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Downloaded from
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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MAN (narrating):
In the beginning,
God created the universe,
4
00:00:25,375 --> 00:00:27,208
the heavens...
5
00:00:29,083 --> 00:00:31,208
and the Earth.
6
00:00:37,709 --> 00:00:42,750
Then God created
the first nerd.
7
00:00:50,959 --> 00:00:53,959
♪♪
8
00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:07,083
(chattering)
9
00:01:12,834 --> 00:01:15,875
I'm going to take note
on your champagne glasses.
10
00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:20,250
Check the silver service
and make sure that
it's properly polished.
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00:01:20,333 --> 00:01:23,375
Eugene, take this
to the kitchen. Make sure
the steam tables have arrived.
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00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:26,166
Check on the tablecloths
and make sure they're
the right color.
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00:01:29,291 --> 00:01:31,917
(continues chattering)
14
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,250
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy, I don't know.
15
00:01:34,333 --> 00:01:36,709
Aaron, relax.
You're driving
us all crazy.
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00:01:36,792 --> 00:01:38,875
This better be
a great wedding.
17
00:01:38,959 --> 00:01:42,083
Every political heavyweight from
the party is gonna be there
checking me out.
18
00:01:42,166 --> 00:01:45,750
Jeanie's wedding
is going to be wonderful.
Fix your ascot.
19
00:01:45,834 --> 00:01:49,875
How come we never met this guy
that Jeanie's marrying?
20
00:01:49,959 --> 00:01:52,583
-What's his name again?
-Dudley Dawson.
21
00:01:52,667 --> 00:01:56,750
-Yeah.
-Hey, I wonder if he's from
the Schenectady Dawsons.
22
00:01:56,834 --> 00:01:59,250
They're a very powerful
family back east.
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00:01:59,333 --> 00:02:01,417
(snaps fingers)
I went to school with Cap
Dawson.
24
00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:05,250
-Talk about your blue bloods.
-Isn't it just
a little bit strange
25
00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:09,000
that Jeanie never brought,
uh, what's-his-butt
over here before?
26
00:02:09,083 --> 00:02:13,291
(scoffs)
His name is Dudley.
They only met three months ago.
27
00:02:13,375 --> 00:02:15,458
I know I'd be a shoo-in
with the people
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00:02:15,542 --> 00:02:18,333
if I could just get
those old-money blue bloods
to endorse my candidacy.
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00:02:18,417 --> 00:02:20,917
And they'd be damn fools
not to, Dad,
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00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,583
irregardless of the fact
that you are nouveau riche.
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00:02:28,208 --> 00:02:31,917
Don't you ever use
that phrase in this house!
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00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:37,458
I am not nouveau riche.
I am a self-made businessman.
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00:02:37,542 --> 00:02:40,291
And I'm not your dad.
I'm your father-in-law.
Get it?
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00:02:40,375 --> 00:02:44,792
Right. Self-made businessman.
Father-in law. I-I got it.
35
00:02:44,875 --> 00:02:47,500
Can we please stop talking
about the campaign for a minute?
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00:02:47,583 --> 00:02:50,667
Focus on Jeanie's wedding.
That's what's important here.
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00:02:50,750 --> 00:02:53,041
Gaylord's right,
as usual.
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00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:58,041
-WOMAN: Hi, everybody.
-Jeanie!
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00:03:00,125 --> 00:03:03,625
-You look wonderful.
-Thank you.
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00:03:03,709 --> 00:03:05,542
I love that outfit.
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00:03:05,625 --> 00:03:07,834
You do?
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00:03:07,917 --> 00:03:11,375
-So, you excited?
-Oh, yeah. (laughs)
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00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:14,375
Where'd you meet...
Dudley?
44
00:03:14,458 --> 00:03:17,750
Well, at a ham
and lima bean cookout.
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00:03:23,542 --> 00:03:26,208
It was an Omega Mu sorority
fund-raiser.
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00:03:26,792 --> 00:03:28,834
Oh, ho, ho, sure, sure. The...
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00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:31,875
the Schenectady Dawsons
are very big with sororities
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00:03:31,959 --> 00:03:34,166
and fund-raisers and cookouts.
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00:03:34,250 --> 00:03:35,542
(doorbell ringing)
50
00:03:35,625 --> 00:03:38,667
All your questions
will be answered in a moment.
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00:03:38,750 --> 00:03:40,834
-(knocking)
-Oh!
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00:03:40,917 --> 00:03:43,125
-Booger?
-Why'd she call him Booger?
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00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:47,041
-Baby!
-Oh!
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00:03:47,125 --> 00:03:49,041
Oh, honey.
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00:03:49,125 --> 00:03:52,417
Oh... buns.
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00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:54,917
-Give me buns!
-(shrieks)
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00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,709
-May I have them, please?
-Stop it!
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00:03:57,792 --> 00:03:59,834
-Give me buns!
-Shh! No! Shh!
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00:03:59,917 --> 00:04:02,709
Moo! Moo!
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00:04:02,792 --> 00:04:04,208
My family is waiting
to meet you.
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00:04:04,291 --> 00:04:05,500
(groans)
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00:04:05,583 --> 00:04:07,166
(gasps)
Mommy!
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00:04:08,792 --> 00:04:10,542
Tippy! Tippy!
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00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:14,291
-What happened?
-Mommy fainted.
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00:04:14,375 --> 00:04:16,583
Gosh, are you all right,
Mrs. Humphrey?
66
00:04:16,667 --> 00:04:17,583
Yeah, I--
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00:04:17,667 --> 00:04:19,917
She'll be fine.
Can I ask you a question?
68
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,709
Are you from the Schenectady
Dawsons, railroad money?
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00:04:22,792 --> 00:04:24,875
-Hmm?
-Uh, no.
70
00:04:24,959 --> 00:04:27,750
The Detroit Dawsons.
Sewing machine rental money.
71
00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:33,291
-There's gonna be an egg.
Where's the kitchen?
-Oh, to the left!
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00:04:33,375 --> 00:04:36,250
-Are you all right, Mommy?
-Yes, yes, I'm fine.
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00:04:36,333 --> 00:04:38,750
I don't know
what came over me. Oh!
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00:04:38,834 --> 00:04:40,709
Sewing machine
rental money?
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00:04:40,792 --> 00:04:43,542
My God, he's a nerd!
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00:04:43,625 --> 00:04:45,291
(all gasp)
77
00:04:45,375 --> 00:04:48,041
A nerd?
How can you tell?
78
00:04:48,125 --> 00:04:50,750
There were a lot
of nerds at USC.
79
00:04:50,834 --> 00:04:53,959
I can smell a nerd
a mile away.
80
00:04:54,041 --> 00:04:57,291
Well, I've heard nerds
make wonderful husbands.
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00:04:57,375 --> 00:05:00,834
And they're smart too.
82
00:05:00,917 --> 00:05:03,750
She's obviously getting
even with us for something.
83
00:05:06,417 --> 00:05:08,750
-Beef! We need beef!
-In there!
84
00:05:11,917 --> 00:05:14,333
That was kind of a rocky start
with your family.
85
00:05:14,417 --> 00:05:16,458
Oh, everything's fine.
My mom's great.
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00:05:16,542 --> 00:05:18,583
I'm sure
she's just overwhelmed
from all the excitement.
87
00:05:18,667 --> 00:05:21,834
-Well then, you don't think it's
because they don't like me?
-Booger, I love you.
88
00:05:21,917 --> 00:05:26,166
Well, yeah, I know you--
I got it! I know you do.
89
00:05:26,250 --> 00:05:29,458
But I was just afraid
maybe your "mishpukin'" was
thinking you were "mistookin'."
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00:05:29,542 --> 00:05:32,083
They're gonna love you too,
Booger. I know they will.
91
00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:34,500
-(exhales)
-Oh!
92
00:05:34,583 --> 00:05:37,458
Here you go, Mrs. Humphrey.
Put this on the--Hey!
93
00:05:37,542 --> 00:05:40,125
-Oh!
-(gasps)
94
00:05:40,208 --> 00:05:43,333
BOOGER: Don't move. Don't move.
Excuse me. That was clumsy.
95
00:05:43,417 --> 00:05:47,834
-Ahh...
-There we go. I've got it.
96
00:05:47,917 --> 00:05:50,333
Can I speak to you
a second, Jeanie?
97
00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:52,041
Sure.
98
00:05:56,083 --> 00:05:58,834
Thank you, dear.
99
00:05:58,917 --> 00:06:01,041
It stops the swelling.
100
00:06:06,250 --> 00:06:07,500
Are you pregnant?
101
00:06:07,583 --> 00:06:10,041
Pregnant? No!
102
00:06:10,750 --> 00:06:12,917
You mean, you don't
have to marry him?
103
00:06:13,125 --> 00:06:14,083
Daddy!
104
00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:18,000
I would like you to come with
me to a cult deprogrammer.
105
00:06:18,291 --> 00:06:21,667
J-J-J-Just show up there and
be open. That's all I ask.
106
00:06:23,125 --> 00:06:25,041
I just can't believe
you're saying this.
107
00:06:25,125 --> 00:06:26,208
(whimpers)
108
00:06:26,291 --> 00:06:28,583
Wh-wh-where are you going?
109
00:06:28,667 --> 00:06:30,917
This is good stuff
I'm telling you.
110
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,917
(sobbing)
I love Booger!
111
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:38,250
And I'm gonna marry him
no matter what you think!
(sobbing)
112
00:06:38,333 --> 00:06:39,917
Jeanie?
113
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,709
-Sweetheart,
you're overreacting.
-(door slams)
114
00:06:42,792 --> 00:06:45,500
-What did you say to her?
-Nothing.
115
00:06:45,583 --> 00:06:48,125
Nothing. We just had a little
conversation, that's all.
116
00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:52,250
Ahh...
Can't we all just get along?
117
00:06:52,333 --> 00:06:55,875
She comes home with a guy
who looks like he came
out of a vending machine,
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00:06:55,959 --> 00:06:58,875
-and I'm the one who's wrong.
-TIPPY: Jeanie. Jeanie.
119
00:07:02,333 --> 00:07:04,500
What a world.
120
00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:06,959
Hey!
121
00:07:08,291 --> 00:07:10,625
Hi. I'm Jeanie's sister,
Gaylord.
122
00:07:10,709 --> 00:07:13,792
And this is my husband, Chip.
Chip Medford.
123
00:07:13,875 --> 00:07:17,125
Great idea. Having the wedding
on Valentine's Day. (laughs)
124
00:07:25,208 --> 00:07:28,250
Are you sure your best man
knows where we are located?
125
00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:30,875
Oh, he'll find it
all right.
126
00:07:32,375 --> 00:07:35,291
As a matter of fact,
he will be here in exactly
127
00:07:35,375 --> 00:07:37,291
seven seconds.
128
00:07:37,375 --> 00:07:40,458
Five, four,
129
00:07:40,542 --> 00:07:43,709
three, two, one.
130
00:07:46,542 --> 00:07:50,333
Right on the button.
Lewis!
131
00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:53,125
Booger!
132
00:07:53,208 --> 00:07:55,333
Pull in here!
133
00:07:55,417 --> 00:07:58,542
(honks horn)
134
00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:06,709
(hydraulics brakes hissing)
135
00:08:09,166 --> 00:08:13,083
(both laughing)
136
00:08:13,166 --> 00:08:16,625
-Oh, Booger's wedding.
-Yeah!
137
00:08:16,709 --> 00:08:19,750
-(singsong)
♪ Booger's gettin' married ♪
-Oh, come on. Stop it!
138
00:08:19,834 --> 00:08:21,834
Hey, what do you think
of the truck?
139
00:08:21,917 --> 00:08:24,291
Well... well, I would expect
nothing else from the king of
the nerds.
140
00:08:24,375 --> 00:08:26,166
-It's got everything.
-Where's Betty?
141
00:08:26,250 --> 00:08:28,792
Oh, follow me.
142
00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:30,709
Would you like to see
my unborn fetal son?
143
00:08:30,792 --> 00:08:34,000
-Yeah.
-This is a state-of-the-art,
remote-activated,
144
00:08:34,083 --> 00:08:37,500
microwave-transmitted,
bilingual, five DB-gain,
145
00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:40,625
semi-duplex fetal monitor.
146
00:08:40,709 --> 00:08:43,667
I can check on the development,
the vital signs of my unborn
147
00:08:43,750 --> 00:08:46,375
fetal son from anywhere in
the universe.
148
00:08:46,458 --> 00:08:48,166
(laughs) Look.
149
00:08:48,250 --> 00:08:50,166
There's his tinkler.
150
00:08:50,250 --> 00:08:52,875
Just like the old man, huh?
151
00:08:52,959 --> 00:08:55,250
(both guffawing)
152
00:09:03,667 --> 00:09:07,041
-Booger!
-Betty!
153
00:09:07,125 --> 00:09:11,667
-What is this?
-An Airbus A300 WhisperJet
154
00:09:11,750 --> 00:09:16,375
could land right on our truck,
and Betty and our unborn fetal
son wouldn't even be hurt.
155
00:09:16,458 --> 00:09:18,667
-Lewis?
-Hmm?
156
00:09:18,750 --> 00:09:21,041
Could you let me
out of here?
157
00:09:21,125 --> 00:09:23,834
-Oh, sure, Betty.
-Here. Let me give you a hand.
158
00:09:23,917 --> 00:09:25,750
-Thank you.
-(hisses)
159
00:09:25,834 --> 00:09:27,917
(all laughing)
160
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,583
Hey, so, Booger, how are
things going with the in-laws?
161
00:09:30,667 --> 00:09:33,208
Well, things
were going okay,
162
00:09:33,291 --> 00:09:35,709
until my mother-in-law
passed out and cracked her head
on the coffee table.
163
00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:36,875
BOTH: Oh.
164
00:09:36,959 --> 00:09:40,291
And I don't think my
father-in-law likes me at all.
165
00:09:40,625 --> 00:09:41,542
BOTH: Oh.
166
00:09:41,625 --> 00:09:43,709
He's one of
those pretentious,
167
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,834
hoity-toity,
nouveau riche types.
168
00:09:47,709 --> 00:09:50,041
-He may be anti-nerd.
-(both gasp)
169
00:09:50,125 --> 00:09:52,750
Oh, no.
170
00:09:52,834 --> 00:09:55,250
Why does this always have
to poke its ugly head out?
171
00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:58,750
Indeed. We need to nip
this in the bud.
172
00:09:58,834 --> 00:10:03,417
Booger, I want you to know
I take my job as best man
very seriously.
173
00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:06,875
And I will take care
of everything, including
Jeanie's old man.
174
00:10:06,959 --> 00:10:09,792
Never fear,
Skolnick's here.
175
00:10:09,875 --> 00:10:12,375
-I love you, you big galoot.
-(laughs)
176
00:10:12,458 --> 00:10:15,083
(laughs)
I feel better already.
177
00:10:15,166 --> 00:10:18,208
-(horn honks)
-Hey, here comes the gang.
178
00:10:18,291 --> 00:10:21,750
- ♪ Take one down
pass it around ♪
-Hey, guys!
179
00:10:21,834 --> 00:10:24,583
♪ No bottles of beer
on the wall ♪
180
00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:28,375
(whooping, chattering)
181
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,834
-Lamar!
-Party, party, party!
182
00:10:35,917 --> 00:10:37,166
Booger!
183
00:10:37,250 --> 00:10:39,625
(laughing)
184
00:10:39,709 --> 00:10:42,792
-(camera shutter clicks)
-Nerds are here!
185
00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:45,041
-Takashi!
-Booger!
186
00:10:47,250 --> 00:10:50,125
-Lewis! Hi, Lewis.
-Takash, how are you?
Good to see you.
187
00:10:50,208 --> 00:10:53,333
Oh, Betty! Oh, ho, ho!
Betty so big.
188
00:10:53,417 --> 00:10:56,583
-(laughs)
-Oh, look at you!
189
00:10:56,667 --> 00:10:59,792
-Oh, Judy!
-Uncle Lewis!
190
00:10:59,875 --> 00:11:02,750
-Harold! Good trip?
-Ah, ho, it was great.
191
00:11:02,834 --> 00:11:05,792
You know, the bus driver said
we were the first group ever
192
00:11:05,875 --> 00:11:08,500
to make it all the way through
"A Hundred Bottles of Beer
on the Wall?"
193
00:11:08,583 --> 00:11:11,333
-(laughing)
-BOOGER: Yes! Hey!
194
00:11:11,417 --> 00:11:14,667
It's been delightful
motoring with you.
195
00:11:14,750 --> 00:11:17,500
Trevor, how was the trip?
196
00:11:17,583 --> 00:11:19,625
I only got
carsick twice.
197
00:11:19,709 --> 00:11:22,208
Oh, ho, ho, ho!
I'm proud of you, laddie.
198
00:11:22,291 --> 00:11:24,041
(both speaking Spanish)
199
00:11:27,291 --> 00:11:29,542
I am--I am just so thrilled
you all showed up.
200
00:11:31,542 --> 00:11:34,458
-BOTH: Stan!
-Hi, guys.
201
00:11:34,542 --> 00:11:37,375
-Stan! (laughs)
-Booger!
202
00:11:37,458 --> 00:11:40,041
-Great to see you.
-You too.
203
00:11:40,125 --> 00:11:42,250
Oh, Betty, you're gonna make
such a pretty mom.
204
00:11:44,041 --> 00:11:46,125
Stan, you are such a nerd.
205
00:11:46,208 --> 00:11:49,375
Yeah, I sure am. I'm selling
software up in Silicon Valley.
206
00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:51,583
-Ah, that's fantastic.
-Yeah, I've never been happier
in my whole life.
207
00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:53,458
(both guffawing)
208
00:11:55,125 --> 00:11:58,041
(chanting)
209
00:11:58,125 --> 00:12:01,250
Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!
Nerds! Nerds!
210
00:12:01,333 --> 00:12:03,375
-Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!
-(moans)
211
00:12:03,458 --> 00:12:06,083
Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!
Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!
212
00:12:06,166 --> 00:12:08,166
Nerds! Nerds...Nerds.
213
00:12:10,166 --> 00:12:14,000
Hey, it looks like
you're breaking out.
214
00:12:14,083 --> 00:12:16,792
What are you talking about? I've
always had a perfect complexion.
215
00:12:18,083 --> 00:12:19,959
I think you've got
the chicken pox.
216
00:12:27,792 --> 00:12:29,542
Easy on the sauce, Aaron.
217
00:12:29,625 --> 00:12:31,750
You don't think I'm gonna
go through this sober?
218
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:34,417
Come on. Relax.
It's not as bad as all that.
219
00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:36,959
What is this dog hair doing
here? We don't have a dog.
220
00:12:37,041 --> 00:12:38,083
ROMEO: Excuse me.
221
00:12:38,166 --> 00:12:40,542
Uh, do you prefer the
salad forks to be chilled,
222
00:12:40,625 --> 00:12:42,709
or the salad plates
or both?
223
00:12:42,792 --> 00:12:45,375
-Well, I--
-Figure it out.
224
00:12:45,458 --> 00:12:47,792
-Aaron!
-Oh, I never.
225
00:12:47,875 --> 00:12:52,125
I cannot work in a vacuum.
I need input. I need feedback.
226
00:12:52,208 --> 00:12:54,583
-Romeo! Romeo!
-(mumbling)
227
00:12:54,667 --> 00:12:57,458
This is so unfair.
228
00:12:57,542 --> 00:13:00,250
No one told me that I would be
catering a wedding for a bunch
229
00:13:00,333 --> 00:13:01,709
of nerds.
230
00:13:01,792 --> 00:13:04,250
Romeo, don't leave, please.
Please, no, no!
231
00:13:04,333 --> 00:13:07,000
-MAN: Eugene! Eugene!
-(horn honks)
232
00:13:15,375 --> 00:13:17,083
(mouthing words)
233
00:13:18,875 --> 00:13:21,542
Well, it looks as though the
happy event is about to begin.
234
00:13:22,875 --> 00:13:25,667
I worked hard
my whole life.
235
00:13:25,750 --> 00:13:31,208
I started out at 13
selling cheap porcelain
knickknacks door-to-door.
236
00:13:31,709 --> 00:13:33,583
You know how hard that is?
237
00:13:34,208 --> 00:13:36,125
After she marries
that nose-picking "jibony,"
238
00:13:36,208 --> 00:13:38,333
I can kiss my political
career good-bye.
239
00:13:39,041 --> 00:13:40,792
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
240
00:13:40,875 --> 00:13:44,041
And you can kiss taking over
Humphrey Industries good-bye.
241
00:13:46,375 --> 00:13:50,166
LEWIS: Yeah, I know. Maybe he'll
let you guys live here. You'll
have your own computer room.
242
00:13:51,041 --> 00:13:54,083
You know, there's two days
before the wedding.
243
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:57,291
-A lot of things could happen.
-Like what?
244
00:13:57,375 --> 00:14:00,875
Engagements get canceled all the
time for all sorts of reasons.
245
00:14:00,959 --> 00:14:03,000
You mean break up
the wedding?
246
00:14:03,083 --> 00:14:05,834
We all want what's best
for the family.
247
00:14:05,917 --> 00:14:08,500
Break up
my daughter's wedding?
248
00:14:08,583 --> 00:14:11,291
Don't even think about it.
You-you got a nasty mind, Chip.
249
00:14:11,375 --> 00:14:13,834
I hate when you have a nasty
mind. Break up my daughter's
wedding.
250
00:14:13,917 --> 00:14:15,750
Geez.
251
00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:23,000
In addition to ruining any
chance of a political career,
252
00:14:23,083 --> 00:14:24,834
think for one minute...
253
00:14:24,917 --> 00:14:27,583
what this will do
to the family tree.
254
00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:44,750
You can pick your friends,
you can pick your nose,
255
00:14:44,834 --> 00:14:47,333
but you can't pick
your relatives.
256
00:14:52,166 --> 00:14:54,166
Do whatever
you have to do.
257
00:14:58,834 --> 00:15:02,750
♪♪
258
00:15:05,750 --> 00:15:07,542
Smile pretty.
Smile pretty.
259
00:15:07,625 --> 00:15:10,166
-(camera clicks)
-Thank you.
260
00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:12,709
Name tags.
Name tags, anyone?
261
00:15:12,792 --> 00:15:15,041
TAKASHI: Right there. Right
there, a picture.
262
00:15:15,125 --> 00:15:16,417
-Excuse me.
-(camera clicks)
263
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:18,917
Would you like a
"Hello. My name is" tag?
264
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,083
How nerdy can you get?
265
00:15:21,166 --> 00:15:24,750
Lois, what on earth
are all these nerds
doing here?
266
00:15:24,834 --> 00:15:26,917
They're Booger's friends.
267
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:30,417
(scoffs)
Well, Aaron and Tippy
must just be sick.
268
00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:32,834
Oh, Tippy seems okay,
but it's killing my brother.
269
00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:37,583
Daddy.
270
00:15:37,667 --> 00:15:39,500
Hi. Lewis Skolnick,
best man.
271
00:15:41,166 --> 00:15:44,709
-Figures.
-Booger is just crazy
about your daughter.
272
00:15:44,792 --> 00:15:47,792
He's gonna make a wonderful
husband, and that's all
that really matters.
273
00:15:47,875 --> 00:15:49,917
-Right.
-Y'know, once you get
to know Booger,
274
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,583
-you'll be very happy
with what you see.
-(slurping)
275
00:15:52,667 --> 00:15:55,625
I'll be very happy
when I get away from you.
276
00:15:55,709 --> 00:15:58,792
(guffawing)
277
00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:01,417
MAN: Aaron, my dear man,
I'm so sorry.
278
00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:04,792
(chattering continues)
279
00:16:04,875 --> 00:16:06,834
You know, Booger,
280
00:16:06,917 --> 00:16:09,500
I do sense a bit of friction
with your future father-in-law.
281
00:16:09,583 --> 00:16:11,583
-Friction?
-Mm-hmm.
282
00:16:11,667 --> 00:16:13,417
He hates my guts.
283
00:16:15,333 --> 00:16:16,333
Say hi to Stan.
284
00:16:16,417 --> 00:16:18,250
-(radio clicks)
-Stan, this is Lewis. Come in.
285
00:16:18,333 --> 00:16:20,667
I read you.
I read you, Lewis. Over.
286
00:16:20,750 --> 00:16:23,917
Yeah, I just wanted to see
how you're feeling, man.
287
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:27,166
Oh, pretty good.
Just such a bummer
I got the chicken pox.
288
00:16:27,250 --> 00:16:30,792
Y'know, I guess I was just too
cool to get them as a kid.
(laughs)
289
00:16:30,875 --> 00:16:34,166
Well, you know, sometimes we
just have to play the cards
we're dealt with.
290
00:16:34,250 --> 00:16:38,500
Yeah. You're always
so perceptive, Lewis.
I wish I could be like you.
291
00:16:38,583 --> 00:16:40,542
Give it time, Stan.
Over and out.
292
00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:44,583
(slurping)
293
00:16:44,667 --> 00:16:48,166
Excuse me, Mr. Lewis,
Mr. Booger.
294
00:16:48,250 --> 00:16:50,875
Why is that buttocks squished
up against the window
295
00:16:50,959 --> 00:16:53,166
-like a pressed Devonshire ham?
-(screams)
296
00:16:53,250 --> 00:16:54,250
Ogre!
297
00:16:57,583 --> 00:17:00,208
-Lewey!
-Ogre! How are you?
298
00:17:00,291 --> 00:17:02,375
-How you doing? See it?
-Yeah, I saw it.
299
00:17:02,458 --> 00:17:04,625
-That's Ogre.
-Oh.
300
00:17:04,709 --> 00:17:08,333
-Ogre! Ahhh...!
-Little buddy! How you doing?
301
00:17:08,417 --> 00:17:11,166
(chanting)
302
00:17:11,250 --> 00:17:15,667
Ogre! Ogre! Ogre!
Ogre! Ogre!
303
00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:18,333
This is the worst party we've
ever been to. Good night.
304
00:17:18,417 --> 00:17:21,917
This was unbelievable. Thank
God my daughter's a lesbian.
305
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:26,083
-Ogre! Ogre!
-Hey, did you see my buns?
306
00:17:26,166 --> 00:17:29,166
-Uh-oh.
-What? Who is it?
307
00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:33,208
-Mylan Whitfield.
-Huh?
308
00:17:33,291 --> 00:17:35,291
The chairman
of the Republican party.
309
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:42,208
Nice of you to come, Mylan.
Could I get you a drink?
310
00:17:42,291 --> 00:17:44,875
The strongest one
you've got.
311
00:17:44,959 --> 00:17:48,625
(belching)
312
00:17:51,125 --> 00:17:54,125
(belching continues)
313
00:17:58,458 --> 00:18:02,083
-I think this is a record.
-(continues belching)
314
00:18:02,166 --> 00:18:04,625
-(all laughing)
-OGRE: Still the world's champ.
315
00:18:06,166 --> 00:18:08,583
-I drink to that.
-Heyyy...
316
00:18:08,667 --> 00:18:11,792
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
317
00:18:11,875 --> 00:18:14,417
That's your future
son-in-law.
318
00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:17,667
And now
a very special treat.
319
00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:24,083
-My fiancée's turn.
-Oh.
320
00:18:24,166 --> 00:18:28,417
Oh, no, Jeanie, please. Don't,
don't, don't do it, please.
Please, don't, please.
321
00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:30,709
Okay. Okay.
322
00:18:32,792 --> 00:18:34,542
Don't do it, please.
Don't do it.
323
00:18:34,625 --> 00:18:37,667
(gulps, belches)
324
00:18:43,959 --> 00:18:48,083
-She's doing a good job.
-(mumbling, belches)
325
00:18:48,166 --> 00:18:50,417
Booger must be so proud.
326
00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:53,125
-(belching)
-(applause)
327
00:18:53,208 --> 00:18:55,000
Wow!
Can you believe it?
328
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:01,417
-Whoo!
-She's got the croup.
329
00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:07,250
My Jeanie, she can belch
with the best of them.
330
00:19:10,709 --> 00:19:12,333
Hey, your sorority sisters
are here.
331
00:19:12,417 --> 00:19:14,458
OGRE: It's the Omega Mu's.
332
00:19:14,542 --> 00:19:17,709
(all mooing)
333
00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:25,083
They're all voters, Mylan.
334
00:19:25,166 --> 00:19:27,625
Booger! Booger! Booger!
335
00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:30,667
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
336
00:19:30,750 --> 00:19:31,667
(mic feedback)
337
00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:34,208
Why are they always chanting?
338
00:19:35,083 --> 00:19:39,333
You see, the younger
generation today, they--they--
339
00:19:39,417 --> 00:19:41,709
I think
it's kind of fun.
340
00:19:41,792 --> 00:19:43,250
You're wearing
two different socks.
341
00:19:45,208 --> 00:19:47,834
BOOGER: Well, (clears throat)
I wanna welcome you all
to the wedding
342
00:19:47,917 --> 00:19:50,000
that none of us
ever thought would happen.
343
00:19:50,083 --> 00:19:54,125
-(all cheering)
-I guess hell must have
frozen over after all.
344
00:19:54,208 --> 00:19:56,709
(all laughing)
345
00:19:56,792 --> 00:19:58,250
Come on now.
346
00:20:00,041 --> 00:20:02,166
-♪♪ (rim shot)
-Boom!
347
00:20:02,250 --> 00:20:05,959
But, Jeanie,
you don't know about this,
348
00:20:06,041 --> 00:20:09,542
but I'm going to sing
a little song for you.
349
00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:14,458
It's something that I think
of whenever I think of you.
350
00:20:14,959 --> 00:20:17,000
-WOMAN: Awww.
-WOMAN #2: So romantic.
351
00:20:20,458 --> 00:20:21,959
MAN: Nice spot light.
352
00:20:23,792 --> 00:20:26,291
♪♪ (keyboard)
353
00:20:28,458 --> 00:20:32,500
♪ Jean, Jean ♪
354
00:20:32,583 --> 00:20:35,291
♪ Roses are red ♪
355
00:20:37,625 --> 00:20:40,333
♪ And all the leaves ♪
356
00:20:40,417 --> 00:20:42,625
♪ Have gone green ♪
357
00:20:44,583 --> 00:20:48,875
♪ And the clouds
are so low ♪
358
00:20:48,959 --> 00:20:52,500
♪ You can touch them
and so ♪
359
00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:57,792
♪ Come on out
to the meadow ♪
360
00:20:57,875 --> 00:21:00,500
♪ Jean ♪
361
00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:06,083
♪ Jean, Jean ♪
362
00:21:06,166 --> 00:21:10,375
♪ You're young and alive ♪
363
00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:17,041
♪ Come out of your half
dreamed dream ♪
364
00:21:17,125 --> 00:21:18,625
Sorry, Aaron. Gotta go.
365
00:21:18,709 --> 00:21:20,250
You will come
to the bridal shower?
366
00:21:20,333 --> 00:21:23,041
No can do.
Important engagement.
367
00:21:23,125 --> 00:21:26,208
♪ If you will
to the top of the hill ♪
368
00:21:26,291 --> 00:21:27,792
I thought you were gonna do
something.
369
00:21:27,875 --> 00:21:28,834
I'm working on it.
370
00:21:28,917 --> 00:21:30,917
I'm gonna start
first thing in the morning.
371
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,625
Start now, doofus.
372
00:21:32,709 --> 00:21:36,583
♪ Bonnie Jean ♪♪
373
00:21:36,667 --> 00:21:38,208
Oh.
374
00:21:39,375 --> 00:21:41,792
♪♪ (piano ends)
375
00:21:41,875 --> 00:21:44,291
(applause)
376
00:21:44,375 --> 00:21:46,458
For those of you
in the audience here
377
00:21:46,542 --> 00:21:50,125
who are blues aficionados,
we have a little, uh--
378
00:21:50,208 --> 00:21:53,125
It's a little bit dissonant,
but I think you'll like it,
379
00:21:53,208 --> 00:21:55,917
'cause with the fluteophones,
it's kind of special.
380
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,709
Flutes up.
381
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:03,125
A-one, a-two,
a-one, two, three.
382
00:22:03,208 --> 00:22:05,583
-WOMAN: Even I can't take this.
Good night.
-♪♪ (playing of key)
383
00:22:12,375 --> 00:22:16,333
♪ Many were the wild notes
her merry voice would pour ♪
384
00:22:16,417 --> 00:22:22,125
♪ Many were the blackbirds
that wobbled them all ♪
385
00:22:22,208 --> 00:22:28,208
TREVOR: ♪ Oh, I dream of Jeanie
with the light brown hair ♪
386
00:22:28,291 --> 00:22:32,166
MAN: ♪ Yo, sexy boy
just think of me ♪
387
00:22:32,250 --> 00:22:35,208
♪ As your love toy
Come wind me up ♪
388
00:22:35,291 --> 00:22:39,083
♪♪ (continues, indistinct)
389
00:22:41,542 --> 00:22:43,458
JEANIE (laughing):
Hi guys!
390
00:22:43,542 --> 00:22:46,125
-LEWIS: Hey!
-BOOGER: (laughing)
391
00:22:46,208 --> 00:22:48,291
-Hey, can I cut in?
-Sure thing.
392
00:22:50,583 --> 00:22:52,583
BOOGER: If I may.
393
00:22:53,583 --> 00:22:58,166
Betty, pregnant women
have always made me boggy.
394
00:22:58,250 --> 00:23:02,041
Oh, Booger.
You're just incorrigible.
395
00:23:02,125 --> 00:23:04,375
-I try to be.
-(laughing)
396
00:23:04,458 --> 00:23:06,250
Excuse me.
397
00:23:06,333 --> 00:23:10,500
I just want you to know
that I'm really happy for you.
398
00:23:10,583 --> 00:23:13,375
Booger lets you
be yourself,
399
00:23:13,458 --> 00:23:17,083
and I really like
what I see.
400
00:23:17,291 --> 00:23:21,041
I can't believe this
is coming out of the mouth
of my perfect sister.
401
00:23:21,125 --> 00:23:25,166
Who knows?
Maybe this wedding has
really brought us together.
402
00:23:27,750 --> 00:23:29,208
I love you, Jeanie.
403
00:23:29,291 --> 00:23:31,375
I love you, Gaylord.
404
00:23:31,458 --> 00:23:34,792
-(sobbing)
-Oh!
405
00:23:37,792 --> 00:23:39,709
Oh, girls.
406
00:23:41,542 --> 00:23:44,709
Once you go nerd,
you'll never go back.
407
00:23:44,792 --> 00:23:47,625
(all laughing)
408
00:23:48,500 --> 00:23:51,500
I would just die
for your cheekbones.
409
00:23:52,166 --> 00:23:53,625
Oh.
410
00:23:58,834 --> 00:24:01,000
Hey, handsome.
411
00:24:03,291 --> 00:24:04,667
Wanna dance?
412
00:24:05,458 --> 00:24:07,291
(exhales)
Sure.
413
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:20,000
BOOGER:
Good show, Harold.
414
00:24:23,208 --> 00:24:25,834
MAN:
♪ I wanna be your sexy boy ♪
415
00:24:25,917 --> 00:24:29,667
♪ Just think of me
as your love toy ♪
416
00:24:29,750 --> 00:24:32,959
♪ Come wind me up
Don't need no keys ♪
417
00:24:33,041 --> 00:24:34,917
♪ Just pull the strings ♪
418
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,792
What a prenuptial party.
419
00:24:37,875 --> 00:24:41,834
Really, so enjoyable. Just
tremendous. (whistles)
420
00:24:41,917 --> 00:24:45,792
♪ I'll bring you joy
I'll make you dance ♪
421
00:24:45,875 --> 00:24:47,792
♪ I'll make you shake
this sexy boy ♪
422
00:24:47,875 --> 00:24:51,291
TIPPY: Jeanie and her friends
are having a good time.
423
00:24:51,375 --> 00:24:54,125
Everybody who's important
is gone.
424
00:24:54,208 --> 00:24:57,792
What an embarrassment.
No, no, no, look.
Your sister's still here.
425
00:24:57,875 --> 00:25:01,125
♪♪ (continues, indistinct)
426
00:25:01,208 --> 00:25:04,542
My sister stays to the end
of supermarket openings.
427
00:25:04,625 --> 00:25:06,959
BOOGER: Hey, Takashi,
whatever happened to Gilbert?
428
00:25:07,041 --> 00:25:08,333
Mrs. Humphrey,
429
00:25:08,417 --> 00:25:09,959
-Yes?
-Can I have this dance?
430
00:25:10,041 --> 00:25:12,959
-Oh, I don't think I could.
-I think you could.
431
00:25:13,041 --> 00:25:15,750
(laughs) There's a
little nerd in everyone.
432
00:25:17,417 --> 00:25:19,542
There's no nerd
in me, pal.
433
00:25:19,625 --> 00:25:23,500
♪ I wanna be your sexy boy ♪
434
00:25:23,583 --> 00:25:27,875
♪ Believe me
I'm the real McCoy ♪
435
00:25:27,959 --> 00:25:30,458
-♪♪ (continues, indistinct)
-(belches)
436
00:25:30,542 --> 00:25:33,375
Yo! Mama-san!
437
00:25:35,250 --> 00:25:38,709
-(kiaiing)
-Lois, wait!
438
00:25:39,750 --> 00:25:41,500
(shuddering)
439
00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:46,917
♪ I wanna be
I wanna be your sexy boy ♪
440
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,458
♪ Your sexy boy ♪
441
00:25:54,625 --> 00:25:56,709
♪ Turn out the lights ♪
442
00:25:56,792 --> 00:25:58,750
TIPPY: Hey, you nerds
really know how to party.
443
00:25:58,834 --> 00:26:01,333
(Lewis guffaws)
444
00:26:01,417 --> 00:26:03,333
BOOGER:
I'm just getting started, baby.
445
00:26:03,417 --> 00:26:06,667
Romeo,
have you seen Chip?
446
00:26:06,750 --> 00:26:10,834
Oh, sure, that's exactly
what I have on my mind,
worrying about where Chip is.
447
00:26:10,917 --> 00:26:14,542
Oh, gee, where could Chip be?
Here, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip.
448
00:26:14,625 --> 00:26:17,250
Here, Chip, Chip, Chip,
Chip, Chip, Chip.
449
00:26:17,333 --> 00:26:19,792
How would you like to lose
about 12 teeth?
450
00:26:20,834 --> 00:26:22,792
Bitch.
451
00:26:29,625 --> 00:26:32,083
CHIP:
I'm looking for dirt, scandal,
452
00:26:32,166 --> 00:26:34,291
some deviant behavior,
453
00:26:34,375 --> 00:26:37,792
a skeleton in a closet
that would be so horrible,
454
00:26:37,875 --> 00:26:40,083
it would break up a wedding.
455
00:26:40,166 --> 00:26:42,208
And money's no object.
456
00:26:42,291 --> 00:26:44,583
-(chair squeaks)
-How did you find me?
457
00:26:44,667 --> 00:26:46,417
Let's just say
through a friend.
458
00:26:46,500 --> 00:26:48,583
And why do you wanna
ruin the wedding?
459
00:26:48,667 --> 00:26:51,417
Well, my father-in-law's
thinking of getting
into politics,
460
00:26:51,500 --> 00:26:53,542
and the groom
would ruin his chances.
461
00:26:53,625 --> 00:26:56,041
And if the father-in-law doesn't
enter the political arena,
462
00:26:56,125 --> 00:26:58,250
you don't take over
the family business.
463
00:26:58,333 --> 00:27:03,000
Yes. Well, I suppose
that would happen, but
that's not my major concern.
464
00:27:04,166 --> 00:27:08,291
-It's nerds, isn't it?
-How did you know that?
465
00:27:08,375 --> 00:27:11,583
-I'm a detective.
-Wow.
466
00:27:11,667 --> 00:27:15,125
I had a case with nerds
a couple months ago.
467
00:27:15,208 --> 00:27:18,625
-They can be very slippery.
-(chair squeaks)
468
00:27:18,709 --> 00:27:20,458
How do I know
you're any good?
469
00:27:20,542 --> 00:27:22,792
(sighs) You know the dirt
on the royal family?
470
00:27:22,875 --> 00:27:24,375
You?
471
00:27:25,583 --> 00:27:27,792
(laughs)
Well, let's do business.
472
00:27:27,875 --> 00:27:29,542
-(chair squeaks)
-All right.
473
00:27:33,750 --> 00:27:36,333
-What's the groom's name?
-Uh, Dudley Dawson.
474
00:27:36,417 --> 00:27:38,709
But his friends
call him "Booger."
475
00:27:40,250 --> 00:27:43,250
-Well, that's the first thing
in our favor.
-What-what's that?
476
00:27:43,333 --> 00:27:48,417
With a name like Booger,
it shouldn't be too hard
to get dirt on him. Right?
477
00:27:49,750 --> 00:27:51,542
TREVOR:
Good night, Mr. Ogre.
478
00:27:53,750 --> 00:27:55,709
OGRE:
Good night, Trevor.
479
00:27:55,792 --> 00:27:57,959
TAKASHI:
Good night, Lamar.
480
00:27:58,041 --> 00:28:00,333
-STAN: Good night, Judy.
-JUDY: Good night, Stan.
481
00:28:00,417 --> 00:28:02,542
LAMAR:
Good night, Takashi.
482
00:28:04,458 --> 00:28:05,834
(toenail clangs in can)
483
00:28:05,917 --> 00:28:08,333
-Betty.
-Hmm?
484
00:28:08,417 --> 00:28:11,333
Why can't we videotape
the birth?
485
00:28:11,417 --> 00:28:14,667
I just don't want the whole
world to see my privates.
486
00:28:14,750 --> 00:28:17,166
But I've already bought
a high-definition,
487
00:28:17,250 --> 00:28:19,542
Dolby stereo,
3-D helmet cam.
488
00:28:21,208 --> 00:28:23,834
You know you'll show
the video to someone.
489
00:28:23,917 --> 00:28:27,333
I'm really surprised
at you, Betty.
490
00:28:27,417 --> 00:28:30,667
Not having the confidence
to think that I wouldn't show
the video to someone.
491
00:28:30,750 --> 00:28:32,625
(sighs)
492
00:28:34,959 --> 00:28:36,625
-Maybe I would.
-(toenails clanging)
493
00:28:37,959 --> 00:28:40,542
-I probably would.
-Hmm.
494
00:28:40,625 --> 00:28:43,875
I definitely would,
but it's only because
no one is prouder than I am
495
00:28:43,959 --> 00:28:46,542
of our unborn fetal son.
496
00:28:46,625 --> 00:28:48,583
And your privates.
(guffaws)
497
00:28:48,667 --> 00:28:52,041
Lewis Tarada Skolnick!
498
00:28:52,125 --> 00:28:54,041
Ow! Betty,
I was only kidding.
499
00:28:54,125 --> 00:28:56,667
-Ow!
-Are you all right, honey?
500
00:28:56,750 --> 00:28:59,792
I'm fine. I just have
a little side ache. Ohhh...
501
00:29:03,291 --> 00:29:05,709
You are so wonderful.
502
00:29:05,792 --> 00:29:08,041
I bet I'm the only woman
in America
503
00:29:08,125 --> 00:29:11,709
to have a certified midwife
as a husband.
504
00:29:11,792 --> 00:29:16,083
That's because I don't want
anybody but me delivering
our unborn baby son.
505
00:29:16,166 --> 00:29:18,750
-(giggles)
-Hey, Betty.
506
00:29:18,834 --> 00:29:21,583
-Hmm?
-Would you like to have
some pickles and ice cream?
507
00:29:21,667 --> 00:29:23,458
Pickles, ice cream.
Pickles, ice cream.
508
00:29:23,542 --> 00:29:25,750
I would love
some pickles and ice cream.
509
00:29:25,834 --> 00:29:28,500
-Oh, yea, Mama.
-I'll be right back.
510
00:29:30,834 --> 00:29:33,917
Oh, honey, I don't want you
to go now. It's after 3:00.
511
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:36,792
If my unborn fetal son
and my beloved wife
512
00:29:36,875 --> 00:29:39,375
want pickles and ice cream,
I don't care what time it is.
513
00:29:39,458 --> 00:29:41,750
-(giggles)
-Eskimo kiss?
514
00:29:41,834 --> 00:29:43,917
-Butterfly.
-Eskimo.
515
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:47,166
-Butterfly. Butterfly.
-Eskimo. Eskimo.
516
00:29:50,166 --> 00:29:52,750
I love you, you big nerd.
517
00:29:52,834 --> 00:29:56,875
I know you are, but
what am I? (guffaws)
518
00:29:59,542 --> 00:30:02,625
-Booger.
-Hey, Lewis. Where you going?
519
00:30:02,709 --> 00:30:05,000
Oh, I was just gonna
take a cruise
in the party truck
520
00:30:05,083 --> 00:30:06,959
and get Betty
some pickles and ice cream.
521
00:30:07,041 --> 00:30:10,750
-You're gonna make
the best father.
-You really think so?
522
00:30:11,709 --> 00:30:13,667
I know so.
523
00:30:14,500 --> 00:30:15,834
Hey, you wanna come with?
524
00:30:16,667 --> 00:30:18,041
No.
525
00:30:20,083 --> 00:30:22,834
-Are you feeling
all right, Booger?
-Lewis...
526
00:30:23,375 --> 00:30:25,125
I'm gonna say
something to you
527
00:30:25,208 --> 00:30:27,542
that I would never tell
anybody else in the world.
528
00:30:32,917 --> 00:30:34,834
I'm a little scared.
529
00:30:34,917 --> 00:30:36,917
Scared? You?
530
00:30:38,750 --> 00:30:40,583
Well, what are you
scared about, Booger?
531
00:30:42,959 --> 00:30:46,834
I've been single
a long time, Lewis.
532
00:30:46,917 --> 00:30:50,250
I've enjoyed a lot of Mu's.
533
00:30:50,875 --> 00:30:52,375
My life has been blessed.
534
00:30:52,458 --> 00:30:55,959
(chuckles)
And they've enjoyed
you too, pal. (laughs)
535
00:30:56,041 --> 00:30:58,125
Now I'm hanging it all up.
536
00:30:59,375 --> 00:31:04,458
But what happens
if I run into a woman
who really curdles my blood?
537
00:31:04,542 --> 00:31:07,333
'Cause you know me, Lewis.
You know how it is.
538
00:31:07,417 --> 00:31:11,542
Our eyes meet
across a crowded room,
and bammo.
539
00:31:12,542 --> 00:31:15,000
We're talkin' "nutso" time.
540
00:31:15,083 --> 00:31:19,041
Bananas. We're talking
out of my brains,
541
00:31:19,125 --> 00:31:22,250
can't control the faculties,
the mind follows
the genitals time.
542
00:31:22,333 --> 00:31:24,375
Because that's
what happens, Lewis,
543
00:31:24,458 --> 00:31:29,375
anytime I meet a woman
who really makes me
wanna take a bath.
544
00:31:29,458 --> 00:31:33,709
Well, I have manly urges too,
Booger, I mean, like any other
red-blooded American male.
545
00:31:33,792 --> 00:31:36,709
Well, of course you do.
How do you handle it?
546
00:31:36,792 --> 00:31:39,250
I just think of Betty
or computers.
547
00:31:39,333 --> 00:31:43,000
No, see, not me.
(exhales)
548
00:31:44,792 --> 00:31:49,083
I'm like a train wreck
on the Long Island Railroad.
549
00:31:49,166 --> 00:31:54,583
I may see trouble down
the tracks, but this trainman
can't pull the switch.
550
00:31:54,667 --> 00:31:57,083
Well, nobody likes to party
more than I do, Booger.
551
00:31:57,166 --> 00:31:59,750
Except for maybe you.
552
00:31:59,834 --> 00:32:04,125
But my life got so much better
since I married Betty.
And yours is going to too,
553
00:32:04,208 --> 00:32:06,750
provided you're ready
to compromise
554
00:32:06,834 --> 00:32:10,083
and work hard, incredibly hard,
on your impending union
with Jean.
555
00:32:10,166 --> 00:32:12,542
-You have to work
really hard, huh?
-Uh huh.
556
00:32:12,625 --> 00:32:14,542
I mean, it's not any harder
than, say,
557
00:32:14,625 --> 00:32:16,083
designing cornering velocities
for the Japanese Bullet Train.
558
00:32:16,166 --> 00:32:20,792
But you should get some sleep.
I mean, tomorrow is a
huge day for you.
559
00:32:20,875 --> 00:32:24,750
You got the all-you-can-eat nerd
bridal shower at the Rump Roast
Room at noon.
560
00:32:24,834 --> 00:32:28,875
And then there's
my surprise theme bachelor
stag party at night.
561
00:32:28,959 --> 00:32:30,875
You forgot about that,
didn't you?
562
00:32:31,959 --> 00:32:33,917
You're gonna nail me,
aren't you?
563
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:37,208
You're darn tootin'.
See ya, Booger.
564
00:32:37,291 --> 00:32:40,041
-Hey, Lewis.
-Yeah?
565
00:32:41,583 --> 00:32:43,041
Thanks.
566
00:32:45,417 --> 00:32:47,250
I love you, Booger.
567
00:32:48,667 --> 00:32:50,542
I love you too.
568
00:32:57,542 --> 00:33:00,583
♪♪
569
00:33:12,417 --> 00:33:14,625
Bibs, anyone?
570
00:33:14,709 --> 00:33:16,500
LEWIS:
Don't be bashful.
It's all you can eat.
571
00:33:16,583 --> 00:33:20,625
So, uh, Russia's in,
you know, bad shape.
572
00:33:20,709 --> 00:33:23,709
Decentralization of the
economy and the privatization
of industry,
573
00:33:23,792 --> 00:33:26,166
while, you know, leading
to these personal freedoms,
574
00:33:26,250 --> 00:33:28,500
it's cost
some great hardships.
575
00:33:28,583 --> 00:33:32,709
That's why I, Ogre,
I think I'm gonna go over there
and see if I can help them out.
576
00:33:32,792 --> 00:33:35,083
You know what I mean?
That's no good.
577
00:33:37,959 --> 00:33:40,709
(laughing)
578
00:33:40,792 --> 00:33:42,959
(gasps)
579
00:33:43,041 --> 00:33:46,333
-What the--
-Say "cheese."
580
00:33:46,417 --> 00:33:50,250
-BOTH: Cheese.
-TAKASHI: Okay, now
stay there, stay there.
581
00:33:52,083 --> 00:33:56,291
-Lewis to Stan, Lewis to Stan.
Come in, Stan.
-I read you Lewis. Over.
582
00:33:56,375 --> 00:33:59,333
Uh, listen.
This is your 2:00 pox report.
How-how you feeling, Stan?
583
00:33:59,417 --> 00:34:02,291
Much better now,
thanks to Judy.
584
00:34:02,375 --> 00:34:05,333
If you don't take care of
the pox, they can scab
and leave scars.
585
00:34:05,417 --> 00:34:07,875
-Over and out.
-Honey.
586
00:34:07,959 --> 00:34:11,208
-Hmm?
-What's Trevor Gulf doing?
587
00:34:11,291 --> 00:34:13,875
I-I think
he's mooning us.
588
00:34:13,959 --> 00:34:15,834
That's not a moon.
That's the San Joaquin Valley.
589
00:34:15,917 --> 00:34:20,041
-Trevor, no!
-Oh, big smile.
590
00:34:20,125 --> 00:34:23,917
Trevor, come on.
It isn't nice to moon.
591
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:27,333
-Oh, it isn't?
-No, it isn't.
592
00:34:27,417 --> 00:34:30,834
-Mr. Ogre mooned.
-Well, you see, Trevor,
593
00:34:30,917 --> 00:34:33,875
Mr. Ogre's
a converted nerd, okay?
594
00:34:33,959 --> 00:34:37,875
He used to be a jock.
He's still a little rough
around the edges.
595
00:34:37,959 --> 00:34:40,458
Jacques?
Is he from France?
596
00:34:42,917 --> 00:34:45,375
(guffaws)
597
00:34:45,458 --> 00:34:49,291
-My condolences, Aaron.
-You gotta take
the good with the bad.
598
00:34:49,375 --> 00:34:52,333
-Sorry, Aaron.
-Hey, if it's not one thing,
it's another.
599
00:34:53,500 --> 00:34:55,750
Mylan, thank you
for coming.
600
00:34:55,834 --> 00:34:57,792
Thank you for sending
the limo for me.
601
00:34:57,875 --> 00:35:00,625
Thank you for sending
the bauble to my secretary.
602
00:35:00,709 --> 00:35:03,792
And the entire
party thanks you
for sending the check.
603
00:35:03,875 --> 00:35:06,583
-Just being
a good Republican, Mylan.
-Hmm, hmm...
604
00:35:06,667 --> 00:35:08,500
Come along, dear.
605
00:35:09,709 --> 00:35:11,792
Nice seeing you again, Flo.
606
00:35:15,333 --> 00:35:18,583
-I've done a little homework
on Dudley "Booger" Dawson.
-Oh, yeah?
607
00:35:18,667 --> 00:35:20,917
-He's an attorney all right.
-Well, that's good.
608
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:23,041
A personal injury
attorney.
609
00:35:23,834 --> 00:35:25,792
He's an ambulance chaser?
610
00:35:26,834 --> 00:35:28,667
It just gets worse.
611
00:35:29,834 --> 00:35:33,166
-Well, it'll all be over soon.
-What are you gonna do?
612
00:35:33,250 --> 00:35:35,709
You just get ready
for a bombshell.
613
00:35:39,709 --> 00:35:42,291
Ogre, thanks, man.
614
00:35:42,375 --> 00:35:45,417
That's--That's
really thoughtful.
615
00:35:45,500 --> 00:35:47,625
It was really expensive.
(chuckles)
616
00:35:47,709 --> 00:35:53,041
So, uh, I guess
it's on to Lewis
and Betty's present, huh?
617
00:35:59,333 --> 00:36:01,625
-(all gasping)
-Oh, wow!
618
00:36:01,709 --> 00:36:05,792
-WOMAN: Look at that.
-A ski exerciser!
619
00:36:05,875 --> 00:36:08,792
I've been dying
for one of these!
620
00:36:08,875 --> 00:36:12,542
-Have you?
-Boss!
621
00:36:12,625 --> 00:36:16,125
They now have anything
ever sold on an infomercial.
622
00:36:16,208 --> 00:36:17,875
Oh, shut up, Aaron.
623
00:36:17,959 --> 00:36:21,875
TAKASHI: Hey, everybody,
everybody, Booger's parents are
here!
624
00:36:21,959 --> 00:36:25,208
Mr. and Mrs. Booger!
Mr. and Mrs. Booger!
625
00:36:25,291 --> 00:36:26,166
(applause)
626
00:36:26,250 --> 00:36:29,417
Mom? Dad!
627
00:36:33,041 --> 00:36:35,542
They look like they just
fell off a pickle truck.
(laughs)
628
00:36:35,625 --> 00:36:36,709
-Chip!
-Ow!
629
00:36:36,792 --> 00:36:40,667
Folks, everybody, excuse me.
These are my parents.
630
00:36:40,750 --> 00:36:41,667
-Oh!
-Oh!
631
00:36:41,750 --> 00:36:43,458
(shutter clicks)
632
00:36:46,250 --> 00:36:49,500
We're so glad
that you're here,
Mr. and Mrs. Dawson.
633
00:36:49,583 --> 00:36:51,667
(cheering)
634
00:36:53,083 --> 00:36:55,917
I am flabbergasted.
635
00:36:56,000 --> 00:37:00,083
We would both
like to thank all of you
from the bottom of our hearts
636
00:37:00,166 --> 00:37:03,500
for this wonderful shower
you're throwing us.
637
00:37:03,583 --> 00:37:07,291
It's probably the first shower
he's ever had.
(guffaws)
638
00:37:10,834 --> 00:37:14,041
MR. DAWSON: No, he showered
regularly. Every other night
in the summer,
639
00:37:14,125 --> 00:37:15,959
and weekly
in the winter.
640
00:37:25,083 --> 00:37:29,208
Well, I don't know
about you guys, but I'm ready
to jump off the dock.
641
00:37:29,291 --> 00:37:33,583
-Yeah!
-Hold it, everybody.
642
00:37:33,667 --> 00:37:36,709
I'd like to offer my toast.
643
00:37:36,792 --> 00:37:38,875
ALL:
Yeah. Yeah.
644
00:37:38,959 --> 00:37:42,000
WOMAN: Get the glass.
Oh, here, take this.
645
00:37:43,375 --> 00:37:45,041
To Booger's love child.
646
00:37:49,041 --> 00:37:51,166
Love child? What are - -what
are you talking about?
647
00:37:53,041 --> 00:37:55,709
I'm talking about the daughter
you had 12 years ago,
648
00:37:55,792 --> 00:37:59,583
out of wedlock, with a young
woman in Sandusky, Ohio.
649
00:37:59,667 --> 00:38:02,166
All right, Booger!
Yeah, bud!
650
00:38:04,542 --> 00:38:10,375
You have a child that my little
girl doesn't know about?
651
00:38:10,458 --> 00:38:13,041
I am appalled, Booger.
Appalled.
652
00:38:13,125 --> 00:38:16,291
-And so is my wife. Right? See?
-But--
653
00:38:16,375 --> 00:38:18,291
I don't know anything
about this.
654
00:38:18,375 --> 00:38:21,125
I have no child
in Sandusky, Ohio.
655
00:38:21,208 --> 00:38:23,792
-The hell you don't!
-(all gasp)
656
00:38:23,875 --> 00:38:26,583
This is a fairly
specious charge.
657
00:38:26,667 --> 00:38:29,166
Where's your proof,
Chip?
658
00:38:29,250 --> 00:38:30,959
Yeah, where's
your proof, Chip?
659
00:38:31,041 --> 00:38:32,542
ALL: Yeah.
660
00:38:33,750 --> 00:38:35,542
My proof is right here.
661
00:38:37,709 --> 00:38:41,667
I'd like you to meet Detective
First Class Chad Penrod.
662
00:38:41,750 --> 00:38:46,250
Detective Penrod, does
Dudley Dawson, alias Booger,
663
00:38:46,333 --> 00:38:51,250
have or have not a 12-year-old
child in Sandusky, Ohio?
664
00:38:51,333 --> 00:38:54,125
I checked the birth records
in Sandusky and found
665
00:38:54,208 --> 00:38:56,667
that on March 19, 1981,
666
00:38:56,750 --> 00:38:59,166
a certain Heidi Dawson
667
00:38:59,250 --> 00:39:01,875
was born to
a Miss Cathleen Turtle--
668
00:39:01,959 --> 00:39:04,959
Turtletaub
and a Mr. Dudley Dawson.
669
00:39:05,792 --> 00:39:08,500
-Cool.
-Wait!
670
00:39:08,583 --> 00:39:12,000
If the parents of the alleged
love child were never married,
671
00:39:12,083 --> 00:39:16,875
why isn't the child's name
Heidi Turtletaub?
672
00:39:16,959 --> 00:39:21,291
Exactly.
Why isn't the child's name
Heidi Turtletaub?
673
00:39:21,375 --> 00:39:23,417
-Yes.
-(neck bones crack)
674
00:39:25,750 --> 00:39:26,959
Beats me.
675
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,667
If the child were born
to an unmarried mother,
676
00:39:30,750 --> 00:39:35,625
wouldn't the so-said mother
have given the aforementioned
daughter her last name?
677
00:39:37,208 --> 00:39:39,208
PENROD:
Well, I do know this.
678
00:39:39,291 --> 00:39:42,208
The child's nickname
is Booger.
679
00:39:42,291 --> 00:39:44,750
-(all gasp)
-Yeah!
680
00:39:45,458 --> 00:39:46,875
I think we should leave,
Jeanie.
681
00:39:46,959 --> 00:39:49,166
Oh.
682
00:39:49,250 --> 00:39:52,875
Do you wanna marry a man
who doesn't tell you
that he has a child?
683
00:39:52,959 --> 00:39:55,417
Who knows what
he'll lie about next?
684
00:39:55,500 --> 00:39:58,208
You saw The Crying Game.
685
00:39:58,291 --> 00:40:01,083
How do we know
he even is a man?
686
00:40:01,166 --> 00:40:04,417
-(gasps)
-(all gasping)
687
00:40:04,500 --> 00:40:07,250
-LAMAR: Don't you touch me!
-Get your hands off me!
688
00:40:07,333 --> 00:40:10,083
-LAMAR: Don't you touch me!
-I caught you red-handed!
689
00:40:10,166 --> 00:40:12,250
-LAMAR: Get off of me!
-LEWIS: Hey, break it up!
690
00:40:12,333 --> 00:40:16,041
-Break it up!
-I'm gonna tell everybody!
Don't you get me started.
691
00:40:16,125 --> 00:40:18,250
-I heard--
-Word!
692
00:40:18,333 --> 00:40:21,333
I can't believe what got
into you two. This is supposed
to be a happy occasion.
693
00:40:23,458 --> 00:40:26,250
I'm especially surprised
at you, Lamar.
694
00:40:26,333 --> 00:40:28,709
Now what was going on?
695
00:40:28,792 --> 00:40:31,542
Well, Chip was crackin'
on Booger's parents.
696
00:40:31,625 --> 00:40:33,792
Crackin' on my parents?
697
00:40:35,625 --> 00:40:37,792
What kind of cracks, Chip?
698
00:40:37,875 --> 00:40:41,250
-Booger.
-Yeah, what kind?
699
00:40:41,333 --> 00:40:44,917
-As your best man, I strongly
advise you just let it go.
-I'm not going to let it go.
700
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:48,083
On the other hand, I'm
prepared to explore other
avenues with you as well.
701
00:40:48,166 --> 00:40:51,458
-What kind of cracks, Chip?
-(stammering)
702
00:40:51,542 --> 00:40:54,959
Chip said that your mama
was so ugly, that the Elephant
Man paid to see her.
703
00:40:55,041 --> 00:40:57,166
(laughing)
704
00:41:01,375 --> 00:41:05,500
The point is you have a
12-year-old daughter in
Sandusky, Ohio!
705
00:41:05,583 --> 00:41:10,625
This has nothing to do
with my having a child
in Sandusky, Ohio.
706
00:41:10,709 --> 00:41:12,709
That isn't what
this is about at all.
707
00:41:14,375 --> 00:41:17,709
-This is because I'm a nerd.
-(all gasping)
708
00:41:19,041 --> 00:41:20,834
And it has been
since the beginning.
709
00:41:20,917 --> 00:41:23,125
Mm-hmm.
710
00:41:23,208 --> 00:41:26,500
Why else would someone rummage
through my private life
with a detective?
711
00:41:26,583 --> 00:41:31,458
And then announce this...
detestable fabrication,
712
00:41:31,542 --> 00:41:35,166
this--this
tissue of lies
713
00:41:35,250 --> 00:41:38,208
-on the happiest day
of my life?
-Oh, Booger.
714
00:41:39,917 --> 00:41:42,709
Hath not a nerd eyes?
715
00:41:44,417 --> 00:41:46,709
When you prick us,
do we not bleed?
716
00:41:48,208 --> 00:41:51,959
I am tired
of the reckless allegations,
717
00:41:52,041 --> 00:41:54,208
the snide snickering,
718
00:41:54,291 --> 00:41:57,458
the talking behind backs,
the sly innuendos,
719
00:41:57,542 --> 00:41:59,917
the looking down on us.
720
00:42:03,250 --> 00:42:06,458
We are what we are.
721
00:42:06,542 --> 00:42:08,959
-Aren't we?
-NERDS: We are!
722
00:42:09,041 --> 00:42:12,500
-And we're proud
of what we are.
-NERDS: We are!
723
00:42:12,583 --> 00:42:15,875
And we are not about
to allow ourselves
724
00:42:15,959 --> 00:42:18,959
to be intimidated
by a bunch of--
725
00:42:19,041 --> 00:42:22,000
Booger, don't say it!
726
00:42:22,083 --> 00:42:27,125
-Say it, Booger!
-Nouveau-riche pigs!
727
00:42:28,917 --> 00:42:30,667
OGRE:
There you go.
728
00:42:32,250 --> 00:42:36,834
You have...
the audacity...
729
00:42:36,917 --> 00:42:39,709
to utter the most...
730
00:42:39,792 --> 00:42:43,125
morally reprehensible slur
to these...
731
00:42:44,583 --> 00:42:47,417
fine, upstanding,
732
00:42:47,500 --> 00:42:49,792
self-made
businesspeople.
733
00:42:51,834 --> 00:42:54,583
Shame on you, Booger.
734
00:42:54,667 --> 00:42:56,709
Shame on all of you nerds.
735
00:42:56,792 --> 00:42:58,125
Ogre, no!
736
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:09,709
-(gasps)
-WOMAN: Oh!
737
00:43:09,792 --> 00:43:12,041
The prosecution rests.
738
00:43:12,125 --> 00:43:15,000
I've had it with you nerds!
739
00:43:16,667 --> 00:43:18,500
All right, everyone,
just cool it!
740
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:25,208
-Oh, what the hell.
-We've got too much class
for this kind of crap.
741
00:43:26,333 --> 00:43:28,750
-Booger!
-Jeanie!
742
00:43:28,834 --> 00:43:32,375
-Booger!
-TAKASHI: (yells)
743
00:43:33,959 --> 00:43:35,458
Ahhh!
744
00:43:39,667 --> 00:43:41,667
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, haaaa!
745
00:43:52,083 --> 00:43:54,208
(woman shrieking)
746
00:44:16,542 --> 00:44:19,542
So you might have a daughter
in Sandusky, Ohio, huh?
747
00:44:22,709 --> 00:44:25,375
(sighs)
I don't know.
748
00:44:26,583 --> 00:44:28,500
It's certainly possible.
749
00:44:30,250 --> 00:44:35,250
God knows my seed is as
strong as an Alaskan salmon.
750
00:44:37,083 --> 00:44:39,875
And I partied pretty hard
in the early '80s.
751
00:44:41,417 --> 00:44:43,208
In Sandusky?
752
00:44:45,083 --> 00:44:48,500
Apart from Akron, I probably
spent more time in Sandusky
753
00:44:48,583 --> 00:44:50,583
than any place on earth.
754
00:44:53,250 --> 00:44:55,125
Damn it!
755
00:44:58,417 --> 00:45:01,250
Everything was going so
great. Now it's ruined.
756
00:45:05,458 --> 00:45:07,792
Ah, Booger.
757
00:45:11,125 --> 00:45:13,291
Your wedding isn't ruined.
758
00:45:14,834 --> 00:45:16,792
What are you
talking about?
759
00:45:17,750 --> 00:45:21,291
We just had a food fight.
760
00:45:22,625 --> 00:45:26,125
People don't have...
761
00:45:27,667 --> 00:45:31,583
food fights at their...
762
00:45:31,667 --> 00:45:33,542
bridal showers!
763
00:45:33,625 --> 00:45:35,583
But I did.
764
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:39,709
Some nouveau-riche guy,
765
00:45:39,792 --> 00:45:42,417
looked like he could
have been a banker,
766
00:45:42,500 --> 00:45:45,542
is mashing...
767
00:45:45,625 --> 00:45:50,458
handfuls of garni
up my nostrils!
768
00:45:52,583 --> 00:45:54,667
(sighs)
I know things look bleak.
769
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:57,959
But they've been bleak
before.
770
00:45:58,041 --> 00:46:01,083
Do you remember
at Adams College?
771
00:46:01,166 --> 00:46:03,291
We were exiled
from the dorms
772
00:46:03,375 --> 00:46:05,917
and forced to live
in the gymnasium.
773
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:08,417
Do you remember
in Fort Lauderdale,
774
00:46:08,500 --> 00:46:11,917
when we were persecuted into
subjugation and incarcerated?
775
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:16,041
How about when Orrin Price
framed me...
776
00:46:16,125 --> 00:46:18,250
for embezzling...
777
00:46:18,333 --> 00:46:22,625
Adams College
computer research funds?
778
00:46:22,709 --> 00:46:27,083
We may have been subjected to
the yoke of nerd oppression
before,
779
00:46:27,166 --> 00:46:30,375
-but we're not gonna be
subjected to it again!
-(bangs mug)
780
00:46:31,375 --> 00:46:35,250
This wedding is not over!
The son of a gun
has just begun!
781
00:46:37,667 --> 00:46:39,875
Come on, pal.
782
00:46:40,834 --> 00:46:43,208
(crying)
783
00:46:44,375 --> 00:46:46,375
(ringing)
784
00:46:51,709 --> 00:46:54,917
BOOGER:
Meet me at the Wood Bridge
in half an hour.
785
00:46:57,875 --> 00:46:59,875
Please?
786
00:47:02,542 --> 00:47:06,250
- Hello?
-(sobs)
787
00:47:06,333 --> 00:47:10,500
I'm sorry.
Is this 555-4264?
788
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:15,375
Knock, knock.
Is this a private party?
789
00:47:17,291 --> 00:47:18,667
Have a drink, Chip.
790
00:47:18,750 --> 00:47:21,333
Thanks, Dad--Aaron.
(laughs)
791
00:47:21,417 --> 00:47:23,834
(sighs)
792
00:47:23,917 --> 00:47:26,583
I'm taking a lot of flack
from this from my wife.
793
00:47:27,917 --> 00:47:30,667
I thought the, uh, food fight
was a nice plus though.
794
00:47:30,750 --> 00:47:34,291
This is a career day
for you, Chip.
795
00:47:34,375 --> 00:47:39,166
As a matter of fact, this is
the first good thing I could
ever remember you doing.
796
00:47:39,250 --> 00:47:41,542
Oh, come on. I've done
lots of good things.
797
00:47:42,291 --> 00:47:43,625
Name one.
798
00:47:43,709 --> 00:47:47,083
-Are you serious?
-Name one.
799
00:47:48,917 --> 00:47:50,792
Well, there was, uh--
800
00:47:51,917 --> 00:47:55,125
-Uh--
-You don't do anything
and I pay you a fortune.
801
00:47:55,208 --> 00:47:56,875
But look.
802
00:47:56,959 --> 00:47:59,625
You made up for everything.
You're the man
803
00:47:59,959 --> 00:48:03,291
who drove the Booger man
out of my daughter's life.
804
00:48:04,792 --> 00:48:05,792
(exhales)
805
00:48:08,083 --> 00:48:10,250
Daddy, I have to
talk to you.
806
00:48:11,125 --> 00:48:12,542
I'm so confused.
807
00:48:14,291 --> 00:48:17,333
First of all, I just wanna
thank you for being
so concerned about me.
808
00:48:17,417 --> 00:48:19,709
I know in my heart
809
00:48:19,792 --> 00:48:22,709
you only want
what's best for me,
810
00:48:22,792 --> 00:48:25,083
no matter what you say
or do or how you behave.
811
00:48:25,166 --> 00:48:27,458
JEANIE: (sighs)
812
00:48:28,125 --> 00:48:30,959
I sure do love
that Booger though.
813
00:48:31,625 --> 00:48:34,583
I can't believe he's got
a kid he never told me about.
814
00:48:38,834 --> 00:48:40,917
(groans)
815
00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:45,125
(scoffs)
Kids--you gotta love 'em.
816
00:48:47,500 --> 00:48:48,500
(exhales)
817
00:48:49,834 --> 00:48:53,667
It, um--
It is true, Chip.
818
00:48:54,208 --> 00:48:55,375
Is what true?
819
00:48:57,667 --> 00:49:01,583
That, um, he has a child
820
00:49:01,667 --> 00:49:03,792
with an unwed mother
and all that?
821
00:49:03,875 --> 00:49:07,417
Yeah, sure it's true.
The detective I hired
found it.
822
00:49:07,500 --> 00:49:12,083
Because it, uh--
it wouldn't be good
if it wasn't true.
823
00:49:12,166 --> 00:49:17,250
-It's true.
-Then, uh--then it's good.
824
00:49:17,333 --> 00:49:21,458
-'Cause it's true.
-Right. If it's true,
it's good.
825
00:49:21,542 --> 00:49:24,291
And, uh, I feel good about that.
(clicks tongue)
826
00:49:24,375 --> 00:49:26,166
Good.
827
00:49:28,333 --> 00:49:31,375
(birds chirping)
828
00:49:46,041 --> 00:49:47,750
(gasps)
829
00:49:47,834 --> 00:49:50,208
-Booger!
-Jeanie!
830
00:49:53,417 --> 00:49:56,208
Let's go to our secret spot
so no one will see us.
831
00:49:58,333 --> 00:50:02,458
-I love you, Booger.
-Oh, I love you too.
832
00:50:02,542 --> 00:50:06,625
But marriage is about trust.
No secrets from each other,
remember?
833
00:50:06,709 --> 00:50:08,750
I don't have any secrets.
834
00:50:09,959 --> 00:50:12,375
Well, what about that child
in Sandusky, Ohio?
835
00:50:12,458 --> 00:50:16,083
I don't have a child
in Sandusky, Ohio!
836
00:50:17,625 --> 00:50:20,375
Well, why would
Detective Penrod
say that you did?
837
00:50:20,458 --> 00:50:22,500
Well, I don't know!
838
00:50:22,583 --> 00:50:25,333
I don't even know
who Detective Penrod is!
839
00:50:25,417 --> 00:50:28,417
I'm a condemned man
and I don't have a child!
840
00:50:33,125 --> 00:50:34,583
I believe you, Booger.
841
00:50:37,250 --> 00:50:38,458
You do?
842
00:50:38,542 --> 00:50:41,500
Yes, because marriage
is about trust.
843
00:50:41,583 --> 00:50:46,041
And I trust you...
completely.
844
00:50:46,125 --> 00:50:47,583
BOOGER: (laughs)
845
00:50:49,125 --> 00:50:52,709
All I know is that I love you
and I think we should
continue the wedding.
846
00:50:52,792 --> 00:50:55,750
Oh, Booger, I--
I don't know what to do. I--
847
00:50:55,834 --> 00:51:00,333
I--I don't know.
I don't know what's
right or wrong anymore.
848
00:51:01,834 --> 00:51:03,792
I, uh--
849
00:51:04,625 --> 00:51:06,583
I know it's
a day early, but...
850
00:51:09,625 --> 00:51:11,458
I'd like you to read
my valentine.
851
00:51:18,792 --> 00:51:21,375
(giggling)
852
00:51:21,458 --> 00:51:23,291
-Open it up.
-(laughs)
853
00:51:24,291 --> 00:51:25,792
A cow.
Oh.
854
00:51:30,208 --> 00:51:33,291
"An empty spot
was on my heart
855
00:51:33,375 --> 00:51:36,583
until I met you,
O Valentine.
856
00:51:36,667 --> 00:51:40,125
Then the spot filled in.
My heart was whole.
857
00:51:40,208 --> 00:51:44,709
I could love for the first
time in my life
858
00:51:44,792 --> 00:51:47,959
now that you
are going to become
859
00:51:51,667 --> 00:51:53,625
my wife."
860
00:51:57,834 --> 00:52:01,583
-Ahh, the hell with my dad!
-Uh, huh, that's exactly what
I'd hoped you'd say.
861
00:52:01,667 --> 00:52:02,625
(laughing)
862
00:52:02,709 --> 00:52:05,417
(lowing)
863
00:52:05,500 --> 00:52:08,125
-Again.
-(laughs)
864
00:52:08,208 --> 00:52:12,041
(lowing)
865
00:52:13,709 --> 00:52:17,959
(laughs) Oh, I can't tell you
what it does to me
to hear you moo again.
866
00:52:18,041 --> 00:52:21,291
-(lowing)
-(mooing)
867
00:52:21,375 --> 00:52:24,333
(mooing)
868
00:52:24,417 --> 00:52:27,041
-Oh, ho, ho, Booger!
-Jeanie!
869
00:52:27,709 --> 00:52:31,709
-(laughs)
-(mooing)
870
00:52:35,875 --> 00:52:37,917
(lawn mower)
871
00:52:39,667 --> 00:52:42,333
-It's on!
-What's on?
872
00:52:42,417 --> 00:52:44,959
The wedding is on
again!
873
00:52:45,041 --> 00:52:48,917
First it's on, then it's off.
Now it's on again.
874
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:51,166
I am on an emotional
roller coaster.
875
00:52:51,250 --> 00:52:54,000
-I am not a yo-yo.
-(scoffs)
876
00:52:54,083 --> 00:52:57,125
-(lawn mower)
-(tray slams)
877
00:53:00,875 --> 00:53:04,291
How can the wedding be on?
We all can't even be
in the same room together.
878
00:53:04,375 --> 00:53:06,500
Never in the history
of weddings
879
00:53:06,583 --> 00:53:09,458
has there ever been
a clearer case
of incompatibility.
880
00:53:09,542 --> 00:53:14,291
Aaron, Jeanie is thrilled.
Think about her for once.
881
00:53:14,375 --> 00:53:17,667
I am thinking about her.
The man is a liar
and a child deserter.
882
00:53:17,750 --> 00:53:20,333
If she goes through with
this wedding, I'm not gonna
have anything to do with it!
883
00:53:20,417 --> 00:53:22,709
Zero, nothing,
nada, zip!
884
00:53:24,458 --> 00:53:25,709
-(chair ganging)
-Ow!
885
00:53:25,792 --> 00:53:27,375
(laughing)
886
00:53:27,458 --> 00:53:30,959
Okay, all right. Anybody who
feels that Booger could have
887
00:53:31,041 --> 00:53:33,834
an illegitimate child
in Sandusky, Ohio,
raise your right hands.
888
00:53:38,667 --> 00:53:41,000
(shouts)
Opposed?
889
00:53:41,083 --> 00:53:43,417
-You don't think it's possible?
-No, I do not.
890
00:53:43,500 --> 00:53:45,834
Booger may be Booger,
but he always took precautions.
891
00:53:45,917 --> 00:53:50,250
-That is right.
He always did wear condoms.
-Oh. Condom.
892
00:53:50,333 --> 00:53:52,917
-So he couldn't have a child.
-No way.
893
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:56,709
(car approaching)
894
00:53:56,792 --> 00:54:00,834
-Harold, where you going?
-LAMAR: I don't know, but I
would guess Aunt Lois's.
895
00:54:00,917 --> 00:54:03,083
Are you scoring, Harold?
896
00:54:03,166 --> 00:54:06,667
Well, I certainly wouldn't
tell you if I was.
897
00:54:06,750 --> 00:54:09,917
But I guarantee ya
I ain't going over there
for breakfast.
898
00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:12,458
(all laughing)
899
00:54:13,458 --> 00:54:15,792
-(tires screeching)
-Ya-hoo!
900
00:54:15,875 --> 00:54:18,834
-(horn honking)
-(tires squealing)
901
00:54:20,375 --> 00:54:22,959
-It's on!
-BOTH: What's on?
902
00:54:23,875 --> 00:54:25,083
The wedding!
903
00:54:25,166 --> 00:54:28,333
-(tires screeching)
-(horn honking)
904
00:54:34,333 --> 00:54:36,750
Uh, I-I thought you told me
the love child was real.
905
00:54:36,834 --> 00:54:39,709
I didn't say she was real.
I said it was a great idea.
906
00:54:39,792 --> 00:54:44,917
But it hasn't turned out to
be such a great idea, has it?
907
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:49,083
If Aaron finds out
I've lied to him, I'm dead.
He's gonna fire me.
908
00:54:49,166 --> 00:54:52,917
(sighs) Hey, if he fires you,
isn't he also cutting off
his own daughter?
909
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:56,750
He's gonna give her
an allowance that
I'm not allowed to touch.
910
00:54:56,834 --> 00:54:59,375
Well, (lips smack)
that'd do it.
911
00:54:59,709 --> 00:55:01,458
(moans)
912
00:55:01,542 --> 00:55:03,917
Oh, relax will ya. There
are plenty of ways to
ruin a wedding.
913
00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:05,959
-Such as?
-It's easy.
914
00:55:06,041 --> 00:55:07,291
You know what bachelor
parties are like.
915
00:55:07,375 --> 00:55:11,667
Beautiful women,
liquor flowing,
raw naked temptation.
916
00:55:12,041 --> 00:55:14,458
Booger's bound
to succumb.
917
00:55:14,542 --> 00:55:17,166
According to his bio,
he's got the self-control
of a brahma bull.
918
00:55:17,250 --> 00:55:20,291
Uhh, how would we, uh--
How would we show proof
of this?
919
00:55:20,375 --> 00:55:22,834
We'll make one
of America's
920
00:55:22,917 --> 00:55:26,417
least funny home videos.
921
00:55:26,500 --> 00:55:30,250
-(chuckling)
-(chuckling)
922
00:55:31,333 --> 00:55:32,375
Do it.
923
00:55:34,208 --> 00:55:37,583
Hey. There's a horse here
named Big Booger.
924
00:55:41,083 --> 00:55:44,125
♪♪
925
00:55:48,625 --> 00:55:51,834
(groans)
I missed the food fight.
926
00:55:51,917 --> 00:55:54,959
And now I'm gonna miss
Booger's surprise theme
bachelor party.
927
00:55:55,041 --> 00:55:57,667
Well, not really, Stan.
928
00:55:57,750 --> 00:56:01,166
May I present to you and Judy
a special Valentine's Day treat.
929
00:56:01,250 --> 00:56:05,500
Try these on for size, ok?
Now, tonight when
the bachelor party starts,
930
00:56:05,583 --> 00:56:09,834
you simply turn on the TV,
hit the function button
on your remote. OK?
931
00:56:09,917 --> 00:56:12,208
And you might not be there,
but you'll have
the next best thing--
932
00:56:13,208 --> 00:56:16,834
-Skolnick Vision.
-(guffaws)
933
00:56:16,917 --> 00:56:18,875
-Bye, guys.
-Thanks, Lewis.
934
00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:21,583
-Thanks.
-(door opens, closes)
935
00:56:21,667 --> 00:56:23,709
(both guffawing)
936
00:56:23,792 --> 00:56:26,583
-♪♪ (dance rock)
-(shouting, chattering)
937
00:56:28,834 --> 00:56:31,750
-Oh, I made it!
-Great shot, Takashi. You know,
you owe me another 20 bucks.
938
00:56:31,834 --> 00:56:33,500
-Huh?
-Well, sometimes when you win,
you lose.
939
00:56:33,583 --> 00:56:34,875
Now, let's play for
your watch.
940
00:56:34,959 --> 00:56:37,208
-Okay, thank you.
-You're welcome. (laughs)
941
00:56:37,291 --> 00:56:40,792
Red ball, middle pocket and
you can call me London Fats.
(chuckles)
942
00:56:42,250 --> 00:56:44,709
(party favors squealing)
943
00:56:44,792 --> 00:56:47,834
Ah, here you go.
A bumper pool tournament!
944
00:56:47,917 --> 00:56:50,542
I mean, what an original idea
for a bachelor party!
945
00:56:50,625 --> 00:56:52,875
I knew that you
would love it, Booger.
946
00:56:52,959 --> 00:56:55,917
Is there gonna be
a girlie show?
947
00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:58,250
Mr. Dawson,
that would be sexist.
948
00:56:58,333 --> 00:57:01,583
Yeah, we believe it's possible
to be entertained
without demeaning women.
949
00:57:01,667 --> 00:57:05,458
That's nice. But personally,
I'd prefer a little skin.
950
00:57:07,125 --> 00:57:10,667
Hey, hey, fellas, I got winners.
(chuckles)
951
00:57:12,625 --> 00:57:15,709
He's got a lot of nerve
showing his face around here.
952
00:57:15,792 --> 00:57:18,375
-Temper, temper.
-Don't worry about it, Booger.
953
00:57:18,458 --> 00:57:21,375
We got him under
24-hour surveillance.
954
00:57:21,458 --> 00:57:24,000
There's nothing he can do
that we don't know about.
955
00:57:24,500 --> 00:57:26,583
-(laughs)
-(laughs)
956
00:57:26,667 --> 00:57:28,709
Hey, no lofting, Harold!
957
00:57:28,792 --> 00:57:32,417
(chanting) Nouveau riche!
Nouveau riche! Nouveau riche!
958
00:57:32,500 --> 00:57:35,041
-Nouveau riche! Nouveau riche!
-(gargles)
959
00:57:35,125 --> 00:57:38,917
I really expected Aaron
to be here tonight.
960
00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:41,291
He doesn't want anything
to do with the wedding.
961
00:57:41,375 --> 00:57:44,458
Well, he might have extended me
the courtesy of allowing me
to know that.
962
00:57:44,542 --> 00:57:46,500
(chanting) Nouveau riche!
Nouveau riche!
963
00:57:46,583 --> 00:57:49,792
All right, all right,
all right. All right!
964
00:57:49,875 --> 00:57:51,875
(chanting stops) Nouveau--
965
00:57:52,917 --> 00:57:54,834
Now, I know we had
a little trouble today
966
00:57:54,917 --> 00:57:57,959
at the all-you-can-eat
nerd bridal shower
at the Rump Roast Room at noon,
967
00:57:58,041 --> 00:58:00,250
but, hey,
that's behind us now, right?
968
00:58:00,333 --> 00:58:02,625
-We're adults.
-Hold it, everybody.
969
00:58:02,709 --> 00:58:05,750
-Lewis is right.
-(coughs)
970
00:58:05,834 --> 00:58:08,834
Why, even I've been a bit
of a recalcitrant
during this wedding,
971
00:58:08,917 --> 00:58:12,583
but now that I've gotten
to know... Booger,
972
00:58:12,667 --> 00:58:16,291
I realize that you and Jeanie
are a perfect couple.
973
00:58:16,375 --> 00:58:20,583
And I know that
it's only the first step,
974
00:58:20,667 --> 00:58:24,333
-♪♪ (dance rock)
-but I'm hoping
that you will accept...
975
00:58:24,417 --> 00:58:27,333
-MAN: Look at that.
-...my dove of peace.
976
00:58:27,417 --> 00:58:30,750
-(excited chattering)
-(party favors squealing)
977
00:58:33,250 --> 00:58:35,750
-Miss Modem!
-(all cheering)
978
00:58:37,875 --> 00:58:41,959
-Miss Numbers.
-Come on!
979
00:58:42,041 --> 00:58:43,959
(sighs)
980
00:58:44,041 --> 00:58:46,667
Miss Mainframe.
981
00:58:46,750 --> 00:58:50,875
-Leave it to Chip to be sexist.
-M-m-me, me, me!
982
00:58:50,959 --> 00:58:52,917
-CHIP: Miss Communication.
-(gasps)
983
00:58:54,917 --> 00:58:57,333
You know, they are
sort of enjoyable.
984
00:58:57,417 --> 00:58:59,917
-CHIP: Miss Floppy Disk.
-BOOGER: (moaning)
985
00:59:00,583 --> 00:59:04,417
-(moaning continues)
-♪♪
986
00:59:09,166 --> 00:59:11,750
-I love you!
-Come on!
987
00:59:11,834 --> 00:59:14,625
-(all shouting)
-(party favors squealing)
988
00:59:22,583 --> 00:59:25,542
Hey, hey, hey.
989
00:59:25,625 --> 00:59:28,208
-I'll take care of him.
-Go get him.
990
00:59:28,291 --> 00:59:32,083
-Hi, Booger. I'm your present.
-(growls)
991
00:59:32,166 --> 00:59:36,458
♪♪ (continues)
992
00:59:37,625 --> 00:59:40,583
WOMAN: ♪ You make quiver ♪
993
00:59:40,667 --> 00:59:43,291
(moans)
You feel so good!
994
00:59:50,166 --> 00:59:52,667
I can't take no more!
995
00:59:53,667 --> 00:59:56,959
♪ You make me quiver ♪
996
00:59:57,041 --> 00:59:59,125
(both guffawing)
997
01:00:01,500 --> 01:00:04,417
MAN:
Take it off!
998
01:00:04,500 --> 01:00:06,542
(cheering)
999
01:00:10,542 --> 01:00:12,667
(guffawing continues)
1000
01:00:13,959 --> 01:00:17,375
♪♪ (music continues)
1001
01:00:33,208 --> 01:00:35,208
♪ You make me quiver ♪
1002
01:00:35,542 --> 01:00:36,500
(laughing)
1003
01:00:36,583 --> 01:00:38,959
You know, this--this
Skolnick Vision is great,
1004
01:00:39,041 --> 01:00:43,250
but, ah, still, it's not like
actually being there.
1005
01:00:46,542 --> 01:00:49,417
We could have our
own stag party, Stan.
1006
01:00:51,542 --> 01:00:54,375
♪♪ (continues)
1007
01:00:54,834 --> 01:00:58,291
-(all shouting)
-(party favors squealing)
1008
01:00:58,375 --> 01:01:01,250
♪ You make quiver ♪
1009
01:01:04,709 --> 01:01:07,709
♪♪ (vocalizing)
1010
01:01:09,166 --> 01:01:10,625
(laughing)
1011
01:01:10,709 --> 01:01:14,000
♪ You make quiver ♪
1012
01:01:14,083 --> 01:01:15,875
(all shouting)
1013
01:01:19,375 --> 01:01:20,417
♪ Shiver ♪
1014
01:01:23,291 --> 01:01:26,000
-(cheering)
-(shouting)
1015
01:01:26,083 --> 01:01:28,709
♪ You make me quiver ♪
1016
01:01:28,792 --> 01:01:32,709
-♪♪ (continues)
-(cheering)
1017
01:01:36,417 --> 01:01:38,417
(laughing)
1018
01:01:42,083 --> 01:01:45,291
We're gonna have some fun.
A cool time.
1019
01:01:46,583 --> 01:01:49,709
(both laughing)
1020
01:01:49,792 --> 01:01:51,959
-What is all this?
-(chuckles)
1021
01:01:52,041 --> 01:01:54,959
This is anything that you
want it to be, Booger.
1022
01:01:59,750 --> 01:02:03,417
(whirring)
1023
01:02:03,500 --> 01:02:06,542
-♪♪ (conga drum beating)
-ALL: Hey! Hey!
1024
01:02:06,625 --> 01:02:09,417
Hey!
1025
01:02:09,500 --> 01:02:11,709
Hey! Hey!
1026
01:02:11,792 --> 01:02:13,583
Hey!
1027
01:02:13,667 --> 01:02:17,291
Hey! Hey!
1028
01:02:20,959 --> 01:02:23,333
Did you do the nasty?
1029
01:02:26,625 --> 01:02:29,041
I still got it.
1030
01:02:29,125 --> 01:02:31,458
(all shouting, cheering)
1031
01:02:33,625 --> 01:02:36,125
-All right, Booger!
-♪♪ (conga drum resumes)
1032
01:02:36,208 --> 01:02:40,125
Hey! Hey! Hey!
1033
01:02:42,208 --> 01:02:46,208
This better be good, Chip,
to have woken us up
in the middle of the night.
1034
01:02:46,291 --> 01:02:50,417
I just want you all to see
what kind of lowlife
Jeanie's going to marry.
1035
01:02:50,500 --> 01:02:51,875
BOOGER (on TV):
What is all this?
1036
01:02:51,959 --> 01:02:52,959
Booger?
1037
01:02:53,041 --> 01:02:57,291
This is anything
you want it to be, Booger.
1038
01:02:57,375 --> 01:03:00,417
It's your last night
as a single man.
1039
01:03:00,500 --> 01:03:02,875
You're allowed to have
a little fun, Booger.
1040
01:03:02,959 --> 01:03:06,000
Oh, my God.
1041
01:03:07,542 --> 01:03:11,625
-I can't do this.
-Everybody's nervous
at first.
1042
01:03:11,709 --> 01:03:16,125
No, no, no.
It's not that I'm nervous.
1043
01:03:16,208 --> 01:03:20,000
I am not nervous.
1044
01:03:20,083 --> 01:03:22,959
It's just that, um,
1045
01:03:23,041 --> 01:03:27,250
Jeanie and I have
a special bond...
1046
01:03:27,333 --> 01:03:30,583
and I don't want
to break it.
1047
01:03:32,709 --> 01:03:35,000
Plus, you make me
very nervous.
1048
01:03:37,333 --> 01:03:40,750
So, if it's all right with
you, perhaps we could just...
1049
01:03:42,834 --> 01:03:45,792
sit here for a, for a moment...
1050
01:03:45,875 --> 01:03:48,625
so that the guys outside
won't...
1051
01:03:48,709 --> 01:03:51,250
think that I'm the sissy
that you know me to be.
1052
01:03:51,333 --> 01:03:53,125
-(laughs)
-(kiss)
1053
01:03:53,208 --> 01:03:57,166
You're not a sissy, Booger.
You're a mensch.
1054
01:03:57,250 --> 01:04:00,750
-I think he acted
very responsibly.
-That's right, Chip.
1055
01:04:02,583 --> 01:04:05,667
-(smacks butt)
-Oh, yes, Mommy!
1056
01:04:05,750 --> 01:04:09,291
-Oh, God. (laughing)
- Oh, I'm feeling better.
1057
01:04:09,375 --> 01:04:13,834
-Ooh.
-I've been bad.
I've been very bad!
1058
01:04:13,917 --> 01:04:16,000
I want a divorce, Chip.
1059
01:04:16,083 --> 01:04:19,417
It must be a mistake.
That's not me.
1060
01:04:21,542 --> 01:04:24,375
Those nerds did it.
I bet they did it
on a computer or something.
1061
01:04:24,458 --> 01:04:26,542
God, the things they can do
with computers these days.
1062
01:04:26,625 --> 01:04:31,250
No. I'm the one who made
the mistake, Chip,
when I married you.
1063
01:04:33,291 --> 01:04:35,500
It was a little indiscretion
at a bachelor party.
1064
01:04:35,583 --> 01:04:38,208
It's not just
the video, Chip!
1065
01:04:38,291 --> 01:04:41,500
It's been all downhill
since the honeymoon.
1066
01:04:41,583 --> 01:04:44,875
You drink too much.
You're mentally abusive to me.
1067
01:04:44,959 --> 01:04:47,667
You fool around
with other women.
1068
01:04:47,750 --> 01:04:50,500
We have absolutely
nothing in common.
1069
01:04:50,583 --> 01:04:53,250
Well, maybe I could work
a little harder.
1070
01:04:53,333 --> 01:04:57,625
It makes me ill to think
I've stayed with you
as long as I have.
1071
01:04:58,834 --> 01:05:01,834
(gagging)
1072
01:05:01,917 --> 01:05:04,000
CHIP: Honey?
1073
01:05:08,417 --> 01:05:10,709
You mind if I spoke
to Chip alone?
1074
01:05:10,792 --> 01:05:12,667
Oh, no, certainly.
Come, sweetie.
1075
01:05:12,750 --> 01:05:14,625
TIPPY: Gaylord!
1076
01:05:19,917 --> 01:05:22,875
-This isn't good, Chip.
-No.
1077
01:05:23,834 --> 01:05:25,917
So I'm gonna
kill you, Chip.
1078
01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:29,083
You made a fool
out of my daughter!
1079
01:05:29,166 --> 01:05:31,083
Aaron, I can
explain everything.
1080
01:05:31,166 --> 01:05:33,083
You lied about
the illegitimate child,
1081
01:05:33,166 --> 01:05:35,959
then you tried to frame
Booger and you got caught!
1082
01:05:36,041 --> 01:05:38,917
The illegitimate child will
be here tomorrow morning
at 10:00 a.m.
1083
01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:41,250
She's on route right now
from Sandusky, Ohio.
1084
01:05:41,333 --> 01:05:44,250
There is no illegitimate
child! You made it all up.
1085
01:05:44,333 --> 01:05:47,375
The illegitimate child will be
here at 10:00 in the morning!
1086
01:05:47,458 --> 01:05:51,417
It better be!
And you better get
my daughter to forgive you,
1087
01:05:51,500 --> 01:05:54,041
or there's no room for you
in this family
1088
01:05:54,125 --> 01:05:58,208
or at Humphrey Industries,
you pervert creep.
1089
01:06:00,375 --> 01:06:01,458
(door slams)
1090
01:06:05,417 --> 01:06:08,625
Oh, boy. That was
one heck of a stag party
last night, Lewis.
1091
01:06:08,709 --> 01:06:10,959
I know I'll never forget it.
1092
01:06:11,041 --> 01:06:14,959
I especially enjoyed your dance
with the woman who removed
her clothes, Mr. Booger.
1093
01:06:15,041 --> 01:06:19,333
Trevor, remember there's
a code of silence about
what goes on at a stag party.
1094
01:06:19,417 --> 01:06:21,959
-Code of silence?
-So, reveal nothing,
1095
01:06:22,041 --> 01:06:24,959
even if you're under hours
of interrogation and torture.
1096
01:06:25,041 --> 01:06:27,667
Wild horses couldn't
drag it out of me.
1097
01:06:27,750 --> 01:06:31,000
(chuckles)
Who aren't I
supposed to tell?
1098
01:06:46,625 --> 01:06:48,458
-Lewis.
-Huh?
1099
01:06:49,041 --> 01:06:50,583
There were women there,
weren't there?
1100
01:06:54,083 --> 01:06:55,583
Yes.
1101
01:06:59,250 --> 01:07:00,583
Were they pretty?
1102
01:07:02,750 --> 01:07:03,917
Yes.
1103
01:07:04,792 --> 01:07:06,208
What'd you do with them?
1104
01:07:08,709 --> 01:07:11,333
-The bunny hop.
-That's all you did?
1105
01:07:11,417 --> 01:07:14,750
-Yes.
-Was the bunny hop?
1106
01:07:17,750 --> 01:07:20,542
Okay. You can still
be my valentine then.
1107
01:07:24,583 --> 01:07:27,709
Oh, Betty.
(sighs)
You shouldn't have.
1108
01:07:27,792 --> 01:07:30,208
-He's so cute.
-He plays something too.
1109
01:07:30,291 --> 01:07:32,875
Beautiful.
(chuckles)
1110
01:07:32,959 --> 01:07:37,000
Hey, guys!
It's Valentine's Day!
1111
01:07:37,083 --> 01:07:39,250
ALL:
Happy Valentine's Day!
1112
01:07:39,333 --> 01:07:41,166
Happy Valentine's.
1113
01:07:42,667 --> 01:07:46,417
Aaron, I hope you
didn't have anything
1114
01:07:46,500 --> 01:07:49,375
to do with videotaping
Booger at the stag party.
1115
01:07:49,458 --> 01:07:51,834
Absolutely not.
I wasn't even there.
1116
01:07:51,917 --> 01:07:54,041
Mm-hmm.
1117
01:07:54,125 --> 01:07:57,750
Aaron, if you don't
participate in this wedding
1118
01:07:57,834 --> 01:08:00,750
and make your daughter
proud of you,
1119
01:08:00,834 --> 01:08:02,542
I'm going to leave you.
1120
01:08:02,625 --> 01:08:05,208
You would leave me?
1121
01:08:05,291 --> 01:08:08,875
I have learned a lot
from the nerds.
Nerds speak their mind.
1122
01:08:08,959 --> 01:08:11,750
And from now on,
I'm gonna speak my mind too.
1123
01:08:11,834 --> 01:08:15,458
If you don't support your
daughter during this wedding,
I'm outta here.
1124
01:08:15,542 --> 01:08:17,333
Fix your ascot.
1125
01:08:18,792 --> 01:08:21,709
It's not like
I'm giving up that much.
1126
01:08:21,792 --> 01:08:23,667
What is that
supposed to mean?
1127
01:08:24,166 --> 01:08:26,250
Aaron,
1128
01:08:26,333 --> 01:08:29,583
we haven't had sex
since the Bush administration.
1129
01:08:29,667 --> 01:08:33,583
Well, it's, uh, hard to
perform in that way when the
Democrats are in power.
1130
01:08:33,667 --> 01:08:35,750
Ask any guy
in this neighborhood.
1131
01:08:35,834 --> 01:08:38,417
That's why the sex hasn't been
that hot lately.
1132
01:08:38,500 --> 01:08:41,625
Hot?
I'd settle for lukewarm.
1133
01:08:41,709 --> 01:08:43,542
Zip your fly.
1134
01:08:45,166 --> 01:08:46,542
(zipper screeches)
1135
01:08:47,375 --> 01:08:49,125
Well, it's not all my fault.
1136
01:08:49,208 --> 01:08:51,959
How can I have sex when
I have to spend all my time
1137
01:08:52,041 --> 01:08:55,291
fixing my ascot, zippering my
fly and matching my socks?
1138
01:08:55,375 --> 01:08:58,417
I can't be perfect
for you anymore, Tippy.
1139
01:08:58,500 --> 01:09:00,625
It's too much pressure.
1140
01:09:00,709 --> 01:09:04,625
Aaron. I thought
I was helping you.
1141
01:09:04,709 --> 01:09:07,417
I know how much you wanna be
accepted by the blue bloods,
1142
01:09:07,500 --> 01:09:10,834
but you don't ever have
to be perfect for me.
1143
01:09:10,917 --> 01:09:15,291
-I don't?
-No.
1144
01:09:15,375 --> 01:09:19,375
I just want you to be
the imperfect animal
I fell in love with.
1145
01:09:20,250 --> 01:09:22,500
You mean it?
1146
01:09:22,583 --> 01:09:25,333
Absolutely.
1147
01:09:25,417 --> 01:09:27,458
Tippy.
1148
01:09:27,542 --> 01:09:29,458
Aaron.
1149
01:09:29,542 --> 01:09:31,500
Oh, Tippy.
1150
01:09:31,583 --> 01:09:33,333
Aaron!
1151
01:09:33,417 --> 01:09:36,291
Oh! Oh! Oh!
1152
01:09:41,083 --> 01:09:44,291
MAN:
♪ Cupid ♪
1153
01:09:44,375 --> 01:09:48,458
♪ You've got the world
upon a string ♪
1154
01:09:48,542 --> 01:09:53,333
♪ It's time for armored hearts
to sing ♪
1155
01:09:53,417 --> 01:09:57,417
♪ So bless these
sweet nerd lips ♪
1156
01:09:59,375 --> 01:10:01,959
♪ Cupid ♪
1157
01:10:02,041 --> 01:10:07,166
♪ Strike while your
arrow's point is sharp ♪
1158
01:10:07,250 --> 01:10:12,333
♪ Play sweet melodies
upon your harp ♪
1159
01:10:12,417 --> 01:10:16,750
♪ Make all their sweet little
nerdy dreams come true ♪
1160
01:10:18,625 --> 01:10:23,542
♪ Give them one more chance ♪
1161
01:10:23,625 --> 01:10:27,709
-♪ To breathe in romance ♪
-(guffawing)
1162
01:10:27,792 --> 01:10:29,834
♪ Cupid ♪
1163
01:10:29,917 --> 01:10:32,166
Hey, I don't know if you're
enjoying your wedding,
1164
01:10:32,250 --> 01:10:35,333
but it's been
the best time of my life.
1165
01:10:35,417 --> 01:10:37,875
Nerds. Who knew?
1166
01:10:37,959 --> 01:10:41,000
-Where are you?
-Well, I'm over at Lois's.
1167
01:10:41,083 --> 01:10:44,041
Well, it's been special.
1168
01:10:44,125 --> 01:10:47,041
And thank God it's all going
to end this afternoon.
1169
01:10:47,125 --> 01:10:49,834
It's all gonna end
right now.
1170
01:10:50,792 --> 01:10:53,792
I'd like you to meet
Heidi Dawson, your daughter.
1171
01:10:56,000 --> 01:10:57,667
Go.
1172
01:11:08,000 --> 01:11:10,041
-TIPPY: Oh, Aaron!
-It's off!
1173
01:11:10,500 --> 01:11:12,083
(gasps)
1174
01:11:12,166 --> 01:11:13,125
-What's off?
-What?
1175
01:11:13,208 --> 01:11:14,291
The wedding!
1176
01:11:15,375 --> 01:11:18,000
Booger's kid turned up.
I told you there was a kid.
1177
01:11:23,542 --> 01:11:27,792
-Guys, the wedding is off.
-(gasps)
1178
01:11:31,959 --> 01:11:34,250
It's not your fault.
1179
01:11:34,333 --> 01:11:37,709
You didn't do anything.
You didn't ask to be born.
1180
01:11:39,250 --> 01:11:42,583
Would you like me
to give you a push
on those swings?
1181
01:11:42,667 --> 01:11:46,750
-No, thanks.
-Mmm, I'm a pretty good
swing pusher.
1182
01:11:46,834 --> 01:11:48,667
I could give you
an over-the-top.
1183
01:11:48,750 --> 01:11:51,750
I'm too old to be pushed
on the swings.
1184
01:11:51,834 --> 01:11:55,333
Oh, right. Yeah,
you're too old for that.
1185
01:11:57,000 --> 01:11:59,458
I used to hate it
when people treated
me like a baby.
1186
01:11:59,542 --> 01:12:01,709
-You did?
-Oh, yeah.
1187
01:12:02,375 --> 01:12:04,041
So what do you
like to do?
1188
01:12:05,083 --> 01:12:07,166
I'm afraid to tell you
because
1189
01:12:07,250 --> 01:12:10,667
if you don't like what I like,
then you won't like me.
1190
01:12:14,333 --> 01:12:18,166
I think... I'm going
to like you
1191
01:12:18,250 --> 01:12:20,125
no matter what you do,
1192
01:12:20,208 --> 01:12:23,041
as long as you live.
1193
01:12:23,625 --> 01:12:25,375
So there.
1194
01:12:27,583 --> 01:12:29,542
(tires squealing)
1195
01:12:38,208 --> 01:12:39,250
(car door closes)
1196
01:12:46,291 --> 01:12:50,291
-Booger.
-I'm here to see Jeanie.
1197
01:12:50,375 --> 01:12:53,625
I'm sorry, Booger,
but Jeanie doesn't
wanna speak with you.
1198
01:12:53,709 --> 01:12:55,083
I would like her
to tell me that.
1199
01:12:56,875 --> 01:13:00,709
Well, if she doesn't wanna talk
with you, she can't very well
tell you then, can she?
1200
01:13:00,792 --> 01:13:04,375
Mrs. Humphrey,
I am trying to be civil,
but now I am not asking.
1201
01:13:04,458 --> 01:13:06,583
I am demanding
to see your daughter.
1202
01:13:06,667 --> 01:13:09,208
Oh, Booger.
1203
01:13:09,291 --> 01:13:11,083
I'm sorry.
1204
01:13:26,083 --> 01:13:28,542
Oh, honey, help him.
1205
01:13:28,625 --> 01:13:32,000
Booger, every wedding has
its crisis. This is yours.
1206
01:13:34,417 --> 01:13:37,959
A crisis would be easy
compared to this.
1207
01:13:45,291 --> 01:13:47,250
Jeanie!
1208
01:13:47,333 --> 01:13:49,333
Oh, Booger.
1209
01:13:53,375 --> 01:13:57,500
Booger, the groom never
stops pursuing his bride.
1210
01:13:59,667 --> 01:14:00,834
Never.
1211
01:14:11,458 --> 01:14:14,291
Hey, pal. Hey! Hey!
What are you doing?
1212
01:14:14,375 --> 01:14:16,834
Hey, wait, wait a minute!
Hey, wait! (whistles) Hey!
1213
01:14:22,208 --> 01:14:24,709
(groans)
1214
01:14:32,375 --> 01:14:35,166
(grunting)
1215
01:14:37,750 --> 01:14:39,834
JEANIE: Oh.
1216
01:14:44,583 --> 01:14:47,500
(grunting)
1217
01:14:49,583 --> 01:14:50,583
(exhales)
1218
01:14:51,667 --> 01:14:54,166
-Booger!
-Darling!
1219
01:14:54,250 --> 01:14:56,208
Whoa!
1220
01:14:59,208 --> 01:15:01,458
So what if
I have a child.
1221
01:15:01,542 --> 01:15:04,792
I'm so confused. You know,
I just I don't know what
to think anymore.
1222
01:15:04,875 --> 01:15:07,125
Oh, marry me, Jeanie.
1223
01:15:07,208 --> 01:15:09,458
I just need a few days
to think about it.
1224
01:15:09,542 --> 01:15:12,500
What, not get married
on Valentine's Day?
1225
01:15:12,583 --> 01:15:15,667
I'm confused, Booger.
I need time!
1226
01:15:15,750 --> 01:15:19,000
There was a time
when getting married
on Valentine's Day
1227
01:15:19,083 --> 01:15:22,208
was the most
important thing
in the world to us.
1228
01:15:25,375 --> 01:15:27,375
Please go, Booger.
1229
01:15:27,458 --> 01:15:29,458
Is that what
you really want?
1230
01:15:31,083 --> 01:15:35,959
No. Not in my heart
and not in my soul,
1231
01:15:36,041 --> 01:15:38,875
but... I'm just so nuts
over this, you know.
1232
01:15:38,959 --> 01:15:42,458
It's like
I just need a little space.
1233
01:15:42,542 --> 01:15:45,041
Please, Booger?
1234
01:16:07,083 --> 01:16:08,667
♪ Jean ♪
1235
01:16:10,000 --> 01:16:12,333
♪ The roses ♪
1236
01:16:12,417 --> 01:16:14,583
♪ Are red ♪
1237
01:16:17,458 --> 01:16:21,125
♪ All the leaves
have gone green ♪
1238
01:16:25,625 --> 01:16:29,959
♪ And the skies
are so low ♪
1239
01:16:31,542 --> 01:16:33,417
♪ You can touch them ♪
1240
01:16:33,500 --> 01:16:36,583
♪ And so ♪
1241
01:16:36,667 --> 01:16:39,750
BOTH:
♪ Come into my arms ♪
1242
01:16:39,834 --> 01:16:43,291
♪ Bonnie Jean ♪♪
1243
01:16:43,375 --> 01:16:46,625
(giggling)
1244
01:16:47,875 --> 01:16:49,917
It's on!
1245
01:16:50,000 --> 01:16:52,291
BOTH:
What's on?
1246
01:16:52,375 --> 01:16:54,458
The wedding!
1247
01:16:58,875 --> 01:17:00,792
Whoo-hoo!
1248
01:17:03,792 --> 01:17:07,083
(sighs)
Ah, I'm so glad the wedding
is still on.
1249
01:17:07,166 --> 01:17:09,792
I was so wrong about nerds.
1250
01:17:09,875 --> 01:17:12,333
You know, we nerds believe
in forgiveness.
1251
01:17:14,208 --> 01:17:18,667
It's unreal
how much you remind me
of my friend Bing.
1252
01:17:21,166 --> 01:17:24,417
I've never met anyone
quite like you, Lamar.
1253
01:17:24,500 --> 01:17:26,417
(giggles)
1254
01:17:26,500 --> 01:17:28,250
Well, I'll take that
as a compliment.
1255
01:17:29,333 --> 01:17:30,834
It is.
1256
01:17:44,041 --> 01:17:46,208
-Lewis.
-Booger.
1257
01:17:50,750 --> 01:17:53,083
I'm gonna marry
Cathleen Turtletaub.
1258
01:17:54,792 --> 01:17:57,667
Who's Cathleen Turtletaub?
1259
01:17:57,750 --> 01:17:59,834
Heidi's mother.
1260
01:17:59,917 --> 01:18:03,333
But you don't even know
Cathleen Turtletaub.
1261
01:18:03,417 --> 01:18:06,417
I know, but it's
the right thing to do.
1262
01:18:17,583 --> 01:18:19,542
-(coughs)
-(hisses)
1263
01:18:22,875 --> 01:18:25,583
This really isn't about
Cathleen Turtletaub, is it?
1264
01:18:29,041 --> 01:18:31,250
No, it isn't.
1265
01:18:32,125 --> 01:18:35,583
This is about your zapatos
becoming muy frío, no?
1266
01:18:36,083 --> 01:18:39,375
-Lewis.
-Booger.
1267
01:18:39,458 --> 01:18:43,375
I didn't go through with it
with the stripper last night.
1268
01:18:43,458 --> 01:18:46,917
-Oh, yeah, we know.
-How do you know?
1269
01:18:47,000 --> 01:18:49,041
(smacks lips) Well, we kind of
figured it out
1270
01:18:49,125 --> 01:18:52,208
when we edited the videotape
to ruin Chip's life.
1271
01:18:52,291 --> 01:18:55,250
Here I was passing up
1272
01:18:55,333 --> 01:18:58,834
this mound of perfect.
1273
01:18:58,917 --> 01:19:03,709
I, who have never
passed up anything in my life.
1274
01:19:03,792 --> 01:19:07,875
What is the matter
with me, Lewis?
1275
01:19:07,959 --> 01:19:10,208
Where has the Booger
I have known
1276
01:19:10,291 --> 01:19:13,583
and loved... gone?
1277
01:19:15,125 --> 01:19:19,208
(clock chiming)
1278
01:19:22,834 --> 01:19:24,500
You ready?
1279
01:19:26,208 --> 01:19:27,125
Let's do it.
1280
01:19:27,208 --> 01:19:28,291
(glass hits table)
1281
01:19:32,500 --> 01:19:35,041
Please be my valentine.
1282
01:19:35,125 --> 01:19:39,208
You haven't given me
a valentine in 10 years and
this is what you come up with?
1283
01:19:39,291 --> 01:19:41,166
Pathetic!
1284
01:19:44,792 --> 01:19:46,834
(nervous chuckle)
1285
01:19:52,667 --> 01:19:55,125
(whimpers)
1286
01:19:55,208 --> 01:19:58,667
Aaron, Tippy, the food fight
was a sensational idea!
1287
01:19:58,750 --> 01:20:01,875
I'm gonna use the nerd theme
at my wedding.
(guffaws)
1288
01:20:04,542 --> 01:20:05,875
Mylan.
1289
01:20:07,291 --> 01:20:10,917
I'm so sorry for all the trouble
that you've experienced
with this affair.
1290
01:20:11,000 --> 01:20:13,125
Thanks for coming
to the wedding.
1291
01:20:13,208 --> 01:20:16,834
I do not care to judge you,
Aaron, on the basis of the hell
I've been through.
1292
01:20:16,917 --> 01:20:19,625
But I trust that it was merely
a horrific aberration
1293
01:20:19,709 --> 01:20:22,500
and I expect the wedding
to be quite different.
1294
01:20:26,041 --> 01:20:28,041
What?
1295
01:20:29,041 --> 01:20:31,667
Oh.
1296
01:20:31,750 --> 01:20:33,709
I, uh, trust
that'll be enough.
1297
01:20:35,375 --> 01:20:38,792
Wouldn't have missed
this wedding for the world.
1298
01:20:38,875 --> 01:20:41,792
LEWIS: Everybody, stand aside!
Make way for the groom!
1299
01:20:41,875 --> 01:20:43,834
(horn beeping)
1300
01:20:43,917 --> 01:20:46,583
I would know
that horn anywhere.
1301
01:20:51,917 --> 01:20:54,375
-LEWIS: Dad!
-U.N.!
1302
01:20:54,458 --> 01:20:57,208
-Hey, how are you?
-Hey!
1303
01:20:57,291 --> 01:20:59,000
-Congratulations.
-Thank you.
1304
01:20:59,083 --> 01:21:01,959
I wouldn't miss
a nerd wedding for the world.
1305
01:21:02,041 --> 01:21:04,375
-How are you?
-Lewis, how are you?
1306
01:21:04,458 --> 01:21:07,375
-How's my unborn grandson?
-You mean your unborn
fetal son?
1307
01:21:07,458 --> 01:21:10,375
(both guffawing)
1308
01:21:10,458 --> 01:21:12,375
Emergency! Excuse, please.
1309
01:21:12,458 --> 01:21:14,375
The bishop has
a kidney stone.
1310
01:21:14,458 --> 01:21:16,667
He no make it to wedding!
1311
01:21:16,750 --> 01:21:20,208
Wha-how am I supposed
to get married
without a clergyman?
1312
01:21:20,291 --> 01:21:23,166
-I can marry you.
-But I don't love you.
1313
01:21:23,250 --> 01:21:26,375
Oh. No, no. I took
a correspondence course.
1314
01:21:26,458 --> 01:21:28,750
I'm a fully ordained
Tilhoonian minister.
1315
01:21:28,834 --> 01:21:31,375
-You are?
-U.N.
1316
01:21:31,458 --> 01:21:33,291
(guffawing)
1317
01:21:43,333 --> 01:21:45,959
(guffawing continues)
1318
01:21:48,250 --> 01:21:52,125
♪♪ (wedding music)
1319
01:22:01,792 --> 01:22:05,208
-Hi, Dad.
-Shh. (clears throat)
1320
01:22:05,291 --> 01:22:07,208
-♪♪ (organ)
-Sorry.
1321
01:22:07,291 --> 01:22:10,000
♪♪ ("Wedding March")
1322
01:22:13,875 --> 01:22:17,709
(guests murmuring)
1323
01:22:17,792 --> 01:22:21,542
-WOMAN #1:
Oh, she's just beautiful.
-WOMAN #2: Isn't she?
1324
01:22:21,625 --> 01:22:25,208
I've never seen a nerd
wedding I didn't cry at.
1325
01:22:25,291 --> 01:22:27,875
This is just fabulous!
(crying)
1326
01:22:27,959 --> 01:22:29,792
What a weenie.
1327
01:22:33,959 --> 01:22:35,542
(shutter clicks)
1328
01:22:35,625 --> 01:22:37,625
-(all sigh)
-Doesn't she look gorgeous?
1329
01:22:42,542 --> 01:22:45,500
(both crying)
1330
01:22:55,083 --> 01:22:57,500
(alarm blaring)
1331
01:22:59,041 --> 01:23:02,000
Lewis?
1332
01:23:03,542 --> 01:23:06,792
-Betty, you're having the baby!
-Lewis!
1333
01:23:06,875 --> 01:23:10,083
-Oh. You're having
the baby, honey.
-Lewis.
1334
01:23:10,166 --> 01:23:13,959
Booger, quick. You guys. Lamar!
Quick, come here!
1335
01:23:14,041 --> 01:23:16,625
LEWIS: Lamar. You guys.
Booger.
1336
01:23:16,709 --> 01:23:18,333
-Lamar, quick, hurry!
-BOOGER: Don't panic!
1337
01:23:18,417 --> 01:23:21,333
Ogre. Ogre.
We gotta carry her.
1338
01:23:21,417 --> 01:23:23,458
Okay. Okay, here we go.
1339
01:23:23,542 --> 01:23:26,166
-LEWIS: That's it. Careful.
-Okay, I got her.
1340
01:23:26,250 --> 01:23:29,792
-Okay, Lewey! Where, Lewey?
-Come on. Follow me.
1341
01:23:29,875 --> 01:23:33,500
-ALL: (chattering)
-OGRE: Where, Lewey?
1342
01:23:33,583 --> 01:23:36,333
(alarm continues blaring)
1343
01:23:36,417 --> 01:23:39,333
(alarm stops)
1344
01:23:39,417 --> 01:23:42,542
LEWIS: Ogre, here.
Put her head right here
in the chopped liver.
1345
01:23:42,625 --> 01:23:45,583
-Lewis!
-WOMAN: She need an ice pack?
1346
01:23:47,125 --> 01:23:49,500
Betty, don't push.
Don't push, Betty.
1347
01:23:49,583 --> 01:23:50,583
(groans)
1348
01:23:51,792 --> 01:23:53,500
ALL (chanting):
Betty, don't push.
Betty, don't push.
1349
01:23:53,583 --> 01:23:56,291
-Lewis!
-Betty, don't push!
Betty, don't push!
1350
01:23:56,375 --> 01:23:58,834
ALL (chanting): Eee-hee-hoo.
1351
01:24:04,792 --> 01:24:07,875
Eee-hee-hoo!
Eee-hee-hoo!
1352
01:24:07,959 --> 01:24:10,500
BOOGER: Heidi, where
are you going?
1353
01:24:11,166 --> 01:24:13,709
I shouldn't be here.
1354
01:24:13,792 --> 01:24:16,375
Of course
you should be here.
1355
01:24:16,458 --> 01:24:20,750
I'm not really your daughter.
Chip got me from an orphanage.
1356
01:24:23,667 --> 01:24:27,709
Chip got you
in an orphanage?
1357
01:24:27,792 --> 01:24:29,667
(scoffs)
1358
01:24:31,291 --> 01:24:33,375
-You, um,
-BETTY: (screaming)
1359
01:24:33,458 --> 01:24:35,542
rented an orphan?
1360
01:24:35,625 --> 01:24:38,583
Well, it seemed like
a good idea at the time.
1361
01:24:39,625 --> 01:24:42,375
And I've been under
a lot of stress lately.
1362
01:24:42,458 --> 01:24:44,667
-I'm sorry.
-(crying)
1363
01:24:46,667 --> 01:24:48,542
Daddy, don't! Don't!
1364
01:24:48,625 --> 01:24:49,583
-(smack)
-Ooh!
1365
01:24:49,667 --> 01:24:51,917
-(grunts)
-(chanting) Betty, don't push!
1366
01:24:52,000 --> 01:24:54,875
-(screams)
-(chanting)
Betty, don't scream!
1367
01:24:54,959 --> 01:24:58,875
-Get off our land.
-(chanting continues)
Betty, don't scream!
1368
01:24:58,959 --> 01:25:01,917
Aren't you forgetting
something?
1369
01:25:02,000 --> 01:25:04,083
The keys to the B.M.W.
1370
01:25:04,166 --> 01:25:06,291
MAN:
Cough 'em up.
1371
01:25:06,375 --> 01:25:10,166
-BETTY: (screaming)
-Okay, honey!
1372
01:25:13,333 --> 01:25:17,667
-BETTY:
It's all your fault, Lewis!
-You nerds did this to me.
1373
01:25:19,458 --> 01:25:21,709
But I'll get you...
1374
01:25:21,792 --> 01:25:25,250
if it's the last thing
I do!
1375
01:25:25,333 --> 01:25:28,125
-(grunting)
-(laughing)
1376
01:25:28,208 --> 01:25:31,083
-Bye, Chip.
-Hmph!
1377
01:25:31,166 --> 01:25:33,125
MAN:
Bye, Chip. (laughter)
1378
01:25:33,208 --> 01:25:35,875
My next husband's
going to be a nerd.
1379
01:25:40,834 --> 01:25:44,500
I, uh--I would like to
make an announcement.
1380
01:25:44,583 --> 01:25:47,250
-(Betty screams)
-I have, uh,
1381
01:25:48,375 --> 01:25:50,083
been a jerk
for this whole wedding.
1382
01:25:50,166 --> 01:25:53,166
You certainly have.
1383
01:25:53,250 --> 01:25:55,417
Well, I've...I-I never
been around a nerd before,
1384
01:25:55,500 --> 01:25:58,291
and I guess, uh--
1385
01:25:58,375 --> 01:26:00,959
well, I guess I judged
a book by its cover.
1386
01:26:01,041 --> 01:26:04,333
-(groaning)
-Booger.
1387
01:26:06,166 --> 01:26:08,750
I know you and my Jeanie
are gonna be very happy
together
1388
01:26:08,834 --> 01:26:11,834
because you know what you are
and you're proud of it.
1389
01:26:15,375 --> 01:26:17,125
Well, I'm, uh,
1390
01:26:17,208 --> 01:26:20,041
sick of trying to be
something I'm not.
1391
01:26:20,125 --> 01:26:22,375
Come on!
Push, honey, push! Push!
1392
01:26:22,458 --> 01:26:24,041
Tippy.
1393
01:26:24,125 --> 01:26:26,625
NERDS (chanting): Push, Betty,
push! Push, Betty, push!
1394
01:26:26,709 --> 01:26:30,000
-I--
-Push, Betty, push!
1395
01:26:30,083 --> 01:26:31,959
I--
1396
01:26:34,458 --> 01:26:36,792
I am nouveau riche
and I'm proud of it!
1397
01:26:40,750 --> 01:26:45,875
Mylan, if who I am isn't good
enough for the Republican party
of this state,
1398
01:26:45,959 --> 01:26:48,000
then to hell
with the nomination!
1399
01:26:48,083 --> 01:26:51,000
-And that is the truth!
-NERDS: Push, Betty, push!
1400
01:26:51,083 --> 01:26:54,000
The nerds have brought
my man back.
1401
01:26:54,083 --> 01:26:56,041
WOMEN:
Aw!
1402
01:26:56,125 --> 01:26:58,166
-(gasps)
-(gasps)
1403
01:26:58,250 --> 01:27:00,375
-Push, Betty, push!
Push, Betty, push!
-(screams)
1404
01:27:00,458 --> 01:27:03,709
-Push, Betty, push!
-Wow.
1405
01:27:03,792 --> 01:27:07,125
Hey, hey, hey.
Don't go.
1406
01:27:12,458 --> 01:27:15,542
What would you say
if I said
1407
01:27:15,625 --> 01:27:18,542
we should adopt Heidi?
1408
01:27:18,625 --> 01:27:20,542
(Betty screams)
1409
01:27:20,625 --> 01:27:24,041
I would say that
I love you even more
than I already do,
1410
01:27:24,125 --> 01:27:26,792
and I didn't think
that was possible.
1411
01:27:29,458 --> 01:27:32,208
You gave up what you wanted
to tell the truth.
1412
01:27:32,291 --> 01:27:34,917
I really admire
that quality in a person.
1413
01:27:35,000 --> 01:27:38,625
Push, Betty, push!
Push, Betty, push!
1414
01:27:38,709 --> 01:27:42,542
It's coming!
It's coming, Betty!
Come on. Push, honey, push!
1415
01:27:42,625 --> 01:27:45,333
-BETTY: (grunting)
-(baby crying)
1416
01:27:47,834 --> 01:27:50,959
(crying continues)
1417
01:27:51,041 --> 01:27:54,750
Oh. Oh, it's so beautiful.
1418
01:27:54,834 --> 01:27:57,709
Our son is born.
1419
01:27:57,792 --> 01:28:00,041
Kunta Skolnick!
1420
01:28:08,166 --> 01:28:10,458
Behold the nerd child.
1421
01:28:15,000 --> 01:28:19,000
I see before me two souls who
desire to be joined together.
1422
01:28:19,083 --> 01:28:21,166
There's no greater
challenge in life,
1423
01:28:21,250 --> 01:28:25,417
and also, no greater
reward. (guffaws)
1424
01:28:25,500 --> 01:28:28,166
(crying)
1425
01:28:30,417 --> 01:28:34,583
Do you, Dudley Dawson,
take this woman,
Jean Lagarde Humphrey,
1426
01:28:34,667 --> 01:28:36,542
to be your lawful wife?
1427
01:28:38,083 --> 01:28:41,125
Before I answer that,
I just want to say
1428
01:28:41,208 --> 01:28:43,250
this is the happiest
moment of my life.
1429
01:28:47,417 --> 01:28:48,875
I do.
1430
01:28:50,083 --> 01:28:52,500
And do you, Jean Lagarde
Humphrey, take this man,
Dudley Dawson,
1431
01:28:52,583 --> 01:28:54,583
to be your lawfully
wedded husband?
1432
01:28:54,667 --> 01:28:56,542
Excuse me.
1433
01:28:58,375 --> 01:29:01,625
I'm going to love you
till the end of time.
1434
01:29:01,709 --> 01:29:04,875
NERDS: (crying)
1435
01:29:04,959 --> 01:29:08,667
-I do.
-Then with the power
invested in me
1436
01:29:08,750 --> 01:29:12,667
by the Tilhoon Institute
of Home Learning Church,
1437
01:29:12,750 --> 01:29:15,250
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
1438
01:29:21,709 --> 01:29:23,792
(guffaws)
1439
01:29:25,542 --> 01:29:27,625
Ohh!
1440
01:29:34,542 --> 01:29:38,333
Nerds forever!
Forever nerds!
1441
01:29:38,417 --> 01:29:42,208
Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!
1442
01:29:42,291 --> 01:29:46,083
GUESTS (chanting):
Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!
1443
01:29:46,166 --> 01:29:49,125
♪♪ (dance rock)
1444
01:29:53,083 --> 01:29:56,458
♪♪ (singing in Japanese)
1445
01:29:57,750 --> 01:30:04,792
♪♪
(continues singing in Japanese)
1446
01:30:06,792 --> 01:30:11,667
-♪♪
-(cheering, laughing)
1447
01:30:15,291 --> 01:30:17,583
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
(laughing)
1448
01:30:23,333 --> 01:30:25,959
Oh, Aaron.
1449
01:30:26,834 --> 01:30:28,834
(singing in Japanese)
1450
01:30:30,792 --> 01:30:35,458
TAKASHI:
(continues singing in Japanese)
1451
01:30:47,500 --> 01:30:51,417
♪♪
1452
01:30:51,500 --> 01:30:52,709
Woo!
1453
01:30:54,500 --> 01:30:55,834
Ya-hee!
1454
01:30:57,333 --> 01:30:58,333
(laughing)
1455
01:30:59,667 --> 01:31:03,166
-(cheering)
-Muah!
1456
01:31:05,500 --> 01:31:09,792
♪♪ (continues in Japanese)
1457
01:31:09,875 --> 01:31:14,125
TAKASHI (in English):
♪ Darling, I love you ♪
1458
01:31:14,208 --> 01:31:17,125
♪ Oh, darling ♪
1459
01:31:17,208 --> 01:31:19,250
♪ Darling, I love you ♪
1460
01:31:19,333 --> 01:31:21,583
♪ Love you ♪
1461
01:31:22,542 --> 01:31:27,417
♪ Darling ♪
1462
01:31:27,500 --> 01:31:31,250
-(music stops)
-(applauding, cheering)
1463
01:31:31,333 --> 01:31:34,208
Lewis, thanks
for everything.
1464
01:31:36,375 --> 01:31:38,542
It's gonna be
a great year.
1465
01:31:40,250 --> 01:31:43,333
(all guffawing)
1466
01:31:47,917 --> 01:31:49,834
(chattering)
1467
01:31:49,917 --> 01:31:51,709
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