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Don't keep pouring more time, money, brainpower, and effort into a worsening situation just because you've already committed so much. The temptation to do so is great. Why? It's the same phenomenon that causes people to keep their money in sinking stocks, hoping the price will recover and their investment will recoup its value. |
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The reasoning goes like this: "I've already invested so much time and energy that I should stay with it and see if I can rescue that investment from being a total loss." That reasoning has kept the United States in third-world countries and in ill-conceived social programs. It also keeps individuals in damaging relationships and poor business deals. |
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Tip 710: Start with goals, then move to solutions. |
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If you start with solutions to a problem and one or both of you can't accept the stated solutions, you may remain at odds forever. If, on the other hand, you state only your goals or motivations, then you can either accept or reject solutions as necessary and still come to an agreement that allows both of you to meet your goals. |
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Tip 711: Adopt a brainstorming technique to generate solutions. |
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Once you have stated goals or motivations, then generate possible solutions together as a team rather than as adversaries. After you have a list of possible solutions, select the best two or three solutions and focus on those. Finally, work out the details of each of those solutions and select the best. |
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Tip 712: Present fewer, not more, choices when things stall. |
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Having too many choices paralyzes people in decision making. Analysis paralysis sets in with even the smallest decisions. You walk into the local convenience store that has only Snickers and Milk Duds and you can make a choice in two seconds or less. But drift into a candy store that has 28 different candy bars and the decision will likely take you two minutes. The same happens in setting appointments. Invite a colleague to lunch "sometime this month" and you'll have a devil of a time getting together; invite the colleague to lunch either Tuesday or Friday and you'll get a quicker commitment. |
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When people seem puzzled and indecisive, don't take that as impetus to brainstorm more options. Instead, narrow the choices. Lead them to focus on the two or three best contenders and forget the rest. |
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