820 Tell us, Reverend. 967 01:11:52,530 --> 01:11:56,658 Friends, it's OK. It's all right. Don't forget tomorrow night. 968 01:12:03,291 --> 01:12:06,752 - This is more fun than puttin' on a play. - Bite your tongue. 969 01:12:06,753 --> 01:12:09,504 OK, guys. What are we gonna do? 970 01:12:10,840 --> 01:12:14,801 Well, I think for once we should be thoughtful, mature and adult. 971 01:12:15,845 --> 01:12:17,512 No, no. Tommy's right. 972 01:12:17,931 --> 01:12:22,267 We got a problem. It's time we grew up and we solved it in an adult manner. 973 01:12:22,268 --> 01:12:24,311 Right. Let's go right to the top. 974 01:12:24,312 --> 01:12:26,980 What would Eisenhower do if the Russians did to the 975 01:12:27,023 --> 01:12:29,524 country what the Righteous Flock has done to us? 976 01:12:29,525 --> 01:12:33,278 - Cut the fuckers' nuts off. - Right. 977 01:12:33,279 --> 01:12:36,531 - Any more questions? - Not a one. 978 01:12:37,158 --> 01:12:40,410 - Let's get backstage for battle plans. - Yeah. 979 01:12:44,040 --> 01:12:46,500 - And him too! - I don't like him. 980 01:12:46,501 --> 01:12:49,628 - What did he have to say? - Nothing much. 981 01:12:49,629 --> 01:12:52,756 - He's takin' me to dinner. - Dinner? 982 01:12:52,882 --> 01:12:56,635 He's takin' me to a nice, discreet restaurant down in Miami. 983 01:12:56,636 --> 01:13:00,389 - What are you up to? - Revenge. What are you up to? 984 01:13:00,390 --> 01:13:04,184 - Sounds good to me. - Yeah, but this time no explosives. 985 01:13:04,185 --> 01:13:06,645 - Wait I don't get it. - Nobody tells me nothin'. 986 01:13:06,771 --> 01:13:10,899 Commissioner. Commissioner, you're takin' that kid to dinner? 987 01:13:10,900 --> 01:13:13,527 Just gonna put another notch in my six-shooter. 988 01:13:13,528 --> 01:13:16,571 For God's sake, we have an election in just over a week. 989 01:13:16,572 --> 01:13:19,616 Don't worry about it. I'm takin' her all the way to Miami. 990 01:13:19,617 --> 01:13:22,577 But, Commissioner, she is only 17 years old. 991 01:13:22,578 --> 01:13:25,747 Oh, yeah? Then I'll only put half a notch in my gun. 992 01:13:56,904 --> 01:13:58,655 I hope this is better than the last one. 993 01:13:58,698 --> 01:14:01,491 At least we can see this one. We couldn't see the other one. 994 01:14:01,492 --> 01:14:03,785 Wow! Look at that fancy costume! 995 01:14:03,786 --> 01:14:07,873 That guy's wearing argyle socks. Must be a high-budgetjob. 996 01:14:07,874 --> 01:14:11,626 This director must be the Cecil B De Mille of pussy film. 997 01:14:12,420 --> 01:14:14,629 Man, that woman is ugly. 998 01:14:14,630 --> 01:14:16,923 Hose her down, boy! Hose her down. 999 01:14:18,801 --> 01:14:20,594 Look at them tits. 1000 01:14:21,387 --> 01:14:24,931 Holy shit! Look at the dick on that son of a bitch! 1001 01:14:26,642 --> 01:14:29,686 Mayor, that guy's dork is bigger than yours. 1002 01:14:30,688 --> 01:14:35,901 Hey, mayor! If you had a cape like that, you could give your secretary a flyin' fuck. 1003 01:14:36,652 --> 01:14:39,654 Look at that snatch! 1004 01:14:39,655 --> 01:14:42,783 Did Reverend Flavel approve of this one? 1005 01:14:42,784 --> 01:14:46,453 Approve of it? Are you shittin' me? He gave me this one! 1006 01:14:49,916 --> 01:14:52,167 That stuff looks like diarrhea. 1007 01:14:52,168 --> 01:14:54,378 Only worse. 1008 01:14:56,631 --> 01:14:59,966 And now for the grand experiment. 1009 01:14:59,967 --> 01:15:02,177 Oh, no. 1010 01:15:03,012 --> 01:15:06,765 Wait a minute. As you know, I am the barf inspector. 1011 01:15:06,766 --> 01:15:09,393 I gotta make sure it has exactly the right plop. 1012 01:15:09,394 --> 01:15:12,479 Barf inspector comin' through! Excuse me. Careful. 1013 01:15:12,480 --> 01:15:16,441 - This couldn't happen to a nicer guy. - X marks the spot. Let her rip! 1014 01:15:20,655 --> 01:15:24,950 - Right in the eye. OK, more corn. - Corn. Corn. 1015 01:15:39,715 --> 01:15:43,885 Please, Madame. At La Fontana Di Voglio, everyone waits. 1016 01:15:43,886 --> 01:15:47,764 Please, to the back of the line. Merci, thank you very much. 1017 01:15:47,765 --> 01:15:50,016 - Ah, Monsieur Gebhardt. - Alex. 1018 01:15:50,059 --> 01:15:52,269 How good to see you, Monsieur. 1019 01:15:52,854 --> 01:15:56,106 We are expecting a guest this evening, I presume? 1020 01:15:56,107 --> 01:15:58,191 You presume correctly. 1021 01:15:58,192 --> 01:16:02,571 And at what time is your sister arriving? Or is it your cousin this time? 1022 01:16:02,572 --> 01:16:08,827 - Actually, this one's more like my niece. - But of course, Monsieur. Of course. 1023 01:16:36,147 --> 01:16:38,732 - Is everything all set? - All set. 1024 01:16:38,733 --> 01:16:41,151 - This is gonna be good. - Go get 'em, Billy. 1025 01:16:41,152 --> 01:16:43,570 - Is my hood on straight? - Can you see? 1026 01:16:43,571 --> 01:16:47,199 - Yeah. - Then your hood's on straight, stupid! 1027 01:16:47,200 --> 01:16:49,493 Everybody's a fuckin' comedian. 1028 01:16:49,494 --> 01:16:52,746 - They oughta be here soon. - I'm goin' down the road. 1029 01:16:52,747 --> 01:16:54,831 You be careful! 1030 01:17:11,766 --> 01:17:15,519 Where the hell are they? They sh... 1031 01:17:16,187 --> 01:17:18,480 OK, guys, be careful. 1032 01:17:21,192 --> 01:17:23,193 Where's Mickey? 1033 01:17:26,989 --> 01:17:29,449 Where the hell is he? 1034 01:17:31,077 --> 01:17:34,412 - Hey, you Klan pricks! - OK, guys. Let's go. 1035 01:17:34,455 --> 01:17:39,584 Yeah, you boy. Why don't you boys go on home and choke your chicken and beat your kids? 1036 01:17:39,585 --> 01:17:42,003 That's your speed. 1037 01:17:42,004 --> 01:17:44,923 Excuse me. Have you met my friend Meat? 1038 01:17:44,924 --> 01:17:50,554 Go screw your wives! You'll have to wake 'em up and tell 'em what you're doin', though. 1039 01:17:50,555 --> 01:17:54,641 Forget him. Let's get to the meetin'. 1040 01:18:07,280 --> 01:18:10,198 Hey, where you goin'? The rally's this way. 1041 01:18:12,702 --> 01:18:14,786 Shortcut. 1042 01:18:27,800 --> 01:18:30,635 What the hell is goin' on here? 1043 01:18:37,184 --> 01:18:39,477 Evenin', boys. 1044 01:18:39,478 --> 01:18:41,688 - Howdy. - Welcome, fellas. 1045 01:18:42,315 --> 01:18:44,816 We thought you might like to meet a friend of ours. 1046 01:18:44,817 --> 01:18:47,319 Say what? 1047 01:18:50,031 --> 01:18:53,033 Yeah, I remember him. 1048 01:18:53,034 --> 01:18:56,786 You did a mighty fine job on him, Eustace! 1049 01:18:57,538 --> 01:19:00,790 The stingy little fucker wouldn't leave no tip. 1050 01:19:02,293 --> 01:19:05,837 Well, now, in lieu of a tip, why don't we just return the favor? 1051 01:19:06,172 --> 01:19:09,090 Louisville tit? What did he say? 1052 01:19:09,091 --> 01:19:12,552 - What did you say, boy? - Why don't we give you a trim? 1053 01:19:12,553 --> 01:19:16,056 Oh, you snot noses are gonna give us a trim? 1054 01:19:19,935 --> 01:19:23,480 - us and a few of our friends. - A few of these friends here. 1055 01:19:28,611 --> 01:19:33,406 Well, you better bring the army, boy. Bring the whole fuckin' uS cavalry. 1056 01:19:33,491 --> 01:19:36,826 Actually, we had something slightly different in mind. 1057 01:19:36,869 --> 01:19:38,953 - Oh, yeah? - Oh, yeah. 1058 01:19:44,126 --> 01:19:48,088 Aw, shit! They're all fuckin' Indians. 1059 01:19:51,092 --> 01:19:54,636 Aw, shit. Oh, that's a lot of Injuns. 1060 01:19:58,099 --> 01:20:01,142 They ain't happy. These Injuns ain't happy. 1061 01:20:01,852 --> 01:20:04,562 Well, now. Don't be shy. 1062 01:20:05,106 --> 01:20:07,148 Excuse me. 1063 01:20:07,900 --> 01:20:09,776 Hi. 1064 01:20:09,902 --> 01:20:12,237 Now in consideration of your status in the community, 1065 01:20:12,238 --> 01:20:15,573 we've imported a very special gentleman to give you your clip. 1066 01:20:15,574 --> 01:20:18,118 - Allow me. - I'd like you to meet Brian Schwartz. 1067 01:20:18,119 --> 01:20:20,328 He's Jewish. He's our Mohel for the day. 1068 01:20:20,329 --> 01:20:24,833 What, you may ask, is a Mohel? Good question. A Mohel is a Jewish barber. 1069 01:20:25,292 --> 01:20:28,336 - But not exactly. - Ask him what a Mohel is exactly. 1070 01:20:28,337 --> 01:20:31,673 - Come on! - Go on, ask him. 1071 01:20:31,674 --> 01:20:34,926 - What in hell's a Mohel? - I thought you would never ask. 1072 01:20:34,927 --> 01:20:37,679 Do you remember when you had your bris? 1073 01:20:37,722 --> 01:20:40,765 Probably a barbecue and a bris in your case. 1074 01:20:40,850 --> 01:20:43,768 - Go on, ask him what a bris is. - What in the fuck is a bris? 1075 01:20:43,769 --> 01:20:46,813 Good question. Well, a bris is a circumcision, 1076 01:20:46,814 --> 01:20:50,275 and a Mohel is a man who performs a bris or circumcision. 1077 01:20:50,276 --> 01:20:53,778 And this instrument is a Zemel. 1078 01:20:54,113 --> 01:20:58,491 And a Zemel is used by a Mohel to perform the bris. 1079 01:21:00,578 --> 01:21:02,537 - Would you hold that? - Absolutely. 1080 01:21:02,580 --> 01:21:07,584 Now, this Zemel has been used to chop off literally hundreds of foreskins. 1081 01:21:07,585 --> 01:21:09,294 - Hundreds. - Amen. 1082 01:21:09,295 --> 01:21:12,964 What better to shave the heads of a bunch of pricks like you? 1083 01:21:13,799 --> 01:21:17,469 - The fuck you will! - That's it. 1084 01:21:25,895 --> 01:21:28,813 Sit down, Ansell. Sit down. 1085 01:21:32,067 --> 01:21:34,360 Line up, boys. 1086 01:21:34,361 --> 01:21:37,405 Say, now. This is gettin' out of hand here, boys. 1087 01:21:37,406 --> 01:21:40,825 Let's talk this over, OK? I tell you what we're gonna do. 1088 01:21:41,660 --> 01:21:44,162 We're gonna let you off this time, OK? 1089 01:21:44,163 --> 01:21:48,708 You're gonna get out of here and we don't wanna see you around here no more. 1090 01:21:48,709 --> 01:21:51,336 - That a deal? - Yeah, now that's fair, ain't it? 1091 01:21:51,420 --> 01:21:53,505 You gotta admit, that is fair. 1092 01:21:54,256 --> 01:21:56,341 Nah. 1093 01:21:56,342 --> 01:21:57,801 Line up, boys. 1094 01:21:57,802 --> 01:22:02,597 We'll most certainly have to retire this Zemel after this job. 1095 01:22:36,674 --> 01:22:39,717 - Madame, we'll wait. - That will be grand. 1096 01:22:54,859 --> 01:22:57,986 You sly devil. I just can't stand it. 1097 01:22:58,279 --> 01:23:01,614 Look Jack, i'il have you know I'm the guest of Big Bobby Gebhardt. 1098 01:23:01,615 --> 01:23:04,409 County Commissioner of Seward County and a very big deal. 1099 01:23:04,451 --> 01:23:06,202 - You better take me to his tabie pronto. 1100 01:23:06,203 --> 01:23:08,121 - Piease Madame, please. What is the problem 1101 01:23:08,414 --> 01:23:11,916 I happen to be the guest of Big Bob Gebhardt, 1102 01:23:11,917 --> 01:23:15,879 County Commissioner of Seward County, and a very big deal. 1103 01:23:15,880 --> 01:23:18,590 You better take me to his table pronto. 1104 01:23:18,924 --> 01:23:23,303 - Are you sure it's Commissioner Gebhardt? - Move it, dildo breath! 1105 01:23:24,638 --> 01:23:28,182 Giddyup! Whoa, what an ass! 1106 01:23:31,020 --> 01:23:34,981 Bobby! Oh, Bobby! 1107 01:23:34,982 --> 01:23:39,068 Little Bobby Gebhardt, where are you? 1108 01:23:39,361 --> 01:23:43,740 It's your little snatchy-poo! 1109 01:23:44,158 --> 01:23:48,870 What are you waitin' around for? Roll 'em outi Git aiong, little doggies. 1110 01:23:50,247 --> 01:23:52,457 We're here, jackass! 1111 01:23:54,877 --> 01:23:57,921 Bobby. Baby. 1112 01:24:01,050 --> 01:24:02,508 Oh, my God. 1113 01:24:08,474 --> 01:24:11,517 What are you doin'? Are you crazy? 1114 01:24:11,602 --> 01:24:13,895 I'm crazy for you, you big horse. 1115 01:24:13,938 --> 01:24:16,022 I want a drink. Gar-con! 1116 01:24:16,982 --> 01:24:20,026 Gar-con! What's the matter stupid? Don't you speak French? 1117 01:24:20,069 --> 01:24:21,444 Yeah. Oui, oui. 1118 01:24:21,487 --> 01:24:26,407 Well, get me a drink. It's my birthday today. 1119 01:24:26,492 --> 01:24:28,576 I'm 17 today. 1120 01:24:29,328 --> 01:24:32,038 Golly, 17! 1121 01:24:32,122 --> 01:24:33,915 Don't say 17. 1122 01:24:34,041 --> 01:24:37,043 Sweet 17 and never been kissed. 1123 01:24:38,587 --> 01:24:41,089 That kid is 23. 20. 1124 01:24:41,465 --> 01:24:43,967 Where does the time go? 1125 01:24:44,051 --> 01:24:49,180 Why, do you realize I was only 14 when we first met? 1126 01:24:49,264 --> 01:24:52,517 I don't know her. isn't this crazy? 1127 01:24:52,559 --> 01:24:58,606 It was so romantic. I was a Brownie in his wife's Girl Scout troop. 1128 01:24:58,691 --> 01:25:02,443 - You swine! - Gimme a Shirley Temple. 1129 01:25:08,075 --> 01:25:10,034 It's my niece. She does it all the time. 1130 01:25:10,077 --> 01:25:13,538 You should have seen her last year at the Elks Club. 1131 01:25:14,164 --> 01:25:19,085 Hey, what are you doin' with my boa? Are you some kind of sickie? Pervert! 1132 01:25:21,630 --> 01:25:23,840 Very cute. Well, I'm leaving. 1133 01:25:23,841 --> 01:25:26,259 Get out of that chair and I'll yell "rape. " 1134 01:25:26,301 --> 01:25:28,594 - You'll what? - I'll yell "rape. " 1135 01:25:29,722 --> 01:25:31,931 You're bluffing. 1136 01:25:35,269 --> 01:25:36,269 Rape! 1137 01:25:36,770 --> 01:25:37,770 Rape! 1138 01:25:38,439 --> 01:25:42,817 Oh, Bobby, don't leave me. I can't have our baby alone. 1139 01:25:46,864 --> 01:25:50,408 My daughter's so funny. She's just wild. 1140 01:25:50,826 --> 01:25:54,912 How's that grab you? Now sit there and take your medicine. 1141 01:25:57,124 --> 01:25:59,167 She never stops. She's so quick. 1142 01:26:01,754 --> 01:26:04,464 Yes, yes, that's it. That's right, brother. 1143 01:26:04,590 --> 01:26:07,925 Let's ail stand up for Jesus. 1144 01:26:08,177 --> 01:26:12,138 Tiil every foe is vanquished. 1145 01:26:12,181 --> 01:26:16,142 And Christ is Lord indeed. 1146 01:26:16,268 --> 01:26:20,855 Stand up, stand up for Jesus. 1147 01:26:20,939 --> 01:26:25,026 Ye soldiers of the cross. 1148 01:26:25,069 --> 01:26:29,447 Lift high his royal banner. 1149 01:26:29,573 --> 01:26:34,160 It must not suffer loss. 1150 01:26:34,203 --> 01:26:38,748 From victory unto victory. 1151 01:26:38,791 --> 01:26:43,127 His army shall he iead. 1152 01:26:43,212 --> 01:26:47,924 Tiil every foe is vanquished. 1153 01:26:47,966 --> 01:26:52,678 And Christ is Lord indeed. 1154 01:26:52,721 --> 01:26:57,016 Thank you, brothers, for that inspirational hymn about Jesus. 1155 01:26:57,643 --> 01:27:00,144 And now, friends, as I was say... 1156 01:27:08,237 --> 01:27:10,738 As I was sayin'... 1157 01:27:22,292 --> 01:27:24,293 Good Lord. 1158 01:27:29,258 --> 01:27:31,676 - Is this part of the show? - I don't know. 1159 01:27:37,891 --> 01:27:40,268 What a bunch of assholes. Yeah, I'll say so. 1160 01:27:40,310 --> 01:27:42,103 Do you recognize any of them? 1161 01:27:42,229 --> 01:27:45,356 Hold it! Hold, I say. 1162 01:27:45,482 --> 01:27:47,775 Stand, I say. 1163 01:27:48,443 --> 01:27:53,030 Behold, the spawn of Satan. 1164 01:27:53,615 --> 01:27:56,784 The bowels of perdition. 1165 01:27:57,452 --> 01:28:02,874 - Hear my words. I speak salvation. - Right, get ready. 1166 01:28:02,916 --> 01:28:05,835 - I speak redemption. - Now! 1167 01:28:06,879 --> 01:28:09,797 Verily I say this to thee. 1168 01:28:10,048 --> 01:28:14,760 Holy shiti Look at the dick on that son of a bitch. 1169 01:28:18,807 --> 01:28:22,268 Mayor, that guy's dork is bigger than yours. 1170 01:28:24,521 --> 01:28:27,857 Hey, mayori if you get yourself one of those capes 1171 01:28:27,900 --> 01:28:30,818 you could give your secretary a flyin' fuck. 1172 01:28:31,153 --> 01:28:35,323 - Look at the size of that snatchi - Oh, Mother. 1173 01:28:38,160 --> 01:28:43,164 - Did Reverend Fiavei approve of this one? - You scumi 1174 01:28:43,373 --> 01:28:46,918 Approve? Heil, Reverend Flavel gave me this one. 1175 01:28:47,628 --> 01:28:50,338 I can explain it to you. Let me tell you. 1176 01:28:55,802 --> 01:28:59,347 It's all right. I swear it's gonna be OK. 1177 01:28:59,598 --> 01:29:03,059 It's the goddamn communist... 1178 01:29:03,268 --> 01:29:07,355 Those sons of bitches... You son of a bitch! You get out of here. 1179 01:29:10,317 --> 01:29:14,820 I told you to get out! I tell ya, it's gonna be OK. 1180 01:29:15,405 --> 01:29:18,324 Aw, shit! 1181 01:29:44,476 --> 01:29:46,686 God, I needed that. 1182 01:29:48,397 --> 01:29:52,775 Oh, don't worry. Commissioner Gebhardt'll pay for it. 1183 01:29:52,901 --> 01:29:56,362 He's county commissioner of Seward County, for piss sakes. 1184 01:29:57,614 --> 01:30:02,410 You don't think he's gonna stick ya for a 50-cent drink, for piss sakes? 1185 01:30:03,245 --> 01:30:05,538 Hey, waiter! 1186 01:30:06,373 --> 01:30:07,373 Hey waiter! 1187 01:30:09,501 --> 01:30:10,501 Hey waiter! 1188 01:30:11,628 --> 01:30:15,589 Put shitface's drink here on Commissioner Gebhardt's bill. 1189 01:30:16,300 --> 01:30:19,552 For piss sakes, he's up for reelection in two weeks. 1190 01:30:19,720 --> 01:30:22,138 Do you think he needs this shit? 1191 01:30:23,640 --> 01:30:28,352 - She's crazy. - Your ass sucks canal water, buddy. 1192 01:30:30,522 --> 01:30:34,483 Oh, there's my Shirley Temple. 1193 01:30:34,651 --> 01:30:37,486 Hey, where's my cherry? 1194 01:30:38,030 --> 01:30:40,239 Who got my cherry? 1195 01:30:40,574 --> 01:30:42,658 Bobby. 1196 01:30:47,372 --> 01:30:50,291 Bobby, I lost my cherry. 1197 01:30:51,710 --> 01:30:53,794 Bobby, 1198 01:30:53,879 --> 01:30:57,548 did you get my cherry again? 1199 01:30:57,632 --> 01:31:00,343 You saucy little devil. 1200 01:31:00,469 --> 01:31:03,929 You can't get a girl's cherry twice. 1201 01:31:03,972 --> 01:31:06,599 You sly goose. 1202 01:31:22,240 --> 01:31:24,825 Oh, my God. 1203 01:31:32,542 --> 01:31:35,169 Oh, Bobby. 1204 01:31:36,171 --> 01:31:40,132 Bobby, I think I'm gonna be... sick. 1205 01:31:40,884 --> 01:31:43,094 Don't be sick. 1206 01:31:43,929 --> 01:31:46,347 Bobby, I am. I'm gonna be... 1207 01:31:49,768 --> 01:31:53,020 Not the pool. No, not the pool. 1208 01:32:06,701 --> 01:32:09,537 Back to Howard Johnson's. 1209 01:32:46,616 --> 01:32:49,535 Boy, it sure tastes better goin' down. 1210 01:32:51,371 --> 01:32:53,998 Well, I feel better now. 1211 01:32:55,083 --> 01:32:57,168 Bye. 1212 01:32:57,586 --> 01:32:59,795 Oh, my bag. Don't wanna forget my bag. 1213 01:33:03,216 --> 01:33:05,718 Well, farewell! 1214 01:33:08,180 --> 01:33:10,389 Ben, what's goin' on? 1215 01:33:13,727 --> 01:33:17,188 I will sue you! You will not have a pot to piss in! 1216 01:33:17,355 --> 01:33:19,565 Look! 1217 01:33:27,365 --> 01:33:31,535 My tit! You broke my tit! 1218 01:33:31,578 --> 01:33:35,247 I'm gonna sue you! Where are my lawyers? 1219 01:33:35,957 --> 01:33:40,961 - Come on, boys. Pictures! I want pictures! - Say "I'm ruined. " 1220 01:33:41,129 --> 01:33:45,424 - Oh, shit. - Another one. More pictures. This is nice. 1221 01:33:51,264 --> 01:33:54,183 Good luck in the election. I'll see you at the polls. 1222 01:33:54,226 --> 01:33:57,686 This is the most disgusting display I have ever seen. 1223 01:33:57,771 --> 01:34:00,397 What a dump! We're leaving. 1224 01:34:02,901 --> 01:34:05,528 We're off to see the Wizard. 1225 01:34:05,529 --> 01:34:07,196 The wonderful Wizard of Oz. 1226 01:34:07,280 --> 01:34:08,989 Because, because, because. 1227 01:34:09,115 --> 01:34:11,075 Because of the wonderful things he does. 1228 01:34:11,117 --> 01:34:12,368 We're offto see the Wizard... 1229 01:35:32,824 --> 01:35:37,620 - Good luck in the election, Commissioner. - Let me discuss the issues with you. 1230 01:35:37,704 --> 01:35:40,581 - Commissioner Couch. Republican. - Yeah. 1231 01:35:40,790 --> 01:35:42,583 Good luck in the elections. 1232 01:35:44,294 --> 01:35:47,546 Wait! Wait, don't go. Stop! 1233 01:35:49,382 --> 01:35:51,800 Don't go. Wait! 1234 01:35:51,885 --> 01:35:54,094 Stop! 1235 01:35:56,056 --> 01:35:58,265 April Fool! 1236 01:36:19,704 --> 01:36:25,125 What the hell are you hittin' me for? Lady, I'm warnin' you. Don't hit me no more... 1237 01:36:27,587 --> 01:36:29,797 Well, I warned you. 1238 01:36:30,340 --> 01:36:35,052 Don'tjust lie there all spread-eagled like that. It looks obscene. 1239 01:37:07,460 --> 01:37:11,213 You are a disgrace to the profession. 1240 01:37:11,381 --> 01:37:13,966 You are... je Ne sais quoi... 1241 01:37:14,175 --> 01:37:16,051 relieved of duty. 1242 01:37:16,177 --> 01:37:21,098 I am the new maît re de La Fontana Di Voglio.